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080 - GO THERE

May 30, 2019 26m 50s Full transcript available
080 - GO THERE
0:00 / 26m 50s
In this episode, I challenge you to push beyond your limits and embrace the discomfort that comes with true growth. It's time to go to that dark place in your mind where resilience is forged, whether in workouts or life itself.
Transcript
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0:59 "This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast. I'm your host Kyle Thompson. Let's get into it."
1:16 "Alright guys, the concept we're going to be talking about today is going to be a short one because you got a little bit of a bonus episode on Memorial Day on Monday."
1:22 "But this is a very important topic and it actually ties into what I actually did on Monday."
1:27 "So, if you listened to episode 79 of this podcast I talked about, Memorial Day and a lot of different things, and I mentioned that every Memorial Day, I do a workout called the Murph Workout."
1:37 "So most of you listening to this know what the Murph Workout is. If you want more details on that, go back to episode number 79."
1:42 "But essentially, it's a physical challenge that I do annually and it's just a good barometer for me."
1:48 "It's a good barometer for me to understand where I'm at physically."
1:52 "Because if I struggle mightily with that workout, it means that maybe I'm not in good shape at that moment."
1:57 "I know it's just a snapshot in time, but typically, if you do really well doing something like that, it's because you're in a good spot."
2:04 "And for that workout, it's tough. It's a mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 air squats, and then another mile run, and you're supposed to do it with a weighted vest, and I do it with a 25-pound weighted vest."
2:15 "So it's absolutely tough no matter what kind of shape that you're in. But that's not the point of this podcast here today."
2:22 "The reason why I wanted to come to you and talk to you today is because I've been thinking about the time that I did the MURF Workout in all week, because to do all the things that I just listed a second ago, it took me 35 minutes and 3 seconds."
2:38 "I beat my personal best time by about 10 minutes, because one of my goals for this year was to get under 45 minutes, and I did that and I obliterated that goal, and one of the other things I did is I didn't do any MURF specific training leading up to that."
2:51 "But today's podcast is not about, you know, sports-specific training or all those different things. I'm learning more about that. I was even talking with a professional trainer today about that, but that's not really what we want to talk about here."
3:05 "The concept that I want to talk about here is go there. Go there. And so I'll explain what I mean by that. And at different points during this podcast, you're going to be like, "Well, shouldn't you have said going there? But again, it'll all make sense here in just a second."
3:21 "So the way that I'll get into basically talking to you about this is there's a good buddy of my name Russ, and he is the guy who you hear me talk about on this podcast all the time. If you're in the Oklahoma City, Edmund Arie, you know, basically come see us on Sunday nights. We have that group of guys that gets together, about a dozen of us. We're reading books and we're talking about them, but then we also do a circuit training workout, and then we train a little bit of Jiu Jitsu."
3:42 "Well, Russ is the one that is in charge of that class. He's been running this for basically 10 years. He's a purple belt in Jiu Jitsu. Good athlete was a collegiate football player. And he just turned 41, I believe. But, you know, good dude, good dude to have in the community. He's a good guy to have in your foxhole."
3:59 "But he and I were having a conversation months ago. And I can't remember the context. I don't know exactly where it came from and where it came up. But he basically was like, Kyle, I feel like I'm struggling. I'm kind of paraphrasing our conversation here.
4:11 But essentially, the gist of it was, I feel like I'm struggling getting to that place mentally while I'm working out. And I was a little bit confused. I was like, what do you mean that place? Like, like, what do you mean? He's like, well, you know, when I was playing football or growing up being an athlete, because again, this is a very athletic guy, he's like, I felt like different times during a workout or, you know, late in a game when you're tired or whatever the situation might have been.
4:33 He's like, I felt like I could go to this dark place inside my soul. And it would like push me through a very hard workout or a hard rock or a hard hike or whatever the thing might be, right?
4:46 And so one thing that I started to do is when we were doing our circuit training on Sunday nights. And so we typically do like a 15 minute to 20 minute long circuit. It's pretty difficult. It's one minute on and like five seconds to rest in between workouts.
5:02 Are in between exercises and some of those exercises are everything from, you know, flamingo burpees, which are like one legged burpees, you know, we are picking up, you know, 90 pound dummies and slamming them down, hanging from a pull up bar.
5:14 Like it's a bunch of different things, but your heart rate is essentially up the entire time. It's very, very difficult.
5:20 So one thing that I've started to do during this workout is at different points, I will look at Russ who will maybe, maybe he's on a different mat, maybe he's across the room.
5:28 And I'll just scream at him. Go there. Like, go there. Go to that place. And I can see him getting tired. We're all getting tired, right?
5:37 But he's getting tired and sometimes when he gets tired or really when anybody gets tired, you do what? You take a rest, right?
5:44 I'm just going to, you know, I'm just going to take, you know, five seconds. I'm just going to take 10 seconds. I'm just going to catch my breath.
5:49 But the thing about that is when you go to that place mentally, that, that dark place where you're so focused in pushing yourself and getting through the discomfort and getting through the pain, that's not when you're taking a break.
6:04 That's not when you're taking a rest. And so that's basically the concept I want to talk about. I want to talk about go there.
6:11 And one quick thing before I really get into what my thought process is on this, because I don't think this is like a thing. If it's a thing online, you know, hit me up, let me know.
6:19 But what I'm not talking about is flow state or flow.
6:23 So some of you guys may have heard of that before, maybe enough athletic prowess or maybe while you're studying for the bar exam or, you know, for some sort of examination or something like that, it's you get into flow state, right?
6:34 And things just like you're just hyper focused and you're able to get through something and you can feel all of your internal feelings and emotions and all of your energy going in one direction.
6:45 That's not what I'm talking about.
6:47 I'm specifically talking about this in a physical context.
6:52 When you are in the process of doing something that is unbelievably difficult physically, and it's taxing you also mentally at the same time.
7:00 And you're unable to get through it.
7:03 And I'm not talking about grandiose things necessarily.
7:06 So I'm not saying this is the 99th mile of 100 mile ultra marathon, but I'm not saying it's not that either.
7:12 But for a lot of guys, it's okay, I need to do burpees for a minute.
7:17 And then I'll be done with this workout.
7:19 And for whatever reason, around the 32nd mark or the 42nd mark, just got to take a break.
7:26 I just got to take a rest.
7:30 And then you do.
7:32 You get that little shot of dopamine in your brain that says, okay, I've stopped.
7:37 I can kind of take it easy for a second.
7:39 And then you finished the last 10, 15 seconds or so of that workout.
7:42 And then you feel good about yourself.
7:46 But that's the thing guys is if you're going to cultivate physical and mental resilience on a daily basis, which is obviously what we tell you guys that you should be doing.
7:55 You can't do that.
7:57 You certainly can't make a habit of it.
7:59 And so to kind of tease this out a little bit, because I can almost sense that you guys might be a little bit confused like, okay, what exactly you're talking about Kyle, this seems like a little bit of woo woo.
8:08 Let me talk about the elements of go there.
8:11 Okay.
8:12 So there's several elements that I kind of think through whenever I think about going there, right?
8:16 The first thing is you can physically train yourself to go there.
8:21 So it's kind of one of those things. Let's look at the scenario that I just brought up in, you know, you're the 99th mile of a hundred mile race or something like that.
8:28 The thing about most of you guys listening to this, you could probably go couch to 5k.
8:33 I mean, reasonably, I would assume the overwhelming majority of you guys listening to me right now.
8:38 Even if you're not in shape at all right now, I bet you could put yourself through through a 5k.
8:44 Was that 3.14 miles? Like you could do that.
8:46 Like, you know, basically hydrate, make sure your shoes are on right and then just go, right? You could probably push yourself to do that.
8:52 But you could do an ultramarathon like that.
8:55 Like that's not just sheer wheel, like, you know, will and determination at that point.
9:00 You've got to train yourself.
9:02 And so for some people, they're just physically in good enough shape to where they can do those last 15 seconds of burpees and it's going to be no big deal to them.
9:10 Now, it's going to be difficult because burpees suck for everybody, but you can physically train yourself to where go there is easier, right?
9:18 And another element is like the first one and that's you can mentally train yourself to go there.
9:24 So for some of you, you had tough upbringings.
9:28 For some of you, it was difficult for you to read or perhaps you had to study twice as long as your friends to get, you know, a grade that was anywhere commensurate to theirs.
9:37 And so you've had a lot of mental training because the thing is, is when you go there, you have to be in the right mental mindset, the right mental mind frame.
9:46 And if this is something that you cultivate on a regular basis, hopefully a daily basis, it's certainly something that you can, you can knock out that you can actually train your mind to be ready to go there.
9:59 Now, another element of that that I think is important, so we're going to kind of downshift before we shift up again, is you have to be careful when you go there.
10:07 Okay. And so just to kind of be clear about what I'm saying, I'm not saying, oh, because maybe that's where Satan lives. He's going to get you. That's not exactly what I'm saying.
10:14 Okay. But on Monday, when I was doing the Murph again, I knew I was on record pace for myself when I was doing the second mile.
10:22 So again, the second miles after you've already ran a mile, did a hundred pullups, 200 pushups and 300 squats with the way to invest on.
10:29 But that second mile, that's all you got to do and you're done. You're done for the rest of the day. You nailed it, right?
10:35 Well, about two or 300 meters into that second. Well, not exactly. Yeah, probably about that far. So let's just call it 300 meters into that second mile.
10:45 I'm overheating a little bit. And the thing is, is I'm pretty in tune with my body. So I know when I'm when I'm in the danger zone.
10:54 And so I was kind of having this internal dialogue of, okay, which is going to come first. Am I going to, you know, vomit and then pass out? Am I going to pass out and then vomit?
11:03 Am I going to crap my pants? Like what's going to happen here? Because I was in a bad place. And so I did something that I almost never do on a run.
11:10 I stopped where I was and I dropped down and just squatted down and just focused on my breathing for about 30 seconds.
11:18 So I didn't cheat. I didn't start walking and say, Oh, yeah, I finished the mile whenever, you know, you walked a couple hundred meters. No, I just stopped exactly where I was.
11:26 So I didn't lose my place in the mile. And I just focused on my breathing because I had to get my heart rate down just a little bit.
11:32 I had to gather myself before I could continue because I felt like I was in a little bit of a danger zone, right? Just just a little bit, right? It wasn't that hot outside, but, you know, I had gone faster than I had planned to, right?
11:43 And so you do have to be careful when you go there. You have to listen to your body, but you can't use that as a crutch or an excuse be like, Well, I think I might not feel good if I continue pushing myself.
11:53 Most of you guys are pretty in tune with your body. So you should listen to it. Okay. So the next element is go there can become an unconscious response.
12:03 And I think this should be the goal for everybody that your body and your mind knows when it's go their time and it just does it, right? It just does it.
12:16 It's familiar with that feeling of mental weakness and physical weakness. And you're just like, Nope, we're going there. Go there. That's exactly what we're going to do.
12:27 And kind of the next element which is attached to it is you have to choose to go there.
12:33 Because here's the thing is whether you're physically trained for it or not or mentally trained for it or not, if you're being careful, if it isn't unconscious response, and this kind of goes, it's got a little bit of a dichotomy from the last one, you still kind of have a choice.
12:46 Even if it's an unconscious response for some of you. You still have a choice where I am cognitively aware at this moment that I only have 20 more seconds worth of burpees, but you still have a decision.
13:01 You can always gear down. You don't always have to gear up, right? But if you're going to go there, you have to choose to.
13:09 Which leads to the last element here of go there, which is discipline will get you there. Motivation will not.
13:17 Discipline will get you there. Motivation will not because here's the thing is if you do what discipline requires of you, go there is easier for you to understand.
13:27 But people who are on a constant search for motivation, go there isn't really on the menu for them.
13:33 Because for the most part, if you need to be motivated to go there, it's typically because there's a coach next to you or a teammate or you've got someone in your ear saying, you can do it.
13:43 Come on, push, push, push. You got the crossfit coach saying, do a hundred more burpees, you know, do a whole bunch more stupid pull ups, like whatever the thing is.
13:51 That's exactly what you're needing. But you're not always going to have that.
13:56 And I'm not saying this is always going to occur in maybe a life or death situation where you don't have that coach. It's just basically you got to make it across that lake or you're going to die like that could be the case.
14:07 But for most of us, we're never going to be put in that situation. But we do need to be ready for it. And in those situations, motivation might not be there.
14:16 Because maybe you're tired, maybe you're cold, maybe you're wet, whatever the situation is. But if you're disciplined, that will help you get there.
14:24 Because you have to think about it. If you're going to physically and mentally train yourself to where you can go there.
14:29 And I'm starting to get the sense that maybe you don't know what I'm talking about. But, you know, we'll continue going here a little bit.
14:34 But physically and mentally, the way that you get yourself ready is by being disciplined in your approach.
14:41 So let's go back to the 100 mile ultra marathon thing.
14:44 You don't get there by having undisciplined diet or an undisciplined workout schedule or an undisciplined sleep schedule.
14:51 Now, are there going to be times when your body is basically saying, "Hey, we need another 30 minutes of sleep?"
14:58 Well, at that moment, discipline is going to tell you, "Well, if we're going to reach our goal, we've got to be able to train.
15:04 The time to train is now. Let's get up." Right?
15:08 Or, you know, I'm just so busy today and I know I was supposed to run tonight, but gosh, I think I'd just rather sit around and watch Netflix.
15:15 Not saying there's anything wrong with you watching shows on television, but what does discipline require of you?
15:21 And so to be a little bit more clear about a lot of these things is, I think the easiest thing for me to do,
15:29 I guess, would be to explain what would stop you from going there, okay?
15:33 And again, the whole concept of go there. I hope it's landing with you.
15:36 It's that dark place in your brain where you're so focused and there's a 0% chance you're going to quit.
15:43 You're just, you're not going to quit on this workout. You're not going to quit on this roll.
15:47 You're not going to quit on this run. You're not going to go there. Sorry, no pun intended.
15:52 Like, you're just not going to physically or mentally shut down.
15:55 And that's what we need to talk about now is what stops somebody. What stops you from go there?
16:02 What stops you from being in that place mentally where you can't go there?
16:06 And these are actually pretty simple and pretty straightforward.
16:09 The first is that you're mentally weak. Surprise, surprise.
16:13 For a lot of you guys, you have not focused on physical resilience whatsoever.
16:18 And so you show up to a jujitsu gym and do a workout.
16:21 You show up to a personal training facility where you're getting one-on-one training.
16:25 You show up at, you know, some sort of a physical challenge, you know, a turkey trot or something like that,
16:30 and you're just physically weak.
16:32 And the more physical weakness you have in you, the farther you are away from go there.
16:38 And the second is just like a guy's mental weakness. You're mentally weak.
16:44 So for a lot of you guys, you just can't possibly fathom in your brain going to that place.
16:51 To that dark place where you're pushing yourself way beyond what you think you're capable of.
16:57 Because you're mentally weak. You haven't tried to cultivate it.
17:01 Mental resilience is never something you've even attempted, right?
17:05 But we could even be a little bit more practical about what's stopping you from go there.
17:09 And one is that your workouts are just too easy.
17:12 That's what I see with a lot of my friends, right? And for all of us, we're all on a journey, right?
17:17 For the most part, we're all on a journey of truth.
17:20 We're on a journey of trying to figure ourselves out and figure out what's going to be good for our bodies
17:24 at the ages that we are, all those things. And I get it.
17:27 But the overwhelming majority of guys that I know that work out at least somewhat, their workouts are super easy.
17:34 You don't even have an opportunity in your head to go there.
17:39 You don't even have that opportunity. Because you're just jogging a mile and calling it a day.
17:46 Or you're going to the gym and you're more focused on Instagram or what song you're listening to
17:51 or who you can have a conversation with. And you'll sneak in a few sets here or there.
17:55 But you're not really going to push. You're not going to superset anything. You're not really going to go heavy.
17:59 You know what I mean? It's just I'm just trying to get through the day. You're basically trying to check a box.
18:04 Check a box and move on, right? Your workouts are just too easy.
18:08 And the thing is, guys, is I'm not advocating that you go into the red zone every time you work out.
18:13 And I'm certainly not advocating that you go there every time that you work out.
18:16 There's a lot of wisdom that says that's a bad idea.
18:19 But when you never have a hard workout, when you're never panting so hard that you're like,
18:25 "Oh, gosh, I'm not sure. I'm ever going to catch my breath." It's because your workouts are too easy.
18:30 Another thing that stops a lot of you guys from go there is you're surrounded by doughboys.
18:35 You're surrounded by a bunch of other weak dudes.
18:39 There's nobody in your life that is pushing the limits.
18:44 Like you're surrounded by guys that think, you know, walking on the golf course is a tough workout.
18:50 You're surrounded by guys that think, "Ah, you know, as long as you can run a 5K, you'll be okay.
18:55 You don't need to do anything more than that."
18:57 You're surrounded by guys that, "Oh, I don't want to go to the jujitsu, you know, they're all sweaty and touching each other."
19:03 You know what I mean? Like, you're surrounded by guys like that.
19:07 And that's the thing with guys like that. They're going to keep you comfortable.
19:11 Those are not going to be the guys that push you.
19:13 Those are going to be the guys that, if y'all go on a hiking trip and you're at altitude,
19:16 they're going to be the one suggesting that we keep taking breaks.
19:20 That's all. Just kind of catch our breath.
19:23 Maybe we can hook our ponytails together and sing songs, right?
19:27 That's those guys.
19:28 You're not surrounded by guys that are going to push you,
19:31 that are going to make you go beyond where you're currently capable of,
19:35 or at least what you think you're currently capable of, right?
19:39 I mean, you've got a lot of guys in your life that, you know, if you say,
19:42 "Hey, let's get a set of 10," and on nine, they're going to be like, "Ah, well, you know,
19:46 you look like you're struggling. How about we stop?"
19:48 You need guys in your life that if you say you're going to do 10, it's like,
19:51 "All right, cool." And in the middle of the set, they're going to be like,
19:53 "You're doing 12." And isn't it weird?
19:56 It's like you can almost dig down and find that extra gear and get that 12th rep knocked out.
20:01 I'm just saying. If you're surrounded by guys like that,
20:04 don't expect to go there to be easy.
20:07 Another thing that stops us from going there is you've never been there before.
20:12 You've never been in that mental state where I can't possibly run another meter.
20:19 I cannot possibly keep up this pace.
20:22 There is no way that I'm going to make it until the end of the clock.
20:26 There's no chance.
20:27 You've never pushed yourself to that point.
20:31 And so that stops you from going there because you've never even visited.
20:36 Which leads to the last point of this podcast, which is the biggest reason
20:41 that people stop themselves from going there is that they're scared.
20:49 They are absolutely scared.
20:52 And so I certainly have guys in my life.
20:54 There's guys that I'm around quite a bit.
20:56 Is they are scared to death of going to that place?
21:02 And again, guys, I'm not advocating that you try to enter into the dark world or, you know,
21:07 summon any dark spirits and not what I'm saying.
21:09 I think a lot of you understand that, especially if you have an athletic upbringing or something
21:13 like that.
21:14 Like there's just that place where the only explanation for how you got through that so
21:20 fast or how you made it to the end of that race or any of those scenarios was you went
21:25 to a place mentally that you can't operate at all the time, all the rest of the time.
21:31 Like this is not an optimal, optimal modus operandi for most situations.
21:36 You do not want to be in this mental state when you're trying to give a bath to your
21:40 kids.
21:41 You do not want to be in this mental state.
21:42 Whenever you're given a presentation at work, you do not want to be in this mental state
21:45 when you're practicing for a test or, you know, working on your chip shot.
21:49 That is not what we're talking about.
21:50 This is a place that you've got to be able to get into and then get out of as soon as you're
21:55 done.
21:56 But for most of you, you're scared.
22:01 And so the biggest thing I think, aside from laziness and lack of discipline that keeps
22:06 guys from being physically and mentally resilient is this.
22:10 They're just scared.
22:11 That's it.
22:12 And so my encouragement to everyone that's listening to this podcast is you need to really start
22:18 pushing yourself.
22:20 The overwhelming majority of people that you're around and probably you included, you've just
22:25 never thought about pushing yourself beyond a limit.
22:28 And the only places where you typically push yourself are the places where you're comfortable.
22:32 So maybe you're really, really smart and your job is really attached to your intellect.
22:38 And so you're like, Oh, well, I'm really pushing hard at work right now.
22:41 Bro, you're already smart.
22:43 Like we don't need to make you any smarter at this exact moment.
22:47 Like there are other things that we could focus on.
22:49 There's other things that we need to bring up to an acceptable level.
22:52 And so that's the challenge for all of you guys.
22:55 You already know that's the thing is we're 20 minutes plus into this podcast.
22:59 As I've been talking, you've already been identifying things in your life that you know you need
23:03 to get better at, that you've been weak on mentally or physically.
23:08 You know that already.
23:10 So I don't need to give you a list of suggestions of things that you need to go and try and fix
23:15 because you're already know better.
23:17 I don't have to do that.
23:19 So hit me up info at undaunted.life.
23:23 And I want to hear from you, right?
23:25 Or hit us up on Instagram, send me a direct message or something like that.
23:28 We're just at undaunted life on Instagram.
23:30 But let us know.
23:31 Let us know the things that you're pushing towards and let other guys in your life know.
23:36 Tell the guys that are in your accountability group.
23:38 Tell the guys that are in your Sunday school.
23:39 Tell the guys that are on the basketball team that you play on once a week or something like that.
23:43 Tell those guys.
23:44 Hey, I'm going to start pushing in this area.
23:46 Hey, I need your help on this.
23:48 Hey, bro, you're in really good shape and the next time we're all working out together.
23:52 I just want you to look at me in the eyes and scream go there, right?
23:55 That's working for us.
23:57 That's working for he and I because it's just that constant reminder that there's somebody in the room
24:02 that's watching and you made the mistake, which is probably the best mistake you've ever made,
24:06 to let that person know that you used to go there and you haven't been there in a while
24:11 and help me get there again.
24:13 All right, guys, before we let you out of here, we're going to do a quick resilience boost.
24:16 As you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is to cultivate mainly resilience,
24:20 and specifically we do that by giving you guys content like this podcast that helps you forge
24:25 spiritual, mental and physical toughness.
24:27 So today, what I want to share with you is a lot of you guys are Jaco podcast listeners,
24:31 but I'm going to take you all the way back to Jaco podcast episode number one.
24:36 So it's a little bit clunky on the front end.
24:38 You can tell the audio is not as good as their current setup.
24:41 I think there are almost a couple of hundred episodes in, but this one is about leadership,
24:45 ownership, and mental toughness.
24:47 And so I've got the YouTube link for you here.
24:50 Guys, if you have iTunes or SoundCloud or wherever you listen to podcasts, just go back to episode one.
24:55 I'm sure you can find it there.
24:57 But this is where he really gets into his basic philosophy of how to be mentally tough.
25:02 And if you don't know anything about Jaco willing, I think he is the quintessential soldier of
25:07 mental toughness, right?
25:08 And so that's the one thing I want to leave with you guys.
25:10 That's why this is a little bit of a shorter podcast.
25:12 You all have some time to spin with Jaco and Echo Charles on that podcast.
25:16 All right, guys.
25:17 Thanks so much for listening.
25:18 We always appreciate it.
25:19 Please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud or Google Play and refer your friends to listen.
25:23 Guys, if you share this on social media, make sure you use the hashtag undaunted life.
25:27 We'll be sure to find your post and give it a thumbs up.
25:29 Guys, if we deserve a five star review, that is exactly how this podcast is going to continue
25:33 to get out to more guys like you.
25:35 So don't just leave us that five star.
25:37 Give us two or three sentences, letting us know why you appreciate the content.
25:40 Guys, I'm currently booking speaking engagements for the remainder of 2019 and on into early
25:45 2020.
25:46 So if you want me to come speak to your men's group at your conference on your podcast,
25:49 whatever, just hit me up via email info at undaunted.life.
25:53 Our website is www.undaunted.life and you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at
25:58 undaunted life or Facebook.com backslash undaunted life.
26:01 You can check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible app.
26:04 Just search undaunted life under plans.
26:06 And as always, we want to thank the band August Burns Red for allowing us to use their music
26:10 library for our content.
26:11 The intro outro track on this podcast is their song King of Sorrow, which is off their latest
26:15 record entitled Phantom Anthem.
26:17 The links are in the description.
26:19 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
26:21 Remember keep cultivating manly resilience.
26:25 Keep forging spiritual, mental and physical toughness.
26:29 I'm seeking the lion of Judah.
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