Ways to Avoid Being a Crappy Man in 2022 (Ep. 271)

0:00 This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.

0:21 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.

0:23 Let's get into it.

0:25 Listen to advice and accept instruction that you may gain wisdom in the future.

0:29 That is Proverbs 19.20, keep that in mind as we go through today's show.

0:33 But guys, we are here in the new year.

0:35 We're so glad to be here with you.

0:37 We're so glad that you are here with us, but guys, start your year off right.

0:40 So a lot of guys at the beginning of the year, for whatever reason, even though I kind of advocate

0:44 against this, it's like, all right, new year, new me.

0:46 I'm going to do this thing.

0:47 I'm going to do that thing.

0:48 So we want to try to catch you in that tidal wave and give you some of our content.

0:50 So guys, if you go to our website, there's a couple of resources for you that I think

0:54 will help you as you kind of kick off your 2022 in addition to this podcast.

0:58 The first is our devotionals and the second is our book list.

1:00 So our devotionals, we have three different devotionals that we put out.

1:03 One's kind of focused on our philosophy on manhood.

1:06 One's about kind of building a group of guys around you that we call foxhole.

1:09 One's about marriage.

1:10 Those are great resources to take in here at the beginning part of the year because the

1:13 marriage one's only five days.

1:15 I think the foxhole one, seven days and the other manhood one is 21 days.

1:19 And so you can break those things down.

1:20 You can kind of burn through them all.

1:22 You can share them with friends.

1:23 You can go through them with friends.

1:24 You can go through them with your men's group.

1:25 Those are great resources, so you go to undaunted.life/devotionals.

1:30 That will be in the show notes and also our book list.

1:33 So on our website, we have a book list that's the 100 books every modern Christian man

1:37 should read list.

1:38 Okay.

1:39 So I've compiled this list over years and years and this is a living list.

1:42 So we are constantly putting books on and taking books off as I read new books every single

1:47 year.

1:48 I will kind of like coalesce them into this into this list and kind of move it in there.

1:51 There's a bunch of different categories.

1:53 There's categories on business, on apologetics, on, you know, leadership on, you know, whatever,

1:58 like there, there's so many great categories.

2:00 So if you're not a reader, which most guys are not, there's no excuse for being a non-reader.

2:06 There really isn't, especially as an adult, right?

2:09 But this is a great place to start because a lot of guys will just kind of, you know,

2:12 look up, look up at the sky like, Oh gosh, I wish there were some books out there that

2:15 I knew were really good.

2:16 And here's the deal.

2:17 I gave it to you.

2:18 I gave you a hundred and I've got some really awesome guys right now that are updating me

2:22 that say, look, I'm working my way through the hundred books list right now.

2:26 So these are dudes that are trying to read every single one of those books.

2:29 And I kind of feel bad when we're because we're putting books on and taking books off, but

2:33 it doesn't matter.

2:34 Read books this year.

2:35 And that's a great way to get it done.

2:36 We've given you the book list.

2:37 But guys, for today's episode back by a popular demand, okay, I am resurrecting the ways to

2:44 avoid being a crappy man series, okay?

2:47 So if you've been listening to this show for any length of time back on episode 56, we're

2:51 at like, what, 270 something, 271 on episode 56 that was in 2019, I did ways to avoid being

2:57 a crappy man in 2019.

2:59 And then I did the same thing at the beginning of 2020.

3:01 That was episode 112.

3:03 And then I skipped it in 2021 for some reason.

3:06 I really don't know exactly why.

3:08 I don't know if it was just because I was completely exhausted from 2020 and all the

3:12 news cycles and all the changes and all of this and all of that and having a son and,

3:16 you know, you know, raising our first child and all that type of thing.

3:19 I really can't explain it, but I didn't do one for 2021.

3:22 But the reason why I put those together is because I feel like there's a lot of guys

3:26 out there that are getting really, really bad advice on manhood on how to operate in

3:30 the world on, you know, what they should do, what they should not do.

3:34 And I wanted to be like, okay, I want to bring together this wisdom, none of which I've thought

3:37 up myself.

3:38 I've just kind of brought it together from a myriad of other sources over, you know,

3:42 thousands of years of wisdom, right?

3:44 And kind of bring it into a list to make it more tangible, to make it more digestible,

3:48 something that you can actually like grasp and take with you.

3:51 Because again, it's like, Hey, here's this book, right?

3:53 It's 300 pages and you're going to get one thing out of it that you remember.

3:58 That's valuable.

3:59 You know, it does have value, but it's harder to kind of wrap yourself around.

4:02 It's harder to kind of base your life out of it.

4:04 But I will tell you, I've had guys that have used the things that I did on episode 56 and

4:09 112 and they'll, they'll type up the, the ways to avoid being a crappy man for that

4:14 year.

4:15 They'll put them on their mirror, like, you know, where they get ready in the morning

4:17 or they'll print it out and put it in their truck, they'll look at it from time to time.

4:20 It's just a reminder.

4:21 Okay.

4:22 These are just reminders of things that you can do to avoid being a crappy man.

4:26 Now, for this year's list, one thing that I did since I've actually had, you know, I

4:29 guess technically two years to think about it since the last time I did this is I looked

4:33 at some of the ones that I did back in 2019 and 2020 and some of those are going to make

4:37 it on the list this time because it's going to be super applicable no matter what year

4:41 we're going into.

4:42 But then I had some others that, you know, over the last several weeks, as I would think

4:46 of something, I would just put it in my notes on my phone because it's like, this is age

4:50 old wisdom that may come up as I'm experiencing a situation or reading a news story or something

4:55 like that to where it's like, okay, this is something that we need to do.

4:58 So those are the ways that you can apply this.

5:00 So don't just listen to this episode.

5:02 Really think about the things on this list that you can apply because I just got to be

5:05 honest with you.

5:06 I don't really know guys that are absolutely perfect in all these areas.

5:09 I think I came up with 14 or 15 ways to avoid being a crappy man in 2022.

5:14 Again, most guys are not crushing it in all of them.

5:17 I guarantee you there's going to be at least one of these things that is a major issue

5:21 for you that you can work on in 2022.

5:23 But for a lot of you guys, you're way better than that.

5:25 You're going to really try to crack at this list and make sure that you can knock these

5:29 things out.

5:30 And again, these aren't just my preferences.

5:31 This is age old wisdom that if you want to avoid being a crappy man, here's the things

5:35 that you're going to do.

5:36 So I'm going to present these in no particular order, right?

5:38 So these aren't going to crescendo at the end on something special and, you know, all

5:42 those different things, I didn't look at them in a certain way.

5:45 I basically am presenting them to you in the way that I thought of them, right?

5:50 So as I thought of them in this particular order, boom, I'm going to present them to you.

5:53 So here we go.

5:54 Without further ado, I present to you how to avoid being a crappy man in 2022.

5:59 And the first thing guys, I know, I know that we're really low key here at Undaunted Life

6:04 of Man's podcast, we like to just kind of ease into things, right?

6:08 We don't really like to hit you in the face too hard from the very, very beginning.

6:11 So here's the first thing.

6:14 Stop looking at porn and jerking off.

6:18 Can he say that?

6:19 Yep.

6:20 Yep.

6:21 He can.

6:22 And he just did.

6:23 Okay.

6:24 I know a lot of you guys listening to this podcast, look at porn.

6:28 And most people, I would say almost 100% of them look at porn in order to serve them in

6:35 a way that helps them masturbate and helps them, you know, release.

6:40 People say that in case there are any kids or ears listening still at this point.

6:45 But the thing is, is porn is one of the most pervasive things in our culture inside and

6:51 outside the church.

6:52 I don't think there's any lower number of men inside the church that that don't look

6:57 at porn versus, you know, men outside the church, right?

7:00 Or look at porn rather.

7:02 And the thing about it is what you're not understanding with porn is that it's not innocent.

7:07 See, you've been kind of, you know, massaged by culture in a way to where it's like, ah,

7:10 you know what?

7:11 I'm just looking, right?

7:12 It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home, right?

7:15 Oh, my, my wife's never going to figure it out.

7:17 All right.

7:18 You know, my kids are never going to go through my phone and see any of this.

7:21 It's just me.

7:22 It's just the things that I'm doing, you know, this isn't hurting anyone.

7:25 But as you've heard from a lot of people before, pornography is a feeder system for

7:32 human trafficking.

7:33 A lot of the women and men that are parts of pornography or on pornography that you were

7:38 using the masturbate to, these are people that are stuck.

7:42 There are a lot of people that are doing this and it's a choice and they can get out any

7:45 time they want, but there are a lot of people that are stuck.

7:47 And the only reason why people are still doing this is because there is a market.

7:51 So every time you click on that video, every time you buy that link, every time you download

7:55 that video, whatever it is, somebody's tracking that.

7:59 And if you're, if you're just a straight up business person, it's like, that's another click.

8:03 That's more money in my pocket, right?

8:06 But then let's get on to kind of the masturbation part of things.

8:09 I know for a lot of guys, this is just kind of a thing.

8:12 They're like, well, I, I have to release somehow.

8:15 So this is how I'm going to release.

8:17 And then you look at porn in order to do that.

8:18 But what you're doing and, you know, we've had some guys on this podcast that talked about

8:22 about this and kind of how it rewires your brain.

8:24 So John Fobord, I can't remember the number of the episode, but just go search through our

8:27 episodes for John Fobord F-O-U-B-E-R-T.

8:30 But you're rewiring the pleasure centers of your brain.

8:34 That's why we have kids in their twenties that are unable to get an erection because

8:38 they've been looking at porn since they were seven years old.

8:41 And now when they're with an actual warm bodied woman, they can't get an erection because

8:46 they're not sitting at their computer with their pants at their ankles.

8:50 It's just different.

8:51 They can't fathom because their brain is now like, okay, the way I get that dopamine hit

8:56 is by clicking on this video and then clicking on that video and clicking on the more extreme

9:00 video.

9:01 And now we're going to talk about rape porn.

9:02 And now we're going to talk about violence porn and all those different things, right?

9:05 The thing is, this is the year to stop.

9:08 A lot of guys kind of lament like, Oh man, what am I going to do?

9:11 I keep looking at porn and I just can't get around.

9:13 Just stop looking at porn.

9:15 I've guys asked me, man, I have a problem with porn and masturbation.

9:18 How do I, how do I stop?

9:20 You stop by stopping.

9:22 Like you have guys that are selling these, these workbooks, you know, for 30 bucks and

9:28 it's like, Hey, here's your step-by-step thing about how you, how you get all porn.

9:32 It's like, stop looking at porn.

9:35 Because think about it.

9:36 If you don't look at porn anymore, you may affect your ability to masturbate or look

9:40 at it the backwards way.

9:42 Stop masturbating and you have no need to look at porn anymore.

9:45 Well, I shouldn't just have to white knuckle it.

9:48 It should be some sort of a thing that takes over my brain.

9:50 No, it doesn't.

9:51 There's some guys they can pray and be delivered from any type of, you know, lustful temptation.

9:56 That's not how it is for me.

9:59 I spent a lot of time in my formative years looking at pornography and masturbating, but

10:03 it's just not something that I do now.

10:05 It's a decision that I've already made.

10:07 So if I'm home alone or if I'm out on the road or any of those types of things, the

10:10 decision has already been made.

10:11 Kyle Thompson does not look at porn and Kyle Thompson does not masturbate, right?

10:16 I know this is a really heavy place to start, but guys, if you want to avoid being a crappy

10:19 man, if you want to avoid a lot of pain and hardship, stop looking important and jerking

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10:54 All right.

10:55 Next one here, absorb lots of content, absorb lots of content, okay?

11:01 So I tell you guys all the time about the amount of books that I read, the amount of

11:04 podcasts I listen to.

11:05 I think in 2021, I read right at 45 books, it was 44, 45, I forget where I absolutely

11:11 ended up, but I listened to over a thousand podcast episodes, I mean, on a daily basis,

11:16 I might listen to a dozen podcast episodes, some of those are 10 minutes long, some of

11:19 those are three hours long or more, but I'm absorbing content all the time and you can

11:25 do the same.

11:27 So a lot of guys, I know you're busy, you've got your business, you got your family, you've

11:30 got, you know, your side hustles, you've got all these different things, but you are able

11:33 to absorb content, especially in the world we live in now because you have a supercomputer

11:38 in your pocket that allows you to access all your books.

11:42 That allows you to access audio books, to access YouTube videos, to access, you know,

11:46 all these things that help develop your brain.

11:48 Now I'm not saying don't, you know, absorb entertainment.

11:50 Yeah, you can look at some funny dog videos and, you know, watch the movies and all that

11:53 like that's just no big deal, but absorb content that is helping to shape your mind in a positive

11:59 way.

12:00 So that can be, you know, Christianity type content that could be documentary, you know,

12:05 documentarian, you know, documentary type podcast content or otherwise, like there's

12:09 a lot of things that you can take in, but the reason why I'm saying do that is because

12:13 a lot of guys are caught flat footed.

12:16 A lot of guys are caught flat footed.

12:17 You know, I talked about this when it came to what was going on at the local school boards

12:20 and things like that, you have these men that are so fired up, they're mad about this thing

12:26 called, you know, critical race theory, but they have no idea where it comes from because

12:30 they've never read the communist manifesto.

12:32 They've never heard, you know, a conservative voice break down the ideology that comes from

12:37 the Frankfurt school, they've never heard about critical theory and how it gave way to

12:42 all these other theories.

12:43 They don't, they've never read about the philosophies that undergird what Karl Marx even came up

12:47 with.

12:48 I'm just using this as an example, but it's because they're not it's, they're not absorbing

12:52 content themselves.

12:54 They're just kind of going through life, right?

12:55 The only content they're absorbing is, you know, fantasy, a football statistics or, you

12:59 know, rankings or something like that, or, you know, who their, their college, you know,

13:03 14 year old has signed to play for their college, you know, six years from now or something

13:07 like that.

13:08 That's all the, the content they're absorbing.

13:10 It's not useful content.

13:12 When you're trying to lead your family, when you're trying to be a great family shepherd,

13:15 that's not helping you in any way, shape or form, okay?

13:18 But you can absorb a tremendous amount of content, especially in our modern context.

13:23 Again, listen to as many podcasts as you can.

13:25 Listen to them in the car.

13:26 Listen to them while you're mowing along.

13:28 Listen to them while you're doing stuff around the house when no one's around you, right?

13:31 You've got the ability to do so, buy earbuds, you know, get the, get the ox cord for the

13:36 truck, whatever you need to do, absorb lots of content in 2022.

13:40 All right.

13:41 The next way to avoid being a crappy man in 2022 is don't be late.

13:46 Don't be late.

13:49 One of the most annoying things and one of the most hurtful things that people can do

13:54 on a day in, day out basis, that people do all the time and feel no pressure to do otherwise

13:59 is that they're late.

14:02 They're just, they'll categorize it as, oh, you know, I'm just kind of a late person

14:06 or, you know, I'm from a different culture and so time is just kind of relative and blah,

14:10 blah, blah.

14:11 Well, let's see.

14:12 You're from the West and in your more type A, so I understand why you're on time, but

14:14 I don't really need to be on time.

14:16 But what you communicate to people when you're late, because if you're late to something

14:21 that only you like you intended to be out in the field cutting wood at, you know, nine

14:25 thirty in the morning and you show up at nine forty five, no big deal.

14:28 No one was waiting on you to pick up the axe and get after it, right?

14:32 But if you're showing up to a business meeting or you're showing up to a church, you know,

14:36 a meeting, a prayer meeting, or if you're showing up to some sort of a practice or something

14:41 like that and you're late, what you're communicating to the people there is that your time is more

14:46 important than their time.

14:49 That your standards are more important than their standards that you have to wait because

14:55 they're more important than you and so unbelievably rude.

15:01 And then you get these people and this is kind of a cultural thing wherever you're at to

15:04 where it's like, oh, they're, they're just a late person.

15:06 That's just who they are.

15:07 But the thing is, is that's just not true at all because I know people in my life that

15:11 are late all the time and it drives me nuts, but you know what they're not late for?

15:16 Things that they find to be important.

15:19 So think about let's say you're in sales, right?

15:21 And let's say you sell, you know, widgets, whatever a widget would be.

15:24 And let's say you're a late person every time, you know, you're supposed to meet someone

15:27 to go watch some fights or meet somebody to do some sort of a meeting or something like

15:31 that.

15:32 You're always late.

15:33 No matter what, you're five, 10, 20 minutes late, whatever the situation is, but you can

15:36 sell a bunch of widgets to this person and it's a lay down sale, right?

15:41 It's the easiest sell that you could possibly get.

15:44 All you have to do is show up and let's say that meeting is at two o'clock in the afternoon.

15:48 What do you want to bet that that person is there, not just on time, but early?

15:54 Because they can close the deal.

15:56 They can make a five figure commission by just showing up on time.

15:59 I bet you they show up on time.

16:01 I know people that are teachers that are in every other social setting in their life.

16:05 They're late.

16:06 They're late.

16:07 People are waiting on them.

16:08 Oh, where's this person?

16:09 Where's that?

16:10 You know, why aren't they here yet?

16:11 But they're never late to class.

16:14 So for first hour when the bell rings, they're not, you know, stumbling in with their coffee

16:18 in their book bag or whatever the situation is, they're there on time.

16:22 They're shocking.

16:24 It's like it's a miracle.

16:25 Again, people are late by choice because guys in a year, you should be able to count on one

16:32 hand the number of times that you're late where people had to wait on you because you

16:36 know what?

16:37 Life happens, right?

16:38 You get a flat tire.

16:39 You get pulled over.

16:40 You know, your kid pukes on your way out the door and you've got to clean it up and you've

16:44 got to get them new clothes on and all.

16:45 I understand that.

16:47 And guess what?

16:48 If somebody is late to a meeting with me or with a group that I happen to be in and one

16:52 of those things actually happened, I of course have grace for that person.

16:57 Life happened.

16:58 No big deal, but the overwhelming majority of the time people just didn't plan, you know,

17:04 where they needed to be is 15 minutes away, but they left five minutes before the meeting

17:08 was supposed to start at the very least they're going to be 10 minutes late, okay?

17:12 It's very, very rude to be late all the time.

17:16 It makes no sense and it doesn't change much of your life to plan a little bit ahead because

17:21 you were going to be there anyway to start the clock a little bit earlier guys in 2022.

17:27 Don't be late.

17:28 All right.

17:29 Next one here.

17:30 Don't let sports ruin your night.

17:33 Don't let sports ruin your night.

17:35 So guys, I love sports.

17:37 I love competition.

17:38 If you were looking over my shoulder when I'm in the living room and everybody else is

17:41 gone, you might catch me watching curling or corn hole or something.

17:44 I'm watching competition.

17:46 I love competition.

17:47 I love competing myself.

17:49 It's a big deal, right?

17:51 But I have spent a large part of my life.

17:54 The overwhelming majority of my life, letting sports control how I feel.

18:01 Letting the outcome of a game of which I did not participate in absorb me to to marinate

18:09 my life and affect how I treat people.

18:13 The those closest to me, those just tangentially around me because my team didn't win.

18:19 The fighter I wanted to win didn't win.

18:23 The team I wanted to get into the playoff didn't get into the playoff, right?

18:27 I've let sports ruin untold numbers of nights and by virtue of just being around me, I've

18:35 ruined other people's nights because I just couldn't get past the fact that my team, the

18:39 thing I wanted to have happen that I had nothing to do with didn't happen.

18:45 Don't let that happen this year.

18:47 What I'm not saying is don't watch sports.

18:49 That's not what I'm saying.

18:50 What I'm not saying is, you know, don't rob, rob and root for your team.

18:53 That's not what I'm saying either.

18:55 But when you get so wrapped up in the ability to cheer for the team that's on the winning

19:01 side so much so that you can't automatically just go, oh, man, that really stinks.

19:06 Snap your fingers and move on.

19:08 That is a massive problem, right?

19:10 And guys, I know if your favorite team that's never been to the Super Bowl, ghosts in Super

19:14 Bowl and they lose, that really, really sucks.

19:16 I know that if your team that hasn't been in the World Series in a while gets to the

19:19 World Series and they crap the bed, man, that really stinks.

19:22 You know, you put a lot of time and effort into studying this fighter and it's your favorite

19:25 fighter and he hasn't lost in years and then all of a sudden he gets choked out.

19:28 Yeah, man, that really stinks.

19:30 But you should be able to shake your head and five or 10 seconds later, move on with

19:34 your life.

19:36 Don't kick the dog.

19:37 Don't treat your wife poorly.

19:39 Don't treat your kids poorly.

19:41 Don't ignore people because you're in the corner brooding, especially guys that are into collegiate

19:46 athletics, of which I am one.

19:48 But you have these guys that root for these schools, most of the time they didn't even

19:52 go to these schools, right?

19:54 But they're rooting for some university that they love for whatever reason.

19:57 Maybe their grandpa liked or maybe they just picked it up when they were a kid or something

19:59 like that.

20:00 And these 18, 19 and 20 year old kids, these children, right, that they make mistakes and

20:07 then all of a sudden you as a mid 30s or mid 50s, whatever, man, you're losing your mind.

20:13 You're throwing things, you're cursing because some kid playing a game hundreds of miles

20:18 away from you didn't do the thing that you thought they should have done or that you

20:22 probably nefariously think that you could have done, right?

20:27 Sports is awesome.

20:28 Sports is a lot of fun.

20:29 It is amazing when your team or when your fighter or when the person that you're rooting

20:33 for is, is doing the right thing and they win.

20:35 It is such a great feeling.

20:37 But for me guys, I've missed out on a lot of those positive emotions because I have yet

20:42 to really completely control myself in those moments where sports is absolutely dominating

20:48 me personally, right?

20:50 So I can feel that when I start watching because, you know, I like St. Louis Cardinals baseball,

20:54 I like certain fighters, you know, I'm trying to be a Bruins fan and I can feel those little

20:58 tendrils of anger, like kind of cropping up like, Oh my gosh, why didn't he throw that

21:03 ball to the right base?

21:04 Why did he make that mistake?

21:05 Oh my gosh.

21:06 Why did he take that pitch?

21:07 Why did he put himself in this bad situation?

21:10 And then I just got to turn it off and I got to tell you guys for the last several years,

21:14 right?

21:15 I've stopped watching certain sports or star stopped watching certain games like I'm not

21:19 watching playoff games for teams that I really, really like and my quality of life has improved

21:24 so, so very much.

21:26 You would think, Oh, you're ruining all these opportunities to have these positive, you

21:30 know, interactions with your team and with other fans and all the, but perhaps, but my

21:35 quality of life and my spouses, quality of life has improved tremendously because I'm

21:40 no longer letting sports ruin my night.

21:42 So you should do the same in 2022.

21:44 All right, guys, the next way to avoid being a crappy man in 2022 is to seek wisdom over

21:51 knowledge, seek wisdom over knowledge.

21:54 Now, for any of you astute listeners, you might go back to whenever I was talking about

21:58 how you should have absorbed lots of content, right?

22:01 Because when you absorb lots of content, that gives you what it gives you knowledge because

22:05 when you know about all these things that are happening around you or things happening,

22:08 the world or things happened in history or whatever, you're gaining knowledge from those

22:12 things.

22:13 But knowledge is not nearly as valuable and usable as wisdom.

22:20 Because just think, think about it.

22:21 Let's say you're like, you know, a jeopardy champion, trivia champion type person.

22:24 You have all this useless information, just, you know, plinking around in your brain and

22:28 you can just recall it, you know, at a moment's notice, right?

22:31 That's not a negative thing that that's not a net negative.

22:35 That's probably a net positive for you because you know so many things.

22:38 But what if you don't know how to use that information?

22:41 So just just think about it for last year, redo, you know, a few dozen books, but let's

22:46 say I couldn't put those books together in a proper context and present them to you in

22:50 a way that you would be able to use that information to better your personal life or let's say

22:54 there's no podcasts, there's no mic in front of my face, let's say it's just me, right?

22:59 If I'm just reading that stuff just to, you know, pass the time and to kind of, you know,

23:04 whatever.

23:05 But I'm not applying that in any type of a wisdom field way.

23:08 Isn't that an issue?

23:10 And so many guys are seeking knowledge.

23:13 They want to know things so that they can be right, right?

23:16 You see this in all kinds of different circles, whether it's political or theological or otherwise,

23:20 these guys just want to be right.

23:21 They want to be right, right, right.

23:23 So all they really want to focus on is being right.

23:26 But the ability to apply wisdom to a situation is so much more valuable.

23:31 And I'm trying to think of an example as I stand here, but imagine like your teenage

23:35 son is asking you if you can help them with a situation with a girl.

23:39 Now, if you're just pulling out quotes from, you know, men are from Mars and women are from

23:43 Venus or from this, this random, you know, book about love languages or something like

23:47 that.

23:48 And it's not that those things aren't valuable.

23:50 They're pulling out knowledge, but you're not teaching your son how to apply wisdom to

23:53 a situation.

23:55 You're not teaching your son to pull back from the situation, right?

23:58 That they're, they're on the ground level with pull back up to 30,000 foot view, view

24:02 their situation, you know, uh, neutrally and make a call, make a judgment, uh, make, make

24:08 a new action or something like that.

24:10 And it's because their focus is on knowledge, not wisdom.

24:13 So especially with the things that are going on in the world and all the craziness that

24:17 we seem to get knowledge is not nearly as important as wisdom.

24:20 So in 2022, seek wisdom over knowledge.

24:23 All right, guys, the next one here is someone attached to the one that I just got through

24:26 talking about, but it's seek truth over narrative.

24:31 Seek truth over narrative.

24:33 So I just thought of this as I was saying this because I'm just flowing with all this.

24:36 You should see my notes.

24:37 It is paltry.

24:38 It's like one page and I'm just kind of flowing with the rest of the information.

24:40 So I just got an email from this guy who found my podcast and found the stuff that we've

24:45 done because he was looking into Mars Hill and that Christianity today, podcasts about

24:49 the fall, the rise and fall of Mars Hill and all those different things.

24:52 And so some people that are, you know, searching that end up finding me, like I don't really

24:56 know why he sends me this long, very well thought out email about, you know, how I, how I basically

25:01 am giving short shrift to the difference between gender and sex and, you know, how he has a

25:05 different view on that and blah, blah, blah and all these different things.

25:08 But this is a guy that, you know, I'm, I'm making some broad, you know, base judgments

25:12 here painting with a broad, broad brush.

25:14 This is a guy that wants narrative to be true as opposed to truth being true.

25:19 And you've heard me talk about this, you know, all the time within this podcast where there

25:25 are certain news stories that are dominating the headlines and dominate for months and

25:29 months, if not years, think of George Floyd and Derek Chauvin.

25:32 And then you have other news stories that are seemingly worse in terms of the human toll

25:38 that basically follow the headlines almost immediately.

25:41 I think about the Waka-Cha massacre where the guy drove his SUV through a parade with

25:47 the intent of killing people, which he did.

25:48 He killed six people, right?

25:50 But we don't hear about that guy anymore and we're still, we're still hearing about George

25:55 Floyd, but we're, we're hearing about these, these statues of George Floyd that are going

26:00 up and you know, what's next for Derek Chauvin, right?

26:03 Why is that?

26:04 It's because narrative, there is a narrative that needs to be put out there and narrative

26:09 is super dangerous.

26:10 And guys, this isn't just a problem on the left.

26:12 It really is a pervasive problem on the left, but this happens on the political right as

26:16 well.

26:17 Yeah, people, you know, you heard me talk with Holly McKay, where they will sensationalize

26:21 stories about what's going on in Afghanistan because it serves to get them clicks or to

26:24 get them viewers, right?

26:26 The situation's bad enough.

26:28 Just describe what's going on on the ground.

26:30 You don't have to make stuff up.

26:32 You don't have to put things through a prism in order for them to look a certain way so

26:36 that your audience gets a bigger dose of what you were trying to give them, right?

26:40 But in our postmodern culture that we live in, truth is relative.

26:46 But in reality, truth is just truth, right?

26:50 This is either a pin or it's not.

26:52 For those of you not, you know, watching this right now on YouTube, I'm waving a pin in

26:56 front of the camera.

26:57 So I'm either waving a pin in front of the camera or I'm not.

26:59 I either just drop the pin on the table or I didn't.

27:03 There's no narrative.

27:04 There's only truth.

27:06 And the reason why I think this is so important and it's not just me that thinks this way.

27:09 The reason why this is so important is because if you can take away truth, you can take away

27:15 Jesus.

27:17 I know that might seem like a stretch for some of you guys.

27:20 But again, people that don't have a Christian faith, they don't have a Christian worldview,

27:24 you have to take everything back to the moment of the resurrection.

27:28 Because what these people will try to do is say, hey, man, we don't even know if Jesus

27:31 exists.

27:32 We don't even know if Jesus was a real person, right?

27:34 That was like 2,000 years ago.

27:35 You think we can tell if somebody was real, there was no video cameras back then.

27:38 You know, there wasn't as many people writing stories about it.

27:41 How can we know this guy even existed?

27:43 Oh, you know what?

27:44 This guy existed.

27:45 But, you know, how do we know that he was even actually killed on the cross, right?

27:49 I mean, Romans were, you know, batting a thousand for, you know, killing people on via crucifixion.

27:54 But how do we know that this guy wasn't one of the people that got out?

27:57 How do we know that the swoon theory isn't true?

27:59 How do we know that he didn't just fall asleep on the cross was taken down and magically

28:02 three days later was completely healed except for a couple of holes in his hands, right?

28:07 How can we know that?

28:08 They're attacking truth because a lot of people, they get to this point where they feel cornered.

28:13 And I've had these conversations with people where I'm attacking their worldview because

28:16 their worldview is bankrupt and I'm trying to back them in to understanding the truth

28:20 of the gospel.

28:21 But this is a person that doesn't want truth to be truth.

28:24 This is a person that wants to accept a narrative about truth.

28:27 This is a person that wants to accept a certain, some certain structures and certain key points

28:33 for their worldview.

28:34 But that is a massive, massive problem.

28:37 Guys, it's pervasive even in us because there are times where however you're aligned politically,

28:43 however you're aligned theologically or whatever church you've decided to go to, you kind of

28:48 pull yourself towards that narrative.

28:50 That narrative seems more and more important and more and more beneficial to you and you're

28:53 not really seeking truth for yourself.

28:55 And we'll get more into that here in a little bit.

28:57 But guys, really the big deal that you should focus on in 2022 is fight against that postmodern

29:03 idea that you should focus on narrative.

29:05 Instead you should seek truth.

29:07 All right.

29:08 The next one here, if you suck at persuasion, fix it.

29:13 Now guys, I have been given a little bit of a natural ability in the, in the area of persuasion,

29:18 right?

29:19 There are people that are just born tough.

29:21 There are people that are just born smart.

29:23 There are people that are just born athletic and then there are people that are just born

29:26 persuasive.

29:27 And that is something that some of you listening to this podcast have.

29:30 But I would say the overwhelming majority of people don't have this natural persuasive

29:34 ability inside their personality, right?

29:36 Maybe they're a little bit more introverted.

29:38 Maybe they just don't think as quickly on their feet, whatever the situation is.

29:41 But guys in the world that we're inheriting right now, persuasion is one of the most important

29:45 things that you can have in your arsenal.

29:48 Just think about it.

29:49 Just make up a context, right?

29:50 So you're trying to convince someone to vote for this candidate versus that candidate.

29:54 How do you do that?

29:58 By persuasion.

30:00 If you're wanting somebody to make this life change, they're doing this thing that is

30:03 harmful or detrimental to their life and you're wanting them to veer off that path and go

30:07 in a better path.

30:08 How do you convince them to do that?

30:10 Persuasion.

30:12 If you're talking to somebody through some of the harder parts of the Bible and you're

30:16 trying to explain to them how this is okay.

30:18 This is something that you can believe in.

30:19 This is why here are some of the, you know, theories around this here, some of the ways

30:22 that we think about this.

30:23 How do you help that person get to a place where they understand persuasion?

30:29 So I'm just flabbergasted at the amount of people that want to get on Twitter or get

30:34 on Facebook or, you know, go stand on the street corner, hold up a sign and just scream

30:39 their opinion.

30:41 This is what I think is right.

30:43 You're stupid because you think this way and I think this way.

30:46 So I'm right.

30:47 I'm so cool.

30:49 Look at me.

30:50 Look how smart I am.

30:51 Who are you changing with that, buddy?

30:55 Who's mind are you molding at that point because I just don't think you understand what you're

31:01 doing.

31:02 Now, I think some of those things are beneficial posting online, but I have people ask me all

31:05 the time, you know, someone will post a comment on an Instagram post or on a Facebook post

31:09 and it'll be negative and nasty and questioning my entire worldview.

31:12 And then I'll get a message, a direct message from somebody saying, Hey, man, why aren't

31:16 you owning this person?

31:17 Why aren't you just like throwing down with them or whatever?

31:19 And I was like, because I can't persuade them on social media that like the amount of time

31:24 and effort I would have to put into lovingly moving this person in the right direction and

31:29 changing their point of view is simply not worth it.

31:32 Like I don't have that amount of time to go back and forth with someone on Twitter over

31:35 three or four days.

31:37 It's just, it's just not something that I can do.

31:39 But for most of us, we live in a context where we have people that are in a room with us

31:44 or in a truck with us or, you know, in a church with us in a small group with us and you have

31:48 the ability to persuade them if you would just learn how to, right?

31:53 And there's plenty of resources out there and I don't necessarily want to give you ones

31:56 because I don't want to teach you in, you know, my way of persuasion or whatever.

32:00 But just do a little bit of research on how to persuade people, right?

32:03 You know, I guess you could read the 48 laws of power, right?

32:06 That is a very, very secular book by Robert Green.

32:08 But it's one of my favorite books ever because one of the things you're learning is how that

32:11 you can, you can move and mold people to do things.

32:14 The reason why I think it's such an amazing book is because you can use some of those

32:17 things for evil or you can use some of those things for good.

32:20 Some of those ways of persuading people, but guys, if you want to make change in your

32:24 community, if you want to make change in the immediacy of your life, if you suck at persuasion,

32:29 you need to fix it.

32:30 All right, guys.

32:31 The next way to avoid being a crappy man in 2022, and this one's pretty simple.

32:35 Get some sleep.

32:36 Bro, get some sleep.

32:39 I just got to tell you, I am so annoyed with these Instagram entrepreneurs that say, hey,

32:46 you sleeping more than five hours per night, well, somebody else is up and they're grind

32:51 and baby, right?

32:52 Or you know, you got Jocko willing.

32:53 He goes to sleep at midnight and he wakes up at four 30 and he's getting up and he's

32:57 getting some and he's getting after it and I get it.

32:59 It's cool.

33:00 I like the 430 watch posts on Instagram.

33:03 I think they're neat, but that is not reflective of a healthy life for the overwhelming majority

33:09 of the population.

33:11 So these dork CEOs that are like, yeah, I sleep three hours a night.

33:15 And then I just get after it for the other 21 hours, baby, right?

33:19 I'm just stacking money, getting cars, whatever, whatever.

33:24 That might work for them, but they are prime candidate for burnout because guys, there's

33:30 a reality here to getting sleep.

33:32 And again, I know I don't come poking fun at guys like Jocko.

33:35 There are people out there that genetically have the ability to get more recovery in less

33:40 amount of time with sleep.

33:41 They quote unquote sleep faster.

33:43 I know that's a real phenomenon, a biologically backed genetic or genetic phenomenon is genetic

33:48 or word.

33:49 Don't worry about it.

33:50 But that's the thing.

33:51 Most of us need sleep.

33:53 We need that time to recover.

33:56 And if you live in a household with other people, you need to help them get the same amount

34:00 of sleep.

34:01 You need to help them get a healthy amount of sleep.

34:03 Everybody can become slothful and sleep too much.

34:05 But here's a good for instance, last or yesterday, I'll look at yesterday, normally on Tuesdays,

34:09 I do deadlift and pull ups in the morning is probably the hardest lifting workout that

34:13 I do throughout my week.

34:14 And then I also do jujitsu in the evenings.

34:16 And so it's an hour and a half of drilling hard rounds.

34:18 There's not an easy round in the room.

34:20 It's just a brutal, brutal class.

34:22 So the next day, for the most part, I get more sleep than I would get on a normal night

34:27 because of the amount of output that I gave the day before.

34:30 You need to have the ability to get more recovery.

34:35 And most guys ignore that entirely that, you know, they maybe have their diet dialed

34:39 in, they maybe have, you know, their workout regimen dialed in, you know, they're really

34:43 good and after it.

34:44 But this amazing ability to rest and recover is one of the best things that you can do.

34:50 It's better than a massage.

34:51 It's better than a cold tub.

34:52 It's better than that little muscle thumper thing that you blow up your muscles with

34:56 that after a workout.

34:57 I get it.

34:58 But sleep is one of those things that you guys just have to get and most guys don't

35:01 focus on it.

35:02 Right?

35:03 I'm not a napper because I can't just fall asleep.

35:04 It takes me a half hour to fall asleep, right?

35:06 For the most part, but if you are not getting sleep, it is not doing you any benefit.

35:12 Stop listening to these idiots on Instagram that are, they're not doctors.

35:16 You know, they're not scientists.

35:17 They're not any of these people.

35:18 They don't know anything about sleep signs telling you that you just need to get up and

35:22 grind.

35:23 You need to sleep.

35:24 You need rest.

35:25 You need recovery.

35:26 So guys in 2022, get some sleep.

35:28 All right.

35:29 Next one here.

35:30 Red line at least once a week.

35:33 This is a new one and guys, this is, this is a really, really important one.

35:37 This may even attach to the one before it.

35:39 What I mean by red line is while you're working out.

35:42 So I'm assuming in this one that you're working out because if you've been listening to this

35:45 podcast for any length of time and you're just a couch potato, I don't know what else

35:48 I can do to convince you that that's not the way that you should be acting, you know, for

35:52 your own physical health, but also to serve and to, you know, honor a glorious and judgmental

35:57 father, right?

35:58 You know, heavenly father.

35:59 But when I say red line, I mean, at least once a week, you need to go to the point where

36:06 you feel like you've got nothing left in the tank.

36:10 So whether you're rolling in jujitsu, whether you're doing, you know, boxing rounds, whether

36:14 you're running sprints, whether you're running distance, you know, this typically works out.

36:19 I don't really like redlining in the context of lifting weights because that's kind of

36:22 the crossfit thing that leads to a lot of injuries where it's like, all right, you got

36:24 two minutes to do as many, you know, deadlifts of 225 as possible.

36:27 That's not how deadlifts are supposed to be done.

36:29 That is so stupid.

36:30 Right?

36:31 You're not trying to get as many reps as possible of these Olympic lifts.

36:33 It's the dumbest thing in the world.

36:35 Stop it, crossfit people.

36:36 Stop it.

36:37 It's not helping people.

36:38 But if you're doing these different workouts, pull in a sandbag, farmers carry, whatever,

36:43 red line, red line, go to that point where you're like, I had nothing left in the tank.

36:51 I could not have gone another step and guys focus on doing that at least once a week.

36:57 Because what you will see is that your red line will move farther away from you.

37:02 So let's just use sprinting as a context, right?

37:04 So let's say, cause one, one sprint workout that I do, it's kind of a warm up and then

37:08 my, my workout.

37:09 So I run 640 yard sprints.

37:11 I run 420 yard sprints, 410 yard sprints, and then I run 10 hundred yard sprints and

37:18 the gap in between the hundred yard sprints is a 30 second rest.

37:22 That's all the rest I get, okay?

37:24 But on my last rep, okay, so, so this is my last hundred.

37:29 What I typically do is I typically stretch it out to like 140, 150.

37:34 And my thing is is I'm trying to go completely balls out the whole time.

37:38 Cause when you run sprints, you know, it's hard at the very beginning, cause you're trying

37:40 to get things up.

37:41 But then around the 30, 40, 50 yard mark, you're just kind of, you know, just going through

37:44 the motions, you know, just one step in front of the other type of a thing.

37:47 And then maybe you turn it up at the end as you're getting towards the finish line, as

37:50 it were.

37:51 But I try to really go balls out the entire time from the time I go, right?

37:56 But I'm redlining in those moments.

37:58 And what I'm doing is on the subsequent weeks, when I do that workout, I'll push my distance

38:03 out a little bit further, right?

38:05 If I noticed last week that I kind of mentally, if I was being honest with myself, take took

38:09 a little bit of a physical break, right?

38:11 You know, in the middle of the sprint, I wasn't sprinting as hard as I could.

38:15 I'll make sure that I don't do that this time, that I'm really focusing on that part

38:18 of the sprint, that I don't actually wear down in that particular context.

38:22 But guys, I'm telling you, figure out ways to redline at least once a week.

38:26 It's going to be great for your cardio.

38:28 Your red line is going to be different than other people's red line, and that's okay.

38:32 You're at where you're at physically, but that's one way to know where you're at physically.

38:36 So I remember about a year ago, yeah, it was about a year ago.

38:40 We did 100 burpees in our fight club in our foxhole workout, and it was a hundred burpees

38:45 for time.

38:47 And so it was go as hard as you possibly can to get as many burpees done as possible.

38:52 No breaks, no big breaths at the top.

38:54 Just go, go, go, one rep after another.

38:57 And I did 100 burpees in four minutes and 59 seconds.

38:59 My goal was five minutes, and I mean, literally barely got under it.

39:04 And then I got up and I was going to go for a walk to kind of cool down, didn't have the

39:07 ability to go for a walk.

39:08 I literally sat right back down, went back, flat on my back, and just tried to breathe.

39:14 I completely redlined and it was amazing.

39:19 And I've subsequently done that.

39:20 I'll red line at jujitsu.

39:21 I'll do another round and another round and another round.

39:23 And it's just like, man, I couldn't fathom doing another round.

39:26 It's going to be so good for you overall physically.

39:28 Now the one caveat I would say is guys, if you have heart issues or if you have any

39:32 other health issues, that would maybe make redlining a very, very dangerous thing.

39:36 I would say listen to your doctor, but otherwise for the overwhelming majority of you that

39:39 are safe and healthy and can do those things, push yourself, red line at least once a week.

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40:14 All right, guys, the next one here is give the person in front of you your full attention.

40:19 Give the person in front of you your full attention.

40:22 So one thing that I noticed, you know, back in the day when I was doing, you know, different

40:24 types of jobs and everything like that, I would have meetings all the time.

40:26 So coffee shops, you know, come to come by my office.

40:28 Hey, you come by my office and you're sitting with people and you're doing business over

40:31 45 minutes, hour and a half, whatever the situation is.

40:34 And it was astonishing to me.

40:36 The number of people that would look at their phones, you know, look at their Apple watches,

40:42 anytime they got a ding or a buzz.

40:45 It's like brother and I called some people out in meetings because after they do it about

40:49 three or four times, I'm like, Hey, do you need to go?

40:52 Is there something you need to do?

40:53 Is there an emergency that you need to tend to?

40:56 And 100 times out of 100, no, the answer is no, there's not somebody on their deathbed.

41:00 You know, their kid didn't just fall off a cliff.

41:02 They're just sucked into what's going on on the phone.

41:06 They're sucked into that little dopamine hit to see what happened.

41:09 You know, they're sucked into the world of FOMO.

41:11 They're wondering, is this the text I've been waiting for my entire life?

41:14 I should probably check it, right?

41:17 It is so unbelievably rude when you do that.

41:21 Because when you're sitting in front of a person or when you're talking to somebody and you're

41:25 maybe looking around at other people, like if you've ever been in a social setting or

41:28 something like that, and you got the person that's talking to you and they're looking

41:30 around for the other person that they maybe want to talk to, just walk away.

41:34 Let them do it.

41:35 I remember when I was invited into this, this, it was a real estate company and I was invited

41:39 in to give them some sales training, like some, you know, some questioning strategies

41:43 and things like that.

41:44 And there was a guy that was, oh gosh, looking at his watch and looking at his phone, doing

41:47 all these things.

41:48 And right in the middle of us doing the training, I just kind of turn to this guy and go, buddy,

41:51 if you need to go, you can go.

41:53 If this is of no value to you, like that's fine.

41:56 But you're being rude to everyone else in here that is perceiving you as not being interested

42:01 and not giving this your full attention.

42:03 You're not going to offend me one bit, get out of here.

42:06 Go do something else that you find is important and pertinent for your life.

42:09 Go, go.

42:10 Just get out of here.

42:11 I don't care.

42:13 But if you're sitting in front of somebody, guys, give that person your full attention.

42:18 Turn your phone on silent and put it in your bag, set it on the table, face down, right?

42:24 Take your watch off for the love of God.

42:26 How many of you actually need that Apple watch?

42:29 How many of you need the ding to be on your wrist when it already dinged in your pocket?

42:33 Who needs that?

42:35 Like for the one of you that needs it to, you know, get your heart rate for whatever

42:38 reason or to, you know, track your sleep, the rest of you are doing it just so you can

42:42 more quickly get to the notification.

42:44 I don't get it.

42:45 I don't understand it.

42:46 You need to give the people in front of you your absolute full attention.

42:50 They deserve it and you would want the same.

42:54 It's so funny to me when people, you know, when they are really interested in the conversation

42:58 or the business meeting or something like that and the other person is looking at their phone

43:02 or looking at their computer and you can tell they're looking at their email or whatever

43:05 and then they get offended.

43:06 It's like, brother, you do that all the time in meetings that you don't find very important.

43:11 But if somebody is giving you their time, the only thing they can't get back in this world,

43:16 they can get back money, they can get back jobs, they can get back prestige.

43:19 They can't get back their time.

43:22 If someone's in front of you giving their time to you, give them your full attention.

43:25 They deserve it.

43:26 All right, guys, the next way to avoid being a crappy man in 2022 is relish the opportunity

43:31 to look like an idiot, seriously relish the opportunity to look like an idiot.

43:36 So I think it was back in 2019, I said something along the lines of, you know, don't pretend

43:40 to know something that you that you don't know or something like that, but that is a really

43:44 big problem for dudes is we will pretend that we know what we're talking about.

43:50 So maybe everyone's around and maybe you haven't really shot very much in your life and everyone's

43:54 kind of loading up their magazines and, you know, getting everything ready.

43:57 We're going to the range or we're at the range and we're getting everything squared away.

44:00 And here you are and you're, you don't know what's happening.

44:03 You don't know the difference between an upper and a lower on an AR.

44:06 You don't know what AR stands for.

44:08 You really don't know the caliber of the weapon you're using.

44:11 You don't know the proper way to hold the gun or the firearm.

44:13 You're like, it's a problem for you.

44:16 Why wouldn't you just ask someone for help relish the opportunity because you're giving

44:23 someone else the opportunity to help you understand something that you don't know?

44:27 How do you think they got to the point where they would be able to do these things that

44:31 you don't know how to do someone else showed them or they figured it out.

44:36 They were an idiot about a particular thing.

44:39 And then over time and with training and with focus, they became less of an idiot in that

44:43 area.

44:44 And that applies to everything growing a business, starting a business, doing a podcast, reading

44:50 a book, building a table, working on electrical stuff at the house.

44:54 And I just got to tell you guys, and I tell you this all the time because I check a lot

44:58 of the typical man boxes, right?

45:00 So if you think of cultural manhood, you know, I eat meat, I like to fight, I like drinking

45:04 whiskey, smoking cigars, driving four wheel drive trucks, like that kind of thing.

45:08 But one thing I'm not is very handy.

45:11 A lot of times when there's kind of a big project, a construction project, I want to

45:14 be the guy that's fetching, you know, the concrete or moving the heavy thing or whatever.

45:19 Like the idiot work, the dumb guy work, like if you're going to be dumb, you got to be

45:22 tough kind of a thing.

45:24 That's where I normally work the best at.

45:26 So I really struggle with fixing things, right?

45:29 When I look at something, like some people can look at a pile of wood and see a coffee

45:34 table, right?

45:36 I look at a pile of wood and I go, what's that pile of wood doing here, right?

45:40 That's just how some people's brains work.

45:42 They can think through the tools that they have and the skillsets they have to make something

45:46 out of nothing, but I do that in a different way because that guy that can look at a pile

45:51 of wood and see a coffee table, could he look at a stack of books and see how to make a

45:55 30 minute presentation?

45:58 Because that's something that I'm good at.

45:59 That's something that I do every week on this podcast.

46:02 I take all this information and I try to put it together in a narrative for you.

46:06 That's my skill set.

46:07 It's not their skill set, but in the world of Mandum, I guess their skill set is considered

46:12 more valuable and that's totally fine.

46:14 So in a situation when I need to build a coffee table, I need to talk to that guy.

46:18 I need to not pretend like I know what's happening, what all the tools do and what they're called.

46:23 And I just need to say, hey, man, I need some help here.

46:26 And if he needed to do a presentation, something that's outside of his wheelhouse, I would

46:29 expect him to come to me and ask for help.

46:32 And I can help him through that situation.

46:34 And the way this all kind of trickles down is for your sons, and I guess for your daughters

46:38 as well, but I'm looking mainly at sons that you're trying to usher into manhood.

46:42 Isn't it an awesome thing when your son can see daddy, who's the strongest guy they know

46:47 and the most brave guy they know and the smartest guy and the best guy that they know, asking

46:54 for help from other men?

46:57 So I've got a dude in my life, his name's Zach.

46:59 He's a Mr. Fix it.

47:00 He knows how to fix things.

47:01 At some point in my life with my first son, James and baby Elijah that's coming here in

47:06 a few months in Lord willing, the thing that'll be so cool is daddy's going to have something

47:11 in the house that is broken that he doesn't know how to fix.

47:14 And daddy's going to call Zach and Zach's going to come over and Zach's going to help

47:18 teach daddy how to fix the thing.

47:20 And so baby James or baby Elijah will see that and see that, you know, my daddy's still

47:26 awesome.

47:27 My daddy's still really smart.

47:28 My daddy's really tough.

47:29 My dad's really all these things.

47:30 But you know what he found a moment where he, you know, I guess was an idiot.

47:33 He didn't know how to fix the thing.

47:35 So he brought someone in that can help him fix the thing or they're going to see daddy

47:38 figure out a way to fix the thing, watching YouTube videos or maybe calling dad on the

47:42 phone saying, Hey, I got this problem.

47:44 I was thinking about doing this bubble block and taking instruction from other people,

47:48 whether digitally or over the phone or otherwise, right.

47:51 But for so many guys, we pretend, we pretend we know about the car.

47:54 We pretend we know about the firearm.

47:56 We pretend we know about the history, whatever the situation is, just stop it.

48:01 It's lying.

48:02 It's a form of lying relish the opportunity to get better for somebody else to help you

48:06 get better.

48:07 It's going to be 22 relish the opportunity to look like an idiot.

48:10 All right, guys.

48:11 The next one here and this one's really important.

48:13 Read the Bible for yourself.

48:15 I think it was back in 2020, I think I said, you know, read the Bible.

48:19 That was like the main crescendo point, but read the Bible for yourself.

48:23 So one thing that I noticed about me is I was allowing other people to read the Bible for

48:27 me, whether that be pastors that I follow on Instagram or, you know, pastors that I listen

48:33 to on podcast or my pastor at my church that I go to.

48:37 They're reading the Bible for me and then telling me what I should get out of it.

48:41 But I wasn't reading it for myself.

48:43 So that's a change that I've made here even recently.

48:46 So for a lot of you guys, that's my encouragement to you.

48:49 You want to be more biblically sound.

48:50 You want to make better biblical arguments.

48:53 You want to know more about the things of God.

48:56 You want to know more.

48:58 You want to be closer and have a better relationship with God with the triune God of the universe,

49:03 all those things.

49:04 The best way to do that is probably through Bible reading, you can make an argument for

49:08 prayer as well, but I'm focusing on reading the Bible for yourself.

49:13 Now that's more difficult, right?

49:15 So I've got here next to me, I've got a study Bible, okay?

49:19 So for a lot of you guys, some of you guys have this, but it's the English standard version

49:23 study Bible.

49:24 And so there's the scripture in here, which is obviously the main part, but then at the

49:28 bottoms, there is the commentary.

49:31 So you can literally read through, I literally just opened it up to Job 21.

49:35 You can read through Job 21, and then you can look at how it's breaking down particular

49:39 parts of scripture.

49:41 Some people don't like doing commentary because they're like, that's not the word of God.

49:44 But if you read something and you don't understand it, you need help.

49:46 It goes back to the thing before, you know, you're an idiot on this thing and you need

49:49 to not be an idiot.

49:50 So relish in the opportunity to learn for someone to be able to help you, right?

49:54 And so when you read the Bible for yourself, it becomes much more of a task oriented thing,

49:59 but that's a positive.

50:01 So if you're just burning through the Bible and you're like, I'm just kind of reading

50:04 it, you know, brain dead, that doesn't lead to self study.

50:08 But if you're reading the Bible in something like a study Bible, or you have some sort

50:11 of a commentary next to you, or you're going through some sort of devotional that's pulling

50:14 certain things out of the scripture that you may be otherwise would not have noticed,

50:18 that's a positive thing for you.

50:19 But that's not something you're going to get.

50:21 If you let someone else do that for you, like it's kind of one of those things.

50:25 You want to be in shape, you can't get your buddy to work out for you, right?

50:29 If your buddy runs 10 miles a day, that doesn't help your cardio.

50:33 The same is true is if somebody else reads the Bible and tries to impart that wisdom

50:37 on you, it's not going to be the same.

50:39 It's positive.

50:40 You can learn things from other people.

50:42 As I've said, you know, multiple times on this podcast, but you need to do the work

50:45 yourself.

50:46 If you want to be more adept and more mature in your biblical understanding of things,

50:50 whether it's just the stories or the theological underpinnings, you have to do it yourself.

50:55 So guys, in 2022, read the Bible for yourself.

50:58 All right, guys, just a few more left here.

51:00 Next one.

51:01 Figure out what's going on locally.

51:04 So, as a lot of you guys noticed, in 2021 and back to even 2020, with COVID lockdowns

51:09 and all these different measures, you had no idea what was going on in your local communities.

51:14 No clue.

51:16 You didn't know who the mayor was.

51:17 You didn't know who was on the school board.

51:19 You didn't know that the sheriff, you know, was a bad guy.

51:21 You didn't know any of these things because you were either completely disengaged or you

51:26 were engaged in federal politics that don't directly affect you nearly as much as local

51:31 politics.

51:32 Right?

51:33 We've all bought into the lie that politics is not local anymore, that it's the guy that

51:37 or gal that we want in the White House.

51:39 That is the be all end all, okay?

51:42 That is what we need to focus on.

51:44 That is how we're going to get to where we need to get to.

51:46 That is how we're going to be able to develop and how we're going to be able to improve

51:49 our lives is getting that person we want in the White House in the White House.

51:53 But we don't focus on what's going on around us because whether Trump was in the White

51:58 House or Biden or somebody else, if you live in a community that saw your business as non-essential

52:05 and that it needed to be shut down or that we're going to affect your business by not

52:09 allowing people to come in unless they wear a mask or whatever the situation is of COVID's

52:13 kind of the easiest example here that affects you directly, brother, that affects your business

52:18 and affects your bottom line and affects your net worth.

52:22 So you need to know what's going on around you.

52:25 Same thing with school boards.

52:27 Yeah, these people that all of a sudden they're looking at Zoom school and they're overhearing

52:32 some of the things that these teachers, these state employees are teaching their children,

52:36 not really teaching them and indoctrinating them into, whether it be the array of LGBTQ

52:40 issues or talking to them about race or talking to them about sexuality, talking about all

52:45 these things that aren't math, science, English, and they had no idea.

52:52 And then whenever they pull back, pull the thread a little bit, it's like, oh, this is

52:55 coming top down from the school board.

52:57 Oh, and from this school board, they're a part of this national school board that is

53:01 saying all this information needs to go through all their different subsequent school boards.

53:06 They had no idea.

53:07 They had no idea.

53:09 They were worried about Trump's Twitter.

53:10 They were worried about Joe Biden pooping his pants.

53:12 They weren't worried about what was happening in their own kids' schools.

53:15 And I did a bunch of episodes last year, guys, a bunch of episodes on this exact subject

53:20 about how if you want to make change in your local school board, as for instance, you better

53:24 come ready to go.

53:27 You better come strapped and ready.

53:28 And I don't mean that literally, guys, I'm not calling for violence.

53:31 I'm saying like from an emotional mental standpoint, you need to be equipped.

53:34 That's why we add on to life, we equip men to push back darkness by giving you information,

53:39 giving you the courage, whatever those things are that you need in that situation.

53:42 But if you don't know what's going on in your, what's going on in your local community,

53:46 you're not going to be very good in the fight.

53:48 You're not going to be very effective, right?

53:50 Because unless these people resign, let's use a school board example again, unless these

53:53 people resign outside of term, you're going to have to wait until the next term to try

53:57 and get somebody in there that is ideologically better for what you want for that community

54:01 and for that situation.

54:03 Are you prepared to do that?

54:04 Do you even know the name of your mayor?

54:08 Do you know when they were elected?

54:10 Do you know when the next mayoral race will be going on?

54:13 Do you know any of those things?

54:15 All those things are important.

54:16 So guys, in 2022, focus on and figure out what's going on locally.

54:21 Don't worry about national, internationally, nearly as much.

54:24 All right, guys, the next one here, the next way to avoid being a crappy man in 2022 is

54:29 to learn to fight, learn to fight.

54:32 And this is where I'm being literal.

54:35 I don't mean learn to fight and learn to fight back and learn to bad, bad, bad, bad.

54:38 And like all these things people do like gin themselves up.

54:40 I mean, physically learn how to use your body to do physical damage to another human being.

54:48 Learn to fight.

54:50 I have so many guys, especially in Christian circles that are at least pacifists in ideology.

54:57 They think if they have to put hands on somebody that that's somehow wrong, even sinful that

55:02 they would need to do that.

55:04 But the scenario, let's use an extreme scenario.

55:07 You're walking on a street in a downtown area.

55:09 You look down an alleyway and you see a woman being sexually assaulted, raped, it would

55:15 be sinful of you to not intercede in that moment physically.

55:20 Just a couple of months ago, I did an episode on the modern bystander effect where we see

55:24 these people that are watching people being beaten on subway cars, not doing anything.

55:29 Men not doing anything where women are being violently raped on a train car and people

55:35 are just standing around, some of them pulling out their phones and filming, right?

55:38 There's been some people that are like, oh, that didn't actually happen.

55:40 It happened, right?

55:42 These people did not intercede when a violent rape was going on in Philadelphia for, I think

55:46 it was 20-something train stops.

55:48 Think about how long a time that is.

55:50 Nobody physically interceded.

55:52 For the most part, a lot of men are not physically interceding because they don't know how to

55:56 fight.

55:57 So they don't have the confidence in those situations.

55:59 Some guys are born with, and I talked about people that are born with certain things.

56:02 Some guys are just, from the moment they come out, they know how to throw hands, right?

56:08 They know how to be physically violent.

56:10 They know how to point their head in a certain direction of danger and sprint in that direction

56:15 until the dust settles, right?

56:17 That's just who they are.

56:18 Most people aren't that way.

56:19 I'm not that way.

56:20 I wasn't born that way, but I will tell you, training jujitsu for four and a half years

56:25 now, right?

56:26 Working on five years of training jujitsu, working on training Muay Thai and training,

56:30 you know, kickboxing and all those different things.

56:32 I am much more comfortable if a fight were to happen than I would have been beforehand

56:37 because I've always been a, you know, a decent athlete.

56:39 I've been a decently big guy.

56:40 I'm a decently strong guy, but that doesn't really come into effect when someone else

56:44 knows how to fight and you don't, you know, I was talking to someone before and I think

56:47 I've talked about this on the podcast.

56:49 You know, this buddy asked me, he's like, Hey, who would win in a fight between Nate Diaz

56:52 and the rock?

56:53 So Nate Diaz at the time was fighting at 155 pounds.

56:55 The rock is 300 pounds of steroided monster goo goo and like, you know, I said, Oh, Nate

57:00 Diaz wins that a hundred times out of a hundred.

57:02 They're like, no way.

57:03 The rock's so big.

57:04 And he's so whatever.

57:05 And he's so strong.

57:06 He's like, he spent 20 years of his life fake fighting on television, right?

57:11 I'm sure that's of some value, but Nate Diaz knows how to be marshal.

57:15 He knows how to actually hurt somebody to bring physical pain to them to end a fight,

57:20 whether through punching somebody or through choking them out, right?

57:23 But for a lot of you guys, you're needing that last little nudge and this is it.

57:29 There's a jujitsu gym near your house.

57:32 Join it.

57:34 We can worry about, you know, their affiliations and who their black belt is and, you know,

57:38 how they learned all these things and all that we can, we can deal with that later.

57:41 You need to start training.

57:44 There's a boxing gym in your area.

57:45 Start training.

57:46 You know, you're, you're getting online to BJJ fanatics and you're buying the John Donner

57:49 her videos and you're training at home with a dummy or with a neighbor train.

57:55 Learn to fight.

57:56 This is not something that is outside of the realm of Christianity because again, we have

58:00 so many examples from scripture of men that are pushing back darkness with their bodies

58:06 physically by doing harm to others, right?

58:10 Because when there's darkness happening in your world and you don't know how to respond,

58:14 and I guess this could extend a concealed carry and, you know, learning how to knife

58:18 fight and all those different things, but in situations where darkness is being done,

58:22 there needs to be a sheepdog that can respond.

58:25 And if you are untrained, you will not respond well.

58:29 You will fall to the level of your training, right?

58:33 So maybe your concealed carry guy that's never shot his firearm.

58:37 You've never gone to the range.

58:39 You've never worked pulling it from the holster and acquiring a target and engaging that target.

58:44 You've never worried about trigger discipline.

58:46 You don't even know what that is, right?

58:49 That's a problem.

58:50 You think you're going to be able to respond.

58:51 You'll think you'll rise to the occasion and big athletic guys always think that.

58:55 It's like, Oh man, I don't need to learn how to fight.

58:57 I'm enormous.

58:58 Look how big I am.

58:59 Look how tough I am, right?

59:01 You will fall to the level of your training.

59:03 So in 2022, again, don't do something stupid.

59:06 Don't, you know, go to an Akido gym or karate or, you know, wing chung or any of this bull

59:10 crap that doesn't actually work jujitsu wrestling, Western boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai in 2022.

59:16 Learn to fight.

59:17 All right guys.

59:18 The last one I've got for you, the last way to avoid being a crappy man in 2022.

59:22 This is not an exhaustive list, but I think I've given you enough to really dip it, you

59:25 know, chew on and kind of look at the last thing I would say to you is be dependable.

59:29 And I guess you could even say be reliable, but I'm just going to say be dependable.

59:36 There are so many people in your life and all the focus mainly on the men, right?

59:39 There are so many men in your life that are just flat out, not dependable.

59:44 And this goes back to my how to build a godly and mainly foxhole series that we released

59:47 last summer.

59:48 You don't have a three AM person in your life because you're surrounded by men that aren't

59:53 dependable.

59:54 Now that's kind of a big time scenario that I talked about, you know, three o'clock in

59:58 the morning, your world's completely falling apart or you got a body that needs to be buried

1:00:01 and you, you call a bunch of people and nobody answers their phone.

1:00:04 There's nobody there for you.

1:00:05 There are a bunch of six PM friends.

1:00:07 They're not three AM friends, right?

1:00:08 But part of that is because those people individually are not dependable.

1:00:13 So that's kind of a big macro example.

1:00:15 Let's kind of bring it into smaller examples, right?

1:00:18 Somebody asks you to be somewhere at a certain time and you don't show up on time.

1:00:22 You're late.

1:00:23 So when asks you to help them with a project, right?

1:00:27 And you have to get your part done before they can do their part and you don't do your

1:00:30 part so they can't do their part.

1:00:33 So when asked you, brother, I need, I need you to pray for me, right?

1:00:36 I really need your help.

1:00:38 I really need you to intercede for me.

1:00:40 We've got some crap going on and you don't do it.

1:00:43 You're not dependable person.

1:00:45 Now I would say a lot of dudes have grace in relationships.

1:00:49 They will allow people to not be dependable for the significant links of time, right?

1:00:53 It's just something that they're, you know, ah, you know, that's just how they are.

1:00:56 That's just how Tom is.

1:00:57 I, you know, Tom, he just never getting things done and never doing the things that he needs

1:01:00 to do at the time.

1:01:01 He needs to do them, right?

1:01:02 And they just kind of let it go.

1:01:05 But the thing is is that person categorically now is not dependable.

1:01:10 That's a person that when things are going right or things are going wrong in your life,

1:01:14 you can't look to them as somebody that you could get help from or even help because they

1:01:19 just aren't dependable.

1:01:21 They're not a reliable source of anything in their life.

1:01:24 So you can't focus on them necessarily because you can't change them.

1:01:29 That's not something you can control.

1:01:31 And as, you know, one of my good buddies and, you know, legendary wrestling coach here in

1:01:35 this area, Hard Elmore says all the time, control the controllables, control the controllables.

1:01:40 You can't control how much the other kid you're competing against trained.

1:01:43 You can control how much you trained.

1:01:45 You can't control their level of preparation.

1:01:47 You can control your level of preparation, okay?

1:01:50 So for a lot of guys, work on being dependable yourself.

1:01:55 Let's say you were the guy that was always late.

1:01:58 Fix that.

1:01:59 Let's say you're the guy that never really follows through, right?

1:02:01 Oh, you're the guy that gets a lot of things started, but never follows through.

1:02:04 That means you're not dependable, brother, and you need to fix that because what all these

1:02:08 things come down to and I guess I wasn't really intending to go this way, but it's just I'm

1:02:11 kind of feeling it feeling the mojo right now.

1:02:13 Maybe it's the Holy Spirit, but a lot of times for guys, God's going to call you to something

1:02:19 and he's not going to give you time to prepare or to train.

1:02:23 He's calling you and he's calling you now.

1:02:27 Probably one of the best examples I come to mind is Nehemiah.

1:02:29 When you read the first four chapters in Nehemiah, Nehemiah goes in front of the king and he

1:02:32 asks, you know, to go back to, you know, Israel and, you know, rebuild the walls and, you

1:02:37 know, do this whole thing.

1:02:38 And, you know, there's, there's a whole lot to that story and a whole lot of great parts

1:02:41 of that story.

1:02:42 But the thing was, is when he finally revealed why he was in town, right, and it was to rebuild

1:02:47 the walls and to fix the thing and to give people basically their, their courage back

1:02:51 and their, their fortitude back and all that, he didn't say, okay guys, we're going to rebuild

1:02:56 the walls.

1:02:57 Right.

1:02:58 We're going to rebuild the city gates.

1:02:59 But we're going to take 60 days where we're going to go through some training.

1:03:03 All right.

1:03:04 We're going to get our, we're going to get our cardio up because this is going to be

1:03:07 really, really hard work.

1:03:08 And also there's going to be people that are going to be trying to tear the wall down and

1:03:11 trying to stop what we're doing.

1:03:12 So we're going to have, you know, a hammer in one hand, but we're going to have to have

1:03:16 our sword and the other.

1:03:17 So we're going to have to train, you know, to get that in shape so that you can, you

1:03:20 can work in both ways and, you know, we got some people working over here, but no, it's

1:03:25 like, all right guys, this is what we're doing.

1:03:27 Work starts now.

1:03:30 There's no time to prepare.

1:03:31 There's no time for training.

1:03:33 The time is now.

1:03:35 God called him to do something.

1:03:37 He was already capable of doing that because he was prepared.

1:03:40 These people that were working on the walls, right, you know, in the book of Nehemiah, you

1:03:44 know, which is a historical thing that actually happened.

1:03:47 These people didn't stop what they were doing in their normal lives to go train to get ready.

1:03:51 So a lot of people will kind of push back on the fact that I focus so much on physicality

1:03:54 and physical resilience and all those things.

1:03:56 They're like, oh, so you can't be a good Christian unless you have a six pack.

1:03:59 Oh, I don't see that in the Bible anywhere, dude.

1:04:02 That's not it.

1:04:04 What if God is requiring something of you for the betterment of his kingdom that requires

1:04:10 you to be physically in shape and you're not in shape?

1:04:16 That's sinful.

1:04:18 God's calling you to do something in obedience to him and you don't do it because you can't,

1:04:23 right?

1:04:24 And think of, I don't care what the scenario is.

1:04:26 It's like, oh, maybe you need you to go to this village area, you know, in Africa, like,

1:04:30 and you, you know, you have to walk five miles a day just to get where you need to go.

1:04:33 And you haven't taken care of yourself for the last 30 years.

1:04:36 And so five miles of walking is a death sentence, so you can't go on the trip.

1:04:40 How is that beneficial?

1:04:43 God's putting something on your heart to start a business that's going to help, you know,

1:04:46 fix some, you know, broken things in your community, but you're not a dependable guy.

1:04:51 You're not a reliable guy, right?

1:04:53 You've never relished the opportunity to look like an idiot so that you could learn, right?

1:04:57 You don't get sleep, right?

1:04:58 You seek, you know, narrative over truth, like you can't persuade anyone to do anything.

1:05:03 All right, you have probably said already, but you're late all the time, right?

1:05:06 You're too busy looking at porn and jerking off.

1:05:08 And now you can't do the thing that God's requiring of you.

1:05:11 You can't be obedient.

1:05:12 Okay.

1:05:13 So guys, I know this is a little bit of, you know, a hard thing for some of you to hear

1:05:17 because I'm sure as I went through this list of however many 14 or 15 of these, you saw

1:05:21 something that was glaring in you that you were missing.

1:05:25 And maybe you're offended by that.

1:05:26 Maybe you didn't like the way that I described it.

1:05:28 Maybe you're like, oh, that's really cocky of you to say these things.

1:05:31 Guys, I have to work on these things as well.

1:05:33 I'm not just making a, here's a list of the 15 things Kyle's really good at, right?

1:05:38 That's not the list.

1:05:39 These are ways to avoid being a crappy man.

1:05:42 And I don't hear any good arguments.

1:05:43 I didn't for the other two episodes that I did where it's like, oh, these aren't the

1:05:46 right things.

1:05:47 You know, there might be some things that you would have added to the list or things that

1:05:50 you would have taken off, but the idea is to use this as an actionable list as you move

1:05:54 forward into 2022 on ways that you can be better overall.

1:05:59 You will appreciate the people around you will appreciate it and it's what God requires

1:06:02 of you.

1:06:03 All right, guys, before we go, we are going to do a quick resilience boost at Undaunted

1:06:06 Life.

1:06:07 Our mission is equipping men to push back darkness with content that forges spiritual, mental

1:06:11 and physical resilience.

1:06:12 So here are the links I've got for you today.

1:06:13 I've already mentioned the Undaunted Life devotionals and the 100 books every modern

1:06:17 Christian man should read lists.

1:06:18 I've got the links here, but I've also got links to episode 56 and episode 112, right?

1:06:22 And I went into other ways to avoid being a crappy man.

1:06:24 And that would have been back in 2019 and 2020.

1:06:27 All right, guys.

1:06:28 Thanks so much for listening to the podcast.

1:06:29 I certainly appreciate it.

1:06:30 Wherever you're listening to this, please subscribe, rate and leave us a five star positive

1:06:34 review.

1:06:35 If you want to come speak live at your event or on your podcast, just shoot me an email

1:06:38 to info at undaunted.life.

1:06:40 That's I N F O at undaunted.life.

1:06:43 You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok and like us on Facebook.

1:06:46 You can also check out our website for everything else, including how to donate to keep more

1:06:49 content like this coming your way, just go to www dot undaunted.life.

1:06:54 And also we want to thank the band August Burns Red for allowing us to use their music

1:06:57 for our content.

1:06:58 The music on this podcast is our song, cutting the ties, which is off their 10th anniversary

1:07:02 re-recording of their album, Leveler.

1:07:04 The links are in the description.

1:07:06 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.

1:07:09 Remember, keep pushing back darkness, keep forging spiritual, mental and physical resilience.

1:07:16 Keep seeking the lion of Judah.

1:07:17 I love thy land, there's a heart in life, where all you want is our side, it's a place, and it's a virtue. You will be revived.