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1:00
This is on DAWS at Life of Man's podcast.
1:13
I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
1:14
Let's get into it.
1:15
All right, guys.
1:16
Welcome to 2020.
1:17
You made it.
1:18
You made it all the way here.
1:19
You made it to a new decade.
1:20
And thank you so much for being with us for the first podcast of the year.
1:23
So we're going to follow the same theme that we did last year.
1:26
So if you've been with us with the podcast for any length of time,
1:29
you can go all the way back to episode 56 of this podcast.
1:32
It was called the top 15 ways to avoid being a crappy man in 2019.
1:37
Yes, all the way back a year ago, I gave you guys some tips
1:40
as to what you think would be a good idea for you.
1:43
Just like really good operating things for you
1:47
in terms of what you're going to do for that year.
1:50
Because there's a lot of things to consider.
1:51
There's a lot of things to get good at.
1:52
There's a lot of things that you can potentially do and focus on.
1:55
I know I'd be thinking to yourself, gosh, 15 things.
1:57
But if you go back to that podcast I talked about, well, hey,
2:00
you're probably not going to be able to crush it in all of these areas.
2:03
But maybe you can pull out a few that you really need to work on.
2:05
Some of these you're maybe already good at as we may see going forward.
2:09
But for those of you that didn't listen to that podcast one,
2:11
I would obviously expect you to go back and listen to episode 56 of this podcast
2:15
to get it in its full glory.
2:17
But I will go ahead and give you the list here.
2:19
So I did 15 down to one.
2:21
We'll do a little bit differently this year.
2:22
We'll get into that here in just a second.
2:23
But number 15 last year was don't pretend you know about something that you don't.
2:27
So maybe someone says, hey, do you know how to do this?
2:30
Or do you know this person and you pretend like you do?
2:32
When you do that, not only are you lying,
2:34
you're kind of missing out on an opportunity to potentially learn something.
2:37
Number 14 was don't cancel on people last minute.
2:40
So that's kind of a bugaboo with what I do on a day to day.
2:43
If you cancel on somebody two minutes before you're supposed to be there,
2:46
they can't replace that appointment or that meeting or that time
2:49
that they were going to be spending with you.
2:50
So don't be that person that canceled last minute,
2:52
especially when it's not for an emergency.
2:54
Number 13 was don't let sports ruin your night.
2:57
And I did a lot more on that.
2:59
I did an episode called the altar of sports that you can go back and listen to that.
3:01
I think it was a couple of months ago.
3:03
But basically a lot of guys and me especially growing up,
3:06
I haven't been doing this for the last several years,
3:08
but I would let sports ruin my night.
3:10
I would let the results of an Oklahoma City Thunder game
3:12
or a St. Louis Cardinals game or just a college football game ruin my night
3:16
and maybe even ruin part of my week, right?
3:18
And so it's don't let sports ruin your night if you can control it.
3:20
Number 12 was don't be late again.
3:22
If you're a late person, if you're constantly late,
3:25
you're not just someone that's late.
3:26
You're actually a really, really rude person.
3:28
So there's no such thing as insert your last name time, right?
3:32
Someone's like, oh, I'm on, you know, Smith time,
3:34
or I'm on whatever time, that's not a real thing.
3:37
You're either on time or you're late.
3:38
Number 11 was stop looking at porn and jerking off.
3:41
I don't know that I need to necessarily go into much more explanation on that one.
3:44
Number 10, don't just think about it, do slash say it.
3:48
So there's a lot of times you get a positive comment in your head.
3:51
Maybe about something that your wife's done and you want to say thank you,
3:53
but maybe you just get a little busy or there's a friend of yours
3:56
that is doing something really good in business and you want to kind of
3:58
give them some accolades or, you know, reach out to them and you just don't do it.
4:01
That's just your encouragement to actually do that.
4:03
Number nine was don't assume that your goals will achieve themselves.
4:07
Again, this is that time of year where everyone's like, new year, new me.
4:10
Here's my goals.
4:10
I'm going to focus on me and I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to do this.
4:13
I'm going to do that.
4:14
The thing about it is most people just, even if they write down goals,
4:17
which a lot of guys don't, which we've talked about that as well.
4:20
Most of the guys that write down goals, they just don't even revisit them.
4:23
They don't come back to them at all, which is really interesting.
4:25
So the assumption that if you write down the goals that they will all of a sudden
4:28
take care of themselves is a little bit silly.
4:30
Number eight is take male community seriously.
4:33
And I don't want to take too much of my thunder because we are going to talk about
4:36
that a lot more here in this podcast.
4:37
Number seven is train jujitsu.
4:39
So you hear me talk about jujitsu all the time.
4:42
I'm imploring you to train that.
4:43
Number six was read. That's it, just read. Most of you guys don't read.
4:48
We'll certainly talk more about that here in just a second, but just reading.
4:51
That was a big thing for last year.
4:53
Number five is stop being a dick to your wife.
4:55
For those of you that are married, I know a lot of guys that you don't even intend to be
4:58
that way to your wife, but it's just something that you do.
5:00
So it's focusing on stopping doing that.
5:03
Number four is prioritize your wife over your kids.
5:06
Again, prioritize your wife over your kids.
5:10
A lot of you guys, whenever you get kids in the picture,
5:12
everything focuses around them, even after they can kind of take care of themselves,
5:16
you're, you're putting so much focus into the kids.
5:19
And then, you know, 20, 25 years down the road,
5:21
when you're done raising your kids, you realize, oh, there's this roommate person
5:24
that I've been coexisting with and not focusing on.
5:26
So prioritizing your wife over your kids is really important.
5:29
Number three, be precise in your speech.
5:32
So there are words that you should not really use in normal vernacular.
5:35
You shouldn't say things like, uh, um, uh, you know, I, I should be able to do that.
5:40
Or I might be able to make it or that could work out.
5:43
When you say things like that, I don't know what you mean.
5:45
So if I say, hey, are you going to be at my house at 10 o'clock?
5:48
I'm like, yeah, yeah, I should be there.
5:49
So you coming should, should I expect you at my house?
5:53
It's one of those deals.
5:54
Number two, don't ignore your body.
5:56
Too many guys are ignoring their bodies.
5:58
They're not taking care of themselves.
5:59
They're not sleeping.
5:59
They're not exercising.
6:00
They're not dieting.
6:01
So that's obviously a big one.
6:02
And the last one was get in the Bible every day.
6:06
Get in the Bible every single day.
6:08
Now here's the thing with that list.
6:09
And here's the thing with the ones that I'm going to give you for this year is these 15
6:13
aren't now null and void, right?
6:15
It's not like, well, you gave me this list of 15, but you're about to give me some more.
6:18
So what do I do with these other 15?
6:19
I'm assuming that you guys don't have those other 15 on lock.
6:22
I'm assuming you guys don't have all of those things figured out.
6:25
So those are things that you should continue to think about.
6:28
Now I know some guys that have actually taken the rules from 2019,
6:31
the stuff that they should focus on.
6:32
They typed them up.
6:33
They printed them out.
6:34
They put it on their, their mirror in the morning when they're getting ready.
6:37
Some guys have it in their truck.
6:38
They have it in their notes on their phone.
6:39
That's all great.
6:40
I don't care how you remind yourself to do these things,
6:42
but it is very, very important.
6:44
But it is 2020.
6:45
It's a brand new year.
6:46
It's a brand new decade.
6:48
And so I've got some other things for you guys to consider, okay?
6:51
So I'm going to be giving you the top 12 ways to avoid being a crappy man in 2020.
6:56
So you might be thinking Kyle, you did 15 last year.
6:58
You're only doing 12 this year.
7:00
What's the deal?
7:00
Are you getting lazy?
7:01
Here's the thing guys is like as I thought about these things,
7:04
I would just write them down.
7:04
Same thing last year.
7:06
You know, you basically have a whiteboard.
7:07
As I would think of things that guys would need to focus on,
7:10
I would just kind of write it down, right?
7:11
And so I didn't want to spend maybe an entire podcast on any one of these individual
7:16
things or maybe I would tease it out a little bit more further in the future.
7:19
But these were just the 12 that made the most sense.
7:22
There were others that came up, but there weren't any that I thought was,
7:26
you know, worthy of kind of its own spot on this list, I guess.
7:29
So it could have been more.
7:30
It could have been less.
7:31
I actually had this list at 10.
7:33
And then I figured out kind of an 11th one that made a lot of sense.
7:36
And then as of yesterday, there was a 12th one that just kind of came out.
7:39
So this was going to be the top 11 ways, but here we are with the top 12.
7:43
So one thing that's different about this year's list is that these are in no particular order.
7:47
Now last year, you know, you could have put, you know, 15 through two and kind of any order you
7:51
wanted. And it's number one that I wanted to make sure was in your brain.
7:54
These are not in any particular order.
7:56
These are just in the order as I thought about them.
7:59
So there's not necessarily anything.
8:01
There's no meaning to what's number one versus what's number 12.
8:04
Well, number 12 is the last one that I did think of that I just added recently.
8:07
But there's really no rhyme or reason to the flow of it.
8:10
So just kind of go with me, but we're going to go into these.
8:13
These are the top 12 ways to avoid being a crappy man in 2020.
8:17
So let's go into number one.
8:18
And that is train to the point of complete exhaustion.
8:23
Train to the point of complete exhaustion.
8:25
So here's the thing.
8:26
I know a lot of guys that quote unquote workout.
8:31
They exercise, they train, that's what they do.
8:34
But these guys can go an entire calendar year.
8:38
And you might be thinking of yourself here, you can go an entire calendar year
8:42
and not think to yourself, man, I was, I was absolutely completely exhausted at that point.
8:48
After that particular workout, after that particular run, after this, after whatever,
8:53
I literally had to just lay on the ground for two or three minutes just to catch my breath,
8:57
but before I could even consider talking to somebody.
9:01
Because the thing that I understand about a lot of guys, so I'm making an assumption here.
9:04
I'm making an assumption that the guys that are listening to this podcast
9:07
are not necessarily struggling with getting in the gym and doing the things that they need to do.
9:12
I'm assuming that's a given.
9:13
You're an adult at this point.
9:15
If you're sitting around doing nothing with yourself, there's nothing that I can magically
9:19
say to you that's going to make you like pop off the couch and be like,
9:22
Hey, I don't want to be fat this year.
9:24
There's nothing I can say.
9:25
I'm okay with that.
9:26
It is what it is.
9:27
But for a lot of you guys that are training, you're not training hard enough.
9:30
You're just not.
9:32
You're doing what it takes to get by.
9:34
You do your little cycle of lifts or you do your runs or whatever.
9:39
And you just never really gone past two miles on a run.
9:42
Just because I just kind of stay at a nine, 10 minute pace and I just kind of get my
9:47
two miles in and then I move on with the rest of my day.
9:49
And guys, that's better than nothing, but it's not a lot.
9:52
I mean, you're certainly not pushing the limits.
9:54
You're not making yourself that much better by just going through the motions.
9:58
And one of the ways that you can do that is if you periodically, not all the time,
10:03
certainly not all the time, but if you periodically push yourself to the point of complete exhaustion,
10:08
where you are so out of it, you are so done that you're just like, Oh my gosh,
10:14
I just don't know if I could have dug down and done much deeper.
10:17
Then you're kind of reaching the expanses of what your limits are physically.
10:22
And so for me, when it comes to complete exhaustion, I think about whenever,
10:26
let's say you've got a group or maybe you do like some circuit training.
10:29
So you do a minute on these 12 different, you know, exercises or something like that,
10:33
or whatever the situation may be.
10:35
I know that for us on Sunday nights, we used to do at our jujitsu class that we would do.
10:40
We would do these circuits.
10:41
It was like 15 different stations and you do these circuits.
10:44
And the thing was is guys would get tired at the same place at every point in the circuit,
10:48
because they would just kind of dog it and then they would get to a certain point in the circuit
10:52
and then they would just kind of like take it easy.
10:54
That's why I don't really like circuit workouts is because for the most part,
10:56
people can take it easy whenever the heck they want.
10:58
They take the first 30 seconds off, they do, you know, 15 seconds kind of hard,
11:02
and then they basically pretend they're breathing hard for the last 15.
11:05
And then they just mosey on to the other station.
11:07
But the thing about it is is what I would do during all those things is,
11:11
I would try to figure out which station I was tempted to go light on,
11:15
because maybe the station after that was really hard or two stations after that would be hard,
11:19
or maybe it was the one right after a hard station or something like that.
11:22
And I would try to go full bore at the one that I was normally worried about taking it easy.
11:27
Because at the end of the workout, it should, you should be completely wiped out and exhausted.
11:32
And maybe I'm belaboring the point, but I really want to drive this home.
11:36
Most of you guys don't train hard enough.
11:38
And then you look around at some of the guys that are in your class with you or that are in
11:41
your running group with you or whether a situation may be and you're like, man,
11:44
they're in such better shape.
11:45
Genetically, there might be a component there, but let's just assume they're out working you.
11:48
You're just not doing as much.
11:51
And you're like, man, that guy's in such good shape.
11:53
Well, how do you think he got that way?
11:54
By taking it easy every single time he worked out.
11:58
Now, again, don't hear me saying something that I'm not.
12:00
Don't go to complete exhaustion every time.
12:02
That's one of the biggest reasons why I'm not a huge fan of CrossFit.
12:05
You should not be working out to failure every single time you work out.
12:09
You certainly should certainly should not be working out to failure,
12:11
doing things like cleans and cleans and jerks and snatch and deadlift ever.
12:16
You should never do those things to failure.
12:17
That's so, so stupid, but you should push yourself to complete exhaustion at some point.
12:22
So the first thing for this year, train to the point of complete exhaustion.
12:26
All right, number two, make amends, make amends.
12:30
So obviously this one, you can kind of take it a bunch of different ways.
12:33
But for a lot of guys, you've got some drama in your life that has gone
12:38
unaccounted for and undiscussed and unsolved.
12:42
And a lot of it has to do with the fact that you just hadn't made amends with people.
12:46
So there are certain people in your life that have maybe taken advantage of you.
12:50
You have people in your life that have hurt you.
12:52
You've had people in your life that have done things specifically
12:55
with the express purpose of hurting you or hurting the people that you love as well.
12:59
And you haven't dealt with that fully yet.
13:01
These are memories that you haven't fully worked through.
13:05
These are conversations that you haven't had yet.
13:07
And it's affecting you.
13:08
And that's the big thing for this year is you know this to be true.
13:13
When you leave those things out there in the ether, just kind of hanging around,
13:16
they don't just stay out there.
13:17
They come back and it could be anything.
13:20
It could be a message on Facebook.
13:22
It could be something that you see in a department store.
13:25
There's going to be something that reminds you of this person in the hurt
13:28
that's potentially still there.
13:29
And the thing is, I'm not going to spend much time on this one
13:32
because it's pretty straightforward.
13:34
As I'm describing this, there were people that probably came to mind for you, right?
13:39
A family member, an old friend, a college buddy,
13:44
you know, co-worker, something like that.
13:46
Something that you just kind of, you know, pushed away.
13:48
I don't need to deal with that.
13:49
They need to come to me first.
13:50
They need to be the bigger person.
13:51
I don't need to do whatever the situation may be.
13:53
But in 2020, how about you take care of some of those things?
13:57
And that doesn't mean, you know, every one of those conversations
14:00
is going to turn into a lifetime movie or a hallmark card or something like that.
14:04
It's just take care of the things that you can take care of.
14:07
Own the things that you can own.
14:09
If you've done wrong, own the wrong that you've done to other people
14:12
and try to make amends, okay?
14:14
So that's number two for 2020.
14:16
Make amends.
14:17
All right.
14:17
The third way to avoid being a crappy man in 2020 is, okay, train jujitsu.
14:23
Now, guys, I'm fully aware that I said this back in 2019.
14:28
I said that for that year, but here's the deal.
14:30
Training jujitsu is unbelievably important.
14:34
And I know you've probably haven't heard me say that before,
14:36
or you've heard me say it pretty much every single podcast,
14:38
but training jujitsu is so unbelievably important.
14:41
But I'm going to take a slightly different tack than I normally do,
14:44
because I've done entire podcast, multiple podcasts,
14:47
just on the subject of jujitsu.
14:49
I bring it up multiple times on episodes of the podcast.
14:52
It's just something that I talk about a lot.
14:54
It's something that I'm passionate about,
14:55
something that I think has a tremendous amount of value for people.
14:59
But I want to specifically address a group of people right now
15:03
that say something along the lines of, you know what,
15:06
Kyle, you know, fighting's just not really my thing.
15:08
Yeah, I just don't really have any interest in fighting or grappling or,
15:13
you know, being around sweaty guys or blah, blah, blah, any of those things.
15:16
I want to address you guys directly.
15:18
You might be right.
15:21
You might 100% be right.
15:25
Jujitsu training, any type of martial arts,
15:28
like real martial arts, not like Akido or, you know, Karate or any of that nonsense,
15:32
but like a real martial art.
15:33
It may not be for you, but do you know that?
15:38
And I mean, do you really know that and not know that from assumptions,
15:44
but know that from experience?
15:45
Do you know it because you spent some time in a jujitsu school
15:50
and it just wasn't really your thing?
15:52
Do you know that because you did two years of wrestling in high school
15:55
and you're like, ah, this is not really my thing.
15:57
Do you know that because you train Thai boxing for six months
16:00
and then you just realize, man, this whole getting punched in the head thing is just not really my bag?
16:03
Do you know that?
16:04
Because here's the thing.
16:06
The number of guys that I invite to jujitsu versus the number of guys that actually come and try it,
16:14
it's like 25 to 1, 30 to 1, 50 to 1, it's something like that.
16:21
The number of guys that I talked to just about, maybe our Sunday night crew,
16:24
guys that get together and read books and work out and train very, very basic jujitsu,
16:28
nothing crazy, no one leaving with a concussion, none of that type of stuff.
16:31
I don't get a whole lot of people to show up and most of the people kind of come with the same thing.
16:34
Oh, that just doesn't sound that interesting to me or I'm not really into that kind of a thing,
16:38
but when I ask them if they've ever done something like this before,
16:42
the answer is almost 100% of the time, no.
16:44
So here's the thing.
16:46
The reason why I know that I don't like golf is because I've played a lot around the golf in my life.
16:52
And finally, one day I evaluated, wait a minute, every single time I've played golf,
16:57
I've had a bad time and I wish I hadn't gone.
17:00
Every single time I'm around hole number eight, I feel like, holy crap,
17:04
is there still really this many more holes?
17:07
How much longer am I going to have to be here to finish this round of golf?
17:10
How much did I pay for this round of golf?
17:12
I don't even have a caddy.
17:13
I'm having to deal with all the stuff on my own, but it's because I had an experience.
17:17
I had experience with golf and now I can categorize it as something that I'm just not really that into,
17:22
right?
17:23
Now I can be militant about that or I can just be whatever about that,
17:26
but it is what it is. It's in a different category for me, okay?
17:29
But for those of you that have never tried jujitsu, I'm going to go out on a complete limb here.
17:34
There's probably a gym in your area and I've had guys reach out to me.
17:37
Hey, you know, there's this gym that's close by, but you know, the best guy in there is like a
17:42
purple belt and it's not really that doesn't seem like that grade of a class or kind of teaching
17:46
some [inaudible] out type stuff, but then there's this other class, you know, school that's maybe
17:50
an hour away and that one's a lot better, but I can't get over there that much.
17:52
And you know, those are all very interesting questions and I'd love to help you with that.
17:56
But again, this whole point here is jujitsu is one of those things that taxes you physically
18:01
and mentally.
18:02
And there's a lot of guys that don't do a lot of things that take care of both of those things
18:05
at the same time, okay?
18:07
So especially to the guys that are spending all this time coming up with excuses saying
18:11
why jujitsu is not for them, why they wouldn't like it, why they blah, blah, blah.
18:14
Train until you can get to the point where you can tap out somebody that's of equal skill as you
18:19
and then evaluate if it's for you at that point, maybe it's not, but you should find
18:24
something that's going to tax you physically and mentally, jujitsu is just the best thing that I've
18:28
found. All right, number four, don't let questions go unanswered. Don't let questions go unanswered.
18:35
So this might seem a little bit, you know, you know, out there or whatever, but let's just kind of
18:39
make this as as pragmatic as possible. There's so many questions that guys walk around with
18:45
that they spend no time working through. So these could be questions of life in general,
18:51
large philosophical topics, large theological topics, and they have these questions and it
18:59
comes up with them semi regularly, but then they don't do anything to dig into it. Okay,
19:04
most guys, most adult males are not researchers. And I mean, like real researchers, not like,
19:10
oh, should I use this tight end or that tight end for my fantasy football playoff?
19:14
Not like that. I mean, like real research, like you're trying to figure out like,
19:18
okay, I've heard like three people talk about Calvinism recently. I don't know much about that.
19:22
I'm going to research that a little bit. That doesn't mean you're going to dedicate the next
19:25
seven years of your life to figuring out the five points of Calvinism or whatever the situation
19:29
may be, but you're just going to get into the nuts and bolts over a little bit to get a base level
19:34
understanding of something. Maybe you're, you know, I think I'm going to talk about the Overton window
19:40
at different points, maybe coming up this month a little bit later this month. But that's
19:43
like a topic that's come up in conversation. Then you kind of look at that as a philosophical
19:48
topic or as a political topic and you're like, okay, maybe I should consider that one way or another.
19:52
A lot of you guys have positions on subject matters. Just think politically or socially.
19:58
And you have no idea why you think those ways. You have no idea why you think left as opposed
20:02
to right. You have, you have no freaking clue. It's because you have all these unanswered
20:07
questions and you've gone unchallenged for so long that you have no idea how exactly you've gotten
20:11
to the point that you've been able to make a declaration on one side or the other of any
20:15
particular issue. But the thing about it is, is you shouldn't let these questions go unanswered.
20:20
If you've got even a deeper question in your heart, like, why am I here?
20:25
You know, I'm, I'm sending a cubicle, you know, all day long and all week long and I get my two
20:30
weeks off and you're not going to ask for permission if I need to go to the bathroom. And you know,
20:34
is this where I want to be? Is this, you know, the life that I have for myself, is this the best
20:40
way to provide for my family? That's a question that you really need to dig into. Like, you don't
20:47
want to be one of those people that just kind of lets that question go and then you're 25 years
20:51
down the road into this career that you hate. And all of a sudden you're just stuck. You don't
20:55
want to be that person. It's because you have to question these things and you have to drill down
21:02
to the base level of these things and figure out why is it that I'm thinking about this particular
21:07
subject for those of you that are believers, which there are a lot of you that listen to this podcast,
21:11
obviously, and for those of you that are not believers listening to this, we're so happy that
21:15
you're here listening to this. But for some of you, don't you think God's trying to communicate
21:18
something to you with these, these longings, these questions that are bubbling up inside your soul
21:24
or inside your brain? Maybe there's a communication that God's trying to get to you through research
21:30
in one of those topics. So again, as I said this, and as I'm describing this and teasing out this
21:34
idea, I'm sure some of those questions came up for you. Jot them down. Jot them down. Text them
21:40
to a buddy. Leave yourself a note on your phone. Leave a voice memo. Whatever situation may be.
21:44
But start digging into that. Start figuring out how you feel about that certain topic and then maybe
21:50
delve into, you know, be your own little personal detective. Why do you think that's come up for you?
21:54
Okay. So number four, don't let questions go unanswered. Number five, join, start, or define
22:02
your foxhole. Okay. So that's join slash start slash define your foxhole. So again, I talked about
22:08
this in the last podcast, but the podcast that has gotten kind of the most chatter and the most
22:12
questions directly to me was the your foxhole podcast, your foxhole episode 104 of this podcast.
22:17
And so I'm not going to do a rehash of what a foxhole is, but that's basically, you know,
22:22
I go into way more detail in episode 104, but it's the guys that are around you that you're doing
22:25
life with, right? The guys that are pushing you, the guys that you're pushing, the guys that you're
22:29
learning from, and you know, the iron sharpening ironing, however, you want to say it, right?
22:33
But so many guys have talked to me philosophically about a foxhole. And you know, well, they've got
22:40
a potential foxhole here because they live here. And then if they did this, you know, maybe they
22:44
can get together. And the thing about it is, is I feel like guys are way too much in their heads
22:49
about the foxhole thing. Okay. So many of you guys have a foxhole that's already established,
22:54
but you just need to step into it. You need to join it. Okay. Some of you guys kind of already have
22:59
kind of this milieu of a foxhole going on right now, but you need to define it. You need to define
23:05
some parameters, you know, kind of what we're going to be about, you know, some of the things
23:08
that we're going to do as a crew, it doesn't have to be super formalized, but you need to kind of
23:12
define that a little bit. But but for some of you, and this is where I've encouraged a lot of you
23:16
to do this, you need to start one. You don't have a strong foxhole. You don't have kind of that
23:22
natural foxhole, maybe a family foxhole or something like that in your community. And it just kind
23:26
of is what it is. But you just need to start it. Maybe it's you and two other guys to start,
23:32
right? If it's you and just one other guy, that just means you're hanging out, right? But if it's
23:36
you and two other guys, that's the beginnings of a foxhole. And you kind of figure out the things
23:41
that you're going to do as a group. Because again, guys like to do things shoulder to shoulder
23:45
before they come together in a circle to talk about them. But again, this is your year to do that.
23:51
You've spent the last two, three, 10 years, whatever the situation may be thinking, oh,
23:55
it'd be so nice if I guys that were in my life that I could depend on and all these things.
23:59
But you've done nothing to cultivate those relationships. Like they weren't supposed to just fall out of
24:04
the sky and directly into your life and affect you in an incredibly important and positive way.
24:08
So this is your year. Join start to find your foxhole. This is your year. That's number five.
24:15
All right, guys, number six, move towards hard discussions, move towards hard discussions.
24:22
Okay, there's a lot of guys in my life that avoid hard discussions above everything else.
24:28
They do not want to have that hard discussion. They do not want to have the fact that they're
24:34
not in as good a shape as they should be challenged. They do not want to have that discussion about
24:39
how they're looking at the waitress in the restaurant. They do not want to have that discussion
24:43
about how they're parenting their kids. They do not want to have that discussion, you know,
24:48
with anything. Maybe there's a family member that is doing something wrong. Maybe there's
24:51
a good friend in their life that is literally ruining their marriage on a daily basis. But,
24:56
ah, you know what? That's his life. And I don't really want to pry and I don't really want to
25:00
get into that situation. So many guys are avoiding these hard discussions. You need to embrace it
25:07
and move towards them. So let's take that scenario that I just made off the top of my head. So you've
25:11
got it. You've got a buddy that is destroying his marriage. Maybe he's cheating on his wife.
25:15
Maybe he's got an emotional affair going on with the coworker. Maybe he's, you know,
25:20
he's hiding money. Maybe the maybe whatever a situation, you know, think of ways that
25:24
marriages get ruined in 2020. Okay. And you are in a perfect position to intercede.
25:30
This guy, this guy respects you. This guy loves you. This guy, you know, thinks highly of you.
25:37
And if you were to come to him and talk to him in a very serious way about the decisions that he's
25:42
making, he would listen, but you don't do it. You don't do it because it's weird or because it's
25:50
awkward or because you're busy or you're, because you're afraid he's going to get mad. Maybe he's
25:54
going to blast you in the face. Like whatever the situation may be, the people that you're,
25:58
you're not helping in that situation or the two most important people in that situation,
26:01
which is him, him and his spouse, take yourself out of the equation because you don't technically
26:08
matter because when you're trying to get into somebody's life and improve them and help them,
26:13
it's not about you. It's about them. So why wouldn't you have the discussion?
26:18
And guys, here's the thing is these things aren't fun.
26:23
They may have a positive outcome in the end, but they're certainly not fun.
26:30
I don't think anyone is expecting you to think that they would be fun, but at the same time,
26:34
why does that matter? How many things in your life do you do that are just completely not fun,
26:40
not fun at all? I mean, so many of you guys have people that you can have a direct effect on,
26:46
but you just don't want to do anything about it. Okay. There's a show that that's, I think it's
26:52
on television still, but I see it on YouTube, but it's what would you do? It's all these different
26:55
scenarios where there's this guy hitting on a waitress at a bar and he's being real loud about
27:01
it or maybe there's all these different scenarios, but the thing is, these are actors. So the bar
27:06
tender is an actress and the guy at the bar is an actor, and it's a hidden camera show. They're
27:10
trying to figure out who's going to stand up and say something. And it's everything from,
27:14
there's a 13 year old girl at a restaurant by herself and a guy comes by and tries to coax her
27:19
to leave with them and stuff like that. So there's some serious ones like that, and then there's
27:22
some other ones that aren't quite as serious, but I'm always amazed by the people that don't say
27:27
anything because they bring the cameras out and talk to those people as well like, Hey,
27:31
this was going on and you weren't really saying anything. What's the deal? And you hear these
27:35
people like, Oh, you know, that's not my business and there's, there's nothing I could have done.
27:38
And you know, if it escalated, I wasn't prepared for that and all that. It's like, do you want to be
27:41
that guy? Do you want to be the dopey guy at the end of the bar that's like, Oh, yeah, I didn't
27:45
want to see because it could have hurt my feelings or something like that. You don't want to be that
27:49
person. You want to be the person that goes towards these hard discussions. Now, you don't need to go
27:54
in there like a rhinoceros and just try to destroy everything on your way in. But at the same time,
27:59
using tact and using self control, go towards these discussions, it's good for you and it's good
28:04
for those around you. So focus on that this year. That's number six, move towards hard
28:08
discussions. All right, guys, we're halfway. Now we're moving on to number seven. We only got six
28:12
left. So here we go. Number seven, operate as if goals are important. Operate as if goals are
28:20
important. So the overwhelming majority of guys, including the ones listening to this podcast,
28:26
do not do any goal setting whatsoever. They do not write goals down. They do not discuss those
28:32
goals with other people. It's just not something that they've done. And guess what? That's the
28:35
entire population. It's not like it's all of a sudden different with women. Okay. People just
28:40
don't write down goals. Adults, teenagers, kids, they just don't operate with goals in mind.
28:45
And I think there's two reasons for that. One, one is that most people just inherently think
28:51
that goals aren't important. They don't really matter. And two, it's that people are just really,
28:56
really lazy. And in order for them to get goals on paper, they may have to carve out an hour. Oh,
29:02
I know an entire hour a year to write those things down to think through them and put them on paper.
29:09
Like I got my goal sitting right here in front of me, right here in my studio. That's the paper.
29:13
Those are my goals for this year, right? They're right here, written down, ready to go. Okay.
29:19
But the thing is, is the reason why most people aren't doing it is because they don't operate
29:24
like it's important. They're lazy for sure, but they just don't think it's that important because
29:28
if it was that important, wouldn't most of you do it? And I know I would like to think I'm
29:32
preaching the choir here because most of you know that dieting and exercise is important,
29:35
but you don't do that. Most of you think that reading is important, but you don't do that either.
29:39
But it's kind of one of those things that if you operate it as if goals were important,
29:43
it would be amazing how much better your business would be this year. It would be incredible
29:49
how much more intimate your relationship with your wife would be this year. It would be astonishing
29:55
how much closer you would get to understanding what God's trying to communicate to you
29:59
with your life through scripture. It would absolutely blow you away. But you don't do that
30:06
because you don't think goals are important. So this year, I want you to trick yourself,
30:10
operate as if they are, because here's things. If you think goals are important,
30:15
if you operate as if they're important, you got to write them down. You got to kind of figure that
30:19
out. But if you don't do that, you're just going to have another year kind of like last year,
30:23
and maybe you're maybe you're crushing it. Maybe you're doing okay. But all of the statistical data
30:28
that we have on people that set goals, and it comes when it comes to them being able to accomplish
30:33
things, right, to accomplish things in their family and their businesses and their personal lives,
30:36
whatever situation may be, it goes up substantially if they're a goal setter. Because when you have
30:42
goals, there's a lot of ways to do that. And this isn't a goal setting podcast. I've done that
30:46
already. I think that was episode two or three of those podcasts go back and listen to that.
30:49
But at the same time, if you operate as if they're important, you're going to have better outcomes,
30:54
and it's almost guaranteed. So do that this year. Number seven, operate as if goals are important.
31:01
Number eight, learn how to fix it. Learn how to fix it. So here's the thing. Some of you guys out
31:07
there, you can just kind of skip over this one, because you already know how to fix it. And for
31:12
the most part, I'm talking about stuff that breaks. Okay, whether that be a car, whether that be a
31:17
bicycle, whether that be the sink, whether that be the toilet, whether that be the roof. When things
31:22
break, most of us don't fix it anymore. Maybe you grew up in an environment where dad fixed everything
31:29
or grandpa came over and helped you fix it or whatever the situation may be. But we just don't
31:32
really do that very much anymore. We're in a replace it culture, right? Now, there are certain
31:38
things in life that when they break, they were just meant to break. You're going to have to spend
31:42
way too much time and buy way too many tools to fix that thing that can only that, you know,
31:46
you can just buy a new one for $20 on Amazon. But the thing about is when you learn how to fix something,
31:52
you get a level of accomplishment and a sense of accomplishment when you get to the other side.
31:55
I've got a buddy who's got an old truck that he works on, right? And the thing about it is,
31:59
is he's got enough money to go buy a new truck. But that's not the point. He's got an old truck
32:05
that he's working on that he's figuring out and he's got these interesting relationships with
32:10
different people in his life that know more than he does on that particular machine or that part
32:14
of the machine. And so they'll come over and kind of help him. And you know, he'll go spend $20
32:20
on a part at AutoZone as opposed to spending $500 to have someone else fix it. And he gets
32:25
a sense of accomplishment. But also he's exercising his brain because he's having to problem solve
32:31
and trying to figure out, Oh crap, I thought I had the right tool for this. But no, I don't really
32:34
got that. And maybe I got to go do this. And guys, this is one of those suggestions that has nothing
32:38
to do with time value of money. You know, I know some of you guys are like, well, if I could pay
32:42
someone to fix it for this much, and I could say myself this much time, I make approximately this
32:46
much per hour, that's not the calculus I'm working with right now. I'm talking simply about challenging
32:51
yourself mentally, getting yourself past the hump of taking care of an issue, because it's going to
32:57
have dividends for you in all of their areas of life. Because a lot of you guys don't want to fix
33:03
it, even if it's simple, because you just don't really want to spend the time you don't want to
33:09
tax yourself mentally. And think about how that goes into relationships. You have a lot of people
33:15
that kind of goes back to earlier, whenever you're not wanting to get into those hard discussions,
33:18
because you don't really want to fix it. It's going to take too much effort. You know, it's going to
33:22
be a pound of flesh, and you just don't really know if you got that in you, right? One of those
33:26
situations. But that's something I would like to encourage you to do for this year in 2020. That
33:31
is learn how to fix it. All right, guys, number nine, assume your point of view is incorrect.
33:38
Assume your point of view is incorrect. Okay. So I'm the type of guy that I like to have debates
33:43
with people. Now, I want these debates to be cordial. I want them to be positive. I want everybody to
33:48
leave that conversation feeling like they've been heard and also feeling like they have some
33:52
things they need to chew on themselves. But one of the things that I found is most helpful,
33:57
especially on a topic like abortion, right? One that I have such black and white views on,
34:02
and I've done entire episodes about that subject matter before. And I've kind of helped a lot of
34:07
you guys, you know, figure out your thoughts around those issues so that you can have more
34:11
substantive discussions about abortion. But when you think about something like that,
34:14
if you put yourself in the mindset that, what if my point of view is wrong?
34:19
I'm going to assume that my point of view on this important issue or topic is incorrect.
34:24
When you do that, that's an old speech and debate trick where you have to argue the other side.
34:30
And when you argue the other side, even if you vehemently disagree with that other side,
34:36
you will instinctively and inherently find holes in your original point of view.
34:41
When you find those holes in your original point of view, in order to keep your original
34:46
point of view, you've got to fill those holes with something and answer a research of some kind,
34:52
you know, some sort of logic, you've got to fill those holes because they can't be left,
34:56
you know, unfilled that the ship will eventually sink, right? But for a lot of you guys,
35:02
you have these very, very strong opinions on things. And again, as I've talked about earlier,
35:08
you don't really even know why. But you've never assumed that you might be wrong.
35:12
I mean, I've said this to you guys before, hopefully you've used this. But sometimes when I go into
35:18
potentially difficult conversations with people where it's very clearly and defineably so that
35:22
they are wrong, their point of view is wrong, right? Like they're just incorrect. I asked them,
35:30
if you were wrong, would you want to know? And their response to me, again, I've said this before,
35:35
but their response to me gives me a really good idea as to whether or not I should engage in that
35:39
conversation. Because if they're, if I asked them, you know, would, if you were wrong, would you want
35:43
to know if they're like, well, I'm not wrong, and you're, you're just assuming that I'm wrong,
35:47
and who are you to say and blah, blah, that's a great time to change the subject and move on with
35:51
your life, right? Just move on. But if you say to somebody, Hey, if you were wrong about that,
35:56
would you want to know? And if they got a little bit introspective and said, well, you know, I just
36:01
don't really see a way where I could be wrong on that. But you know, if I was showing evidence to
36:04
the contrary, like I'm, you know, I would want to be intellectually honest and make sure that I
36:08
considered that sure sure, I want to know that I was wrong. You just got a great conversation going
36:13
right there, right? But for most of us, we just assume that we're right. That that's why worldviews
36:19
are so important to so many people's because you just assume they're correct. You've never
36:23
fathomed the idea that maybe you were wrong. So spend some time this year assuming that your
36:28
point of view on important topics is incorrect. And that's number nine. All right, guys, number 10,
36:33
we got three left. Here we go. Read books that are at least 10% beyond your capability to understand.
36:40
Read books that are at least 10% beyond your capability to understand. Here's the thing,
36:46
inherent is there is the whole reading part. Because here's the thing I'm done messing with you guys
36:51
when it comes to reading. If you want to be a dumb, dumb and never read a book, be a dumb, dumb. I
36:56
don't care. Again, ignore the research. You probably wouldn't read it anyway. But ignore the research
37:01
that says when you read on a regular basis, it staves off dementia and Alzheimer's and all those
37:08
things, all those horrific diseases that kill people. Yeah, forget all that. If you're not going
37:13
to read screw you, who cares? I don't care anymore. But if you are going to be a reader,
37:18
whether you're a six books a year reader or whatever the situation may be 100 books per year,
37:22
you need to sneak in some material that is going to really push you.
37:25
So this last year, there were several books that did that for me. There was one called Genesis in
37:31
the Big Bang, the Gulag Archipelago, you know, different things. But with some of these books,
37:35
like I don't have like a science based mind, like my brain is super wired for science, right?
37:41
Chemistry, biology, a lot of those things. It just doesn't really blend in with my brain that
37:46
easily, right? It's just not one of those things that I'm great at. But when I read Genesis in the
37:50
Big Bang last year, that was a very scientific book. And it was incredibly difficult. And I had
37:56
to go back and read sections over again. And I had to do everything that I could to just kind of hang
38:01
on as this train was kind of taken off without me, right? But the situation is here is I feel
38:07
like that book made me better. Because we talk about resilience all the time on this podcast.
38:12
And as a part of this ministry, we talk about resilience, resilience, resilience.
38:15
Part of the thing is, is you have to push yourself beyond your limits, spiritually, mentally and
38:19
physically, right? That's how you create resilience. And so for some of the books that you take in
38:24
shore, read books that are just flat out and entertaining, right? Read some fiction books that are just
38:29
going to, you know, basically be 300 pages of a really elongated movie, but you know, in your brain
38:35
or whatever situation may be, I don't really care. But there are some books that are going to challenge
38:39
you. And I know it's like 10% beyond your capability. How do you, how exactly do you measure that? But
38:43
you know when a book's kind of beyond you. When you, you know, when you're not quite smart enough
38:48
to be reading what you're reading, right? But the only way you get better at those things is by
38:52
practicing. And so I know I got some readers listening to this. I know a lot of you guys are
38:56
actually readers because you're, you're smart people. Now you want to make sure that you're
38:59
not going to be a dumb, dumb as you get into your older ages. But there are some books on the horizon
39:03
for you that are not going to be easy. And I've suggested a lot go back to the podcast I did that
39:08
was two podcasts ago on the best books of that year. I put some books out there that I'm looking
39:12
to take down next year. Some of those books are going to be really, really difficult. And what's
39:16
difficult for me is not going to be difficult for you. I've already told you, fiction's really
39:19
difficult for me. It's hard for me to keep all the characters straight. It's hard for me to keep
39:23
all the plot lines straight. I mean, if you miss a paragraph in a fiction book, you might miss the
39:27
whole boat. You know what I mean? But you don't really get that with other books that are nonfiction
39:31
because there's not really huge ideas that you're missing in a history book. If you miss out on one
39:35
paragraph because you daydreamed or something like that. But for those of you guys that are
39:38
going to be reading in 2020, again, number 10, read books that are at least 10% beyond your
39:43
capability to understand. All right, number 11, try it the hard way. Try it the hard way.
39:50
So you can apply this in a lot of different ways. And off the top of my head here without notes,
39:57
there's not really a lot of ways that I've defined. But there's one way that normally comes to mind
40:03
when it comes to thinking about doing things a hard way. So I think about it in terms of hiking,
40:08
right? So you're in the mountains and you have a defined path that's in front of you, right?
40:12
And let's assume that, you know, you're feeling good, oxygen's good, you know, you've got a full
40:16
belly, whatever situation may be, right, super hydrated. If you just keep going the normal way,
40:22
it's going to be fine. But you could also go off trail. You could just veer off trail and just
40:28
see what's out on the other side. And that's what I would encourage you guys to do figuratively and
40:34
literally is try it the hard way. If there's an easy way to do a move in jujitsu, try it the hard way,
40:42
train it the hard way. Callous your brain to difficult things. Because that's the thing for a
40:50
lot of you guys, when you quit things, when you stop training in the middle of a training cycle,
40:54
when you stop reading a book, because it just wasn't that fun in the first 50 pages, when you
40:59
stop that relationship with that person that you thought was really important to you, but it was
41:03
going to take a little bit more extra, you know, more work to, to hang on to that relationship.
41:07
A lot of that is because you're just mentally weak. You haven't done things that were that hard.
41:12
And I've talked about this before as well. Physically, I know people that, you know,
41:19
they're just so exhausted, you know, we're doing abs and, you know, I'm telling them to get their
41:22
feet up off the floor and they just can't, they just can't get their feet up off the floor. But
41:26
what's funny is when their feet hit the floor and I say, Hey, get your feet up. They can get their
41:30
feet up every single time. When I say, Hey, get in the top of a pushup, we're going to do more
41:35
pushups. They, they were just laying on the ground a second ago. And now they're at the top of a
41:39
pushup. It's because their bodies are actually capable, but their brains aren't. It's because
41:46
they haven't spent enough time doing it the hard way. And so I want to encourage you guys to do that
41:52
this year as you're training, as you're reading, as you're hiking, as you're working, as you're
41:59
friendly as your relationship, and whatever the situation may be, right? I want you to do it the
42:04
hard way sometimes. Not every time. Don't be, don't be the weirdo that's trying to go the hard way
42:08
every time. Literally, if all you need to do to get across the street is walk across the street,
42:12
I'm not telling you that you need to run out of town and run back in. That's not what I'm saying
42:15
that you need to do. But there are times when you can see the two roads, the one to the left is easy,
42:21
the one to the right is treacherous. Don't go out of your way trying to be dangerous and trying to be
42:25
evil, can evil, but go the hard way and see what it does for you. Because there's there again, I
42:31
encourage you guys to read hard books and to train you jitsu and and push yourself to the max and
42:35
all those different things so that you can build this resilience. Just train hard. Try it the hard
42:40
way. See what it does for you. That's number 11. All right, guys, that was the list, right? As of 24
42:47
hours ago, that was the list for this year. But number 12 just kind of revealed itself to me
42:53
because of something that happened. So number 12 is this train to protect yourself and others,
42:59
train to protect yourself and others. So for those of you listening to this on time,
43:04
you know, this past weekend, again, if you're listening to this on time, there was a shooting
43:08
inside a church in White Settlement, Texas. Okay, so this is a small church. They were taking communion
43:14
and somebody walked in with the gun with the intention of killing all these people, right?
43:20
As of as of where I sit right now, I do not know anything about this person. I don't know what age
43:24
they were. I don't know if they had any connection to the church. The details that are coming out
43:28
are awkwardly coming out a little bit slower than normal. But again, this is still fresh. Okay.
43:33
But this person was stopped by a retired police officer or sheriff's deputy. I think it was a
43:40
sheriff's deputy retired who engaged this perpetrator immediately killing him. Okay. Now there were other
43:48
people inside the church that died. Again, the details are a little bit fuzzy, but this person
43:52
was ready to go and they took this person out. Okay. And this got me thinking, because there are
43:59
people in my life that are concealed carry people, dangerous people, like if they don't have a weapon
44:04
on them, they themselves are a weapon. I got people like that in my life. And then I got other
44:08
people in my life that are, well, you know, their wives are aren't really big on guns and they don't
44:13
really want to have one in the house. And you know, maybe they're a little bit scared of guns
44:17
because they weren't raised around them. So they didn't want to do all that. You know, even carrying
44:20
a pocket knife is a little weird to them because their coworker looked at another coworker funny
44:24
one time when he pulled a knife out of his pocket. And you know, that person that doesn't really want
44:28
to train has never really been notified. They're afraid that if they get punched in the face that
44:31
they'll just, you know, shatter into a billion pieces of whether the situation may be. There's,
44:35
there's the whole gamut with people that I'm around. But one thing's clear about this exact
44:41
situation that happened in that church in Texas is that if that man had not engaged this person,
44:49
there could have been dozens of people killed. Now, for those of you that are following this
44:55
story, one of the coolest things about the clip, because this in this, you know, communion was being
44:59
live streamed on the internet or something like that. There were seven people by the time the shooting
45:05
ended where, you know, basically the person that walked in shooting and then the guy that,
45:09
that engaged them at the beginning, seven different people pulled guns out like out of their waistbands,
45:14
out of their purses, seven different people were walking around with guns, making sure that the
45:18
perp was by himself, right? So it was probably going to be a bad day for the perp either way,
45:23
because Texans are freaking gangsters. And I love it. But let's just say nobody in there had a gun
45:31
that day, except for the perp, then what would have been a lot of victims. You know, maybe there
45:41
would have been heroic stories of people that charged at the gunman and, you know, tried to
45:45
grab the gun by the barrel and take it away from them. And then two or three more people piled on
45:49
and they got it out of their hands. But maybe not. Maybe we're talking about a massacre today
45:56
in a small church in a small town in Texas. So the thing is, is in a lot of ways, guys aren't ready
46:05
to protect themselves and others around them. They're just not ready. There are some of you guys
46:10
that own guns. You've never shot them. Some of you guys have a jujitsu school five minutes away
46:15
from your house. You never walked in. Some of you guys have a boxing gym that's right around the
46:19
corner from work. You've never walked in. Some of you guys have wives that, like I said earlier,
46:24
are very uncomfortable with, you know, guns or with any of those types of things. My encouragement
46:29
to you would be to go into her purse, get your testicles and reattach them. Okay. Because you
46:35
are charged with the protection of your family. So if your spouse is uncomfortable with weapons,
46:40
well, that's a force multiplier that if you don't have in your house, you might be watching as the
46:46
rest of your family is killed right in front of you. That's a situation that could actually happen.
46:51
And here's the other thing, guys, is these church shootings aren't going away just like
46:55
school shootings aren't going away. And we don't live in this fictitious world where the government
46:58
can just come in and take all of our weapons as Americans. That's just not something that's going
47:02
to happen. So you have to train to protect yourself and others around you, not learn,
47:08
because at first I was like, you know, learn how to protect yourself. But some of you guys have it
47:12
cognitively what you would do in that situation, but then you're not trained. So one of the really
47:17
impressive things about this guy that engages shooter in Texas is it was not the world's easiest
47:22
shot. Because this guy just walks in and starts shooting. So not only is he doing this by surprise,
47:30
he's also a moving target at that point. And, you know, from the, from the pictures, this guy's
47:35
maybe 20, 25 yards away. So it's just not the easiest shot in the world. For those of you that
47:41
have spent time on the range, sometimes when the paper's not even moving and it's right in front of
47:45
you, you can't put the bullet where you want it, right? But this guy has spent time training.
47:50
He didn't just learn how to shoot a weapon. He didn't just learn how to carry it on his person.
47:55
He trained with it, obviously, or he just got supremely lucky by hitting this guy, right?
48:02
But for those of you, if your heart rate's never been elevated when you've been training with your
48:07
weapon, like at what point do you think that that's just going to come to you naturally,
48:12
whenever it actually counts, whenever your heart rate goes from 70 to 160,
48:18
when somebody walks in and starts shooting, what are you going to do if you don't have any prior
48:21
experience with that? So it's not just about learning. It's about actually training it.
48:26
And guys, if you're a concealed carry person, and I know I talked to some people that are out of
48:32
the country and, you know, you, you know, maybe you're in a country that doesn't allow you to have
48:35
weapons, you know, I'm sorry about that, that, you know, your government doesn't see the need to
48:39
let you protect yourself with a force multiplier. But for those of you that are in America that
48:43
have concealed carry or have weapons and go to church, why are you not carrying in church?
48:48
And I know some people are like, well, it's not really legal to carry my church or there's not
48:53
really people, you know, the church doesn't really want us doing that. They have hired security or
48:57
whatever the situation may be. But the church that I go to in Edmund, Oklahoma, I know where the
49:02
security guard is. He's a fat guy that sits in a desk in one corner of the church.
49:09
And so if there's a shooting in the sanctuary, he's not close by. And I'm assuming that there
49:15
are other people there that are security, you know, unmarked or they don't have uniforms on
49:19
or whether the situation may be. But at the same time, if something goes on in your Sunday school
49:23
room or in the bathroom or something like that, you can't just assume security is going to be
49:28
there in time. By the time security is there to engage the perpetrator, how many people are dead,
49:34
how much blood's on the ground? You just don't know that. And so I'm using a lot of this in the
49:39
church setting because that's what's fresh on mind. But there's so many guys that just aren't ready.
49:43
They're not ready mentally or physically to protect themselves or the people around them at home,
49:48
in public, at work, at church. They're just not ready. Like, why would you want to be that person?
49:53
Again, it's the concept of whether you're going to be a sheep or a sheep dog. For most of you,
49:58
most of you guys aren't wolves, right? They're looking to prey on the weak. But the overwhelming
50:02
majority of people out there, they're sheep. They just go whatever direction the wind's blowing.
50:06
You know, they don't really want to ruffle any feathers and all those different things.
50:09
They don't really want to engage with people. And those are the people that when the bulls
50:12
start flying, they freeze. And I'm imploring you. Don't be that person. Don't be that person that
50:19
when you know what hits the fan, they just freeze and they can't function or everyone starts running
50:24
this way. And so they just run with them because they just assume that's the best thing to do at
50:28
that moment. And again, I'm not trying to say, Hey, you need to be Captain America and always run
50:33
towards the sound of danger and all those different things like that. That's kind of a different
50:36
deal for most people. But if somebody is between you and your family safe exit, what are you going to do?
50:41
And if you're one of those guys, it's, you know, you just assume things are always going to work
50:47
out. Have you seen enough examples in this world that not working out for people?
50:51
Like how many more examples do you need to see a people that are murdered inside their own homes
50:56
or people that are taken advantage in public and broad daylight for you to be like, I don't want
51:00
to be that victim. I don't want to be that person. And I've even heard and this is going to be real
51:04
sensitive for some people. One person's like, look, I'm a Christian. I don't need to defend myself.
51:09
That's what God's there for. Really? So you're not going to protect your home and you're not
51:16
going to protect yourself and you're not going to physically protect the people around you because
51:21
God and don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not kind of being heretical and saying that God can't
51:28
protect you. But we live in a post Genesis three world, a world that is broken. And I would be
51:36
hyper curious, not that I would wish this upon you or anybody, but I would be hyper curious
51:41
if you would be holding that same opinion, if you were watching somebody defile your wife in front
51:47
of your eyes. If you were watching somebody harm your child, physically right in front of you.
51:54
Are you sure that you would be saying the same thing? Are you? Are you absolutely certain you
52:01
would just say, Hey, man, you know what? Do whatever you got to do with her. But you know,
52:04
God's got it. We're good here. And again, that's not demeaning to God. That's meant to be demeaning
52:09
towards you because that's ignorant. There's a real world out there. And it's not always
52:14
peaches and cream, right? It's not rainbows and unicorns. And some of you guys need to get real.
52:19
Because the world that we're living in is not is not a soft world and never has been. Some of you,
52:25
again, we're kind of in, we've had good times for so long, you've gotten soft. And you've stopped
52:29
thinking about these scenarios where things could go wrong. So I'm not saying you need to be the
52:33
guy that's, you know, wearing your, your boots and your, your AR 15 over your chest and you walk
52:38
around looking for trouble. It's not what I'm saying. But be ready. There were seven people
52:42
inside that church that were ready that day. One of them acted and it worked out. There were
52:47
still people that were there were innocent people that were killed. There were lives that were lost.
52:51
And that's unbelievably unfortunate. Just could have been way more way worse than it was.
52:57
So a little bit of a somber note as we get here towards the end of the list, but perhaps that's
53:01
the most important one. For some of you guys, you need to get real about protecting yourself.
53:04
Train and self defense, real self defense, Jiu Jitsu, western boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling,
53:11
those types of things, but also train with a weapon system, a weapon system that can be on you
53:15
at multiple times. Some of you carry a belly blade. Some of you carry, carry gun, you know,
53:19
on your person appendix or four o'clock or, you know, on your ankle or something like that. But
53:24
make sure you're training with those things so that you can be effective with them whenever the
53:28
time comes. All right, guys, so let's go back over the list. The top 12 ways to avoid being a crappy
53:32
man in 2020. Number one, train to the point of complete exhaustion. Number two, make amends.
53:38
Number three, train Jiu Jitsu. Number four, don't let questions go unanswered. Number five,
53:43
join, start, or define your foxhole. Number six, move towards hard discussions. Number seven,
53:50
operate as if goals are important. Number eight, learn how to fix it. Number nine,
53:55
assume your point of view is incorrect. Number 10, read books that are at least 10% beyond your
54:00
capability to understand. Number 11, try it the hard way. And number 12, train to protect yourself
54:06
and others. All right, guys, before we let you out here, we're going to do a quick resilience boost.
54:10
As you know, by now, we are men's ministry and our mission is cultivating manly resilience.
54:14
Specifically, we do that by providing content like this podcast that helps you forward spiritual,
54:18
mental and physical toughness. So today, it's just, it's a complete left turn or whatever the
54:23
situation may be. Jordan Peterson recently was asked about the resurrection during a Q&A.
54:28
And so it's a short answer here, but I thought he gave a really interesting answer. I know there's
54:32
a lot of Jordan Peterson fans out there. So I got the YouTube link for you here. So you can enjoy
54:36
that in your off time. All right, guys, thanks so much for listening to this episode. We really
54:40
do appreciate it. Please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud, Spotify, or Google Play and refer your
54:45
friends to listen and share this on social media. Guys, the way that this podcast grows is by you
54:49
leaving five star reviews. So please take some time leaving us a five star review and a few
54:53
sentences letting us know why you like the content. I'm currently booking speaking engagements for
54:57
the entirety of 2020. So if you want me to come speak to your team, to your men's event,
55:01
on your podcast, whatever, hit me up info at undaunted.life. Again, the emails info at undaunted.life.
55:07
The website is www.undaunted.life. And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undauntedlife
55:13
or Facebook.com backslash undaunted life. Check out our free devotional on the You Virgin Bible
55:17
app to search undaunted life under plans. And as always, we want to thank the band August Burns
55:22
Red for allowing us to use their entire music library for our content. The entire outro track
55:26
on this podcast is our song King of Sorrow, which is off their latest record entitled Phantom Anthem.
55:31
The links to all of this are in the description. I'm your host, Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep
55:36
cultivating manly resilience, keep forging spiritual, mental and physical toughness. Keep seeking the
55:42
Lion of Judah.