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This is Undaunted Life of Man's Podcast. I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Let's get into it.
0:44
All right, guys. Today I want to tell you about a personal story, and I know I go into personal
0:48
stories sometimes on this podcast, but this one is very, very personal and happened recently,
0:52
so I want to share that with you because I think you guys can get some value out of it. So
0:56
just here recently, my father, one of my favorite people on planet earth, had his 60th birthday party,
1:02
okay? And when I say 60th birthday party, here's the thing I got to kind of let you know about my
1:06
dad. My dad isn't a big celebration person, right? He's not the Hooten-Holler guy. He wanted to go
1:13
to an organized party. That's just not really his style. He's more of a shut-in, to be honest.
1:17
I mean, he just likes to be by himself. He likes to just kind of watch television,
1:22
ride his motorcycle. Like he doesn't really like to be around a bunch of people. Like, for instance,
1:26
he's rode Harley's his entire life and rolled, you know, off-road bikes when he was a kid and all
1:30
that kind of stuff, but he didn't really ride with people. That's never really been something
1:34
that he wanted to do and never really appealed to him to get a bunch of his buddies together
1:37
to go out and go on a ride. It doesn't have a whole lot of friends. You know, most of his
1:42
families there and around, but a lot of people on my dad's side of the family, they're not really
1:46
getting together. Some people are, but most of them aren't really big on getting together. I knew
1:52
this year that this was my dad's 60th birthday and I wanted to do something special for him, right?
1:57
And so since the beginning of 2019, I've just been kind of thinking through at different points,
2:02
you know, what can I do for my dad? That would be really awesome because I was just afraid on
2:06
the 60th birthday he was going to go to work, come home, you know, eat some food and, you know,
2:11
watch television and then go to bed. And I just didn't want that to happen for him. I wanted him
2:15
to have something special. And so I started thinking of different ideas. But the problem was is,
2:20
you know, when you're thinking about ideas for somebody, you kind of think of the stuff you think
2:23
is cool. And then you try to put it through the filter of that other person to see if you think
2:26
they would think it was cool. And so a lot of the ideas I thought were cool. I had to realize,
2:30
okay, he probably wouldn't like that. So I'm like, I'm going to take him to a thunder game. But
2:32
it's like, well, he doesn't like big crowds. He's not really that into basketball. So that wouldn't
2:36
have been that fun. And then it's like, okay, well, maybe I'll take him to a Texas Rangers game,
2:39
because that's what, you know, we did a few times when I was a kid, we would go down to Dallas and
2:44
go Arlington and go watch the Texas Rangers play. But I was like, you know, my dad's not that in
2:48
the baseball. And he hasn't really mentioned baseball or wanting to go to a game ever. But then it's
2:52
like, okay, what is he like? He really likes racing. He likes cars. And so then I started brainstorming
2:57
and this is my wife and I brainstorming, by the way, and then it was like, okay, well,
3:00
what if I took him to Texas Motor Speedway for a race? Well, you know, there wasn't really one.
3:05
I think the Texas Motor Speedway race is like way later in the year. It wasn't going to be close
3:08
to his birthday. You know, again, it's kind of big crowds, long drive. And it's just like,
3:13
maybe it would have been a cool idea. Maybe not. But then I started to kind of zone in on the idea
3:17
that I thought would be cool for him. And it's like, okay, going and watching something, yes,
3:21
it is an experience, but it's very different than when you're doing it yourself, whatever it is,
3:25
right? So you can go watch people play football or you can play football, you can go watch people
3:31
race or you can race. And so I kind of started working more in that range. Then it's like, well,
3:35
I'm heard about these driving experiences, right? And so I started to look into some driving
3:40
experiences like the NASCAR experiences, right? Well, you know, you can go to one of the big speedways.
3:45
And then they put you in the stock car and then there's an instructor in the passenger seat.
3:49
But then I started looking at those and the reviews just weren't that great. You know what I mean?
3:54
Like these are like, yeah, well, you know, it was a stock car and it was a big track, but they
3:58
wouldn't really let you go above 50 miles an hour just for safety reasons. And so you're just
4:02
basically driving on these long straightaways with a couple of left turns. It just wasn't that
4:07
exciting, right? And there's not a whole lot you can do to make that exciting. Because here's a deal
4:11
is if you're an instructor, you don't want to die. I mean, you don't know who's in the
4:14
isn't the driver's seat. Don't know about their record. You don't know if they're mentally stable.
4:19
And there's a wall right there to your right. And so if somebody you can't let them get up to 120
4:23
130 miles an hour and just have them, you know, yank it into the infield or into the wall. So you
4:27
don't really want to do that. But after all that, I found this experience that I thought only existed
4:33
like on these kind of like traveling things are only in Vegas or other countries, but it was called
4:37
drive exotic and it's down in Crescent, Texas. It's kind of close to Fort Worth, west of Fort Worth.
4:42
And the thing about them is they've got a lot of exotic cars that you can rent. And I don't know
4:47
if it was probably my phone listening to me. Thanks a lot, Siri. But at the same time, it was one of
4:51
those things where it's like, okay, I got this ad for a three car package to, you know, rent three
4:57
cars for four laps at drive exotic. And the cars were like, you know, Ferraris and Lamborghinis and
5:02
McLarens and, and Mercedes and, you know, Vipers and all these types of things. I was like, okay,
5:08
okay, that's it. I just kind of landed on it. It's just like, that's it. I'm going to rent my dad
5:14
four laps in three of these cars. And that's going to be awesome. We're going to make that happen.
5:18
Okay. So I went ahead and booked it. I booked it several months beforehand, because that's
5:22
whenever the special was or whatever. And then I called my dad and I just said, Hey, dad, what
5:26
are you doing on this date? You know, the date of his birthday pretty much. And he's like, well,
5:30
I'm working. I was like, take the day off. For what? Take the day off? Well, you got to tell me
5:37
what for? I said, no, I don't. You're going to take the day off. And then it was like, whoa,
5:40
you know, I don't know if I can get all those. And I finally, I kind of pulled it, you know,
5:44
father or something. I was like, dad, you're taking the day off. Okay. I can't tell you why,
5:48
but you're taking the day off. So he got the day off. We kind of made our plans and to be honest
5:52
with you like, it was kind of so far in the future that I was just kind of like, I don't really know,
5:57
it was kind of hard to get excited for because I had booked it so far in advance. But you know,
6:01
my birthday is a couple of weeks before his. And so when my birthday came around, I was like, okay,
6:06
you know, we're getting close to this. And then as the weeks and days were approaching,
6:09
I was just like, okay, I was getting really, really excited to take my dad to do this. And so
6:13
what I wanted to do is he's down in Lawton, Oklahoma. So that's in Southwest Oklahoma. And so what I
6:17
didn't want to do is wake up early in Oklahoma City, drive to Lawton and then drive, you know,
6:21
three more hours to Crescent, Texas. So I was like, you know, it'll be cool. I can go down there
6:25
the night before and stay at my dad's house. And then we would just leave out early in the morning.
6:28
And so I didn't think of much about what we would do kind of that night before I thought we would
6:34
just kind of do what we normally do. So my dad and I will just go go get some to eat, you know,
6:38
just pizza or, you know, some sort of like comfort food, because it's my hometown, whatever that
6:41
thing might be. And then just sit around and watch TV for a while and both of us go to bed and just
6:45
kind of go on about our way. But we stopped by a liquor store. There's a really nice liquor store
6:50
in Lawton, Oklahoma. And they have some interesting things. And so we go by there and then I just kind
6:55
of throw out the idea to my dad's like, Hey, you want to have a couple cigars tonight? I mean,
6:58
I've never smoked a cigar with my dad, but I saw one the idea hit me I was like, Hey, you want to do
7:02
some cigars? So he's like, Sure. So we get some cigars, we go home. And you know, this, it's really
7:07
hot in Oklahoma at this time of year. And so it's well over 100 degrees. But then once the sun goes
7:11
down, it's still like in the 90s, but at least the sun's not beaming down on you. So we go out on the
7:15
back porch, I pour myself a whiskey, he grabs himself a beer, and we have our cigars. And
7:19
we just kind of go out there and we just start chatting, right? Just super casual. I throw in
7:23
some wailing jinnings. So that can kind of play in the background or whatever. And we just sat there
7:27
and talked. And to a lot of you guys, it's like, Okay, and so what? But but that that's really
7:32
one of the biggest things is we just sat there and talked. I mean, my dad and I, we talk quite a bit,
7:37
you know, we'll talk on the phone. And you know, we don't see each other that often because we don't
7:41
live in the same city. But it's not like we don't talk. But guys, we sat there for several hours
7:47
and conversed about some actually some really big topics. And a lot of them are kind of personal
7:53
to my dad and I, but I mean, for several hours, you could almost tell like, my dad just doesn't
7:58
have a whole lot of people in his life that he could talk to in that way, where he can kind of be
8:02
vulnerable and say, Hey, this sound feeling about this. And you know, how are you feeling about that,
8:06
you know, being a bold enough to ask certain questions that you would normally ask or wouldn't
8:10
ask if certain people were around. And it was, it was such a good conversation. And my dad even
8:15
commented at some points because he was really enjoying himself, you know, had had some had some
8:18
beers and had his had a cigar and he liked the cigar and, you know, getting to talk to his son,
8:23
like you can just tell he was beaming. He really, really enjoyed that. But you know, the night ended,
8:28
we go inside, go to bed, wake up the next morning. Now we're riding to Crescent, Texas. And so the
8:33
cool thing was is, you know, I got up like I was shot out of a cannon that day because I was so
8:38
excited. But I'm kind of a pessimist by by kind of nature. I'm not really that optimistic.
8:43
Some of you guys may may be surprised by that. But I'm just really not. And so I'm like, okay,
8:47
you know, I had called the place multiple times just to make sure you got a reservation, right?
8:50
Like we're good. And I knew I just figured, Oh, now it's going to like thunderstorm and they
8:54
won't let us on the track. But you know, track was clear. You know, reservations were good to go.
8:58
We were all squared away. So now we're driving down there. And so I'm just needling my dad,
9:03
right? I'm just like, Hey, you know where we're going? You want to take a guess? And you know,
9:07
just just playing games with him. But ever ever so often, he would just kind of give me a guess.
9:11
He's like, I don't know. Are we going skydiving? I was like, I don't know. That's kind of a cool
9:14
idea. Maybe we are going skydiving. And then I would take a turn and we'd be going in a different
9:19
direction. He's like, okay, okay, well, we're going west now. Um, I don't know. Are we going
9:22
fishing? It's like dad, you really think I drove down to Southwest Oklahoma to take you fishing
9:27
when it was like 105 degrees outside? Come on. But like the whole ride down there, I'm having
9:31
them guess. But then we're also we're enjoying ourselves listening to music. We got Johnny Cash
9:35
going in Chris Stapleton and Willie Nelson. Like we're just enjoying ourselves going the
9:39
whole way down there. But guys, he never even got close with a guess. I mean, literally it was
9:44
skydiving. It was fishing. It's going to a, you know, a gun range and shooting. It was just stuff
9:49
that was all over the place. He never even mentioned something about racing or about a car.
9:54
So long story short, we're driving and he can see the map and he sees, okay, we're about five
9:59
minutes away from our destination. But you can't see anything where we're at. You can't see the
10:03
track. There's not lights. There's not any of that kind of stuff. And so he's still really, really
10:06
confused. And then I pull onto the service road basically to get to drive exotic, which is where
10:12
this was. He still doesn't know what we're doing. And again, I'm getting excited. I'm getting
10:16
rammed. I'm like, Oh, this is going to be the greatest thing ever. I even pull into the parking
10:20
lot. And he still doesn't realize what we're doing because it doesn't really look like a track.
10:24
And then I go around the corner and he sees a Lamborghini. And he's like,
10:30
he just kind of looks at me and I just kind of look back at him and I was like, you want to go
10:34
fast, dad? And then it all hit him all at the same time that I brought him to a race track
10:41
to drive around some exotic cars. And I can't use the words he used at that exact moment. But
10:46
it was basically like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? What? What? I mean, I literally watched
10:52
my 60 year old dad turn into a seven year old kid. He was so giddy, so excited. Like he couldn't
10:58
wait for me to park the truck for us to get out so that he could like see the cars, right? And I'm
11:03
like, dad, come over here. We have to like get signed in. We got to do all this stuff. Like,
11:06
you can't just walk in there and hop in the car and go. But it was so much fun watching his
11:11
reaction when we arrived. He was so excited. But I knew my dad was going to try something
11:16
because my dad has spent basically his entire life doting on me and, you know, giving me things
11:21
and, you know, kind of just being there for me. And I immediately knew what he was going to do.
11:25
He was going to try to get me to drive instead of him. I knew it. I mean, I'm months and months,
11:29
I knew that. And there was no chance I was going to let that happen. There was no chance.
11:34
And so he literally looks at me and he goes, well, are you driving at all today? I said, nope.
11:38
And he's like, well, I want to, and I was like, absolutely not, absolutely not. I know what you're
11:42
about to say. I appreciate it. But today is about you. We are celebrating you. We are celebrating
11:47
your birthday. Let's get it going. So we go inside, we get checked in, you know, you got to watch
11:51
a safety video and do all these different things. But I rented him four laps in these three cars.
11:57
So it was a Lamborghini LP 564, a Ferrari F 430 F one, and then a Dodge Viper SRT and that Dodge
12:05
Viper 700 horsepower. That was the only one that they would let you drive with manual transmission.
12:10
And so he got to spend some time with the cars because there was some other cars in there. There
12:15
was a brand new Mercedes that was in there that a lot of people have rented this Nissan race car
12:19
that a lot of younger people like to race. There was another land. There were two other
12:22
Lamborghinis in there. So he just got to kind of be around the cars, you know, just touch them,
12:26
sit in them like, you know, just you have them pop the hood so we can check it out. He's talking
12:30
to the guys that own the place and they're talking about cars and all this gear heady type stuff.
12:34
And I'm just, I am just excited. I'm just so giddy for him. But then it's time to drive, right?
12:39
It's time to drive. And so he basically, he decided he was going to do the Lamborghini
12:44
first, then the Ferrari, then the Viper, because the Viper is kind of like a tank that can go 200
12:48
miles an hour. And so it's like, Hey, let's get used to the track first and kind of go around.
12:51
And so he gets in the Lamborghini guys, I'm taking video and pictures of all this so I can kind of,
12:55
you know, regale my kids someday about the story about what they did with Grant, what I did with
12:59
grandpa. And so he gets in the Lamborghini. And it was like, he just couldn't handle himself.
13:06
He was like, Oh my gosh, I am in a freaking Lamborghini. He just looks over me and he goes,
13:09
I'm man, I'm so lucky. Man, I'm lucky. And I'm all man, I'm ear to ear. He takes it out of the,
13:15
the garage area, he goes on to the track, he gets his four laps. And you know, I meet him back,
13:19
you know, at the garage, and he gets out and he's just, Oh my gosh, Kyle, that was so cool.
13:24
You would not believe how the thing handles, you would not believe how this thing drives,
13:28
it's like the craziest thing in the world. And it was like, he was literally like, when a kid's
13:31
like opening presents at Christmas, like they're not even done unwrapping that present before they
13:36
want to get on to the next one, because they're so excited. That's how he was with the cars. He
13:39
just wanted to get to the next car. Let's get to the next car. And I, you know, now I want to drive
13:42
the Ferrari. And then we get to the Dodge Viper. And that's the six speed manual transmission.
13:47
He's really getting used to the track now. Like he's really enjoying himself. And then he does
13:51
those laps and I'm running around, you know, I'm going to, you know, the shop and I'm going on top
13:55
of it so I can take video from up there. I got, you know, stuff that's down on trackside so we can
13:59
kind of get us into about fast. He's going. And guys, I'm just having the time of my life. Like,
14:03
I couldn't get the smile off my face. I'm just so, so excited for my dad. It's all good to go.
14:08
Everything went off without a hitch. And so we get back and he's done driving the Viper.
14:13
And you know, he kind of hangs around for a little bit longer. We take some pictures with the cars
14:17
and do all those different things. But then it was, you know, then it was time to go home, right?
14:21
I mean, we drove down there three hours. We spent a couple hours down there. You know,
14:25
he got the fullness of the experience. And that was one thing I was worried about. I was like,
14:28
man, it's four laps in each car enough. I don't know exactly how big this track is. But
14:32
guys, it just could not have been better. And now we're on our drive home, right? And to be
14:37
honest with you, like, I still can't get the smile off my face. And you know, I don't really
14:42
have a whole lot of moments like that because, you know, even, even though I'm in my early 30s,
14:46
I still kind of feel like a kid. Like when I go to family events, I'm still one of the younger
14:50
people there. And, you know, I still got my aunts and uncles and grandparents that are there. And
14:54
so I'm still kind of like the grandkid or, you know, the nephew or something like that. It's just a
14:58
little bit different. But this was an opportunity where I literally just got to do something for
15:03
my dad. So, and I just can't stop smiling because it's like this all was so perfect.
15:07
Like there could have been so many things that went wrong and nothing went wrong. It's so good.
15:12
But then one of the coolest thing that's ever happened to me happened as we're, you know,
15:16
basically five minutes away. Like we just left the track and we're about five minutes down the road.
15:20
My dad just, he's kind of talking to you goes, you know what, Kyle? The two best days of my life
15:26
are the day that you were born and today. And I mean, like, I'm not a super sappy guy,
15:34
but I was too excited at that moment and happy to, like, sit there and boo-hoo like a baby.
15:39
But that was one of the most important thing that's ever been said to me.
15:43
Right? I mean, because this is a dad that has not withheld his love at all. He's constantly
15:47
told me he's loved me and, you know, always been there to support me. But this was one of those
15:51
things where it's like, man, this is one of the best days of my life. And so I've reflected a lot
15:57
on that, right? Because we had the three hour drive home. Again, we're listening to music. We're
16:01
having a good time. It was more classic rock on the way home. So we had some ZZ Top and Bad Company
16:05
and stuff like that going. But then we get him home and, you know, we get a little bite to eat. And
16:09
then I got to get back home because I got to get some work done the next day and all that. And so,
16:13
but you could just tell how appreciative he was and how thankful he was. He was so excited. And
16:17
it was almost like you could tell he couldn't wait to get to work the next day so that he could
16:20
tell people, you know, what his son did for him on his birthday, that kind of thing. But I've
16:25
spent a lot of time thinking about it. And so I wanted to put this in a way that would be helpful
16:31
for you guys for the guys out there that are sons, which are literally all the guys listening to this,
16:36
but especially for you guys that are fathers, right? So I have some reflections for sons and
16:41
some reflections for fathers. And so I'm just going to do reflections for sons first. Okay.
16:45
So the first thing I thought about whenever I kind of in thinking through this experience
16:51
is my encouragement to you guys is that you should put effort and thought into the presence
16:57
that you do for your father. And when I guess maybe I should back up a little bit, I know that not
17:02
everybody listening to this has a great relationship with your dad. Maybe some of you don't know who
17:06
your dad is. Maybe some of you have fathers that have passed away. And so this is just generalized
17:12
wisdom. And I'm talking to the majority of the audience. But even if you don't have a great
17:16
relationship, your dad isn't there anymore or something like that, you don't even have a father
17:19
figure. I think this is still going to be useful for you. So just understand that I'm not so dense
17:23
that I that I don't realize some of you don't have the same situation that I do. Okay. So getting
17:28
back into it, put some effort and thought into their presence, because something that's kind of
17:32
old hat. And I mean, there's even commercials that have this. Basically every time dad's birthday
17:37
comes up or Christmas comes up, it's just like, all right, well, if he's in the hunting, you know,
17:41
you get him another camo hat or, you know, he really likes wearing, you know, the same pair
17:46
of tennis shoes, every year you get the same, you know, white new balances with the with the blue
17:49
in on them or whatever the thing might is, you know, the dad shoes. And I'm sure your dad loves
17:55
those things. But it is a little bit different when you do something that has a little bit more
17:59
forethought. Because this honestly took quite a bit of forethought. It wasn't a cheap experience.
18:04
It wasn't any of those things. But it was like, man, it was worth it. And I almost felt guilty.
18:09
It's like, why did I wait till he had his 60th birthday? Why didn't I just do that at some other
18:13
point? Like, would that have been that big of a deal to do it some other time? What if I just did
18:18
it randomly? And so that was kind of a small thing. But my encouragement to you guys is I
18:23
understand just getting dad a t shirt or getting dad of this or that or tickets to the game. Like,
18:27
you know, maybe that's what you do all the time, but maybe put a little bit more effort into it,
18:31
you know, it might mean a little bit more. Another reflection I had on this for sons is
18:36
to give your dad the most benefit of a doubt. So what in the world do I mean by that? So
18:42
a lot of people, like I said, have some negative emotions tied to their relationship with their
18:47
fathers, right? And to be honest, if your dad's not around, I mean, I can't exactly argue against
18:54
you, right? But your dad is the male that should have been in your life to an extreme degree. My
19:01
mind certainly was constantly around constantly doing things kind of in your sphere. But when
19:09
you're around someone that often, and in those intimate types of situations, you're going to
19:14
learn more about them and you're going to understand more about how they work than just about anybody,
19:18
then your coworkers or fraternity brothers or whatever the thing might be. And so you've got
19:23
the most opportunities to not give your dad the benefit of the doubt, to not give your dad grace,
19:28
right? Because you know what you wanted him to say and he didn't say it. You know what you wanted
19:33
him to do, but but he didn't do it. Or even the simply you know that you wanted him there and he
19:39
just wasn't there. But my encouragement to you is just give your dad the benefit of the doubt.
19:45
Because my dad is certainly imperfect. There are some things about his personality that absolutely
19:49
drive me insane. There are things about, you know, how he how he operates and the ways the
19:54
decisions that he's made in his life. Like there's certainly a lot of things that I could pick on,
19:58
but it's my dad, right? I'm choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt as often as possible.
20:06
You know, my sister, she doesn't have a relationship with my dad, right? I don't want to get too much
20:10
into the family dynamic because I don't need to give you all that much of the Pete behind the
20:13
curtain, but they don't even have a relationship. And we had the same same dad lived in the same
20:17
house or treated the same way growing up. But they don't have a relationship because she doesn't
20:23
want to give my dad the benefit of the doubt in a lot of these areas. And before anybody starts
20:27
thinking up any ideas, there was no abuse in the home. There was no like none of that nonsense.
20:31
Like it was just we have very different opinions about who our dad is. It's very unfortunate in
20:37
a lot of different ways. But to move on, in terms of more reflections for the son, the other thing
20:42
is just maximize your time with your father's guys. And again, I'm acknowledging for the for
20:46
those of you who have your father's that are here, but even for those of you who have lost your dad,
20:49
whether you had a good relationship with them or not, I'm sure there was some regret. And we
20:54
live in an age where most people don't retire in their hometowns, right? And they haven't lived
21:00
there the entire time, right? So I'm one of those people like I went to school in Edmond, Oklahoma,
21:06
and I'm still in the same state, but you know, it's an hour and a half away. And you know,
21:09
it's really not that bad of a drive, but it's, you know, it's enough to where it's very inconvenient.
21:13
So you just don't get home to see the grandparents as much. You don't get home to see mom and dad as
21:16
much. But guys, do what you can to maximize time with your father, because you're acknowledging
21:23
that he's an imperfect person, but he is your dad. And again, you're given that relationship of
21:28
father and son to understand things, right? God didn't invent dads and sons for no reason.
21:34
Again, everything was created in a way that could glorify him. So if you maximize the time
21:41
with your father, that is quality and quantity. I think that will be good for you. So for the
21:46
sons out there, I want you to chew on that. And the last thing in terms of reflections for sons
21:50
is honor thy father, guys. I mean, that's Exodus. I mean, honor thy father, that's 10 commandments,
21:55
right? Fifth commandment. And I know a lot of people that don't take that seriously.
22:00
For either party involved in that scripture for mother or father, right?
22:06
But the thing about it is, is when you honor your father, you learn about yourself and you also
22:13
learn about God. You learn about that reciprocal relationship that you are wanting that isn't
22:19
necessarily in the cards, because we're in a post Genesis three world. Things are broken,
22:22
sin entered the world, and you're constantly constantly going to be disappointed by human beings.
22:26
That doesn't mean you can not honor your father. And again, for me, it's easy,
22:33
because my dad loves me and he proved it over and over and over again. So for some of you guys,
22:39
I know it's like, well, Kyle, you don't know my story. Well, God knows every story. And he still
22:44
gave us the command to honor thy father. So think through that. But now I want to move on to
22:50
reflections for fathers. So I have four reflections that I wanted to kind of go through with you.
22:53
And the first thing is guys, be your son's biggest fan. Yes, you can apply this to daughters. But again,
23:00
I'm thinking about me and my dad. So this is father son right now. But be your son's biggest fan.
23:05
Because that is exactly what I experienced my entire life. There is no bigger fan of Kyle
23:11
Thompson on this planet than David Thompson. None. None whatsoever. I'm ecstatic that I have his name
23:18
as my middle name. And I'm very anxious to give a son my name as his middle name and kind of keep
23:25
passing that family tradition down. But the thing about it was is I never had to question my dad's
23:30
love for me. Even whenever he was disciplining me or correcting me or any of those things,
23:36
I never questioned that he was all about me. He was so excited for me, right? I remember this
23:42
one time. I don't know if I've talked about this on the podcast before. It's just a real quick story.
23:45
But I mean, I've talked about my ninth grade baseball team, you know, when I was talking about my
23:49
ninth grade teacher, English teacher that came out and supported me. But there were a lot of games
23:53
that season where, you know, that was the year that my parents got divorced. And so things were
23:58
really awkward and really weird. So my dad didn't feel like he could sit in the stands and my mom
24:02
was there. It was just, you know, it was junior high. It was junior high for adults, really.
24:05
But the thing was is you could actually park in the outfield, right? And so you could park there
24:10
and watch the game and do what you want to do. So my dad had this old silver step side pickup,
24:14
Chevy that he would park out like in right center field. And there was a game. I'll remember this
24:19
until the day I died. I mean, he's literally sitting on the hood of his car, probably eating
24:22
sunflower seeds, just watching his boy play ball. And I hit it. I hit a bomb. And I'm rounding first
24:26
base. And I look out in right field and I kind of like point to my dad. And like, my dad is like,
24:31
going so crazy that I think he's going to fall off the hood of his truck. Like, he was like,
24:35
I mean, he was hooting and hollering and going nuts, like probably spraying corn nuts everywhere.
24:39
But I just remember that like he was so excited, right? And he wasn't that dad that demanded I
24:44
play sports like he always just demanded that I give full effort. The only time I ever gotten
24:50
trouble on on a sports field wasn't if I went over for or, you know, if I missed a tackle or
24:54
anything like that is if I was dogging it, that's the only time I got in trouble.
24:58
And so the thing about it was is he was my biggest fan at all times and he expressed it.
25:03
So for some of you guys out there that are fathers, you're the biggest fan in the world of your
25:07
son and he doesn't know it, make sure that he knows it. Make sure that he knows he you are
25:14
there for him and that you you have every fiber of your being focused on how awesome he can be.
25:20
Like you have no idea the level of confidence it'll give your son. Because I mean, my dad thinks
25:25
I'm the smartest kid in the world and thinks I'm the best student and the best all these things.
25:29
And it's kind of funny because there's a lot of these things that he thinks about me that aren't
25:32
exactly true, but he doesn't care. Like he doesn't want to be correct. He's like, no, you're my boy.
25:37
I want to make that happen. So guys, be your son's biggest fan.
25:40
The next thing in terms of reflections for fathers is don't try to be best friends with your son.
25:45
Now that might not that might seem like I'm kind of going against what I just said. Well,
25:50
I thought you just said be your son's biggest fan. Yeah, be his biggest fan. Don't be his best
25:53
friend. He's gonna have plenty of those. Like I talked about this all the time. I mean,
25:57
maybe not on this podcast, but to other people, the three guys that were in my picture that were
26:02
like in my wedding party or whatever, like I don't see a lot of them very much anymore. It was four
26:07
guys that were that were in there. These are guys, you know, some of some of them have moved away.
26:11
Some of them have lives that are going a different direction. Sometimes, you know,
26:14
you just kind of like move apart from people doesn't mean you don't like them. It doesn't mean you
26:17
don't love them and doesn't mean you would be there for them if you know, if they needed you.
26:22
But we just kind of depending upon where we're at in life, we have kind of our different set of
26:26
core friends, right? But the thing about you guys and the thing that I know a lot about for guys of
26:31
that are parents of generation Z kids or generation, you know, millennials or those types of things,
26:36
is you're trying to be like best buddies, right? You want to be best buddies with your kid.
26:40
But when you try to be best buddies with your kid, it kind of makes them lose respect for you
26:43
because they've got plenty of friends. They have one dad and you've heard that before. I didn't
26:46
make up that quote. But I was kind of thinking through that and there was a scripture that came
26:50
to mind. It was Ephesians six verse four, his fathers do not provoke your children to anger,
26:54
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of Lord. That's the mandate that we have.
27:00
And so you don't normally think about your best friends and think about the discipline and
27:04
instruction they bring to you. Most people don't want that in a friend relationship, but we have
27:09
this innate desire for that and a father son relationship. Could it be possible that there's
27:14
a reason for that? I mean, I mean, certainly there's a reason for that. And so that's just my encouragement
27:19
to you guys is my dad, he would say this as a kid and I'll remember this forever. He would just
27:24
look at me and go, buds for life. And I'd look back out of my go, buds for life, right? I mean,
27:29
so we knew we were friends. Like that was my dude. Like we hung out, but he was never, he was never
27:33
like trying to be my friend. He was just my dad. And we ended up just really liking one another,
27:38
right? Even though we're very, very different on a lot of core issues. But that's the thing is
27:43
just the encouragement to you guys is just try not to be best friends with your son. Just be a good
27:47
dad. Another reflection I have for fathers is be the most trustworthy person your son could look to.
27:55
So now we're kind of getting a little intense now, right? Because your son, especially if you're
27:59
in your son's life on a regular basis. And again, yes, you can apply this to daughters. But with
28:02
your son specifically, he's got to be able to trust you if he's going to learn from you.
28:06
Because I've talked to a lot of dads before, whether I've been, you know, helping out with a
28:10
wrestling program or helping with a kid that's, you know, maybe falling away a little bit. And
28:14
then somehow they end up, you know, with me and I'm trying to help them and move them in a certain
28:18
way. And I'll tell them something that their parents have been telling them. But then they'll
28:21
do it because I said it. And you know, the dad's like, Oh my gosh, this is like driving me nuts.
28:25
I'm like, I'm glad he's doing it. But man, I've been saying that for years. It's like, well, you
28:28
know, it's it's when a different person says it or when a coach says it or when a guy church says
28:32
it's just a little bit different. But part of it is when someone else is landing in your son's ear,
28:38
and it's making sense of them, perhaps it's because they trust that person.
28:42
Is that possible? Is it possible that they've seen you fall so many times and not be humble about it?
28:50
And not seek out grace and forgiveness that they don't feel like they can come to you because they're
28:56
afraid that they won't get any grace or forgiveness. So that's the thing for me is I trust my dad.
29:02
Now there's certain things that I don't go to him with because he just doesn't have,
29:05
you know, that level of understanding. So when I'm talking about business things or something like
29:09
that, that's not really his paradigm. He can't really help me with that. But he can help me
29:12
rebuild an engine, right? Something that I have no experience in. And so those are the types of
29:16
things is, you know, be the most trustworthy person in as many areas as possible that your
29:22
good son could possibly listen to or go to because you know the drill, especially when your your
29:27
son becomes a teenager and all that, they think they know better. And yes, I went through it and
29:31
you went through it too. You think you know better, right? Dad doesn't know. He just doesn't understand
29:34
me, right? But they always come around. I mean, how for you, how long did it take for you to come
29:40
around? You know, when you went through your rebellious phase, whether that was for five days
29:44
or five years or whatever the situation was, then you come around. You know, for a lot of people,
29:50
they say it's when they had their kid, when they had their first kid, they understood why their dad
29:55
did this or said that or acted in that way, because now they're experiencing it. But for you guys,
30:00
the big focus I want to want you to have, especially if you're a father right now is be the most
30:05
trustworthy person your son could look to apply that. However, you want to do it, but just do it.
30:11
And the last reflection I have for you guys is show your sons the way. Show your sons the way.
30:17
Proverbs 22 six says, train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not
30:24
depart from it. So guys, you can do all that you can to make sure that your sons don't go off,
30:30
and you know, go into the wayward path. You can do everything that you can to prepare them for life,
30:35
prepare them for college, prepare them for adulthood, for marriage, for fatherhood, for themselves,
30:40
whatever the situation might be. But show your son's the way. Model it. Model manhood. Model
30:49
masculinity. Make it seem easy. But tell him that it's not teach him that it's not that they have to
30:55
work at it. Again, we say here at Undaunted Light that a man is a male that cultivates spiritual,
31:01
mental and physical resilience on a daily basis. Are you doing that? And I know there's some dads I
31:10
have in mind that I know are listening to this right now, and they would say that they're probably
31:14
not hitting the mark. So what do you need to do in order to hit the mark so that you can show
31:20
your sons the way? Because I know you're not going to argue that it's not important because
31:24
it's certainly important. You know that it's important. But again, going back to Proverbs 22
31:29
six, the very first two words are train up. Right? That's the very first thing. Train up a child.
31:35
You have to train them. Not like they're a dog. But the thing about it is, how can you train them
31:40
if you don't know the way? How can you tell them how important physical resilience is if you don't
31:47
model it? If you haven't picked up a weight in several decades, if you haven't, you know,
31:51
put on your running shoes in a meaningful period of time, why would he take you seriously?
31:57
I mean, I mean, serious, right? For mental resilience, if they've never seen you read a book,
32:02
why should they listen to you when you're telling them that homework is important and that grades
32:06
are important? He should see you seeking out knowledge, listening to audible books or podcasts
32:13
or reading books or go into conferences. He should see you seeking those things out.
32:16
And what about on the spiritual side? Is he seeing you lead the family spiritually? Or is he watching
32:25
mom do it? Is mom the one that's encouraging everybody to get ready for church and, you know,
32:31
encouraging everyone during worship? Is mom the one that does the prayer around the table?
32:36
Is mom the one that prays for the kids in their rooms every night? Is mom the one that spawns all
32:42
the spiritual desires in the household? Is mom the one that sets the spiritual temperature in the
32:47
household? I'm not picking on mom is by any stretch of the imagination because you know why they're
32:52
doing it because you're not because most good women, whenever they see their man leading in that way,
32:59
will allow him to. It's not a power struggle. They just allow that to happen. They understand
33:04
headship intrinsically. It's just in there, right? But again, if you're not doing that,
33:09
if you're not cultivating that on a daily basis, how can you expect your son to understand?
33:14
Because again, for me growing up, I love my dad. I didn't really see him developing spiritual,
33:21
mental or physical resilience really ever. But I mean, I still love him. That doesn't change how
33:26
much I love the man and how much I respect the man. But for me, it's been a little bit harder of a
33:31
paradigm for me to get my head around understanding these things because I had to kind of look in other
33:35
places. So why don't you give your son the best example possible? You live with him. A lot of you
33:43
guys do. And even if you don't maximize your time when you're around your son and show him the way,
33:49
show him how to do it. I guarantee you, it'll be a good benefit for everybody.
33:53
All right, guys, before we let you go, we're going to do a quick resilience boost.
33:56
As you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating manly resilience.
34:00
Specifically, we do that by providing content that for just spiritual, mental and physical
34:04
toughness. So today, all I want to do is that was a long, a long story. I'm glad you guys hung
34:08
around with me. I just want to give you the website. So if you are ever in the kind of Fort Worth
34:13
area, I want you to go check out Drive Exotic. I am they're not a sponsor of this. They don't know
34:17
that I'm even doing this. They probably don't even know that this podcast exists. But all I know
34:21
is this was a really awesome time. And I had a lot of guys that are sons that thought about this.
34:26
And they're like, Oh my gosh, I need to do that for my dad. So if you have an experience like that,
34:30
that you can go to, you can check that out. But I made sure to put their pot or another podcast,
34:34
but their website address here. So you can check them out. All right, guys, thanks so much for
34:37
listening to the podcast. I really do appreciate it. If you would, please subscribe on iTunes,
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SoundCloud, Spotify or Google Play and refer your friend's solution. Guys, if we deserve a five-star
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review, that is how this podcast is going to continue to grow. So when it is safe for you to do so,
34:49
please leave us that five-star review and leave us a few sentences letting us know why you like
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the content. Guys, I'm currently booking speaking engagements for the remainder of 2019 and 2020.
34:58
So if you want me to come speak at your men's event, at your conference, to your team, to your
35:02
company, whatever, hit me up info at undaunted.life. That's the email I N F O at undaunted.life. The
35:09
website is www dot undaunted.life. And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undaunted.life
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or facebook.com backslash undaunted life. Check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible
35:18
app. Just search undaunted life under plans. And as always, we want to thank the band August Burns
35:22
Red for allowing us to use their entire music library for our content. The intro outro track
35:27
on this podcast is our song King of Sorrow, which is off their latest record entitled Phantom Anthem.
35:31
The links to all of this are in the description. I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep cultivating
35:37
manly resilience. Keep forging spiritual, mental and physical toughness. Keep seeking the lion of Judah.