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058 - You Mad, Bro?

January 17, 2019 37m 00s Full transcript available
058 - You Mad, Bro?
0:00 / 37m 00s
In this episode, I tackle the outrage culture that dominates online discussions, especially around contentious topics like abortion. I break down the reasons why people avoid meaningful conversations and encourage Christian men to engage in debate with love and resilience.
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In this episode, we talk about why it is so hard for many people to have discussions with people they disagree with on potentially controversial topics. People are plenty satisfied with flaming you online, but they get really quiet when you invite them for a sit-down conversation. Why is that? Let’s get into it…

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Transcript
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1:01 This is a Daunted Life Man's Podcast.
1:13 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
1:15 Let's get into it.
1:16 Alright guys, so here's the thing.
1:18 People get mad and they get mad online and when they get mad online, they like to flame.
1:24 They like to go crazy.
1:25 They like to show how indignant they are and how angry they are.
1:29 But then they just like to leave it there.
1:32 So I'll kind of back into this a little bit.
1:34 But here recently, I shared an article on my personal Facebook page and it was an article
1:39 by Life News.
1:40 So Life News is a very pro-life anti-abortion website and they basically put out something
1:46 that said that the leading cause of death worldwide in 2018 was abortion.
1:52 That 42 million babies were murdered and obviously being pro-life and this being a very anti-abortion
1:58 organization, they made sure to use the actual word, not the euphemistic word, but they used
2:03 a word murder a lot in the podcast.
2:06 And so I just shared it on my Facebook and you know, it's kind of one of those things
2:09 where there are people that like to pull the pin on their grenade, throw it in the middle
2:13 of the room and then just kind of casually walk out.
2:15 I'm not really one of those people, but I did want to make sure that people knew that
2:18 this was this was up there because everyone's concerned with cancer.
2:22 Everything's concerned with all these other things that lead to death and you know, you
2:25 have the opioid crisis and you have suicide going up in the United States.
2:29 You have, you know, the life expectancy of Americans have gone down two years in a row
2:33 and that's the first time that's happened in, I don't know, almost 100 years or something
2:37 like that.
2:38 But abortion worldwide killed 42 million people.
2:42 So I shared it.
2:43 And then, you know, you get the people that agree with you and you get the people that
2:46 disagree with you and the people that disagree with you or, you know, basically just trying
2:50 to say that you're stupid or how could you be so bigoted?
2:52 Why do you hate women, blah, blah, blah, all the normal stuff that comes up with abortion.
2:56 But here's the thing, it doesn't matter what you post about this.
3:01 In this case, I posted about abortion, obviously a very controversial topic, but when it gets
3:06 to a certain point, discussions can start online, but they're not appropriate to continue them
3:12 online.
3:13 Just like when you get these diatribes by people back and forth and you get these long, you
3:18 know, five, six paragraph responses on Facebook, that's not exactly the best forum to do something
3:23 like that.
3:24 Because you can spend hours and hours and hours crafting a response.
3:27 You get other people's input.
3:28 Some people will have other people write their stuff for them.
3:31 I know I've had people literally getting a debate with me and plagiarize literally like
3:35 take stuff from articles and then I throw it into Google and like, oh, you just jacked
3:40 this from somebody else and pass it off as your own.
3:43 But it's not an appropriate form to continue that discussion.
3:46 So what I like to do is I like to keep things very cordial.
3:48 I like to keep things very polite, but I like to invite people to discuss things with me
3:53 outside of that form.
3:55 So you know, you could post something about abortion, post something about guns.
4:00 I personally have done this about those two subjects.
4:02 Also, you know, I made some not so popular opinions of mine public about what was going
4:08 on kind of with the Oklahoma teachers going out on strike last year.
4:11 And you know, I tried to say how much I supported teachers, but hey, you know, it's their, it's
4:15 their job that they've chosen and they know that the pay sucks and it is what it is.
4:19 And just people don't like these opinions, but I genuinely like having discussions with
4:23 people that disagree with me.
4:24 As long as the goal is that we can both shake hands and part ways as friends, as long as
4:28 that's the goal.
4:29 We're both aiming for that goal that we might disagree, but we shouldn't hate the other person
4:33 that I'm always looking for that.
4:35 The unfortunate thing is, is since I've been inviting people to do coffee or have a discussion
4:42 over a drink on any one of these topics, I today have had zero people take me up on that
4:48 zero.
4:51 And I always invite them cordially, you know, I'll invite them on the same Facebook comment
4:56 string or on Twitter or whatever the thing may be.
4:59 Sometimes I'll text them if I have their number or I'll send them a private message or something
5:02 like that because I don't need to show everybody, Hey, look how cordial I'm being.
5:05 I'm inviting them to a one on one public discussion, you know, whatever the thing might be.
5:10 I'm not doing it for that.
5:11 But no one has taken me up on it because again, yeah, these discussions start online, but
5:17 it's appropriate to take them offline.
5:18 I invite them to do so and they go quiet.
5:23 And if they don't go quiet, the excuses just are flowing.
5:26 Oh, you know, I wouldn't even dares it down with someone like you.
5:30 You're just too big at it.
5:31 Oh, I couldn't possibly sit down with someone that has the opinion that you do.
5:36 You just hate women.
5:37 You just hate people of this religion.
5:39 You just hate gays.
5:40 You just hate whatever the thing is, whatever their excuse is, it's a stiff arm.
5:43 It's an excuse.
5:44 And the thing that comes to mind for me is how can people be so righteously angry in their
5:51 own minds and yet turn down an opportunity to discuss it?
5:56 Because these people treat these topics like it is be all end all.
6:00 There is nothing on this planet that is more important than this topic at this time.
6:04 And that is why they are going to spend their entire afternoon thinking of their response
6:08 to whatever it is that I said beforehand or whatever people that agree with me said beforehand.
6:12 It's just stunning.
6:14 It's astounding to me.
6:15 And it's something that I just kept thinking about and kept thinking about and wondering
6:18 why people do this.
6:20 We live in this modern outrage culture.
6:23 You know, my, my generation, you know, has been called a slow snowflake generation because
6:27 we just can't handle things.
6:29 We have Gen Zers that have their safe spaces and they just can't possibly have somebody
6:32 challenged their point of view on a particular issue without them needing to cry or run to
6:37 an adult that will help them.
6:38 But I just kept thinking about, okay, why is this the case?
6:41 Yeah.
6:42 I mean, guys, you know me.
6:43 Like I just can't just let a sleeping dog lie.
6:44 I'm just looking at an issue and wondering, okay, what are the things that we can pull
6:48 from this?
6:49 What can we learn from this?
6:50 And then obviously I'm always thinking of things that can help you guys.
6:52 So I thought of I kind of encapsulated all and distilled it down into these five things.
6:57 The five reasons why people avoid these conversations.
7:01 So somebody has invited you.
7:03 They're on two sides of a very important issue, call it for whatever, anything that we mentioned
7:07 already.
7:08 Maybe it's immigration, maybe it's about Islam, maybe it's about economics or whatever the
7:12 thing is, you know, you both disagree coming into the conversation.
7:16 Why?
7:17 What are the top five reasons for people avoiding these conversations?
7:19 So the first thing is, is they're afraid of their ignorance being exposed.
7:24 That's why people won't get into these conversations because I think some people know that they
7:29 can spout a few little pithy comments, things that they may be gotten from somebody else,
7:35 maybe someone they follow on Twitter or some sort of a talking point from their party or
7:40 some of their favorite people or their organizations.
7:43 It's just these comments that they throw out there, you know, but they don't have any backing
7:47 for them.
7:48 They don't really understand why they said such a thing.
7:51 They just know that this is something that they've heard paraded by somebody else and
7:54 then they parrot themselves.
7:57 But the thing is, is we all kind of have this general fear of our ignorance being exposed.
8:01 We don't ever want to seem like we don't know something.
8:03 If you go back to my podcast on the 15 ways to avoid being a crappy guy in 2015, number
8:08 15, remember, it was just like, don't pretend that you know about something that you don't
8:11 actually know about.
8:12 That wasn't the exact wording I'm trying to remember, but like that's essentially the
8:15 thing is most of us, we don't want to be ignorant.
8:17 We don't want to be left out, you know, FOMO, we have fear of missing out.
8:20 We don't want to be the person that doesn't understand a particular topic or know what
8:24 everyone else is talking about and you think that you, you build it up in your brain that
8:28 if you go into one of these conversations and you don't know all of the different things
8:32 that are a part of it that you can't possibly engage in the conversation.
8:35 So the first reason is they're afraid of their ignorance being exposed.
8:38 The second reason is that they're mortified at the thought of being wrong.
8:43 So this is different than ignorance.
8:44 They're absolutely mortified to the thought of being wrong.
8:47 And so what most people will do is they will literally stick their head in the sand.
8:52 They will just pretend like nothing is happening.
8:54 They will close their eyes, cover their ears and just pretend that nothing is happening
8:58 around them.
8:59 That is the easiest thing for them to do.
9:02 And so ultimately these people become frozen.
9:04 They become paralyzed with fear because if they're found out as ignorant going back to
9:09 the first one, but then also if it's found out that they're definitively wrong, it just
9:14 really cuts against everything they are as a human because their entire life they've
9:17 been right.
9:19 So think about this, I think about this for my generation millennials, but also Gen Z,
9:23 you've spent your entire life being correct.
9:26 So every time you were offended at something, someone said, Oh yeah, you're right.
9:29 You know what they shouldn't have done that.
9:31 Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
9:32 What can I do for you?
9:33 It's like, Oh gosh, there's probably some other ways of doing that that's going to help
9:36 build some resilience and build some confidence in these people and steal their resolve.
9:40 But you know, they don't really like to do that.
9:41 So the second reason is that they're mortified at the thought of being wrong.
9:45 The third reason is that they have no interest in knowing if they are wrong.
9:49 So this is attached to the previous one.
9:51 They have no interest in knowing if they are wrong.
9:54 So here's the thing.
9:55 I told you guys a lot.
9:57 I told you this a lot on the podcast.
9:59 The big thing is, is the thing that has saved me from a lot of these useless debates, whether
10:04 this is in person or on social media or any of these types of things, is that if I'm wrong,
10:10 I want to know it.
10:12 But I always like to ask people when the conversation gets to a point where it seems like it might
10:15 get a little bit heated, I ask someone, if you were wrong, would you want to know it?
10:21 If you were wrong, would you want to know it?
10:24 But the thing is, is these people don't have an interest in knowing if they're wrong or
10:29 not.
10:30 I'm desperately interested in knowing if I'm wrong or not on a subject.
10:34 That's why I like to research subjects.
10:36 That's why I like to challenge my philosophies by not just listening and reading a bunch
10:40 of things, listening to or reading a bunch of things that are just going along with what
10:44 I already believe the world to be like.
10:47 Because I look back every year, every five years or so, and I kind of do a little bit
10:51 of a census in my brain of the things that I used to think were true, the things that
10:54 I used to think were appropriate.
10:56 And, and again, guys, I say this all the time as well, you should always be able to look
10:59 back at who you were five years ago and be a little bit embarrassed.
11:03 You know, it doesn't mean you were a complete screw up five years ago, but you should be
11:06 getting better.
11:08 I mean, you should be getting smarter, you should be having more well thought out philosophies.
11:12 You should be sharpening your sword a little bit better in all these different areas, right?
11:18 And so if you have no interest in knowing if you're wrong or not, it becomes an issue.
11:22 And that's the thing for these people.
11:24 They don't want to engage in these discussions because they just don't have an interest in
11:26 it.
11:27 They just want to scream online.
11:29 They just want to put some statements out there and have their friends get on there and
11:32 like their comments and then everybody just moves on with their day.
11:36 So the third thing, they have no interest in knowing if they're wrong.
11:39 The fourth reason is that they don't have the foggiest idea how to comport themselves
11:44 in a debate.
11:45 They don't handle themselves.
11:46 They don't know how to behave.
11:48 These people are just emotionally fragile.
11:52 And so some of them go into a debate and they just get super nervous.
11:55 They get tongue tied and they basically contribute nothing to the conversation.
11:59 Then you have people that get into a debate and they have no idea how to control their
12:02 emotions.
12:03 I remember a few times suggesting you guys sharing or I've shared the Stephen Crowder
12:07 videos, they changed my mind segments and you see these people that once they realize
12:13 that he's not going to let them just continue moving the goal posts of their argument that
12:17 he wants to nail them down and get them to stick to one issue to where they can have
12:20 a cordial discussion about it.
12:22 Some of these people just flip out like they either cry, they run away or they start yelling
12:28 as if by, you know, by writ of volume that they would be able to make the point and win
12:35 the argument because they raise the level of their outrage and they raise their voice.
12:39 And I just got to tell you, I have no idea of a time in my life where I won a debate
12:45 and it was on the right side of the debate because I screamed loudest.
12:49 But that's the thing is these people don't know how to handle themselves.
12:52 And it's a really horrible quality to have because life is really tough.
12:57 Life is full of tough decisions and tough times in your life.
13:00 And if you don't know how to handle yourself, even with a friend of yours that just wants
13:05 to know where you land on a particular issue, good grief, you're going to have issues moving
13:10 forward.
13:11 How in the world are you going to encourage a child to not be emotionally fragile if you're
13:14 sitting there like, you know, you're made a glass.
13:18 It's an issue.
13:19 So the fourth is they don't have the foggiest idea to how to comport themselves in a debate.
13:23 And the last one is simply that they're cowards.
13:27 These people for the most part are keyboard, tough guys and gals, right?
13:31 They just, they can say all the things that they want and they can be mega confident and
13:36 mega intellectual as long as they're behind the keyboard.
13:39 They are petrified of confrontation.
13:42 The idea of sitting down in front of somebody, oh buddy, because then there, there's no,
13:47 they have to filter.
13:49 I mean, that's the thing that you see all the time.
13:51 If you look on Twitter, Twitter is especially bad for whatever reason, but look on a Twitter
13:56 account of like a famous person, even if they post something, you know, a picture of their
14:00 dog or a picture of their family going out to eat or just something really, really polite
14:04 and nice.
14:05 Just look at the comments like they are astounding.
14:09 Some of them are violent.
14:10 They're vile.
14:11 They're sexually gross.
14:13 I mean, the, the things that you see people say they would never have said these things
14:18 in person because that's the thing that we run into with the social media generation is
14:23 in 140 or 280 characters, you can just stream of consciousness, whatever's in your brain
14:28 and just put it out there into the world.
14:31 And my goodness, like most people's thoughts just need to stay in their brains.
14:36 And I just got to be honest, if there was a transcript of the thoughts that I had in
14:39 a 24 hour period, you guys would be mortified just a good, then you know, this would be the
14:44 same way with you as well.
14:45 Like we're all jacked up.
14:47 We all have ridiculous things that go on in our brain and we think of horrific things
14:51 in a day in, day out basis and it's just normal because it's in our brain.
14:55 And 30 years ago, even 20 years ago, 15 years ago, we didn't really have a forum to just
14:59 let those thoughts out.
15:01 And now we can.
15:03 And so what this leads to is if you are a naturally cowardly individual, you will get
15:08 a little puffed up at the opportunity to get at somebody, right?
15:13 I'm going to say what I got to say, I'm going to say my piece, you know, I'm even going
15:16 to confront this person.
15:17 I'm going to insult this person.
15:18 I'm going to call this person stupid, I'm going to call this person ignorant, whatever
15:21 the thing may be.
15:22 And there is a zero percent chance that you would have said that to their face, zero percent
15:27 chance.
15:28 And I feel like a lot of us have been have been there, guys, you get a little bit brave
15:33 when you're behind that keyboard, because you know that person is not waiting for you
15:37 outside your door, right?
15:40 Now you might see them that week at school.
15:42 You might see them that week at work.
15:44 You might see them at the next family reunion, whatever the thing may be.
15:47 But by that time, everyone's had a chance to cool off and maybe they'll forget what
15:50 I said and that kind of nonsense.
15:51 You're not expecting them to ring the doorbell, right?
15:54 So again, guys, to recap here, the top five reasons why people avoid these conversations.
15:58 Number one, they're afraid of their ignorance being exposed.
16:01 Number two, they're mortified at the thought of being wrong.
16:04 Number three, they have no interest in knowing if they are wrong.
16:07 Number four, they don't have the foggiest idea how to comport themselves in a debate.
16:11 And number five, they're cowards.
16:13 And so in turn, guys, obviously I'm always looking for opportunities to help give you
16:17 guys any wisdom that I'm able to espouse on any of these topics or to distill these
16:23 things down to where you can use them.
16:25 But while I was thinking through the list of reasons why people would not want to engage
16:28 in these discussions, I was thinking of reasons why we should be engaging in these discussions.
16:34 So here are the top reasons why Christian men should welcome debate.
16:40 And I know this is going to rub some of you the wrong way.
16:43 I know some of y'all really, really align with the previous five things that I just talked
16:47 about that you avoid confrontation.
16:50 You don't like taking things offline.
16:52 Maybe I'm talking about you.
16:54 So if that's you, I am describing this to you in a way to help you change.
16:59 For those of you that are this way, maybe I want to give you a few more things to think
17:02 about when you are leaning into these debates.
17:04 All right.
17:05 So number one, the early church fathers didn't shy away from public debate, okay?
17:12 So how did Christianity spread?
17:14 It's spread by people boldly proclaiming the gospel message.
17:18 And again, the people that spread the gospel initially were not people that just heard
17:22 about the gospel.
17:23 These are people that saw Jesus, saw the resurrected Jesus spent time with the resurrected Jesus.
17:30 Okay.
17:31 These are not people that just heard from a person who heard from a person who heard from a person,
17:34 right?
17:35 These are people that had direct contact with Jesus himself and or the men that he walked
17:40 around with for three years of his worldly ministry, right?
17:44 And guys read the book of Acts.
17:46 The book of Acts, I feel like doesn't get nearly as much play as it should.
17:50 The book of Acts is full of debate because these men are going into these environments
17:54 that are not very cordial to them.
17:57 These are hostile environments and they're spreading a message that was so anti everything
18:02 that was being espoused at that time because it was, it was either an atheistic worldview
18:08 or it was just basically a Jewish centric worldview that Jesus was not the Messiah.
18:14 Or it was the Roman worldview with with all these different gods that you had to worship
18:17 and sacrifice to and in all these different things.
18:20 It was such an insane time to claim that there was a singular God and the singular savior
18:26 was Jesus.
18:27 Absolutely insane time to do that.
18:29 And these early church fathers didn't give a crap.
18:32 They walked right into the lines, didn't over and over and over and had these conversations.
18:36 They didn't shy away from it.
18:38 And the thing was, is you can be bold without being a [inaudible].
18:42 Like you can absolutely do that, that you can go into these situations, have these conversations
18:46 with these individuals, change their minds, change the minds of the people that are paying
18:49 attention to you and listening to this back and forth.
18:52 And that's an incredible thing and it's incredibly powerful.
18:55 So number one, the early church fathers didn't shy away from public debate.
18:59 And this leads right into number two.
19:01 The reason why Christian men today should welcome debate is because current high profile
19:05 church leaders do shy away from public debate.
19:09 Now, I worded that very carefully because I know everyone that's listening to this probably
19:14 thought of a video on YouTube or a podcast where they heard a pastor or theologian or
19:19 somebody like that get into a debate with somebody.
19:21 Again, I've suggested a different podcast to you before and different videos to you before
19:26 where that is the case where you have people on the opposite sides of the issue.
19:30 And there's the unbelievable podcast with Justin Briarley that they constantly do that.
19:34 They usually have someone on the secular side of an issue and someone on the Christian side
19:37 of an issue.
19:38 And they do a fantastic job of showing great cordial debate, but I'm talking about our
19:42 church leaders, our pastors, our main lead pastors, they shy away from public debate.
19:48 And so I'm thinking of, you know, look at your Joel Osteen's, your Carl Lynch's, your
19:52 Steven Fertix, your Andy Stan Lee's, your Craig Rochelle's, like these, these mega church
19:58 type people and I'm lumping them into that category of mega church, they don't like to
20:03 have debates in public.
20:04 They don't like doing that.
20:06 And I think it is to the detriment of the people of God.
20:11 I honestly think that because these people are the leaders of the church, but they stay
20:18 behind their people that they're leading these people.
20:22 They're going to have to give an account for how they've adjusted themselves to lead the
20:25 flock, but they are not going out in the world and in defending Christ in a way that would
20:32 be, be exciting for us or be a time for us in their flock to learn from them.
20:39 So it's an issue for me because some of my favorite pastors and some of the pastors I
20:44 listed, I do, I do appreciate them and like some of the things that they do, but they
20:47 don't like to get into these public debates and it would be helpful.
20:50 It doesn't mean that they have to be rude.
20:52 It doesn't mean that they have to like cut people off or, or show people like the nasty
20:56 sides of their personalities or any of that, but it's just like, man, I would love to see
21:02 on the, on the news on, on some big news channel, maybe it's Fox news or CNN or MSNBC, I would
21:08 love to see one of these lead pastors be the person that is interviewed because they've
21:13 got a, an opinion on an issue and they need to share it with the world because their opinion
21:19 should directly reflect what the gospel says and directly reflect what the other parts of
21:23 the Bible says, but they don't like doing it.
21:27 Typically your pastors that like to go into these debates are not widely known.
21:31 You know, not everyone knows who Jeff Durbin is, right?
21:34 Like not, not everyone knows, uh, the, the guys from cross politic that don't mind going
21:38 into these different issues with people that are on the opposite side where it could get
21:43 a little bit nasty.
21:45 But even for me, like again, the guys that I really like, you know, Matt Chandler and
21:50 Tim Keller and all these guys that I really do like and appreciate their ministries, it's
21:54 just like, man, I would really like them see, like to see them be a little bit more bold.
21:58 I'd like them to stay outside of the church walls long enough to where they could get
22:02 into a public debate with somebody because people are going to see that.
22:06 People are going to come to Christ.
22:08 Like I love what RZIM does.
22:09 I love what Ravi Zacharias and his crew does because they're going into these hostile environments
22:14 all over the world and in America, they're going to technically hostile environments at,
22:18 at university campuses and they're challenging the way people think.
22:22 It's like, look, if, if this is what you're thinking you are wrong, it is not an opinion.
22:26 You were just flat out wrong, but then there are times where there is an opinion and they're
22:30 giving an apologetic, they're giving a reasoning behind why they think their opinion is best,
22:35 why it is more reasonable to believe in this thing as opposed to that thing.
22:40 But we're not getting that from our church leaders and I don't know why.
22:44 Like what would be the loss?
22:46 Potentially they embarrass themselves.
22:48 You know, maybe Matt Chandler gets on the other side of the stage from, you know, Stephen
22:52 Pinker or, you know, another one of the new wave atheists or something like that.
22:57 What's the worst that could happen?
22:58 A bunch of atheists in the crowd sneer at you and laugh.
23:01 They do that anyway.
23:02 Like what would the problem be?
23:04 And so this is my challenge to any lead pastors that listen to this or people that have direct
23:08 lines to lead pastors need to encourage them to do this.
23:12 There's nothing wrong with it.
23:13 Have public debate.
23:14 Make sure there's a lot of people around because you're probably going to be able to
23:16 share the gospel and get people closer.
23:18 All right, guys, the third thing here is that cordial debate is a great way to show someone
23:23 the love of Christ.
23:24 Okay.
23:25 So John 1334 35 is one of my favorite two versus one of my favorite groups of verses.
23:29 This is Jesus talking to his guys.
23:31 It's at the last supper.
23:32 He's talking to him and this is like his lean in moment.
23:35 Guys lean in.
23:36 If you don't hear anything else that I say tonight or if you haven't heard anything I've
23:38 said for the last three years, this is what I want you to take away, right?
23:42 A new command I give you.
23:43 Love one another is I've loved you so you must love one another by this.
23:47 They will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.
23:51 Here's the thing about love guys, placating someone and telling them that they're doing
23:58 it right or that everything they're doing is acceptable is not love.
24:03 That's the thing that people love to say.
24:04 I was just listening to a public forum today where someone said, why can we believe in the
24:09 God of Christianity when all that Christian seemed to do is hate people, right?
24:15 That they just don't love people even though they espouse to love people, right?
24:18 Well, it's because of your definition of hate because for you, your friend that is transgender,
24:24 you're trying to affirm that.
24:26 You're trying to affirm this, but what you're doing is you're affirming a mental illness.
24:30 This person needs help and here you are saying, no, man, you look great in a dress, right?
24:34 It's not something you should be doing.
24:36 You're not loving that person by doing that.
24:37 You're actually performing hate.
24:40 That's what you're doing in that situation.
24:42 But the way that we can show love in a public debate is by controlling ourselves, by remaining
24:48 calm, by being stern when we need to be stern, by interrupting when it's appropriate to
24:54 interrupt, by never attacking the person, but always attacking the stupid ideas.
25:00 One of the best, two of the best people that I've seen do this that I've mentioned a billion
25:04 times on this podcast are Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro.
25:07 So Ben Shapiro is normally in, you know, a staged environment where he is behind a podium
25:11 and people are asking him questions.
25:13 And then they have a little bit of an interaction with him on the stage and them in the audience.
25:16 So just the fact that he is on stage with the bigger microphone and they are in the audience
25:19 with someone who can snatch the microphone from them at any moment, Ben Shapiro is always
25:23 in a place of power.
25:25 So it's not exactly like a public forum debate, but he has been across the stage from people
25:30 where he has done physical, he has done actual debates.
25:32 And he is one of the most skilled debaters that we've seen in certainly modern conservatism.
25:38 But during Peterson, most of the time when he's in these debates, it's when he's sitting
25:42 down in front of somebody doing an interview, he's in several of these very, very contentious
25:47 interviews where the interviewers were just trying to get them.
25:50 They were trying to get them to say something or they took like one line out of one article
25:54 or one speech that he did and they blew it up to this large thing and they're making
25:57 him have to defend it as if it's some sort of like herculean issue.
26:01 But at the end of the day, these guys both remain calm.
26:05 Now they'll get stern at different points, they'll be a little bit more bold, but they're
26:09 still calm.
26:10 They're controlling themselves.
26:12 It's an incredible thing to watch.
26:14 And so if we're able to do that as men of God, we can show the love of Christ by showing
26:19 these people, look, you got the Amago day.
26:21 I appreciate that you were willing to sit down in front of me, but this is where we disagree
26:25 and this is where you're wrong.
26:26 I think that's a great way to do that.
26:28 All right, guys, the fourth reason why Christian men should welcome debate is it is an amazing
26:32 way to cultivate mental resilience.
26:34 An amazing way.
26:35 Because here's the deal, if you go into a debate with somebody, you should be prepared.
26:40 Don't show up to a gunfight with an unloaded gun.
26:43 Don't show up to a gunfight with a knife, then you know, it's kind of one of those things.
26:46 You got to be prepared.
26:47 And when you're going down and sitting with somebody, that doesn't mean you need to show
26:49 up with your binder with all of your points and you've got your bullet points ready to
26:53 go and you've got your script memorizing all those different things.
26:55 No, you don't need to do that nonsense, but come prepared, man.
26:59 Come ready to go because if they start bringing nonsense and you can't tell them why they're
27:04 wrong, you might as well just talk about sports.
27:07 You might as well just, you know, share recommendations of, you know, movies or something like that.
27:11 Don't talk about anything real because you are not prepared, brother.
27:15 It's kind of like showing up to the Boston Marathon when you have it ran since high school,
27:19 not going to be a good day for you.
27:21 The odds are you finishing or infinitesimally small and also you're a moron.
27:25 You wasted a bunch of money to show up and basically make it through the first mile.
27:29 Maybe it's an issue.
27:31 You should never show up unprepared.
27:32 So in the process of preparation, you're cultivating mental resilience because you're looking at
27:38 subjects that maybe you're not that familiar with.
27:41 You're looking at arguments that you agree with, but also hopefully you're looking at
27:44 arguments that you don't agree with.
27:46 You're trying to figure out how you can sharpen both sides of the sword, both sides of the
27:50 blade.
27:51 And so that's a very important thing for you to do.
27:53 And you're going to cultivate mental resilience just almost via osmosis.
27:56 It's just going to kind of happen by virtue of the process that you're going through.
28:01 But then when you follow through, when you actually sit down in front of somebody, you're
28:05 probably going to have butterflies in your stomach, understand that they probably do
28:08 too.
28:09 I mean, the entire conversation doesn't have to be this incredibly tense moment.
28:13 You'd start off just by getting caught up and doing whatever.
28:16 And then you kind of ease your way into the discussion and let it go where it goes.
28:19 And it's an amazing thing to practice when you're trying to keep somebody centered on
28:23 an issue because that's the thing that you run into because again, I tend to be on the
28:27 political right, I am conservative, and one of the best things that people like to do
28:31 in a debate, especially if you align with the political left is let's just move the goal
28:34 post.
28:35 I talked about that earlier.
28:36 So here's the thing with abortion.
28:38 So you start with, okay, when is it a life?
28:41 And when they start losing that argument, when you start showing them that scientists
28:44 completely disagree with whatever they're asserting, then they move to something like,
28:47 Oh, so if someone's raped, they should just have the baby because it's alive.
28:51 They were raped.
28:52 Okay.
28:53 And then you start talking about that about how women that are raped or victims of incest,
28:56 but that's about 1% of all listed reasons for abortions.
28:59 What about the other 99% Oh, well, so if a mom is definitely going to die, she she gives
29:03 birth, she has to go all the way, go through it.
29:05 And then you start addressing that and then it's like, Oh, okay.
29:08 So you're a man and you're going to tell a woman how to how to deal with her body.
29:11 You kind of see what I'm saying.
29:12 They constantly move around.
29:14 That is a great thing for you.
29:17 When someone starts doing that in a debate, it's because they're losing.
29:20 They're getting desperate.
29:21 They're just chucking up Hail Mary's hoping that you don't know something about a particular
29:25 subject.
29:26 You're going to be able to cultivate that mental resilience by keeping them centered.
29:29 So if you have a central thing that you want to talk about, talk about that one thing.
29:34 Okay.
29:35 But then at the same time, if you get to a point where they're just hopping around everywhere,
29:38 you can call them out on it and just be like, Hey, it seems like you're hopping around to
29:42 a bunch of different subjects.
29:43 Why is that?
29:44 Leave it open ended.
29:45 They'll just keep throwing up Hail Mary's.
29:47 They'll keep burying themselves.
29:48 It is what it is though.
29:50 But again, it's an amazing, amazing way to cultivate mental resilience and we shouldn't
29:54 try to avoid situations like that.
29:56 Our guys in the last reason for why men, why Christian men should welcome debate, it's
30:01 because if someone is wrong, they need to know it.
30:04 If someone is wrong, they need to know it.
30:07 And guys, this includes you.
30:11 I know I'm sitting here and it might seem like every time I go into a debate that I know
30:14 I'm right.
30:15 I'm just going to go in and defend the fact that I'm right.
30:18 But there are times when I've left debates and I was like, Oh buddy, I was wrong about
30:20 that.
30:21 Damn.
30:22 They just dropped some knowledge on me.
30:23 It's a problem.
30:24 I shouldn't have had that blind spot.
30:26 I'm so appreciative that they pointed that out to me.
30:29 I wish they hadn't because I wish I had just known and didn't have to have another human
30:33 being say that to me.
30:35 But the thing is, is if you're on the right side of an issue, you need to correct people.
30:40 Because here's the thing.
30:41 If you're having a debate, you're probably not having a debate about something stupid.
30:44 You know, which team should have been in the college football playoff?
30:46 Okay.
30:47 Which guy should have won the Heisman?
30:48 Like who do we think is going to get divorced in Hollywood this year?
30:50 What are the stupid thing that it is that you like to talk about with your friends when
30:54 you're getting into a debate?
30:55 It's about something serious.
30:56 Think of whatever serious thing that's going on in government or in society or any of those
31:00 types of things that would cause you to have any of that angst when you're talking with
31:04 somebody.
31:05 These are real issues.
31:06 And here's the thing, not everybody can be right.
31:10 Not everybody can be right.
31:11 I had a guy last night that I was just trying to get him to admit that there was one best
31:16 way to do this particular thing.
31:18 He's like, oh, well, you could do it this way.
31:20 And I said, no, no, no.
31:21 I'm being specific here.
31:22 I'm talking about the best way to do this.
31:24 There can't be multiple best ways because definitely that doesn't work that this is the
31:29 best way to do this thing.
31:30 And he just couldn't quite get that, but, but that's the thing is if somebody's wrong,
31:35 you need to tell them.
31:36 I mean, just think about it.
31:37 I can't really think even off top of my head of a silly example, but just think if you
31:41 kept doing something wrong your entire life or maybe shoelaces, maybe like tire shoes and
31:46 every single day your shoelaces come untied because you've been tying them wrong.
31:50 Like why wouldn't you want someone to show you a way so you can tie your shoes to where
31:53 they say tie it all day?
31:55 Like there's so many examples like that out there that don't make huge societal shifts
32:00 and changes, but some of the discussions that you might have with people can have that effect.
32:06 And you should lean forward into those opportunities as many times as you get them.
32:10 So guys, just to recap everything that we talked about, the top five reasons why people
32:14 avoid these conversations, these debate conversations are these number one, they're afraid of their
32:19 ignorance being exposed.
32:20 Number two, they're mortified at the thought of being wrong.
32:23 Number three, they have no interest in knowing if they are wrong.
32:25 Fourth, they don't have the foggiest idea how to comport themselves in a debate.
32:30 And fifth, they're cowards.
32:32 And guys, again, the top five reasons why Christian men should welcome debate.
32:36 Number one, the early church fathers didn't shy away from public debate.
32:39 Number two, current high profile church leaders do shy away from public debate.
32:44 Third, cordial debate is a great way to show someone the love of Christ.
32:48 Fourth, it is an amazing way to cultivate mental resilience.
32:51 And fifth, if someone is wrong, they need to know it.
32:55 So guys, we hope that is helpful for you and we hope you're able to utilize some of this
32:59 and enact it in some of the ways that you do life and how you walk through life with
33:03 your friends.
33:04 All right.
33:05 Before we let you guys out of here, we're going to do a quick resilience boost.
33:06 As you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is to cultivate manly resilience.
33:11 And specifically, we do that by providing content that for just spiritual, mental and
33:15 physical toughness.
33:16 So today we're actually going to shift gears a little bit.
33:18 We're going to talk about physical resilience.
33:20 So I don't know if all of you know this and if you're not currently following us on Instagram,
33:23 you can find us at undaunted life on Instagram at undaunted life.
33:28 Every Tuesday I post a workout of the week, okay, sometimes I'm showing you different
33:32 moves.
33:33 Sometimes I'm just describing different moves.
33:35 I've got a list of things that you should do there and in the description, I kind of
33:37 show you.
33:38 So I've got a link here for the workout of the week that we posted this last week for
33:42 Tuesday, January the 8th.
33:44 So this is a ladder high intensity interval workout.
33:49 I forgot about what it was.
33:50 It's a high intensity interval training.
33:53 So hit training.
33:54 So this is an insane workout and it is going to absolutely kick your butt.
33:59 But I know I've got a lot of guys that have reached out to me say, hey, you know, I've
34:02 got some things going on right now with, with cash flow and so I'm having to work out at
34:05 home.
34:06 So I really appreciate these.
34:07 So I just want to make you guys aware that every Tuesday I've tried to change things
34:10 up, do a little bit of cardio, do a little bit of stretching type stuff, do a little bit
34:14 of power stuff, but this ladder hit, basically you're going to be doing these four moves
34:19 for 60 seconds each.
34:21 And then you get a 30 second rest and then you do those four moves for 50 seconds each,
34:26 30 second rest, 40 seconds each, 30 second rest, 30 seconds each, all the way down to
34:30 10 seconds each.
34:32 And so those four moves, you're going to do burpees, jump knee tucks, mountain climbers
34:37 and jumping jacks.
34:38 So 60 seconds of burpees.
34:40 When that's up, 60 seconds of jumping tucks, 60 seconds of mountain climbers, 60 seconds
34:44 of jumping jacks and then a 30 second rest.
34:46 And then 50 seconds of burpees, 50 seconds of jumping tucks, 50 seconds of mountain climbers.
34:51 You guys get the point.
34:52 It is absolutely brutal.
34:54 If you add all the time up, it's a fairly lengthy workout, but it's one of those where
34:58 you're just going to be tempted at different points to just take a rest to just sit there
35:01 and just like, okay, catch your breath, you know, put your hands on your knees, put your
35:04 hands on your head and just try to try to get some oxygen.
35:07 But the great thing about this hit workout is you get that 30 second rest and that 30
35:11 second rest, it's the fastest 30 seconds of your life, I can guarantee you that.
35:15 But then when you get into that next round, it's a little bit shorter each time, not that
35:18 it's going to get easier, but there's really not a whole lot of excuses for you to be taking
35:22 rest and taking breaks.
35:24 So guys, if you're wanting to get out there and cultivate physical resilience, our workouts
35:27 of the week are a great way to do that.
35:29 Guys, thank you for listening into the podcast.
35:31 Please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud or Google Play and refer your friends to listen
35:34 and make sure you share this on social media.
35:37 If you would use hashtag Undaunted Life, we will make sure to find the post and give
35:40 it a thumbs up.
35:41 Guys, if we deserve a five star review, that is what you need to do for us.
35:44 Everyone asks how they can help this ministry out.
35:46 Give us a five star review, leave us a few sentences that's going to keep helping this
35:49 podcast grow.
35:50 I'm currently booking speaking engagements for the entirety of 2019.
35:54 So if you want to interview me on your podcast, if you want me to come speak to your team,
35:57 to your church retreat, whatever the thing is, just hit me up via email info@undaunted.life,
36:02 info@undaunted.life.
36:04 Our website is www.undaunted.life.
36:07 You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @undauntedlife or facebook.com/undauntedlife.
36:13 Check out our free devotionals on the U-Virgin Bible app.
36:15 Just search "undaunted life" under plans.
36:16 And as always, we want to thank the band, August Burns Red for allowing us to use their
36:20 music library for our content.
36:22 The intro out to a track on this podcast is our song "King of Sorrow", which is off
36:25 their latest record entitled "Phantom Anthem".
36:27 Links to all of this are in the description.
36:29 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
36:31 Remember, keep cultivating manly resilience, keep forging spiritual, mental, and physical
36:37 toughness, keep seeking the Lion of Judi.
36:52 [Music]
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