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183 – TAYA KYLE | Part 1, From Deep Love To Crushing Loss

March 4, 2021 37m 37s Full transcript available
183 – TAYA KYLE | Part 1, From Deep Love To Crushing Loss
0:00 / 37m 37s
In this episode, I sit down with Taya Kyle, the widow of Chris Kyle, to discuss her journey from deep love to the crushing loss of her husband. We delve into the realities of their relationship, the impact of Chris's legacy, and the importance of supporting military families through the Taya and Chris Kyle Foundation.
Transcript
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0:48 This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.
0:50 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
0:52 Let's get into it.
0:53 All right, guys.
0:54 Today, we've got a very special guest here on the podcast and that is Taya Kyle.
0:57 So she is an author and a speaker, but she's also the widow of the late great Chris Kyle,
1:02 who is the most prolific sniper in US military history.
1:06 Most of you guys have read the book American Sniper or seen the Clint Eastwood Directed
1:09 Movie American Sniper.
1:11 So we're going to get into a lot of that information today.
1:13 But today, Taya Kyle also runs the Taya and Chris Kyle Foundation.
1:17 She has released two books that we're going to get into.
1:20 She's just released a men's and women's jewelry line.
1:22 So there you go, guys.
1:23 First time we'll be talking about jewelry here on this podcast.
1:26 But here's the thing about what we have here.
1:27 We kind of have a unique situation because never before on Undaunted Life, a man's podcast
1:32 have we had a two part interview.
1:34 But that's exactly what we're going to be doing today is part one of the interview.
1:39 And the reason why it turned into two parts is, you know, we had kind of a limited time
1:43 to chat on the first time we got together.
1:46 But the thing about Taya, she likes to give a lot of detail and she likes to really go
1:50 deep on some of the subject matters.
1:52 And so the overwhelming majority of the things that we were supposed to talk about for her
1:56 interview, we didn't really get to.
1:58 And I didn't want her to feel rushed and I didn't want to kind of feel like I needed
2:02 to check all the boxes on my interview questions list.
2:05 And so right after we got off the air after the first episode, you know, we talked about
2:09 doing this again and having a little bit longer the second time because guys, there's
2:13 some really, really interesting nuggets off of this first episode.
2:18 And they just, they needed more context.
2:20 They needed more conversation.
2:22 They just, they're needed to be a little bit more there.
2:25 And so I'm happy to report that we do have a part two coming up and that's going to
2:28 be next week.
2:29 And so you got to come back and listen to next week.
2:31 But guys, we really go deep again on this podcast.
2:35 We don't try to ask the same questions that everybody asks in every type of interview.
2:39 Okay.
2:40 We try to elicit some different responses and go into different areas.
2:43 We don't just ask kind of the canned questions that you'll get with a lot of interviews.
2:47 And we definitely accomplished that here with this first episode.
2:50 I don't really want to spoil anything, but if you know the story of Chris and Taya Kyle
2:54 and you know the story of his murder and basically the legacy that he has left here after and
3:00 the legacy of the Kyle family, you're going to love this first episode and you are going
3:04 to really love next week's episode.
3:06 So guys, without further ado, let's get into it.
3:11 Taya Kyle, welcome to Undaunted Life of Man's podcast.
3:14 Thank you so much for having me.
3:16 I got to tell you, we have really been looking forward to this podcast because you have been
3:20 a highly requested guest for us and you're our second female guest.
3:23 So you're holding it down for the ladies out there.
3:25 But one great place for us to start this interview is obviously a lot of your profile is tied
3:30 to your former husband, Chris Kyle, and just the life that you two built and you know,
3:36 the great patriotic American life for the two of you.
3:39 And a lot of your relationship, frankly, has been put out there in movies and books books
3:44 by the two of you.
3:45 So we know the story of how you met and a little bit about everything.
3:48 But I just want to kind of start off by how how your relationship was like, give us some
3:53 insight into what Taya and Chris Kyle were like to those of us who weren't actually doing
3:57 life with you.
3:58 No, yeah.
3:59 I really appreciate that.
4:00 And I hope I don't screw it up for future women guests by tanking.
4:03 No, I'm just kidding.
4:04 I think it'll be all right.
4:05 No, I'm just kidding.
4:06 I know your guys are cool.
4:07 I loved the brief.
4:08 He gave me on your audience and your listeners, so you guys are all my people.
4:13 Yeah, I, our relationship was really fun.
4:17 And I think that's a part that doesn't really fit into a dramatic movie or book, right?
4:23 But I think, you know, we're just, we, we loved everyday people, favorite kind of people.
4:30 And if, if there's a celebrity who's like an everyday person, love them too, right?
4:34 It's, but to us, those are, those were always our favorite people.
4:37 So our life was being surrounded by those kind of people and enjoying it.
4:42 We went to churches where, I mean, we laugh, but it's like, if it's like a band of misfits,
4:48 it's our kind of church, you know, we were always kind of going to like a smaller place
4:51 where it's just like, you know, we're just, we're unique.
4:55 We're individuals and, and, you know, we're so far from perfect and we don't expect anybody
5:01 else to be just the more real, the better, right?
5:03 And, and so our, our home was filled with a lot of laughter, a lot of youthful playfulness
5:09 and, and then we had these really hard times, you know, and it was weird because when I
5:15 first met Chris, we were both, I think so different, but how do I say this?
5:22 So it was a different type of person to date and yet it was a perfect fit and there were
5:27 things in his life that fit with mine and mine that fit with his, even though you might
5:32 not think it on the surface.
5:34 And so we, you know, we fell in love quickly.
5:38 We engaged quickly.
5:40 Chris, if you were here, would tell you that I stole his opportunity to propose to me because
5:44 I proposed to him and, but, you know, then, then war changes people and I didn't believe
5:54 that at first.
5:55 You know, after we got engaged, I asked my dad if he had any concerns and he retired
5:59 to Lieutenant Colonel in the Marine Corps and he was jagged, but, you know, he didn't
6:03 have combat tours or anything like that and, and spent most of his time in the reserves.
6:09 And so when I asked him if he had any reservations about me marrying Chris, he said, no, he's
6:15 an incredible guy.
6:16 The only thing that I have any pause with is that he's likely going to go to war and war
6:22 changes people.
6:23 And I was thinking, well, A, first of all, who knows if he will, but B, you don't know
6:29 Chris.
6:30 Like he does not.
6:31 He is so constant.
6:32 It doesn't matter who he's in front of.
6:34 It doesn't matter the type of event, the state, the place, the country, you know, he just
6:39 is himself.
6:41 But I mentioned that to Chris probably in the last couple months of his life and it was
6:48 the first time I'd shared that with him and he said, wow, yeah, I guess your dad knew
6:52 what he was talking about, right?
6:53 And it kind of surprised me because I thought we have changed, but that's also life for
6:58 everybody.
6:59 If you're living, you've got to be changing and growing.
7:02 I think if you're going to survive it.
7:05 And so it's a very long-winded answer, but I think the thing that would, that most people
7:12 didn't know just from the book and the movie is how funny he was, how many pranks he pulled.
7:17 I mean, our house was full of dark humor and pranks and laughter and a lot of hurt feelings
7:24 and a lot of trauma that we had to work through and a lot of us looking at each other going,
7:29 what the hell is happening to our marriage?
7:31 We were so sort of perfect for each other and then it's like, what happened?
7:37 But I learned that it was not us, it's the military life and service life, first responders.
7:43 The attacks on the marriage are so lengthy, it takes me about five minutes to list them
7:48 all out truly and we didn't know that.
7:51 So that's why I have our foundation today is to help other people, A, feel not alone
7:56 and B, to give them the tools because if you have the right tools, it's not that hard,
8:01 but without the tools, it feels impossible sometimes.
8:03 Well, I'll tell you to be honest with you in kind of following y'all's story and reading
8:08 your memoirs and Chris's memoir and like, the thing that you get is that y'all are supremely
8:13 normal, which is comforting because when you read about these amazing people that have
8:18 done these incredible things that are very unique, you just automatically put them on
8:22 some sort of a pedestal and people forget like, no, no, these are real people like they have
8:26 arguments over who's going to put up the dishes, they have arguments as to how we're going
8:30 to parent the children and that's just a normal everyday thing.
8:33 So it's comforting for guys like me and the guys that listen to this type of a show is
8:38 that man, these aren't perfect people, they're just extraordinary people that have been gifted
8:42 by God and we're putting the right place at the right time.
8:45 But I do want to go ahead and skip, I was going to talk about this a little bit later in the
8:48 podcast, but I think it's important since you brought it up, just talking about the foundation.
8:51 So there was the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation and now it's the Taya and Chris Kyle Foundation.
8:57 And so you two were developing this foundation and its principles prior to Chris's passing,
9:01 which we'll certainly get into and you've kept it going and expanded it considerably
9:05 over the years.
9:06 And the vision is to support military and first responder families and communities.
9:10 So could you give us a little bit more detail as to how you do that and maybe even perhaps
9:14 how our audience could get involved with you?
9:16 Yeah, I for sure will and I appreciate you saying that.
9:18 And then I can be like the ADD, you know, squirrel and get off track.
9:23 I want to talk about that and I also don't want to forget to come back to a point you
9:28 made about Chris and I being everyday people and how sometimes people are on a pedestal.
9:32 So how about we go ahead, let's do the pedestal first and we don't forget because I think
9:36 that's a good point and then we can get into a tack out.
9:38 Okay, perfect.
9:39 So, you know, I, one of my biggest pet peeves is seeing these guys who are, well, I guess
9:48 in general, anybody who starts to get kind of like too big for their britches and they've
9:52 sought out fame so that they can feel that superiority, right?
9:57 That I just, it's like a repellent for me.
10:00 And the other part of that is with the SEAL teams, you know, I don't think they could
10:05 have had a better ambassador than Chris because, and Marcus, you know, the trail, but Chris
10:10 is so, and he's a friend that I just, but talking about Chris is he's so, he's so humble
10:17 and he was genuinely humble and that is what a SEAL is supposed to be.
10:21 That's a humble operator.
10:23 It's the only time you see in American symbolism that the Eagles head is bowed and it's for
10:28 humility.
10:29 So that's a really big deal.
10:30 And we know tons of guys who are SEALs that, I mean, like Chris, they would live in neighborhoods
10:34 nobody would know they were ever a SEAL, right?
10:37 Right.
10:38 And so my, my issue is you have a couple of guys and I'm sure some of your listeners
10:42 know them and they just, they look like a caricature of what you would think and they,
10:49 they market it, they, you know, play it.
10:54 They try to act like, you know, I'll tell you how to be tough and, you know, all this
10:57 stuff.
10:58 It drives me insane because number one, they've lost respect of the people for the most part,
11:02 right, in the community of the SEALs.
11:04 And number two, it's a facade.
11:07 That's not, that's not even real, right?
11:09 And they're the guys who, you know, might want to go to a Naval Academy or West Point
11:14 just so they can say they had it and then they'll Brown knows every, you know, that's
11:17 just, that is like a small part of the SEAL teams and it's the worst part, right?
11:23 There are those people in every job and it's no different in the SEAL teams.
11:27 And then there's this great group of guys who are just the coolest dudes and you just
11:31 want to hang out with them because they're cool and then you find out what they do and
11:34 you go, whoa, shoot, you know what I mean, like crap, that's, that's the, that's intense.
11:38 So okay.
11:39 That, thank you for letting me get on my soapbox for a second because I loved that about Chris
11:43 and I think that's also why he was beloved and also why, you know, people were going
11:50 to write a book about him.
11:51 He didn't want a book about him, did not want it was adamant and, and other people started
11:56 to write books about him and so it was this point where if you don't do it the way you're
12:01 comfortable, they're going to do it.
12:04 And, and so he finally was like fine and he kind of half-assed a contract where somebody
12:09 totally screwed us on it and anyway, but he kept his word even though they were screwing
12:14 us over blah, blah, blah.
12:16 Bottom line is he didn't care because he was said, I'm giving away all the money for
12:19 the book and I'm going to make sure people know it's not, I'm not this, I didn't do this
12:23 for me and I didn't do this for money and then the first thing when we sat down to write
12:27 the book, Chris was like, look, I don't, one of the main reasons he didn't want people
12:32 writing a book about him is he's like, they're going to make me out to be some kind of hero
12:36 or legend and that's not the truth and they're going to leave out all these guys I served
12:40 with that deserve to be recognized.
12:42 And so, you know, that is, that's the essence.
12:45 He sat down and he said, here are my flaws, here was our problems, you know, and he didn't
12:51 tell anything that, I mean, of course he didn't say any top secret or confidential stuff.
12:56 He also didn't tell a whole lot of other things, you know, just because he didn't need to puff
13:01 his chest out or, you know, whatever.
13:03 And so, I think at the end of the day, that was one of the most beautiful things and one
13:09 of the things that made Chris Chris was he was just, he didn't want to be seen as anything
13:15 different than that and because of that, so many people have healed because they can
13:19 watch the movie and say that's my story, right?
13:23 And that's what it's supposed to be, it's their story too because we're all just people
13:27 trying to get through it, we're all just marriages trying to figure it out, we're all
13:30 just guys going to war to do their best and coming home and trying to figure that out
13:35 too.
13:36 And there've been stories where people tell me they were in the parking lot afterward.
13:42 Some of them found God in the parking lot afterwards because of the conversations that
13:46 wouldn't have happened if they glorified, you know, him as like some, you know, action
13:50 movie, whatever hero and some people that a lot actually, they've come to me and said
13:56 that was the first time my spouse ever started to open up was after they watched American
14:00 sniper and they felt like I can talk about it like, and so families are healing from
14:05 it too.
14:06 So again, I'm going to try not to keep talking about it, but I love that so much about Chris.
14:11 Well, just real quick before, I promise we'll talk about the foundation, but something that
14:15 you said triggered something for me was there were different points in the movie.
14:20 Like I just rewatched it again here recently and I'm like, man, they really kind of like
14:25 Chris who seemed like a very reserved guy, you know, in the populace, they kind of like
14:30 showed his very, very raw emotions, you know, that the scene with him in the bar where he
14:34 was stateside and he's talking to you on the phone or seeing a mirror from the movie.
14:39 And it was like, wait a minute, like that, that was so brutal and so gut wrenching, but
14:43 also so honest. And so that again is a thing that strikes me about y'all's story is just
14:48 the honesty.
14:49 And before I take us into another tangent, we do have some other ground to cover. I would
14:53 really love to hear about the foundation. And so you could give our guys a little bit of
14:57 a insight as to that.
14:58 Okay, I'll do it. And I'll make it quick so that we can get to some other good stuff.
15:02 So people can find it online, tanchristkilefoundation.org. And the bottom line, I guess, if for listeners,
15:10 I would say it all comes back to these marriages are different and the tools they need are
15:16 different. And 80% of service suicides are relationship related.
15:23 So when people say, hey, we need to work on the suicide thing, I'm like 80% of relationship
15:28 related, what we need to do is help them know how to handle their marriage in a service
15:33 life because it's different, less than 1% of the population serves. So they just need
15:37 the tools and they're strong, they'll fix it themselves. If you make the marriage strong,
15:42 then they can go out and find the help they need for PTS, right? They have hope. And suicides
15:48 of spouses and children of service members are on the rise. So what does that tell you?
15:52 It says something at home is really painful. And these are people who signed up to serve
15:56 and give their lives. So service comes naturally to them, but they just don't have the tools.
16:02 So that's, I can kind of sum it up that way and just let you know that my experience
16:06 is that if the marriage isn't strong and the spouse says to the service member, hey, something
16:13 seems off or you can do this or you need to do that, right? And the service member is
16:17 like, I'll never be good enough for you. I'm broken. Stop nagging me. But if the marriage
16:22 is good and you're like, hey, babe, something just seems like a little off, you know, I
16:28 have some ideas, but how are you? What do you think? Then they're like, this is my teammate
16:32 coming to help me. And they can be strong where I am hurting. And then they go forth
16:37 and conquer, right? But you have to be able to have the tools to keep that relationship
16:41 in the place of, hey, babe, can I help you? And they see it as she's really coming out.
16:47 So that that in essence is is what we do, why we do it. And our whole mission is to keep
16:52 those families together and just thrive instead of just hanging on by a thread.
16:56 Yeah, and it's an incredible mission. And guys, we're going to have the links to the
17:00 foundation and the show notes and the encouragement is because we know a lot of you guys listening
17:03 to this are active duty or a tired military. And there are resources out there. And so
17:08 Taya, I'm sure would would echo this. But this is a big deal. And it's not something
17:12 that you should let go by the wayside or deal with it tomorrow deal with it today. Go to
17:16 the website, check it out. There's a lot of resources there to kind of go back a little
17:20 bit. And I know it's it's a tough subject, but you've been very, very brave as you've
17:24 talked about it. But there's obviously the death of Chris, the untimely death of Chris,
17:28 where he was murdered by a troubled veteran that he was actually in the process of helping.
17:33 He was murdered alongside one of his friends. And that happened back in February of 2013.
17:39 You spent a lot of time talking about it. You spent a lot of time thinking about it. But
17:43 the thing that I'm struck by is how resilient you've been in the face of becoming a widow.
17:48 Even from the top of the podcast, I kind of got tongue tied calling you Chris, this former
17:52 wife and not widow. It's a weird thing, right? But I know it's hard to talk about. But could
17:57 you give us an idea of what that time in your life was like? And then now here we are, you
18:02 know, so many years later, and how you've been able to be resilient in the face of becoming
18:07 a widow.
18:08 Yeah, for sure. And you know, I have such compassion for that awkward part of addressing
18:11 a widow and I that it all it's all going to go back to what I'll tell you in just a second,
18:17 but God prepares us for stuff. And so I had enough exposure, sadly, to widows to know what
18:23 that feels like. And I have such compassion for people. So if somebody's coming to me
18:28 and they're tongue tied or they don't know what to say, I'm like, I get it, I hear your
18:32 heart. Thank you. Right. You can't say something wrong to me. And I feel so bad for people
18:37 who are trying to say something to somebody grieving and the grieving person gets mad
18:41 at them. Right. And I've heard it. I've heard widows be like, if one more person says,
18:44 I'm sorry, or how are you? And I'm like, God, they're just trying to love you. Like, can
18:48 you not just, you know, it's so anyway, I get that. And so that kind of brings me to my
18:55 next point, which is, you know, how did how did we survive that? And I look at it very
19:00 much from a faith perspective. And I see God is the most loving parent. And I do not believe
19:08 that he's the one that I don't think he actually dishes out the evil. I think, well, I can
19:13 get to that next. If you don't mind, I think it might help some listeners. But yeah, but
19:18 for this particular part of the story, I see God as his loving parent. And he looked at
19:24 me and he said, okay, my child is going to have an amputation. So as a parent, if my
19:29 child had to have an amputation, what would I do? I would not go to them and say, here's
19:33 everything you need to know, here's everything that's going to happen. And like dump it on
19:37 him, right? They would be, it would be awful. They would be too much. And so I would give
19:42 them little bits of information where I would expose them to people who had experienced
19:47 it. And I would show them people who are strong. And then I would tell them some things. I
19:51 would teach them some things. Then I would sit with them during the amputation as much
19:55 as you know, you're allowed. And then right after I'd be nurturing, help them get better.
20:00 And then I'd say, okay, baby, here we go. You are going to go out and you are going to
20:04 rock it. You're going to go, you know, live your life. You're going to be strong. You're
20:08 going to show people that that amputation didn't kill you, right? You have just as much
20:11 to offer as you ever did it and more. So I look at that and I think that's God. That's
20:16 what he did because I believe if I had lost Chris without any exposure to anything else,
20:25 it would have been different. And I had that from very early on, I started going to funerals
20:32 of our friends and Chris would be deployed and I would be the one going or I'd take my
20:36 kids to go and it was just brutal to watch them go through it. But it also started getting
20:45 me thinking, okay, how am I going to do this, right? How am I going to walk this life and
20:49 not live in total fear? And how do these women do it? And it was like, man, the sun
20:55 just keeps coming up and it keeps going down and they're surviving. I don't know how but
20:59 they are. And Chris and I got to talk about life not being fair, right? How come one person
21:05 is walking out of the battlefield for the first time and they're getting killed? And then somebody
21:10 else like Chris is running down alleyways with bullets flying by their head, gets pinged
21:13 in the helmet, is breaking down doors, right? And so with that, I got to see how life is
21:20 unfair and how there is no rhyme or reason. So I believe that God prepared me in ways,
21:27 even from being an early child, you know, when my cousin was killed when she was three
21:31 years old and the most awful way, and there was nothing anybody could have done to change
21:35 it. And I was about eight or nine at the time. I watched my aunt survive that. And I think,
21:40 you know, what what evil means to destroy God can use for good. So even the death of a child,
21:47 he could bring good through that in a way that not just for me, right, my aunt and my
21:52 cousins and we would all trade it and have my cousin alive. And God still was able to
21:59 bring a lot of blessings through even what I would consider were the worst things in life.
22:05 And so, so that's one of the things. The other thing is when my kids knew evil existed,
22:14 so we were open enough with them when our friends would die, you know, they were very
22:18 young, but they would say, you know, mom, what's wrong? And I'd say, listen, we need
22:21 to pray for their families. They're in heaven now, but their family is here and they're
22:25 going to miss them for a while until they see them again. Let's pray for them. And so
22:30 they they understood enough about God, eternal life, evil, good things that don't make sense.
22:40 So when it happened to us, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility, even though, you
22:46 know, Chris died state side and and and by the way, the guy who murdered Chris and Chad,
22:51 he did not according to prosecution and defense. He did not have PTSD. He never had
22:55 a traumatic event in his life. He just, he chose something evil and he made some bad
23:00 choices in his life and he got away with it by claiming PTS. And so, you know, that's
23:05 another story, but it's important to me that people know that because PTS doesn't make
23:10 somebody a murderer, right? And so, so on the one hand, I see how God prepared us the
23:16 other hand, as I started to go out and do speaking engagements and meet people across
23:20 the country and the kids, you know, traveled with me, but I met some of these pastors who
23:25 were scholars and had studied stuff. And I said, listen, when I was little, I didn't
23:29 believe there was a devil. I knew there was God, I could feel him and I lived a really
23:33 good life. And so, I knew there was God. I just thought maybe God had things happen
23:38 like my cousin dying for reasons we didn't understand, but maybe we were just supposed
23:42 to learn from it. And then I saw evil with the stories of Chris and the guys being overseas
23:48 and the savage behavior. And the first responders who would tell us, you know, domestic violence
23:54 and abuse against kids that are so evil, I couldn't even have imagined being that cruel
23:59 to somebody, right? And so, I started to go, so evil exists. And this is what they, this
24:05 is what the scholars all kind of educated me at different times. And I came up with this
24:11 sort of layman's vision that's helped me. And so, I hope it'll help some of your listeners.
24:15 I see, you know, God and Satan and, you know, here's this beautiful angel and he challenges
24:22 God and says, like, you're not all that. I could do this. And God's like, well, you
24:26 know, you're making a choice and he makes the choice to leave and take some angels with
24:29 him and challenge God. And so, I believe that God created the earth and he put his beloved
24:34 souls here and said, okay, Satan, go your hardest. I'll give you this realm. And I will
24:40 show you that without seeing me and knowing me, they will still, the majority will still
24:43 choose good. They will still want good. They will still seek me out and they'll find me.
24:47 Like evil isn't going to win. And so, I then started to see this world as a chess game.
24:54 And my son likes to play chess and he said, mom, that's perfect because chess is a game
24:58 of sacrifice and gain. And so, something happens on the chess board. You know, my cousin dies
25:03 or Chris gets killed or a number of other things that we've all experienced that are
25:06 horrible. And we think, you know, Satan just made a move on the chess board and was like,
25:11 okay. And we all just go, oh my God, this is it, right? But God is the master chess player
25:18 and he's playing so many steps in advance that sometimes we have to wait, right? Like
25:22 you wait in chess sometimes for another move to happen on the board. But eventually, God
25:27 is always there with checkmate, right? So, that's how I see it. And eternal life is one
25:34 of the checkmates. I know I get to see Chris again. I have no doubt. And so, anyway, I
25:40 if that helps answer the question, how did we do it? It's a lot of those things. I think
25:43 God prepared me ahead of time. I think I also have learned a lot about this chess game of
25:48 life. And so, their murders set off a ripple effect of evil. That was the first massive
25:55 evil that hit. And then there were just a flood of them that have happened over the
25:59 last seven years. And another day in another podcast and maybe when the time is right,
26:07 I can share more of that. But things that would, I would have never believed could have happened
26:12 have still happened to us. And yet, I'm okay because God is good. And I know checkmate's
26:18 coming. And I've become more fearless every time I survive something awful. And so, now
26:24 I'm like, wow, I actually understand for the first time in my life that verse in the Bible
26:29 that says that we're supposed to treat trials and tribulations with joy. Because they really
26:33 do. Once you get through them, you're stronger. It's just getting through them sucks, right?
26:37 It's hard.
26:38 Right. Well, Taya, I just got to be honest with you. I feel like we have earned a second
26:44 podcast down the road because I feel like we don't want to give short shrift to some
26:48 of those things. And I think in our time allotted today, well, we'll do what we can to pack
26:52 in the content. But I really think that we should get together to have that further discussion
26:57 because as you were talking, you were talking about God preparing you. And a lot of times
27:01 when you're being prepared for something, you don't know what that something eventually
27:04 is going to be. You know, I talked to a counselor recently about, and I talked on this podcast
27:09 about suicide. And a lot of people, if they don't kill themselves, they don't know what
27:14 the strength they're garnering during the trouble is going to be used for later. And so one thing
27:19 that you mentioned, Chris is killer. That's Eddie Ray Ralph. He was convicted on two counts
27:24 of first degree murder for killing Chris and his buddy Chad. And he's currently serving,
27:27 you know, a life sentence with without the option of parole, even though his punishment
27:32 probably should have been more severe than that. But this is kind of a short and admittedly
27:36 pointed question, but it kind of goes to the whole idea of God preparing you for something
27:40 you never thought you had to deal with. Have you forgiven Eddie for what he's done to your
27:44 husband?
27:45 It's such a good question. It's a really powerful one. And yeah, I'd love to come back by the
27:50 way for another one. Like I said, you guys are all my people. So the, so with the ripple
27:57 effect of evil, there are a lot of things I sat in the back of the church one time with,
28:01 you know, tears running down my face because it was a small church. Like I said, band of
28:04 misfits kind of church. And I liked it because the pastor would talk to us. And, and he came
28:09 back and I said, you were talking about pouring it out on the altar of God. And there are some
28:12 of these people that have chosen now when I'm gutted and bleeding out on the sidewalk.
28:18 That's the visual I have of how my emotions feel. And they're kicking me, right? Like
28:22 they're just, they're coming for, for more blood as if I'm not already bleeding out.
28:26 And I, I don't know how to forgive that. And I wasn't even in the realm of forgiving the
28:31 murderer. Like I wasn't even on my radar. And he said, well, Taya, so one of the things
28:38 that Christians make a mistake of often is that they think forgiveness means you let that
28:42 person back into your life. And so if you look at God in the Israelites and they had to
28:47 wander for 40 years and they come by and they say, you know, God, we're so sorry, we, we
28:51 forgive us. And he says, my child, I forgave you the moment you did it. But that doesn't
28:55 mean you get to go back to the place I had for you. Right? Meaning even God can say,
28:59 I forgive you, but they're, they're, they're still boundaries because of your decisions.
29:04 And so, and Proverb says, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. And so
29:08 what I've had to learn is I can forgive someone who is absolutely hateful, inspired other people
29:15 to kill me, like, you know, lots of things. People that know better than have just changed
29:19 our story completely, you know, for hateful things. It's, and I was able to look at it
29:25 finally and go, I forgive them because they're human and they're broken. And they have no
29:32 idea how to handle their pain in a healthy way. And so they're choosing hate and they're
29:37 choosing evil. And I can forgive them for being broken because I'm broken too. And I can forgive
29:43 them because I can say they, they maybe they didn't have the same kind of, you know, upbringing
29:46 or opportunity or exposure that I had all of that. But that doesn't mean they get to come
29:51 into my life and keep abusing me. And so with that, then at some point I had to look at the
29:58 murderer and it took years and years and I was talking to my kids about it too. And I thought,
30:01 can I forgive him for being human? Yeah, I can look at him and say, you're another person in
30:08 this world that's just broken and I don't know your whole story. I don't really want to know it.
30:11 Right? Like I know he was in trouble in high school. I know from what I've heard anyways that his
30:15 mom used to smoke weed with him in high school in the back, you know, that's what I've heard.
30:19 And I think well, you're, there was a series of events and there were so many times for someone
30:24 to have stepped in. Even even the week before he killed Chris and Chad, he was, he was at the
30:28 police station because he held his girlfriend by the samurai sword. And you know, I mean,
30:33 and she didn't prosecute, meaning there were all these points that the trajectory could have changed
30:39 and it didn't. And so can I forgive him for being pursued by evil or choosing evil once? And then,
30:44 and then, you know, once evil gets a hold, like I picture the devil as like these long,
30:49 spindly, smoky hands kind of. And I picture it as like, if he gets his hand in the crack of the
30:54 door, if you let him have that, then he'll get his arm, his shoulder. And before you know it,
30:59 you can't close the door, right? Because you're just, he's in. I mean, you can eventually, but you
31:03 have to be, you have to work at it and want it. And so I feel like that's kind of where I go.
31:09 I can forgive that guy for being broken. And I never want to talk to him. I never want to look
31:15 at him. I don't need to tell him I couldn't care unless he doesn't exist in my mind. I wouldn't be
31:21 able to. Well, I don't know that I wouldn't be able to. I don't want anything to do with him. I don't
31:26 want to know how he's doing. I want him to rot in prison, right? Like that's, and I think those two
31:31 things can coincide. I wouldn't be disappointed to hear that he was brutalized by other prisoners.
31:39 You know what I'm saying? I'm not advocating that. I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt me.
31:42 And yet at the same time, I can say, you know, he's a broken guy. He made choices. He's suffering.
31:48 People, people brutalized him. I can't change that. Those were his decisions.
31:51 And still want him to stay there. Also, when you said, you said something about you thought his
31:58 punishment should have been worse. It's so interesting because they asked Chad's wife,
32:04 Leanne, and I both, if we wanted the death penalty. And they explained that sometimes it's harder to
32:09 get a conviction for that and all these things. And there was this moment, and there were these
32:15 surreal moments in intense trauma where I feel like, I don't know, there's something that the
32:20 Holy Spirit's doing something different in you in those moments. And I sat there and I thought,
32:24 you know, as a Christian, I'm supposed to want him to have a chance of redemption with God,
32:31 right? I don't know if he finds God in prison or not. That's not my problem. That's to God,
32:35 I believe God will keep pursuing him. I don't know that death is any easier because if he's
32:41 already a Christian or believing, then he goes to paradise. I'm not saying God doesn't have punishment,
32:46 right? I'm sure he does. I don't know what he does. I also know we're forgiven. And I don't
32:50 have clear answers on that. So if he believes in Christ and goes to heaven, that doesn't
32:55 sound like much punishment. I mean, you know, aside from, I don't know what God has in store for us,
33:00 but I believe we're forgiven. So I haven't quite wrestled that one out. And so I thought, well,
33:05 good, then hell on earth in a maximum security prison where nobody's getting out. None of those
33:11 prisoners are getting out. So none of them have an incentive for good behavior. That sounds pretty
33:15 good to me. Well, I just got to say, I really appreciate your honesty and candor because,
33:20 like I told you, off air before the podcast, I mean, we have a pretty rough around the edges
33:24 crowd that listens to this podcast. And, you know, it would have been really easy to give kind of the
33:29 canned answer, the TBN or K love answer. But that's not really what you did. Well, say, again, I really
33:36 appreciate you being so honest about all of your different answers. And we will definitely figure
33:41 out a way because your staff has been great to work with. We'll figure out a time to get you on so
33:45 we can do a part two of this. And we'll get into, you know, your books and you've got some jewelry
33:49 lines or launching, but we'll certainly get deeper into the stuff today. But to the stuff that we
33:53 talked about today, rather, but without any of that other content, you know, that's all for me for
33:58 today. Is there anything else you want to get off your chest before we let you go? No, you're
34:02 awesome. But I just, to all the service members who are listening, thank you for your service and
34:06 to their family members and people who support them. Just, like I said, these, this audience of
34:10 yours are people I love to be with. So even though I didn't get the feedback, I'm honored to be with
34:14 you. Take Kyle. Thanks for coming on a Daunted Life of Man's podcast. Thank you.
34:23 There you go, guys. I hope you enjoyed part one of my talk with Taya Kyle. And guys,
34:27 if you enjoyed part one, next week's episode is going to blow your mind because it's about twice
34:32 as long as this episode is, we get a lot deeper into a lot of different subjects. But then we do
34:35 talk about our books. We talk about the jewelry line. We talk about some other things. But man,
34:39 there were just some great nuggets in that podcast. And I was just sitting there for a lot of the
34:43 interview kind of slack jawed at how open and honest she was being because when you go into an
34:48 interview with someone like that, you know, a gold star wife, a widow of a military hero,
34:53 you expect to hear certain things in a certain way. And Taya just doesn't do that. Taya is Taya.
34:59 She's going to give it to you straight and she's going to give it to you in her own way. And so I
35:02 really, really appreciated that. All right, guys, before we let you go, we are going to do a quick
35:05 resilience boost. As you know, by now we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating
35:10 manly resilience. And specifically, we do that by providing you content like this podcast that
35:14 helps you forge spiritual, mental and physical toughness. So the resources I have for you today,
35:18 the first is Taya Kyle's website. So you can find a lot of the information about her there.
35:22 Also, I've got the links to Taya and Chris Kyle's books, also the Taya and Chris Kyle Foundation.
35:27 And then the warrior collections jewelry line, which we'll talk more about next week. All right,
35:31 guys, thanks so much for listening to the podcast. We really do appreciate it. If you would, please
35:35 subscribe on Apple podcast, iTunes, Spotify, Google podcast or Stitcher and refer your friends to
35:39 listen and share this on social media. Guys, if we deserve a five star review, please leave us five
35:44 stars in a few sentences, letting us know why you like the content. I'm currently booking speaking
35:47 engagements for the remainder of 2021. So if you want to come speak on your podcast at your
35:51 men's event at your church at your business, just hit me up info at undaunted.life. That's I N F O
35:56 at undaunted.life. The website is www dot undaunted.life. You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter
36:02 at undaunted life or Facebook.com backslash undaunted life. Check out our free devotionals on the
36:07 U version Bible app. Just search undaunted life under plans. And as always, we want to thank the
36:12 band August Burns bread for allowing us to use their entire music library for our content. The
36:16 entire outro track on this podcast is our song defender, which is off their latest record entitled
36:20 guardians. The links are in the description. I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep cultivating
36:27 mainly resilience, keep forging spiritual, mental and physical toughness. Keep seeking the lion of
36:33 Judah. We need to defend our voices. Take care of the great. We need to defend our. Open and break.
36:50 Back. You.
Key quotes
2
Taya Kyle
I can forgive them for being broken because I'm broken too.
Taya Kyle
What evil means to destroy, God can use for good.
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