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BILL RAPIER | Serving Christ While Killing for Uncle Sam (Ep. 314)

May 31, 2022 2h 7m Full transcript available
BILL RAPIER | Serving Christ While Killing for Uncle Sam (Ep. 314)
0:00 / 2h 7m
In this episode, Kyle Thompson sits down with Bill Rapier, a former Navy SEAL and devout Christian, to discuss the intersection of faith and military service. They explore the complexities of being a warrior for Christ, the challenges of reconciling faith with the realities of combat, and the importance of strong biblical manhood in today's culture.
Transcript
2603 segments
0:00 (upbeat music)
0:02 - This is Undaunted Life, a Man's Podcast.
0:21 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
0:23 Let's get into it.
0:24 All right guys, today I've got a special guest
0:25 on the podcast.
0:26 His name is Bill Rapier.
0:27 So Bill is a United States Navy veteran.
0:29 He served 20 years in United States Navy Seals.
0:32 And the last 14 years of his service to this country
0:34 were spent with Naval Special Warfare Development Group,
0:37 otherwise known as Dev Group.
0:38 And during his career, he spent time as an Assaultor,
0:41 Breacher, Sniper, Team Leader, Troop Chief,
0:43 Military Working Dog, Department Senior,
0:45 enlisted advisor.
0:46 This guy did just about everything.
0:48 And even after retirement,
0:49 he didn't want to just stop doing that type of stuff.
0:51 He launched a firearms training company
0:53 called AMTAC Tactical Shooting Instruction,
0:56 or AMTAC for short.
0:57 And AMTAC courses they cover combative pistol and carbine
1:00 and also integration of other weapons like blades
1:02 and things like that.
1:03 And I actually missed out on going to a class.
1:05 He was going to be doing it here in my own neck of the woods,
1:08 here in Oklahoma City.
1:09 But I missed out because we had the birth of Squish
1:11 and we had a lot of stuff that we needed to do around that time.
1:13 So I wasn't able to peel off and do that,
1:15 but I will be doing that in the future.
1:16 But these classes are very well regarded,
1:18 very highly reviewed.
1:19 And obviously you're getting,
1:20 teaching from one of the greatest trained type of warrior
1:25 in this type of a setting.
1:27 So it's very hard press for you to be able to find training
1:30 that would be better for you than something like that.
1:33 But I want to go ahead and give a shout out to Chris Flemmer.
1:34 That's a listener of this podcast.
1:35 He actually got me and built together
1:37 because I wanted to have Bill in the show for a long time.
1:39 And one of the reasons I wanted to have Bill in the show
1:42 is because yes, I talk to people that are veterans.
1:44 I talk to people that are active duty military.
1:46 You know, I've talked to a lot of seals on the show,
1:48 but he's a very unique guy because not only did he make it
1:50 all the way to the development group with us,
1:52 which is the top tier of the Navy Seals.
1:54 He's also a guy that is a incredibly, incredibly devout Christian.
1:58 So what you'll notice about this interview today is, you know,
2:01 I kind of got my own way of doing things
2:03 and I kind of like to kind of put things together and okay,
2:05 let's talk about your early childhood and let's go here.
2:07 But probably for the first hour,
2:08 'cause this is a couple of hours long guys.
2:10 It's a great one.
2:11 You should listen to every last bit of it.
2:12 But we went on a tangent where I just kind of followed the thread.
2:16 I was like, okay, we started talking about, you know,
2:18 when his Navy Seal career kind of, you know,
2:21 ran head first into his belief as a Christian
2:24 and what it was like, you know, when he was killing people
2:26 because that's what he was doing.
2:27 That's why I named this podcast, "What I Did,"
2:28 because it's like, it's a unique thing to kill people
2:31 at the behest of a government,
2:33 but also to be an incredibly, incredibly devout Christian.
2:35 But those things aren't as opposed as what you might think.
2:38 So we get into a lot of that.
2:39 We get into, you know, Calvinism and reformed Baptist theology.
2:42 We get into, you know, denominational fights.
2:44 We talked about Christian worship music.
2:46 We talked about a lot of things, you know,
2:47 Christian manhood writes a passage
2:50 and we mainly talked about writes a passage
2:52 at the very, very end of the podcast.
2:53 But we did get into some of the missions that he did
2:56 while he was in the Navy Seals,
2:57 why he decided to get out, you know,
2:59 why he decided to, you know, create AMTAC
3:01 and go those different routes.
3:02 Guys, this was a great conversation.
3:03 And this is an example of, you know,
3:05 to any of you guys that do podcasts out there
3:07 that if you've got time with somebody, just let it ride.
3:10 If they're an interesting person like Bill is,
3:12 just kind of let it ride and ask questions, be curious.
3:15 Don't just, you know, stick to the rigid structure.
3:17 Guys, if you could see my notes,
3:19 the questions we didn't go over,
3:20 there were so many things that we wanted to talk about
3:22 that I wanted to make sure we talked about that we didn't,
3:24 which probably sets us up for another conversation
3:26 later on down the road.
3:27 But guys, I don't want to keep them from you any longer.
3:29 So without further ado, let's get into it.
3:31 - Bill rapier, welcome to Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.
3:36 - Thanks for having me on.
3:37 - So I got to be honest with you.
3:39 I've been wanting to have you on the show
3:40 for quite a long time.
3:42 And it was actually listener of the show.
3:43 I think I mentioned in the intro, Chris Flemmer,
3:45 that kind of got us together to make sure
3:47 that this could happen.
3:48 Because you have a very, very unique story
3:50 and a lot of the ways that you think about things
3:51 is different.
3:52 And I get a lot of hate from guys like,
3:54 why do you only have Navy SEALs on your show?
3:55 I'm like, they're the only ones that write books,
3:57 but it is kind of funny about that
3:59 because you don't have a book out there for everybody.
4:01 But just to kind of give people
4:02 a little bit of an introduction to who you are,
4:04 we'll get into the military stuff,
4:05 we'll expand onto a lot of topics today.
4:07 But just describe your upbringing,
4:09 because that has really kind of led you
4:11 into some of the decisions you made in your life
4:13 and kind of how you conduct yourself and your family.
4:15 So what was it like growing up Bill rapier?
4:18 So my folks were missionaries, actually still are.
4:22 So I moved to Germany when I was five years old.
4:24 I got thrown into a German kindergarten
4:27 at age five and a half or six.
4:30 I was the only English speaker there.
4:33 No one spoke, or well, some of the other people spoke English,
4:36 but I was the only native English speaker
4:39 in my school at the time.
4:41 And very quickly, my folks had studied German for years
4:46 before going to the missions field.
4:47 And within a couple months of being completely immersed in it,
4:51 I think I was speaking better German than they were.
4:55 So we lived two different spots in Germany.
4:57 We lived down in Bavaria in Spaya,
4:59 little town right on the Rhine.
5:01 And then we lived up in Langhagen,
5:04 up by Hanover in Northern Germany.
5:06 Lived there until I was maybe 12 or so.
5:10 And then we moved to the States for about six months.
5:13 So lived in San Jose area for about six months or so.
5:17 And then we moved to Swaziland in Southern Africa.
5:20 So Swaziland is a tiny little, it's a kingdom.
5:23 At the time it was the youngest monarch
5:25 that was in charge of the thing.
5:27 It's the country surrounded three quarters
5:30 by South Africa in one quarter by Mozambique.
5:33 I absolutely loved living in Africa.
5:35 It was a great time.
5:36 Love the people over there.
5:39 It was just a very cool place.
5:43 So we only lived there for about two years or so.
5:45 And then my dad got recalled to help back States side.
5:50 So we moved to Colorado Springs.
5:52 And that's where I ended up finishing up high school.
5:55 So I did the last three years of high school
5:57 in Colorado Springs and then joined the service
6:00 immediately, literally the day after graduating
6:04 from high school.
6:05 - Yeah, so we'll get a whole lot more into your service.
6:07 But overall, like growing up,
6:09 because everybody knows a preacher's kid, right?
6:12 And so, but growing up a missionaries kid
6:14 is a little bit more unique.
6:15 And so for you, how has growing,
6:18 has, you know, having grown up as a missionary
6:20 and spending all this time outside of the United States
6:22 kind of framed how you think about the world
6:24 or think about the United States in particular,
6:26 but also how it affects how you run your family now.
6:29 - So worldview wise,
6:32 it definitely living overseas
6:34 and specifically living in more of an expat-type community
6:38 overseas is a,
6:42 they used to say about the British that lived
6:44 in the colonies that they were more British
6:46 than the British were.
6:47 And I totally, from what I've seen, that's the case
6:51 because all the, you know, the ones that wanted adventure
6:54 and wanted rugged individualism, they moved on.
6:56 I mean, as is evidenced by our nation as well.
6:59 So in a sense, living overseas really established
7:04 that American identity within me,
7:06 because I recognize that, oh man,
7:09 here's all this, you know, German stuff going on
7:11 or African stuff going on, and I remember coming
7:15 to a point one time when I was in Germany still
7:18 where I was thinking in German, all my friends were German.
7:22 I was speaking German even at home with my parents.
7:25 I speak in German most of the time.
7:27 And I realized, well, I did the math and I'm like, man,
7:30 I've lived in Germany longer than I have in America.
7:33 And it really bothered me because I was like,
7:35 I'm an American.
7:37 And so I remember making a conscious decision
7:40 at that point that I'm going to start thinking in English.
7:43 I'm gonna try and speak English at home more.
7:46 And really, so there's, I mean, another example
7:49 that would be watching the Super Bowl in Swaziland
7:53 at two o'clock in the morning.
7:55 You know, that's, I mean, now I really don't even,
7:58 I don't ever watch football.
7:59 I really don't ever watch any organized sports.
8:02 I didn't even understand the rules of football at the time
8:05 when we were going and watching the Super Bowl,
8:08 but it was a cultural, hey, the Americans,
8:11 the crazy Americans get up at one o'clock in the morning
8:14 and they drive to their friend's house
8:16 and, you know, he'd chunk food and watch the Super Bowl.
8:19 And, you know, so just having that, you know,
8:23 that community of being American.
8:28 I mean, another cool example living in Swaziland,
8:32 as an American, I could ride my bike to the ambassador's house
8:36 and basically just say hi to the gate guard
8:38 and then go in and use this pool
8:40 and just swim, you know, go and swim laps.
8:42 And it's like, it was just, it was a really cool,
8:45 like, you know, I'm an American
8:46 and like there's certain privileges that come with that
8:49 and certain responsibilities that come with that.
8:51 And so it was very much living overseas
8:55 definitely gave me a lot of that identity,
8:58 of my American identity that I have today.
9:01 - We are live from Feddi's house.
9:03 - Guests are gathering around the TV,
9:05 even with a big storm outside.
9:06 - Are we worried about the fee?
9:07 - Nope, they have Xfinity Wi-Fi.
9:09 - Get reliable fiber power gig Wi-Fi
9:11 with Peacock included to stream
9:12 the beautiful game this summer.
9:13 Xfinity, imagine that.
9:14 Restrictions apply, new gig internet customers
9:16 only, actual speeds vary.
9:17 Offer for Peacock premium with ads currently
9:18 at $10.99 a month value and limited to Xfinity internet
9:20 members with newer upgraded gig speed
9:21 or faster service, activation required to access content.
9:23 Peacock must be activated within first 90 days.
9:25 Management of existing subscriptions may be required
9:27 to avoid multiple subscriptions and duplicate charges.
9:29 Third party built subscriptions continue until canceled.
9:31 - No, that's an important thing, Bill,
9:33 because with traveling, I encourage people
9:36 to travel all the time,
9:37 but even within the United States,
9:39 like I live in central Oklahoma,
9:40 but if you travel up to Minnesota,
9:41 things are gonna feel different and sound different.
9:43 If you travel all over the US,
9:45 and it's certainly true as you go across the globe.
9:47 And so my wife and I have been fortunate enough
9:49 and blessed enough to be able to do quite a bit
9:50 of international travel.
9:51 We haven't lived other places,
9:53 but it does kind of give you a wider perspective.
9:55 But for you, you mentioned this already.
9:57 So you graduate from high school
9:59 and you're going to the military.
10:00 And you seemingly knew that that was the next step.
10:02 This wasn't like, well, you know,
10:03 I don't have anything else to do.
10:04 So I'm either going to work at that gas station,
10:06 go to college, go to the military.
10:08 It seemed like you knew you were going to go that direction.
10:10 So what drew you to the United States military?
10:12 And then specifically, what drew you to the Navy
10:14 and then even before, you know, further than that,
10:16 what drew you to the Navy Seals.
10:18 - So really it's, this is how God made me.
10:22 That is really the only, you know,
10:26 I mean, it's cool watching Kit and watching my children now
10:28 and like they have certain bets or directions in life.
10:31 And some of it is, can be encouraged,
10:34 but some of it is they just have their own personalities.
10:37 They have their own desires,
10:38 their own things that they enjoy
10:40 and want to, you know, are interested and want to pursue.
10:43 So that's what I had with the military.
10:46 I mean, from age six, five or six,
10:49 I think I have pictures of me
10:51 with my dad's old military stuff on,
10:54 you know, holding an old inert single barrel shotgun.
10:57 It, you know, beards painted onto my face.
11:01 You know, it was very much this is what I wanted to do.
11:04 Then living in Germany, especially during the Cold War,
11:10 I mean, when we were up north,
11:12 we were only a few hours away from the Iron Curtain.
11:16 So there was definitely the appreciation of, you know,
11:21 the Soviets could be rolling through here at any point.
11:25 And then we did have, you know, we didn't spend a whole lot
11:28 of time with American soldiers,
11:30 but from time to time, we would meet
11:32 and hang out with American soldiers
11:34 and we could go on base everyone, you know,
11:36 like people would help us get on base
11:37 and, you know, maybe use the commissary
11:39 and like that was always a kind of a cool thing.
11:42 But man, I, yeah, I remember running around, you know,
11:46 it'd be miserable weather outside.
11:48 And I'd have, I'd have all my German army stuff on
11:51 or, you know, a mixed match of German and American stuff
11:54 and I'd be pouring down right now, I'd go knock
11:56 on the neighbor kid's door and be like,
11:58 does your son wanna come out and do,
11:59 you're by label entertaining,
12:01 which was like survival training, you know,
12:02 we're gonna go out into the woods
12:03 and make shelters and cook food and whatnot.
12:06 And yeah, so very early on, that's,
12:10 I knew that's what I wanted to do.
12:11 So my dad then was said, well,
12:13 if you wanna be in the military, you should go to West Point.
12:16 And so for a long time, that was my goal was to go
12:18 to West Point and then when we moved to the state,
12:23 so prior to moving to the States,
12:24 I was doing good in school and then we moved to the States
12:26 and for the first year, I was doing good in school.
12:28 And then my junior year, I started wrestling
12:30 and kind of started coming off the rails a little bit,
12:35 started partying a little bit.
12:36 And by the time I was the latter half of my senior year,
12:41 I wanted nothing to do with going to school,
12:43 still wanted to join the military.
12:45 And so that's when I really started researching and going,
12:48 what, what is going to be
12:52 the hardest organization to get into
12:55 that has the highest likelihood of seeing action?
12:57 Cause this is, you know, we're in between wars.
12:59 This is the early 90s as I'm researching this stuff.
13:03 So we haven't been in a real war in, you know,
13:06 really since Vietnam.
13:08 - Right.
13:09 - So I'm looking at it, I'm doing all the research.
13:11 I'm reading about Marine Corps reconnaissance.
13:13 I'm reading about SF and then I'm reading about SEAL teams.
13:18 And yeah, the, I was telling this to, to a guy the other day,
13:23 like the Marine Corps guy could have got me.
13:25 Cause I, I went in there for,
13:26 cause I didn't, I really didn't want to join the Navy.
13:29 You know, just the whole, you know, recognizing that,
13:32 that most guys don't make it through training.
13:34 And I really did not want to be on a ship.
13:37 So I went into the Marine Corps recruiters.
13:38 I was talking to him, I was asking him about Force Recon
13:40 and, and compared to Buds and what's the difficulty.
13:44 And he looks at me and he goes, he goes, man,
13:47 those five mile soft sand runs,
13:49 those aren't even good for you.
13:51 And I walked out and I'm like, I want to go do the hard stuff.
13:55 So ended up, you know, so joined the Navy, you know,
14:00 did the delayed enlistment program.
14:02 So I was actually signed up prior to graduating
14:04 from high school, graduated high school,
14:06 and joined, you know, shipped out the following day.
14:09 Went to Great Lakes, went to boot camp up there.
14:14 And then, yeah, thus started my career in the Navy.
14:18 - Right. So for you, 'cause it seemed like you're a guy
14:20 that's kind of drawn to action.
14:21 You mentioned it there.
14:22 You're drawn towards doing hard things.
14:24 I've heard people say this before,
14:26 'cause again, I told you all fear,
14:27 we're not gonna sit here and talk about Buds.
14:28 Yes, you were cold, wet, sandy.
14:30 It was hard, you know, we get it.
14:31 But some people get to Coronado and they,
14:36 and they're not sure if they're gonna make it.
14:38 That they're just kind of kind of field their way through it.
14:40 And then almost 100% of the time they end up
14:43 in the part of the class that doesn't continue, right?
14:45 Like they're the people that ring the bell
14:47 and set their helmet on the ground.
14:48 Did you show up knowing you were gonna get through?
14:52 Like, hey, these guys aren't gonna kill me.
14:53 They have to feed me.
14:54 Like, what was your mindset when you showed up?
14:57 - I wasn't sure I was gonna make it through.
14:59 I mean, that, yeah, I mean, that's the bottom line.
15:04 I wasn't sure I was gonna make it through.
15:06 I mean, I was, you know, take it one day at a time.
15:08 All right, let's just get through this one day.
15:10 I mean, there was,
15:13 many, many times I was, I was going through,
15:16 you know, I can do all things through Christ.
15:17 It gives me strength, like just quoting that,
15:19 you know, reviewing that verse over and over again,
15:22 when I was really cold and I really didn't want to do it.
15:25 But, you know, did keep going.
15:28 - It's an incredible thing.
15:29 'Cause that's the thing I try to tell people a lot of times
15:31 because you know, I'll leave people through workouts
15:32 and it's like, I have an idea of how many reps
15:34 we're gonna do, but they don't.
15:35 And that's what makes it worse,
15:37 is because like, you know, you're gonna be doing things
15:39 physically, but you don't know when you're gonna stop.
15:41 And I've heard people talk about this before.
15:43 Like during Hell Week,
15:44 whenever the sun's going down
15:45 and all the instructors are like,
15:47 oh, we're gonna kill you guys.
15:49 The moment the sun goes down
15:50 and it's the anticipation of what's gonna happen that week
15:53 that'll get a guy, you know, to ring the bell,
15:55 which is just kind of interesting.
15:56 But you've mentioned it here a couple of times.
15:58 So I think we should go ahead and get into this.
16:01 At some point, and I don't know at what points,
16:03 maybe you can answer that.
16:04 At what point did your chosen profession, you know,
16:06 of being a Navy SEAL run into your Christian worldview?
16:10 And yeah, I mean, we'll get into missions
16:11 and we'll get into all the stuff that you did
16:12 as a Navy SEAL, 'cause you did some really, really interesting
16:14 stuff and I'm gonna force you to not be so damn humble.
16:17 But like at what point did the fact that you believe
16:20 in, you know, the resurrection of Jesus Christ
16:22 run into the fact that your chosen profession
16:24 is probably gonna require you to kill people?
16:27 - So first off, I went going through buds
16:31 and I feel like it's only been recently
16:34 that I've gotten a little bit more clarity
16:36 or maybe just more perspective on this,
16:38 but I really think now as I was going through buds,
16:42 making it into the SEAL teams was probably niddle for me.
16:46 Like I probably valued it too highly
16:49 as I was going through training.
16:51 Also was not living for the Lord at the time.
16:53 It wasn't until a couple years of being in the SEAL teams
17:00 that I was driving back from Colorado one night.
17:03 I'd visited some friends out there driving back.
17:05 I'm driving through the desert someplace
17:07 and I was just, you know, looking at the stars,
17:08 just kind of contemplating life and I remember thinking
17:12 to myself, man, I, doctrinally, I don't believe
17:15 that you can lose your salvation.
17:16 You know, if you are the elect, you cannot lose your salvation.
17:21 But I was looking at my life.
17:24 I'm like, no one else could tell.
17:26 If you know, if you look at my life right now,
17:28 no one else could tell that I'm a Christian.
17:30 And so I really started praying and asking God
17:33 to give me a desire to wanna follow after him.
17:36 And that, you know, looking back on it now,
17:39 that was really a turning point in my life where, you know,
17:41 I got plugged into a church, started going to Bible study,
17:43 started actually reading my Bible and you know, wow,
17:46 this, you know, it was like it was speaking to me
17:47 for the first time, you know, like, man,
17:50 this is actually how I'm supposed to live my life.
17:52 Instead of just being a set of rules, it's like, okay,
17:55 this is, you know, this is kind of stuff that I'm,
17:57 that I'm supposed to do or have to do.
17:58 It was like, I was becoming hungry for God's word.
18:05 So, going back to, did it have any effect on, you know,
18:10 how do I reconcile the two with potentially having
18:14 to kill people?
18:15 I mean, going through our interview process
18:20 to go to dev group, that was one of the questions
18:26 that was asked of me, right?
18:27 So I'm sitting there, I've done the PT tests,
18:29 I've done this long battery of psych tests.
18:32 And now I'm sitting in a, you know, horseshoe of,
18:35 you know, in the middle of a horseshoe of tables
18:37 and it's all these senior operators and,
18:40 and then a couple of admin people and, you know,
18:42 the doctor or a psychologist,
18:44 a bunch of these people are sitting around
18:46 and the psychologist goes, oh, you say
18:50 that you're a really religious guy,
18:53 but you're, you know, you're, you're trying
18:56 to get to a command where you may be asked to kill people.
18:59 You know, how, how does that square up with the set of rules?
19:04 One of them says that I'll shout, not kill.
19:06 And my answer to him was, well, number one, it's,
19:11 well, I actually wasn't quite this deep
19:13 at the time, but I'll elaborate on it now.
19:15 The ancient Hebrews had different words for killing,
19:17 just like we have different words for killing
19:19 as far as manslaughter and different degrees of manslaughter.
19:22 David was a man after God's own heart
19:26 and he killed so many people that they wrote songs about him,
19:28 right? Saul has slain his thousands
19:30 and David has tens of thousands.
19:32 So I told him, I don't think God is going to have a problem
19:35 with me doing the same thing, right?
19:36 There's a massive difference between murdering someone
19:39 and killing them in battle, right?
19:40 Murdering, you know, the violence itself.
19:43 In a fallen world, the violence itself is neutral, right?
19:47 You can use violence if someone is torturing your family
19:50 to death and you come in and use violence
19:52 to stop that from happening,
19:53 that would be a righteous use of violence.
19:55 If you want your neighbor's wife or his car or whatever
19:58 and you go in and kill them in order to take that,
20:01 that would be an immoral, unrighteous use
20:04 of violence right there.
20:05 So the violence itself is just, you know, it is a tool
20:09 and it's, you know, part of living in a fallen world
20:11 is that it's something that we, you know,
20:13 we have to be able to do.
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20:45 - So when you get into the Navy Eye again,
20:47 we're just kind of fast forwarding through Buds
20:48 and all that.
20:49 So you're in the Navy now and we'll get into, you know,
20:51 Dev Guru here in a minute as well.
20:53 So you are here at a time where we're at war now, right?
20:57 So we had, you know, years where we weren't at war,
20:59 but now we're at war.
21:00 And so you are being synergies to go defend this country,
21:04 but also to execute missions, which would, you know,
21:06 result in the death of people
21:08 that are on the other side of the gun from you.
21:10 And so that is something that you did do.
21:12 You did kill people while you were over there.
21:13 I am curious, and I know you've talked about this before.
21:15 So did anyone think that this question is unfair?
21:18 You've answered it before, so I'm gonna ask it as well.
21:20 After the first person that you killed,
21:22 were you still assured of your positioning?
21:25 Because everybody understands like the difference
21:27 between murder and killing and manslaughter
21:30 and accidental death and all these different things.
21:32 But now the blood is almost literally on your hands, right?
21:36 And this is someone that was trying to kill you.
21:38 This is an evil person.
21:39 This is somebody that believes a worldview
21:41 that is outside of what jives with the Gino Christian ethic
21:44 or what we in the United States say
21:46 is a more a way of operating around the world.
21:48 Did you feel the same way?
21:49 Did you have the same conviction after that first life you took?
21:53 Yeah, there's no, yeah, no change.
21:57 In fact, as I've been retired from the Navy now
22:03 for eight years teaching or almost eight years,
22:05 teaching full-time since then.
22:08 So as part of my mindset talk,
22:10 I talk about killing and every time I do a two-day class,
22:15 that's one of the things that is gonna get talked about.
22:18 And looking back on it now,
22:22 I think I was probably too nonchalant about it.
22:25 I mean, it was, 'cause it was never a,
22:27 like growing up it was never a thing
22:29 that, oh, killing is, you know, killing in battle is bad.
22:32 It was, that was never, the lines were very clear.
22:36 There's murder and there's killing in battle.
22:39 And so now as I am speaking,
22:43 I guess somewhat from a position of authority
22:46 where I just, I know that the guys that come and train
22:49 with me are listening to what I'm saying.
22:52 I have really felt convicted of,
22:54 hey, I better make sure I get this right.
22:56 Because honestly, there was times where it was like,
23:00 let's just put it, two nonchalant about it.
23:04 Just, you know, like high fives, good job shooting that guy,
23:07 like, no, no big deal.
23:09 And as I look at it biblically now,
23:13 I'm like, well, it is a big deal.
23:16 It's not that it's bad, but it is a big deal.
23:19 The taking of human life, the shedding of blood
23:22 is a big deal.
23:23 So now I would just say, hey,
23:29 we should probably be a little bit more somber about that
23:32 because I mean, David was a man after God's own heart,
23:35 but David did not build the temple
23:37 because he had so much blood on his hands, right?
23:40 His son built the temple form.
23:42 So there is a,
23:43 yeah, so I've changed, you know,
23:47 I've changed my mindset a little bit there.
23:50 Not, you know, I don't,
23:52 I have no regrets of any of the shootings that I've been in.
23:57 But looking back on it now,
24:02 I would be maybe a little bit more somber about it, I think.
24:07 - I think that makes sense.
24:09 Yeah, when you said nonchalant,
24:10 it was like, no one assumed that y'all are just hooting
24:12 and hollering, but it's kind of the same thing.
24:14 This is obviously a little bit of a bastardization
24:16 from your main point, but like when people watch hunting shows
24:19 and, you know, they're watching a 30 minute hunting show
24:20 and then they see these people hooting and hollering
24:22 when they shoot a big elk or a deer or something like that.
24:24 People don't understand how you could be so happy
24:26 about, you know, an animal losing its life,
24:29 but they don't show the years of training
24:31 or all of the stuff they had to go through to get that.
24:34 And it's that to a crazy degree higher
24:37 when you're taking the life of an enemy combat.
24:39 And I would assume, obviously, I don't know for myself,
24:41 but I wouldn't think I am curious about
24:43 because, you know, you mentioned there that, you know,
24:44 there was that high-fiving like, yeah, I smoked that guy
24:46 like that, that type of a mindset.
24:48 And I think people can generally understand that.
24:51 Did your teammates knowing your worldview
24:53 because I'm going out of limb here
24:54 and saying that all your seal brothers
24:56 weren't maybe coming from the same Christian worldview as you,
24:59 but did it ever cause any issues?
25:01 Did it cause, did it lead you to some interesting conversations?
25:04 'Cause let's say there's an atheist or an agnostic
25:06 that was right next to you when you took a life.
25:08 Did that, you know, allow you to have a conversation later
25:11 where you could share the gospel with that person?
25:12 Did they ask you, hey, man, you're a Christian.
25:14 How could you be next to me killing people?
25:16 Did that ever come up?
25:18 Not really, I mean, like the questions about faith
25:21 came up all the time, but it was never,
25:24 yeah, guys never, guys knew where I stood
25:29 when it came to like getting after it.
25:31 So there was, there was not a question on that.
25:33 - Okay, so how did you deal with the questions
25:36 about your faith because that's going to come up with it's,
25:39 it's just as general as like, hey, where'd you grow up?
25:41 Or what sports did you play in school?
25:42 It's like, hey, what's your worldview?
25:43 Like origin, meaning, morality, destiny.
25:45 You know, where did we come from?
25:46 Why are we here? How do we tell between good and evil?
25:49 And where do you go when you die?
25:50 I'm sure those things came up.
25:51 How did you handle those conversations with your brothers?
25:54 - I try and share the gospel with people,
25:56 but I mean, ultimately there's, you know,
25:59 people have their own opinions on things.
26:01 And I firmly believe that you cannot come to saving faith
26:06 unless the Holy Spirit's working on, you know,
26:09 is drawing you to that understanding.
26:13 And so yeah, I have to do my part and share the gospel,
26:17 right, we're commanded to do that.
26:19 But then after that, it does not, you know,
26:22 and we should be wise, we should have an answer, you know,
26:25 for the faith that we believe in.
26:27 But also it's not, I don't have to convince people.
26:32 I mean, I'm going to try and do my best,
26:34 but I recognize now that it's not on me.
26:37 Like I'm not going to convince someone
26:39 to come to saving faith.
26:40 That is only, you know, I might be, you know,
26:45 God might be using me as part of His instrument, you know,
26:48 for that person's coming to saving faith.
26:53 But it is not a, it's not me.
26:58 Like it's only through the Holy Spirit.
27:01 And so I think understanding that takes a huge weight
27:04 off your shoulder, you know,
27:09 and then I guess is kind of came to mind like,
27:12 some of the regrets that I do have is thinking about,
27:17 thinking about guys that I served with that did die,
27:21 that I'm like, man, I don't,
27:22 I don't think I ever shared the gospel with this guy.
27:25 Like, 'cause there are guys out there that I can think of
27:27 that I was, you know, maybe running around drinking beers with,
27:31 not, you know, not being a good witness for Christ
27:35 and they're dead now.
27:36 Then like that, you know, if I, you know,
27:40 talk about regret, like that's a regret in my, you know,
27:44 as I look back on things.
27:47 - Right. Well, let's, let's signal that to a little bit further
27:50 because I'm getting the sense that you kind of come from,
27:53 you know, the Calvinist tradition or reform tradition
27:56 is that kind of a fair assessment of where you would,
27:57 you know, play your flag?
27:58 - For sure. Yeah.
28:00 - Okay. So with that, and again, and I've talked about this
28:02 on the show and I've talked about with other people,
28:04 that's, those are still things that I'm kind of working through
28:06 and trying to understand different systematic theologies.
28:08 Obviously understanding that for hundreds and hundreds of years,
28:11 people were Christians before John Calvin even existed.
28:13 But at the same time, I'm curious as to why you felt that guilt
28:18 over, I don't even know if you use the word guilt,
28:20 but that guilt's about not sharing with your brothers,
28:24 you know, about the love of Christ, about, you know,
28:27 sharing the gospel with them before they passed away
28:30 because to a degree, it's like, if you look at the elect status,
28:33 which you talked about earlier, whether or not you're elect,
28:35 if you look at that in black and white terms,
28:37 it's like they were either elect or they weren't.
28:40 So one thing that I've asked a lot of people
28:41 in the Calvinist sphere, and some people are like, you know,
28:44 very, very basic kid Calvinists and people are like,
28:46 other people died in the wool.
28:48 It's like, why would you feel this overwhelming sense
28:51 to go and be evangelical, to go and actually share
28:55 in these tremendous ways, 'cause to a certain degree,
28:57 it's like, they're either elect or they're not.
29:00 Like the Holy Spirit, you know,
29:01 God either chose them or they're not.
29:03 And so I know that, you know, people,
29:04 they're a Calvinist screaming right now at their speakers,
29:07 like, no, you don't understand.
29:08 But it's like, I feel like it's,
29:09 the systematic theology's gotten so complicated
29:12 that people are struggling to answer in one sentence,
29:15 how can I be saved?
29:16 So just kind of walk me through that a little bit.
29:18 - So first off, you don't have to,
29:22 you don't have to believe in election.
29:26 You don't have to believe in free.
29:27 All right, we can come to saving faith regardless.
29:30 I don't think anyone understands election
29:35 when they're first getting saved,
29:36 just because most people are not,
29:41 have not dug that deep before coming to saving faith.
29:44 The reason why we should be sharing the gospel
29:49 is because we're commanded to.
29:50 Like in that, and the opposite of that is,
29:54 my understanding would be hyper-Calvinism
29:55 and like, that's wrong.
29:58 If you go, well, you're either saved or not,
30:00 like, and I'm just not gonna share the gospel
30:02 because you're either elect or you're not,
30:04 that is, you're deciding to ignore God's word
30:10 if you take that approach.
30:12 And so, when I first started learning,
30:17 free will versus election and that whole,
30:20 the two schools of thought within Protestantism,
30:27 I asked my dad and my dad gave me the answer.
30:31 He says, you should share the gospel,
30:32 like you're a free will guy
30:33 and you should believe that God is sovereign,
30:35 like you're a Calvinist.
30:37 And at the time, I thought it was a cop-out.
30:40 Like I honestly, I was expecting something,
30:43 my dad's got his doctorate
30:44 and I was expecting something really, really deep
30:46 and the older I get now, the more I'm like,
30:51 that is how we're supposed to be living, right?
30:55 And I do firmly believe that we are,
30:59 that God has chose us from the beginning of time,
31:01 before the foundation of the earth,
31:04 before there even was time.
31:06 How that works out with God loving all of us
31:11 and not wanting any to perish, like, I don't know.
31:15 But if I understood every aspect of God,
31:18 I would say that that would be a lot lower level of God.
31:22 And we serve a mighty, mighty God, like, I don't believe
31:27 that I am going to be able to comprehend everything about him.
31:31 And I'm okay with that.
31:34 And I think in part, I'm okay with that,
31:36 just because, you know, being a military guy,
31:38 there's, hey, there's need to know,
31:41 like there's some stuff that it's just,
31:43 hey, this is your level and this is what you're read into.
31:47 And I get it, there's a bigger picture.
31:52 And so when I say regret, like, yeah,
31:54 that's actually the whole election
31:56 has been a comfort for me in looking back at those,
32:00 because I do, like, I can look at it logically and go,
32:03 you know what, even if I was unfaithful to God
32:07 by not sharing the gospel with them,
32:09 if that person was elect,
32:11 God was going, like someone else was going to do that.
32:14 So it has been very, very comforting to me to, you know,
32:18 to have that, but where I say I have regret is just,
32:23 man, that's like God allows us
32:27 to be a part of his redemptive plan for humanity.
32:31 I mean, like, what an amazing, you know,
32:34 my life will probably be over in the next 40 year.
32:37 I'm 45 right now.
32:38 If I may get, if I may get another 40 years,
32:40 so that'll be a long time.
32:42 But, you know, eternity and, man, I get to be a part of that.
32:47 I get to be a part of God's redemptive plan for humanity
32:49 for all time.
32:51 And what a blessing.
32:53 And so I just look at it as that was probably missing out
32:58 on blessing by not sharing the gospel with those guys.
33:02 I mean, then there, you know, there were friends, you know?
33:04 - So you don't feel like this overall?
33:06 Yeah, no, I really appreciate you going
33:08 into that level of detail because, like,
33:10 I think that's a very, very interesting point
33:13 that your dad made about, you know,
33:15 evangelize like it's free will, but like, you know,
33:18 just rest in an election.
33:19 I think that's an important thing.
33:20 And I'm sure a lot of people would quibble
33:22 with the right theology of that and all those different things,
33:24 which I guess is, and guys, we'll get back
33:26 to the military stuff, but I'm really enjoying this vein
33:28 that we're in.
33:29 I'm curious for a guy like you that believes the way
33:32 that you do, you know, planning your flag
33:33 and the reform, you know, Calvinist field,
33:35 is how do you study the Bible?
33:37 Because, like, literally, right here next to me,
33:39 I've got, you know, a Bible with no commentary.
33:42 I've got two different commentary Bibles, right?
33:45 So they got the scripture up top
33:46 and commentary on the bottom.
33:48 And then two, just straight up commentaries.
33:49 One, John MacArthur, the other by Moody.
33:51 And so I've got a plethora of ways to do this.
33:54 And I've got several, you know, apps here on my computer
33:56 and I've got several websites where I can,
33:58 I can access the scripture.
34:00 But there are times when I feel like,
34:02 if I'm just reading the Bible with just the verses there,
34:05 that, oh, I might be missing something.
34:06 Well, you know, what could John MacArthur teach me
34:08 about that or what does my Reformation Bible say about that?
34:10 What does my ESV Bible say about that?
34:12 And if I'm being honest, Bill,
34:13 sometimes that causes me to be paralyzed a little bit
34:16 to where it's like, if I'm just reading the scripture
34:18 by itself, I'm wondering if I'm reading it stupidly.
34:21 I'm wondering if I'm reading it wrongly.
34:23 And this is a me problem, this isn't,
34:25 but I'm assuming there are other people listening to this, Bill,
34:28 that struggle that same way.
34:29 Because there's no such thing, I guess,
34:31 as technically reading the Bible.
34:32 It's always studying the Bible.
34:34 And most guys don't have enough time, you know, they say,
34:37 to work out or to eat, ride or to spend time with the kids
34:39 or all that.
34:40 And so they just put into that category Bible study
34:43 because who has time to study?
34:45 I'm not in school anymore.
34:46 I don't have an hour set aside for study.
34:48 So I guess walk me through how you specifically study
34:52 the Bible, do you come at it through a theological lens
34:55 every time?
34:56 Do you read John Calvin's opinion or Charles Spurgeon's opinion
34:59 or these guys' opinion about everything?
35:00 Just kind of take me through that.
35:02 - Yeah, so I guess first off, I would say I'm still pretty
35:06 young in my, I mean, on my reading list right now
35:10 is London Baptist Confession, number two, 1689.
35:14 Like I'm working through that right now.
35:16 So there, you know, and part of that is,
35:22 I mean, just as I look back, you know,
35:25 very, very blessed to have godly, very godly parents
35:28 and you know, and to be raised in the faith.
35:32 But doctrine wasn't something that we got into a whole lot.
35:35 So now being in leadership and church, I'm like, man,
35:38 I've got a, like, I need to know a lot of this.
35:42 Like where do I stand on so many of these different positions?
35:45 And I really like, I'm seeing a, like,
35:49 I'm really hungry right now to learn more on,
35:52 hey, what exactly do I believe?
35:55 Why do I believe it?
35:56 How, 'cause if we don't, if we're not truly grounded in,
36:00 well, I believe this, this and this,
36:02 because it says this, this and this in the Bible,
36:04 then it's very, it's easy to start veering off course
36:08 and going down some of the roads of, you know,
36:12 the various cults that are out there because they're,
36:16 they're not taking God's word as a whole.
36:18 They're not, they're too surface level, right?
36:23 I mean, this is fascinating to me.
36:24 Like I've, I've always said, oh yeah,
36:26 I'm more non-denominational.
36:28 You know, that's kind of growing up.
36:31 I was always like, yeah, I'm non-denominational, right?
36:33 Went to a Lutheran church in Germany,
36:35 went to a Baptist church in Africa,
36:37 went to more non-denominational churches in Colorado.
36:42 And now that I'm, you know, that I'm reading through stuff,
36:46 I'm like, actually Baptist doctrine is probably about
36:48 where I like, that's where I line up the most,
36:52 not necessarily dispensational, you know,
36:56 modern dispensationalism, not there, you know,
36:59 eschatologically, but, you know, as I look at Baptist doctrine,
37:04 I think for the most part, I think they,
37:08 that most closely aligns with what I believe.
37:11 And in the past, I may have been too, too quick to go,
37:16 well, let's, you know, let's not worry about the things
37:19 that divide us, which I still would agree with, right?
37:22 We shouldn't break fellowship over, you know,
37:24 you believe in sprinkling babies,
37:26 and I believe in, you know, in free will, or not free will,
37:30 but in making--
37:31 Full immersion and all that.
37:32 Full immersion, yes.
37:34 Yeah.
37:35 Like I wouldn't break fellowship with someone over that,
37:37 but that is a, like, I, as I read the Bible,
37:41 I'm like, no, I think it's pretty clear.
37:42 I know I do see where the Presbyterians are coming from
37:45 with sprinkling babies, like, I see it,
37:48 I disagree with it, but I wouldn't,
37:50 I wouldn't break fellowship with someone over that.
37:52 Same thing with, you know, if you're a hymns-only kind of guy,
37:55 I love the hymns, in fact, we do probably two-thirds
38:03 of the songs that we do at our church, our hymns.
38:06 They're just done in a little bit more modern style,
38:08 you know, with guitar lead, vice a piano lead.
38:15 But it's still, it's a, like, I'll,
38:18 we'll throw a little bit more modern song in there
38:21 from time to time, like, and then, well, and shoot,
38:24 and then some of the, I mean, that, sorry,
38:26 that's another whole tangent right there with hymns.
38:30 Well, man, if you look at Luther's time, right,
38:34 he wanted to bring praise and worship back into the church,
38:38 and so he was taking bar songs, you know, drinking songs,
38:41 and putting gospel lyrics, Christian lyrics,
38:46 to those songs.
38:46 I was just reading a commentary on that.
38:49 He would say that sometimes the song was so deeply embedded
38:52 with drinking culture or with the bar scene,
38:55 that he said that he had to give that one back to the devil.
38:58 And I just think that's fascinating
39:00 because there's a school of thought now that's like,
39:03 man, if it doesn't, if it's not in a hymnal from,
39:06 I don't know, 50 years ago, it's horrible.
39:08 But man, there's so many good songs now that if you,
39:12 if you didn't grow up with the hymns,
39:14 you would look at that and go, this is absolutely a hymn.
39:18 You know, so having doctrinally sound worship music,
39:22 I think is, is, is very important.
39:26 Sorry, we kind of got some rabbit holes there.
39:28 No, no, no, no, like you opened up two cans of worms
39:30 and guys, like I'll set it up in the intro
39:32 where, you know, guys can kind of figure it all out,
39:34 but I do want to get back to music in a second,
39:36 but I want to talk about something else
39:37 that you brought up there.
39:38 So talking about denominations, talking about doctrines,
39:42 I think one of the easiest things for a non-Christian
39:45 that lives outside the church world to point to
39:48 as a reason why they wouldn't want to be any part of that
39:50 is because of the sheer number of denominations.
39:52 Like I live in Oklahoma, the belt buckle of the Bible bell.
39:55 And so on one street, you can have every denomination
39:58 you could possibly think of within a few hundred yards
40:01 of one another as you continue to make your way down the street.
40:04 And it could be like, how could we go
40:06 from the first century church to where we are today?
40:09 How could, how could in 2000 years we've created this?
40:12 And the thing about it is,
40:12 Satan is incredibly crafty and creating schism and problems.
40:17 I mean, you said, breaking fellowship with your brothers.
40:21 We do it all the time, Bill.
40:23 It's like, oh, you don't believe in a full immersion.
40:25 Oh, you don't believe in one saved, always saved.
40:27 Oh, you don't believe in, like I know people that have,
40:30 you know, like my wife and I broke up in college
40:32 because the tradition she grew up in,
40:34 they believe if you're not baptized, you can't go to heaven.
40:38 And I was like, wait a minute.
40:38 So if I get saved in, we're on our way to the church
40:41 to go dunk me in water or we're on the way to the bathtub
40:44 to dunk me in water and I have a heart attack and die
40:46 that I'm not going to make it to heaven.
40:47 Like we have these squabbles over mostly things
40:51 that are not foundational or cornerstone issues
40:53 to the Christian faith.
40:54 I would put that one in.
40:57 I would put that one in that that is a,
40:59 you're not saved by baptism.
41:00 Like, you know, if we're going to argue about dunking
41:03 or sprinkling, like that's a separate thing right there.
41:06 I mean, you just look at the guy that died next to Christ
41:10 on the cross, he was not baptized.
41:11 Exactly.
41:12 Right. No, and that was my, my number one argument is
41:14 they didn't take him down, like, you know, take the nails out.
41:16 All right, dunk in, then put them back up
41:18 and say, you can die now.
41:19 Like, like I'm totally with you on that.
41:21 But there are people that are vehement, right?
41:24 And these are well-meaning God-fearing gospel-centered people.
41:27 They are vehement about picking issue
41:30 out of the plethora of issues.
41:32 That's got to be Satan, like that working us
41:35 because we're not presenting ourselves
41:37 as a unified front.
41:38 You know what I mean?
41:39 Yes, there is the...
41:41 It really is a two-edged sword
41:46 because there is, like, I don't want to break fellowship
41:49 with people over, you know, minor doctrinal issues
41:53 that are not salvation-based issues.
41:56 But at the same time, if we're not going to stand on stuff,
42:00 then we end up just going, well, it's kind of whatever
42:03 you believe is true, which is not true, right?
42:06 There is truth.
42:07 There's only one interpretation for the gospel.
42:09 So there are some hills that we need to die on.
42:15 I just think what we need to do is go, okay,
42:17 these are your grace alone, faith alone, Christ alone,
42:20 the Trinity, those are some of the things that we say,
42:23 hey, if you're outside of this, you're not a Christian.
42:27 If you're inside of that, then you're a Christian,
42:31 but you know, you believe that we shouldn't use instruments
42:34 and during worship, okay, check.
42:36 Like, you can believe that, that's fine.
42:38 Like, if I go worship at your church, I won't bring my guitar.
42:42 You know, that is okay, but that is not a salvation.
42:46 I would say that's a style-based thing,
42:49 and I know some of the people are very well-meaning with that,
42:52 and they might say, hey, this is, like,
42:54 here's the biblical case for this, all right.
42:57 That's fine, you can believe that.
42:59 But it is not whether we use instruments or not,
43:03 whether we sing hymns or a little bit more modern songs,
43:06 that does not determine where you spend eternity, right?
43:11 What determines that is, you know,
43:13 whether you have made Christ's Lord of your life,
43:16 you've repented, you were following after him.
43:18 That is what determines where you spend eternity.
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43:51 - Yeah, I think we're in agreement there.
43:54 Let's go and get back to the music thing,
43:55 because I've talked about music quite a bit on this podcast.
43:57 It's been kind of a through point for me
43:59 that I cannot stand the overwhelming majority
44:02 of contemporary Christian music.
44:04 Now, to be fair, I'm a metalhead.
44:06 Like, that's always been the music that I've been into.
44:08 And so, when I was introduced to, like, living sacrifice
44:11 and the, you know, Zayo and, you know, striper,
44:15 like, and all that, like, whenever I was just going
44:17 to church on my own, that always agreed with my palate
44:19 way more than anything that is kind of being sung today.
44:22 But I did a podcast a while back.
44:23 I think it was episode, I can't remember what episode it was,
44:26 but it was contemporary Christian music
44:28 is for women and effeminate men.
44:30 And one of the main through points of that
44:33 is a lot of these songs, the lyrical content,
44:35 is very homoerotic.
44:37 They're written either by women or effeminate men.
44:40 The overwhelming majority of Christian music
44:43 is consumed by women.
44:44 It's marketed to women.
44:46 It's for women.
44:47 And a lot of guys, like, if you don't have that depth
44:50 of kind of personal understanding,
44:52 you'll be sitting there at church,
44:53 looking up at these words on the screen and being like,
44:55 okay, I don't know if I want to sing.
44:58 I want to embrace this man into my arms
45:01 and to bring him close to my bosom and to nuzzle into his grace.
45:04 For whatever reason, that seems weird to me.
45:07 My most guys, maybe they have to separate a little bit.
45:10 And that's not to say that, you know,
45:11 I'm painting with a broad brush here
45:12 just so we can get to the point of my question.
45:14 But I do find that as a major sticking point
45:16 for men specifically, is they go to church,
45:20 this music, is it like any other music?
45:22 There's not a genre of music that sounds like church music
45:24 aside from church music, right?
45:26 It's hard for them to get into.
45:28 And then they're surrounded by a bunch of guys
45:30 that are pretty soft, pretty doughy,
45:32 depending on the church that you're at.
45:34 And it's like, man, is this where I need to be?
45:37 But a lot of it can kind of come back to music.
45:39 And so I'm with you.
45:40 If you're into the Psalms and singing old school hymns,
45:43 freaking go for it.
45:44 Like if you're into singing, you know,
45:46 the new school Hillsong or Bethel songs
45:48 where it's the bridge 47 times and the course 82 times,
45:51 great, like whatever you're into.
45:53 But that does cause a lot of issues for men.
45:55 I mean, am I crazy?
45:57 Because a lot of guys emailed me after that episode.
45:58 They're like, yes, I never knew what it was
46:01 until you described it.
46:02 But yes, I have the same feeling.
46:04 - Yeah, well, I think to some extent there's a,
46:07 and I think this is something we need to teach towards
46:12 is there's a feeling, and I know I was solidly
46:15 in this camp for many, many years of, you know,
46:20 I'm like, you know, like having too much identity in,
46:23 you know, man, and I'm a, you know, in the military.
46:26 And is it like do men sing?
46:31 Like do men play in, like thinking about those things
46:33 more as kind of a feminine things.
46:36 And I'm trying to teach the opposite of that.
46:41 Now, I mean, David sang and danced before the Lord, right?
46:45 He was a man's man.
46:46 When we're doing, you know, when we're worshiping God,
46:52 we're doing adoration, we're praising, you know,
46:55 we're trying to give glory to our Creator.
46:58 Like there's nothing a feminine about that.
47:00 So I think we should be encouraging guys that, hey,
47:05 you should, right, you should be able to pour your heart out.
47:08 Now, in what fashion you do that, yeah, there is a lot of this.
47:13 I mean, you even just look at like the chords
47:14 that most modern stuff is done in.
47:18 It's a much higher pitch because it is sung by a lot more women.
47:26 Or a feminine guys.
47:28 And so I think there is a,
47:30 well, look at a lot of youth leaders now as well.
47:34 Like they're trying to be hipsters and, you know,
47:36 so there's, so I think we need to teach towards that
47:39 and say, look, no, this is like, let's reclaim this.
47:44 Let's reclaim this area and teach the man that, hey,
47:46 it's okay, you know, I don't care how you sound.
47:51 It doesn't matter.
47:52 But you're like, when we're praising God and worshiping God,
47:55 we're giving Him glory.
47:57 This is the person that knew us from before there was time.
48:01 And, you know, knows every hair on our head.
48:04 And so we're saying, God, thank you, you know,
48:07 thank you for all the things that you've done for us.
48:10 And we're praising Him when we're doing worship like that.
48:14 So a key thing that kind of I would stand on worship wise
48:21 is I think the songs need to be doctrinally sound.
48:26 Like I don't, the, I am a friend of God.
48:29 He calls me friend contemporary music song.
48:32 Like I cringe, even though like I know in the Bible,
48:35 it says that, but I feel like we're leaning too much
48:38 on friend Jesus and not, yes, He does call His friend.
48:42 However, He's also our sovereign creator.
48:45 Like there's a level of just, wow, like I am,
48:50 this is not like, hey, we're buddy's friend,
48:52 which is, which I feel like that song in particular conveys.
48:57 So I'm just looking, I pulled up our worship list
49:01 for this past Sunday.
49:03 And we have the mercy, my God, which is a Him,
49:06 yet not I, but Christ in me, which is a newer song,
49:10 but very, I would say Him like before the throne
49:13 of God above, another one that's very Him like,
49:15 He will hold me fast as a Him on Christ,
49:18 the solid rock I stand and then Christ, the shirt,
49:20 steady anchor.
49:21 So very like doctrinally sound and I think it's just,
49:26 it's important because especially as we're teaching people,
49:30 you know, the songs get, songs get stuck in your head, right?
49:34 The stuff that you're listening to,
49:35 it ends up being on repeat, you're doing whatever you're doing
49:38 throughout the day.
49:39 And so it's either, you know, back in my country music days,
49:44 yeah, I'm driving, driving my truck to the bonfire
49:47 and you know, like you can either listen to that,
49:50 you know, have that going through your head all the time,
49:52 which it's interesting looking, you know,
49:54 when I hear country music now, I'm like, oh my gosh,
49:57 like it's really no better than lyrically,
49:59 it's no better than rap music, it's just like the country,
50:02 it's like more like my culture flavor of rap music.
50:06 But like the lyrics are just as bad,
50:08 it's just as much about consuming large quantities
50:12 of alcohol and hooking up with girls.
50:14 That's, I mean, it's the same thing.
50:18 So it's like, what do I want to be meditating on
50:20 throughout the day?
50:21 And, you know, we're supposed to pray without ceasing, right?
50:25 And so if I'm thinking, you know, the lyrics of,
50:30 yet not I, but Christ in me, like, that's something that,
50:34 man, that's what I want to be meditating on.
50:36 So when I am, you know, if I start to get upset
50:39 about something or anxious about something,
50:41 it's like, man, no, it's not, it's not me.
50:43 It's Christ in me, and because he paid the penalty,
50:46 I can overcome this now.
50:48 - But one thing about that, Bill,
50:49 that I feel like is really important to say as well,
50:51 is contemporary Christian music as a genre
50:53 is not the only genre of Christian music.
50:56 Like I really, really like Christian metal.
50:58 Now there are people that, I mean,
51:00 I've gotten one star ratings on this podcast
51:01 'cause people think the intro-altrow music
51:03 to this show is satanic because it's loud,
51:06 gravelly screaming vocals, but they don't understand
51:08 that the guy that is doing those vocals
51:10 is a very devout, biblically based Christian.
51:13 And so it's like, same thing, if you're into hip hop,
51:15 there is Christian music out there for you.
51:17 If you're into bluegrass,
51:18 there is Christian music out there for you.
51:19 So I think that's a very important thing
51:21 for people to remember.
51:22 And like guys, if you could see behind the curtain right now
51:25 and look at my notes, you'd be like,
51:26 Kyle, you are all over the place right now,
51:28 but you're taking me on all these really, really fun roads,
51:30 but we will get back to some of the other stuff.
51:32 One thing I was gonna ask you at the end,
51:33 that I'll just ask you now
51:34 'cause we're already talking about Christianity
51:36 and manhood in general.
51:38 So you already talked about how, you know,
51:39 you kind of had this inner dissonance about being a man
51:42 versus being a Christian and all those different things.
51:44 But Bill, that's the reason why Undaunted Life is here.
51:46 Like our mission is equipping men to push back darkness.
51:49 But the whole reason why I started this was
51:50 because I felt like there were men
51:52 that were missing out on Christ,
51:54 men that were missing out on what the church could provide
51:57 to them and what they could provide to the church
51:59 because they walked in and they realized,
52:01 man, I feel like I gotta check my testicles out the door
52:03 when I walk in here.
52:04 That here's where all the godly men are,
52:06 but all the manly men are out doing other things.
52:08 They're on the range, they're at the gym,
52:10 they're in the garage, they're doing something else.
52:12 And I feel like that's a major, major issue.
52:14 I feel like most modern churches put off this vibe.
52:18 Some of it is subtle, but a lot of it's very overt.
52:21 Like, look, this isn't for you.
52:23 When we make sermons, we have the women in mind
52:26 and the children in mind.
52:27 When we pick what songs we're going to sing,
52:30 we have the women and children in mind.
52:32 You know, and then the churches are shocked
52:34 when 80% of their volunteers are women.
52:36 Whenever the men, they just can't get them excited
52:38 about whatever it is, about the latest, you know,
52:41 food driver, latest, you know, fundraiser,
52:44 the latest whatever.
52:45 And once a year they do a men's event
52:46 where they serve chili and have a guest speaker
52:48 and then they call it good.
52:50 They're worried about men's programming
52:52 and not about discipling men,
52:53 not about making their church man friendly.
52:56 So for you, you might have a little bit
52:58 of an interesting perspective
52:59 'cause you grew up with seemingly
53:00 a very discipleship-focused father,
53:02 your parents were missionaries,
53:04 perhaps the churches you've gone to are man-centric
53:06 and man-friendly.
53:07 But what are your overall thoughts
53:08 about how the modern church is getting wrong,
53:12 their ideas about how they can go after the hearts of men?
53:15 - I think for one, if you're coming at it
53:18 from the perspective of, hey, I'm doing worship
53:21 for women and kids, or I'm going to do a sermon
53:23 for women and kids, like I'd say that's probably
53:27 not very biblical.
53:28 I mean, just looking at, you know,
53:31 I think you should be coming at it from the,
53:35 hey, we need to present the gospel, right?
53:39 That we need to, what is worshipful?
53:42 Like, that's what we need to be doing,
53:45 not trying to cater to, you know,
53:49 one particular group or another.
53:51 I mean, I think with some of the children's church stuff
53:55 or youth church, like, I think that catering
53:57 has caused disasters within Christianity
54:01 because you have these, because people are trying
54:05 to cater specifically to one demographic,
54:09 instead of just saying, hey, you know what,
54:10 let's come together and let's worship
54:12 and study God's Word as a family.
54:14 Now, obviously there's, you know, the younger kids.
54:16 I'm good with, I'm not extreme on that position.
54:20 You know, we have a younger kids Sunday school,
54:23 but we don't have a youth church service, you know,
54:27 concurrent to the normal church service,
54:29 'cause I think there's an age where the kids get it
54:32 and they need to start learning.
54:34 You know, the gospel's being presented.
54:36 And I think sometimes people think,
54:38 oh, the kids can't pick up on this gospel,
54:41 but it's, you know, like, we have to somehow water it down
54:44 or dumb it down for 'em, but then there's a lot of stuff.
54:47 It's God's Word, right?
54:49 And so I think you can't approach any ministry
54:52 from a, hey, I'm only trying to reach this segment
54:55 or that segment.
54:56 Now, I think as men, we've done a horrible job
54:59 of just shirking responsibility, right?
55:04 If you are a Christian, if you're a Christ follower,
55:08 number one, that means that should be
55:11 the primary identity of your life, right?
55:14 Everything else should be after that.
55:17 Husband, father, whatever you do for work,
55:20 what, like all those other things should follow,
55:23 I am a Christian, I am a follower of Christ.
55:26 And so if you just getting guys to change that
55:31 and to go, man, to stop looking at yourself as, you know,
55:35 I am an electrician.
55:38 And that's where I take my main identity,
55:40 stop doing that or even like good things.
55:43 Like, I mean, not that being an electrician
55:45 is not a good thing, but like even husband or father,
55:47 like those are great things.
55:49 But being a Christ follower is so much more important.
55:51 We have to have our primary identity rooted in that.
55:56 And then as soon as we do that, then we go,
55:57 well, man, I'm spending all this time doing other things
56:01 at would I be better off spending more time
56:04 following after Christ?
56:06 Like one of the things I was really convicted on
56:08 was just Paul talks about, you know,
56:11 physical fitnesses or physical trainees of some value,
56:13 but spiritual training is of immense value.
56:15 I'm paraphrasing that a little bit.
56:17 I was super convicted.
56:18 I was like, man, how often do I sit down
56:21 and read the Bible for an hour and a half?
56:24 And the answer is very, very rare.
56:25 Like, unless I'm doing, unless I have to preach,
56:28 or not have to preach, unless I am privileged,
56:31 you know, to bring God's word to people
56:33 and therefore have to sit down here
56:35 and really get after it for a while.
56:38 Like it happens very, very rarely.
56:42 How often do I go out and run for an hour, hour and a half,
56:46 at least once a week?
56:47 Like I'll go put, you know, just go out and run for that long.
56:50 So I used to listen to techno music
56:54 or, you know, an audiobook or something like that,
56:56 generally like something with a beat,
56:58 'cause I'll run faster if I do that.
57:01 And then I started getting convicted about it.
57:04 I'm like, what can I do?
57:05 Well, I have for the last couple of years,
57:07 I've been listening to most of the time
57:09 MacArthur sermons while I'm running.
57:11 And I've been so hugely blessed by that.
57:14 Like my, yeah, just an incredible level of blessing,
57:19 just by going, okay, God, I'm gonna,
57:22 instead of like, you know, getting the few extra calories
57:26 and running just a little bit faster,
57:28 I'm going, you know, I wanna put you first in this area
57:31 and try and continue to, you know,
57:36 increase the depth of my faith while I'm on a run.
57:40 And so now with that, I think we need to,
57:44 first off as men, we need to recognize,
57:46 hey, this is not some effeminate thing, right?
57:50 Meekness is not, meekness is power under control, right?
57:54 Giant war horses were considered to be meek, right?
57:59 That would kick you and cave your face in
58:01 or bite your cheek off like that horse
58:04 was considered to be a meek horse if it was trained properly
58:08 because it would respond to its rider.
58:12 So we should be power under control, we should have that.
58:15 So we need to take as men, we need to take back
58:18 and get involved, whether it's, hey, get up there
58:22 and dust off the guitar and get up and help do worship
58:27 or Sunday school, like you don't need a heavy depth
58:32 of theology to be able, you know,
58:34 to share the gospel with children, right?
58:36 That the material is there for you, like,
58:40 but overwhelmingly Sunday schools are,
58:43 Sunday school classes are taught by women.
58:45 And it's like, so that's part of where this whole problem
58:49 comes from is when you're a kid,
58:52 yeah, yeah, it's my, you know, anti-so-and-so is teaching this
58:55 or, you know, but then as the kids hit the teenage years,
59:00 especially as the young men hit the teenage years,
59:03 they need that man to be able to go, hey, knock it off.
59:06 Like, you're, this is not, you're not on the right,
59:09 like that's not cool that you're out, you know,
59:11 smoking cigarettes or, you know, drinking or like,
59:13 that's not cool, like it's like they, you need a,
59:18 those kids need a man that will stand up
59:21 and for the gospel and say, this is really
59:24 what we're supposed to be doing.
59:25 So I don't know, it's something I've kind of felt convicted
59:32 about lately is just we should be more as men,
59:35 we should be more involved and we should be encouraging
59:38 each other to be more involved.
59:40 Like, you know, that's nice that you're coming to church,
59:43 but like, let's get in the fight, you know?
59:47 Like, let's, if this is really, if you're a follower of Christ,
59:51 this should be the most important thing for you.
59:54 So if you're segmenting and going, well,
59:56 I do Christian stuff Sunday mornings from 10 to new
59:59 and then the rest of my life, I just do whatever
1:00:02 and like maybe I'll say a prayer every once in a while.
1:00:04 Like, man, is, is, to some extent, you know,
1:00:11 and this is a, you know, people won't like hearing this,
1:00:13 but like, are you really saved?
1:00:15 Like, I mean, that would be another,
1:00:17 this thing that I've really been hitting on lately is,
1:00:24 you know, when I was raised, I remember being
1:00:27 in the backseat of a car before we left.
1:00:29 So I was probably five years old
1:00:30 before we left to go to Germany.
1:00:33 And I remember asking one of my friends,
1:00:36 next to me, hey, are you going to heaven?
1:00:38 And then I said, I'm gonna go to heaven.
1:00:40 And then I prayed the center's prayer.
1:00:42 And, you know, Lord, please forgive me of my sins,
1:00:46 come into my life.
1:00:48 And for a long time, I believe that, hey,
1:00:53 if you do that and you're sincere about that,
1:00:54 like you're good forever.
1:00:56 And now the analogy that I like to draw is, you know,
1:01:01 I've been do Jiu Jitsu for 20, 27 years now.
1:01:08 So you get a brand new guy, he wants to roll.
1:01:10 He's like, oh, that looks pretty cool.
1:01:12 So he goes, he buys himself a ghee, goes to the gym,
1:01:17 rolls, and it just has this amazing experience
1:01:20 doing Jiu Jitsu, comes home that night,
1:01:24 wadded up ghee, goes in the corner, next morning,
1:01:27 or next evening, it's time to train.
1:01:28 He looks over, he's like, oh, shoot, my ghee's
1:01:31 like a nasty, moldy, sweaty mess right there.
1:01:34 Like, I'll wash it tonight, I'll roll tomorrow.
1:01:37 The next day rolls around.
1:01:38 He's like, man, I just have this deep muscle soreness,
1:01:42 like I'll roll tomorrow.
1:01:44 This continues for the next five years.
1:01:47 Is that guy a Jiu Jitsu guy,
1:01:49 or did he have an emotional experience
1:01:51 doing Jiu Jitsu one time, right?
1:01:53 As a guy that trains, I'm like, no, you're not a Jiu Jitsu dude.
1:01:56 Like you're just, yeah, you trained one time.
1:01:59 Like that's nice, you know, you're not,
1:02:01 but guys will try and apply that to their faith.
1:02:04 They'll say, oh yeah, I said some words,
1:02:07 and then nothing in my life changed.
1:02:10 And so I'm very much of the belief now that this is,
1:02:15 you know, when you say those words,
1:02:19 that's you're making God Lord of your life, right?
1:02:21 It's not just, I say some words and now I'm forgiven.
1:02:25 And God, and I don't wanna be,
1:02:27 I don't wanna people to get the wrong thing
1:02:29 and go that, hey, I'm espousing a workspace righteousness,
1:02:32 which I am not, or workspace salvation,
1:02:34 which I'm definitely not.
1:02:36 But what I am saying is that if you are a Christian,
1:02:39 there will be fruit in your life.
1:02:40 There will be, like, right?
1:02:44 I mean, the treating about it in Matthew today,
1:02:48 like the, like a good tree bears good fruit,
1:02:52 a bad tree bears bad fruit.
1:02:54 And not to say that sometimes as a believer,
1:02:56 you're not gonna bear some bad fruit,
1:02:57 but there should be a pattern of love, joy, peace,
1:03:01 patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithless self,
1:03:04 like all those things, if you are a follower of Christ,
1:03:06 if you truly have made him Lord of your life,
1:03:09 then that is the direction that your life is going.
1:03:12 Go ahead.
1:03:13 - No, well, so I see where you're going with that.
1:03:17 And there's a lot of stuff in there
1:03:18 that I wanna refer to,
1:03:19 but let's just focus in on that last thing
1:03:21 because I've been listening to a lot of John MacArthur
1:03:23 here recently as well.
1:03:24 So every time I lift or do anything that's really difficult,
1:03:27 I usually have podcasts going.
1:03:28 So I almost don't listen to music anymore.
1:03:30 So here I was talking about music for forever.
1:03:33 I almost don't listen to it.
1:03:33 I listen to it about 5% of the time
1:03:35 I'm listening to something.
1:03:37 But I gotta tell you,
1:03:37 since I've been listening to MacArthur,
1:03:39 there are certain moments in my life
1:03:41 where I feel very, very encouraged
1:03:42 and very in awe of some of the things that he says
1:03:45 and does in his scriptural references,
1:03:48 but it does feel a little worksy to me
1:03:51 because it's that same thing you talked about
1:03:54 to where it's like, we're not seeing enough fruit
1:03:57 to think that little prayer.
1:03:59 And he says it all times to think
1:04:00 that you could just prayer a little prayer
1:04:02 and then be saved is just crazy.
1:04:04 I'm saying it in a real terrible way
1:04:07 compared to the way he says it.
1:04:08 But that does feel like works has to be this huge part of it.
1:04:12 And I think about the seven year old,
1:04:14 the seven year old that doesn't have a lot of bad habits.
1:04:17 It's not like they need to turn away from looking at porn
1:04:19 or turn away from smoking weed
1:04:20 or turn away from all these things.
1:04:22 Their life the day after they become a Christian
1:04:24 will probably look very similar to the day before.
1:04:26 When they were playing sports or watching cartoons
1:04:29 or just doing being a kid, right?
1:04:31 And so it opens up this can of words for me,
1:04:34 which gets back to the thing we were talking about earlier,
1:04:35 which is how in the world do we know for saved or not?
1:04:38 Because as soon as I started listening to MacArthur stuff
1:04:41 and started reading Calvinist theology,
1:04:43 there have been times I've never felt less saved.
1:04:46 Like because of the things that I'm reading and learning,
1:04:49 which is a hard thing for me to say out loud
1:04:51 and a hard thing for me to admit
1:04:52 because now I'm sitting here thinking like,
1:04:54 oh my gosh, I just stood up at a Baptist church
1:04:57 when I was in 10th grade.
1:04:58 And I raised my hand and I walked down to the front
1:05:00 and I prayed a prayer, did I do it, right?
1:05:03 Because like I started reading the Bible
1:05:05 and I started doing some different things
1:05:06 but I was a good kid.
1:05:08 I didn't have this crazy life that I needed to turn away from.
1:05:11 So I got to be honest with you, man,
1:05:12 that is terrifying to me because you get into the scripture
1:05:15 about there will be those that say Lord, Lord,
1:05:17 and they will not enter his kingdom, right?
1:05:19 They're gonna show you their spiritual resume.
1:05:21 They're gonna run down their veto
1:05:22 of all the Christian stuff that they did
1:05:24 and they're not gonna get into heaven.
1:05:25 But it's sermons like that
1:05:27 and it's ideologies like that that I'm like,
1:05:28 oh no, am I different enough?
1:05:31 Which leads me to I'm not doing enough works.
1:05:34 You know, does that make sense?
1:05:35 - Yeah, no, it absolutely does.
1:05:38 The, at one point, so I look back for myself
1:05:43 and was I saved at five years old
1:05:45 or was it at 20 or 21 years old?
1:05:49 Like when I came to that man,
1:05:51 like I'm not like God, give me a desire to follow after you.
1:05:54 Like where was that?
1:05:56 - Ultimately, I believe that, you know,
1:05:59 I was either, I was never a goat.
1:06:02 I was either a lost sheep or a found sheep, right?
1:06:05 Goats don't turn into sheep, right?
1:06:07 So we're, so the fact that you are questioning this
1:06:12 and going, man, God, I'm like, I'm not like,
1:06:17 I need to do more.
1:06:18 Like I'm not seeing enough fruit in my life.
1:06:20 I would say is one of the proofs of the fact
1:06:25 that you are saved, because the more we,
1:06:28 the more we follow after God,
1:06:31 the more we see the depravity of our own hearts,
1:06:34 the more we see, oh man, like I fall short
1:06:36 in so many different areas.
1:06:39 Whereas if you're very surface level Christian,
1:06:41 like you don't see that.
1:06:43 And the more you dig into God's words,
1:06:46 you're like, wow, like I,
1:06:48 and thank you God for dying on the cross
1:06:50 because like I, like I'm screwing this up still.
1:06:55 So I think that is one of the ways that we do see that.
1:07:01 And it is, we do have to be careful to never place,
1:07:06 to never put our faith in whatever works that we're doing.
1:07:11 You know, the works have to be an outpouring of God.
1:07:13 Thank you for doing, you know,
1:07:15 for making a way for me to be right with you.
1:07:17 And in response to that, I want to serve you.
1:07:20 I want to do these things for you.
1:07:22 And yeah, I'm going to work at those things
1:07:24 because they're not, you know,
1:07:26 following after Christ is naughty, right?
1:07:28 That the way is narrow, right?
1:07:30 You know, it's, it is a hard, it is a hard path.
1:07:35 And especially as a man, right?
1:07:36 There's so many things that are, you know, love,
1:07:40 love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
1:07:41 general, stuff, like a lot of those things,
1:07:43 like you don't think of love and joy,
1:07:47 you don't think that is manly virtues.
1:07:50 We're really like, they are some of the most manly virtues.
1:07:54 I mean, our savior was, you know,
1:07:57 the best example of a man that we have, perfect man.
1:08:01 And he loved us so much that he bore our burden, right?
1:08:05 Took our, the penalty that you and I should pay,
1:08:08 but never could pay, he took it on himself, right?
1:08:11 And he did that because he loved us so much.
1:08:13 So love is an absolutely, it's a huge manly virtue.
1:08:17 If we take it outside of faith, right,
1:08:20 just the love that you have for your family
1:08:23 and that's what allows you to go and fight
1:08:28 and die for your family, to go, yeah, okay,
1:08:30 I'm gonna lose, like we're gonna lose here today.
1:08:34 And I'm good with that because my family
1:08:37 is either will survive because of this
1:08:39 or has a higher likelihood of surviving.
1:08:41 Yes, I think in part, we need to reclaim some of that
1:08:46 and just say, these are manly virtues to do this.
1:08:50 And those virtues though are,
1:08:52 they're flowing out of the love that Christ has for us, right?
1:08:57 That the transformed lives that we now have,
1:09:00 those, you know, works come out of that.
1:09:03 Those works do not save us.
1:09:05 If we're counting on those works to save us, we're lost, right?
1:09:08 If it's Christ and anything else,
1:09:11 but you might as well just, you know,
1:09:15 throw Christ out and only have the law.
1:09:17 If it's, you know, the finished work on the cross
1:09:20 plus something else, right?
1:09:22 So our faith has to be holy in the finished work
1:09:24 on the cross and then out of that comes,
1:09:28 man, hey, I'm like, sorry, God, I screwed this up again.
1:09:31 Like, help me to do better this next time.
1:09:33 Help me to love those people more.
1:09:35 Help me to, you know, help me to spend more time.
1:09:37 Help me to do like a sense of a mission.
1:09:39 Like, hey, forgive me for not being involved in my church
1:09:43 and stepping up and like being that guy,
1:09:46 like forgive me for not doing that
1:09:48 because I should be doing that.
1:09:51 - Yeah, I appreciate you going into all that detail.
1:09:52 And the way I set up that question,
1:09:54 some of you guys might be thinking,
1:09:55 oh my gosh, Kyle's having a crisis of faith.
1:09:57 I certainly would not say that.
1:09:59 But there are those times where you have those, you know,
1:10:02 those mountains and valleys in your life
1:10:03 or those sets and flows to where it's like,
1:10:05 okay, you're kind of questioning things,
1:10:06 but it's kind of like how I described to one
1:10:08 of our mutual buddies, Mike Ritland.
1:10:10 I look at Mike Ritland as a skeptic, not a cynic, right?
1:10:14 So a skeptic, so I'm looking at my own Christian life
1:10:16 skeptically.
1:10:17 So a skeptic is like, I need to see
1:10:20 some more evidence of that.
1:10:21 I'm not exactly sure I believe that.
1:10:22 Can you explain that again?
1:10:23 That's how a skeptic approaches something.
1:10:25 Whereas a cynic is like, yeah,
1:10:27 if you gave me a million reasons, I'd need a million in one,
1:10:30 whether they would say that or not.
1:10:31 And so I feel like I'm almost like internally kind of like
1:10:34 naval gazing and being very skeptical about kind of
1:10:38 where I'm at.
1:10:38 So like, no guys, I don't need you to come over to my house
1:10:41 and cover me in prayer.
1:10:42 Like, you know, I'm not about to, you know,
1:10:44 yeah, I'm not about to have this big intervention.
1:10:45 I'm not about to light anything on fire.
1:10:47 We're going to be good to go.
1:10:48 But I really appreciate us kind of going down.
1:10:50 I feel like we went through like a 45 minute rabbit trail
1:10:52 through a bunch of awesome stuff.
1:10:53 So I'm really, really glad that we discussed that
1:10:55 because I do want to come back to your military career now
1:10:57 because even just the stuff we've discussed
1:10:59 for the last hour will kind of inform some of those things.
1:11:02 But you get into the United States military,
1:11:06 you go towards the Navy, you go towards the Seals,
1:11:08 you make it into the Seals.
1:11:10 But I believe it was about five, six years into your career,
1:11:13 you actually became a member of a group called
1:11:15 Naval Special Warfare Development Group or Dev Group
1:11:18 or Dev Gruer or, you know, there are other names
1:11:19 for that as well.
1:11:21 But that is the elite of the elite
1:11:23 inside an already elite spec ops community, right?
1:11:27 And so I guess the thing I'm curious because you're,
1:11:29 I know several guys that were in Dev Group
1:11:32 and you know, they all kind of had their own unique experiences
1:11:34 and went on unique missions and things like that.
1:11:36 But you served, I think it was 14 years in development group.
1:11:40 And again, that is the tippy top of the top tier
1:11:44 of the United States military.
1:11:46 So I guess what kind of led you towards that
1:11:49 because there were a lot of people that, you know,
1:11:50 work a 20 year career in the Seals
1:11:52 but never go through the screening,
1:11:53 never tried to go through green team
1:11:55 or any of those types of things
1:11:56 or perhaps are never invited.
1:11:57 But you were and you did.
1:11:59 So how did you kind of first learn about Dev Gru
1:12:01 and what kind of took you that direction
1:12:03 and then we'll just kind of span out from there?
1:12:05 - So I really didn't have a clue
1:12:07 when I first joined the Navy about Dev Group.
1:12:09 I wanted to join the SEAL teams, got the SEAL team three
1:12:15 and then had a, you know,
1:12:18 started hearing whispers of this mystical place
1:12:22 on the East Coast and to start asking questions.
1:12:26 And at first as a new guy, like as soon as I started
1:12:29 hearing stories, I'm like, this is what I want to do.
1:12:32 But being a new guy, you can't even say that.
1:12:34 You just have to focus on being a good new guy, you know,
1:12:37 just being a good platoon guy.
1:12:39 But yeah, as soon as I started hearing stories about it,
1:12:42 I'm like, that's what I want to do.
1:12:43 I mean, I remember working out
1:12:44 and just thinking about, you know, like extra reps.
1:12:47 Yeah, you know, like thinking about doing that.
1:12:49 That's what I wanted to do.
1:12:51 So I screened together after my first deployment.
1:12:53 We talked a little bit about the, you know,
1:12:58 the interview process for that.
1:13:01 So screened got picked up and then left very shortly after.
1:13:05 I mean, you know, so some guys have great experiences
1:13:10 and, you know, in the SEAL teams.
1:13:12 And I had actually really wanted to go to SEAL team two,
1:13:15 which did, you know, I've skied my whole life.
1:13:19 I love skiing.
1:13:19 I love snowmobile and I, it's part of the reason
1:13:22 I live up in North Idaho now.
1:13:25 You know, almost native German speaker.
1:13:28 I wanted to go to SEAL team two really, really badly.
1:13:32 But I ended up going to the desert,
1:13:34 but it's all part of God's plan.
1:13:35 Like I think in part,
1:13:37 I probably would have enjoyed that too much.
1:13:39 Whereas, you know, we deployed to the Middle East twice
1:13:41 during non-war times and it was miserable.
1:13:44 And I couldn't leave there fast enough
1:13:46 to go out to dev group.
1:13:48 So I showed up there in 2000.
1:13:50 Went through our, you know, selection training
1:13:54 or at the time it was called Green Team
1:13:55 went through that program.
1:13:57 All right.
1:13:58 And then, yeah, got into a squadron
1:14:01 and got to do some really cool stuff.
1:14:05 - So I know you're kind of passing over that
1:14:07 because you're a really, really humble guy.
1:14:09 But kind of, and I'm just going to,
1:14:11 I'm just going to make it awkward.
1:14:12 I'm just going to force you into saying
1:14:13 some really cool things.
1:14:14 So for a generalized civilian populace,
1:14:19 they don't know the difference
1:14:20 between a green beret and a SEAL, right?
1:14:22 Like they just really don't get it.
1:14:23 They know, they don't know exactly
1:14:24 which branches they're in or kind of how they serve.
1:14:27 And what's Delta Force?
1:14:28 Like, is that kind of the same thing that they don't know?
1:14:32 But even people that do know a little bit,
1:14:33 maybe they've read some more memoirs
1:14:35 or watching documentaries or YouTube videos.
1:14:37 They don't even know the difference
1:14:39 between development group and between just a normal SEAL team.
1:14:44 I don't want to say just a regular SEAL team.
1:14:45 Like these aren't, you know, spectacular people.
1:14:48 But there are some fundamental differences
1:14:50 between what it is, you know, a guy that's on SEAL team two
1:14:53 versus development group.
1:14:55 So give us a little bit more insight
1:14:57 as opposed to having to go through another level of selection
1:14:59 and you know, close quarters battle, you know,
1:15:01 being more scrutinized or, you know,
1:15:03 needing to be a better shot
1:15:04 or being in extra good shape or all that.
1:15:06 What are the main differences between those groups?
1:15:08 - It ends up just coming down to mission.
1:15:10 You know, the missions are different.
1:15:12 I can't get into too much of that
1:15:14 'cause it's still like not supposed to talk about that stuff.
1:15:19 So the mission is different, but also like you end up,
1:15:22 so the guys that will even try to go to the command,
1:15:27 like you have to have a minimum of two deployments
1:15:30 at your normal SEAL teams.
1:15:34 And then there's gonna be a, you know,
1:15:36 then there's a selection process.
1:15:38 And then there's a peer review, a peer assessment,
1:15:41 which ends up being a phenomenal tool
1:15:44 because now you look at it and you go,
1:15:46 "Oh yeah, this guy's trying to come."
1:15:47 Like I just did two years ago,
1:15:49 I did a deployment with this guy.
1:15:51 So you've hung out with this dude for two years,
1:15:53 day in and day out.
1:15:54 And so you could say, "Yeah, this guy's a good worker."
1:15:57 Like he's heads up, like he's a good guy.
1:15:59 He'll be an asset or no, this guy's lazy.
1:16:01 Like we don't like this guy.
1:16:02 Like no, thumbs down.
1:16:05 And so like that, that peer review ends up being
1:16:08 a really, really good tool right there.
1:16:11 But then some of the other real benefits that you have,
1:16:13 well, so then you have guys that are good shooters,
1:16:18 they're in shape.
1:16:20 And then they go through another selection process
1:16:23 where you're gonna can 40 to 50% of the guys
1:16:26 that were already like, they're already good SEALs.
1:16:29 But they just don't quite have what it takes
1:16:32 to make it at the command.
1:16:34 Maybe they're not learning something fast enough
1:16:36 or, you know, they're not shooting hard enough
1:16:38 or whatever it is.
1:16:40 So we're starting with a really good group of guys
1:16:43 and then we're canning some of those guys
1:16:46 that are solid, good dudes.
1:16:48 And then I think one of the real benefits
1:16:51 is at a normal SEAL team, right?
1:16:54 You come together as a platoon or as a task unit
1:16:57 and you do a big workup together.
1:16:59 And then at the end of two years, it disbands
1:17:02 and then you start over again with all fresh leadership.
1:17:06 And at the command, you don't have that.
1:17:08 You have a different structure
1:17:11 and those guys will stay within that organization
1:17:15 for a long time.
1:17:16 So you have much better organizational knowledge.
1:17:18 So now if you get a brand, you know,
1:17:19 you get a new officer and he's like,
1:17:21 oh, I think we should do this.
1:17:23 You can look at him and go, well, sir,
1:17:25 we tried that eight years ago and this is,
1:17:28 you know, this is what happened and you know,
1:17:32 so no, we're not gonna do that, sir.
1:17:36 And I don't mean to be disrespectful towards officers.
1:17:38 We had some phenomenal officers,
1:17:40 but I mean, that is kind of the, you know,
1:17:42 that happened quite frequently where there would be,
1:17:45 you know, guys that are there for a shorter period of time
1:17:48 that have a great idea, but hey, you know,
1:17:51 your predecessor, three people removed from you,
1:17:54 had that same great idea and,
1:17:56 but that makes for a much better organization
1:17:58 is the fact that the guys are together for longer.
1:18:01 So now, and then multiply that with now combat tours
1:18:05 where we're going down range.
1:18:07 And, you know, I mean, I remember our first,
1:18:10 the first hits that we did were the classic, you know,
1:18:14 Hilo raid, landing, really landing on the axe.
1:18:17 So landing close, close to the target,
1:18:20 running off, giant explosive bridges,
1:18:23 you know, landing in rice patties.
1:18:24 I mean, all this stuff that, you know,
1:18:28 that's what we had trained to do for years.
1:18:30 And then we started looking and I go,
1:18:33 man, none of this is,
1:18:36 it's really not working, right?
1:18:38 We're trying to catch these guys and they're running away.
1:18:41 And so then we started finding sneakier ways to get in.
1:18:44 And, you know, maybe where there was more walking involved.
1:18:49 And, you know, where we're gonna land further away
1:18:52 and we're gonna walk in or maybe take vehicles someplace
1:18:56 or just come out with different ways of doing it.
1:19:00 And if you don't have that organizational knowledge,
1:19:04 then it's just, oh, yeah, we have this deployment
1:19:06 and then the next time we deploy,
1:19:08 it's all new people and we're just gonna go back
1:19:10 to whatever the doctrine said to do.
1:19:11 And we're gonna do that and we're gonna have the same results.
1:19:14 Whereas by having the same group of people,
1:19:17 you know, with little changes,
1:19:19 your slow changes within, you know,
1:19:21 the organizational structure,
1:19:23 you end up with a collective memory.
1:19:26 So that you can go, oh, yeah, I remember five years ago,
1:19:29 we worked in the same area and this was a sporty area.
1:19:32 Like they wanna fight in this area.
1:19:33 So maybe let's change this part of our tactic
1:19:37 or maybe let's plus up a little bit
1:19:39 or maybe let's make sure we only, you know, do this during,
1:19:42 you know, let's make sure that we have a lot of air assets
1:19:44 stacked, you know, maybe if we say, hey,
1:19:46 our men forces this number of air assets to support us,
1:19:50 maybe we're gonna go into this bad area now
1:19:52 that we know is a bad area.
1:19:54 And so we're gonna, we're gonna ask to double
1:19:56 that level of air support.
1:19:59 I mean, so there's all these things
1:20:00 and what that does is it just leads you
1:20:03 to win the fight more effectively, right?
1:20:07 I mean, we talk about it as I teach guys to fight now,
1:20:10 the it is way better if you just win
1:20:14 than if you have to counter and then win, right?
1:20:18 If I have to do any kind of counter, like it's good,
1:20:21 like you should, if you're into this,
1:20:22 you should know how to do counters.
1:20:24 But way better is that I just win.
1:20:26 I just, you know, whether it's pulling a pistol out,
1:20:28 blade smashing with elbow, like whatever it is,
1:20:31 like it's better for me if I just send it and win,
1:20:34 then if you do some stuff first
1:20:37 and I counter counter counter and then, and then win.
1:20:40 And so the more, you know, having that collective
1:20:42 organizational knowledge and then being able to look
1:20:47 at a target set and go, okay, now let's,
1:20:50 let's make sure that we go in with enough guys.
1:20:52 Right, let's, let's not put four dudes on a mountaintop
1:20:56 and Konaar and, you know, I mean,
1:21:01 that some of that stuff was, if, you know,
1:21:06 with a little bit more organizational knowledge
1:21:09 would not have happened, you know,
1:21:10 some of the disasters that have happened.
1:21:12 - Yeah, and I think it's hard, obviously looking back,
1:21:14 you can look and see all of the issues that have come
1:21:16 and there's been a lot of books and movies made
1:21:18 about some of those issues that came up
1:21:19 from, from poor mission planning.
1:21:21 And I know there's a lot of mission stuff
1:21:23 that you can't specifically talk about,
1:21:25 but I know you have talked about missions before
1:21:27 that left kind of an indolible impact on you.
1:21:29 And I have some in mind, but I don't really wanna influence
1:21:32 and say which one you should share, but, you know,
1:21:34 it would be remiss of me to not ask you share about something
1:21:37 that did happen while you were on mission,
1:21:39 whether it was when you were in dev group or without.
1:21:41 So let the Holy Spirit lead you
1:21:43 whatever story you wanna share, you go for it.
1:21:45 - So I remember one where it was a,
1:21:49 we had a particular sporty target, I think it was
1:21:51 at least a 10K offset.
1:21:53 So we were walking for at least 10 clicks
1:21:56 to get into the target, you know,
1:21:59 knew that the enemy knew we were in the area,
1:22:01 but they didn't know exactly where we were.
1:22:04 It was a pretty, pretty good route if I can say so.
1:22:08 It was a record team leader at the time.
1:22:10 So it was my art team's job to make sure
1:22:12 that we had a good route to get in
1:22:15 where we would remain stealthy the whole time.
1:22:18 And just got in there relatively uncontested.
1:22:23 Like we knew they were, we knew that like the Taliban
1:22:30 knew that we were somewhere in there,
1:22:31 but they didn't know exactly where we were.
1:22:33 And then once we hit the target, then they knew.
1:22:36 And so it got to a point where we were taking,
1:22:38 we were taking fire from three different cardinal directions.
1:22:41 AC-130 were shooting 105s close enough
1:22:46 to where it was hurting my ears.
1:22:47 This is prior to having the amplified hearing protection.
1:22:52 So I just had what we call phone phones on
1:22:55 'cause I didn't, you know, being upfront,
1:22:56 I was like, well, I'll lose some hearing.
1:22:59 I don't really care about that.
1:23:01 But the first sets of the amplified hearing protection,
1:23:04 they didn't, they couldn't really tell you
1:23:05 where the sound was coming from.
1:23:07 So I wasn't wearing them.
1:23:08 So these 105, right?
1:23:10 So AC-130 is a highly modified C-130
1:23:14 that has a howitzer sticking out of the side of it.
1:23:16 And they can just, so they can fly, you know,
1:23:18 a slow, with a slow left turn or right time for it.
1:23:23 Slow turn continuously, and they can just keep hammering.
1:23:27 So the 105s are landing so close
1:23:30 that it's hurting my ears.
1:23:32 I mean, there's a very, very exciting evening.
1:23:37 We left there and, you know,
1:23:39 walked until the sun was already coming up
1:23:43 and birds land were picking up
1:23:48 and there's just tracer fire, like ripping up.
1:23:51 I'm watching the tracer.
1:23:53 I couldn't tell if the tracer was going behind the hilo,
1:23:57 the dash two hilo or right through it.
1:24:00 I couldn't tell.
1:24:01 I remember praying at the time.
1:24:03 And then the minigun is just like the longest burst
1:24:06 of minigun, just wah, wah,
1:24:08 and they're just raking these compounds
1:24:11 where all the tracer fires coming out of.
1:24:14 So yeah, definitely some cool.
1:24:17 That was down in Southern Afghanistan.
1:24:20 I think that was pretty much, you knew,
1:24:22 I think of all the stuff I've done there,
1:24:24 there's only been one time where we didn't actually
1:24:27 get into a fight down in that part of the country.
1:24:30 They just, for whatever reason,
1:24:31 they like to fight down there.
1:24:33 So yeah, that was a good one.
1:24:39 Yeah, I mean, that sounds pretty hairy,
1:24:41 especially to me sitting here in my air-conditioned studio
1:24:43 as you're talking about that.
1:24:44 But real quick, 'cause I do wanna get into some other subjects,
1:24:47 but I am just curious, in those moments,
1:24:51 did you feel like you got into any type of a flow state?
1:24:54 Because obviously you knew every night you went out,
1:24:55 it could have been the last time that you went out.
1:24:57 You guys knew that whenever you signed up, right?
1:24:59 And you know, regardless of what some sensationalized books
1:25:02 or movies might say, you guys aren't going
1:25:03 on suicide missions for the most part.
1:25:05 Like, there's a plan for you getting back safely.
1:25:09 With all of your people and all of your equipment.
1:25:12 But tell me where you would go in your brain
1:25:15 and even in your soul.
1:25:16 Like, were you relaxing these moments?
1:25:19 Were you frenetic, but just under control,
1:25:21 kind of like the meekness of a war horse?
1:25:24 Like, kind of take me through whenever the bullets
1:25:26 started flying, whenever you were landing on a hot LZ
1:25:28 or something like that.
1:25:30 What happened to you specifically?
1:25:32 Not to the team, not to, okay, yeah, we were still moving
1:25:34 and we were still doing what we needed to do.
1:25:35 What happened inside a bill?
1:25:37 - Hey, there's definitely times when I was scared.
1:25:40 I mean, like, nervousness, you know, if you guys wrestle,
1:25:44 like, that pre-walking out on the mat butterflies.
1:25:48 You know, kind of that, that, but amplified by a lot.
1:25:53 So there's definitely times and, you know,
1:25:55 but generally they were pre, like, you know,
1:25:59 as you're flying in, like, that's, you know,
1:26:01 I would have some of that.
1:26:03 And then once you're on the ground,
1:26:03 it's like, hey, I've got work to do, like,
1:26:06 you're just focusing on the task at hand.
1:26:08 And that's the counsel that I give to you guys as well.
1:26:12 Like, if you are involved in something violent,
1:26:15 you need to just do the task at hand, right?
1:26:19 Focus on the current mission
1:26:22 because you can't be in two separate places.
1:26:25 You can't be thinking about family.
1:26:26 You can't be thinking about these other things.
1:26:28 You might think about your family before the mission,
1:26:31 but when it's time to actually go and do work,
1:26:33 like, you can't think about any of those other things
1:26:35 because thinking about those other things
1:26:37 will get you killed, right?
1:26:38 I mean, that's one of the things I talk about now
1:26:40 is persona, right?
1:26:41 We all have different personas if you're, say, you're a cop
1:26:45 and, right, you should be putting on
1:26:48 when you put your duty belt on.
1:26:50 The, hey, I am now the law persona should be coming on.
1:26:54 If you do that and then partway through your shift,
1:26:58 you're thinking about the fight that you had with your wife
1:27:01 or an issue that you're having at home,
1:27:03 like, you might not get to go back
1:27:05 to being the other persona of,
1:27:08 and you don't, we don't discard, right?
1:27:10 I don't mean this persona thing schizophrenically.
1:27:12 I just mean, like, we all have things, right?
1:27:15 Different identities.
1:27:17 And so it's important then when you're in a certain thing,
1:27:23 like you don't, it can't detract, right?
1:27:26 So Christ followers, my primary identity.
1:27:30 Me thinking about the mission on hand
1:27:31 does not detract from that.
1:27:33 But I, you know, or husband is an identity
1:27:38 that is higher to me than being a seal was.
1:27:41 But I can't allow when I'm on a mission,
1:27:45 I can't allow, I can't start thinking about husband things
1:27:49 because then I might not make it back to being a husband
1:27:53 if I do that, right?
1:27:55 So it's very important that in the moment,
1:27:58 you are just thinking about, hey, what do I need to do?
1:28:00 If it's a pre, you know, like the waiting round is generally
1:28:03 the worst, just think about what are the steps?
1:28:06 What am I gonna have to do?
1:28:07 Okay, I'm getting off the bird and I have to go laughter.
1:28:08 I'm getting off the bird and I'm going right.
1:28:10 And then I'm expecting this to happen.
1:28:12 I mean, shoot, talking about the Jessica Lynch thing
1:28:18 with, I just had a student in class
1:28:22 that was part of the air crew that was there,
1:28:26 like in, you know, at Talil Airfield there in Iraq.
1:28:31 And I told him, I'm like, man, when I landed on that,
1:28:35 I think I was on the second little bird going in there,
1:28:36 I'm like, I fully expect it as we ran up to the hospital
1:28:41 to like the Saddam Fedi, you would have a, you know,
1:28:44 sandbag positions and that they'd start machine gunning us
1:28:48 and that we should be trying to throw grenades in there.
1:28:50 Like that was my expectation.
1:28:52 So all I was thinking of like the whole time in is like,
1:28:55 okay, I bet like we're going to land,
1:28:56 I need to move up to here and then, and then, you know, go.
1:29:00 And now it ended up not being nearly, I mean, it was amazing,
1:29:03 but it wasn't nearly as sporty as like it was as it was,
1:29:07 as it was supposed to be.
1:29:09 But yeah, just thinking about, right?
1:29:13 You got to keep those emotions in check, right?
1:29:16 I mean, it's not being courageous is not the absence of fear.
1:29:19 It's being able to control your fear and work through it.
1:29:23 Right? Everyone's going to be the people that say they're not scared,
1:29:25 they're either lying or they're truly crazy.
1:29:28 Right? Almost everyone is scared when, when stuff is going on.
1:29:31 What you want to do is train to the level to where you don't have
1:29:35 to think about it anymore.
1:29:36 It just, it becomes that unconscious competence level of,
1:29:38 yeah, okay, I've thought about this enough.
1:29:41 Okay, I'm going to get off the bird and I'm going to step off,
1:29:43 you know, and I'm going to just start running.
1:29:45 And, and then go and do.
1:29:49 - Yeah. And I think I've heard that same exact thing
1:29:51 from guys that I know that are in this SpecOps community,
1:29:53 every single one of them said they're scared.
1:29:54 Not a single one of them has pretended like they weren't scared
1:29:57 whenever they were, you know, coming up to, to a mission or something
1:30:00 like that. And you mentioned Jiu Jitsu earlier, you know,
1:30:02 for a lot of guys, the closest we'll get to that might be a Jiu Jitsu
1:30:04 tournament or a wrestling tournament or something like that.
1:30:06 Cause I know, like, cause I just got my purple belt.
1:30:08 So I got some way harder competitions coming my way here very soon.
1:30:12 - Yeah. - But like, that's just
1:30:13 the thing is I'm a mess before the match starts.
1:30:16 And then while the match is going on,
1:30:17 I can't tell you exactly what I'm thinking
1:30:19 because I'm not really thinking I'm flowing, not like in flow state
1:30:22 exactly, but it's like, okay, this is what I'm seeing from my opponent.
1:30:26 So these are the takedowns that I feel like are available to me.
1:30:28 Here are the positions that I feel like I can get into, you know,
1:30:30 and you're just kind of breaking it all down.
1:30:32 And it's not until you're like, you know, driving home from the tournament
1:30:34 where you're like, okay, I can kind of start to unpack this a little bit
1:30:38 because beforehand you're just like, man, it's really, really cold in this gym.
1:30:41 Man, I really hope I don't get tapped out in front of my wife.
1:30:44 Man, I really hope my coaches don't look at me, you know, and discuss after this.
1:30:48 And you're worried about all these things, but then whenever the referee says go
1:30:51 and you slap bump, you know, you just kind of have to get after it from then.
1:30:54 But I think we go it, we need to go and fast forward.
1:30:57 Congrats on your purple belt, by the way.
1:30:59 Thank you very much. I do appreciate that.
1:31:01 I didn't slide that in there for the congrats, but I do appreciate it
1:31:04 because maybe, you know, for anyone that doesn't roll purple belt, it's a big deal.
1:31:07 I mean, that's five to eight years. Yeah, that's a good, yeah.
1:31:13 When you just stay on the journey, that's the thing for a lot of guys like,
1:31:16 I don't, I know a lot of guys in my life that have gotten their purple belt
1:31:19 and then have just kind of stayed there and had their purple belt for a long time.
1:31:22 And, you know, these are still bad dudes, but you know, I'm going to stay on the journey
1:31:25 and I'm going to keep working my way up.
1:31:27 It's not about the belt color.
1:31:28 It's about the, you know, progression you make as a man inside of sport.
1:31:31 That challenges you to be better and resilient all the time.
1:31:35 And so for you, go one more jiu-jitsu thing before we move on.
1:31:39 Yeah, I'm actually super excited.
1:31:40 My jiu-jitsu teacher is coming out.
1:31:43 You know, we have a, we're calling the Amtech Training Center at our place.
1:31:47 And he's coming out for a, we're just doing a straight jiu-jitsu and pistols course.
1:31:54 So I'm super excited that my, you know, now my kids, you know, I teach locally here
1:31:59 to our kids with with our father, son ministry program.
1:32:02 But yeah, I'm super excited, Gustavo Machado from Virginia Beach.
1:32:07 So really excited.
1:32:09 He's, he's coming out.
1:32:10 I haven't seen him in, in years now, so it's going to be super cool to have him out here
1:32:15 and get to roll.
1:32:16 Dude, that's going to be amazing.
1:32:18 Like, but here's the thing, I'm just going to blow up the question I was going to ask again,
1:32:21 because you made me think of something else with jiu-jitsu.
1:32:23 So one thing that I've been curious about, like for me specifically, there are certain
1:32:27 positions that I'm more comfortable in because I come from a wrestling background.
1:32:30 So obviously I don't like bottom position as much as I like top position.
1:32:33 I'd rather apply pressure as opposed to trying to redirect pressure and all those
1:32:36 different things, but coming from where, what you're going to do, and we'll get into
1:32:39 AMTAC here in a second as well, like obviously I'm assuming a lot of your jiu-jitsu game
1:32:45 is predicated on what I could actually use in real life to end a fight or to, you know,
1:32:50 separate myself from danger, because there are a lot of things in kind of modern sport
1:32:55 jiu-jitsu bill that are not terribly conducive to winning a street fight or terribly conducive
1:33:00 to, you know, protecting your family or all that.
1:33:02 Like some of the, like you're not going to bare them bolo on asphalt, right?
1:33:06 That's just not something that's probably going to be your best bet.
1:33:09 But I feel like for me, I don't, obviously I'm not good enough at jiu-jitsu and I'm not
1:33:13 experienced enough to tell my teachers or my professors what to teach or to suggest to
1:33:18 somebody, hey, you don't need to train that.
1:33:19 It's not real life.
1:33:20 But for me, everything that I do, and even when I'm rolling, I'm thinking, what if this
1:33:24 were real, like, and what if this was like bigger than rolling a class, bigger than a
1:33:29 competition, what if this was my life on the line?
1:33:32 Like, would I be, you know, jumping for a triangle, flying triangle?
1:33:36 Would I be, you know, trying to yank a guy down and try to do this perfect, you know,
1:33:39 judo trip to end up in top position?
1:33:42 Like kind of walk me through that.
1:33:43 Like what's your overall philosophy, having trained in the sport for two decades now?
1:33:48 Yeah.
1:33:48 So first off, I love doing jiu-jitsu, but it's not, it's not the most important thing.
1:33:54 Like when it, when we talk about the hierarchy of protecting yourself and your family,
1:33:59 awareness is number one, safety with, with your firearms is going to be number two,
1:34:05 making sure that you're that when you pull the gun out, it goes bang.
1:34:09 That would be number three, right?
1:34:11 We've watched that a ton of times guys pull the gun out and goes click.
1:34:14 And then the next one would be a clean draw stroke from concealment, combative
1:34:19 weapons retention shooting, and then other blade, other strong hand only blade
1:34:23 deployment and targeting after we have those things down, because those are the
1:34:27 biggest, biggest return on investment, right?
1:34:29 Think about, I can take a fairly weak woman and in about five minutes,
1:34:37 show her how to safely load the pistol and point at the door.
1:34:40 I don't want to have to come through that door after five minutes of training.
1:34:44 You can't do that with jiu-jitsu, right?
1:34:46 With a little bit more, if she uses surprise, that same girl can now hold a blade.
1:34:51 And now if you don't realize, if you don't realize that, she's going, no, no,
1:34:56 please, right, conceal the blade here and go, no, please, please, right?
1:35:00 And now you lay hands on her and right again, chance for her to win.
1:35:05 The jiu-jitsu piece is super important.
1:35:07 We need to be able to do that because we can win with a lower level of violence.
1:35:10 If we can control people also allows us to stay on our feet, which is super
1:35:14 important in dealing with multiple targets, right?
1:35:17 Fighting multiple people at a time.
1:35:19 So specifically with jiu-jitsu.
1:35:25 Number one, always dominate top position.
1:35:27 I, you know, I've been teaching our local kids for about seven and a half years.
1:35:32 Now I tell them, please do not shame me by pulling guard.
1:35:35 Like we are going to, we will start, we start in guard all the time.
1:35:39 But I'm like, you will never, ever pull guard.
1:35:41 Like don't shame.
1:35:42 And I'm serious.
1:35:43 Like don't, don't do that because it's not a, because we're not, because I don't
1:35:47 come at it from a sports jiu-jitsu perspective.
1:35:49 So that would, that would be number one.
1:35:50 Um, number two, if you're, if you're a big guy, do big guy moves.
1:35:55 Go like do, I honestly think it's disrespectful to just kind of like, if I'm,
1:36:00 if I'm a big guy, of course I'm going to, of course I'm going to use my
1:36:03 strength and my size.
1:36:04 Why would I not do that?
1:36:05 I mean, I'm not saying like on a 10 year old, but like, like, why would I, like,
1:36:09 I have like, that's my game.
1:36:11 I do, I do big guy moves.
1:36:13 My teacher, who was smaller than me, like crushes me still.
1:36:18 You know, and I'm like the last time we rolled, he taps me out.
1:36:22 I'm like, like, Google, I'm bigger and stronger than you.
1:36:25 And he goes, he goes, yes, but I taught you everything you know.
1:36:30 You know, he's just smiling, smiling at me.
1:36:32 Um, good morning, my son.
1:36:35 You need to go back upstairs.
1:36:38 Okay.
1:36:38 Hey, buddy.
1:36:39 Give me a hug first.
1:36:41 Can wave at the camera.
1:36:45 All right.
1:36:46 Good.
1:36:46 Hey, buddy.
1:36:47 Have a good morning.
1:36:49 Um, so.
1:36:56 Being able to, right, do, do, do big guy moves the whole flow role.
1:37:00 Let's keep it playful, bro.
1:37:02 Like my head wants to explode when I hear guys say that.
1:37:07 I, to me, it's, it's disrespectful.
1:37:10 Like if we're like, I can feed you stuff and like, okay, I'm just, like,
1:37:14 this is, this training is for you.
1:37:15 I'm going to, like, I'm going to give you my arms and we give you my neck.
1:37:19 Like I've got, you know, like I'll resist for a second to make sure that you do a
1:37:23 counter and then I'll let you get it.
1:37:24 Like I can do that, but it's not competitive.
1:37:27 It's just I'm feeding you and then you're going to feed me and do the same thing.
1:37:31 Like I'm, I'm good with doing that.
1:37:33 But this whole, Hey, we're just going to go 50%.
1:37:36 No, because we're competitive.
1:37:39 If someone's not injured, if someone's not injured at that moment,
1:37:41 that's probably not the best use of either of your time.
1:37:43 Yes.
1:37:44 Like if, if, because maybe then I think you're going 51%.
1:37:48 And then I have to apply 52.
1:37:51 So let's just, let's just dispense with that and go, Hey, you know what?
1:37:54 Don't, so when I teach our kids before we roll, I say, all right, what are rules?
1:37:58 Number one, don't hurt your training partner.
1:37:59 Why?
1:38:00 Because then you can't keep training if you hurt your training partner.
1:38:02 What's rule number two?
1:38:03 Don't be a spass.
1:38:04 Right.
1:38:05 I got to say that for myself.
1:38:06 I, I know that I roll hard.
1:38:08 There's been times when I was younger where like, I, I, yes, but not so much
1:38:14 in jujitsu, but in just general, like work stuff, like I did go too hard.
1:38:19 Um, you know, from a misplaced sense of, of urgency or of, of, of trying
1:38:25 to go hard in areas where I didn't need to, um, other technical things, neon
1:38:31 belly, hugely underappreciated in jujitsu.
1:38:35 Because if you think about, I know that if a guy is as good as me, I can
1:38:40 probably hold neon belly, maybe for a short period of time.
1:38:43 If he's better than me, I probably can't even hold neon belly.
1:38:46 Um, he's going to, he's going to be able to get out of it.
1:38:49 Cause it's not a stable, but who are we actually fighting?
1:38:51 Generally people that don't know jujitsu, neon belly is the position.
1:38:55 Cause I can access either tool, right?
1:38:58 I can do, uh, another really important concept.
1:39:01 Don't look at me concept, push on their fate, put specifically on their eyes,
1:39:05 push their head offline, not dig your hands into their eyes, but put your
1:39:08 hand across their ocular cavity and push on them.
1:39:11 Cause what does everyone do when you do that?
1:39:12 They reach up.
1:39:14 They don't like that.
1:39:14 They try and strip it off.
1:39:15 If you're stripping your hand off of my face, you're not pulling a tool out.
1:39:18 Cause I can pull a tool out with one hand, right?
1:39:21 I can draw with either hand.
1:39:22 Um, so if I'm doing that, you're not drawing, which again, goes back to you
1:39:27 that, you know, what we call logical order thought in regards to like, I'm
1:39:31 looking at all this from a, I'm fighting for real.
1:39:34 Um, another thing with mount being, or with neon belly being such a great
1:39:39 position is if I have neon belly on you and, you know, I smash you a few times
1:39:43 and now your buddies show up, I can disengage.
1:39:46 I have mount on you, I smash you a few times.
1:39:50 Now your buddies show up.
1:39:51 You have a vote in the matter, or I mean, you still have a vote in the matter,
1:39:54 even on, from neon belly, but it is way easier for you just to grab on to me
1:39:59 and go, well, all I have to do is hold you here another 10 seconds.
1:40:02 And then my buddy hits you in the head with his brick, right?
1:40:05 So being neon belly is huge.
1:40:08 Um, next Jiu Jitsu specific piece, Kimura, like I, I came up with
1:40:14 arm bars or King, like, all right, we're going to start class with 50
1:40:17 arm bars, each side from guard, like, and I'll still arm bar guys.
1:40:21 Because I'm teaching them Jiu Jitsu and like, you have to know how to do
1:40:25 arm bars and you have to be able to escape from arm bars, but tactically,
1:40:28 Kimura's are so much better because I can be, I can do kumura from top
1:40:33 visit, I can do kumura from all different positions, but really.
1:40:35 Where I want to be doing kumura from is I can do it from that neon belly.
1:40:41 I can control his hand, I can rip him up, ripped up shoulders or harder
1:40:45 for the guy to continue fighting from than popped elbows are.
1:40:48 And it keeps me in a dominant position and also it lines things up
1:40:52 for cuffing people as well.
1:40:54 If I did need to, you know, cuff the person afterwards, it is easier to do
1:41:00 from that position of kumura, especially kumura from the top, then
1:41:05 it's going to be from me pulling a triangle on the guy or arm bar in
1:41:09 the guy or anything else like that.
1:41:11 Um, another really important one every time I teach our kids at any time
1:41:17 you change positions, side control, situational awareness scan, neon
1:41:22 belly, situational awareness scan, like each time you change position,
1:41:26 that should be the first thing you do is situational awareness scan,
1:41:29 because we should always approach it as if, you know, fair fights, they
1:41:34 only happen with your, you know, drunk brother-in-law, right?
1:41:37 They don't or like a very specific, maybe you're, you're a firefighter
1:41:41 and it's at the firehouse.
1:41:42 And like there's a Christmas party, like, and there's a guy that you just,
1:41:45 you know, like that's the only time there's a fair fight.
1:41:48 The rest of the time we have to assume that there's going to be more
1:41:52 than one person attacking you and there are going to be weapons involved.
1:41:56 Therefore, situational awareness scan head on a head on a swivel.
1:42:00 Like that's another thing as I'm rolling with guys now, it's no longer
1:42:03 this focus on just on them.
1:42:05 It's okay, I can, you know, blind people grapple and grappled well, right?
1:42:09 So if they can grapple well blind as I'm working walks, like I'm trying
1:42:14 to look around and take in the environment around me because you
1:42:21 could be the best Jiu Jitsu guy on the planet and your head down.
1:42:24 And now you get the brick to the back of the head and not a whole
1:42:27 lot of skill involved in getting smashed in the head with a brick.
1:42:30 No, you're talking about a lot of things that I think are very
1:42:34 important in terms of Jiu Jitsu is thinking about what you're training for
1:42:38 because I know guys that are world champions and that is what they're
1:42:41 training for.
1:42:42 But obviously world championship level Jiu Jitsu is going to translate
1:42:45 well in the streets, but there may be some holes here or there.
1:42:48 But the same thing is true.
1:42:49 I know that some people have advocated for, you know, every now
1:42:52 and then at your gym, you should roll where guys are wearing 16 ounce
1:42:55 boxing gloves, but only one of the guys.
1:42:57 So a guy starts mounted in you.
1:42:59 He's got 16 ounce boxing gloves on.
1:43:00 And so your little like frame on their hip in here, let me take my time
1:43:04 and work this hip out.
1:43:05 And then I'll switch and then take my time.
1:43:07 Well, if the guy on top of you is throwing even 50% punches, that
1:43:11 that plane goes out the window pretty quick.
1:43:13 And so I think that that's a good thing to remind everybody about
1:43:16 with Jiu Jitsu.
1:43:16 And I mean, we could literally spend the rest of the day talking
1:43:19 about the two different things talk for hours about.
1:43:22 But I do need to get to a couple more things before we get you out of here.
1:43:25 So you can go hang out with your son.
1:43:26 Obviously you decide to get out of the military.
1:43:29 You did 20 years in the United States Navy as a seal, but you decided
1:43:32 that was it for you.
1:43:33 You weren't going to go any further than your 20 years.
1:43:35 Then you decided that you were going to start your own, you know,
1:43:38 self-defense training company.
1:43:40 And so firearms and blades and different things.
1:43:43 And that's an AMP tax shooting.
1:43:44 Yeah.
1:43:44 So I guess the thing that that why, like, why go this route?
1:43:49 Like why teach civilians like me and guys like me and gals that are kind
1:43:53 of wired like that, you know, teaching them the stuff that our tax dollars
1:43:57 paid you to learn while you were in the Navy.
1:43:59 Why not go do something else entirely?
1:44:01 Like some guys get out and they're like, I'm going to go sell insurance.
1:44:04 Like I'm going to try to start a watch company or like they're, they're
1:44:07 doing something completely different.
1:44:08 So why go that route?
1:44:09 Why was that the next step?
1:44:10 I mean, it's something I've always enjoyed.
1:44:13 I mean, and, and the, uh, there's, there's a lot of stuff that I learned at work.
1:44:20 But there's honestly, there's a lot of, I mean, for years and years, they, the
1:44:26 work was not paying for my jujitsu late, like a lot later on that we've, we got
1:44:31 it figured out and then they paid for jujitsu.
1:44:33 But for years and years, that was all like I was taking my own time to, to go
1:44:39 and do jujitsu training or go train with SIOC or, or show up early and shoot.
1:44:45 Like that was all, that was stuff that I just, I looked at and I'm like, Hey,
1:44:49 this is like, I want to be that I got like, I want to be good at this.
1:44:53 I don't want to be, you know, just good and, you know, I want to be really good at it.
1:44:58 Um, and so it's, it's, with anything, like if you want to be really good at, you
1:45:03 actually have to do it a lot and you have to do it on your own time.
1:45:06 So it was something that I already enjoyed doing.
1:45:09 The last, uh, kind of how I got to, to Antec shooting the last two years, I was
1:45:13 active duty.
1:45:14 I ran our canine program and I had a bunch of guys that worked for me that
1:45:17 weren't seals.
1:45:18 They were Navy mastered arms. Those guys have a significantly, um, less
1:45:25 intensive, uh, firearms and tactical training than, than the frog men do.
1:45:30 Uh, so with, with these guys, I started making them go to the range with me at
1:45:36 least once a week.
1:45:37 I started doing CQB with the guys and then we'd go on the road and, you know,
1:45:42 with the different law enforcement groups would host us.
1:45:45 And, you know, so I'm, I'm teaching, I've got my guys on the line teaching them.
1:45:49 And as a thank you, I'd always throw in one or two, one or two cops that were
1:45:52 standing around like safety guy, you know, they're, they're, they're
1:45:56 RSOs for, for their range.
1:45:58 And they're just hanging out and I'm like, Hey, come on up, man.
1:46:00 Like get on the line.
1:46:00 Do some shooting with us.
1:46:01 And those guys would come up to me afterwards and they'd go, man, that was
1:46:05 amazing.
1:46:05 Like you actually talked about and demoed and, um, and I'm like, what?
1:46:09 Doesn't everyone teach that way?
1:46:11 And they're like, no, um, so I was encouraged.
1:46:15 So, and then I had a bunch of retired cops that, that, that worked for me at
1:46:18 the time and they, they really encouraged me.
1:46:20 They're like, Hey, you could, you could crush this.
1:46:22 If you know, if you, if you wanted to go down this path and so I started
1:46:29 going down this path and didn't really know where I was going to, you know,
1:46:33 was I going to teach mostly mill guys, mostly cops, like really didn't know.
1:46:37 And, uh, had some, another good friend of mine called before.
1:46:42 Um, if you ever get a chance to definitely try and try and train with Kyle.
1:46:45 He's one of the top guys in industry right now.
1:46:48 Um, but I asked him and he gave me some great counsel.
1:46:51 I got to, got to help teach a class for him.
1:46:53 And, and, uh, man, I've just been so blessed with solid students.
1:46:58 Like, so my baseline student is a civilian.
1:47:00 There's just serious about protecting themselves and their family.
1:47:03 The guys can shoot.
1:47:05 Um, like when my former teammates asked me about some of my students, I'll be like,
1:47:11 I'll be like, yeah, they'll, they'll outrun you with, with their pistol.
1:47:15 Like a lot of my guys will outrun former teammates with pistols, not with carbines.
1:47:19 Um, but with pistols just because they're, they're into it.
1:47:22 Like that's, like that's what they do.
1:47:25 And so I really, I appreciate guys that want to learn.
1:47:28 So with the civilians, like you get a guy that had to buy his own pistol, had to buy his own
1:47:33 ammo, had to buy his own holster, like had to take time off from work to come train.
1:47:37 Like all it had to, you know, take time away from his family to come train.
1:47:39 Like, so those guys are, they're generally, they're really motivated, um, to do the training.
1:47:45 And I, like, when, when guys want to learn, like those are the guys that I want to teach.
1:47:49 So I, I, I've really enjoyed that.
1:47:51 I've enjoyed the kind of camaraderie that I, more than half the places where I go and
1:47:58 teach, I stay with friends.
1:47:59 Uh, you know, like they pick me up at the airport and I'm hanging out with friends.
1:48:03 So it's almost like little mini reunions every time I go someplace.
1:48:06 Um, the culture is guys aren't drinking overwhelmingly.
1:48:11 Guys aren't drinking.
1:48:12 Like, and, and I do try and invite guys out.
1:48:14 Hey, let's go out to eat dinner at, you know, after, after day one just because your relationships
1:48:19 are important and it's, it's cool just to hang out with guys and, and you know, and foster,
1:48:23 not just me getting to know these guys, but the guys getting to know each other as well.
1:48:27 Uh, overwhelmingly guys aren't consuming any alcohol or if they are, it's like they're having
1:48:33 one, one beverage. Um, so it's just like this very like, hey, if I'm, if I have to be gone for
1:48:39 my family, like that, that's a good, like those are good people to be hanging out with.
1:48:44 All, and then, you know, really most, most importantly, it's share the gospel now with
1:48:48 them. Like as part of mindset, I do a mindset talk every any time I do a two day class,
1:48:52 there's a mindset talk and we talk about a lot of things that will help you survive a violent
1:48:57 confrontation, but then we finish with a, you might do everything right and you might die.
1:49:01 And so therefore, like we can't talk about readiness without talking about readiness
1:49:05 for death and being right with God and how, hey, the only way that you're right with God is through
1:49:10 his son, Jesus. Um, and so it's really, it's, it's, it's awesome that, you know, and I, I did not,
1:49:15 like I've grown in my, you know, boldness, like my, my initial mindset talks were like,
1:49:20 they would end with like one sentence of be right with God. And now it's like a little mini,
1:49:25 mini sermon, like I'll talk about Peter and, you know, that's one of the really, um, you know,
1:49:30 just looking at the life of Peter and how he goes from kind of on, on again, off again,
1:49:34 faith to when it's time for, for him to die, right? You know, church tradition tells us this not,
1:49:41 not the Bible, but you know, he encourages his wife first, she's crucified. And then it's his
1:49:46 turn and he goes upside down, like not worthy to die the same way my savior dies or died. Um,
1:49:52 and it's like what makes a guy, what makes a guy like that go from, oh yeah, I'll fight for you and
1:49:59 die for you and then run away or I'll fight for you and die for you and then deny him. And then like,
1:50:03 the only answer to that is the resurrection. Peter saw the resurrection. Um, and then he,
1:50:08 his life was changed after that. Um, and so it's just, it's a huge privilege to be able to,
1:50:15 you know, yeah, I get to teach guys how to, how to shoot and fight and, you know, hopefully foster
1:50:20 some camaraderie and, and, and some friendships there, but then most importantly, I also get to
1:50:25 share the gospel with guys. It's an incredible thing. And unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend,
1:50:30 you were actually in my neck, the woods here recently, but timing didn't quite work out with
1:50:34 a newborn, but I got to pin in that because we will make sure that I'm out there in the future. But
1:50:39 I read enough reviews and talk to enough people that have gone to your events. And it's, it's a
1:50:43 different level of training than what a lot of people will experience. And there are those other
1:50:47 elements that you do bring in. So guys in the show notes, there will be a link to your website.
1:50:50 So you can see whenever you have a different classes coming up and everything else. But I
1:50:54 want to end today with something that I heard you talk about on another podcast that I didn't know
1:50:57 that you were actually dealing with in my understanding is you're still trying to figure out exactly
1:51:01 what to do with it. And it's something that I'm becoming more and more obsessed with because I
1:51:05 just had my second son. And that's right to passage. And so teaching young men ushering them
1:51:11 into manhood. And there are different organizations I've tried to do things like this. And maybe
1:51:16 just didn't work out well. I know that there's kind of a ground swell with fathers that, you know,
1:51:21 they know their church isn't going to teach their young boy to be a man. And so they're taking more
1:51:25 of a forward approach to how that those things are happening. And that's something that that
1:51:29 you're doing. So you're trying to figure out how can we make sure that these young men understand
1:51:34 what it means to be a man, not just, you know, checking boxes, but also the things that are
1:51:38 required of them. And the things are expected of them and the responsibilities that they will have
1:51:42 as they grow older. So talk to me a little bit about kind of why that's so important to you and
1:51:46 some of the things you're trying to do with it. So we have been doing a program now for
1:51:52 shoot about seven seven plus years now it's called father son ministry. I'm trying to
1:52:00 just a second trying to pull up my my notes on that just because it kind of will give a clear and
1:52:10 concise mission statement for it. There we go. So we started doing that. So, you know, I retired,
1:52:21 we came out here. I kind of had this on my heart that like I want to do something
1:52:25 for most I was thinking for the boys at the time, like I want them to grow up and no one
1:52:32 loved Jesus said is the most important thing. But also I want them to be capable men, right? And in
1:52:38 part, I got this from if any guys are familiar with Colonel Cooper, right? He's one of the, you know,
1:52:44 hardcore old school dude on he kind of one of the founders of competitive, you know,
1:52:49 Ipsack shooting started gun sight out in Arizona. And he used to have on the back page of guns and
1:52:55 ammo, you know, Cooper's corner, these ramplains, some of them good, some of them less good. But
1:53:00 one of them was, Hey, what should a young man know when he leaves, you know, in the whole, you know,
1:53:04 shoot, you know, speak the truth, ride ride and shoot hard, you know, like, so yeah, he had, and
1:53:10 then he had, he had a list of stuff. So I started looking at, what do I want my boys to know? Like,
1:53:15 what's important to me that they know? And number one, it is that they become committed followers of
1:53:22 Christ. But then after that, I want them to be capable. I want them to be able to, you know, to
1:53:26 protect themselves and their families. And then I want them to know a lot about a lot of different
1:53:30 things. So for father, son ministry, as we wrote it down, the purpose to glorify God by raising
1:53:38 our sons to know Jesus and be obedient to him. Proverbs 22, 6 has trained up a child in the way
1:53:44 he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. The number two was to encourage
1:53:49 fathers with their walk with the Lord. Proverbs 27, 17 says iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens
1:53:55 another. That point, I mean, I thought it was going to be mostly for the kids. And I think it's
1:54:01 every bit for the men as well. Like it's really morphed into like this Bible study for the men
1:54:08 and the boys now as part of it. Number three, to teach our boys to be men, to take care of their
1:54:13 families that are well rounded. Number four, to train fathers to be examples for their sons.
1:54:19 And number five, to create a community of godly men to go through life together. So core skills,
1:54:25 developing a relationship with Christ, this must be the foundation upon which we live our lives.
1:54:29 Number two, fighting as men, we have a duty to protect our families and to stand up for the
1:54:35 fatherless, knowing how to shoot and fight allows you to be God's instrument for protecting those
1:54:39 around you. And number three, life skills, men should know a lot about a wide variety of topics.
1:54:45 See the list below. So the list, fitness, right? Fatigue makes cowards of us all,
1:54:52 that's Vince Lombardi quote right there, which is phenomenal. And it's so true, right? The guy
1:54:58 that's like hardcore, when he gets tired, like, you know, makes cowards of us all. Fighting base art,
1:55:06 jiu jitsu mindset, mostly from Syak, and then incorporating Thai boxing, Western boxing wrestling,
1:55:15 shooting, primitive skills, how to make shelters, you know, shelter, water, fire food, animal
1:55:19 husbandry, preserving food, understanding engines, vehicle repair, like just changing your oil,
1:55:24 getting vehicles unstuck, basic plumbing, basic electrical, like all these things, I was super
1:55:30 deficient on like I didn't know how to do most of these things when I left home at 17. But I want
1:55:34 my boys to be better than me. So and then kind of as a, as a verse for the whole program,
1:55:41 Deuteronomy 31 six, be strong and courageous, do not be, do not fear or be in dread of them for
1:55:47 it is the Lord your God who goes with you, he will not leave you or forsake you. So that's just
1:55:54 been a really cool program. We're actually kind of praying about maybe making it a national level
1:55:59 program to try and be able to encourage guys we've already had a couple other we've got currently,
1:56:05 we've got a new Hampshire branch. It is one of my, one of my good friends is doing a branch there,
1:56:10 we've had Washington and we had Atlanta going for a while as well. But like, so we're kind of praying
1:56:15 through what is it? What would it look like to do this as a national organization, kind of a
1:56:20 resource for men that, that want to do something like this in their own backyards. And we do it
1:56:26 through our church. So we are under the authority of our church as, as we do this. I mean, we meet
1:56:33 at our local church, we got wrestling mats. And it's, so that's been a huge blessing. It's also
1:56:37 like just personal development. When I, when we started this, the, I remember talking to the old
1:56:44 pastor and I'm like, Hey, yeah, I'm good for the Bible lesson, like maybe every other month, but
1:56:49 you know, it's a lot, you know, it's because it took me hours to prep for a 20 minute Bible lesson.
1:56:53 And now it's like, man, if I'm in town, I'm generally the guy doing it. And it does not take me two
1:56:58 hours or three hours to prep for it anymore. So like it's, you know, getting reps in, you know,
1:57:04 preparing little mini sermons has been huge. I think it's an important thing.
1:57:10 Just for fathers to hear the extent to which you've gone into planning for this, because a lot of
1:57:14 guys try to do this haphazardly, you know, every now and then, oh, you know, do as I say, not as I do,
1:57:19 or hey, just kind of watch me and those different things. But there are a lot of great resources
1:57:23 out there. I know that you're going to continue to grow the stuff that you're doing. I've talked
1:57:25 to John Tyson before, the intentional father, they're, they're going to be putting out an entire,
1:57:30 you know, plethora of resources for folks. But I think that there's a lot of things that you can
1:57:34 build out that is going to be optimal for you and your family and the timing of your family.
1:57:38 Because obviously, if you have one son, you can put 18 years worth of focus into that one kid
1:57:43 becoming a man. But if you have multiple sons, like me and a lot of our listeners, it's going to go
1:57:47 further out from there. But hey, if I can add one more thing, because I just wanted to touch on it,
1:57:54 you mentioned it like rights of passage type things. I think those can be really good.
1:57:59 But I think it has to be an all and approach. It cannot just be a
1:58:06 rights of passage. Some of the stuff that I've read where guys are like kind of tracking on the
1:58:11 same line. Like, you know, they do like one big thing for them, you know, as their teenage years,
1:58:18 or maybe it's even multiple things. I think the guys that are doing multiple things like, hey,
1:58:22 at 10, we're doing something and at 13 and at 15, like, I think that's more online. But I think
1:58:28 really, you cannot get away from the day in and out, just logging through every week,
1:58:37 we go and do hard, you're going to do hard stuff together with other boys, right? I mean, I love it.
1:58:43 I've had boys crying. I mean, just rolling so hard that they're like, they're crying afterwards,
1:58:49 you know, boxing stuff where they're, you know, they're crying, they're scared getting in there,
1:58:55 like, but that's so good for young men. It's good for young men to lose sometimes,
1:59:00 right? It's good. Like we need to, and then we're doing it with their fathers there, with their
1:59:06 peers, their friends are there, right? So they get that and then they're also, they're getting the
1:59:11 gospel every single, every single weekday when we need to do this. Like, we're sharing the gospel
1:59:17 with them. I'm encouraging some of the, you know, from time to time, but like, I'll ask one of the
1:59:21 older boys, hey, share. What is, what is the gospel mean to you? Like, if, if I say, hey, give me,
1:59:26 like, tell me about this whole gospel business. Like, why, what, where's, where's the hope that
1:59:31 you have? Like, like, so, so now that we're doing leadership, we're encouraging them in their faith.
1:59:37 So like, you cannot get it. So I think it is good to have initiation type things where maybe,
1:59:43 you know, I've thought about as they get older, like, hey, you have to go into the woods, like,
1:59:48 by yourself for a couple days and like, you know, traverse a distant, you know, like, I think there's
1:59:53 some stuff like that that's really good. But you can't just do that. There has to be that day in,
1:59:59 day out, you know, where the, you know, the meat and potatoes of it is, is what they're getting on a
2:00:06 weekly basis. And then you have these culminating events that they can look back on and go, wow,
2:00:11 that was really cool. I did, I did that. But the only reason they were able to succeed on that
2:00:16 is because they have those years of, oh, yeah, it's raining or snowing. It doesn't matter. We're
2:00:21 still going out and we're hiking. We're still going to camp out or, you know, we're going to go
2:00:25 sleep in the snow or whatever it is. Yeah, I think it's, it's very good to not realize that you,
2:00:30 you don't have to put all your eggs in one basket. And it's the difference between taking your kid
2:00:33 to a church camp and they have the church camp experience versus discipling a child. Like those
2:00:37 are not the same thing. So like you've got this high coming out of church camp, but then Monday
2:00:42 rolls around, you got to go to class. You got to go to work. It's like, okay, you can't just
2:00:45 depend on those types of things. But Bill, we've gone everywhere in this conversation again.
2:00:49 Yes, we have absolutely light up with laughter. If you saw my notes versus what we actually ended
2:00:54 up talking about, but I think it, it warranted a much better conversation that we were able to
2:00:58 flow that way. But as for now, I'm sure we'll, we'll do this again at some point down the,
2:01:02 down the road. But as for now, that is all for me. Is there anything else you want to get off
2:01:05 your chest? No, thanks for having me on. Great being here. Good conversation.
2:01:09 All right. Bill rapier. Thank you for coming on a Daunton life of man's podcast.
2:01:13 Thank you. There you go, guys. I hope you enjoyed my time with Bill rapier. But before we let you
2:01:18 go, we are going to do a quick resilience boost at undaunted life. Our mission is equipping men to
2:01:22 push back darkness with content that for just spiritual mental and physical resilience. So the
2:01:26 links I've got for you today is the AMTAC shooting website. So you can check out what classes are
2:01:30 going to be potentially coming to your area. Also, we didn't get to spend a lot of time talking about
2:01:33 this, but AMTAC blades, he makes his own, you know, fixed blades and different things like that.
2:01:38 They're just absolutely incredible, incredible knives. So I've got that website here and also
2:01:41 a link to the AMTAC shooting Instagram. All right, guys. Thanks so much for listening to this podcast.
2:01:45 We do appreciate it. Wherever you're listening to this, please subscribe,
2:01:47 rate, leave us a positive five star view. If you want to come speak live at your event or on
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2:02:01 including how to donate to keep more content like this coming your way. Just go to www.undaunted.life.
2:02:06 And as always, we want to thank the band August Burns Red for allowing us to use their music for
2:02:10 our content. The music on this podcast is our song, cutting the tides, which is off their 10th
2:02:13 anniversary, re-recording of their album leveler. The links are in the description.
2:02:17 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep pushing back darkness, keep forging spiritual,
2:02:24 mental and physical resilience. Keep seeking the lion of Judah.
2:02:40 And the fight now, you'll be revived.
Key quotes
2
Bill Rapier
There's a massive difference between murdering someone and killing them in battle.
Kyle Thompson
If you could see my notes, the questions we didn't go over, there were so many things that we wanted to talk about that we didn't.
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