← All episodes

149 - The Worst Night Of My Jiu - Jitsu Life

August 27, 2020 36m 26s Full transcript available
149 - The Worst Night Of My Jiu - Jitsu Life
0:00 / 36m 26s
In this episode, I share my recent struggles and triumphs in my jiu-jitsu journey, highlighting the importance of resilience and mental toughness. Life throws challenges our way, but it's how we respond that defines us as men.
Transcript
680 segments
0:00 "We are live from Feddi's house!"
0:02 "Guests are gathering around the TV, even with a big storm outside!"
0:05 "All we worried about the fee!"
0:06 "Nope, they have Xfinity Wi-Fi!"
0:08 "Get reliable fiber-powered gig Wi-Fi with Peacock included to stream the beautiful game this summer."
0:12 "Xfinity, imagine that."
0:13 Restrictions apply new gig internet customers only, actual speeds vary.
0:16 Offer for Peacock Premium with ads currently at $10.99 a month value and limited to Xfinity internet members with newer upgraded gig speed or faster service.
0:21 Activation required to access content.
0:22 Peacock must be activated within first 90 days.
0:24 Management of existing subscriptions may be required to avoid multiple subscriptions and duplicate charges.
0:28 Third party build subscriptions continue until canceled.
0:30 "Lincoln's AI-powered job search can help you find the most relevant roles based on your goals and experience."
0:35 "It cannot help you find something to talk about in the elevator."
0:38 "So, uh, ride any dragons this weekend?"
0:41 "It can help you find your next job just by describing it in your own words."
0:45 "It cannot stop your co-worker from describing their dreams."
0:49 "So I was flying, right?"
0:50 "And while we can't help you advance in the office, Boozeball tournament."
0:53 "Lincoln can help you advance in your career."
0:57 "Lincoln is the network that works for you."
0:59 This is on Daunted Life, a man's podcast.
1:21 I'm your host Kyle Thompson, let's get into it.
1:23 All right, guys, there is a subject matter that we talked about a lot on this podcast.
1:27 It just comes up and it totally comes up because I can help make a point with it.
1:31 But I talk about jujitsu all the time on this podcast and there's a reason for it.
1:35 And guys, we've talked about this a lot and we've done whole episodes on it before.
1:39 So if you go back to episode five, we're almost at episode 150.
1:42 But to episode five of this podcast, it's called Six Months of Jujitsu.
1:46 I kind of go through what it was like, you know, starting my jujitsu journey being six months in
1:51 because you got to think, guys, a lot of guys don't even get to six months.
1:55 I mean, they go to a handful of classes here or there.
1:57 They just figure out it's not for them or it's too hard or whatever.
2:00 And they just don't make it and that's not to pat myself on the back.
2:02 That's just a reality.
2:03 Most guys don't make it past white belt.
2:05 It's just something that you try it and then you kind of move on.
2:07 But also in episode 62 of this podcast, I talk about my experience gaining or earning my blue belt.
2:14 And so that's a process for a lot of folks.
2:16 They don't get to blue belt normally.
2:18 But then the thing about blue belt is a lot of guys, if they get an upper belt,
2:22 that's someone that they get and then, you know, life gets in the way and then maybe they never
2:26 go to purple or brown or black or whatever situation is there.
2:28 But we talk about jujitsu a lot because jujitsu is just such an important thing for men
2:34 because it's one of the ways that you can cultivate physical and mental resilience
2:39 and not really get brain damage.
2:41 So we'll get more into kind of what it's like in terms of how it's important for your life.
2:45 But the thing about it is, is for the last year or so, my jujitsu journey has been really,
2:51 really strange and super interrupted.
2:53 Okay.
2:54 So I had two surgeries in a row.
2:55 So let's go back to kind of middle of last year.
2:58 I had back-to-back surgeries, right?
3:00 And so I kind of planned them out that way.
3:02 So it was like, okay, when I'm, you know, done rehabbing, I'm done rehabbing, right?
3:06 I can get right back into lifting, right back into jujitsu and, you know,
3:10 not be done with it, but just kind of get back on to things.
3:13 And so by the end of last year, I was starting to train regularly again,
3:18 but then we hit, we're hit with COVID.
3:20 And so, you know, February, March of this year, our gym shut down,
3:23 like most gyms, or every gym on the planet.
3:25 And, you know, everyone's trying to figure out what exactly we're going to do.
3:28 So there wasn't really a way to train in a way that was normal, right?
3:31 I got some stuff from BJJ Fanatics.
3:34 And I got John Donner, her had a train, train at home by herself,
3:37 regiment and video that he gave away, which was awesome.
3:40 And it's just, you know, you could kind of piecemeal some stuff together.
3:43 And I knew about some kind of like underground training sessions that were going on,
3:47 but it was just one of those situations where it's like, yeah,
3:49 you should probably just let your body recover or just make sure you stay sharp mentally.
3:52 And then pretty much right after everything started to open back up,
3:55 you know, my wife and I had sweet baby James, right?
3:58 And so when James is here, I'm not going to be one of those guys.
4:00 That's like, all right, yeah, cool.
4:01 I'm going to go ahead and just leave.
4:04 I know the baby's three days old.
4:05 We just got home, but man, I got to go train.
4:07 That's just not really the guy that I'm going to be.
4:09 And then obviously I've detailed to you guys before that he had a lot of health issues,
4:13 some really, really scary health issues early on in the evenings,
4:16 which is when I would normally train.
4:18 That's whenever my wife was under the most amount of strain and stress with him.
4:21 And she needed the most amount of help.
4:23 So I say all that to say that the last year or so,
4:27 I've lost the better part of the last year of training.
4:30 And here's the thing about jujitsu is it's very, very different.
4:34 It's very different than what you would expect.
4:36 Because you'll talk to people that are maybe they used to train for iron man's,
4:40 but it's like, oh, I don't really train that much anymore.
4:42 The big fundamental difference with jujitsu and something like iron man running,
4:48 biking, swimming, that kind of stuff is you don't forget how to do it.
4:52 So let's say you used to train for iron man's and so you could run a marathon, no problem.
4:57 And now you can run 10 miles before you really start getting into a lot of pain or something like that.
5:02 It's not like you forget how to run.
5:04 I mean, you just decide and you swing your arms and you step your feet and then you know,
5:09 you're off, you're running, same thing with biking.
5:10 You don't forget how to ride a bike.
5:12 The thing with jujitsu though, is when you don't do it,
5:14 you lose a lot of the mental sharpness that you need in order to be successful at jujitsu,
5:19 whether you're just training in the room with your teammates or your training to compete or
5:23 whatever the situation is.
5:24 That's essentially a really tough thing for you to overcome when you're not training a lot.
5:29 There are certain things that you don't see.
5:31 There are certain moves that just aren't there in your brain or you're too slow.
5:35 And by the time you think, oh, I should hit this, you know,
5:38 your partner has already gone to another move and now you've got to like kind of reframe everything
5:42 and try to get caught back up.
5:44 That's the thing with jujitsu is when you lose that amount of time and then you get back on the mat,
5:49 you know, you remember some things physically.
5:50 Some things are literally like riding a bike.
5:52 There's certain positions that you like to get to.
5:54 There's certain things that you can do to certain types of people to have certain body types or
5:58 athletic abilities, whatever that is, but at the end of the day, it's not the same.
6:03 You're not as sharp.
6:04 That's why when you have these guys that are world champion level people,
6:07 this is what they do.
6:09 They train multiple times a day and they're running drills and it's just constantly on their mind.
6:14 But when you lose the better part of your training, you're just trying to get the wheels back on.
6:18 You know, I told you guys have a blue belt, but right now I feel like a seven stripe white belt,
6:22 which for those of you guys that do jujitsu, you only get four stripes.
6:24 If you didn't know that, you get four stripes.
6:26 So, you know, I just feel like I'm a super advanced white belt at this point.
6:29 It's almost like the blue belt's embarrassing for me to have.
6:32 But, you know, I'll keep it.
6:33 Don't worry.
6:33 I'll keep working my way towards purple.
6:35 But, you know, it's not a great thing that you lose that amount of time.
6:38 But the thing is, is you have to get back out there.
6:41 You have to get your training back going.
6:43 And whatever consistency you can get, that's what you should do.
6:45 That's why I tell people all the time, like, oh, I'm so busy.
6:48 You know, I can't really do that.
6:49 Well, there's a lot of schools that have six AM classes and middle of the day classes
6:53 and evening classes, there's private classes, you know, mid morning, mid afternoon.
6:57 There's a lot of schools that will kind of acquiesce to your schedule and what can work,
7:01 you know, right now with kind of my schedule and the things that I need to help with,
7:04 it's right in the middle of the day.
7:06 In the middle of the day is the best time for me to train.
7:09 And so I'm hitting like some 11 o'clock classes and some noon classes and stuff like that.
7:13 But anyway, this isn't just about that.
7:15 But I've gotten back into training and there's certain things that you can keep up.
7:18 You can keep your cardio up.
7:19 You can keep your strength up, but you really got to get that mad time.
7:22 Well, on Sunday of this past week, well, you don't know when I'm recording this,
7:26 but about a week ago from the time that I'm recording this, we do this thing with our
7:29 Sunday night foxhole group.
7:30 It's called bull in the ring.
7:32 So when there's a huge thing happening in somebody's life, whether it's maybe they're
7:35 about to have their first kid or a guy that's a leaving town.
7:38 We had a guy that moved to Mexico to become a missionary or if it's your birthday.
7:42 One thing that we do is you have to go a minute with every single guy in the room.
7:46 You have to roll.
7:47 So basically you start out on your feet, but after that first minute is up,
7:51 the next guy just comes right into whatever position the previous guy was in.
7:55 So if you let a guy take side control or take your back or mount or something like that,
8:00 you're going to be stuck there and you have to go a minute with everybody in the room without
8:04 breaks.
8:05 And so the thing about that is it's a tremendously difficult thing for you to do when you're the
8:09 bull in the ring because these guys know they're only going 60 seconds, right?
8:14 And so they're going full bore and you got guys in that group that are really good
8:19 fundamentally, you got guys that aren't good fundamentally, but everyone's varying shapes
8:23 and sizes and decent athletes.
8:25 And it's just a hard night out.
8:27 And so this last Sunday, we celebrated my birthday and I think we had 14 or 15 guys
8:32 that went one right after the other right after the other.
8:34 But it's funny when you walk into a situation like that, I've been training a whole lot
8:40 more than a lot of those guys.
8:41 I thought I was going to be able to handle myself a little bit better,
8:44 but it was just one of those things.
8:45 I was just a step behind or I would get into a certain position and it's like, man, this
8:49 is a little bit uncomfortable.
8:50 I have no idea why you can't shimmy out.
8:52 But again, that's just part of the process.
8:54 It was a really, really fun night got tapped a bunch by some of my closest friends in the
8:58 entire world.
8:59 That's the thing whenever you're done, everybody claps.
9:01 Everybody gives you a big hug and then we move on with training.
9:04 So it was kind of a cool experience, but then fast forward four days.
9:08 And then the situation wasn't nearly as positive.
9:14 I'll put it that way.
9:15 So on Thursday night, I've done the Thursday night class for a long time at the forge
9:19 in Edmond, Oklahoma, but that's comp class.
9:22 Okay.
9:22 So that is where you get the hardest rounds of your week for the most part.
9:26 This is where the people that are training to compete, whether they're doing these one-offs,
9:30 like fight to win, or whether they're doing tournaments like AGF or IBJJF or any of those
9:35 types of tournaments.
9:36 This is where you get that training in.
9:38 This is where you get those hard rounds in with people that are just like you trying
9:41 to compete.
9:42 This is where you're going to get the closest to game day.
9:44 Right.
9:45 But the thing is, is because of what I was telling you earlier, I had missed a lot of comp classes.
9:49 Right.
9:50 But that's the class I want to be at.
9:53 From the very, very beginning, I asked one of our buddies that trains a lot.
9:57 I'm like, hey, what's the hardest class of the week?
9:58 He said Thursday night, so I was like, cool, that's going to be the one that I go to.
10:01 And so it's ebbed and flow.
10:02 There's been some huge classes, some small classes, but it's typically a really, really tough night out.
10:07 So right before comp class, I did the fundamentals class.
10:11 So that's just a good one.
10:12 It's a key class, you know, you got everything from white belt to black belt in there.
10:15 Everyone's just kind of sharpening the sword, doing the basics.
10:17 But then it was no, it was no key comp class, right?
10:21 And so for me, I'm way more comfortable in the key.
10:23 Now I feel like I can slow people down.
10:25 I can kind of get my grips and kind of work it myself into some different positions.
10:29 Whereas no, you know, you don't have any of that.
10:31 You can't grab on.
10:32 It's just you.
10:33 It's a whole lot more technique.
10:34 Now you can explode out some stuff athletically, but it's a little bit different.
10:38 But here's the thing about comp class.
10:40 Typically, when you stop and look around, you can identify hammers and nails.
10:46 And for those of you that grew up wrestling, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
10:50 There are people in the room that are just hammers and they are in search of a nail,
10:54 and there are usually plenty of them.
10:55 Here's the colossal difference about my Thursday, my last Thursday night comp class.
11:01 I looked around the room and I only saw hammers.
11:06 That's it.
11:09 And I'm kind of looking at my left and to my right, I'm seeing the guys that are in there.
11:12 And I'm like, man, these are all really, really good guys.
11:15 And then it occurred to me all at once.
11:16 Oh, I'm the nail.
11:19 I'm the nail tonight.
11:21 Because here was the other unique thing about this particular comp class.
11:25 It was a smaller class, but all of the guys that were in there were at least my size,
11:31 but most of them were bigger.
11:32 And so guys, I'm five foot 10, 195 pounds.
11:35 I'm a decent athlete.
11:36 I'm decently strong.
11:38 You know, I'm not too, I'm not huge, but I'm not small at the same time.
11:40 There were two guys in the class that were about my size and everybody else was more like 215,
11:45 220 or bigger.
11:46 And we were doing rounds.
11:49 You know, we did a little bit of warm up technique and then we just did rounds.
11:52 And we were doing six minute rounds.
11:54 And I think I did, I ended up being seven or eight, six minute rounds with 60 seconds rest in between.
12:00 And guys, your boy got mauled for an hour. And when I say mauled, there are certain guys
12:09 that are really good at jujitsu.
12:10 And they're like, Oh man, I got mauled.
12:12 Meaning that they had some tough matches and some guys got the better of them.
12:15 When I use the term mauled, I mean, I was helpless because you don't use the word,
12:22 you know, mauled when you're talking about a dog, like a dog attack necessarily,
12:27 like that's not something you like a dog doesn't normally maul an adult human,
12:30 but like a grizzly bear.
12:32 They maul you, right?
12:33 You're completely helpless.
12:34 It doesn't matter how many pushups you did that morning,
12:36 how far you can run that grizzly is faster than you.
12:39 He's stronger than you.
12:40 And you're just going to be helpless.
12:41 That was me.
12:42 Last comp class.
12:43 And to make matters worse, one of my one of the few things that I that I do
12:48 pretty good in jujitsu is takedowns.
12:50 It's just something it's about aggression and timing and athleticism.
12:53 And it's just like that's something that I typically am comfortable doing.
12:57 The problem was is in this particular comp class,
13:00 we didn't have the big fan on above us.
13:02 And so the mats were soaked with sweat.
13:05 And so in jujitsu, we don't have wrestling shoes on.
13:08 So it's just your bare feet.
13:10 And you cannot explode off of your feet when the mats are wet like that.
13:13 And so I started to do some of the things that I normally thought that I could do.
13:18 And that was to shoot, but my feet would just slide right out from underneath me.
13:22 And then I would end up in a front headlock, end up in a guillotine.
13:25 And it's like, dang it, like, you're, you're kind of trying to work your way in your brain
13:29 to figuring out, you know, what are the things that I can do to this person?
13:33 And, and maybe how can I bet, bait them to bring their, their leg closer?
13:36 So I don't have to like shoot and, you know, slip inside or whatever the situation was.
13:39 But guys, I'm not even fully convinced that if the mat was completely,
13:43 completely pristine and dry and I had grip on my feet or wrestling shoes or whatever,
13:49 I don't know that it would have been fundamentally different.
13:52 Because what ended up happening is round after round after round.
13:56 I went with guys that were physically superior to me, mentally superior to me,
14:03 and could do whatever they wanted at any point,
14:06 which is a horrible feeling when you're a guy like me.
14:11 And a lot of you guys out there that even just made you,
14:13 ooh, it just kind of made you feel uncomfortable just hearing me describe that.
14:16 Because part of the reason why I do jujitsu is so that I can't be controlled by somebody physically.
14:22 Now, the odds of you running into somebody on the street that is like one of my buddies
14:26 that I train with on Thursday is not very likely.
14:29 These are all like brown and black belt level no-ge type guys, super technical, super strong.
14:33 But I think around the fourth or fifth round in a row, I start realizing that this is bad
14:42 and it's only going to get worse and there's still time on the clock for this class.
14:45 And I'm trying to figure out what, okay, so what's the game within the game?
14:49 Because I can't win this match, right?
14:51 You know, it's just training, but you're keeping score in your head
14:53 and you're trying to figure out kind of where you're at with this person.
14:56 There's nothing, right?
14:58 I didn't score as many points as guys got submissions on me.
15:02 Like just an absolute complete mauling.
15:05 And at different points, I just got to be honest with you.
15:07 I'm like, what am I doing here?
15:09 Exactly.
15:10 Like, I'm a punching bag for these guys because you can tell when a guy's going really hard
15:16 and he's having to put in a lot of effort.
15:17 These guys weren't even having to do that.
15:19 They were very calm and in control the entire time.
15:23 They knew what I was about to do before I would do it and they would take advantage
15:27 and they would get the submission.
15:29 Now, again, we're teammates, so these guys aren't trying to hurt you,
15:31 but at the same time, it's like, there's only so many times you can get your net cranked on
15:35 and your knee, you know, in a knee bar or an ankle locker or an arm lock to where you're just like,
15:39 okay, this is, this is getting diminishing levels of return for me.
15:44 I'm only here potentially getting hurt, but you know what?
15:47 You suck it up, you do the rest of the rounds, the nights over,
15:52 you change your clothes, you slap hands with everybody, and then you walk out the door.
15:55 But when I walked out the door that night, there was a little internal dialogue
16:01 that I had with myself in the 20 feet or so before I got to my truck.
16:05 And it was, man, I feel like I've got two choices here now.
16:12 Choice one, make that the final jujitsu practice of my life.
16:17 Or choice number two, get back in there as quickly as possible and train again.
16:24 And guys, this is not going to come as a Supreme Shock to most of you.
16:29 I obviously immediately decided that the latter was the most appropriate thing to do
16:34 because here's the thing, jujitsu's hard and it doesn't really get easier
16:41 because jujitsu is a game that's constantly evolving.
16:45 And so even black belts, even professor level black belts that can, you know,
16:49 promote other black belts, there's always something you don't know.
16:52 There's always some pocket of the world where they're working on this specific
16:56 technique that just changes everything.
16:57 I mean, just guys, let me just take a slight divergence to MMA real quick.
17:00 The low calf kick, you know, the low calf kick in MMA,
17:04 that is like a center point for a lot of fights now.
17:07 Like you're basically taking the spring out of the person's lead leg.
17:11 That has not been around for forever.
17:13 The first guy I can remember doing that was Benson Henderson.
17:15 And that was a long time ago.
17:16 That was in his UFC days, not even in Bellator.
17:19 But that is something that is completely revolutionized.
17:22 A lot of fights, including championship fights, right?
17:24 The same thing happens in jujitsu.
17:26 You got, you know, the Donna, her death squad.
17:28 And you got Gordon Ryan figuring certain things out.
17:30 And then you got Seanji.
17:31 And you got, you know, you know, 10th planet.
17:33 And you got all these different groups and Atos and in these different schools
17:37 that are just doing things in a unique way.
17:39 Jujitsu is always evolving and expanding.
17:41 But at some point, you're going to have that internal dialogue with yourself.
17:47 Like, is this worth it?
17:48 Is it worth it to continue coming in here and to continue,
17:53 continue getting rolled up and beaten up by your friends?
17:55 Is it worth it to spend 60 bucks or 70 bucks and, you know,
17:59 put your name into the hat at a tournament just to go out there
18:02 and get embarrassed in the first 60 seconds?
18:04 Is it worth it?
18:05 And guys, this is kind of the point of the podcast for today.
18:09 It's going to be a little bit of a shorter episode.
18:10 But jujitsu is like life in a lot of ways.
18:15 And, you know, you've heard people say that about a million different things.
18:18 Oh, this is just like life or that is just like life.
18:20 But jujitsu really is.
18:22 Because when you come in on the first day, you will not be successful.
18:26 Like, this isn't an accidental sport.
18:29 I mean, there are guys reasonably that have never swung a baseball bat in their life.
18:34 And if I put them in a batting cage, put a helmet on them and put a bat in their hands,
18:38 they might start being able to make pretty good contact at a certain point.
18:41 Some people are just wired for that.
18:42 Same thing.
18:43 If you want to use an MMA example, and you've heard people talk about this.
18:46 You know, Joe Rogan's talk about this a lot, but boxing,
18:48 you can take a guy off the street that has never been taught how to punch.
18:52 But we instinctively as humans know how to punch.
18:55 So you, you'd be reasonable to assume that you could get that guy in a sparring match
18:59 immediately with somebody and he could, he could certainly get lucky.
19:03 He could punch where the guy's head is.
19:05 And you know, the guy doesn't move his head and he hits him right on the button and then he goes down.
19:09 That doesn't happen in Jiu Jitsu.
19:10 You're not going to accidentally triangle somebody.
19:14 You're not going to accidentally armbar somebody.
19:16 You're not going to accidentally choke someone unconscious.
19:19 Like, these are just not things that happen when, when you're doing this.
19:23 So when you get into Jiu Jitsu, you know, you are who you are athletically.
19:27 You are who you are physically.
19:29 You are who you are mentally.
19:30 And you're a no stripe white belt.
19:34 And some guys are in gals.
19:36 They, they ascend faster because either they train more or they get it faster or whatever the
19:42 situation is there, but you have to start at the bottom.
19:45 So think about all the different scenarios in life that are just like that.
19:50 You know, you start at the bottom at a new job, right?
19:54 And you think you're better than you are, but at the same time you come in there and you're like,
19:58 man, these, these people really do know more than I do.
20:00 I should probably just hush up and listen.
20:03 You know, whenever you marry somebody and then you're the new guy in the family.
20:07 I mean, if you come in and you're bombastic and cocky at the first Thanksgiving dinner table,
20:12 it's like, eh, I don't know that's the best thing for you.
20:14 You should probably just hush up and learn the room.
20:16 You know, learn what needs to happen.
20:19 Jiu Jitsu is a whole lot like life, but in the biggest way possible,
20:23 Jiu Jitsu is about taking care of your ego and then taking care of your mind.
20:29 So the ego is something a little bit different because you might think ego and mind are very
20:33 similar, but the ego is the big one.
20:35 Because like I've told you before, we've got guys that come into our gym and they're athletic.
20:40 You know, maybe they played, you know, college football or maybe they're, you know,
20:43 they're a gym rat and they're just swelled out of their brain.
20:45 I mean, they're just physically imposing people and then they come in and they do
20:49 one Jiu Jitsu practice in the G and they just get rolled up for an hour.
20:52 And they haven't experienced that in a while.
20:56 These are guys that have been superior athletes in whatever setting that they
21:00 decided to join for basically their entire lives, at least for their recent past.
21:05 And now all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm completely terrible at this.
21:09 And there's not really much that I can do about it.
21:11 And most guys don't like that.
21:14 They're like, no, no, I think I'm gonna go play golf.
21:16 I'm a thing I'm gonna go back to the gym.
21:18 You know, I'm gonna go pump some iron, do something that I'm used to,
21:21 something that I'm good at.
21:22 And even this morning in Sunday school, the guy that taught her Sunday school class,
21:24 most men are like that.
21:26 They'd like to be on the island by themselves doing the things that they can master.
21:30 So they're not playing the new video game.
21:32 They're playing the old one that they're really good at.
21:35 They're not doing the new job.
21:36 They're going to stick in the old job that they kind of got some respect.
21:39 And they got a bunch of people that look up to them.
21:40 They're not going to do the new sport or the new physical activity,
21:45 because they're like, hey, I got these other ones dialed in.
21:47 And basically when a guy gets to that position, they stop developing.
21:50 You know, I even mentioned this in Sunday school this morning.
21:53 It's like guys, you should always look back on who you were five years ago
21:58 and be at least somewhat embarrassed, at least somewhat.
22:01 Because the thing is, is if you look back on who you were five years ago,
22:05 so that would, you know, be the 29 year old version of myself,
22:08 there were things that I said and did and thought and acted upon
22:12 that are appalling to me now.
22:14 Like what a moron.
22:16 Why would you ever do that?
22:18 Why would you think such a thing?
22:20 But for most guys, you look back on who you were five years ago.
22:23 You don't see very many fundamental differences.
22:25 You have a few more wrinkles in your forehead and a few more gray hairs in your beard.
22:29 But at the end of the day, you're the same guy.
22:31 The same guy mentally, probably the same guy physically or worse.
22:36 You should always look back and be a little bit embarrassed.
22:39 But that's the thing about your jizzos.
22:41 If you keep coming, pretty much the only option is getting better.
22:46 Because you got caught in that triangle last week, but this week,
22:50 you know, it's coming when he puts his foot in this spot on your hip,
22:54 and he puts his hand in this spot on your collar.
22:56 You know what the next step is.
22:58 So you can start to defend.
23:00 Oh, but then, you know, he was going to do that.
23:02 But now he's transitioned to the arm lock.
23:03 Oh, gosh, you know, he got you in an arm bar.
23:05 Dang it.
23:06 Well, now you're starting to piece some things together.
23:08 And isn't that like life?
23:13 You learn certain things as you go that you couldn't have known up front.
23:17 But now you are responsible to those things that you have learned.
23:22 Because it's absurd for you to learn how to do things better
23:26 and choose to do them the old way, which is not as good or that led to failure.
23:30 The same is true here.
23:32 That's why you constantly put the reps in.
23:35 And the ego side of it, I think I lost my point there for a little bit.
23:40 You got the ego side, which is you're literally never going to get to a spot
23:45 where there's not somebody that can beat you.
23:47 I mean, there's, there's, I can count on one hand the number of guys
23:51 that aren't really concerned about being beaten in jujitsu, right?
23:54 And I'm probably being generous using all five fingers, right?
23:57 There's just guys that they're just untouchable.
23:59 And then there's everybody else, the millions about other people that do jujitsu.
24:03 But it is a constant ego trip because the moment you think, man,
24:07 I'm stronger than I've ever been.
24:08 My cardio is great.
24:09 You have a night like I did on Thursday night and you come right back down to where you should be.
24:14 And the other side is mental because as I'm walking out of jujitsu on Thursday night,
24:22 feeling the way that I feel and I mean physically, right?
24:24 Not like emotionally, but feeling physically like I felt.
24:28 Neck was sore, body was sore.
24:29 I'm like, I'm going to be paying for this for a few days.
24:32 You have that mental battle and that's your biggest opportunity to cultivate mental resilience.
24:39 Because it's so easy to cultivate mental resilience when you're doing things that you're good at.
24:45 As we just talked about it, the guy on the island by himself,
24:48 you're used to being that guy at work.
24:50 You're used to being that guy on the intramural basketball team.
24:53 You're used to being that guy in the Sunday school class.
24:56 It's always saying the really cool quotes or whatever your situation is.
24:59 But it's when you step outside of that.
25:01 That's when you grow.
25:04 That's when you can actually break yourself onto the rocks of some sort of ideology or
25:10 philosophy or way of operating that you didn't even know existed before because you were just
25:15 chilling on the boat.
25:15 And it's that mental side that I'm so thankful that I get doses of every single week.
25:23 Because guys, you're going to have moments in your life where training is really easy and the
25:28 kids are out of the house and your wife's not breathing down your neck and you can go train
25:31 a bunch. I know a buddy of mine, both of his kids are in college.
25:34 And so he literally trains to Jiu Jitsu every single night.
25:37 And it shows that the dude's absolutely awesome.
25:39 And he's just a physical freak.
25:41 But then there are times whenever your baby's sick, things are rough at home.
25:46 Things are rough with the business or the job or with the kids.
25:51 And you've got to spend some time homebound.
25:53 But Jiu Jitsu's always going to be there.
25:55 I sent some messages to some of my coaches, some of my closest coaches,
26:00 just basically telling them like, hey, guys, just a reminder.
26:02 Like, I haven't forgotten about Jiu Jitsu because I obviously knew I had been gone for
26:08 a while with the surgeries and with, you know, COVID and with different things.
26:11 And it's just like, it's kind of you get used to people not being there.
26:14 But there are people that just fade away and they fade away for nefarious reasons.
26:17 They had a bad practice, had a bad tournament.
26:19 They just decide they're not going to do this anymore.
26:21 But I just let them guys know.
26:22 I'm like, dude, I'm as dedicated as ever to Jiu Jitsu.
26:25 It's just the physicality of me physically being able to be present in the room.
26:30 I'm in a weird season.
26:31 And all of them basically gave me the same response, which was, hey, man, all good.
26:34 Jiu Jitsu will be here when you get back.
26:35 Everybody has their ebbs and flows with life.
26:37 And we're ready for you when you ramp things back up, which is the exact right response.
26:41 But again, Jiu Jitsu takes care of the ego and it takes care of the mental side.
26:44 And the mental side is always that ability to get up and get back in there.
26:48 And here's one actual tip to people that are training Jiu Jitsu.
26:52 And then I'll make my plea for those that aren't training and then we'll get out of here.
26:55 For those of you that are training Jiu Jitsu and you're like me, right?
27:00 You're not that good.
27:01 You know, you're early in your Jiu Jitsu career.
27:04 You know, you're just don't know a lot of things.
27:06 When a guy comes in there that's physically about the same as you,
27:09 but it's been training for a little bit longer and you're going to get work.
27:11 Here's my message to you.
27:12 Always get up before they do.
27:18 So I look back on my Thursday night and in terms of the roles that I was having with these guys,
27:24 there wasn't a whole lot to write home about.
27:26 There wasn't a whole lot of good that happened in these roles.
27:28 But after every single submission, whether it was a triangle or a guillotine or an anaconda
27:36 or any of the myriad of boxes that these guys checked off on me on that night,
27:40 I always got up before they did.
27:41 And there's no victory in that when it comes to Jiu Jitsu.
27:46 You don't get points for getting up quicker than the other guy after you've been submitted.
27:50 The match is over.
27:51 But in those scenarios, that was something that I could control.
27:55 And it was almost a nonverbal message to a teammate of mine that I respect
28:00 and that I love and that we're iron sharpening iron in that moment and sat,
28:04 "Hey, I'm still here."
28:05 And for some of you might think, "Well, that's kind of dumb.
28:08 What are you, a glutton for punishment?"
28:10 Maybe.
28:10 Perhaps that's right.
28:11 But I did the same thing the night when I got my blue belt.
28:14 I mean, the night you get your blue belt,
28:16 or the night you get promoted, that's not a night for you to shine.
28:19 That's a night for you to get beaten down.
28:20 And there's a lot of guys in the room to make sure of that,
28:22 to ensure that that happens to you in the worst and most embarrassing way possible.
28:27 But you need to control the controllables, right?
28:30 You know, going back to my podcast I did with Hard L. Moore,
28:33 you know, longtime wrestling coach and really good amateur wrestler.
28:37 But control the controllables.
28:39 I could control getting up before they did.
28:42 Not sitting on the mat and taking some deep breaths and sulking and like,
28:48 "Oh man, I got tapped again."
28:50 And then get up and kind of drag yourself over, you know,
28:52 slap bump and then okay, let's do it again.
28:55 No, I got tapped.
28:57 I got up before you and I got my hand out waiting on you.
29:00 Let's do it again.
29:01 So for those of you guys that, you know,
29:05 if you're still listening to this a half hour in and this doesn't even land with you,
29:10 you know, what's Jiu Jitsu, why should you do that?
29:13 Isn't that just like karate or if you're one of those types of people,
29:16 you know, I can't convince you otherwise at the moment as to the fundamental differences
29:20 between those two particular martial arts.
29:22 I would just ask you to, you know, look at MMA and see how many people are doing karate
29:25 versus how many people are doing Jiu Jitsu.
29:27 But beyond that, what are you waiting for?
29:30 Why haven't you started training?
29:34 Because guys, I know a lot of you on this podcast,
29:39 a lot of you like your video games.
29:40 You like your fantasy football.
29:42 You know, you like sports betting.
29:44 You like golfing.
29:46 You like, you like all these things that I'll admit at different times and places in my life
29:51 have been entertaining, right?
29:52 But are those things making you better or are they just leisure activities?
29:57 Again, I know I talk about golf a lot, but it's like,
30:00 it's just not something that I find terribly entertaining.
30:03 You know, there's nothing really fun about it for me.
30:05 I'm just wired a little bit different.
30:06 If golf's your thing, hey, man, I'm not hating on it.
30:08 Enjoy yourself, you know, make sure that you don't, you know,
30:11 lose your marriage or lose your family because you're spending, you know,
30:13 three or four times a week, you're going and playing 18 holes with your friends.
30:17 But that's not making you better physically or mentally.
30:23 It's just not.
30:26 It's not allowing you the opportunity to cultivate resilience in those ways.
30:32 And so I talk to guys a lot, you know, I'll get people that reach out to me,
30:36 either in person or on Instagram or through email.
30:39 Like, man, I'm really trying to cultivate physical resilience.
30:41 What should I do?
30:42 And then I tell them, and then they don't do it.
30:46 And the thing is, is they're not responsible to, to me or they're not,
30:51 you know, beholden to me to do the things that I say.
30:54 But when you come to somebody and you ask them for advice,
30:56 and then you don't take it, what does that say about you?
30:58 The number of guys, I've talked about this a lot,
31:01 the number of guys that I've invited to come to jujitsu,
31:03 especially just Sunday night, which is about as good a place of entry as any, right?
31:08 You know, we're a glorified book club and, you know, we train a little bit,
31:11 and then we do a little bit of jujitsu or striking,
31:14 and then everybody goes home in one piece.
31:15 It's, it's not super serious.
31:18 No one's in there thinking that they're, you know, going to be competing for,
31:21 you know, at, you know, Abu Dhabi at ADCC.
31:23 They're, they're, they're just not thinking that way.
31:25 It's just, hey, everybody wants to have a good time and move around a little bit.
31:28 And I invite guys, and they just, they never even think to show up.
31:33 And it's all the excuses that you normally get from someone like that.
31:35 But at the end of the day, they think it's going to be too hard.
31:38 And just that thought alone keeps them from walking in the door for the first time.
31:43 So a quick story about a guy in my sentence,
31:46 when he came in, uh, is, I'll leave his name out, but he came in,
31:49 and visited last week and we started talking about, you know, jujitsu,
31:53 we started talking about our Sunday night group, our foxhole group.
31:56 And this guy said, all right, I'm going to be there.
31:58 And this guy is very out of shape.
32:00 And, you know, this is a guy that admittedly, he's like, hey, I haven't worked out or
32:03 I haven't done anything in a year.
32:05 And, and it showed.
32:06 And this is a guy that, you know, really is, was going to struggle that first night.
32:09 But before he even got in there, I said, hey, man,
32:11 the first night isn't that hard.
32:14 It's way harder showing up the next week.
32:17 That, that's when it's hard.
32:18 But if you can show up that third week in a row, you're in, you're in.
32:27 Because that first night it's terrible. You were going to be so sore that week,
32:31 you can't even fathom how bad it's going to be for you, right?
32:34 But then you show up for week two.
32:36 And, and that's going to be bad again.
32:40 But if you hit that third week in a row, you're in.
32:42 So for those of you guys that are on the precipice, you know,
32:46 you've heard Jocko talk about it and you've heard Joe Rogan talk about and you've heard,
32:49 you know, it talked about on, you know, you're watching UFC or Bellator or one championship,
32:53 or you've heard me talk about it and you're like, man, I really want to try this.
32:55 And I just don't really know what's it going to be like, make the move and do it.
32:59 Almost every single person listening to this has a jujitsu academy within 30 minutes of their
33:04 house within 30 minutes where you're listening to this right now.
33:08 And it may not be a world class facility, right?
33:10 We don't all live in San Diego or Rio de Janeiro, you know, that's just not realistic.
33:16 But I got an amazing school here in central Oklahoma.
33:20 And we got a bunch of dudes that have long jujitsu pedigrees and judo pedigrees and wrestling
33:26 pedigrees. And we've got a nice little gathering of some real killers at my school.
33:30 And it's awesome. Go and try it, guys.
33:33 I'm telling you, it's one of those things you may not, it may not run your life.
33:39 You may not become obsessed with it, but it will 100% make you better.
33:43 And I got to go ahead and wrap up this podcast.
33:46 Why? Because I got to go train you Jitsu.
33:49 All right, guys, before we let you go, we are going to do a quick resilience boost.
33:52 As you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating mainly resilience.
33:56 Specifically, we do that by providing you content that helps you forge spiritual
33:59 mental and physical toughness. So for today, I got three doses of jocko for you.
34:03 So we got some jocko willing videos, but these are all videos where he's talking about jujitsu.
34:07 Okay. So the first one is him giving kind of generic jujitsu advice to people that are like,
34:11 hey, how do you change through injuries and how do you deal with the ego and when should you go
34:15 hard, especially in training with your with your teammates? The next video is just basically how
34:19 to get better at jujitsu. So this is for people that have maybe done this for a while. But the
34:22 last one is good for you people that are right on the precipice, right? You're just thinking about
34:26 doing this or maybe you're a week or two or a month or two into your jujitsu journey.
34:30 This is a video called overcoming frustrations when starting jujitsu. So jocko willing has been
34:35 a black belt for, you know, I don't know, 10, 20 years at this point, like the guy knows about
34:40 what it's like. He's a little bit extended away and removed from the beginning days of jujitsu,
34:45 but he's at a gym where there's guys that are just starting all the time. So I think those
34:49 will be great assets for you guys to watch. All right, guys, thanks so much for listening to this
34:52 episode. We really do appreciate it. If you would, please subscribe on Apple podcast, Itoon Spotify,
34:57 Google podcast or Stitcher and refer your friends to listen and make sure you share this on social
35:00 media. Guys, if we deserve a five star view, please leave us five stars and let us know why you like
35:06 the content. All right, I'm currently booking speaking engagements for the remainder of 2020
35:09 and the beginning of 2021. So if you want me to come speak to your team at your business,
35:13 at your men's event, hit me up info at undaunted.life, the emails, I N F O at undaunted.life. The website
35:20 is www dot undonton.life. You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undaunted life or facebook.com
35:25 backslash undonton life. Check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible app. Just search undaunted
35:30 life under plans. And as always, we want to thank the band August Burns read for allowing us to use
35:34 their entire music library for our content. The interacho track on this podcast is our song
35:39 to fender, which is off their latest record entitled guardians. The links are in the description.
35:43 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep cultivating mainly resilience. Keep forging spiritual,
35:50 mental and physical toughness. Keep seeking the lion of Judah.
36:09 [Music]
Key quotes
2
Kyle Thompson
Jiu-jitsu is hard and it doesn't really get easier because jiu-jitsu is a game that's constantly evolving.
Kyle Thompson
You have to get back out there. You have to get your training back going.
Free Resource
31-Day Resilience Reset
If this episode hit, the next 31 days will be the reset. Free PDF, instant download.
START FREE →
Brotherhood
Apply to Dominion
Six pillars. Application only. The men's program Kyle built around the show.
APPLY NOW →
Dig Deeper
Ask the Archive
"Which episodes cover this topic?" Get answers grounded in all 940+ episodes.
START A CHAT →