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117 – The Curious Case Of Mourning A Legend

January 28, 2020 35m 50s Full transcript available
117 – The Curious Case Of Mourning A Legend
0:00 / 35m 50s
In this episode, I reflect on the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and the profound impact it has had on countless lives. We dive deep into the questions surrounding grief, celebrity death, and the legacy we leave behind.
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0:37 This is a Donut Life Man's podcast. I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Let's get into it.
0:43 On Sunday, January 26th of 2020, just before 10 a.m. Pacific time here in the United States,
0:49 a helicopter crashed in Calabasas, California, killing a celebrity, a celebrity's daughter,
0:56 and seven, I guess we can call them regular people. So the victims by name, I guess I can start with
1:01 the victims that you likely don't know. And that's John Altobelli, 56, his wife Carrie, Altobelli,
1:09 at 46, and his daughter, Alyssa Atabelli, age 13. There was also Christina Mauser, age 38,
1:17 Ara Zobian, age 50, and Sarah Chester, 45, and her daughter, Peyton Chester, 13. The victims that
1:25 you'll likely know and that the entire world has not been able to stop talking about is Kobe Bryant
1:30 died at the age of 41 in his daughter, John A. Bryant, age 13. So here's the thing about this
1:38 news whenever it came down. So Sunday morning, whenever I woke up, I woke up getting ready to go
1:43 church. I had a late night the night before I was on the road. And so whenever I got back,
1:47 the moment I woke up, I just didn't feel right for whatever reason. And some of you guys that
1:51 listened to this podcast were around me that day. It was just one of those days where I probably
1:55 should have just stayed home. But I went out and did, you went to church and, you know, went and
1:59 trained and all that. But it was just just a weird day. So I get home from church. And I'm just like,
2:04 I got to go lay down. I just got to go do something else. Like maybe I can reset. And so I lay down
2:09 and I wake up like two hours later. So I mean, I, this was not like a power nap. This was a full
2:13 long deal. And I wake up and I do, you know, what's kind of a bad habit for me, which is right when
2:18 I wake up, I lean over, grab my phone and start scrolling and see what happened. And I just couldn't
2:23 have prepared myself for what I saw. I mean, just text after text after text, after text,
2:27 news, breaking news, breaking news, you know, all over the place. And it was about the death of
2:32 Kobe Bryant and that he had died in a helicopter crash. And by the time that I'm reading all this,
2:38 I'm, you know, kind of getting the junk out of my eyes. And I'm trying to like figure this out. And
2:42 so I immediately run in the living room, I turn on a television, try to get on a news channel or
2:46 on ESPN. And at this time, we're still in the middle of people saying that, Hey, Rick Fox has
2:50 died. And you know, all of Kobe's daughters were on the helicopter with him. And they're all dead.
2:55 And then all the different things, there were only them on the helicopter. There were a lot of
2:58 people in the helicopter. It was just still in this deluge of craziness. But the one thing
3:03 remained the same, which is that the legend, the icon of the game of basketball, and you know, he
3:08 was transitioning to be an icon of much other many other things, Kobe Bryant had passed away.
3:12 And what we can only consider to be a tragic accident with the helicopter. And where I sit right
3:17 now, the Tuesday after recording this, we don't know exactly what happened with the helicopter. We
3:22 do know that local authorities that had helicopters that day, they said it was that it was too foggy.
3:27 The conditions weren't good to have their helicopters in the air. And so they didn't
3:30 have any helicopters in the air. But you know, that that was the news. And to be honest with you,
3:35 the reactions from the world have been constant. Here I am too on Tuesday. And as I'm scrolling
3:40 through Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, we're still at maybe 50% or more of the posts are about
3:46 Kobe Bryant. This is just, we're getting reactions from all other places. I was going to kind of
3:51 gather some different reactions from different places. But it would have literally been impossible,
3:55 guys. I mean, you've seen it. I mean, you exist in the world. You've obviously seen it from your
3:59 personal Facebook pages to the pages of other people. But the thing that's so interesting about
4:04 this is it doesn't seem to have an end. It's not just sports people talking about this,
4:08 not just basketball people, right? I mean, we've had current presidents, former presidents, we've had,
4:13 you know, a list academy award winning celebrities, we've had dignitaries from other countries,
4:18 we've had every different pocket of life that you can possibly think of tech books, you know,
4:23 podcasts, whatever, they're all kind of giving their, their thoughts on this, this tragedy and this
4:29 death. Yeah, people that knew Kobe Bryant well, that knew his daughter, Gianna, who they call Gigi.
4:34 And then we start hearing about the other victims and those types of things. And it's just,
4:38 the reactions are just still unfolding. And it's kind of one of those things where you just,
4:42 you're not really sure where it's going to end. And if it will ever end, surely we will all get
4:46 on with our lives. I mean, even after 9/11, it took us a while, but we all kind of get on
4:50 with things to a certain degree, but we kind of come to a point of remembrance at different points.
4:55 But I think the thing that is interesting, there's a lot of things that are interesting
4:58 here, but I feel like I maybe miscalculated Kobe Bryant's influence. And that has a lot to do with
5:05 the number of people, the sheer number of people that went to social media or had their lawyers
5:10 release a statement, whatever the situation was, I just didn't, I guess really realized he was that
5:15 far reaching. I knew he was a global icon. Obviously, I'm an NBA fan. I followed his career, but I just
5:21 guess I didn't know it was that big. And the other thing I feel like I miscalculated was just
5:27 him as an impactful person, right? You know, I've got a lot of friends
5:32 that have grown up Kobe Bryant fans. They've been Kobe Bryant fans since he's retired. They still
5:36 don't shut up about him. Like that's, that's just kind of who they were and kind of what they did.
5:42 But he had a direct impact seemingly on so many people, so many people. And you can just see that
5:49 by the reactions of people when they're going on ESPN or by that evening, by Sunday evening,
5:54 there was kind of a joint report on ABC and ESPN kind of showing the same thing. And you're seeing
5:59 these incredibly well known people. I mean, you got Jerry West on television basically saying,
6:05 it's the second worst day of his life. The only, excuse me, the only other worst day was when he
6:10 lost his brother in Korea, right? I mean, you got, again, I don't want to get into saying this guy
6:16 said this and this gal said that. But the stories have just, that have just been rolling out on
6:20 online and the anecdotes or whatever the situations may have been this one time when I met Kobe or
6:25 man, I spent a month, a month with him and this is what happened. It seems to be that he had a
6:29 tremendous impact on an unbelievable amount of people, even the people that he maybe didn't
6:33 have direct influence on just the mamba mentality. Again, for those of you who don't know, his
6:38 nickname was the black mamba and he just kind of had that killer instinct kind of kind of a field
6:42 to him. There are a lot of people that have just been hashtag mamba mentality. Well, before he died,
6:47 and that's just kind of their way of getting through things. Now, now for me, what I can say
6:51 personally is early in Kobe Bryant's career, I was a huge fan of his because I think it was in
6:56 junior high whenever the Lakers, the Shaq Lakers won the three Pete and Kobe was, you know, Robin
7:00 to Shaq's Batman. And that was just, that was the Showtime Lakers, like the in the modern area. And
7:06 it was an incredible thing to watch. And I loved watching them. I can still remember jumping out
7:11 of my seat whenever Kobe Bryant threw that alley oop to Shaquille O'Neal against the Portland
7:15 trailblazers. I think that was in the Western Conference finals, but just an incredible team to
7:20 watch. But then, you know, like with a lot of people with the rape allegations that came up in 2003,
7:25 it kind of made me look a little closer at him whenever he eventually did come back,
7:29 especially after he was not exonerated from those charges. And you know, then then his game just
7:34 kind of became annoying. It's like, I don't really like him. He's a ball hog. He's of this. He ran
7:37 Shaq out of town. I'm a huge Shaq fan. And so I guess you could say that I wasn't really overall a
7:43 Kobe Bryant fan. This is not a guy that I wished ill will in any way, shape or form. But there were
7:48 just certain things he would do in his career that I was just like, man, just didn't really care.
7:52 He wasn't my kind of guy. You know, I was more of a LeBron guy until, you know, he kind of,
7:57 he's been a little bit weird and woke the last couple of years. But then I was a Kevin Durant
8:01 guy and a Russell Westbrook guy because, you know, we've got the thunder now here in Oklahoma City.
8:04 But that that's just kind of how it is. But don't let that I just wanted to kind of be up front with
8:08 you that I was never really a huge Kobe Bryant fan. And the thing that I think will be interesting
8:12 for today's podcast is that I feel like that's almost better for me to kind of talk about the
8:16 things that I feel like I'm going to talk about because I'm not looking at it through rose colored
8:19 glasses. I certainly didn't hate the guy. It's not like I'm a Celtics fan. And I just hated Kobe Bryant.
8:23 But it's just, you know, I didn't look at him the same way as even some of my close friends did.
8:28 But I can say this, regardless of what you think about Kobe Bryant, regardless of what you think
8:33 about sports or celebrity or anything else, this has brought up a lot of questions for people,
8:38 this, this Kobe Bryant death. Because again, it's been wall to wall coverage for the last 48 hours.
8:42 As I'm sitting here right now, I mean, Kobe Bryant's been dead for just over 48 hours.
8:46 And so I jotted down these questions and I just want to kind of flow through them because I know
8:50 this isn't a normal podcast. It's not on a normal day, but I think this is obviously pertinent to
8:54 you guys and everybody else listening in the audience. The first thing I guess this kind of
9:00 brought up for me is what other deaths have we as Americans experienced like the death of Kobe Bryant.
9:08 I would just try to think of something. And really the first thing that came to mind
9:12 was for me, Stan Musial and Oscar Tavares. Okay. So if you don't know who those guys are, Stan
9:18 Musial is one of the greatest major league baseball players of all time, but he is the single greatest
9:21 Saint Louis Cardinal of all time. And of all the teams on the planet, that's the team I support
9:25 and follow the most. That is the Saint Louis Cardinals. And so Stan Musial died at the age of 92.
9:30 And I remember, I remember that personally affecting me and kind of getting me emotional.
9:35 But then not, you know, too far away from when ever Stan Musial passed away, Oscar Tavares died.
9:42 And so Oscar Tavares was one of the young up and comers for the Cardinals. He had barely made
9:46 it to the big leagues, but he was the guy that they were going to basically build the franchise
9:50 around. A 22 year old superstar who passed away because he was driving drunk and lost control of
9:55 his car, I believe is down the Dominican Republican and he passed away. I remember thinking at that
10:01 time, whenever Oscar Tavares died, I remember being so caught up with emotion, not because I
10:05 knew the guy like I met him once, but it wasn't that big of a deal. I didn't really know the guy.
10:09 But the thing is, is we were mourning Stan Musial because of what was what we knew about him.
10:15 And we were mourning Oscar Tavares as Cardinals fans because of what wasn't, right? Because of
10:20 what hadn't happened yet. Because of what we perceived to be future glory, right? For Cardinals fans
10:25 and for Oscar himself. So that's the first one that came to mind, but that maybe doesn't resonate
10:30 with you guys if you're not a Cardinals fan. But again, I kind of stayed in my baseball mindset.
10:33 Then Jose Fernandez came up who died in a boating accident at the age of 24. He was a pitcher for
10:38 the Miami Marlins. Then Tyler Skaggs, 27 year old pitcher for the Angels that just died this last
10:43 year, came out that he died of an overdose and accidental overdose. We had your Donna Ventura
10:49 that he was a pitcher for the Royals, a 25 year old pitcher that died a while back. I believe he
10:53 died in the Dominican Republic as well. But that's just kind of where my brain went. But I remember
10:58 those, those being impactful, those deaths, but they were a little bit more centralized. Like I
11:03 remember whenever Jose Fernandez died, the Miami Marlins team, their first game back. All the team
11:09 is super emotional. They're all wearing his number in D Gordon. This is one of the most incredible
11:13 things I've ever seen. If you haven't seen this, I may try to find it and tweet it out or something
11:17 like that. But D Gordon, who is a one hole, who is a very, very small guy, who's not particularly
11:24 possesses quite a bit of power. He goes up, he's a left hander, right? He actually goes up to the
11:29 box and takes a pitch right handed off of Bartello Colone. And again, he just was going to take a
11:35 pitch because Jose Fernandez was a right handed guy. So he comes up to the plate and goes right
11:39 handed. He he goes back to the dugout, switches out his helmet for a left handed batter's helmet.
11:43 And then he gets into the left batter's box. And a few pitches later, he hits a home run.
11:47 And before he can even round third base, he's already crying. I mean, everybody in the dugouts
11:54 crying, the people in stands are crying. It was so emotional. And even to this day, like I get
11:58 choked up thinking about that because they so clearly loved this kid. But again, he wasn't a
12:03 global icon. He he was a he was a budding star in the world of Major League Baseball. So then I
12:10 started thinking about, okay, what about outside of sports? And I thought about Michael Jackson.
12:14 I seem to remember when Michael Jackson died at the age of 50 again, with with all his baggage,
12:18 even the baggage that people knew about before the HBO documentary came out. Everyone was talking
12:23 about that. I remember the huge ceremony that they had for him. I remember Paul Walker. When Paul
12:29 Walker died, if you don't know him, he's he's one of the main characters, Fast and Furious. You
12:33 probably seen his movies, you definitely recognize him. He died at the age of 40 from a car accident.
12:36 And that was a sudden death. But you know, Paul Walker was a movie star, but he, you know, wasn't
12:41 maybe the biggest movie star. I thought about when I was a kid, Alia passed away. So if Alia,
12:47 the R&B singer, she passed away at the age of 22, I believe she died in a car or not a car crash
12:51 plane crash. And I remember that being like a huge deal when I was in elementary school, like,
12:56 Oh my gosh, Leah died. I guess around that same time, Princess Diana died in her thirties.
13:01 And that was a huge thing. That was kind of this global thing like, Oh my gosh, this this thing
13:05 happened. But even after I thought through all that guys, I know it took me a second to kind of
13:10 talk through that. None of it felt like what we're feeling right now with Kobe Bryant. And I know
13:14 we have a recency bias with a lot of things like this, like we think it's even bigger or more
13:19 important because it's happening right now. But this, this just feels fundamentally different.
13:23 And I guess it feels fundamentally different because he died with his daughter
13:29 because he seemingly had such a great and close relationship with his 13 year old daughter has
13:35 one of four daughters that he had. He seemed she seemed to be the apple of his eye, you know,
13:42 and just the video and pictures you see them to you could tell that there's a definite affection
13:47 there. Maybe it was the fact that there were other teenagers on that flight. And in the pilot
13:53 passing away, like it was just there was a lot. It just seemed like a lot. This was just
13:58 different. And I can't exactly explain why. But another question I asked outside of, you know,
14:03 what other deaths have we experienced that are kind of like this?
14:06 Is this a weird to mourn the passing of someone that you don't know personally?
14:10 And I'm certainly not the first person to come up with this question. I think a lot of people
14:14 have kind of thought to themselves or maybe thought whenever they're thinking about others
14:18 that that's kind of weird. Like when I talk to my wife, you know, she's on Facebook and even,
14:22 you know, she's not a huge sports fan. She obviously knows who Kobe Bryant is, but she's just like,
14:26 why are so many people so sad? They didn't even know the guy. And I know where she's coming from
14:30 because it is a little weird, I would say, to mourn the passing of someone that you didn't know
14:35 personally. It is a little weird. But I guess that kind of begs the next question, which is it okay
14:41 to mourn the passing of someone that you didn't know personally? And I got to say, yeah, I guess
14:46 it is okay. And I mean, if you read any of the psychological literature or any of those types
14:50 of things, like anytime someone has a profound impact on you, even if you don't know them,
14:56 it could cause you to to go into some sort of a mourning state, right, where you are mourning
15:01 the passing of this person. And I would say sure that that's okay. I still think that it's a little
15:06 bit weird to mourn them. But I'll tell you the people I don't really agree with as the people
15:11 that are like, Oh, you only care about the fact that Kobe died. There's thousands of people that
15:16 died until you do not care about them. The thing about it is guys, is there something called like
15:21 sympathy fatigue? Like you can only be so compassionate and so sympathetic. Like if you mourn the death,
15:28 every tragic passing of everybody on the planet, every car accident, every murder, every, you know,
15:33 natural disaster, you would explode. You would absolutely explode. So I feel like that it is
15:39 fundamentally different. Now, the other question that I guess this brought up for me that I'm
15:44 going to flow in a little bit is what is the difference between grief and sadness? Because I feel
15:49 like people are kind of putting those things in the same category. And I guess for me, when I feel
15:53 grief is when I've arrived, lost something that was incredibly special to me. And that's either a
15:58 person or a dog just to be real with you, right? You know, my dog Roman, whenever he passes,
16:04 it's going to be a problem for a while. And I know that now, right? And this is, you know,
16:09 Lord willing years and years in the future. But I can be sad if my team loses a game.
16:14 I can be sad if my favorite fighter, you know, gets an injury and can't fight. I can be sad if I,
16:19 if I get my wallet stolen, though those types of things, that's sadness.
16:22 Grief is an entirely different thing. You don't mourn sadness, right? You don't go through a
16:27 process of mourning because you're sad, right? But when you're grief stricken, it just seems to be
16:34 wholly different. And the only reason why I bring this up is because I feel like this is the first
16:37 time I've ever had to like think through that. Like some people are feeling sadness and some
16:41 people are grieving the loss of a celebrity basketball player that they've never met.
16:45 Now the next question that it kind of brought up for me as I was thinking through this is,
16:51 is the death of a celebrity more tragic than the death of just, you know, a regular person.
16:58 And I know, you know, that I'm not saying that to be offensive, you know, regular person.
17:03 But this feels different, but is it different? Well, as Christians, we know that it's not.
17:09 We know that when we are made in the image of God, all of us equally,
17:12 whether it's your pastor or the new leader of Isis, they're created in the image of God,
17:18 all the same. What they do with that creation, without a Mago day is obviously very different
17:23 for most people. But the death of a celebrity is no more tragic than the death of a regular
17:28 person if we're talking strictly literally. But when we look at this from a macro sense,
17:34 I think it's clearly different. Because if I were to die, right, there'd be a few thousand people
17:40 that would be very disappointed, maybe tens of thousands of people. If I'm lucky, right,
17:44 that would be disappointed for a bit and then would move on. I think it's safe to say that
17:49 right now there are millions, millions, if not tens of millions, but let's just leave it out
17:55 millions of people that are to this day still directly affected by this grown men that are crying,
18:03 that are overwhelmed with emotion, right? And I'm not getting on them. I'm not getting on them at
18:07 all. Oh, you're crying. That's not what I'm saying. But grown men that are having trouble
18:10 processing the emotions of losing their favorite superstar or even people that weren't necessarily
18:15 a fan of his that are just being affected by the emotions that other people are showing. It's
18:19 kind of like, you know, when someone else yawns you yawn, when someone else cries, you cry. It's
18:23 just like you're feeling their sadness. But this does feel different. And I think it speaks a lot
18:29 to the culture that we're in, not only the connectivity of our culture, right? We feel like
18:33 we grew up with Kobe Bryant because we were able to watch him on television. I mean, 50 years ago,
18:38 you wouldn't be able to watch these guys on television like you watch today. You can't watch
18:41 every single game. You may be caught one game or a handful of games a year, right? Maybe you had
18:46 to watch it in person, but we're so connected. We could follow him on an Instagram, we could
18:50 follow him on Twitter. We can see him being interviewed on late night talk shows. It was like he was
18:54 living with us. And I know for some of you guys, when you've met me, or even for those of you guys
18:59 that haven't met me, you're like, man, God, I feel like I know you already. Well, it's because you've
19:03 been listening to me ranting in my studio for the last couple of years. And it's somehow connected
19:08 with you. So even though you don't know me, you know me to a certain degree, because there's this
19:13 thing where I can just talk into a microphone and then fart it into the internet. And it just goes
19:18 out to everybody that wants to listen to it, right? So there's a connection in some way, shape or form.
19:23 And so the death of a celebrity, I don't think it's more tragic, but it certainly resonates to a
19:29 higher degree. And then, you know, when I thought about that, the next thing I thought about is,
19:34 okay, so what makes a death tragic? Because going back to my example with Stan Musial,
19:39 he died in 92. The guy experienced everything that you could possibly experience on this
19:45 Earth that was positive, right? World championships, MVPs, the adoration of an entire community of
19:51 people, you know, the adoration of people in St. Louis, the, you know, gosh, success in businesses,
19:58 everything you could possibly imagine he had it. But he died at 92. So it was sad, but not tragic
20:04 somehow. But with Kobe, 41 years old, seemingly on this trajectory to do even more great things,
20:11 it seems more tragic. And then it seems even more tragic still that 13 year old girls died on that
20:18 flight, right? The, the most talked about of which is obviously Gigi, but Kobe Ryan's daughter.
20:24 But that's what I've kind of thought about is that that's where we start drawing the line of
20:30 tragedy is he, he went too soon, or she was taken too soon. Now, obviously, we're not going to get
20:35 into a big theological discussion about whether or not they were taken too soon, or whether this
20:39 is a product of sin in a broken world. Like that's not what today's podcast is about. But for me,
20:44 I guess I'll just give you my opinion. What makes a death tragic is when you see a life that is
20:49 stamped out where there was still so much potential. That's not to say that some lives are worth
20:54 more than others. That's not to say that, you know, some lives are preferred more than others.
20:58 But, you know, 13 year old kid, she hadn't quite made her mark yet. You know what I mean?
21:04 And it's really sad. It's really sad for those three girls and, you know, all those girls,
21:10 I believe they all had siblings, surviving parents, you know, it's, it's tremendously tragic.
21:17 But it's, it's more tragic than I think we realize. One thing that we're really focused on right
21:21 now is we're focused on Kobe Bryant's, you know, widow now and the three daughters they left behind.
21:27 But there is an extended Bryant family that no one's really thinking about. There's the extended
21:32 families of the other folks that were on the flight. The other seven people that died. This,
21:36 this is tragic in a lot of ways. Because even if somebody was older, I think the oldest victim was
21:41 what 50 years old, right? It's, it still doesn't feel right. It feels like it shouldn't have went
21:49 down that way. And so, yeah, I guess that's what makes a death tragic is whenever you still see
21:54 so much potential and what people could have done and produced. Now, this is going to be a
21:59 slight change in tone for the podcast, but this has come up several times. So I feel like it's
22:03 worth noting. The question came up for me is, is it is bringing up Kobe's checkered past fair game?
22:08 And spoiler alert, I'll go ahead and give it to you right now. Yes, I do think it is. I do think
22:14 it is, but I'm bringing this up for two reasons. The first reason is because I was actually fairly
22:19 astonished at the coverage by ABC and ESPN. Again, I've called ESPN MSNBC sports, right? That's,
22:25 that's kind of their thing. Because even in some of their montages or some of their video clips
22:30 with Kobe Bryant, they mentioned the stuff in 2003 where he was not only accused of rape, but charged
22:36 with rape. But some people thought that it was actually absolutely insane that somebody would bring
22:42 that up on the day that Kobe Bryant died. We might be able to have a discussion about whether or not
22:47 that was tasteful, but you know, they brought it up and they just kind of left it out there.
22:51 There were people that were eviscerated on Twitter for bringing up articles that were written about
22:56 that case about the DNA evidence about some of those things. And I'm going to share a couple of
22:59 those things with you in the show notes. But I think it's absolutely fair to bring that up about
23:04 Kobe Bryant because here's, here's the thing about Kobe Bryant. This situation that happened back
23:10 in a hotel room in 2003, which I'm sure you're familiar with at this point, there's only one
23:15 person alive right now that knows actually what happened in that room. And that's the alleged victim.
23:20 Kobe Bryant's not here to speak for himself. And I'm not here to relitigate a case that was
23:23 there were actually litigated. But the reality of the situation is, is she claimed that Kobe Bryant
23:29 forcibly raped her. And she stood by that. And her name was dragged through the mud. And, you know,
23:37 this girl was, was not a perfect angel by any stretch of the imagination. A lot of people called
23:41 her a lot of horrible things. But this is a girl that came from a very wealthy family. It didn't seem
23:45 like she needed money. But she made this claim. And a year, I believe, about a year or so after she
23:51 claimed this, she decided that she was not going to testify at trial. So he was formally charged,
23:59 again, not just accused, but formally charged with rape. But this was actually settled in civil
24:04 court, where there was an undisclosed settlement, a settlement of which I don't find any importance
24:09 in, but an undisclosed settlement. But there, as part of the settlement, there was a note that
24:16 that had to be read by by Kobe Bryant or by Kobe Bryant's lawyers, basically taking some
24:21 responsibility for malfeasance in some way, that he wasn't completely on the up and up.
24:26 Basically, it was it was a little bit of a half confession that, you know, maybe everything that
24:30 night wasn't consensual and wasn't quite right. And a lot of people have tried to read in to that,
24:35 that testimony that was given or that statement, rather, that was given in saying like, Oh, well,
24:40 you just said that so he could get out of this and move on with his life and all those types of
24:43 things. But for me, if anyone ever accused me of sexual assault, forcibly raping somebody,
24:51 there is no settlement, there is no agreement that I could come to that would be fair in my
24:56 mind other than complete exoneration. By you retracting your statement and retract retracting
25:02 your lies, and I would be willing to spend every last dime of mine to basically clear my name.
25:07 But that's me personally. I'm not Kobe Bryant. I'm not his legal team, those types of things. So,
25:13 here's the thing, guys, about that situation, because again, I'm not trying to re litigate it or
25:16 try to trample on the memory of a dead man at this point. But at the very, very best Kobe Bryant
25:22 cheated on his wife, something that he was known for doing on multitudes of occasions.
25:27 But at the very worst, he raped somebody. And so why do I even bring this up? The reason why I bring
25:33 this up is because of a second reason. It's because some of the same people that were livid,
25:38 absolutely livid coming out of their skin, angry at people for bringing this up about Kobe Bryant
25:45 are the same people that want to re litigate the lives of dead people. You know, they want to
25:53 basically take down every statue or every mention of some of our founding fathers because they
25:58 they perform the horrific sin of owning people, owning slaves. Okay, you can't have it both ways.
26:07 It's either fair to bring up someone's checkered past, but then look at them in their totality and
26:14 say in total, we feel like they were a good person or a positive person for society or we can't.
26:20 You can't pick and choose because a lot of people wait, they wait until somebody has passed away
26:26 before they take their shots at them. You know, we go back and re litigate comments that John Wayne
26:32 made or or the lady that's saying, God bless America for the Yankees. Like we look back at these
26:36 horrific things that these people may have said or may have done or may have meant or whatever the
26:39 situation is, we try to imbune on them some sort of a, a real tactic like this is what they were
26:45 trying to say and do. We're trying to give them motive and yet we have no idea. And so that's the
26:50 thing that I find very interesting about this is again, I feel like it's fair because it's part
26:54 of the Kobe Bryant story. Now, it could be part of his story in that you will never see him any
26:59 other way than a rapist, which that's how some people see him, or she's part of a story that says,
27:03 Hey, he, he did something on this night and it wasn't on the up and up, but he lived a positive
27:10 trajectory of his life ever since then, you know, was a, was a model family man for every way that
27:15 we could tell a model father very close with his kids, whatever the situation may be. But again,
27:20 I feel like it's incredibly disingenuous for people to say, Hey, we shouldn't talk about that
27:24 right now because it's too new, because if you can say it whenever he's alive, you should be
27:30 able to say it in depth as well. I remember these people that are getting just destroyed for sharing
27:34 these old articles, these articles were written whenever he was like retiring. There was one
27:38 article from, I think it was from the Hollywood reporter or something like that where they were
27:42 basically like this was around the time he was retiring and everybody's basically swinging from
27:46 his, you know, what's and, you know, saying he's the greatest and this and all that and he scored
27:50 60 points in his last game. And this is all the greatest thing. That's whenever they wrote these
27:53 articles about, Hey, you remember the guy that was charged with rape and was never acquitted?
27:57 He was never convicted, but he was also never acquitted. So, and again, I'm not necessarily
28:01 giving you my read one way or the other. For me personally, uh, I don't know what happened.
28:06 The, the evidence is fairly damning, I would say, but, but the woman making the claims wasn't
28:12 fairly trustworthy. It's at the very best money, right? I mean, it wasn't an open shut case, but
28:19 it was, there was enough there to charge the guy. And so I, I guess where I would,
28:24 where I would fall on all of this is when I think about Kobe Bryant, I think about the basketball
28:29 player. I still think about the horror, the horrible thing that he may have done to that woman in a
28:34 hotel room in Colorado. Like I still think about those things, but since that can't be proven,
28:39 I can't just assume that it happened. You know, it's, we still live in a country where you're
28:44 innocent until proven guilty and I feel like he should be afforded that at least in its most basic
28:49 form. The guy may have been a dog and he might not be the best role model when it comes to being a man,
28:54 but he did some amazing things on the court. I mean, for me, when I think about Kobe Bryant,
28:59 actually the first thing I think about is when he blew his Achilles tendon, went to the foul line,
29:02 made two foul shots and walked off the court. That's pretty dang gangster, right? Again,
29:08 I'm not saying if he did something in the, in the hotel room in Colorado that that's okay,
29:12 because he's a cool basketball player. All I'm saying is we just don't freaking know.
29:16 We just don't know. I wasn't a huge fan of the guy. I respected his tenacity. If he was on my team,
29:22 I would have loved him, but he wasn't. So I hated him. It was one of those types of things. But,
29:25 but again, I feel like I've spent too much time on this, this point that I wanted to. But again,
29:30 it is completely fair to bring up his checkered past. Yes, it's completely fair to bring up his
29:33 checkered past even in light of his tragic death, his tragic demise. But you know, yes, it's still
29:38 completely fair, I would say. The last thing I would say here is what do we do with our sadness
29:44 then? Because I know a lot of people that are legitimately sad. I'm personally not that sad. I
29:49 feel, I feel really, really bad for the families. I feel really bad for the people that passed away.
29:54 It's a very tragic situation, but I seemingly live in darkness sometimes where I'm so aware
29:59 of the depravity and the death and the horrific things that are happening around the world where
30:04 this one rolled off my shoulders a little bit quicker than it has for others. But for those of
30:08 you that are sad or you know people that are legitimately sad, what do we do with that sadness?
30:14 And everyone kind of has their own self-help book approach to this and live every life to the
30:19 fullest and live every day as if it's your last and all that kind of stuff. And they're not wrong.
30:24 Those things are true, but to go even a little bit deeper than that, I think it's important that
30:29 we live with a purpose. Not that we shouldn't live with plans, right? Because some people feel like,
30:35 oh, I can't die. I've got all these plans. I've got all these things on the calendar. I've got
30:38 all these things I got to do. But when you don't live with purpose and if your time comes to an
30:44 abrupt end, then you will have left pretty much nothing behind. And so for some of you that this
30:51 death or maybe even this conversation, this podcast is going to spurn you to do something.
30:55 Maybe it's going to be to start your own podcast, write a blog, you know, write a letter to somebody
31:00 forgiving them. Something's going to come out of this. So I really don't care what your opinion
31:06 of Kobe Bryant is. I don't care. I don't care if you're like, oh, why are we talking so much
31:10 about this basketball player? I don't want to talk about basketball player. You know, I get it.
31:14 Guys, I'm dude. A thousand kids have been killed by Planned Parenthood today, right?
31:19 That's, that's a tragedy. Like that, that's a horrific thing as well, right? So it's kind of
31:24 hard to be that outraged about everything. But regardless of what you think about Kobe Bryant,
31:28 regardless of what you think about this situation, there is a positive that you can take from this.
31:31 And it is making sure that you do live with a purpose for us as Christians. If you are
31:36 Christian listening to this, this is me talking to you. And if you're not a Christian listening
31:40 to this, or if you're a non Christian that's listening to this, we're glad you're here.
31:43 But maybe this doesn't quite apply to you. But for us, there's a great commission here.
31:47 And we're to leave as big of an impact on this planet, not for our family name,
31:51 not for our bank accounts that we pass on, right? To get taxed later by the government.
31:57 No, we're leaving an impact for the kingdom. We're preparing for the next kingdom, right?
32:03 So the reason why we have to pray in the way that we do for, you know, his will to be done on
32:09 earth as it is in heaven is because everything's broken down here. As evidenced by this, this
32:15 tragic passing and the tragic passings of literally thousands of people every single day.
32:19 But if you live with a purpose, if you've got something that you're striving for,
32:24 if you're trying to better yourself so that you can better others, if you're trying to
32:27 better yourself, so that you can protect others, if you're trying to better yourself so that you
32:31 can provide for others, if you're trying to better yourself so that you can more easily show what
32:36 who God is to people to be a conduit through which the Holy Spirit can work.
32:41 That's a life worth living guys. And so maybe this is a good time for you to shift down a gear or two
32:48 and at least have a conversation with yourself. Start that internal dialogue to say, am I living
32:52 a life that is going to leave a legacy for the kingdom? If you're a non-Christian, are you leaving
32:57 the life that's going to leave a legacy for your family and be positive for those around you?
33:01 It's good stuff to think about. All right, guys, before we let you go, we're going to do a quick
33:04 resilience boost. As you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating
33:07 manly resilience. Specifically, we do that by providing content that for just spiritual,
33:11 mental and physical toughness. So for today, I've got three articles for you. The first is a
33:15 really nice article by the LA Times. It's called mother's father's daughter's coaches. Here are the
33:19 nine killed in the Kobe Bryant helicopter crash. So I've felt like this did a really good job of
33:23 kind of personalizing those people that may go unnamed and all the hubbub and media covers these
33:28 days. But then I did leave the other two articles for you for your own review. So one is remember
33:33 when Kobe Bryant was charged with rape. I didn't forget and neither should you. It's a Hollywood
33:37 reporter article. And then another one, Kobe Bryant's disturbing rape case, the DNA evidence,
33:41 the accuser story and the half confession from the Daily Beast. Here's the thing, guys, again,
33:45 this is not for me to pile on. But I know for most people, they don't even know where to find
33:49 this material. So I'm honestly just giving this to you so that you have it. I'm not trying to make
33:53 any particular point. I feel like I was very, very clear about the Kobe Bryant thing that at the very
33:58 best, we have no idea what the hell happened in that room. So we're just going to go with that.
34:02 Guys, thanks so much for listening to the podcast. You really do appreciate it. If you would,
34:05 please subscribe on Apple podcasts, iTunes, SoundCloud, Spotify, or Google Play and refer
34:09 your friends to listen and share this on social media. If we deserve a five star review,
34:13 please leave us one and I'm currently booking speaking engagements for the entirety of 2020.
34:17 So if you want me to come speak to your team on your podcast at your men's event, hit me up
34:21 info at undaunted.life. Again, that's i-n-f-o at undaunted.life. The website is www.undaunted.life.
34:28 And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undauntedlife or facebook.com/undauntedlife.
34:33 Check out our free devotionals on the eversion Bible app. Just search undaunted life under plans.
34:37 And as always, we want to thank the band August Burns Red for allowing us to use their music
34:40 library for our content. The intro outro track on this podcast is our song King of Sorrow,
34:45 which is author latest record entitled Phantom Anthem. The links are in the description.
34:49 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep cultivating manly resilience,
34:53 keep forging spiritual, mental, and physical toughness. Keep seeking the lion of Judah.
35:03 [Music]
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What makes a death tragic is when you see a life that is stamped out where there was still so much potential.
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