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176 – Contemporary Worship Music Is For Women And Effeminate Men

January 21, 2021 49m 00s Full transcript available
176 – Contemporary Worship Music Is For Women And Effeminate Men
0:00 / 49m 00s
In this episode, I tackle the uncomfortable truth about contemporary worship music and its disconnect with men. It's time to confront the reality that much of this music caters to women and effeminate men, leaving many men feeling alienated in their faith.
Transcript
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0:31 This is Undaunted Life of Man's podcast.
0:33 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
0:35 Let's get into it.
0:39 Let me say how much I love you.
0:42 Let me speak of your mercy and grace.
0:45 Just let me live in the shadow of your beauty.
0:48 Let me see you face to face.
0:51 Just let me hear your finest whispers as you gently call my name.
0:56 And let me see your power and your glory.
0:59 Let me see your spirits flame.
1:02 So let me say how much I love you with all my heart I long for you, for I am caught in
1:09 this passion of knowing this endless love I've found in you.
1:19 So if you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, you're a little bit caught
1:24 off guard by that intro, and I hope that is the case because you might be thinking to
1:28 yourself right now, wow, Kyle, that was beautiful.
1:32 Was that Shakespeare?
1:34 And no, no, it wasn't Shakespeare.
1:36 You know, you might be thinking, wow, Kyle, that that was so moving.
1:40 Did you write that for your wife?
1:42 And I would have to say, unfortunately, no, I did not do that.
1:45 You might even be saying, you know, wow, Kyle, that was so titillating.
1:48 Was that from a romcom?
1:50 Nope.
1:52 Those were just a selection of lyrics from the song.
1:56 Just let me say by Hillsong worship.
2:00 So for today's episode, we're going to talk about something that I've promised that I
2:05 was going to talk about for literally years now.
2:08 Okay.
2:09 I've literally been promising.
2:10 I was going to talk about the subject of contemporary worship music and today is finally
2:14 the day.
2:15 Guys, I think I mentioned on episode like one and four of this podcast.
2:19 I'm talking back in 2017, 2018 that I was going to talk about men, manhood and contemporary
2:26 worship music and how those things are kind of like oil and water.
2:29 But here, I'm finally doing it.
2:31 But before we really get into the meat potatoes of the podcast today, I need to talk a little
2:35 bit about my own personal history with contemporary worship music.
2:39 And guys, there's a lot of ways to describe it categorically.
2:42 Some people just call it contemporary worship music.
2:44 Some people just call it worship music.
2:45 Some call it modern worship music, you know, there's a lot of different ways to describe
2:48 it.
2:49 But for the most part today, I'm going to say contemporary worship music.
2:51 Now for me, my first exposure to any type of, you know, quote, unquote church music was
2:57 being at the church of Christ in Lawton, Oklahoma.
3:00 So my mom was raised kind of the church of Christ sort of a thing wasn't really that
3:05 big of a part of her life or her family's life.
3:07 But that was kind of my first exposure.
3:08 So I would have been in elementary school.
3:09 And if you know anything about the church Christ, I know, especially here in the United
3:12 States is there is no musical accompaniment to them.
3:16 It's just a cappella, it's just voices, the first second and fourth verses, never the
3:21 third verse.
3:22 And that was basically my exposure.
3:24 Then I started going to a Baptist church in junior high school, and they kind of had,
3:28 you know, the typical organ and piano worship service with one guy kind of leading worship
3:34 and, you know, doing the hand signals for music and all that, I'm not really a music
3:37 guy.
3:38 But that was kind of my next exposure to worship music, but then some of the people in there,
3:43 they listened to contemporary worship music, so they were listening to, you know, news
3:46 boys or DC talk or stuff like that.
3:49 And so I kind of got a little exposure to it there.
3:52 And I also remember, and I'll remember this for the rest of my life, Pastor Jamie, a first
3:57 Baptist West when I was in high school, I got saved as a 10th grader.
4:00 But you know, I was part of the youth group and I'm there for Sunday, Sunday morning
4:04 service.
4:05 And I remember when I first started going to that church, the pastor said something along
4:09 the lines of if you don't like worship music, then you better get used to it.
4:15 Because that's all they're going to be singing in heaven.
4:19 And all I can remember thinking is how miserable that sounded, like in my head, it was just
4:26 going to be one long worship service in heaven.
4:29 And I could not fathom having to deal with that for eternity.
4:33 Because to be frank and to be honest, I never really enjoyed the Christian music that I was
4:39 listening to.
4:40 I didn't enjoy the music at the church of Christ really.
4:42 But then as there was more musical accompaniment, like in the Baptist church or even whenever,
4:48 you know, the youth band would play from from here or there, I just didn't really like most
4:52 of the songs.
4:53 There was just something in me that that I couldn't really get into.
4:56 And I know that that's reflective of a lot of guys, but I do want to say a few things
4:59 real quick before we get into the subject matter because it could be potentially offensive
5:02 for for some of you.
5:04 The main reason for this episode today is not to, you know, dog on your taste in music.
5:10 If you just so happen to love the music, they play on K love.
5:13 I'm not dogging on your taste in music.
5:15 Everyone's got their own taste in music.
5:16 Some people are more eclectic.
5:17 Some people stay in their category.
5:19 Some people don't even listen to music.
5:20 So it is what it is.
5:22 Also another main reason is not to critique for the sake of critiquing because I will
5:26 be fairly critical of different things in this podcast today, but I'm not doing it just
5:30 for the sake of critiquing.
5:31 And I'm also not trying to be needlessly offensive.
5:33 I know it's kind of easy to poke fun at people that like things or do things that you're
5:37 not really a fan of.
5:38 That has nothing to do with this episode for today.
5:41 The main reason for this episode is to put forward this message.
5:47 If you don't like contemporary worship music, that's okay.
5:54 That's okay.
5:56 Now that might seem like that's a small or maybe unimportant goal, but really it's not
6:02 because there is this feeling put out there in modern Christian circles that if you don't
6:07 like contemporary worship music that you are somehow the problem.
6:13 So a few years back, a worship leader buddy of mine, he and I are buddies not because of
6:17 worship music, we're just buddies because we're buddies, but he leads worship at a local church
6:21 here.
6:22 And this is a church that would consider themselves to be kind of worship centric.
6:25 A lot of things kind of hinge on their music and it's a more of a, I don't know really
6:31 how they would categorize themselves, so I don't want to, don't want to say something
6:34 that's not true.
6:35 But I remember me and this guy were sitting down and we were kind of having this chat
6:37 about how I'm not really a fan of Christian music, I'm not really a fan of worship music
6:41 especially.
6:42 And he literally told me that I needed to get saved because in his mind, in his artistic,
6:49 you know, worship leader mind, I didn't like people because I didn't like the type of music
6:54 that he and his band made or that similar bands make that I was somehow not saved.
7:01 Now aside from that being highly offensive, I just kind of laughed it off because I'm
7:04 not really a guy that gets offended so easily by stuff like that.
7:07 But you see, there is that attitude in some people that if you don't like music, if you
7:11 don't lift your hands during worship, that something's broken.
7:15 Perhaps you're not even saved because I know that there are a lot of men that do not like
7:19 contemporary music, worship music, okay, but they don't voice that or talk about it because
7:25 of the level of shame that is brought on them when they admit something like that.
7:30 Like it doesn't literally make sense to some people that you can be a Christian and hate
7:34 the music that Christians produce.
7:37 So I honestly believe a large reason why many men avoid going to church at all is because
7:44 they can't stay in the music.
7:45 I think that has a lot to do with it actually.
7:48 There's obviously more reasons that I've talked about that at nausea on this podcast
7:51 and in other episodes.
7:53 But music is something that communicates to the soul and the heart of a person, but many
7:58 men just aren't stirred by the overwhelming majority of contemporary worship music or the
8:03 music that they hear in churches.
8:05 And let me say one thing as well as a little bit of an aside here.
8:08 I don't want it to ever come off like I'm being critical of these worship bands on Sundays
8:14 that are really given at their all.
8:16 For the most part, any church that you go to that has any type of a band or something
8:20 like that, these are volunteers.
8:22 Perhaps the worship leader is paid by the church, but there's a lot of churches that don't
8:26 even pay their worship leader.
8:27 Maybe they give them a little stipend here there, you know, to kind of make it worth
8:30 their time.
8:31 But a lot of these people, they don't make, they don't make really good money.
8:34 The rest of the people in the band, the guitars and the basis and the keyboard player, these
8:37 people are just volunteers.
8:40 And so I think there is kind of this overreaction to worship music where you just start dogging
8:44 every contemporary worship band.
8:46 If they're on the radio and they're touring and making money, I think they're kind of,
8:49 you know, fair game, but you know, I'm not going to be an overly critical of people that
8:52 just give it their all, their, their decent at their instrument and they donate their time
8:56 to their church because I feel like that's valuable.
8:58 But I'm going to talk about a lot of things in this podcast, but I, I'm going to kick
9:01 it off here with the top problems with contemporary worship music and I, and I have eight of them.
9:06 And guys, I had to kind of whittle this list down.
9:08 And so you might be like, good grief, a list of eight.
9:10 That's a huge list, but let's just go and fire up, you know, go in here.
9:13 The top eight problems that I have with contemporary worship music.
9:17 Number one, and these are in no particular order, by the way, number one, this is primarily
9:20 the biggest problem.
9:21 It has become the reason why people go to a particular church or support a particular
9:28 ministry.
9:29 So you think about it.
9:30 It's like, oh, hey, are you a Hillsong person or are you in a elevation person or are you
9:35 a Bethel person, right?
9:37 It's like you're categorically a type of person because of the worship that you listen to.
9:42 Or I don't really go to that church because they play a little bit more Bethel and I'm
9:45 more of an elevation guy, you know, that you kind of hear people say that.
9:48 But also, if you heard some people say this, that and you maybe even heard yourself say
9:53 it, we left that church because the music wasn't very good or it wasn't really our style.
9:58 Right?
9:59 I've said that before, but worship music and the type of music played at the church you
10:04 go to has been the reason why people associate themselves with a particular church feel like
10:08 this problem.
10:09 Another problem, this is number two, it puts the attention on you and not God.
10:15 If you step back and gosh, you guys are going to be doing this a lot after this episode,
10:19 if you step back and just watch the lyrics go by on the screen as you're singing them,
10:25 most of the songs are me centric.
10:29 What God can do for me, how God feels about me, how I'm emoting in this situation.
10:36 They're not about the God of the universe.
10:39 They're not about the Creator.
10:41 And that's a huge problem because we're not the point.
10:45 It's kind of like you've heard some pastors say, if you read the Bible and think it's
10:48 about you, you're missing the point entirely.
10:50 Same thing with worship music.
10:52 Third problem I have with contemporary worship music is it reduces the God of all creation
10:58 to your buddy.
10:59 He's just your buddy.
11:01 Like God is my friend and it's just like, how can we talk about the omniscient, omnipresent,
11:08 omnip everything, God in a way that would reduce him to being our buddy that we would
11:13 just hang out with casually.
11:15 It's inappropriate.
11:17 Another reason, another problem with contemporary worship music is number four.
11:20 It reduces Jesus our Lord and Savior to a boyfriend.
11:25 Yeah, some people just got offended with that one, but again, if you look at the lyrical
11:30 content, just go back to the lyrics I read from the beginning.
11:33 And that sounds like a person singing about the grandeur of God or the totality of the
11:40 grace of Jesus of Jesus Christ.
11:43 No, it's just this cute guy named Jesus who we just love and we just want to embrace him
11:50 and bring him close to our bosoms, right?
11:53 It reduces Jesus to this small thing, small enough for us to understand and roll up in
11:58 our pocket and walk away with, but not big enough to understand who he really is.
12:03 Theologically, another problem with modern or contemporary worship music, number five,
12:09 the Lion of Judah is unmentioned and unmentionable because he is unsafe.
12:15 I mean, funny enough, this morning at church, we did sing a song that talked about the Lion
12:20 of Judah.
12:21 The rest of the content of the song wasn't really that great, but it did talk about the
12:24 Lion of Judah.
12:25 But guys, can you think about the number of times you've heard the Lion of Judah mentioned
12:29 in a worship song versus the Lamb of God?
12:34 And part of the reason why it's not mentioned during the worship and also why your pastor
12:38 doesn't mention it is because the Lion of Judah is kind of scary.
12:41 The Jesus of Revelation is pretty scary.
12:45 He's not as easy to cuddle up with.
12:47 And that's a problem for some of these people.
12:50 The sixth problem I have with contemporary worship music is this.
12:53 It puts an overemphasis on emotions and we'll get more into that in the next section.
12:58 But that's part of the reason why it doesn't really jive with a lot of guys is because
13:00 we don't tend to be overly emotional.
13:02 We're not all out in tune with our emotions, but we're just not emotional.
13:08 The seventh problem with contemporary worship music is that it's just flat out, not good
13:12 musically.
13:13 I mean, if you think about it, most modern worship music is simple.
13:17 It's repetitive.
13:18 It's formulaic.
13:19 Maybe it lets the shift gears a little bit.
13:22 Part of the problem that people have with country music is it's very formulaic.
13:26 You know, what is it, three bars on the truth, you know, that's how many number one hit songs
13:30 have been written like that.
13:31 If you look like at some of the kind of classical country guys, like maybe a Clint Black or
13:36 a George Strait or those types of guys, Johnny Cash even, you know, more outlaw country,
13:41 these types of guys, their songs sounded very much the same.
13:44 They found a formula and they just rinsed and repeated it.
13:47 We see that a lot in modern worship music as well.
13:49 And here's the thing guys is Christians should be able to produce the most impressive music
13:56 considering how they should be able to have a deeper level of the overall grandeur and
14:02 beauty and power of God.
14:04 I've heard that point made before that like, man, if you really understand the face of
14:08 God and the beauty of creation and the craziness of grace for all of our sins, that should open
14:15 you up in a in a way more creative way, but then consistently the best music across the
14:21 board in the open market for the music industry is created by secular people, people that
14:26 wouldn't consider themselves Christ followers.
14:29 And the last problem with modern worship music is it's theologically bankrupt.
14:35 It's just bankrupt.
14:37 There are no theological truths.
14:40 There's no deep level of truth in any of these songs.
14:44 They were made to be catchy.
14:46 They were made to where the chorus would stick in your brain so that when you're skipping
14:50 out of church that day, you're just humming that course, right, you know, singing it
14:53 on the way home or whatever.
14:55 But with a lot of things that I literally just got through talking to a buddy of mine
14:58 who's fairly theologically adept, we were talking about Bethel and we were talking about
15:02 another one.
15:03 Jesus culture or something like that, I wasn't very familiar with it that he mentioned, but
15:07 it's like a lot of times what these people are singing about.
15:11 It's not stuff that you could base in the bot in in the Bible.
15:15 You couldn't trace it back the thoughts to anything inside the Bible.
15:20 And that becomes a large issue, especially when most modern Christians don't read their
15:24 Bibles.
15:25 So when your pastor says something that is theologically incorrect or when the worship
15:29 leader is singing about something that's theologically incorrect and you don't read your Bible and
15:34 you don't hang out with anybody else that reads their Bible, you're going to miss it.
15:38 You're just going to take it and accept what these people are saying.
15:41 So those are the top eight problems that I have with modern worship music and temporary
15:45 worship music, but now I want to shift gears into the top five reasons why contemporary
15:51 worship music is for women and effeminate men.
15:55 So obviously the title of this podcast, that's the title of this podcast.
15:58 It's going to offend a lot of people.
15:59 A lot of people aren't even going to listen to this show.
16:01 They're just going to pass by and assume they know what I meant.
16:03 But I'm going to give you the five reasons why contemporary worship music is for women
16:09 and effeminate men.
16:10 So here we go.
16:11 Women literally consume it way more than men do.
16:17 So I'm going to read an excerpt from a book by David Moreau.
16:20 It's called Why Men Hate Going to Church.
16:22 That's on our 100 books.
16:23 Every modern Christian man should read lists.
16:25 It's on our website.
16:26 Just go to www dot on dot to dot life backslash book list and I'm going to read several excerpts
16:31 from this book today because a lot of my initial thoughts kind of came from David Moreau and
16:35 some of the things that he said in this book that I read, I don't know, probably close
16:38 to 10 years ago now, but let me go and read this to you here.
16:42 Women are more likely to listen to their local Christian radio station.
16:45 Radio listeners in general are the exact replica of a of the population, 51.7% female,
16:52 48.3% male, but Christian AC radio, the format playing on most contemporary Christian music
16:58 stations today draws an audience that's 63% female and 37% male Christian stations garner
17:05 on average 21% more female listeners than do mainstream stations.
17:10 I do not know of any Christian radio station anywhere on Earth that draws as many male
17:15 as female listeners.
17:16 Caleb, America's largest syndicated Christian music radio network, targets its programming
17:21 to at 18 to 45 year old females.
17:24 Two thirds of Caleb's listeners are women.
17:27 In sister service, the upbeat air one also draws twice as many gals as guys Christian
17:33 radio stations around the nation report up to three quarters of their core listeners
17:37 are female.
17:38 Okay.
17:39 So when I say women literally consume it way more than men do, it's because they literally
17:43 consume it way more than men do.
17:45 And part of the thing is, is because it's marketed to them.
17:49 It's made for them and for their sensibilities into their liking.
17:54 And here's the thing.
17:56 Can you really blame these Christian radio stations and Christian bookstores?
18:01 I mean, if most of your buying audience is women, then why not cater to them?
18:06 I mean, can you really blame the churches?
18:09 I mean, if most of your congregation, most of your, you know, plugged in congregation
18:12 are women, why not cater to them?
18:15 I'm not blaming them.
18:16 It's just the reality.
18:18 The overwhelming majority of this music is made for women because it's consumed by them.
18:23 And the second thing I want to talk about here, the second reason why it's for women
18:26 and effeminate men is because of the emphasis is on emotion and feelings.
18:31 So I mentioned this a little bit earlier, but I'm going to pick back up on that same quote
18:34 from why men hate going to church.
18:36 Here we go.
18:37 As the name implies, K loves playlists is heavy on love songs, tunes that express our
18:42 love for God and his love for us.
18:44 Like most Christian music stations, K love shies away from anything edgy or raucous.
18:49 Its on-air slogans are positive, encouraging and safe for the whole family.
18:54 It's not unusual for Caleb to play a heart-tugging testimonial from a listener whose life was deeply
19:00 touched in some way by something she heard on the station.
19:04 The Caleb diss jockeys have created a mythical average listener whom they call Kathy.
19:10 She is a mother in her mid-30s with two kids, a minivan and a mortgage.
19:14 Kathy is very busy driving her kids to soccer practice, piano lessons and youth group.
19:19 As she drives, she listens to Caleb.
19:22 Kathy's name comes up frequently during staff meetings and the DJs make sure their on-air
19:26 antics won't upset or offend her sensibilities.
19:31 So again, Caleb, air one, when you listen to these stations, it's a lot of very emotional
19:38 and emotive music.
19:40 That's something that appeals to a majority female audience.
19:44 Now, there are guys out there, even guys that listen to this podcast, guys that I appreciate
19:47 the listen to this podcast, that in their heart of hearts, they know they're a more
19:50 emotional guy, they're on the more emotional scale.
19:53 They want to talk about their emotions.
19:55 They express their emotions a lot and they're going to have a tendency to want to listen
19:59 to that type of music that tends to be a more effeminate quality, whether it's in a female
20:05 or a male.
20:07 So the third reason why modern worship music, contemporary worship music is for women and
20:12 effeminate men is because it is all lamb and no lion.
20:16 All lamb and no lion.
20:18 Again, I talked about earlier about how there's always mention of the lamb of God in the sermons
20:23 and in the music, but the lion of Judah, it's just like, ooh, it even sounds scarier, but
20:29 men are naturally more drawn to the strength of the lion of Judah than they are to the tenderness
20:36 of the lamb of God.
20:38 And I'd be remiss if I didn't point out something that I pointed out a lot.
20:41 I'm never, whenever I saw an eye, I saw an eye off by saying, you know, keep seeking the
20:44 lion of Judah, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be seeking the lamb of God.
20:49 No, no, no, like don't misunderstand me, but everyone else is covering the lamb of God.
20:54 They got the lamb of God part on lock.
20:57 So I don't need to worry about talking about the lamb of God.
20:59 And I would never diminish the lamb of God in that way by saying you should only focus
21:03 on the lion of Judah.
21:05 The problem is, is when nobody talks about the lion of Judah, somebody has to fill the
21:09 gap.
21:10 So that's what I'm doing.
21:11 That's what this ministry, that's what undaunted life is here for, is to help you
21:14 seek the lion of Judah.
21:16 And I want you to keep seeking the lion of Judah.
21:18 That's why we sign off like that with every episode.
21:21 But again, men are more naturally drawn to strength unless they're an effeminate man and
21:27 then strength actually makes them turn inward.
21:29 So the fourth reason why contemporary worship music is for women and effeminate men is because
21:34 much of the music is written and or performed by effeminate men or by women.
21:41 So here's another excerpt from why men hate going to church.
21:45 As I visit various churches, one constant is the softness many worship leaders bring
21:49 to their ministry, softness in their personalities, their vocabulary, and the way they express
21:54 themselves.
21:55 Spiky hair, skinny jeans, fake plastic glasses, and flat-toed shoes are now standard attire
22:00 among worship leaders.
22:01 What causes this?
22:03 In the Old Testament, priests led worship.
22:05 So you had a diversity of personality types and leadership.
22:08 But today's worship leaders have one thing in common, they're all musicians.
22:13 That means the bulk of our worship pastors are right-brained artistic types.
22:17 They may be feminizing worship just by being themselves.
22:21 So this is another time for me to go back to say, I'm not trying to just needlessly offend
22:25 anybody because we need artists.
22:28 We need right-brained people.
22:29 But his point is not incorrect in that all the people that you see on stage that are male,
22:35 they all tend to be artists because they're musicians, and they were more attracted to
22:40 the artsy side of things that they were more attracted to the guitar and not the football.
22:46 And that doesn't make them bad in any way, shape, or form, it just makes them different.
22:50 But again, I'll read that part again.
22:52 That means the bulk of our worship pastors are right-brained artistic types.
22:55 They may be feminizing worship just by being themselves.
22:59 And so I think it's important for us to look at when we're looking up onto the stage, and
23:03 I recalled it this morning because I knew I was going to be recording this today.
23:07 And I looked at our stage, and there were 11 people, which, you know, that's a little
23:10 sidebar.
23:11 Do you really need that many people?
23:12 Like, do you really need seven people?
23:14 They're people?
23:15 You're not singing a seven-part harmony.
23:16 Not everyone needs a microphone.
23:17 But anyway, there were 11 people on stage, and there was a bunch of women, and the men
23:22 were fairly soft, soft-looking dudes, dudes that you would, you know, want to hold the
23:28 hand of your grandmother if she wasn't feeling well, but you wouldn't necessarily want them
23:31 by your side if you were charging up a hill, right, to go, you know, attack something that
23:35 was going on on the other side, okay?
23:37 But much of the music is written and/or performed by effeminate men or women, so you're obviously
23:42 going to have it bend more towards those people.
23:46 And the fifth and final reason why contemporary worship music is for women and effeminate men
23:50 is because if the lyrical content was actually written with men in mind, then it's homoerotic.
23:59 So let's go back to the stuff I read from the very beginning.
24:02 It's the "Just Let Me Say" by Hillsong.
24:04 Let me read this one section to you.
24:06 So let me say how much I love you with all my heart I long for you, for I am caught in
24:11 this passion of knowing this endless love I've found in you, okay?
24:18 I mean, that's supposed to be us singing to Jesus, right?
24:24 But it just seems like it's two dudes talking to one another and these two dudes may be attracted
24:30 to each other.
24:31 So I'm going to read another expert here from Why Men Hate Going to Church so I think it
24:35 will elucidate the point a little bit further, but here we go.
24:38 Picture two male hunters sitting in a duck blind, shotguns resting on their laps, one
24:43 hunter decides to express his affection for the other using the words of a popular praise
24:47 song.
24:48 He turns to his friend and says, "Hey, buddy, your love is extravagant.
24:53 Your friendship, it is intimate.
24:55 I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace.
24:58 Your fragrance is intoxicating in this secret place."
25:01 That's a song by Darryl Evans called "Your Love Is Extravagant" for those wondering.
25:06 Readers, I cannot imagine saying these words to another man, especially one carrying a
25:10 loaded shotgun.
25:12 Lovey W. Praise songs force a man to express his affection to God using words he would
25:16 never, ever, ever say to another guy.
25:20 Even a guy he loves.
25:22 Even a guy named Jesus.
25:24 The Bible never describes our love for God in such erotic terms.
25:28 The men of Scripture loved God, but they were never desperate for him or in love with him.
25:35 Men are looking for a male leader, not a male lover.
25:41 And so when I see some of this lyrical content at my church, at other churches I've been
25:47 to, certainly at your church, and you read them as if you were reading it to another man,
25:52 it would come off as homoerotic.
25:55 And so a lot of people claim, "Oh, no, no, this song isn't written with women and effeminate
26:00 men in mine.
26:01 It's written for everybody in mine, especially the manly men."
26:03 Well, if so, it's homoerotic, which means it misses the mark just categorically.
26:09 So we've talked about some of the problems with contemporary worship music, the reasons
26:15 why I would say that it is for women and for effeminate men.
26:19 So what can be done about this?
26:21 And so I'm going to make some prescriptions for a couple of different groups here.
26:25 So I have some prescriptions for worship leaders, and then some prescriptions for men that are
26:30 like me, which I would say is the overwhelming majority of this audience.
26:33 So let's start off with the prescriptions for worship leaders.
26:35 And the reason why I'm going to address these people directly is because I know you're
26:38 listening.
26:39 I actually received an email from a worship leader, and it was great because he responded
26:44 to just the overall tone and tenor of what we do here with Undaunted Life, and it started
26:49 affecting what he was doing at his church, which was awesome.
26:52 Okay?
26:53 So here's my prescriptions for worship leaders.
26:55 I have several.
26:56 So first one's here, ask yourself, am I effeminate or am I soft?
27:04 And if the answer to that question or those questions is yes, then fix it.
27:13 Because the worship leader of that church, you are Ergo, a leader of that church.
27:18 And if there are men inside your church, that Ergo makes you a leader of men.
27:23 But men don't typically want to follow a soft effeminate man.
27:29 Men a lot of times also don't want to follow a woman for some of the same reasons, their
27:33 softness and their femininity.
27:36 And so if you find yourself on that spectrum, perhaps you are more right brain, perhaps
27:40 you are more artistic and thank God that he made you that way because we need you.
27:45 We need all kinds of people, but your softness and effeminacy could be a deterrent to your
27:51 ability to lead men and you need to fix it and you can fix it in a lot of different ways.
27:56 You can go to the Jiu Jitsu school, but if you're afraid, you're going to get your fingers
27:59 messed up and you're a guitarist, you can start doing triathlons, you can maybe start
28:03 doing CrossFit, you can, you know, those are all kind of workout examples.
28:07 But you know, try to really rough, make yourself a little rougher around the edges.
28:11 I just, I normally go to Jiu Jitsu because that's one of the easiest ways to create a
28:14 little bit of toughness and resilience.
28:16 Another prescription for worship leaders is this, consider the men, really consider the
28:22 men, consider them in your song selection, consider the men when deciding who you let
28:28 on stage, when deciding how to present yourself on stage.
28:33 So let's go back, let's talk about song selection.
28:35 So that's really something that I got from this worship leader that reached out to his
28:39 via emails.
28:40 He said, after listening to your podcast, I became way more aware of the men in my audience.
28:44 That might be really, really manly.
28:46 And so I try to pick songs that are going to speak to them a little bit more.
28:48 And I'm like, that's, that was just freaking awesome.
28:50 I loved that email.
28:52 I was so glad he sent that to me.
28:54 But then, you know, when deciding who you let on stage, again, there's this tendency by
28:58 worship leaders is they don't want to offend anybody and they don't want to, you know,
29:02 leave anybody out and there's this big stage, so why not add more people?
29:06 But adding three or four women on stage that aren't singing the harmonious parts, whose
29:09 microphones might not even be turned on.
29:12 What is that actually doing for the men?
29:15 And then also how you present yourself on stage.
29:17 Again, I'm not worried as much about what a worship leader wears.
29:21 Like, I know a lot of guys are concerned about, you know, worship leaders, jeans being too
29:25 tight and all that.
29:26 But hey, that's kind of a style thing and I'm not really a stylistic guy.
29:29 You know, I can't really deal with the tightness of jeans because I need my situation to have
29:33 room to operate if you know what I mean.
29:35 But some guys like that, they like tight jeans.
29:37 It's part of their style.
29:38 I don't give a crap.
29:39 But when you present yourself in a certain way, you shouldn't be offended when people
29:43 respond in a certain way to that.
29:45 So consider the men.
29:47 Another prescription for worship leaders is solicit feedback and input from the men in
29:51 your congregation.
29:52 Man, if I were you, if I were bold enough, maybe you'd sang four or five songs and there
29:57 was a whole group of guys in one corner that didn't respond a bit.
30:00 They sat there with their arms closed.
30:02 Maybe they pulled their phone out at some point.
30:03 They never sang a word of what you said.
30:06 Go up to them and ask them for feedback.
30:07 Hey, man, I couldn't help but notice that you and your buddies weren't really singing.
30:13 Was it the music?
30:14 Did you enjoy the music?
30:16 Are you just nervous to sing in front of people?
30:18 See what questions that you might get answered because I honestly think guys are going to
30:23 be able to tell you like, yeah, man, I'm just not really into that and maybe they don't
30:26 even know why because a lot of guys are a little bit shut off emotionally.
30:30 Not everybody.
30:31 That's, you know, we're not a gigantic group, but a lot of them are kind of shut off emotionally.
30:34 They don't realize that they don't like modern worship music because it's so effeminate because
30:38 the lyrical content is so home erotic.
30:40 They can't like figure that out inside their brains.
30:43 Maybe you can help them do that.
30:45 Another prescription for worship leaders is don't be afraid to go aggressive.
30:50 Like and that kind of leads into the next thing, which is don't be afraid of the Psalms.
30:54 Like really don't be afraid to sing the Psalms.
30:57 And I am using the word afraid on purpose because a lot of worship leaders are afraid
31:01 of the words written in the Psalms.
31:04 They're terrified of it because they're more war driven and they're more, you know, emotional
31:09 but in a scary masculine testosterone filled kind of way.
31:14 That's the aggressive part.
31:15 Don't be afraid of that.
31:16 So there's a great excerpt from the book, Future Men by Doug Wilson, which says this.
31:21 The fact that the church has largely abandoned the singing of the Psalms means that the church
31:25 has abandoned a songbook that is thoroughly masculine in its lyrics.
31:30 The writer of most of the Psalms was a warrior and he knew how to fight the Lord's enemies
31:35 in song.
31:37 With regard to the music of our Psalms and hymns, we must return to a world of vigorous
31:42 singing, vibrant anthems, more songs where the tenor carries the melody, open fists,
31:48 and glory.
31:50 Our problem is not that such songs do not exist.
31:53 Our problem is that we have forgotten them and in forgetting them, we are forgetting our
31:57 boys.
31:58 Men need to model such singing for their sons, okay?
32:03 So guys, this is a hard part for me because I got to be honest, like I don't sing at church
32:10 and that is a me problem, okay?
32:13 Because I can say, oh, I got problems with this and, you know, philosophically, I disagree.
32:18 I just can't do it.
32:19 There's something stuck in my brain where it's like, I just can't sing these songs.
32:23 But when they're singing a psalm or even an old hymn, something different happens.
32:30 It's just, I have a different tone and tenor and right now, baby James is eight months old.
32:35 He doesn't really know things.
32:36 He barely knows who mom and dad are, but eventually he's going to be watching dad during church.
32:42 You know, his dad, you know, reading the Bible along with the pastor or is he checking Facebook?
32:47 You know, is dad singing along or is he mentally checked out?
32:50 Why is dad sitting there with his arms crossed?
32:52 I mean, you've seen this in your own families, if not, you've seen it in other families.
32:56 If a dad's kind of a stick in the mud, usually one of his kids is a stick in the mud.
33:00 You know, I've got a family member who won't smile in pictures, will not smile in pictures.
33:05 He's just an absolute turd when it comes to taking pictures with his family.
33:09 And his oldest daughter is that way, amazingly, because she's watched daddy make a big deal
33:14 about not smiling in pictures and basically ruining family pictures for the entire side
33:19 of this family and his daughter won't do it either.
33:22 Because daddy won't do it.
33:23 Why should she have to do it if daddy doesn't do it?
33:26 So I'm going to have to kind of figure out some of that as I move along.
33:28 But to kind of get back into the part about not being afraid to go aggressive or being
33:33 afraid of the Psalms, I think the modern worship band Shane and Shane has blazed a fairly
33:38 unbelievable trail in this area.
33:40 Now they've created a lot of music that would fit into some of the effeminate categories
33:44 that I really talked about earlier.
33:45 But they have two albums called Psalms and Psalms to and Psalms to especially.
33:50 I feel like man, more so than any other strictly contemporary worship type music really, really
33:58 gets the masculine juices flowing, okay?
34:01 The song Psalm 46, which is the first song off the Psalms to track, it's called Lord
34:05 of hosts, man.
34:08 It is such a powerful song and Shane and Shane, it's just two guys named Shane, right?
34:12 So sometimes they have musical accompaniment with like, you know, another guitarist and
34:15 a bassist and a drummer, sometimes it's just those two dudes and a acoustic guitar.
34:19 And I'll include that song for you later so you can check it out.
34:23 But there is a pathway that you can follow if you're willing to go down it, okay?
34:27 So those are the prescriptions again, just for worship leaders, you know, ask yourself,
34:30 am I feminine or am I soft?
34:32 If yes, you need to fix it, consider the men.
34:35 Also solicit feedback from those men in your congregation.
34:37 Don't be afraid to be go aggressive.
34:39 Be afraid of the Psalms and, you know, maybe embrace some of the Psalms that other people
34:43 have done.
34:44 So now I want to go into the part that a lot of you have been waiting for.
34:47 Really, it's the prescriptions for men like me.
34:49 So men like me that don't really categorically like praise and worship music or modern worship
34:54 music or contemporary worship music, whatever you want to call it, okay?
34:57 Let's get in those prescriptions.
34:59 First one here, encourage change in your home church, but don't expect it.
35:05 So you can sit there for years and years and years on end and hate the first 20 minutes
35:10 of every service you ever sit through or you can maybe do something about it.
35:15 Send this episode to the lead pastor of worship at your church, you know, share it around
35:20 with some other people, have a conversation with some of your pastors and express some
35:24 of your concerns about how the music that's being played, if this fits your church, which
35:28 I assume it would, about how feminine it is and how it doesn't really appeal to a manly
35:32 man like you.
35:34 And for, to the men that have that robust sense of, of duty and honor and, you know, testosterone,
35:39 like how it's not really landing with you and how you don't want it to be that way.
35:44 But again, don't expect it to change.
35:47 Typically people that work at these churches, they're not terribly concerned about them
35:50 in.
35:51 They say they are, but then everything that they do is kind of counter to, to what would
35:54 be good for men.
35:55 So you should still encourage them though.
35:58 Another prescription from then like me would be to tell your lead pastor that you will
36:02 have his back if he decides to make his church man friendly.
36:07 So I'm going to go back to the interview that I did with Stephen Mansfield last summer and
36:11 talk about some of the churches that he was affiliated with that he knew of the pastors
36:15 that had made their, their services man friendly, made their churches man friendly.
36:21 And the cool thing that Stephen talked about is that these churches didn't have a men's
36:26 ministry quote unquote, right?
36:27 They didn't have, you know, a men's ministry pastor.
36:30 They didn't have, you know, these events that were specifically for the men's ministry.
36:33 They didn't do the Saturday morning prayer breakfast type thing.
36:36 These are just dudes that created a church that dudes wanted to be at.
36:41 And this one specific church, I think it was in the, in somewhere in Virginia, there were
36:44 a lot of special operations guys that were kind of in that area that were drawn to that
36:50 church.
36:51 Some of the baddest dudes of, and you could use the categories of manhood and they checked
36:55 so many of the manhood boxes.
36:57 They wanted to go to this church because the church was manly the pastors were manly, right?
37:02 That doesn't mean everybody, you know, had neck tattoos and, you know, could bench 315
37:06 for a set of 10 and, you know, drove a big truck.
37:08 Some of those people might have been there, but they were just manly men through and through.
37:12 And so part of the thing is, is a lot of your pastors think that there will be an uprising
37:17 from the women, right?
37:19 If they start to make the church more man friendly, but these man friendly churches, again, going
37:24 back to that conversation with Stephen Mansfield, the women are so excited and so involved and
37:31 so enthralled with their church and with their men.
37:34 It's almost as if that it's a reflection of what should be going on inside of our homes.
37:40 Because if you have a manly God-centered man as the center of the household, the leader
37:45 of the household, the woman is not oppressed.
37:48 The children are not held down.
37:51 Everybody is elevated.
37:52 Everybody is lifted.
37:54 So, tell your pastor that he decides to net up and, you know, reach down the front of
37:57 his pants and realize he still has a pair that you'll have his back, all right?
38:02 Other prescriptions from in like me realize that worship music exists outside of the quote
38:10 contemporary Christian genre, okay?
38:13 So my favorite worship music just so happens to be metal surprise, surprise for the people
38:19 that are used to our normal intro and outro music for 170 plus episodes of this podcast.
38:24 My favorite type of worship music is metal music.
38:28 It goes back to the time when my buddy let me borrow the society's finest album and living
38:34 sacrifice reborn.
38:35 That was the first real Christian underground metal album that I'd ever experienced and
38:40 I loved the music and I loved how aggressive the vocals were even if I had to kind of read
38:45 along with it to understand what was being said.
38:48 It's because of songs like this and I always point people to this song.
38:51 It's the song Devastator by four today.
38:54 So four today is no longer together, but they did leave us several albums to enjoy.
38:58 I'm going to read the entirety of the lyrics to this song Devastator and I'm going to include
39:03 a YouTube video here at the end of the episode so that you can listen to it for yourselves.
39:07 But I want you to compare these lyrics.
39:08 I'm about to read to you to the Hillsong lyrics from earlier.
39:13 See if you can pick up any differences in these songs.
39:15 So here's Devastator by four today.
39:18 Hell, fear me.
39:20 I am the one that will bring you down and when you fall, feel me.
39:25 You'll see my face on the battleground.
39:28 Hell, fear me.
39:29 I am the one that will bring you down and when you fall, feel me.
39:33 You'll see my face on the battleground.
39:37 Let my name be feared at the gates of hell as I exalt the savior, the one that died to
39:43 buy my victory and gave me a new name.
39:46 Let my name be feared at the gates of hell as I exalt the savior in the name of the holy
39:51 one of God.
39:53 I will cast you down at the foot of the cross he hung from.
39:56 I will stand behind my savior as he burns your kingdom down and I will see you on your
40:01 knees before the king of kings.
40:03 You will lose your throne to the chosen ones.
40:06 The chosen ones will rise.
40:09 Tear it to the ground, this is the army we've been waiting for, tear it to the ground.
40:14 We will storm the gates of hell and we will tear it to the ground.
40:18 We will stand behind the one that conquered death, tear it to the ground and we will stand
40:24 when there is nothing left.
40:25 Tear it to the ground, tear it to the ground.
40:29 Justice, justice, justice, God bring justice, justice.
40:34 We will come against the bondage of hell, justice and we will take back what's taken
40:39 from us.
40:40 Justice, this is our right as heirs to dominion.
40:44 God bring justice, this war will end.
40:48 I am the one that will bring you down and when you fall, feel me, you'll see my face
40:53 on the battleground.
40:55 Hell fear me, I am the one that will bring you down.
40:58 And when you fall, feel me, you'll see my face on the battleground.
41:04 Now guys, did you feel a little something?
41:08 When I was reading that, now I don't have the lowest groveliest voice in the world.
41:13 But imagine if Jocko were reading those lyrics and then go listen to the song, you tell me
41:18 that doesn't get you fired up, you tell me that doesn't make the hair on your form, stand
41:23 up a little bit, you're, you're at attention, you know, you're, you're tuned up a little
41:27 bit, your oodle loop is going crazy or you're looking at your situation.
41:31 When's the last time you had that feeling when you're listening to Hillsong?
41:37 You can't conquer the hill listening to that music.
41:42 It's not possible.
41:45 And that's not the only song like that.
41:46 And I'm not going to read any more lyrics to you, but I will kind of give you some more
41:49 another metal band called O-Sleeper.
41:51 They have a song called The Finisher, okay?
41:54 That song is from the perspective of God talking to Satan.
41:58 In the first song of that album, it's kind of Satan talking to God, saying all the things
42:02 he's going to do and how he's weak and how his followers are terrible.
42:06 And this is the last track on the album and it's God's response.
42:10 And he's telling Satan what he's going to do to him.
42:13 And it crescendos at the end by God telling him that while the angels are watching him,
42:19 he was going to cut off Satan's horns.
42:22 I have a tattoo on my right arm and shoulder of this happening.
42:27 I kind of changed a form of a statue that's in Florence of Hercules fighting a centaur
42:32 and it's God chopping off the horns of Satan and Satan's depicted as a winged goat, as
42:38 a behemoth.
42:40 That song really gets me going.
42:42 I mean, the end of that song, every time I've heard it, I've heard it probably hundreds
42:45 of times now, I still get fired up.
42:48 I still get my heart pumping, my heart rate goes up, like I'm ready for war, like not
42:52 really again, guys, I wasn't a soldier, but it's like I feel like that, I get that feeling.
42:56 But also, there's other categories like hip hop, you know, one of my buddies down in
43:01 Lawton, he runs the great 580 down in Lawton, Oklahoma, you know, he's talking about his
43:06 names, Jeff, he's talking about KB and Tripoli and, you know, LaCray before he went woke.
43:11 Like there are different hip hop artists whose lyrical content is more theologically sound
43:16 than some of the stuff you're going to hear from the pulpit.
43:18 Okay.
43:19 So that's kind of a long category to basically talk about how realize that worship music can
43:24 exist outside the contemporary Christian worship like model.
43:28 But the last thing I want to say as a prescription for guys like me is this is remember, it's
43:33 very likely not a you problem, because again, especially the worship leaders, maybe some
43:38 of your friends, people are going to think this is a you problem.
43:41 And it might be a you problem, but it's very likely not.
43:45 I don't think you should be racking your brain and feeling guilty on a regular basis because
43:50 what's being presented to you is so paltry and so poor and not for you.
43:57 So again, to recap the prescriptions I have for men like me is encouraged changing your
44:01 home church.
44:02 But again, don't expect it.
44:03 Tell your lead pastor that you have his back, he decides to make a man friendly church refocus.
44:09 Also realize that worship music exists outside of the contemporary Christian genre.
44:14 And then also just realize that it's very likely not a you problem.
44:18 So as we wrap up today, there's a quote that I found from Douglas bonds, stand fast in the
44:23 way of truth.
44:24 Okay, so let me just read this to you and then we'll get out here men are less interested
44:28 in attending church regularly and even less inclined to commit themselves to ministry
44:32 responsibilities and leadership in the church in part because there is a significant shift
44:37 in how Christians worship relational songs and emotive courses have replaced the strong
44:42 manly hymns that were sung by men and boys and their families in worship for millenniums.
44:48 Instead of stout hymns about battles and triumphant songs about conquering enemies and doctrinal
44:54 poetry calling men to base their lives and deeds on solid biblical foundations, the contemporary
44:59 church seeing superficial songs that make real men feel like they have to act like a
45:04 woman in order to be Christians.
45:07 Young men who grow up under pressure to sing breathy feminine songs in worship will never
45:12 be spiritually intellectually and emotionally capable of godly leadership in their homes
45:18 in Christ church or in the world.
45:22 So guys, I hope this episode has been a blessing to you.
45:24 Make sure you share it around.
45:25 But guys, before we let you go, we are going to do a quick resilience boost.
45:28 As you know, by now we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating manly resilience.
45:32 Specifically, we do that by providing you content like this podcast.
45:34 It helps you forge spiritual mental and physical toughness.
45:37 So here are the resources I've got for you today.
45:39 First is the book that I quoted often in this episode.
45:42 It's called why men hate going to church by David Morrow.
45:44 So it's a link to the article or sorry to the Amazon and so you can go and check that
45:49 out.
45:50 I've got an article from art of manliness.
45:52 So you've heard me talk about the podcast here on this podcast, but they've got some
45:55 great content on their website.
45:57 They've got kind of this really, really long article.
45:59 It's almost like a miniature book called the feminization of Christianity is written by
46:03 the two founders of art of manliness.
46:05 So I would definitely check that out.
46:07 Also I've got a YouTube link for you to the for today song called Devastator and in the
46:12 very next link after that, I've got the lyrics.
46:14 So this is the official video for Devastator, but again, it's more aggressive vocals.
46:19 It's kind of hard to understand the lyrical content.
46:20 If you're not used to listening to that type of music.
46:22 So I've got the lyrics there for you.
46:24 Then I've also got the official video for the finisher by O sleeper and that's the song
46:28 I was talking about where God says he's going to cut off saints horns.
46:30 So you can watch that video and then I've got the lyrics there for you as well in the
46:33 next link.
46:34 And the last link is the YouTube video to Psalm 46, Lord of hosts lyric video.
46:39 This is the Shane and Shane video.
46:40 I believe I gave you the live version if I remember correctly, but guys, this is especially
46:45 for those of you that are in charge of worship music.
46:48 There is music out there that you can train yourself and the rest of your band to learn
46:52 that is going to drive the hearts of men and is going to stir them up so you should check
46:56 it out.
46:57 All right, guys.
46:58 Thanks so much for listening to the podcast.
46:59 I do appreciate it.
47:00 If you would, please subscribe on Apple podcast, iTunes, Spotify, Google podcast or Stitcher
47:03 and refer your friends to listen and share this on social media.
47:06 Guys, if we deserve a five star review, please leave us five stars letting us know why you
47:10 like the content.
47:11 I'm currently booking speaking engagements for all of 2021.
47:14 So if you want me to come speak at your team, at your men's event, at your school, whatever,
47:18 hit me up info at undaunted.life.
47:20 That's I N F O at undaunted.life.
47:23 The website is www dot undaunted.life.
47:25 You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undaunted life or Facebook.com backslash undaunted
47:29 life.
47:30 Check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible app.
47:32 Just search undaunted life under plans.
47:34 And as always, we want to thank the band August Brins read for allowing us to use their entire
47:38 music library for our content.
47:39 The intro out to a track on this podcast is our song defender, which is off their latest
47:43 record entitled guardians.
47:45 The links are in the description.
47:46 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson, remember, keep cultivating manly resilience, keep forging
47:52 spiritual, mental and physical toughness.
47:55 Keep seeking the lion of Judah.
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If you don't like contemporary worship music, that's okay. There is this feeling put out there in modern Christian circles that if you don't like contemporary worship music that you are somehow the problem.
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