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This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast. I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Let's get into it.
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Jesus said to him, "If you can't believe, all things are possible to him who believes."
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Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe,
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help my unbelief." That is Mark 9 2324. Guys, I'm back. Well, okay, I'm like, I'm like
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sorta back. And so we'll get into that a little bit more in this episode. But yes, this is
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the first time since my first surgery that I'm recording a solo podcast and yes, I did
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say first surgery. Some of you likely didn't know that I had to have actually a second surgery
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on my vocal cords, but I'll get more into all that here in just a second. But right
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now I got a little bit of housekeeping before we get into what we're going to be talking
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about today. I will do my best to give you some good content today. I'm going to do my
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absolute level best, but I'm going to have to kind of temper myself a little bit, bridle
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myself a little bit. I have to take it easy. So I'm saying this as much to prepare you
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for what you're about to hear, but also to remind myself. So here goes nothing. So first
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of all, happy life month to everybody. Yes, this is life month. I mean, you may have heard
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the rumor that it's actually pride month, right? That we're celebrating things that
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could, you know, send you to hell. But this, I need to remind you, this month is the one
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year anniversary of Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey being overturned. Okay.
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So that's a very, very good thing. And so people may celebrate pride month. They may
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celebrate things are absolutely detestable and abominable to God, but we're going to
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be celebrating life. But also I wanted to give a quick thank you for all the messages
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and all the prayers that I've received since before my surgery after the first one in between
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the whole way. I'm getting phone calls and text messages and emails and DMS, some from
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people I know well, some perfect strangers even. And hearing people say, yeah, the entire
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prayer team in my church is getting after it in the spiritual realm for you. Or we know,
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when my family prayed around the dinner table tonight, we were, we were praying thinking
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about you. We prayed for you by name. I got those messages a lot. And so I'm the type
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of guy where I like hearing that, but then it's also kind of weird to me. It's like,
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I mean, you got, you got stuff going on. You got your own business. You got your own kids.
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You got things like, why are you worried about me? But it's just I'm so thankful and humbled
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by you all that you like the content so much. And you like what we bring to the table that
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you would pray for me in such a way. Also, I went to give a big thank you to our donors.
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So one of the things I told you guys way back, I forget what episode it was 190 or two 90
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or I can't remember is that we were going to go for it. And that we needed donors to
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step up in order to do that for us. And I promised we would continue to build and build
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and build and make more content and get even more stuff out there to you. And we've had
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to take a step back. So I worked my tail off to make sure that y'all had forging tables
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while I was recovering and interviews while I was recovering. And I wasn't expecting to
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have a second surgery. And so some of the interviews with Russell Burger and Jack Carr,
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you can tell that my voice is not great. And so I just appreciate your patience with that. But
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it's the donors. I know I don't send emails every time I used to email everybody back and say thank
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you. But I just want to give a big thank you to all our donors for helping sustain us in this time.
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Because as you can imagine, when we're releasing less episodes, that means we're getting less
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downloads. Less downloads means we're getting less looks by sponsors. And even with the people
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that we have now, we're getting less sponsorship dollars. And so when you donate and we've had a
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few guys come out of pocket and give some pretty sizable donations in the last six weeks,
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that is so huge for us. And so I just didn't want you guys to feel like we weren't going to
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acknowledge you or that we don't acknowledge you. We do acknowledge you. Also, one to remind you,
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as we get the show kind of ramped back up, and you know, we'll talk more about that,
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is make sure you're sharing this podcast with people. I'm going to get some momentum going again.
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But don't just share the podcast with somebody. Like imagine if you were to tell someone,
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I'm just trying to think I'll top my head, someone that's written a lot of books, maybe Stephen King
4:50
or Dean Coons or Tom Clancy. And you were to say, Hey, you need to listen to Tom Clancy.
4:56
Okay, like that's that's obviously a good thing for you to say. It's another thing for you to say,
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Hey, I read this particular Tom Clancy book and I think you would like it. And so don't just share
5:07
undaunted life of man's podcast with the guys in your life. If there's an individual episode or a
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forging table or an interview that you think a guy would really enjoy, dude, phones are so easy.
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Apple podcast and Spotify, they're so easy. You can just shoot it to him really quick.
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We would love for you to continue doing that. If you haven't left a review yet, wherever you're
5:24
listening to this, please do that as well. And you may have noticed as well, Kyle, that's different
5:30
podcasts, intro music. And it is, we're switching up our podcast intro music. We still love August
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Burns red. There's not any craziness going on there. But the song that we're using now is a song
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called Perpetua by that is by the band Holy Name. It's off their self title first album. And they're
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off of face down records. And this band their self described genre is preach core, which is
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pretty funny. But then also they described their sound as Holy drone violent worship. And if you
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know anything about me, you know, anything about the show, you know, we can dig that. So guys,
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that'll be in the show notes. You can check out that band. I want you to make sure that you support
6:05
them. And then also, as always, haven't been able to talk about origin in a while. But guys,
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origin is absolutely taking off. By the time you listen to this, they will have released their new
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line of workout clothing. So, you know, long sleeve and short sleeve workout tops, shorts,
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no gear shorts actually sent me a pair of no gear shorts to try before, you know, while they were
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doing the kind of the testing stage. And they're just perfect. I mean, I looked for high and low
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for great no, no g jiu jitsu shorts. And I bought someone else, he's kind of sucking and they just
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they nailed it. But then also, they've got the best jiu jitsu geese on the planet. They have jeans,
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they've got boots. And that's just on the origin side, they got hunting gear. And then also,
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we've got on the other side of things, we've got jocko fuel. So that's creatine protein,
6:52
other supplements, they've got new way cookies, right, that are like sugar free. They've got jocko
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go energy drinks, they've got a ton of stuff on that side. And guys, they have worked a lot with
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mean with undaunted life. So I want you to support them and their products don't suck. So if you go
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to origin main calm or origin USA dot com, both links are in the show notes, use the promo code
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undaunted and you'll get 10% off of your order on everything. So definitely go and check that out.
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you subscribe at prolon life dot com slash now. Now I would love to get into some quick hitters
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today. You should see the list on my phone of the stuff I wanted to talk about for like the last
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couple of months. And maybe we'll get there eventually. But we need to kind of bring you up to speed.
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I've gotten a lot of messages. Hey, Kyle, how you doing? I haven't heard from you and not
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everybody's on our mailing list. And so they haven't gotten the updates. So let me give you the full
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update here as to kind of what went down. So if you're completely new to the show long story short
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for the past 15 plus years or so, I've had vocal cord problems like very raspy voice very gravely
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voice. If I have to talk very much for very long, it becomes cumbersome for me to do so, which is
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not conducive to running a podcast, speaking live, that type of thing. And so when to my fifth opinion
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from a ear nose and throat doctor, and he showed me on video, I had a collapsed vocal cord. Okay,
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so I got after feed vocal cord. So I've been basically leaning on other parts of my voice and my throat
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to create sound for years and years and years and years. It got to a point where it wasn't
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sustainable, opted for surgery. The surgery is called a thyroplasty. So they cut you at the neck,
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and then they actually make they put a silicone implant inside of the vocal cord to plump it up
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so that your vocal cords will touch. So for most of you guys, if you're if you're watching
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this on YouTube or rumble, when you talk your vocal cords to do this, they kind of vibrate,
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but then they should close and touch. So mine originally was like that. So it was like one was
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strong and one was like super atrophy. And so when you do the implant, it's supposed to plump up
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like that. So I get the surgery, the, I mean, it sucks because they're cutting you on the neck.
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But and I'm recovering, it's kind of, you know, it's hard to sleep and all the stuff at any time
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that you're recovering from a serious surgery. But I go for my one week follow up appointment.
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And my doctor's like, dude, your voice sounds great for one weekend. I was like, Oh, this is
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awesome. And then I get to two weeks in, and my voice got even a little bit better. It was like,
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my voice quality was better, but it was like the the volume knob was stuck. So I just couldn't
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project. I was like, Oh man, by the time I hit three, four weeks, I'm gonna be great. But then my
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recovery just plateaued. My voice didn't get any better. If anything got a little bit worse,
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my ability to project didn't get better. If anything, it got a little bit worse. And so I was in
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communication with my surgeon. And by the four week mark, I went back in and saw him. And
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he was like visibly saddened by how I sounded. He's like, I don't know what's going on. This,
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this is not what should be happening right now, which is obviously disappointing to hear because
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so hopeful that this was going to work. And so he put me on a round of pretty intense medication
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is like, man, if there's an infection in there or some fluid, we need to get that out of there.
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But your options essentially are surgery again to replace the implant with a bigger one.
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Surgery to just remove the implant, which would put me back to where I was pre surgery at best.
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And the third is just to leave it and embrace that that was my new voice,
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which the third option was not really a good option. The second option certainly wasn't a good
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option. And so after some prayer and counsel and just generalized adult decision making,
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I decided to opt for a second surgery. Now here's the difference with the second surgery,
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with the first surgery, they put me to sleep, cut me open, you know, he's looking around. Okay.
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And then he's literally carving the silicone implant right there while I'm open, injects it into the
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vocal cord. And then does his best guess to make sure that this will close whenever he wakes up
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and talks. Well, what ended up happening is the anterior third. So again, if you're watching this
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on YouTube, look at the bottom, the base of my index fingers, the anterior third wasn't closing.
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So I was supposed to be getting this, and I was getting more like that, which improvement from
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where I was, but was not conducive for long term health of the voice. And so with a second surgery,
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what they were planning to do is cut me open, or you know, after they put me to sleep, but after
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they cut me open to wake me up, and then have me talk, and then put, you know, take the implant
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out, put a different implant in. Oh, that one's not quite so good. And I actually remember that.
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I actually remember that happening. The best way for me to describe it is, you know, my memory's
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foggy, but I remember understanding what the surgeon was telling me to do, but I couldn't do it.
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Like he's like, Hey, say this or say that, make this noise. And I was like, I like, I couldn't do it.
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It's like being in a dream where you need to run, and you can't, or scream or talk and you can't.
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That's kind of what it felt like. I understood what was happening, but I couldn't do anything about it.
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So, you know, he puts me back to sleep, so is me up. And as of the recording of this, I'm 13 days
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post surgery number two. So I'm inside my second recovery. The recovery has been a little easier
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than the first time, because with the first one, you know, they're cutting a bunch of stuff to make
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room for the implant and all that. Whereas with this one, they just popped one implant out and
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then stuck another one in there. So this implant is larger and longer. And we don't know yet because
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they're still swelling, but we should be getting complete closure of the vocal cord. The vocal
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cord should be touching. So in terms of what life looks like right now, and in the near future right
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now, it's just rest and recovery tomorrow, like I've been able to lift more than 10 pounds for
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the last two weeks, so I haven't even been able to like pick up and hug my boys. Certainly I've
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been able to exercise like I went for a walk. You know what I mean? That's all I've been able to do.
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So I'm like losing my mind. But starting tomorrow, I'm going to start working out again. With weights,
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it's going to be almost non-existent weight. Okay, I won't even really be doing pullups because I
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don't want to create any really tension in that area. But I'm going to be doing some air squats,
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some jogging, just some light stuff, some stretching, because you can't even really stretch during
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that time, because you know, the chance of opening up the incision site or moving the implant.
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But I'll be able to hug my boys. And you know, my wife has just been an absolute gangster
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the last two weeks, because she's basically had to solo parent, because I couldn't do anything,
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couldn't even like pick up our dog. Like we have like a little Maltese and a
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then giant Schnauzer couldn't even pick up the Maltese for the most part. But now what I'm doing
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is I'm in the process of trying to find a speech slash throat slash breathing coach,
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because apparently for my entire life, I've I've breathed wrong. And I've talked wrong,
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which sounds crazy, because breathing is subconscious and talking for the most part is subconscious.
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You know, but apparently the way I breathe is I breathe for my chest and my shoulders and my
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neck, right? You're supposed to breathe from your diaphragm, from your belly, like only a small
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percentage of people breathe correctly. So I bought, you know, some different, you know,
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breathing trainers. My big thing right now, my big struggle is what you need is a laryngeologist.
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So a laryngeologist, they basically focus only on the throat, only on the voice. But the state
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of Oklahoma has zero of those. And so as you could imagine, speech language pathologists in Oklahoma
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don't really have a focus on the throat and on speaking as much because they're not getting
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referrals directly from laryngeologists that that's all they do. So I have some leads on some different
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people because you don't want just a speech language pathologist because they're just basically looking
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at it from a medical standpoint, not a performance standpoint. And you don't just want a classically
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trained, you know, singing coach, because they may not know what's going on on the medical side,
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you kind of need a combo of both. And so again, has some leads there. But that's kind of the
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next step is and it's weird because it's like breathing and speaking is subconscious. But what
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this coach is going to have to do is bring it out of the realm of subconscious into the conscious,
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fix it, train it, and then make it to where I can just put it back into the subconscious.
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Because it's one thing, you know, if you're fixing Gracie and you sit down on a beach and you have
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some, you know, just light music playing and you can just, you know, focus on your breath,
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you can probably die from adequately breathe. It's different when I'm recording a podcast,
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or doing an interview, or speaking live, I'm just I'm trying to use my brain and my calories that
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I'm burning to the content. I'm not focused on how I'm breathing. So essentially, I'm in the
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long haul process of building a new voice. What you're hearing right now is hopefully the
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worst that you're going to hear in terms of what my voice looks like, or sounds like rather,
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but that's the process that I'm on. Now, in terms of the show, for now, we're going to stick with
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two episodes per week, which again, I'm sorry, I want to do more, but we're just going to stick
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with the two episodes per week until I feel comfortable doing something different. You will
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get a forging table every Sunday. And the an interview will be on Tuesdays, and that's likely
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going to be the format. I might pop in here and there to do an additional episode. I might not do
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an interview one week and do kind of a short episode with you. But again, I really have to take it
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easy. Like even right now, like I want to get excited. I want to go crazy. I have to be calm about
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it. I'm really chomping at the bit to get back to doing solo episodes, to doing quick hitters, to
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giving you guys the content that you've grown to love. And so I would just ask you to be patient
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with me as I'm doing that. But I do, as we move through here, I do want to give you some thoughts.
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So some healthy and then some not so healthy thoughts that I've had during this this process.
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So pre surgery, number one, you know, a big thought that came in my mind is, you know, man,
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I hope this works. Because, you know, I've had a thumb reconstruction from a jujitsu injury,
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and it's like, crap, you know, I really hope this works. I need this thumb. You know, I need it to
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do everything, opposable thumbs or what separates us from the monkeys, you know, that kind of thought
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process. And luckily, it worked out great. But man, it was kind of shady there for a little bit,
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wasn't sure. But that was what I was really hoping for. But then another thought that I shared on the
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show is, what if I lose my voice forever? Again, this is pre surgery number one, that is a potential
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outcome of that surgery. It's not a high likelihood. But I could have lost complete voice
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function to where I could only speak at a whisper for the rest of my life. And luckily, it didn't
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work out that way. But you know, that was a pre surgery thought. And also a thought that came up,
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which is why today's episode is named what it's named, is what if God doesn't heal me?
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I was I was like haunted by the apostle Paul talking about his ailment
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and how God didn't deliver him from that. And it obviously hampered him, but he was still was able
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to do in ministry what God set out for him to do. But for me, I was like, well, but I feel like
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God put me on this plan to do is to equipment to push back darkness. That's gonna be really hard
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to do if I can't talk, or talk how I want or how often I want, or at the speed and, you know,
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force that I want to do it with. But it's like, well, crap, what if God doesn't heal me?
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But now let's go to post surgery. So this is post first surgery. Well, my first thoughts is
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while I'm alive. So that's good. I mean, because anytime you get artificially put to sleep,
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there's a chance you won't wake up. So it's like, great, I'm alive. And then I guess another
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thought was, man, my throat really hurts. I mean, I had a gigantic gash on my throat. And so it's
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like that that's a new feeling. I've had neck pain before. I've had a sore throat, but I've never had
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that. And then after the first surgery around the three week recovery point, the thought obviously
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came into my mind. And why is why is my voice not getting any better? Did I do something wrong?
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Like, did I did I move too much too too quickly? Like, I'm like the best patient. If a doctor tells
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me don't do this for this amount of time, I'm not going to I'm gonna add a week to it. I'm very
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conservative in my recovery. But it's like, man, what's what's going on? And around that time,
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I had another thought, which was, you know, was this a huge mistake? Is this the biggest mistake I've
20:39
ever made? Could I have kept my voice going for the next several decades, you know, with tea and
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honey and lozenges and cold water, you know, room temperature, what could I could I've done
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something different that I make a mistake here? And those are hard places to get to. It's good
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to reflect, but it's still hard to think about. And then after I decided to do surgery,
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again, the second surgery, pre second surgery, another thought was, you know, what in the world
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should I do? Should I should I fall through with this? I guess? And as I just said, I did.
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And then I had the thought, you know, what if I lose my voice forever? I thought that again,
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because that's on the table again now, because I'm having surgery again. But again, the
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the thought came to mind, what if God doesn't heal me again? Like, what if he doesn't heal me?
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Like, all right, we did it the first time everybody prayed and we believed and, you know,
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we had faith and all that and it just didn't quite work out. And what if we do it again,
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and we're right back where we are. So I have a gigantic scar on my neck and nothing to show for
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it. And then we have the second surgery, which is where we're at now. I come out of the second
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surgery, you know, first thought, well, I'm alive. So that's good. My throat hurts, but not as much
21:53
as before, because again, they're just kind of popping the old implant out and put the new one in.
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And then I'm just desperate with please work, please, please, please work.
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And then I was, I was just haunted again with what if God doesn't heal me.
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And that's where I'm sitting right now. And in all those thoughts, guys,
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pre, first surgery, post, first surgery, the in between second surgery, post, second surgery,
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there were three big questions that came to mind.
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And I'm going to describe them briefly, because I can't talk very much for very long. But I'm
22:27
describing these and just kind of put you guys in the right place, right frame of mind as we move
22:33
through this is I don't want you guys to get the wrong idea about me. I tell people all the time,
22:39
please don't worship at the altar of undaunted life. Please don't make a man's podcast,
22:43
your substitute for the Bible. Please don't look at, you know, Kyle Thompson as if he's
22:49
figured it out and he's got it going on. I want to be honest with you guys. When I fall, when I
22:53
sin, when I have problems, when I have doubts, and so I'm to a degree, I'm going to do that now.
22:58
But it really, throughout this entire process, as I was preparing my comments for today,
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three big questions came to mind. First one is does prayer work? And I'll use, you know, air quotes
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around the word work, does it work? Because again, I didn't grow up in a Christian home.
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Prayer was not part of my life. Prayer for the most part has been a struggle
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throughout my Christian walk. When I communicate, I usually try to communicate praise. But when
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these people have like, you know, prayer closets in their house or they have, you know,
23:30
specified prayer time and, you know, it's just it's always been an odd thing to me.
23:35
Because, you know, I certainly am not Catholics. I don't think you have to go talk to a guy in a box,
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you know, and have him be an intercessory between you and God. I think we can just sit here,
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you can sit there in your car at the gym or at home wherever you listen to this right now and
23:47
you can talk to God right now. But in terms of prayer working, it's always bothered me.
23:53
I think I asked Joby Martin this in the second interview, we did second or third interview,
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but it's like Christians always seem to have a cop out again thinking like a non-Christian when
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I was a non-Christian, but then also thinking this way after I became a Christian is let's use an
24:10
easy example. So 45 year old gets colon cancer and it's tragic because he's got two kids and
24:17
you know, he's got a wife and, you know, his wife stays home and he works in Baba, you know,
24:21
it's one of those situations. And he gets a lot of prayer. Everyone that knows this guy is praying
24:27
for him, or at least they say they are. They do a prayer meeting a church. They put him in,
24:33
you know, at the altar and they lay hands on him, right? And they're praying for healing.
24:36
Okay. If he's miraculously cancer free at his next checkup, we can say, look what God did.
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God nailed it. We asked him for healing and he gave it to us. Praise God.
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But if he dies of cancer, Christians would always be like, well, I guess that just wasn't God's will.
24:57
And that always struck me as so disingenuous. Like I was like, what? It's like, and so I've
25:04
always struggled with this idea of prayer working. I've prayed for this situation with my voice,
25:09
my family has. And again, like I told you from the beginning, who knows how many hundreds or
25:14
thousands of people were praying for little old me and my voice. But it's like, man, just prayer
25:19
worker. Does God just do whatever he's going to do? Is he just going to do what he wants to? Okay.
25:26
So just being honest there. Second question that came up for me with all this is, what if God
25:33
doesn't heal me ever? Because as I told you, I thought what if God doesn't heal me throughout
25:40
this process? But it was like, what if God doesn't heal me ever? What does that do? What do I do?
25:45
Because you know, I like to eat food, live indoors and provide that same luxury for my family.
25:49
So I can't just sit here and not produce. I hate writing, but does, but I'm good at it. So do I
25:56
just become a writer? Is that how I'm done to life continues? I had a, you know, a few Jackwagons
26:02
come out of the woodwork. Some of them strangers and some of them people I barely knew that offered
26:07
a takeover of my show for me. And I was just like, what? Yeah, sure. Let me just hand over
26:14
the reins of my show to you so that you can build your own clout. I just I couldn't believe it that
26:20
that people would be so ballsy to even even offer that, especially since I didn't, you know,
26:26
assume that their motives were pure. And it but you're just stuck like, okay, do I need to,
26:31
okay, I guess I'll go be a cop. Well, crap cops need to talk. Okay, I can't do that. Maybe I'm
26:35
gonna be a firefighter. Well, I'm 36. So I'm basically ancient. They're hiring 20 year olds,
26:39
you know, maybe I can be a UPS driver. Like you just, you're going through these scenarios of
26:44
what if God doesn't heal me ever? What do we do? Gosh, and that's a scary question. That's a,
26:48
that's a question that you're, you're staring into the abyss. And some of you guys are there
26:52
right now. That's not the point of the podcast today. But maybe you're sitting there in your
26:56
cubicle. Listen to this or you're driving to or from the job that you hate where you feel stuck.
27:01
You're like, what am I supposed to do? I got what am I doing here? And or maybe you're where you
27:07
thought you were supposed to be? And the job you thought you wanted in the place that you thought
27:12
you wanted to be, making the money you thought that would make you whole and something still
27:15
missing. And now you're looking into the abyss thinking, what do I do? So what if God doesn't
27:22
heal me ever? That certainly came to mind. And last question is, do I actually believe
27:28
that God will heal me? That he will heal me? Because I certainly believe that God can
27:38
heal me, but will he? Because some Christians are like, Oh, you're a Christian, life's going to be
27:44
easy and you're going to be rich. Again, if you even do a cursory scanning of scripture,
27:50
we don't get that narrative. But there are plenty of people that are like, Oh, just just pray,
27:54
just pray and ask him, and he'll heal you. And again, I go back to that cancer example that I use.
28:00
What if it doesn't happen that way? Do we just say, you know, God's sovereign? So deal with it?
28:07
Because that's actually the answer. But how do we
28:12
put that into into action in our lives right now? And that was a gut check for me. I had several
28:19
of those conversations where it's like, Hey, Kyle, do you actually believe this stuff? So
28:26
again, I mentioned Joby more and I've actually mentioned him on the show a lot. So he comes up
28:30
all the time. But he told me this privately, and then he he didn't use my name, but he talked about
28:35
it on one of his shows to where it's like, Hey, you're the first one to call out pastors when
28:39
they do something that's non biblical. But then you're not believing what the Bible says about
28:44
having faith to be healed. And it's like, shut up, Joby. Nobody asked you your opinion, except I did.
28:51
So that's my fault. But man, I struggle with that. And it's like, I'm fine putting my faith
28:58
in the fact that a 30 some year old Middle Eastern Jewish construction worker lived and died and
29:04
was sent here by God on a rescue mission to save us from eternal damnation. I believe that he rose
29:10
again. Absolutely. I believe it. I think the evidence is there for it. But do I believe he's
29:15
going to heal my throat? I struggle. Again, I believe I can. I believe that he can. But will he?
29:22
And as we sit here again, two weeks post surgery number two, I'm still struggling with that.
29:26
And during that, again, just kind of laying myself out there to you guys, two bits of Scripture
29:33
kept coming to mind during this process. So the first is a story of Shadrach, Meshach,
29:39
and Abednego that we see this in Daniel three. So most of you've heard this. But if not,
29:44
I'll give you the Spark notes version. But King Nebuchadnezzar, he created this enormous image of
29:49
himself in gold, this big idol. And he demanded and commanded that everyone come and bow in worship
29:57
to this idol at threat of being thrown into a fiery furnace and killed. Okay. And everyone did
30:03
this. They came from all over place to do this, except for three rebels. Shadrach, Meshach, and
30:09
Abednego, who refused to bow to this gold, not a idol. And then they were brought before King Nebuchadnezzar.
30:15
And we see this interaction as described starting in Daniel three verse 15. So this is King Nebuchadnezzar
30:21
talking. But if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into the burning fiery furnace.
30:27
And who is the God who will deliver you out of my hands? Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered
30:33
and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so,
30:40
our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace. But he will deliver us
30:46
and he will deliver us out of your hand, O King. But if not, be it known to you, O King, that we will
30:54
not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up. And you know, as the story goes,
31:02
they were thrown into the fiery furnace, but they were not killed. They were even harmed. God
31:05
protected and delivered them. You know, there's there's more there. Go to Daniel three to read that.
31:09
But again, when you get to that story and the significance of that historical happening to me
31:16
is that these three rebels, these sticks in the mud, you know, these curmudges, these people,
31:22
these, you know, just they're unbendable. They're just like, yeah, God can. But even if he doesn't,
31:30
we're not going to bow to you. Why? Because you're not God. At best, you can kill our bodies,
31:40
but you cannot extinguish our souls. And so in my context, my selfish, you know, self-serving,
31:46
self-centered context, it's like God can heal my voice. But if he doesn't, I better praise him
31:53
all the same or else I've been a fool this entire time. I've been, I've been
32:00
a coward this entire time. I've been illegitimate this entire time. I've been a fake and imposter
32:07
this entire time to demand that you have faith when I have none myself, which is why I'm being so
32:14
honest with you right now. And just so you guys know, like I'm not talking slowly to increase the
32:19
dramatics of the situation. This is just all I got. I'm just talking. But do I have, you know,
32:25
the gut check for me is do I have the faith, the same faith of a Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego?
32:30
Man, that's been a roller coaster for sure, which leads to the second bit of scripture
32:38
that we'll, we'll close out with today, which is Jesus healing the boy with an unclean spirit. So
32:43
we see this in Mark nine and I'll start reading in verse 14. And when they came to the disciples,
32:49
they saw a great crowd around them and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd,
32:55
when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them,
33:00
this is Jesus talking. What are you arguing about with them? And someone from the crowd answered him,
33:05
teacher, I brought my son to you for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it
33:11
sees us him, it throws him down and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked
33:17
your disciples to cast it out and they were not able. And he answered them, oh, faithless generation,
33:23
how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me. And they brought
33:30
the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on
33:35
the ground and rolled about foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, how long has it been,
33:41
has this been happening to him? And he said from childhood, and it has often cast him into fire and
33:48
into water to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.
33:55
And Jesus said to him, if you can, all things are possible for the one who believes.
34:03
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, I believe, help my unbelief. And when Jesus
34:10
saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit saying to it, you mute and
34:16
deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again. And after crying out and
34:23
convulsing him terribly, it came out. And the boy was like a corpse. So that most of him said,
34:29
most of them said, he is dead. But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up and he arose.
34:35
And when he had entered the house, the disciples asked him privately,
34:38
why could we not cast it out? And he said to them, this kind cannot be driven out by anything but
34:45
prayer. So ever since I first heard this passage, I've struggled with it. Because the sentence
34:54
that this father utters, I, you know, I believe help my unbelief makes no sense. If you were to
35:00
write that sentence in your five paragraph essay in 10th grade pre-ap English, your teacher would
35:07
strike that sentence and be like, this sentence is nonsense. Like, please write something better.
35:11
You know what I mean? So I've always struggled with this passage. And I've heard, I don't know,
35:17
a dozen different pastors, maybe more explain this passage. But as I was preparing for this
35:23
interview, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go read through all my commentaries and figure out
35:27
what this passage is all about. And I did. And all the commentaries pretty much said the same thing.
35:34
Yeah, faith is imperfect. And it's never consistent. And it goes up and down. It depends on
35:41
circumstances. And that was it. I mean, I read all my commentaries. I'm looking at them. I read,
35:45
you know, the Reformation study Bible, ESP study Bible, Moody commentary, John MacArthur commentary,
35:52
the new crossway ESV men's study Bible, which is fantastic. It's going to be coming out next
35:56
month, read through all of them. And they all said the same thing, just moved on. And I totally
36:03
get what this father is saying. I believe that Jesus can heal me. He thought Jesus could heal his
36:11
son, but there was still that unbelief. It's like, okay, you're about to trust fall. But at the same
36:18
time, you think, am I about to be on TikTok of my friends, you know, letting me fall because they
36:23
think it'll be funny. There, there's that little bit of doubt for most you guys, you know, asking
36:28
that gal to marry you. You may have had 99.9% certainty she was going to say yes, but there was that
36:34
little bit of doubt that you're going to end up on the jumbo Tron and then end up on TikTok by being
36:39
left there with on one knee with a ring in your hand and nothing much else to show for it.
36:45
So I get what the father's saying, and I struggle to believe. Again, I know what you should believe,
36:52
but I struggle to believe that my personal faith and prayer has anything to do with what God is
36:57
ultimately going to do. Perhaps that's the influence of, um, perform theology on me, you know, God's
37:03
sovereign. So what do I need to do? Whereas most people would just say, well, the Bible still says
37:07
to pray and ask. So you can't just, you can't just do nothing. Like, if you're going to take some of
37:13
the Bible's commands seriously, you need to take them all seriously. And so that's where I'm at
37:20
right now. I'm spending a lot of time thinking about what went on in Daniel three and a lot of
37:24
time thinking about what went on in Mark nine. And I know that we all have this tendency to make
37:31
the Bible about us. I don't think Daniel three is about me. I don't think Mark nine is about me,
37:36
but it's applicable to me in this moment. And so I'm in this moment to where if Jesus
37:43
were walking the earth right now and I were to look at him eye to eye and he told me basically,
37:51
you know, if you can, all things are possible for the one who believes what I'd be able to
37:57
honestly say, I believe in hit a period, not I believe comma help my unbelief.
38:02
And so that's what I'm working on. Again, I don't want you guys to think that I'm a,
38:08
a finished work. I am a work in progress. And I want to make sure, and I think this is important,
38:13
perhaps this just came to me. Maybe this is the most important thing that you need to hear today.
38:16
If you're still listening this far in, I need to praise him and have faith, even if he doesn't.
38:24
Because I know there are some people out there right now that are on a faith journey,
38:29
as you could call it, and they're waiting for things to go their way as a signal
38:34
to them that God's real, but God's not a cosmic genie.
38:39
Even if doors are opening for you and you think, Oh, you know, this feels like a God thing.
38:44
If somebody's on a faith journey and they're basing positive things happening in their life,
38:51
and, and those being the things that they're going to lean on for the fact that Jesus really
38:56
died and that they should live by faith and put their faith in him, that's, that's treading some
39:02
dangerous water, some really, really dangerous water. And so for those of you out there,
39:09
I want you to rest in the knowledge that what's described in the gospels actually happened.
39:14
And that every single worldview has answered the same four questions, origin, meaning, morality,
39:21
destiny, origin, where does everything come from? Meaning, why are we all here?
39:26
Morality. What's the difference between good and evil destiny? Where do we go when we die? And I
39:32
think that's what described, what is described in the Bible gives us the best answers to those
39:37
questions and how we do life. And I believe it's true. More than truth is true. It's super
39:44
capital T true. So if we work off that as our baseline, we also have to read the other parts
39:52
of the Bible that don't seem to fit with our current circumstances, because it's easy to do
39:57
those things when it's not going to bother you or when you're not in pain. But when you're in
40:01
pain and you're confused, those are the moments when you need to cleave to Jesus and his promises
40:07
even closer. And we should try to model after Shadrach to be shacking to Ben to go to where
40:13
even if God doesn't do the thing that we think he should do, he still loves us. He's still for us,
40:21
even though not everything in God's world is about us. And that's in that instance,
40:25
he still loves us. He's still for us. And he still has our best interests at heart,
40:31
whether we agree with it or not, whether we understand it or not. Guys, I really appreciate
40:36
you hanging with me this long voice is about to go. So I'm going to go right to the quick resilience
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boost. Adam Dontalife, our mission is equipping men to push back darkness with content that
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donation page. Again, guys, we can't produce the content that we're producing without you.
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If we have to make some serious adjustments to how we provide content for the future,
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that we're going to need cash to do that. That's the only way about it. Okay, I can't put hopes and
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dreams inside a bank account in order to do the stuff that we're going to do to make the pivots
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we might need. We need donors like you. We need guys hopping in on a monthly basis saying, you know
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what, this is making a big difference, not just to me, but to men around the globe. Let's make
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sure we put our money with our where our mouth is and let's support this. So that's what I would
41:36
ask of you guys. Thank you guys for listening to this episode. Wherever you listening to this,
41:40
please subscribe, rate and leave us a positive five star review. If you want to come speak live
41:44
at your event or on your podcast, you shoot me an email to info@undontin.life. That's i-n-f-o
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@undontin.life. Follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook and check out our website for
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everything else, including how to donate to keep more content like this coming your way.
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Just go to www.undontin.life. Also, we want to thank the band Holy Name for allowing us to use
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their music for our content. The music on this podcast is our song Perpetua, which is off their
42:07
self-titled debut album on Face Down Records. The links are in the description.
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I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep pushing back darkness, keep forging spiritual,
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mental and physical resilience, keep seeking the lion of Judah.
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