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0:30
Welcome to day seven of how to build
0:32
a godly and manly foxhole.
0:34
I'm your host Kyle Thompson of Undaunted Life.
0:36
Let's get into it.
0:37
All right guys, let's go over a quick recap
0:39
of all the six days that we've done so far
0:41
leading up to today.
0:43
On the first day, we looked at the question,
0:44
what makes a godly man?
0:46
The second day, what makes a manly man?
0:48
Third day, can you be both godly and manly?
0:50
Fourth day was Jesus a manly man.
0:52
Fifth day, what is a foxhole?
0:54
And then yesterday, the sixth day,
0:55
why does a man need a foxhole?
0:57
So quick recap.
0:58
In day one, what makes a godly man?
0:59
We looked at two things.
1:01
One, the truth outside the self.
1:02
So that's a narrative of humanity that we're all living in.
1:05
And then second, the truth displayed publicly.
1:07
And this answers the question, you know,
1:08
what makes a godly man?
1:09
And we listed those characteristics
1:11
that we got from the Bible.
1:12
And on the second day,
1:13
we looked at what makes a manly man?
1:15
Add Undaunted Life.
1:16
We have a definition of what a man is.
1:17
And it's this, a man is a male that cultivates
1:20
spiritual, mental, and physical resilience daily.
1:23
We looked at the life of now deceased Navy Seal Adam Brown
1:26
and also Paul specifically his second letter
1:28
to his pupil Timothy.
1:29
Then on day three, we looked at can you be both godly
1:32
and manly?
1:33
And of course, we said, yes, you can be that.
1:35
Adam Brown is a great example of that.
1:37
Nehemiah is a great example of that.
1:38
We spent a lot of time on those guys.
1:40
In day four, we said, was Jesus a manly man?
1:42
We looked at that question.
1:43
And obviously Jesus is a godly man because he's God.
1:47
Jesus is manly because he's the perfect man.
1:49
He is a perfect man, perfectly manly in every way.
1:53
And Jesus specifically cultivated spiritual,
1:55
mental, and physical resilience on a daily basis.
1:57
We looked at the stories of him turning over the tables
1:59
of the temple, his 40 days of temptation in the desert
2:02
and so on and so forth.
2:03
And then on day five, we looked at what is a foxhole?
2:06
So a foxhole is a group of men that constantly push each other
2:09
to cultivate spiritual, mental, and physical resilience daily.
2:12
That is the definition of a foxhole.
2:14
And we talked about how Jesus had a foxhole.
2:16
And those were his 12 apostles.
2:18
And then yesterday on day six, we looked at,
2:19
why do men need a foxhole?
2:22
Specifically, Jesus had one.
2:23
So that's a great reason to have one.
2:25
And we weren't built to do battle alone.
2:27
That was the main contention of yesterday, you're not built
2:30
to go through life alone in isolation.
2:32
We also looked at the story and Mark of the men helping
2:34
the paralytic.
2:35
And we talked about the failings.
2:37
It was a great day yesterday.
2:38
But guys, if you have not caught up to today,
2:40
make sure you go back and listen to days one through six
2:42
before you take in today's lesson.
2:44
Now today we're going over one of, if not,
2:47
the most common questions that I get asked.
2:50
And that is, how do I build slash maintain my foxhole?
2:55
How do I do that?
2:57
So we're going to get really granular in this episode, okay?
3:00
There's not a whole lot of theory in this episode.
3:02
This is ground level stuff.
3:03
We're not hanging out at 30,000 feet today.
3:05
We're going all the way down to ground level.
3:07
So this is your heading for today.
3:09
I'm going to put you in the right headspace.
3:11
The big key is this.
3:14
If you don't already have a foxhole,
3:18
be the one that starts it.
3:20
Let me repeat that.
3:22
If you don't already have a foxhole,
3:25
be the one that starts it.
3:27
Most guys are just looking around like,
3:29
oh man, this whole concept of a foxhole seems really cool.
3:32
I wish I had one.
3:33
Gosh darn it.
3:34
I'm looking around and I just don't see anybody.
3:36
You're the one.
3:37
If you're looking around for the guy to start it,
3:39
stop looking for that guy.
3:40
You're the guy.
3:41
You are the guy.
3:42
My foxhole started 13 years ago,
3:44
well before I even met these people.
3:46
'Cause one guy just said,
3:47
hey, I think I'd like to get some guys together
3:49
to do some jujitsu on a Sunday night.
3:51
Maybe we can start reading some books together.
3:53
And then here we are 13, 14 years later
3:55
and we're still developing each other.
3:57
We're helping each other forge this spiritual,
4:00
mental and physical resilience
4:01
where this tight-knit group of brothers,
4:03
you know what I mean?
4:04
And if you don't already have a foxhole,
4:06
put yourself in the mindset
4:08
before you listen to the rest of this devotional today
4:10
that you are going to be the one that gets it going, okay?
4:13
But before we get into the specifics,
4:15
I'm gonna take a quick aside for any ladies out there
4:18
that are listening to this devotional here, okay?
4:21
You all have a very, very specific role to play here
4:26
because when you encourage your men to do things like this,
4:31
you are the wind beneath their wings, baby.
4:34
If they see you being supportive
4:37
of them trying to cultivate a foxhole,
4:40
trying to get men around them
4:41
that are gonna do life with them
4:43
that will end up bettering not only his life
4:45
but your life and the life of your family,
4:47
don't be the anchor, be the wind,
4:50
be the one that lifts them up,
4:51
be the one that encourages them.
4:52
Now, there is a line, there is a definitive line,
4:55
like if they're gone every single night hanging out
4:57
with their foxhole or whatever they're saying,
4:59
that's an issue, they have some responsibilities at home,
5:01
they have some responsibilities to you,
5:03
they should be taking you on dates,
5:04
they should be hanging out with the kids,
5:05
all those things are true.
5:06
But do not be that gal, that's like, oh my gosh,
5:11
are you going to hang out with your friends again?
5:14
You hung out with them last month.
5:16
Don't be that person, okay?
5:19
Encourage this.
5:21
I promise you, you should see some of the emails
5:23
that I get from women.
5:25
When their men start listening to our podcast
5:27
or they've read some of our content
5:29
or they've built their own foxhole,
5:30
they're just like, I don't know what you said to him
5:33
but he's been awesome, right?
5:35
He was like this ball of nervous energy and stress
5:38
and then all of a sudden he started hanging out
5:40
with these guys and kind of letting loose every week
5:43
and stuff like that and he's just gotten so much better.
5:45
It's been so much more pleasant being around him.
5:48
The thing is is when I read those emails,
5:49
I'm not surprised in the least bit.
5:51
I mean, I'm excited, I'm fully aware that that's true
5:55
and that's how this all happens
5:56
but you just have to be there to support him
5:58
because this is going to be great for everybody.
6:00
So I'll come back to the main point today
6:03
but let's go ahead and dive in
6:04
to how to build and maintain your foxhole.
6:08
So there is a three step guide I'm going to give you
6:10
for how to build this and maintain it.
6:13
Step one, identify.
6:16
Step two, refine and step three, maintain.
6:21
Identify, refine, maintain.
6:23
So let's talk about step one, identify.
6:26
You need to identify potential foxhole guys in your life.
6:30
So I'm going to give you seven different things
6:32
that you should be looking for in a foxhole guy.
6:35
If they don't really check these seven boxes,
6:38
they're not going to be a foxhole guy for you.
6:39
So the first thing is it's a guy that you see often.
6:42
Now this might seem a little elementary
6:45
and it's meant to be because the thing is
6:47
if you're not seeing this guy often,
6:50
that can't be a guy that's in your foxhole, okay?
6:53
So a lot of guys will think of, you know,
6:54
they're frat guys that they used to hang out with
6:56
back in the day in college, maybe 10, 20 years ago.
6:58
Some people are going to think about the old
7:00
intramural softball team.
7:01
Maybe it's the fantasy football league,
7:02
something like that.
7:03
If you're not seeing these guys on a weekly basis minimum,
7:07
this can't be a foxhole guy
7:09
because the reason is so unbelievably clear
7:11
because guess what?
7:12
If this person used to be one of your best friends,
7:14
maybe in high school or something like that,
7:15
but you don't really see them that often,
7:17
maybe once a year, maybe once every couple of years,
7:19
that person is not consequential to you.
7:21
That they're not going to notice things in your life
7:24
because they're not around you.
7:25
They're not going to notice, man,
7:26
he's got a little chip on his shoulder right now.
7:28
I wonder where that's coming from.
7:29
Maybe I should, you know, pull him aside
7:31
and we should have a chat about that.
7:32
You're not even going to know to look for those things
7:34
because you don't see him enough.
7:35
So a guy you see often, number two,
7:38
a guy that is available, a guy that is available.
7:42
Again, this kind of goes back to the concept
7:44
of a 6 p.m. friend versus a 3 a.m. friend.
7:46
If you're constantly reaching out to a guy
7:48
and he's just not available, you know,
7:50
"Hey, man, let's go hang out."
7:51
Oh yeah, I would, but I got this thing,
7:53
I got a buh, buh, buh, buh."
7:54
And then you just keep hearing that excuse
7:56
from this type of a guy.
7:58
Imagine his availability when you really need him
8:01
because you've asked him to hang out five, six times
8:04
and most guys aren't gluttons for punishment,
8:06
so you're not just going to keep, you know,
8:07
pursuing someone like that.
8:08
But if the guy's just always unavailable,
8:10
that's not a foxhole guy.
8:11
Number three, a guy that you've watched
8:14
make improvements in their life.
8:16
Because most of them in that you know,
8:18
and 'cause, you know, for some of you,
8:19
you may have had friends or at least acquaintances
8:21
for decades or more.
8:23
If they're the same type of guy now
8:26
that they were when you met them,
8:27
that should be a red flag for you, that's a problem.
8:29
Because we should all be able to look back
8:31
on who we were five years ago and be a little bit embarrassed.
8:34
Like, I certainly do.
8:35
I certainly look on who I was five years ago
8:38
and think, "Man, you thought that?"
8:40
Man, you thought that that was a good idea.
8:41
You thought that shirt looked cool.
8:43
Like, you should constantly be striving for improvements.
8:46
So these guys that are in your foxhole,
8:48
you should see them improve and mature over time.
8:51
That's a prerequisite for being a foxhole guy.
8:54
The fourth thing, a guy that seems to always be striving.
8:59
Always be striving, okay?
9:01
Now, the important thing about this
9:03
is this isn't just striving for ridiculous goals,
9:05
but maybe this is a guy that's really good at working out.
9:08
Maybe he's really into being in shape.
9:09
And maybe he's trying to get to a certain thing physically
9:13
or maybe he's trying to attain a certain goal
9:15
or finish a race or something like that, but he's striving.
9:17
Maybe it's a guy that used to read
9:19
just a bunch of fiction books 'cause they were easy for him
9:20
and now he's kind of digging into philosophy books.
9:22
It's one of those deals.
9:23
Maybe this was a guy that didn't really
9:25
want to volunteer a church and now all of a sudden
9:26
he's getting in there, he's getting his hands dirty,
9:28
he's trying to help out, they're striving.
9:31
There are way too many guys that are content
9:33
with sitting around doing nothing.
9:36
They worship at the altar, a fancy football,
9:39
and major league baseball scores
9:42
or whatever's going on in TikTok,
9:44
they just want to relax.
9:45
That's their entire life.
9:47
They just want to chill.
9:48
They want to get to a certain place
9:50
and they want to sit in the lawn chair with a beer
9:51
and just do nothing.
9:53
And guys, there are good times to do that,
9:55
but you shouldn't be doing that 24/7, 365.
9:58
You should be surrounding yourself with guys
10:00
that are striving.
10:02
The fifth thing is a guy that quickly identifies mistakes
10:05
he has made and moves to remedy them.
10:08
Okay, so for any of you guys that have a pride issue,
10:11
which is a lot of you guys,
10:13
sometimes you'll identify that you've made a mistake
10:15
but you'll hold on to it
10:17
'cause you just don't want to say you're sorry.
10:19
And I am certainly one of those guys.
10:20
I don't like saying I'm sorry,
10:22
but one thing that I've gotten a whole lot better at
10:25
over the last several years is identifying more quickly,
10:28
the mistake that I've made and remedying it super quickly.
10:32
So a quick example, we were doing this thing basically
10:34
at my foxhole, every time someone has a birthday,
10:36
basically we do something called Bull in the Ring.
10:38
And so you essentially go, this is, you know,
10:40
at a jujitsu school, you have to go one minute
10:43
with everybody that's in the room
10:45
and they just bring the next guy out.
10:46
So once that 60 second timer goes off,
10:48
the next guy comes in and you're in a bad spot
10:50
and you're just, you're trying to go
10:51
and you're trying to get after it
10:52
and you're just trying to survive
10:53
if you're the one that has a birthday.
10:54
So this is how we celebrate our birthdays.
10:56
But there was one night where we had this guy
10:58
who was very, very green.
11:00
He did not have much jujitsu under his belt.
11:03
He essentially had none, wasn't a tremendous athlete.
11:05
And I went in there for my round with this person.
11:08
And my mindset was, okay, I'm gonna go as hard as I can
11:11
for this one minute because we're making him better
11:12
and blah, blah and all that.
11:13
And so I go in there, I'm much bigger than this person.
11:16
I'm much more adept and experienced at jujitsu
11:18
than this person.
11:19
And I embarrassed this guy.
11:21
And I was really, really rough with him
11:23
and I thought I was doing the right thing.
11:25
And I got up and the next guy came in
11:27
and one of my foxhole guys pulled me to the side immediately.
11:30
Right after the Bull in the Ring was done
11:31
and we shook hands and everybody was, you know,
11:33
moving on to the next thing.
11:34
And he's like, hey, man, that was rough.
11:37
I don't know if you notice, but, you know,
11:39
he didn't seem to really being enjoying that.
11:40
And, you know, again, it's Bull in the Ring.
11:42
So it's not the most enjoyable thing ever,
11:43
but it's like, I think you really kind of heard him
11:46
a little bit like that wasn't,
11:47
that wasn't a good thing for you to do.
11:49
And instead of just being like,
11:50
well, man, you don't know what you're talking about
11:52
and I've done jujitsu longer than you.
11:53
And you don't even understand.
11:54
I just said, you know what, man?
11:56
You're right.
11:56
You are absolutely right.
11:58
I went way too hard.
11:59
You know, I got caught up in the moment.
12:01
I thought that this was what we were supposed to be doing.
12:03
And then I immediately went to that guy and I apologized.
12:06
And then before we left that night, I apologized again.
12:09
So quickly identified the mistake.
12:11
I actually had a foxhole guy pointed out to me.
12:14
I recognized the issue and I moved to remedy it quickly.
12:18
If you have guys that just hold on to things
12:20
they never wanted to admit they're wrong.
12:22
You don't want that guy in your foxhole.
12:24
The sixth thing is a guy that doesn't mind confronting you
12:27
or others, right?
12:28
Isn't that just attached to what I just said?
12:30
This guy confronted me immediately.
12:32
But for a lot of guys, we're terrified
12:35
of making other guys in our life angry.
12:38
We're terrified of pushing chips into the center of the table
12:41
and risking some relational equity with somebody
12:44
to maybe tell them that what they're doing isn't appropriate.
12:48
I mean, there are a lot of guys, like whenever they have
12:50
someone in their group or, you know, a guy that they know
12:52
they're going through a divorce, they're just gonna sit there
12:54
and just be like, yeah, man, that really stinks.
12:55
Let me know if I can help you.
12:56
They're not willing to potentially step into the fire
12:59
and say, you know what, this is wrong.
13:01
What you're doing is wrong and we need to stop it.
13:04
You know, maybe you know a guy in your life
13:06
that has had an affair or is actively having an affair.
13:09
You have to be the guy to risk your friendship,
13:12
to say, buddy, what you're doing is wrong.
13:15
It's not something that I'm gonna stand for.
13:18
You can't do this.
13:19
I'm not gonna go to your wife and, you know, rat, yeah,
13:22
but you're gonna stop this, right?
13:24
And you have to be willing to potentially come to blows
13:27
with a good friend because you never know
13:28
how these situations will end up.
13:30
You shouldn't aim for that by any stretch of the imagination,
13:33
but you need to confront the men in your life
13:36
when they're doing something that is counter
13:37
to what God would have them do.
13:39
And the last thing here, number seven,
13:41
a guy that voraciously loves their woman.
13:45
So I am specifically talking about men that are married,
13:48
but when you look at these men that are married
13:51
and it just seems like their relationship
13:54
with their spouse is kind of a roommate relationship,
13:57
that should be a red flag to you.
14:00
Now, there are a lot of couples
14:01
that when they present themselves publicly,
14:03
they don't present themselves to where everybody can, you know,
14:05
look at them like, oh, they're holding hands the whole time
14:07
and oh, they're a smoochy, kissy.
14:09
Like a lot of people don't really do that in public.
14:11
But when you're intimately involved with these guys
14:14
as a unit, as a foxhole, you should see some love
14:18
that they're giving towards their spouse.
14:20
And even when they're not around their spouse,
14:22
you should see these guys saying great things
14:24
about their women, not complaining about their women.
14:26
There's a guy the other day that I was training with
14:28
and he was just complaining about his wife the whole time
14:30
and finally it was like, buddy, I mean, I don't wanna hear this.
14:33
Tell me something nice about your wife.
14:35
Tell me something you love about her.
14:36
Like you should voraciously love your woman.
14:40
And again, this is a huge key for the seven things
14:42
that I just got through saying, I'll read them again here.
14:44
Number one, a guy you see often.
14:46
Number two, a guy that is available.
14:48
Number three, a guy that you've watched
14:50
to make improvements in their life.
14:51
Number four, a guy that seems to always be striving.
14:54
Number five, a guy that quickly identifies mistakes
14:57
he has made and moves to remedy them.
14:59
Number six, a guy that doesn't mind confronting you
15:01
or others.
15:02
And number seven, a guy that voraciously loves their woman,
15:05
the key here, you have to be this kind of guy as well.
15:09
Don't just look for these qualities
15:12
and somebody else, you need to have these qualities.
15:16
If there's something on that list of seven things
15:18
that you're not doing well right now, you need to fix it.
15:20
And I mean, right now, you need to fix it.
15:23
You need to make adjustments to where that can be something
15:26
that can be said of you.
15:27
But now let's talk about where to find foxhole guys.
15:32
And this should be pretty simple
15:33
'cause most of you guys are gonna have some sort
15:35
of experience in these areas.
15:36
But the first thing is potentially your family.
15:39
Maybe you have some family members
15:40
that could be foxhole people.
15:42
Maybe it is your dad, maybe it is your uncle.
15:45
And maybe it's someone that's probably
15:46
a little bit closer to your age.
15:47
So that could be a brother, maybe a cousin
15:50
first or second cousin that's kind of close to you.
15:52
Those could potentially be foxhole guys.
15:54
Again, they need to kind of meet those seven standards
15:56
that I laid out above, but look in your family.
15:58
Also look in your church.
16:00
Now, I will say this, make sure you proceed with caution
16:03
because I've talked about it a lot
16:05
in this entire devotional where it's like the church
16:08
has part of the issue as to why men don't have foxholes
16:11
and why men aren't mainly today.
16:12
They certainly have a role to play in that.
16:14
And there's a lot of guys at church
16:15
that they're just, they're presenting.
16:18
They show up on Sunday and they're perfectly pressed shirt
16:21
and they've got their wife on their arm
16:22
and ha ha isn't everything great and they're a mess.
16:25
Right? They're showing off.
16:27
You know, in the community that I live in,
16:28
we have, I mean, you literally can't throw a rock
16:30
and not hit a church in terms of where I live in the country,
16:33
but you're gonna have a lot of people
16:34
that are just doing it up for everybody else.
16:36
They're trying to show off to everybody else.
16:37
Hey, I look how great I am.
16:38
Look how virtuous I am.
16:39
I showed up on Sunday.
16:40
I might even show up on Sunday night.
16:41
And they're just gonna move on with their lives.
16:43
So proceed with caution.
16:45
You can still find foxhole guys there,
16:47
but perhaps not as many as you would think.
16:49
But you can also look at the gym,
16:51
the gym you work out at or a box if you're a crossfit person.
16:54
Maybe it's a jujitsu academy.
16:56
Maybe it's a Muay Thai school or a boxing school.
16:58
Maybe it's some sort of a social club.
17:00
Maybe it's rotary or Toastmasters.
17:02
I mean, there's tons of clubs out there like that.
17:04
Maybe it's at work.
17:06
You know, a lot of you guys work closely with other men.
17:08
You see them on a regular basis, maybe five days a week.
17:11
So that's where you can find some foxhole guys.
17:12
And there are areas that you can look
17:14
that are outside of the ones I just listed there.
17:16
I'm just trying to get you guys thinking
17:18
in terms of the types of people that are around you
17:20
because not all of you kind of do all the things
17:22
I just listed, but there are guys there
17:24
that can be part of your foxhole.
17:26
Okay, so that's step one.
17:27
You need to identify that step one.
17:30
Now we're going to move on to step two,
17:31
which is refine, refining your foxhole.
17:35
So if you go back to day five of this devotional
17:37
when Jesus called the 12 apostles,
17:39
we looked at Mark three versus 13 through 19.
17:42
And so Jesus didn't just pick 12 random dudes.
17:45
He chose these men from a larger group of disciples.
17:50
That is important.
17:52
It wasn't just, well, it looks like there's 12 people
17:55
following me around all the time.
17:56
I guess you were my guys.
17:58
No, no, no, no, no.
17:59
Jesus chose these men.
18:02
And he chose them for specific reasons.
18:05
Now his reasons are above the reasons
18:07
that I laid out above, you know, obviously,
18:10
but at the same time, this is a very important thing
18:13
that Jesus didn't just have the guys that were with them.
18:16
He chose them.
18:17
'Cause there are some people that end up around you.
18:19
They end up in your foxhole and you didn't choose
18:21
for them to be there.
18:21
And we'll talk about how to get rid of some of those guys
18:23
here in a second.
18:24
But one thing that I find that's important
18:26
is if you're going to be refining your foxhole,
18:28
you need to know what a foxhole guy is not, okay?
18:31
And it's not just the opposite of the things
18:33
I listed earlier.
18:34
You need to really look and see what a foxhole guy is not.
18:37
The first thing that a foxhole guy is not is a wuss.
18:40
A wuss.
18:41
And you guys know exactly what I'm talking about.
18:44
This person doesn't have that internal fortitude
18:47
that you need in a foxhole guy.
18:50
The second thing a foxhole guy is not is a complainer.
18:53
Some of that's always just, oh man, everything stinks.
18:56
And why do we got to do this workout?
18:57
Man, I don't want to read that book next.
18:59
And man, why do we have to go to this place?
19:01
Why can't we go to that place?
19:02
Well, I don't want to eat there.
19:04
They're just complaining.
19:05
They're complaining about their circumstances.
19:06
They're complaining about their life.
19:08
You don't want that guy in your foxhole.
19:10
The third type of guy you don't want in a foxhole
19:12
is an excuse maker.
19:14
Some of that's always got an excuse.
19:16
Oh yeah, you know, I was late.
19:18
I was just kind of messing around with the dog
19:19
and I kind of lost track of time.
19:21
Oh yeah, I would have got that project done.
19:22
But you know what, I was kind of doing this,
19:24
or blah, blah, blah, or whatever.
19:25
You don't want that person.
19:26
The person that constantly has a reason
19:30
for why they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing.
19:32
That's an excuse maker.
19:33
And a lot of excuse makers are liars.
19:36
'Cause some of these excuses happen like,
19:37
oh, hey, why are you late?
19:39
There was an accident on the road that I normally use.
19:41
It took me 15 minutes to get through the intersection.
19:42
That's why I'm late.
19:43
Okay, that's a realistic excuse.
19:45
And that's one that we can take.
19:46
A lot of people just straight up lie.
19:48
You know, they don't really care about the consequences.
19:50
They're just going to lie to you.
19:50
You don't want that in your foxhole.
19:52
A fourth thing that a foxhole guy is not is a settler, right?
19:56
Someone that is willing to just settle.
19:58
Again, they get to a certain point physically
20:00
and they're like, I'm good with that.
20:02
You know, I can run about two or three miles without dying.
20:04
Why do I need to run 10?
20:06
You know, I got my marriage to a pretty good spot.
20:08
You know, my wife and I don't find as much to be used to.
20:10
That seems to be okay.
20:12
Ah, you know what, I'm doing okay at work.
20:13
I'm just not really wanting to rock the boat.
20:15
I think this should be fine for me.
20:16
You don't want a settler.
20:18
You want someone that's really, again,
20:19
going back to my list a little bit,
20:21
you want someone that's going to want to strive.
20:22
That's someone that's always pushing.
20:24
Another thing that a foxhole guy is not is an addict.
20:28
Now this can go a lot of different ways.
20:30
If you have an alcoholic in your foxhole,
20:32
that could potentially be a problem,
20:33
especially if you struggle with drinking.
20:36
If you have someone that's addicted
20:37
to pornography and masturbation in your foxhole
20:40
and they talk about it openly
20:41
or they're sending you links
20:43
or sending you pictures in group texts
20:45
or something like that, that's a problem.
20:47
If you have someone that's addicted to lying
20:49
or addicted to money or addicted to any number of things,
20:53
that is a hard person to deal with inside your foxhole
20:55
because that's going to have some different things
20:57
that come out from it
20:58
and it could potentially bring down someone else
21:00
in your foxhole and potentially even you.
21:03
You don't want that.
21:04
Another thing that a foxhole guy is not is a womanizer.
21:07
That's something that's really important.
21:09
A lot of guys think, yeah, they just kind of mess around.
21:11
They're elbow and guys and hey, look at them
21:13
and I've talked about examples in this devotional
21:15
about, hey, they're checking out the waitress or,
21:16
hey, look at this picture of this person.
21:17
I found online just now, you know,
21:19
it's that type of a thing.
21:20
You don't want that guy.
21:22
Especially if you're trying to voraciously love your woman.
21:26
You don't want some jackal in your life
21:28
that's just basically trying to get you
21:30
to cheat on her with your mind.
21:31
And a lot of times when these guys have these affairs,
21:35
they go on and have these different experiences
21:37
with other women, it usually started with them
21:40
not being able to control their eyes.
21:42
And maybe it's because they were surrounded
21:43
by a bunch of morons that were telling them to look around.
21:47
Hey, you know what?
21:47
Well, we're all going to go out to lunch day.
21:49
Where do you want to go?
21:50
And they go to a place where there's scantily clad women,
21:53
right?
21:54
Why would that be a place that you would want to be?
21:56
If you're trying to uphold this Christian godly standard,
21:59
you don't want that.
22:00
You don't want a womanizer in your foxhole.
22:03
And the last thing that a foxhole guy is not is a bum.
22:06
A bum.
22:07
A guy that's never working hard.
22:11
A guy that's always just, you know, kind of skating by
22:14
by the skin of his teeth in terms of a workout or his job
22:17
or something in his life.
22:19
This guy's just a bum.
22:20
He doesn't ever really want to get up.
22:21
He's never available to help you out.
22:23
He's never available to help anybody out.
22:24
He just wants to sit on the couch and veg and eat Cheetos.
22:27
That's all this guy wants to do.
22:29
You don't want bums in your foxhole.
22:33
Now, here's the thing.
22:33
You're going to have guys that end up in your foxhole
22:35
that you don't realize are a wuss, a complainer,
22:38
an excuse maker, a settler, an addict, a womanizer,
22:40
or a bum until they're a part of your foxhole.
22:43
Maybe that's revealed about them later.
22:44
Maybe that's a bad habit they developed.
22:46
So I want to talk a little bit briefly
22:47
about how to kick bums out of your foxhole.
22:49
It's kind of a four-step process here.
22:51
You confront them, you challenge them, you create distance,
22:55
and then you cut them off.
22:56
So confront them.
22:57
Let's just kind of use the womanizing example.
22:58
Let's say you got a guy that's a womanizer.
22:59
He's constantly checking out girls and women everywhere
23:02
that you go, something like that.
23:04
You confront them.
23:05
Hey, man, I know that, you know, we're guys
23:07
and everything like that, but every time we go somewhere,
23:09
every time we go to a restaurant,
23:10
I don't know if you noticed this,
23:11
but you're constantly checking out the waitress,
23:12
you're making comments about their bodies,
23:14
and it makes me uncomfortable.
23:15
I don't think you should be doing that,
23:16
especially since you're married with children, right?
23:19
And then if it continues, then you challenge them.
23:22
Hey, buddy, you know, we're about to all go out
23:24
and grab some drinks, but I want to challenge you.
23:25
I want to challenge you for the entire night
23:28
to not check out a single woman.
23:30
And if you do end up checking a woman out,
23:31
just don't say anything out loud about it.
23:33
Like, I don't want to hear it.
23:34
I'm tired of hearing about it.
23:35
You challenge them.
23:37
But if they continue to do that,
23:38
then you need to create some distance, right?
23:41
Maybe you don't respond to as many text messages.
23:43
Maybe they want to go out and maybe you just, you know,
23:45
make yourself busy.
23:46
You're not available that night.
23:47
You kind of create some distance, right?
23:48
You've already confronted them.
23:49
You already challenged them.
23:50
Now create distance.
23:52
But then at some point, you have to cut that person off.
23:56
So this is not something to where it's like, okay,
23:58
you hate them and you're going to ignore them in public,
24:00
but you have to explain to this man, hey,
24:02
I've talked to you about this on many occasions.
24:05
I think it's very hurtful to your spouse,
24:07
what you're doing, especially if they don't know about it.
24:09
But it's also hurtful to me.
24:11
I'm trying to maintain a relationship with Christ
24:14
and a relationship with my spouse.
24:16
That is something that I can be proud of.
24:17
And, you know, it's hard for me not to look at other women.
24:20
So I need guys like you that are constantly checking out women
24:23
and potentially getting me to check out women as well.
24:26
You know, tempting me to do that.
24:27
I can't have people like that in my life
24:28
and you cut them off.
24:30
And then we'll see where it goes.
24:32
Because you cannot risk your own holiness
24:34
just to keep some weirdo around you, right?
24:38
And this could be an old friend.
24:39
This could be a really, really difficult person to cut off,
24:42
but you have to do that.
24:43
Okay, so step one, identify.
24:46
Step two, refine.
24:48
Now we're on step three, maintain.
24:50
So this is how you maintain a foxhole.
24:53
So you need to perform that regular maintenance, guys.
24:56
So the first thing is you need to meet with your foxhole weekly.
25:00
And that's a minimum, weekly.
25:02
So some guys are like,
25:03
"Ah, you know, weekly is going to kind of be hard."
25:05
So what about monthly?
25:06
The only problem with monthly is if you're not available
25:09
that month or someone else isn't available,
25:10
now you've gone two months without seeing them.
25:12
And if that happens two times in a row,
25:13
now you've gone a quarter of a year
25:15
without seeing that person potentially.
25:17
So you need to find something to do weekly, right?
25:20
And that goes into the next thing
25:21
in terms of maintenance is you need to do stuff, okay?
25:25
Most men's ministries are just women's ministries for men.
25:30
So you don't know these people.
25:32
Everyone just kind of showed up and they're like,
25:33
"All right, guys, we're going to break into groups of five
25:35
"and then I'm going to give you a sheet of questions
25:37
"and you're going to talk about your feelings."
25:39
Well, it kind of goes back to the John Eldridge quote
25:41
that I read yesterday where it's like,
25:43
"You didn't earn that circle."
25:45
That's not a natural thing for men to do.
25:48
Men connect shoulder to shoulder.
25:51
And then they connect in a circle.
25:52
You don't start them in the circle, right?
25:55
That's something that women tend to do.
25:56
They start in the circle and they're chatting
25:58
with one another, but men do stuff side by side.
26:01
So maybe that is jujitsu like my foxhole.
26:03
What my foxhole does is we meet on Sunday nights.
26:06
We are all reading the same book.
26:07
So we spend 30 to 45 minutes talking
26:09
about the reading for that week.
26:11
Then I usually lead everyone through a pretty brutal workout
26:13
and then we train jujitsu.
26:14
And it's not just a bunch of killers in there.
26:16
Some of these people have no grappling training.
26:18
Some of these people have no athletic background,
26:20
but this is just something that they're doing.
26:21
It's a skill set that they're trying to cultivate.
26:24
But you're doing stuff together.
26:26
Maybe one guy has an old muscle card.
26:28
He knows a lot about working on it.
26:29
So you and your guys get together every week
26:31
and you get together and you kind of gather
26:32
around the hood of the car and you're kind of looking
26:34
and checking out stuff like that
26:35
and seeing how you can fix things
26:36
and see how you can change things out.
26:38
Maybe that's what your foxhole does.
26:39
Maybe your foxhole wants to get together
26:41
and help out old ladies that maybe,
26:43
maybe their husbands have passed away
26:44
and their lawns have gotten a little bit overgrown
26:47
and their bushes and the trees are hanging over the house.
26:49
Maybe you're gonna get together with some chainsaws
26:51
and go take care of business.
26:52
I know one thing that my foxhole did the last time
26:54
we had some really severe weather in Oklahoma
26:55
and there was a bunch of trees down.
26:57
We've got everybody together that we knew how to chainsaw
26:59
and we went out and help people out for free, right?
27:02
You know, these lawn companies
27:03
that are making really good money during that time,
27:04
like, you know, God bless them, but at the same time,
27:06
we wanted to help people out
27:07
that maybe they didn't have that three or $400 to have
27:10
somebody cut all their trees down form and do whatever.
27:11
So my crew went out there and did that.
27:13
That's something that we almost look forward to,
27:14
that if there is severe weather,
27:15
that's something that we're gonna do.
27:17
So do stuff together.
27:19
Another way to maintain your foxhole
27:21
is go on an adventure at least once a year.
27:24
Get your group of guys out of that town
27:27
that you normally hang out in and go have an adventure.
27:30
So one thing that my foxhole does
27:32
is we will take these backpacking trips in Colorado
27:34
or New Mexico or something like that
27:36
and we'll go out, you know, way beyond
27:39
where it's comfortable, right?
27:40
Way beyond the campgrounds with the RV plugins
27:43
and all that, no, we're going way out there, right?
27:45
And that's an adventure 'cause you're driving out there
27:48
and you have all the funny stuff that happens on the drive
27:50
and then you get to the trailhead
27:51
and then you're hiking in
27:52
and then you have all your time
27:53
at wherever you set up your base camp
27:55
and then you have all the other activities you do.
27:56
That's a nice adventure.
27:58
Maybe if some of you guys,
27:59
there's a different adventure in mind.
28:00
I mean, that's just an easy one
28:02
'cause for most of you,
28:03
you're driving distance away from a really cool campsite.
28:06
I mean, at least somewhere in the United States,
28:08
there are really cool options for that.
28:09
But whatever your group is into,
28:11
go on an adventure with that group.
28:14
Another way to maintain your foxhole
28:15
is to do life together.
28:17
So that means when someone's having a kid,
28:20
maybe you guys get together and you don't call it,
28:22
you know, a baby shower or something like that,
28:23
but you're doing something to celebrate manhood,
28:25
to celebrate that man and to kind of help them
28:27
lead them into fatherhood or, you know,
28:29
lead them into extended fatherhood
28:31
'cause they're having more kids, right?
28:32
You're doing life together.
28:33
Maybe it's a kid's birthday party, right?
28:36
And you're going to the kid's birthday parties.
28:37
Maybe it's just, hey, coming over,
28:38
I'm thinking about having some whiskey
28:40
and a cigar on the back porch, you want to come down.
28:42
You know, there are a lot of different options
28:44
for you out there, but you're doing life together.
28:47
You're seeing them interacting with their children,
28:49
you're seeing them interact with their spouse,
28:51
you're seeing them interact with their coworkers.
28:53
That's part of doing life together.
28:55
Another way to maintain a foxhole,
28:56
and this is going to be a little bit of feminine
28:58
for some of you guys, but I promise to stick with me here,
29:00
be vulnerable, be vulnerable.
29:04
If you need help, ask for help.
29:06
I know we're men and we're not supposed to ask for help,
29:09
and we're supposed to be able to fix it all on our own.
29:11
Don't be that guy, be vulnerable,
29:13
be willing to ask for help.
29:14
If you're having trouble in your marriage
29:17
and you have a guy that has a very strong relationship
29:18
with his wife, you should take that guy out for a drink
29:21
and y'all should talk about that.
29:23
You should kind of figure out what's going on.
29:25
If you're going through something mentally,
29:27
if you're struggling with something spiritually,
29:29
if there's relationships in your life that are going crazy,
29:31
you need to meet with these men and be vulnerable with them.
29:35
You know, if something's going wrong at work
29:36
and you think you're about to lose your job
29:37
or maybe your job just isn't really satisfying you anymore
29:40
and you're thinking about doing something else,
29:41
maybe starting your own business,
29:42
be vulnerable with these guys.
29:44
If you're struggling financially,
29:45
if things just aren't really going well for you,
29:47
you're really, really scared.
29:48
It's just one of those things
29:49
that's constantly in your head bouncing around.
29:51
You need to be vulnerable with guys.
29:53
Don't pretend like you've got it all figured out
29:55
because you don't, and guess what, spoiler alert,
29:57
they know you don't have it completely figured out.
29:59
So make sure you're vulnerable.
30:01
And another thing that I want to throw out there,
30:03
last thing I'll throw out there in terms of maintaining
30:05
your foxhole is never stop pushing one another.
30:09
Ever, never, never, never, ever stop pushing one another.
30:14
So if you're the guy that's the hard charger
30:17
during the workouts, constantly push guys.
30:20
Now if they're injured, that's something different.
30:21
But if they're just getting weak,
30:23
it is your job to help make them strong.
30:25
If you're the entrepreneurial type
30:27
and you've got some other guys in your foxhole
30:28
that are running businesses
30:29
and they're just kind of slacking off
30:30
or not really doing things they need to do
30:32
in order to build their businesses,
30:33
you need to get after those guys.
30:34
You need to see what you can do to help them,
30:36
push them to be better.
30:38
If you see guys that aren't really stewarding
30:40
their relationships well,
30:41
you need to be in that situation.
30:43
If see guys that are being nasty towards their wives
30:45
or being harsh towards their children,
30:47
you need to be on top of those situations.
30:50
You need to push those guys to be better.
30:52
Always be willing to challenge.
30:54
So again, guys, the three steps.
30:55
Number one, identify.
30:58
Number two, refine.
30:59
And number three, maintain.
31:02
So you might be wondering,
31:03
we're this far into the devotional for today.
31:05
I haven't heard any scripture yet.
31:06
Well, there's only one scripture
31:07
that we're gonna be going over today.
31:09
And it's a common one.
31:09
It's one that you've heard a lot before.
31:11
That's Proverbs 27, 17.
31:13
And I'm actually gonna be reading the 1995
31:15
New American Standard Bible version of this one
31:18
'cause I like it the best.
31:19
But it's this.
31:20
Iron sharpens iron.
31:22
So one man sharpens another.
31:24
So the Benson commentary says this.
31:27
"This quickens his ingenuity and livens his affections,
31:30
"strengthens his judgment, excites him to virtuous
31:33
"and useful actions and makes him in all respects
31:36
"a better man."
31:37
Matthew Henry's concise commentary
31:39
about that scripture says this.
31:40
"We are cautioned to take heed whom we converse with
31:43
"and directed to have in view in conversation
31:46
"to make one another wiser and better."
31:49
And then the pulpit commentary,
31:50
it's probably my favorite on this passage says this.
31:52
"The writer names iron as the sharpener
31:55
"rather than the whetstone
31:57
"because he wishes to denote that one man
31:59
"is of the same nature as another
32:01
"and that this identity is that which makes mutual action
32:05
"possible and advantageous."
32:07
I love that.
32:09
I love that commentary.
32:11
Because here's the thing.
32:12
The process of iron sharpening iron
32:15
is not a quiet, relaxing process.
32:18
There are sparks flying.
32:21
It's loud.
32:22
It's potentially chaotic.
32:24
And in order for iron to sharpen other iron,
32:28
the original iron needs to be sharp.
32:31
Again, I love that this commentary points out
32:34
that this isn't just a whetstone
32:36
because you know, a whetstone is one thing.
32:37
And the iron, you know, maybe the knife or the sword
32:39
or the axe at your sharpening
32:40
is something completely different, no, no, no, no.
32:42
In this scenario, we're needing men to sharpen one another.
32:46
Both of them are iron.
32:48
One of them might be rusted and busted up,
32:50
and one of them might be sharp
32:51
and can chop a watermelon in half with no effort,
32:53
but at the same time,
32:55
those are what can sharpen one another.
32:57
Okay?
32:59
You know, this is a message for you guys
33:01
that have maybe looked at all this devotional material
33:03
and has come down to this,
33:04
and you're looking up at the task of building
33:06
and maintaining a foxhole and thinking,
33:08
"Man, that's a daunting task.
33:09
"I don't really know if I have it in me."
33:11
This will likely not be easy, fellas.
33:13
You should assume that it's going to be hard.
33:16
Most things in life, worth attaining,
33:19
aren't easy to attain.
33:21
We all know that.
33:23
Regardless of what you're thinking about,
33:25
if it's hard to do, it's probably worth it to do.
33:28
In order to sharpen other iron,
33:31
you must yourself be sharp.
33:34
Guys, I'm imploring you.
33:36
Be the iron that sharpens iron.
33:39
Cultivate spiritual, mental, and physical resilience daily.
33:45
Build your foxhole and continuously earn the right to keep it.
33:50
Develop a group of godly warriors
33:54
that pushes back darkness in the name of the father,
33:57
the son, and the Holy Spirit.
33:59
All right, guys, before you move on to the next thing,
34:02
here are some questions for you to ask yourself.
34:04
Number one, who are the foxhole guys in my life?
34:08
It's a pretty simple question, pretty straightforward.
34:10
If you don't have anybody to list,
34:11
it's your responsibility to go find him.
34:13
Number two, what are we doing as a foxhole
34:16
that is helping us develop spiritual,
34:18
mental, and physical resilience?
34:20
So in this question, I'm assuming that you have a foxhole
34:21
already, but are you developing spiritual, mental,
34:24
and physical resilience?
34:25
Are you just hanging out?
34:27
You're just watching fights or watching games.
34:30
What are you doing with that group?
34:31
You should really think through that.
34:33
And the last thing here, maybe the most important question
34:35
that we've asked throughout this entire devotional,
34:37
am I sharp enough to sharpen iron?
34:40
Gotta be honest with that one, guys,
34:44
'cause if you're not sharp enough,
34:45
you're not gonna be able to sharpen anybody else.
34:47
All right, guys, that wraps up
34:50
how to build a godly and manly foxhole.
34:52
Thanks for sticking with us for the last seven days.
34:54
We hope you've gotten a lot of value out of this,
34:55
that you've been able to look at this
34:57
and create some action items
34:58
for how you're gonna either start a foxhole
34:59
or maintain a foxhole or make your foxhole better.
35:02
So we're so glad that we've been able to do that for you.
35:03
But guys, content like this
35:05
is what we are gonna continue to put out,
35:07
but we have to have your help, okay?
35:09
We're not, you know, running this
35:10
like it's some sort of huge enormous organization.
35:12
We need you guys to help us out.
35:14
If you want more content, more devotionals like this,
35:17
books, other videos, other podcasts, other items,
35:20
we need you to be a partner with us,
35:21
but we wanna make sure that you can have access
35:23
to everything that we do and that you can keep hold of it.
35:25
So if you go to www.undaunted.life/donate/foxhole,
35:31
you can gain access to downloading
35:33
this entire seven-day series.
35:35
So if you wanna use it for your foxhole,
35:36
if you wanna use it for your men's group,
35:38
if you wanna use it for your church,
35:39
you know, if you don't want me to come and speak it live,
35:41
if you just wanna do it yourself,
35:42
you just wanna push play,
35:44
you can get access to it there.
35:45
All that we're asking is for you guys
35:47
to give us a donation.
35:48
Guys, this took us a lot of time, a lot of effort,
35:50
a lot of really good brains went into this
35:52
to make sure that it was good,
35:53
lasting evergreen content for you and guys like you,
35:57
but we need your help if we're gonna continue
35:58
to push back darkness.
35:59
So right there, if you go to that link, again,
36:01
that link will be in the show notes,
36:02
you can give us a donation that you feel like
36:04
is commensurate with the level of value that you've gotten.
36:07
Okay, you've heard me mention that, you know,
36:08
I think on day three and on day five, but guys,
36:11
in order for us to continue putting this out there,
36:13
you've got to partner with us.
36:14
Put your money where your mouth is, okay?
36:15
So either become a monthly partner with us
36:18
and donate to us monthly or become a one-time donor.
36:20
What we are asking is that if you are going to give,
36:22
please give at least $10, we wanna make sure
36:24
that this is something that is substantial to you,
36:26
but we know a lot of you can and want to give a lot more
36:29
so you can certainly do that as well.
36:31
But guys, that is all for this series.
36:33
So until next time, keep pushing back darkness,
36:36
keep forging spiritual, mental and physical resilience,
36:40
keep seeking the Lion of Judah.