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1:18
This is on Dontit Life, a man's podcast.
1:21
I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
1:23
Let's get into it.
1:25
Welcome back to the Forging Table.
1:26
The mission of Dontit Life is equipping men to push back darkness with content that forges
1:30
spiritual, mental, and physical resilience.
1:32
At the Forging Table, you'll see a group of regular guys forging spiritual resilience
1:35
by digging into God's Word, and we're welcoming all of you to come along on that journey with
1:38
us.
1:39
That's Ryan.
1:40
That's Caleb.
1:41
That's Adam.
1:42
Guys, we're digging into Psalm 42, and we're all a little bit distracted right now because
1:45
we can smell the brisket that's resting downstairs.
1:47
So we are literally one hour away from perhaps the greatest meal in the history of mankind.
1:52
Now, three of us at this table are going to treat it as a strictly carnivore meal because
1:56
it is a 14 pound brisket.
1:58
But Ryan, as we established last week, he's got a salad ready to go, which OK, if that's
2:03
what you want to do with your life, that's fine.
2:05
We don't need to bring it back up.
2:07
But with this one, I'm curious because as I was reading through Psalm 63, did I say 42
2:13
at the beginning?
2:14
It is 42.
2:15
We are doing 42.
2:16
I'm on the wrong page.
2:17
I was like, dude, I'm--
2:18
I would edit this out, but you know, Kyle's an idiot too.
2:22
So just in case you thought I'm the only one that makes fun of other people for being
2:25
an idiot, I'm an idiot as well.
2:27
So here's the thing with Psalm 42.
2:29
I want to know-- because as I was reading this, for whatever reason, I went to the last
2:34
time that I was so unbelievably gassed out that I didn't feel like I could continue operating.
2:39
OK?
2:40
So I want to know from you guys, the last time you were physically gassed.
2:45
So that could be-- it would probably be like in some sort of a workout or sports context
2:49
or something like that.
2:50
But for you, what was the last time where you were completely gassed out?
2:54
You had nothing left.
2:55
I went on a hunting trip in Canada, and it was a backpack trip for Mountain Goat.
3:00
And this was a special trip where a lot of guys fly in or they take horses in, but this
3:06
was 100% hiking.
3:08
So I had a 70-pound pack with my backpack, tent, everything.
3:14
And we hunted for, I think it was day five by the time I was done.
3:19
And I was probably hiking 13 to 15 miles a day, and I finally harvested the animal.
3:24
And by the end, I remember getting in the tent for the last day thinking I could not hunt
3:28
tomorrow if I had to.
3:29
And I wasn't sure how I was going to get down the mountain, either.
3:32
Completely and totally gassed.
3:33
I was done.
3:34
Yeah, I remember your training for that, because you take your training seriously, but your
3:38
training for that is like, all right, we're not going to go all the way up to Canada.
3:42
We're not going to pay for the trip, like get this tag, like do this whole thing, because
3:47
you had also said that those guides every year, they have guys come out there, and they just
3:52
either don't train or they train for a week or two, and then they just assume they're
3:55
going to walk around the Canadian Rockies.
3:57
And they have guys that refuse to continue.
4:00
I mean, it is a no joke.
4:01
If you don't train for months in advance, you're totally screwed.
4:05
You cannot do what we went to go do.
4:07
Walking over deadfall, climbing these giant mountains, there's just no way you could do
4:10
it.
4:11
Yeah, you got it, nailed it.
4:12
Caleb, Ryan?
4:14
I mean, there's one that stands out in my head that was too long ago to admit, but I'll
4:18
probably say, I mean, it was similar without hunting, just hiking.
4:23
We went from, we went from 6 a.m. in Oklahoma City to 6 p.m., we're at 12,000 feet, and
4:28
that was rough.
4:29
Yeah.
4:30
And then, and then summited of 14 or the next day.
4:32
You went up 12,000 feet in one day.
4:33
Yeah.
4:34
I mean, the first several thousand was on an airplane, but, you know, still the rest.
4:38
I would have gotten sick, for sure.
4:40
Yeah, and that was the main reason.
4:42
But I mean, the next day, we felt, I mean, that was, I don't, I don't think it was quite
4:45
as bad as yours, but I'll say the most recent time was probably the last time I went to
4:49
Fight Club, which is also too long ago.
4:52
Yeah.
4:53
Also too long ago, which we can fix that.
4:55
We can remedy that very quickly, but that's the thing is, whenever I lead the workouts,
4:59
like part of the reason why I do that is because it's like, if you haven't been in here in
5:02
a while, it's like, Hey, I'm showing you what you've been missing, and I'm also showing you
5:06
the gap that there are levels to all these things and you don't want that level and those
5:09
gaps to get any bigger.
5:10
Well, I think the other reason too is like, I mean, I, I work out, I work out hard, but
5:14
I don't think unless it's someone else that's pushing you or some other like task, right?
5:20
You really can't go as far as you should.
5:22
Well, there's you can.
5:23
There's some science.
5:24
I can't remember who was talking about if it was Joe Rogan or Andrew Huberman or something
5:27
like that, but it's like, if you know what you're about to try and do, it's way easier
5:31
than when someone else is telling you how to do it.
5:34
So if I know in my head, because one of the things I would make people do is do wall
5:37
sets, well, I know how long we're going to do the wall set, but I'm the only one that
5:41
knows.
5:42
And so everyone else is suffering and they're also ignorant because they have no freaking
5:46
idea when this pain is going to end.
5:48
Whereas I'm like, Oh, we just got like 30 more seconds and everyone's like, I have no
5:51
idea which longer Kyle's going to do this.
5:53
He's such a masochist.
5:54
And so part of it is like, if you know, like what the torture is going to be, like it's,
5:58
it's going to be a little bit easier.
6:00
Yeah, Mr. Horn.
6:01
Just walking up the stairs in the studio.
6:03
Oh, no, we do not accept that answer.
6:06
Um, and there's two like fight club one time.
6:10
You, uh, I always hate it when you make us do those wall sets and then let somebody punch
6:13
us in the stomach.
6:15
Just make sure your core is tight.
6:16
It's not just for fun.
6:17
My core is not tight.
6:18
I've got a keg.
6:19
You know, I look like you got a bird christian, I'm like a bull bird christher.
6:22
That's what about, you know, make it tight.
6:23
What about when you make somebody walk over our legs as we're all on a row?
6:26
Oh, yeah.
6:27
Yeah.
6:28
Yeah.
6:29
Shout out.
6:30
If you're a coach in this room, this what you need to do.
6:31
Line everybody up on the wall, like shoulder to shoulder, have them get down into a wall set
6:35
and then have someone walk across their legs back and forth.
6:37
Yeah.
6:38
Yeah.
6:39
It's totally totally fun.
6:40
That's a good one.
6:41
But you made me do that workout and then I didn't, I don't do the jujitsu stuff.
6:44
And so he'd make me sit on a bike and do the bike, made me do the bike one time and like
6:49
kept yelling at me the whole time.
6:50
I was like, forget this.
6:51
Yeah.
6:52
That's when we had an air dying bike right off the mass.
6:54
And so it's like, all right, well, if you don't feel like throwing up, there's an air
6:56
dying bike.
6:57
So let's go and throw up and say he's like, what we do this, you're going to be on the
7:00
bike.
7:01
That's well, so for you two, it was the same place.
7:04
But the last time I felt so unbelievably gassed out because I encourage people all the time,
7:07
at least once a week, you need a red line where you're doing something, whether it's
7:11
air dying or sprints or, you know, some sort of a hit workout or something like that where
7:15
you literally feel like you redline, you couldn't have done anymore.
7:18
But the last time I felt like I literally could not have gone any faster was for one
7:24
of the, so what we do at five club is we typically are all reading the same book.
7:28
And then, you know, we talk about the book, you know, for 30 or 45 minutes, whatever the
7:31
reading was for that week.
7:33
I would lead a workout, um, which we call a warm up, which technically you do warm up,
7:37
you just warm up and stay really, really warm, someone call it hot.
7:40
But then we would do Jiu Jitsu after that.
7:43
So for whatever reason, this Sunday, I was like, all right, we're just going to do a
7:46
hundred burpees for time.
7:48
And so it's a hundred burpees as fast as you can possibly go.
7:52
And so I had done a hundred burpees as a workout several times.
7:56
And you know, I timed it like one time, it was like, you know, 10 minutes, 11 minutes,
8:00
something like that, doing a hundred burpees, but it was kind of at a kind of a reasonable
8:03
pace.
8:04
But this night, I was like, okay, I am going to empty the tank.
8:08
I'm going to do a hundred burpees and do them all perfectly.
8:12
No cheating burpees, you know, leave the ground every time I come up.
8:15
And I'm going to see if I can get a hundred burpees in under 50, five minutes.
8:20
Right.
8:21
So I kind of did the math, like how, how that would work out.
8:23
I was like, okay, if you take one deep extra deep breath, like, or take one little break,
8:28
you're not going to make it, right?
8:30
And Jermaine, you know, shout out to downtown Jermaine Brown.
8:33
He was there.
8:34
He's one of the best athletes I've ever been around.
8:35
He always looks like he's having fun when he's dying, working out.
8:38
It's just one of those things.
8:39
He's just smiling.
8:40
And yeah, you can do it.
8:41
Guys in all this bull crap.
8:42
Then so I was like, okay, he was like 10 feet away from me.
8:45
And I'm like, all right.
8:46
I got to beat him.
8:47
Like, so there's no way I'm getting beat by him.
8:50
And so I did a hundred burpees in four minutes and 59 seconds, like I got in right under.
8:56
And so I get up like I normally do, I get up and I'm like, all right, stone face, we're
9:00
just going to get up and walk around like it doesn't matter how tired you are.
9:03
You just go stone face.
9:04
I get up.
9:05
I take two steps and I go whoop and then I go right down and I just lay down on my back
9:09
for probably two minutes just to really like catch my breath and bring my heart rate down
9:13
because it was like I was trying to be cool and trying to walk it off.
9:16
There was no walking it off.
9:18
And there was Jermaine standing over you and I did it three minutes and 50 seconds.
9:22
Jermaine was like five minutes, 20, something second.
9:24
So suck at Jermaine.
9:25
All right.
9:26
I beat you that one time.
9:27
We don't have to talk about the last time we rolled you jits or anything like that.
9:29
No one cares about how that worked out.
9:31
But in burpees in that one time in history, I was able to knock it out.
9:34
If you weighed 150 pounds, you'd do a faster too.
9:36
Okay.
9:37
That's the other thing is he's like a feather.
9:39
And so it's like, you know, whenever you're showing a workout, it's like, well, if I had
9:42
a 22 inch waist and weighed like a feather pillow, what a feather pillow weighs, then
9:47
yeah, I would probably be able to do that move a lot easier as well.
9:49
We got a little bit more trunk weight over on this side of the table.
9:52
But hey, let's dig into song 42, all of that will make sense here in a second in terms
9:56
of like being completely gassed out.
9:57
So Caleb, if you can read all of song 42 and then we'll start digging in verse by verse
10:02
you bet as a deer pants for flowing streams.
10:05
So pants my soul for you, Oh God, my soul thirst, thirst for God for the living God.
10:11
When shall I come and appear before God?
10:13
My tears have been my food day and night.
10:15
While they say to me all night long, where is your God?
10:18
These things I remember as I pour out my soul, how I would go with the throng and lead
10:22
them in procession to the house of God, with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude
10:27
keeping festival.
10:28
Why are you cast down on my soul and why are you in turmoil within me, hope in God for
10:33
I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
10:36
My soul is cast down within me, therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and
10:40
of Herman and from Mount Mazzar deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls.
10:46
All your breakers and your waves have gone over me by the Lord by day the Lord commands
10:51
his steadfast love and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
10:56
I say to God, my rock, why have you forgotten me?
10:59
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
11:03
As with the deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taught me while they say to me all day long,
11:08
where is your God?
11:09
Why are you cast down on my soul and why are you in turmoil within me, hope in God for
11:13
I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
11:17
So this is a good song for whatever reason if you're like a new King James or King James
11:21
person.
11:22
This is like a fun one to read.
11:23
I probably should have made you do that, but the ESV is also fantastic.
11:26
But we have a very experienced deer hunter in our midst.
11:30
So Mr. Smith over here has put a lot of poor innocent babies to their final moments, right?
11:37
And so a lot of arrows and a lot of bullets have taken out these poor innocent animals.
11:41
How dare you, you unbelievable beast.
11:43
But when we read this song, because I remember Joby the first time he pointed this out,
11:48
I'm like, oh my gosh, I've been reading this like a dumber this entire time because it's
11:52
like, I think of a deer just standing by a stream, you know, this beautiful 12 point
11:56
buck just, you know, standing by a stream.
11:58
But this is saying the deer is panting, right?
12:01
So Adam, in your extensive experience chasing white tail all over these United States, in
12:05
what circumstances have you ever witnessed a deer pant?
12:09
Usually when a buck is chasing a doe trying to breeder, right?
12:12
Turns a lot or whenever they are incredibly thirsty that and predation, right?
12:19
So if you've seen like, cause we've seen a like different trail cams when you've got
12:23
a cat that's trying to take down a deer, or if you're hunting and people are kind of
12:27
a little bit loud hunting or something like that, and the deer is actually like running
12:30
for their life and you see a deer that is like completely wasted, exhausted.
12:35
But like, I've never really thought about that until someone pointed out, they're like,
12:40
Hey, deer's don't just pant.
12:42
I just said, deer.
12:43
Yeah.
12:44
Sorry, you know, plural.
12:45
The plural for deer.
12:46
It's them dang deer.
12:47
It's like, yeah.
12:48
But like, um, that's one of those things is like when you read certain things, it's just
12:52
you need someone else to point out like, no, like this is one of those moments where he's
12:55
so exhausted that he might die.
12:58
That's what he's describing.
12:59
And I miss that point.
13:00
Yeah.
13:01
When I first read it, because like I'm reading it and I'm thinking of the deer panting, like
13:04
I'm thinking the deer is getting to the water.
13:06
Like this is exactly like the note that I wrote down.
13:08
I'm thinking of a majestic scene of this beautiful green forest where this little pond lies and
13:13
here comes a deer searching for a stream because it's so thirsty and thankfulness.
13:17
And then you go into my tears have been my food.
13:21
Where is your God?
13:22
And like out of nowhere, here comes Adam and just blows this deer right before he could
13:25
take a drink out of the water, not Adam of Adam and Eve fame, but Adam of killing deer
13:30
fame right here.
13:31
Yeah.
13:32
I was like, I was like, man, that's like, this guy's like falling apart.
13:35
Yeah.
13:36
Like he's he's thirsty, he's hungry, but like I've been reading the explicit gospel again,
13:41
you know, and Matt Chandler brings up this verse, this exact verse and he's like a deer
13:46
pants for water.
13:47
Why don't we pant for God like that anymore?
13:49
We do not search for God like we used to.
13:52
And like I found that so convicting when reading this verse.
13:56
That's good.
13:58
What kind of deer do you think it was?
14:00
Was it a white tail or a mule deer?
14:02
Well, I mean, Mr. Horn over here.
14:05
He killed his first deer last year during last season out at Adam's hunting land.
14:10
Did.
14:11
So I've never killed one.
14:13
You're up this year, my friend.
14:14
This is it.
14:15
I'm ready.
14:16
Yeah.
14:17
Yes.
14:18
So I was told you only killed those this time when I was going over there.
14:21
So I got dough tags and he found out I hadn't killed anything and he's like, get a buck tag
14:25
because you're shooting the first thing you see, which was like, I know it's brownest
14:27
downs.
14:28
Yeah.
14:29
Yeah.
14:30
He killed a poor baby coyote.
14:31
And that was like, I've never looked, I've never seen a guy look so defeated because you
14:35
dragging that coyote into the forest.
14:36
It was it was World War II because didn't you kill a pig, a coyote and a buck on the
14:41
first day?
14:42
I just killed a buck.
14:43
It was a yearling too.
14:44
So what Kyle would call a dough.
14:46
So they say I shot a button book before.
14:50
So like I don't have any room to talk.
14:52
Yeah.
14:53
I should have hunted in my life.
14:54
Oh, dude.
14:55
It's my dad.
14:56
Never did it.
14:57
We're fixing that this year, my friend.
14:58
Okay.
14:59
But you have no aversion to hunting.
15:00
No, not at all.
15:01
You just haven't had the opportunity.
15:02
I want to kill him with my bare hands.
15:03
Oh, man.
15:04
You might start with a rifle.
15:05
You might just see how that goes and then we can put you in a tree with a spear.
15:09
Yeah.
15:10
Kyle's going to make me clean my own deer next year.
15:12
Yeah.
15:13
See, that was the one thing.
15:14
So because, you know, it's the baby steps, right?
15:15
So you shoot this little yearling doesn't matter.
15:17
So that's one of the cool things, you know, you know, Adam, like you're very, very generous
15:22
with your knowledge of hunting because you've hunted your entire life.
15:24
I started hunting in my mid twenties.
15:26
Ryan started hunting last year.
15:27
Caleb started hunting this year today.
15:29
And so like you're, you give knowledge, but also there are people that get really, really
15:35
stingy and they have so many rules so that when someone comes and hunts for the first
15:39
time, you're so nervous the entire time because you're like, Oh, gosh, is this rule 17 or
15:44
18 or did this guy even say I shouldn't do this?
15:47
But for you, you have a rule that, Hey, if this is your first time hunting and it comes
15:52
out, you shoot it.
15:53
If it's brown, it's down and like it takes all of the, cause I feel that angst now since
15:58
I've killed a decent sized, uh, you know, buck to where it's like, okay, you can't just
16:02
shoot anything that that comes out of the woods.
16:05
It's like, okay, that's maybe that's not a shooter.
16:07
Hey, let's let that one go.
16:09
Let's, you know, but whenever it's your first time, you're just, you're thinking, okay,
16:12
how do I do this without shooting myself literally in the foot or just making some sort of mistake
16:17
or wounding an animal and not taking it down?
16:19
So that's a cool thing that you do in terms of your approach and it's very, very inviting
16:23
for people that come and hunt with you.
16:24
All these trophy hunters, they want to grow the biggest deer they possibly can and they
16:28
they lose the aspect that it's supposed to be a fun and enjoyable and exciting thing.
16:33
And when somebody hasn't done it before, you need to foster that and you need to make sure
16:39
that they have an enjoyable time, they have fun.
16:42
And that means whatever comes out, if they want to shoot that, shoot it.
16:44
It's great.
16:45
And that's the great thing that I love about you, Adam, is you're so patient with people.
16:49
You're so patient.
16:50
Like even Matt, like you guys are so patient with me and I'm, I'm an idiot.
16:53
So it was, it was awesome, but at a great time, didn't make you feel less pressure because
16:57
you're already under pressure because you're doing something that you've never done.
17:01
And here's the other thing, you're very successful in your career.
17:04
You've got a good family.
17:05
You got a lot of people that love you and respect you, but you are a white belt at hunting,
17:10
right?
17:11
I am a white belt.
17:12
Like you're a black belt and all these other different things and same thing for you Caleb.
17:15
Very successful for beautiful children, lovely wife and family and like a lot of people like
17:19
look to you for leadership and different things, but you're a white belt at hunting.
17:23
And so.
17:24
Was before a white belt.
17:25
Nothing.
17:26
Like dead people.
17:27
That's what's before like complete losers.
17:28
That's what, but it's like you're, you've gotten in the game and so, but your next step
17:32
is not only getting another deer, but it's cleaning it yourself and like, you know, dealing
17:37
with the guts and figuring out the different cuts of meat and things like that, maybe even
17:41
butchering the entire thing because you didn't really do that last year, wasn't really something
17:45
you were comfortable with.
17:46
But it's like, okay, well, now you've, you've, you're going to have a year of like getting
17:50
more use to that process.
17:51
And so I'm curious for you, Caleb.
17:53
So I know why, why I had never hunted until I was an adult, but for you, like what has
17:58
been the reason, like as an Okey having lived here, basically your entire, well here in
18:02
Kansas and different things like that, like how have you not gone hunting before?
18:06
I think it was just because my dad was never into it.
18:08
Yeah.
18:09
You know, I mean, and actually ironically, like I've, I've been on hunts in Kansas.
18:13
They hunted, I mean, it was a ton of like pheasant quail.
18:16
So I had buddies that had dogs and we went, I mean, I was, I was there, but I just never,
18:21
never went to like the kid, like, you know, what, hunter safety course or all that stuff.
18:25
Like, and I've got four boys.
18:27
So I'm like, I'd really want them to have the option, at least, you know, and like I've
18:31
tons of friends that do it.
18:32
I mean, family that doesn't, I mean, I even have Northwest Oklahoma, I don't know what
18:36
you hunt up there, but tons of land up there, like all of it.
18:39
So you just never, he never did it.
18:41
So you never pass it on.
18:43
I gave everyone.
18:44
All right.
18:45
So I keep having these things for everyone that comes on the forging table.
18:48
So like I told everyone by December 31st of 2024, everyone at the forging table should
18:53
be able to do 10 pull ups, right?
18:55
So we have some people that are on, on there, but maybe the thing for 2025 is everyone has
18:59
to have killed an animal legally, right now, you know, not just, not just, yeah, there's
19:04
a neighbor's dog.
19:05
That's really annoying.
19:06
So it's like, does that count?
19:07
Okay.
19:08
So maybe we'll do that.
19:09
But it's awesome that you've admitted that, but like, dude, now that you've admitted it, you
19:12
got a bunch of people that are going to hold your feet to the fire.
19:14
We're going to get after it.
19:15
We're going to get you something.
19:16
You got to ban it.
19:17
Let's do it.
19:18
You got the invite.
19:19
We'll get you out there.
19:20
All right.
19:21
I try to bring at least one person every year that has never been hunting before to my place
19:25
to harvest a year.
19:26
And it's either, you know, an older person or it might be a kid either way, but you're
19:30
it.
19:31
You got it.
19:32
Yes.
19:33
I got last year.
19:34
So you got this year.
19:35
Well, yeah, you're, you're like an old wily veteran now, like you're Elmer Fudd, essentially
19:37
at this point.
19:38
So look like.
19:39
Well, you know, you said it.
19:40
But hey, guys, before we continue, because there's a lot of great stuff here with Psalm
19:44
42, just wanted to remind you that we've got a couple of resources for you.
19:47
Check it out in the show notes.
19:48
But if you want to start your own forging table crossways, partner with us to do a forging
19:52
table starter set, there are five amazing books that will help you get started with
19:56
your own forging table.
19:57
That is in the show notes.
19:58
You can get all of those books for 50% off and the Logos Bible software, which is one of
20:02
the most incredible computer programs period that I've ever dealt with in my entire life.
20:07
But they have the best Bible study program on planet earth.
20:11
Ryan's used it before.
20:12
You know, we've had a lot of pastors that are kind of in our orbit that use a Logos Bible
20:15
software, but you can get the software at a discount if you use a link that is in our
20:19
show notes.
20:20
Go there and check that out.
20:21
But I want to dig into verses two and three and Ryan, you talked about it just a little
20:23
bit, but verses two and three, my soul thirst for God for the living God, right?
20:28
So not some, you know, dead God, not the God described in any other book, but for the living
20:31
God.
20:32
When shall I come and appear before God?
20:34
My tears have been my food day and night while they say to me, all the day long, where's
20:39
your God?
20:40
Okay.
20:41
My tears have been my food day and night.
20:45
What a brutal, sad, just completely full of anguish line that is.
20:51
And so I want to talk about it even just a little bit deeper because we talked about
20:54
last week, you know, the valley of the shadow of death and we all brought up a story about
20:58
our children.
21:00
And as Joby says, you know, there's no pain like kid pain and, you know, all those different
21:03
things, but there was a situation that I was going through in my life where, well, I'll
21:08
put it this way.
21:09
There is a, a kind of a folk country singer guy named Dylan Gossett.
21:14
He has a song called flip a coin.
21:16
And so, you know, I'm just getting ready or something like that.
21:19
And I'm literally, I'm in the value of the shadow of death, right?
21:22
And I'm just like, you're trying to make it to the next hour, right?
21:24
I'm just trying to find the energy and the whatever to make it to the next hour.
21:29
And I'm just, you know, I just have music going while I'm getting ready for the day
21:31
or whatever.
21:32
So there's a line in his song flip a coin called sometimes we're living just to die.
21:38
And I can't really explain it.
21:40
But in that moment, I just start blubbering.
21:42
So there's different categories of crying.
21:45
There's crying, right?
21:46
So, you know, dog dies in a movie and, you know, just single tear, right?
21:50
Roles down your cheek, right?
21:51
So there's crying.
21:52
There's like sobbing, right?
21:54
You know, maybe your dog died here, another dog died story, but maybe, you know, someone
21:58
really close to you dies and you're just uncontrollably sobbing and you're just heaving
22:02
and in that type of thing.
22:03
But like blubbering is where he's like, and it was in that moment.
22:09
It's funny now looking back at it, but in that moment, I was so sad and I was sad to
22:15
the point of death.
22:16
I'd even told one of my foxhole buddies, I'm like, I just, I just want to die.
22:20
Like I'm so sad.
22:21
I just want to die.
22:22
I don't want to feel the way I feel anymore.
22:25
And then a song I had heard before, a line that I had heard before literally hit me square
22:31
between the eyes.
22:32
And then whenever, you know, not long thereafter, I read Psalm 42 and I read my tears have been
22:36
my food day and night, man, you don't understand how beautiful God is and how we went in the
22:43
end, unless you've gone through that valley of the shadow of death.
22:46
And so man, it's just right here again in Psalm 42.
22:50
I think J. Mac basically says like David right now is in severe divine drought.
22:54
So it's like on last week's episode, you talked about, Hey man, I delayed sanctification.
23:00
So like he's in a divine drought right now, like maybe he's going through life and he's
23:03
not, he's like, God, where are you?
23:05
Why aren't you here?
23:06
I'm drowning.
23:07
It's basically what he's saying.
23:09
And I'm thirsty for you, but I don't feel you here and it's like, where are we, what are
23:13
we doing in our life that we're not putting him first?
23:16
And we're not, we're not panting for him like we, a deer would pant for water.
23:21
And why are we sitting in the divine drought that we are sitting in?
23:24
So I, I really make you think is like, is this God moving away from him?
23:29
Because that's what he's kind of pointing to, or was he moving away from God is now coming
23:34
back to the altar.
23:36
Right.
23:37
What about you guys, what do you think?
23:41
I mean, just the, the wind shall I come and appear before God is what stands out to me.
23:45
Right.
23:46
It's just the, I mean, we've, we've said it.
23:47
You've said it, but just the, the longing for, for really, for death or the afterlife,
23:52
right?
23:53
For heaven.
23:54
What he has in store for us.
23:55
So, I mean, it's, I've never felt that way.
23:58
But, you know, I can see, I mean, having been around it, you know, with grandparents and
24:03
things like that.
24:04
And you can see where you get to that point, but that's obviously not the point he's at
24:07
in his life.
24:09
So it just, I mean, it stands out.
24:11
I think the hard part about this is it just gets progressively worse that deer is panting.
24:17
My soul thirst for God.
24:18
When can I go meet God?
24:20
Please.
24:21
I need to go meet him.
24:22
My tears have been my food.
24:23
Where is God?
24:25
People around me are saying, where is your God?
24:27
You know, it's like putting the knife in and now they're going to twist it.
24:30
Job.
24:31
You know, exactly.
24:32
Right.
24:33
The thing I have a question for is you're sitting in that, you know, you're blubbering,
24:36
you're crying.
24:38
And the one thing that pointed out to me is I pour out my soul to God.
24:42
You pour out your, did you pour out your soul?
24:45
Well, so let's actually dig in.
24:46
Let's go to verse four, which is where you're bringing that up.
24:48
So these things.
24:49
Sorry, I have it through one and four.
24:50
No, this is great.
24:51
So these things, I remember as I pour out my soul, how I would go with the throng and
24:54
lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude,
25:00
keeping festival.
25:01
Okay.
25:02
So having a worshipful heart while in the depths of despair, I am horrible about this,
25:10
admittedly terrible about this.
25:12
And so the example that I use, so like the easy thing is when people hear, you know, praise
25:17
or songs of praise, they obviously think of worship music.
25:19
Okay.
25:20
So I know people that when they're angry or when they're so frustrated or when they're
25:24
in their own personal value, the shadow of death, what brings them comfort is positive,
25:29
encouraging.
25:30
K love, right?
25:31
They just turn that on and it is just gosh, it is Kari Job and then it's Phil Wickham
25:36
and then it's Hillsong and then it's Bethel and then it's just boom, boom, boom, hidden
25:40
in the fields.
25:41
It's 74 courses followed by a bridge and another chorus and then they get the commercials that
25:46
are also positive.
25:47
God, that's all that happens.
25:49
I listen to the most angry, rough, brutal music possible when I'm angry because when
25:57
I'm angry, I'm like, all right, mother efforts, I'm going to be really angry.
26:01
Like that's just kind of where I go.
26:03
Like that's where all that ginger energy goes.
26:05
It's like, oh, you think I'm mad, let's show you some mad.
26:08
Let's listen to a song about a bat being thrown at a baby or something like it's just the
26:13
most angry thing that you can possibly think of.
26:16
And do you know how much that helps me?
26:18
Zero.
26:19
Not at all.
26:20
You know what it makes me more angry farther away from God in those moments because they
26:25
get admittedly some of these bands, some of them have, you know, satanic, you know, lyrics
26:30
or things that are tied to witchcraft or to murder or to all kinds of things.
26:35
But in that moment, it's the angriest stuff that I know of in existence.
26:38
So that's what I'm going to put in.
26:39
And so that's one of my big things is, you know, gosh, this deer is panting for the water.
26:44
His soul is thirsty is, you know, his tears have fed him and sustained him throughout
26:49
the night, but then with glad shouts and songs of praise and multitude, keeping festival,
26:53
like that's where he's leading towards.
26:55
I'm just so bad with it.
26:56
Like I don't know how it is for you guys, but like I'm a, it's bad.
27:00
Let's make it 20% worse and just to show everybody that I can endure this as well.
27:04
Not healthy, but admittedly, that's what I do.
27:07
Same.
27:08
I mean, I just want to break things, you know, and it's like I'm, I'm pretty cool calm.
27:13
And then I'm not.
27:14
And then it's like, don't get in front of me.
27:16
I've never seen the other side, Caleb, like I'm curious.
27:19
Okay.
27:20
Not very many people have, but unfortunately it's only the ones closest to me, right?
27:24
Yeah.
27:25
There's holes in the wall, but I mean, the, as I pour out my soul, like that's the part
27:31
I've always struggled with, meaning like when the house I grew up in, it was like, don't
27:37
have your feelings out playing with them.
27:39
That's how people get hurt, you know?
27:41
So it was really just stuff it down.
27:44
And it's been a, I mean, it's like a 20 year thing just trying to, I mean, I don't, for
27:49
the sake of sounding soft, like to get in touch with that, right?
27:52
It's just been a struggle.
27:55
It always has.
27:56
I feel, I feel the same in what Kyle, what you were saying, I feel like were you saying
28:00
with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throwing, that's the part that you're not
28:04
good at?
28:05
I'm horrible at it.
28:06
Okay.
28:07
I agree.
28:08
You are terrible.
28:09
Shut your mouth.
28:10
Please, this is my table.
28:11
What I was going to say is God, as I pour out my soul, as I pour out my soul, you are
28:17
very good at that, especially with the guys around this table.
28:20
And you are vulnerable and you've always been open with the things that you're fighting
28:24
with and the things that you're wrestling with way more vulnerable than I can be.
28:28
So you and I both struggle in that side.
28:31
You're strong in that side.
28:33
That's more like when stuff like, like that sort of thing happens to me, you just won't
28:36
be able to find me.
28:37
Right.
28:38
I'll be gone.
28:39
You know, so I didn't used to be that way, honestly, Adam, you know, Matt Graspmeyer brought
28:46
up something a few months ago on the forging table where he, you know, our group is trying
28:50
to break the attendance record for a women's soccer game, collegiate soccer game.
28:53
And we, all the, all the, you know, pins were set up.
28:57
We were going to knock it down.
28:58
We were going to obliterate this record.
28:59
And then we had like tornado warning, torrential downpour, lightning games canceled.
29:05
And I couldn't be found.
29:06
I went to some random corner of the stadium and I just sat.
29:09
I didn't like sit there and cry.
29:10
I was just so mad that I couldn't fathom being around somebody and not just like being
29:16
completely consumed with anger.
29:18
And so I would just hide.
29:19
And the way that I, you know, I don't know how it is for you, Caleb, but the way that
29:22
I kind of qualified it in my brain is if I'm around somebody right now, I'm going to say
29:26
and do things that I regret.
29:28
So I'm just going to go hide.
29:29
I'm going to Scott's Irish, this anger, and I'm just going to shove it down deep into
29:32
my belly and not deal with it.
29:34
And so where I kind of came to, and I don't know that it was a conscious decision, Adam,
29:38
to where it's like, okay, I'm telling people they need a foxhole.
29:41
I'm telling people that they need to trust the guys around them.
29:43
I'm telling them that they need to get up under the weight and shoulder some of the burden
29:47
that's on the bar on some for some of these other guys.
29:49
Well, if you're going to be a guy like that, or if you're going to accept that from other
29:53
people, you need to be a guy like that for other people as well.
29:56
And I can't have y'all shoulder my burden.
29:59
If you don't know what it is, it's kind of like these people and, you know, not anyone
30:02
in particular, like someone maybe in our Sunday school where every week the prayer request
30:06
is unspoken.
30:07
It's like, okay, help me understand what exactly you're going through.
30:11
This unspoken prayer nonsense, like that doesn't help anybody because perhaps God is setting
30:16
me up to help answer the prayer, the thing that you're struggling with to provide a pathway
30:22
for you out of some sort of plight that has befallen you or that you've brought upon yourself.
30:26
And so for me, I guess I've just like, for better or for worse, I'm going to let you
30:31
know exactly what's on my mind and exactly what I'm going through.
30:35
And I'm not going to spare any detail.
30:37
And I don't share for dramatic sake.
30:39
I share to be like, this is exactly what I'm up against.
30:42
This is exactly how I'm struggling, please help.
30:45
You mentioned that in our Sunday school at one point when you got up and you spoke and
30:48
you talked about the importance of we're not just here as a small group of people to get
30:53
together and have fun with each other.
30:54
We need to bury each other's burdens and in order to do that, it's going to get messy.
30:58
And we need to bring up that mess and we need to be able to comfortable and feel safe in
31:02
this setting that maybe there's something that you've gone through before that helps
31:07
me learn that I had no idea that you've done that before.
31:10
And I think it's good that we pour out our souls to each other.
31:13
But I think what this passage is getting at is do we pour out our souls to God, right?
31:17
Like you're in that position, you're great at pouring out your soul to us.
31:22
But how are you in pouring out your soul to God?
31:24
Like when you were in that whole mindset of like, it's not worth living, like, I don't
31:28
want to feel this pain anymore.
31:30
Like, were you pouring that out to God and were you seeking Him in that?
31:34
And that's what I think that's what we're trying to get at here is like, it's, I can
31:38
tell you the times that like I've been a blubbery mess, like my marriage was on the rocks.
31:44
I was a horrible person who talked about himself and the third person was a total divag, you
31:49
know.
31:50
And there was a time that I just broke down in the shower and said, God, who am I?
31:53
I felt like, like, you ever seen the other guys where Will Ferrell, you know, like Will
31:58
Ferrell's like, I guess like a pimp at a college, like inadvertently becomes one named Gator.
32:04
And like, there's a time where he just like, you see this like clean cut guy, and then
32:09
throughout college, he starts doing this stuff.
32:11
And then the end, you know, he's talking about how you met his wife in the hospital and he's
32:14
got like this gun and these gold teeth and he's like, uh, like life is just horrible.
32:18
And he's like, you was what you're saying?
32:20
Yeah, I was teeth.
32:21
No, I didn't have a gun or a gold teeth, but I was just like, I was broken down.
32:24
I was a broken down human being.
32:26
And I, I was trying to find, um, I was just trying to find comfort and other things could
32:32
be alcohol, women, or what, but I was not finding that comfort in God.
32:36
I was not pouring myself out to God.
32:37
I was pouring myself out to other people.
32:39
And that's a good thing.
32:40
I think that we should pour ourselves out to our brothers, especially when we're trying
32:44
to go through things, but we shouldn't learn to pour ourselves out to God.
32:47
So I'm glad you actually brought that up because well, one quick thing, let me go back to
32:51
the comment that Adam made.
32:52
So whenever I was speaking in front of our Sunday school, which Caleb, you're the only
32:55
one here at this table that doesn't come to our Sunday school.
32:56
What's the deal?
32:57
Why, why don't you like us?
32:58
Come on.
32:59
But, uh, part of the thing is, is we go, we all go to the same church.
33:03
It's in the affluent part of town, in the most affluent city in this, in the state, and everyone
33:10
is perfect, right?
33:11
All the men are successful in business and all their shirts have no wrinkles on them.
33:15
All the women have, you know, they're perfectly put together, right?
33:20
Some of them, like anyway, we'll skip on.
33:23
But the kids are always behaving like everyone looks amazing, like our church is gorgeous,
33:28
right?
33:29
Like it is just a minefield for anybody that's got problems with, you know, voyeurism,
33:33
male or female, right?
33:35
But the level of depravity in our city is so astonishingly high because you know what
33:40
comes along with that?
33:41
What comes along with the perfectly manicured lawns and, you know, the detailed escalates
33:46
and all those different things are when the 14 year old daughter gets pregnant, the family
33:51
has the means to make sure that that problem goes away.
33:55
And the girl misses a week of school because she's sick and then no one has to learn about
33:59
what their daughter did a lawsuit comes and they've got the lawyers and the people on
34:05
retainer to make sure that that doesn't get into into the news cycle so that they don't
34:09
look bad.
34:10
Like, you know, the drinking, the, the, you know, use it, use of illicit drugs, the swinging,
34:15
like the all these kinds of things, these things happen all over the place in our community
34:20
and at our church.
34:21
I don't know about the swingers.
34:22
I haven't seen any pineapple shirts walking around except for one that one time.
34:25
But like, we, we have those things and I had just gotten so fed up with it.
34:30
And here I was in my own personal value, the shadow of death and I'm in this, this room
34:34
with all these beautiful people and some of them had helped shoulder the burden and some
34:38
hadn't.
34:39
And I was just like, you know what, if this is a social club, go join Kiwanis or go,
34:43
go join like some, you know, something where you can just pretend where you can just show
34:48
up, eat your, you know, lukewarm cheese and meat from the charcuterie table and then just
34:53
move on with your life an hour and a half later.
34:55
But it's like, if we're going to be an ecclesia, if we're going to be a community of believers
34:58
that are there for each other, we have to freaking be there for each other.
35:02
And I can't help you shoulder your burden.
35:03
If you pretend like you got it going on and nothing's going wrong, I can't help you do
35:07
that.
35:08
And so with what you were saying, Ryan, with the pouring out your soul to God, another
35:13
thing that I'm not great at because it's a lot easier to just call one of you knuckleheads
35:17
and you say, hey, come on over.
35:19
I've asked a guard and whiskey, can you listen to me lament for a little bit?
35:23
Because I don't know if it's like, I feel like, hey, God's busy.
35:25
He's got, he's got stuff going on.
35:27
Like there are people literally starving to death right now.
35:29
And like my life's just kind of mildly falling apart.
35:31
Like this isn't really his concern.
35:33
But I will say there was a time in my life where I went to, I went to a church that's
35:38
kind of like a come to the altar type church, right?
35:41
So some churches are very much like, don't get out of your freaking seats.
35:43
We're just like, and certainly don't raise your hands or worship.
35:46
But like this was like, hey, when the sermon's done, we're just going to open up the altar.
35:51
Right.
35:52
So if you've met Christ for the first time or chose Christ or Christ shows you and you
35:55
just now realize that whatever your theological persuasion, come on down and talk to us about
35:59
that.
36:00
But also if you've got a burden, if you're heavy, and I mean at this church, like there's literally
36:03
like knee pads, like that line the front of the church, right?
36:07
So like you can get in there and get after it.
36:09
And so I go and I don't think I've talked about this on the show before, but I'm sitting
36:13
front row at this church.
36:14
And from the moment I walked into the service, I was looking at the altar because I was going
36:18
through it, man.
36:19
I was, I was going through the valley of the shadow of death.
36:22
And I'm just looking at that altar and I'm just like, and I'd also be open it was church
36:26
11 22.
36:27
Okay.
36:28
So, you know, it was Joby's church, San Pablo campus.
36:29
There I am in Jacksonville.
36:30
Okay.
36:31
So for anybody wondering, there you go.
36:32
And so during the worship set, I'm just staring at the altar.
36:35
I'm like, should I go down there?
36:38
That's kind of weird.
36:39
It's kind of public.
36:40
People kind of know you're, you don't really have it going on.
36:42
And then the entire time during the sermon, Joby wasn't preaching this particular night.
36:46
And you know, the whole time he's talking, I'm like, man, when he's done, I know he's
36:49
going to invite people to the altar.
36:50
What am I going to do?
36:51
And so for whatever reason, whenever he invited people to come to the altar, I'm like, okay,
36:55
okay, okay.
36:56
You can do it.
36:57
You can do it.
36:58
You can do it.
36:59
You can do it.
37:00
And it's one of those moments where in my head, that was only like a five second internal
37:01
dialogue, but it was probably a little bit longer because by the time my body started moving
37:05
toward the altar, a bunch of people were already there, right?
37:08
So I was in the front row.
37:09
People came down from like the rafters, right?
37:10
And so they're already, they had beat me to the altar.
37:13
And so I go to like the squeeze in right next to this guy and it's like you've got the stage
37:18
and then it's this guy.
37:19
And I completely misjudged how big that guy is, how big I am and how big the space is
37:23
between us and the stage.
37:24
And so I end up having to like squeeze a me, but my body into this space between this very
37:29
large human man and, you know, the stage.
37:32
And I get there and I'm uncomfortable because I'm up there.
37:35
I'm uncomfortable because I'm squished and I'm already distracted.
37:39
I feel like Satan's all over me like, God, you weirdo.
37:43
What are you doing?
37:44
Going to the altar.
37:45
Like, do you know how many people know you here, like how many people listen to your
37:48
show and now they see you down here, like a weakling on your knees.
37:52
And somehow I push all that out and I just start, just start trying to pray and start
37:57
being like, God, what are you trying to show me right now?
37:59
Like what, what is happening right now?
38:01
How is this?
38:02
How is all of this happening right now?
38:03
And then at some point I feel a couple of hands on my shoulders and they felt like some
38:07
beefy man hands and so I'm like, all right, well, somebody's here in this fight with me,
38:10
all right.
38:11
And then it was kind of in that moment.
38:12
I just kind of broke down and I really did pour out my soul to God and just said, okay,
38:18
no more, no more cockiness, no more ego, no more me, no more dawned life, no more bush
38:24
back darkness, none of that stuff.
38:26
And I just kind of let her rip.
38:28
And then I've come to find out the hands that were on me were Joby's and he was praying
38:33
over me in that moment and he started to pray out loud.
38:35
And then I lost it even more because it's like he's got crap to do.
38:39
He's got things on his calendar and here he is with his hands on me because he knows
38:42
I'm going through it right now.
38:45
And it was in that moment that I poured my heart and soul out to God, but think about
38:49
the road to get there.
38:51
Like I had to get on a plane.
38:52
I had to go to a church service.
38:54
I had to give myself a pep talk for an hour, you know, like, am I going to do this?
38:58
Am I going to do this?
38:59
And then finally I had to like move my body to go and do it.
39:01
And it's like, gosh, I should not have had that much of a of a runway to get to that
39:06
outcome.
39:07
Like I'm glad that it happened.
39:08
It was a positive thing overall for the season that I was in.
39:12
But man, all I could think now in this moment is like, I'm glad that I did that, but gosh,
39:17
why wasn't that?
39:18
Why is it this more common?
39:19
Why didn't I get there faster?
39:20
It's a great like example of the Christian walk and how we walk as Christians like we
39:25
have to let those things go.
39:28
We have to give it to God and it's so hard to do.
39:31
It's so hard when we want to control everything and we want to not seem that we seem like
39:37
we not have it all together, but we don't, you know, like you guys, you guys will get
39:41
on me about the tulips, like, you know, grass, Mars, centers, texts, like tulip fields and
39:45
stuff like that.
39:46
But the biggest thing that brought me to my knees is total depravity and just realizing
39:51
that I am a depraved human being.
39:53
I'm a sinner, no different than other sinners and that I, they need a savior and I need
39:59
a savior just as much, even though I may feel like I'm not, I need them, I need him just
40:03
as much and you needed him just as much.
40:06
And it's like you finally surrendered it all and went up to that altar and you poured
40:11
your heart out to him and that's what he wanted, you know, and like, you know, whatever situation
40:15
you're going through, maybe that's why God put you through it.
40:18
I don't know, you know, but what I do know is that what came out of that is you poured
40:23
your heart out to him and, and he was there.
40:26
So and it's beautiful.
40:27
I think it's beautiful, man.
40:28
It almost brought a tear to my eyes.
40:29
I'm not, I'm not going, what was it, a blubbering, but I mean, like, please no blubbering at
40:34
the table, right?
40:35
It takes too long to come.
40:36
No, but yeah, I'm not going to blubber, but no, man, it was just, it's a beautiful thing
40:39
to hear, man.
40:40
And it's, and I've been there.
40:41
I've been there twice, you know, it's like in every time I've, I've been there, I've had
40:46
to come to the conclusion that I am so full of myself and you're talking to a guy who gave
40:51
himself his own nickname, you know, twice, twice.
40:54
Yeah.
40:55
The other one was a joke.
40:56
Including last week.
40:57
Nope.
40:58
We all remembered it happening.
40:59
It was, well, it was because it was because Joby said, well, John gave himself his own
41:03
nickname.
41:04
That's true.
41:05
So, but I am nowhere near John.
41:06
John does it.
41:07
If John does it, I guess you can do it.
41:08
No, I'm nowhere near John, but no, but like I was, it was the arrogance that I had and
41:11
the arrogance that I carried.
41:13
And sometimes it's, you know, God takes that arrogance and it's, and it's a great thing
41:16
when he does.
41:17
I'm glad that you said you've been there twice because I feel the same way.
41:20
It's like you get, you get to that moment and then eventually it's going to happen
41:24
again.
41:25
Mm-hmm.
41:26
It's going to happen again.
41:27
Same thing with you, Kyle.
41:28
At some point, you know, you've accomplished that and you've climbed that mountain.
41:31
There's going to be more mountains.
41:32
And that's why we need to have the group that we've got to continue to forge through that.
41:36
I mean, it's a, it's a good place for us to go.
41:38
You know, it doesn't always have to be when we're in the valley.
41:41
That's true.
41:42
Right.
41:43
I mean, it was, it was, I was listening to a Tim Keller deal on, on this on chapter 42.
41:50
And he said, he actually titled this talking to yourself, not listening to yourself.
41:55
Meaning, like kind of what you were dealing with, Kyle, which is like, if we listen to
41:59
ourselves, like, just like in verse five here, like it's usually a lot of pretty negative
42:04
self talk, right?
42:06
Whereas like if we're, if we're talking to ourselves, we can remind ourselves and speak
42:11
truth to ourselves.
42:13
That's like, no, pouring out my soul is a good thing, right?
42:16
Singing shouts of praise is a good thing.
42:18
Like this is who you are.
42:19
This is what we need to do.
42:21
And just watching like, or seeing what verse five is talking about here with the turmoil
42:25
he's in.
42:26
I mean, even when we go to the Lord and prayer and it's just like, I don't know what's wrong
42:30
with me.
42:31
You know, I'm not, I'm not feeling like I'm close to you in any way.
42:35
I mean, all that stuff is good just to pour the soul out.
42:38
So.
42:39
Well, I don't know about you guys, but my internal dialogue is like dog water.
42:44
It is, it is terrible and so like no one has said something meaner to me than I have said
42:50
to me.
42:51
Like it is just terrible.
42:53
But when you're pouring yourself out to God, you're pouring those feelings into the ultimate
42:57
filter of like, did I make somebody that like that, like the man that you just described
43:04
that you are?
43:05
Did, did I, did I do that?
43:06
Did I, did I make you to be that man?
43:08
Oh, I didn't.
43:09
And so like, you know, when God speaks to me, he speaks to me kind of like a sarcastic coach
43:13
where he's just kind of like, Oh, was that the play that I called?
43:15
Are you sure that was the play that I called?
43:17
Because when you got the ball, you did something that didn't seem to make sense and it didn't
43:20
quite work out.
43:21
Did it?
43:22
So it's kind of like how God talks to Job and the good, were you there, were you there
43:26
when I did all of this?
43:27
Like slow your role champ, like, you know, one of those things.
43:30
Well, the other thing we have to, we have to think about is like, I think John Owen said
43:33
it best.
43:34
He's like, let our hearts admit I am poor and weak and Satan is too subtle, too cutting,
43:38
too powerful.
43:39
He watches constantly for advantages over my soul.
43:42
The world presses it presses in upon me with all sorts of pressure, please, and pretenses.
43:49
My own corruption is violent, tumultuous, enticing, and entangling and it conceives sin.
43:54
It wars within me and against me, occasions and opportunities for temptations are immeasurable.
44:01
No wonder I do not know how deeply involved I have been with sin.
44:04
Therefore, on God alone, I will rely for my keeping.
44:08
I will continually look to him.
44:10
Like, that was something that like, I heard that the second time I was going through my
44:16
season and it's just like, man, I, I have to admit my sin.
44:20
I have to admit where I'm at and I have to go and put my eyes on him because like Satan
44:25
is always looking for a way like you guys were just pointing out, you know, just what Adam
44:28
was saying is like, you either just went through it, you're going through it or you're about
44:32
to go through it.
44:33
Yeah.
44:34
Like, those are the only options.
44:35
And some of you have lived charm lives, I'm sure.
44:36
Some of you listening to this right now is like, I just don't understand these guys.
44:39
These guys must be just some of the dumbest, like, most unlucky people ever.
44:43
Maybe that's you and you should feel blessed because I think for all of us, we want our
44:46
kids to not have a testimony to a degree, right?
44:48
Like if we've had to go through hardship and all that, don't we not want that for our kids?
44:52
But it's the hardship that causes us to rely on God, that causes us to get through it to
44:56
show some resilience and be on the other side.
44:59
We got to speed up a little bit.
45:00
I kind of got us off here in the first four verses.
45:02
Let's do the next three.
45:03
So five through seven.
45:04
So why are you cast down on my soul and why are you in turmoil within me?
45:08
Open God, for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.
45:13
My soul is cast down within me.
45:15
Therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Herman from Mount Mizzare.
45:19
Deep calls to deep, deep at the roar of your waterfalls, all your breakers and your waves
45:24
have gone over me.
45:26
And so first of all, I don't know why, but just the line deep calls to deep is such a
45:30
cool line.
45:31
I don't know why it's so cool because I like to pun intended, but no, I read so many different
45:37
commentaries on verse seven and none of them had anything to say about deep calls to deep.
45:41
So I apparently it's just a super dope line, whenever it is like translated into English.
45:46
But you can see here that David sees God kind of as a source of his plight, like all of
45:51
your breakers, he's talking to God and all of your waves have gone over me.
45:55
So again, this goes to what we were talking about last week in Psalm 23 is it's like,
45:59
look, God's going to allow you to get go through some stuff, but he's going to allow you to
46:03
go through some stuff so that you will reach out to him, rely on him and have him sustain
46:06
you through the stuff.
46:08
And so Adam, with what you were talking about, like, yeah, again, we're either have just
46:12
gone through it.
46:13
We're going through it.
46:14
We're about to go through it.
46:15
Well, when it's someone else's turn and you've gone through something similar or where you
46:19
had similar thoughts and actions, aren't you then more qualified to help them in that
46:23
moment?
46:24
Absolutely right.
46:25
And so it's the same thing with parenting.
46:26
It's like a kid, you know, they get broken up with by their first girl that they loved
46:30
and they're 17 and their world is definitely over and they're never going to find love
46:34
and they're sure of it.
46:36
And yet you've gone through that and you said, I love you to a girl.
46:39
And then eventually she gave you your letter jacket back or something like that.
46:43
And then, you know, that wasn't your girl anymore, but you made you made your way through it.
46:48
But you have you have the hindsight of having been through it so you can help in that moment.
46:53
Exactly right.
46:54
I feel like versus five through seven, I start getting on a roller coaster with this Psalm
46:58
and it's like it's like schizophrenic.
47:00
Yeah, it's it's all over the place.
47:02
It's highs and lows.
47:03
Oh, thank God.
47:04
This is great.
47:05
And then all of a sudden now my soul is downcast within me is like, what are we talking about
47:08
here?
47:09
It's constantly up and down.
47:10
I like the contrast of drought and he's thirsting and now he's just getting hit with
47:15
water.
47:16
Oh, yeah.
47:17
I never saw that.
47:18
Yeah.
47:19
He's like, he's like, I'm thirsty.
47:20
I need you, Lord.
47:21
And now now I'm just getting crushed by waves and that's enough water God like chill out.
47:26
Come on, man.
47:27
Yeah.
47:28
So and think about this.
47:29
This is from from mountains.
47:30
He's in the mountains down.
47:31
He's getting crushed by a gigantic waterfall.
47:33
Yeah.
47:34
Yeah.
47:35
That's something that we that we didn't really.
47:36
Yeah, we didn't really get into it.
47:38
My desire.
47:39
Yeah.
47:40
He wants all of those things and then God's like, all right.
47:42
Like here it is.
47:43
Yeah.
47:44
Well, I've heard people before kind of you can kind of categorize it as like kind of
47:47
a cocky prayer.
47:48
It's like, give me more God, like give, give me more, give me right up to the point that
47:53
I can't handle anymore.
47:55
It's like, okay, all right, like you are legitimately playing with the inventor of fire, not just
48:00
fire at that point.
48:01
And so it's like, again, most of us wouldn't choose the plight that you go through.
48:06
But when you talk to anybody that's been through something horrific, whether it's a bad recovery
48:10
or a sickness or they've been betrayed in an extreme way, when they do get on the other
48:14
side of it, gosh, the level of maturity in that person and reliance on God and like,
48:19
you know, because your options are to get through it and let God help you or just become
48:22
a bitter like navel gazing narcissist.
48:25
And so it's like really only one of those ways is going to help you out in the end.
48:30
Anything else on those before we move on to eight and nine.
48:33
Let's go ahead and move on.
48:34
All right, let's do it.
48:35
By day, the Lord commands his steadfast love and at night, his song is with me, a prayer
48:39
to the God of my life.
48:40
I say to God, my rock, why have you forgotten me?
48:44
Why do I go morning because of the oppression of the enemy?
48:47
So why have you forgotten me?
48:49
Maybe why have you forsaken me?
48:50
I mean, our Savior Jesus felt this same type of feeling.
48:54
But one thing that I wrote down, this might be a swing and a miss, but when he says in
48:57
verse eight, you know, at night, his song is with me.
49:00
So I don't know if you guys have heard this.
49:01
I don't know if this is more of like a charismatic thing or any of those types of deals.
49:05
But at night is a common time of attack for a lot of people.
49:09
So if you have an addiction or, you know, you're, you're dealing with some rough thoughts,
49:13
like nighttime seems to be a time when all the attacks become elevated.
49:18
I've heard people talk about things like the witching hour.
49:21
There was a time period in my life where so I, you know, I have the bladder of a seven
49:24
year old drunk girl and so I wake up like two or three times and I had to go to the bathroom.
49:28
But I was waking up at like the same time in the middle of the night every night for
49:33
months.
49:34
And I mentioned that to someone there like, dude, that's the witching hour.
49:37
And I'm like, what's that?
49:39
That sounds terrible.
49:40
And he's like, that's the time when, you know, demonic activity is at its most peak.
49:45
And I'm like, is that what's making me have to pee?
49:48
Because I'd love to stay asleep.
49:49
Can we figure out what medication can get me through the witching hour?
49:53
Like I talk about it somewhat tongue in cheek, but I have heard that that there are times
49:58
and there is demonic activity that kind of goes in these different waves and there are
50:01
times of increased demonic activity and that we shouldn't, you know, play around with that.
50:06
So I don't know if y'all have like experienced that or heard that at all or if this, I already
50:09
said this could be just a complete swing and a mess here.
50:12
No witching hour.
50:13
I've not heard that.
50:14
I've heard the witching hour is like, hey, I mean, right before, you know, dinnertime.
50:19
Yeah.
50:20
That's like the best that's where we're at right now, like we're like 10 minutes away
50:24
from brisket.
50:25
I've never heard that.
50:26
All right.
50:27
Well, great job, Kyle.
50:28
That was tremendous.
50:29
Man, you're so good at this.
50:30
Ryan.
50:31
Don't even try to save me.
50:32
I'm drowning.
50:33
I'm decalced to deep right now.
50:34
And it's calling me to drag me to the bottom of the ocean.
50:36
Good grief.
50:37
Let's move on.
50:38
Yeah.
50:39
Yeah.
50:40
Yeah.
50:41
It doesn't even have to be spiritual warfare.
50:42
This is just what happens when your brain doesn't fire on.
50:43
After you eat your chili.
50:44
I hit the witching hour.
50:45
I like for 10.
50:46
Hey, everyone at this table has experienced my chili.
50:50
But let's let's give a shout out to my chili.
50:52
It doesn't matter what happens intesinally after because the entire process is a lot
50:55
of fun.
50:56
No.
50:57
It is.
50:58
I'm with it.
50:59
The best chili I've probably ever.
51:00
Probably.
51:01
Probably.
51:02
Do we need to like have a competition?
51:03
Chill.
51:04
Well, hey, did I make works?
51:05
Chili?
51:06
No, you eat it in back trap.
51:07
Okay.
51:08
I think I did some Whitetail backstrap.
51:09
Chili.
51:10
Oh, it was good.
51:11
It hurt after.
51:12
But it was good.
51:13
It's meant to hurt after because I want you to feel it.
51:14
I want you to burp it up and sense it.
51:16
Days later.
51:17
Oh, man.
51:18
I saw him 42 here versus 10 and 11 as with a deadly wound in my bones.
51:22
My adversaries taught me while they say to me all the, or all the day long, where's
51:27
your God?
51:28
Why are you cast down on my soul and why are you in turmoil within me?
51:32
Hoping God for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
51:35
So Adam, this goes back to what you were saying with like some of the previous chunks of verses,
51:39
like five through seven, I literally wrote the word and spelled it poorly, schizophrenic.
51:43
Like I have no idea how to spell it, but I do know in general what that means.
51:47
But when you have schizophrenia, you will literally vacillate between these incredibly
51:52
different emotions and in 11 verses, the level of schizophrenic double mindedness that we
51:58
see is just all over it.
51:59
And I like how he says, why are you downcast?
52:03
Why are you so disturbed within me?
52:05
It's like he knows that he knows that he's schizophrenic in this.
52:08
And then at the end, it's put your hope in God.
52:10
Yeah.
52:11
Yeah.
52:12
I mean, he says that basically that same thing went three or four times through the chapter.
52:17
And I think it was the Tim Keller again that was talking about how he's trying to kind
52:22
of reorder his hopes through the whole thing.
52:25
And he kind of lands on the right thing, obviously, at the end.
52:28
Yeah.
52:29
What are we going to say?
52:30
I'm just saying like verse, verse 11 is basically verse five all over again.
52:34
It's like, it's like the chorus of the song.
52:37
So this is like a Hillsong song or it's just a course over and over and over, is that what
52:41
you're saying?
52:42
It's not a Hillsong song because it's not, it's not about you.
52:46
Oh, so it's not about boyfriend Jesus.
52:47
Yeah.
52:48
If it was, if it was a Hillsong song, it'd be about you.
52:51
Fantastic.
52:52
But I want to read it all the way.
52:55
So this is when, when I was kind of just doing a little research on reordering reordering
52:59
hopes.
53:01
So here's something real quick.
53:02
So when I think about my justification, I won't dwell on shames and guilt.
53:07
When I think about my sanctification, I realize God can change me.
53:11
When I think about my adoption, I remember God does hear me and he loves me like a child.
53:15
And when I think about my future resurrection, I'm not afraid of dying, I just thought that
53:20
was really cool.
53:21
That's beautiful.
53:22
All those.
53:23
I can't think of a better way to close it out.
53:24
What was that from?
53:25
Was that just your own personal?
53:26
No, it was from, it was either Tim Keller or Dr. David Martin.
53:32
No relation.
53:33
I was going to say David Martin Lloyd Jones.
53:36
David Martin Lloyd Jones.
53:37
That's like one way to give a dad a shout.
53:39
Indian Jones character.
53:40
What was the guy's name?
53:43
David Lloyd.
53:44
Martin Lloyd Jones, David Martin Lloyd Jones.
53:46
You know, we have more than three names like you're like incredibly smart, right?
53:50
If you have to hyphenate at any point.
53:52
Any other thoughts on Psalm 42 before we go eat brisket, fam, fam, all right, fantastic.
53:59
Well, guys, we're going to leave it there, but come back next Sunday where we're going
54:01
to dig into Psalm 63, Psalm 63, make sure you read that and spend some time digging into
54:07
that.
54:08
But before we let you go, we are going to do a quick resilience boost.
54:10
That undaunted life or mission is equipping men to push back darkness with content that
54:13
forges spiritual, mental and physical resilience.
54:15
Again, don't forget about the cross way forging table starter set, all that information is
54:19
here in the show notes.
54:20
Also the logos Bible software.
54:22
If you want to use that software at a discount, check out the link that is in our show notes.
54:26
And also guys, we are a donation based ministry.
54:28
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54:35
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54:39
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54:42
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54:44
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54:47
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54:55
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55:07
I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
55:08
Remember, keep pushing back darkness, keep forging spiritual, mental and physical resilience.
55:15
Keep seeking the Lion of Judah.
55:38
and I'll see you in the next video.