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0:30
(Music)
0:40
This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.
0:43
I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
0:44
Let's get into it.
0:45
All right, guys, if you don't know by now, you should.
0:48
There's no way you shouldn't know this by now,
0:49
but I am a huge Oklahoma City Thunder fan.
0:53
So I've born and raised in Oklahoma.
0:54
I've lived in the Edmund, Oklahoma City area since 2004.
0:58
And so obviously when we got our first professional sports team here in this state,
1:02
I had to be a huge fan and have been a huge fan since then.
1:05
And so you've got the Ups and Downs as a Thunder fan.
1:08
You know, when they first came, they were like three and 20 something to start their first season.
1:13
And people would leave the stadium chanting for their favorite college team and things like that.
1:18
And so you've ridden the Ups and Downs.
1:20
You know, a young team goes to the NBA finals and loses.
1:24
And then you've got the MVP seasons and you've got, you know,
1:27
Kevin Durant leaving and you've got, you know, Paul George getting traded for it.
1:30
Like it's just been a roller coaster being a Thunder fan, but it's been a whole lot of fun.
1:34
But before the 2015-2016 season, there was a couple of interesting things that happened.
1:41
So the Thunder fired their head coach Scott Brooks.
1:44
And so this was going to be basically the third coach in the history of the Oklahoma City Thunder.
1:49
So the first one was PJ Carlissimo, and then it was Scott Brooks.
1:51
And then they were going to bring in another guy.
1:53
So they brought in Landon Donovan, who was kind of a first year NBA coach.
1:58
Of course, he coached at the University of Florida, had a couple of national championships
2:02
down there. But one of the things that kind of went under the radar was that the Thunder signed
2:07
an associate head coach named Monty Williams.
2:10
And so for NBA fans, you're going to know that name, obviously.
2:14
But Monty Williams was kind of a big hire.
2:17
And again, like I said, it went under the radar and I wasn't really sure how that went under the radar.
2:22
So for those of you who don't know who Monty Williams is, this guy was a first-round draft pick
2:26
by the New York Knicks, and he was out of Notre Dame. And even at the time, Notre Dame,
2:31
when he was a freshman in Notre Dame, rather, he had a heart condition.
2:35
And he had a doctor that basically told him, "Look, if you continue to play basketball,
2:39
it could kill you." I mean, this thing that's going on with your heart, it could absolutely
2:43
kill you. But he ended up still playing and figuring out a way to make sure that that could happen.
2:47
And obviously, he played well enough to get drafted in the first round.
2:51
And then after he got done with a short playing career, he went into coaching.
2:56
So he was on the staff for the 2005 NBA Championship San Antonio Spurs team.
3:01
And then right after that, he became an assistant coach with the Portland Trailblazers.
3:05
But then in 2010, he really got his first big coaching break when he was signed to a three-year
3:10
deal to be the head coach of the New Orleans Pelicans.
3:12
And so he ended up signing an extension just a couple of years later.
3:16
And he ended up, he eventually spent five seasons coaching the New Orleans Pelicans.
3:21
And so it was just a really cool thing for him. He did the normal NBA coaching thing.
3:27
He went to a couple of different teams and experienced some different things.
3:31
But here he was, the 2015-2016 season. He's got an MVP player in Kevin Durant and another
3:38
Super All-Star in Russell Westbrook. And you've got a team that you're thinking could really
3:42
vibe for a championship and a free agency year for Kevin Durant, just a really, really important
3:48
season. The first season for Scott Brooks not being there in a long time.
3:53
You've got this new coach, Landon Donovan. How's it all going to work out?
3:55
And the thing is, is we could have never really known what was going to happen in the lives
4:02
of Monty Williams in his film, Family. If you know the story, though, you kind of know where I'm
4:07
going with this. So on February 10th of 2016, Monty Williams' wife, Ingrid, was struck in a car
4:14
accident when her car was struck head on by another vehicle that had crossed over into her lane.
4:21
So she died in the hospital a day later. She was 44 years old and three of Ingrid's five
4:27
children were also injured in the car accident, but none of them were injured severely. So the
4:32
driver of the vehicle that killed Ingrid Williams was Susanna Donaldson. And so at the time, Susanna
4:39
Donaldson was under the influence of methamphetamine whenever the accident happened. The police investigators
4:45
said that she was traveling at 92 miles an hour whenever she lost control and crossed over.
4:51
And she was going 92 in a 40 mile an hour zone. It was on Western right here in Oklahoma City. So
4:57
those of you from here, you know where that is. And Susanna died there at the scene. And so
5:03
this was obviously a huge thing. It rocked the entire Thunder Organization. It rocked our city.
5:12
It certainly rocked the greater NBA family. And it's just a real tragedy. I mean,
5:18
I think that's a word that's thrown around a little bit too much now. Tragedy. Oh, that was
5:22
tragic. And a lot of times it's really, really not. But this was definitely tragic. And you know,
5:27
you start to see reports about, you know, how much Monty, you know, adored his wife and, you know,
5:32
the five kids and you're just wondering what they're going to do. And it was just kind of a crazy
5:36
time. I can remember being there just thinking how horrible that was. And you're seeing players
5:40
that you that you know and love that it either played with or played for Monty at some point and
5:45
their torn up. I mean, they're they're just super torn up for their buddy, for their mentor, for
5:50
for their coach, you know what I mean? But then a few days later, after the accident, after his
5:56
wife was killed, there was a memorial service, obviously, to celebrate the life of Ingrid Williams.
6:02
And so a lot of you have already seen this. But if some of you are unfamiliar with the story
6:07
up to this point, then this is going to really be a treat for you. I'm going to play the audio of
6:13
what Monty said at the memorial service. And again, if you've if you've heard this before,
6:19
it's not going to matter because I guarantee you're going to want to listen to it again.
6:22
But it's really one of the more powerful and one of the more moving things that I've ever seen
6:29
for a lot of different reasons. And I'm not going to spoil anything because I want y'all to experience
6:33
it. Now I have the audio for you here in this podcast, like I mentioned, but in the show notes,
6:38
there's the YouTube link to the actual delivery, the actual video of him delivering these these
6:44
thoughts and these comments. So if you'd rather watch it, you can pause this if it's safe for you to do
6:50
so and watch the video. But if not, you can just listen to it here. But before I start the audio for
6:55
you guys, I really want you to think like put yourself in Monty Williams's shoes. Okay. I want
7:02
you to think about the words that you would say, or I guess the words that you would want to say
7:08
if that were a situation that you were put in, where you were delivering comments at your own wife's
7:14
funeral. And just think about how you would comport yourself. Think about how you would walk into that
7:20
room, how you would handle everything that was going on at that time. Okay. So hits his comments
7:27
are about seven minutes long or so. So I'm going to go ahead and play that for you now. And then
7:31
we'll get back into some commentary thereafter. So here we go. Thankful for all that the people
7:39
who showed up today. So pretty tough time, not just for me, but for all of you as well. And I'm
7:48
mindful of that. I'm thankful for my family. My children have been unbelievably resilient
7:59
this past week. I'm all of my relatives who've flown and drove and many friends. Some people
8:07
flew in for the day just to spend a few hours with me and didn't even get that accomplished.
8:14
But it all is well received by my family and especially me. The Bible says in Psalms 133 1,
8:25
behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity. And I think that's what we've done.
8:31
And that's what Ingrid would have wanted. Psalm 73 1 says God is good. In 1 John 4 16 says God is
8:41
love. During times like this, it's easy to forget that because what we've gone through is pretty
8:49
tough and it's hard and we want an answer. And we don't always get that answer when we want it.
8:56
But we can't lose sight of the fact that God loves us. And that's what my wife and that's what I try
9:03
to however badly exhibit on a daily basis. But God does love us. He loved me so much that he sent
9:13
his son to die for my sins. And I for one know that I'm not the man that you guys see every day.
9:20
And only God could cover that. He loved me so much that he gave me a wife that loved every
9:28
part of me. And she fit me perfectly. And I know different players that I've had over the years
9:36
probably got tired of me talking about my wife. But I used to always think to myself like who
9:41
else was I going to talk about? So that never bothered me. Romans 828 says and we know that God
9:50
causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according
9:56
to his purpose. All of this will work out. As hard as this is for me and my family and for you,
10:05
this will work out. I know this because I've seen this in my life. See back in 1990
10:13
at the University of Notre Dame, I had a doctor look me in the face and say you're going to die
10:19
if you keep playing basketball. And I had testing, done, test after test, shipping me all over the
10:28
place to try to figure out a way for me to play. And it didn't work out. And I kept that from
10:34
Ingrid. She knew I was having some tests done but she didn't know the severity of the situation.
10:38
So my career was over at the age of 18. And we had a press conference and I left the press
10:49
conference by myself and I went to her dorm room and I told her what happened. And the very next
10:57
word out of her mouth, words out of her mouth after we probably cried a little bit, she said,
11:03
honey, Jesus can heal your heart. And I'm evidence that God can work it out. I don't care what you're
11:12
going through. This is hard for my family but this will work out. And my wife would punch me
11:22
if I were to sit up here and whine about what's going on. That doesn't take away the pain.
11:27
But it will work out because God causes all things to work out. You just can't quit.
11:37
You can't give in. See, the Bible says Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And America
11:45
teaches us to just numb that and it's not true but it is true. All you got to do is look around you.
11:51
Get outside of these walls and you know it's true. This will work out. Does it mean it's not hard?
11:59
Does it mean it's not painful? Does it mean we don't have tough times and we're going to have
12:03
tough times. What we need is the Lord and that's what my wife tried to exhibit every single day.
12:12
Now I'm going to close with this and I think it's the most important thing that we need to
12:17
understand. Everybody's praying for me and my family which is right but let us not forget that
12:24
there were two people in this situation and that family needs prayer as well and we have no ill
12:34
will towards that family. In my house we have a sign that says as for me in my house we will serve
12:41
the Lord. We cannot serve the Lord if we don't have a heart of forgiveness. That family didn't
12:48
wake up wanting to hurt my wife. Life is hard. It is very hard and that was tough but we hold no
12:57
ill will towards the Donaldson family and we as a group brothers united in unity should be
13:05
praying for that family because they grieve as well. So let's not lose sight of what's important.
13:12
God will work this out. My wife is in heaven. God loves us. God is love. And when we walk away
13:20
from this place today let's celebrate because my wife is where we all need to be and I'm envious
13:26
of that but I got five crumb snatchers I got to deal with. I love you guys for taking time out of
13:36
your day to celebrate my wife. We didn't lose her. When you lose something you can't find it. I know
13:42
exactly where my wife is. I'll miss holding her hand. I'll miss talking with my wife. Sam and coach
13:52
Donovan probably couldn't figure out why I always wanted to get out of the office. Me and Mo cheeks.
13:57
Mo probably wanted to go do something else but we always wanted to get out of the office. I just
14:04
enjoy being with my wife. I enjoy being with my family and most of the times we didn't do anything.
14:10
We just be at the house sitting around doing nothing. I'm going to miss that. Let's not lose sight of
14:18
what's important. God is important. What Christ did on the cross is important. Let's not lose sight
14:24
of that family that also lost someone that they love. I love you guys. I hope I get a chance to
14:31
hug and shake a hand and give a kiss on the cheek. But let's keep what's important at the forefront.
14:36
Thank you.
14:38
All right guys we're back. I mean how about that? I mean for guys who have seen that before or heard
14:48
that before. I mean just to revisit it it just it gave me chills again. I hadn't heard that
14:54
in a really long time. It's probably been a couple of years and I mean just incredible. And for the
14:59
guys that hadn't heard that before. I mean just think about that. Think about the circumstances.
15:04
The things that he said. How he said him. I mean it's just just incredible. So I do want to kind
15:11
of break down some of the things that he said. I do want to kind of go in and talk a little bit
15:14
about those things. And the thing that I found really really great and it kind of set the tone
15:20
really for the entire the entire thing that he talked about the entire time is he started with
15:25
scripture. And I know for a lot of guys especially I every time I mean think about how many times I've
15:30
asked you guys and begged you guys. Can y'all please please start reading read anything read the
15:34
Bible read a magazine read something. And so this is kind of one of those things that this is a guy
15:39
that's obviously gone to the Bible before in times of stress and he certainly went there this time.
15:45
So he brought out three scriptures they were Psalm 133 verse one Psalm 73 verse one and first
15:52
John four 16 so I'll read those out here to you because he just kind of said a little snippets of
15:56
them but Psalms one thirty three verse one. Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell
16:03
in unity. So obviously that that really did set the tone for all the people that were in the room
16:08
and how they were talking with one another and the things that they were doing to help
16:11
one another in that moment. And then he goes on into Psalms thirty three or seventy three rather
16:16
verse one Psalm 73 verse one and he basically pulled out the part that God is good and the totality of
16:22
that that verse is truly God is good to Israel to those who are pure in heart. And so he's really
16:29
kind of pulling out that theme that God is good that he is good even now and then he really drives
16:34
it home with first John four sixteen when he says God is love and that entire scripture is this.
16:39
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us God is love and whoever abides
16:45
in love abides in God and God abides in him. And so again guys he's talking about unity as a group
16:52
he's talking about how good God is and he's talking about how God is love. And this is that
16:57
funeral. I mean just think of the emotions that are in that room. I mean I mean think about all
17:04
the different things that have to be going through people's heads not just his but his kids the
17:08
extended family all the people that that you know they're really really close with. I mean just just
17:14
incredible to to start it there because you know guaranteed there's also people in the crowd that
17:18
are atheists right and any crowd of people that large you're going to have some atheists or
17:23
agnostics or people that you know just think quoting the Bible is is ridiculous. But when you're
17:27
talking about unity and how you know how God's God's there and he's good and he's love and all
17:33
those things it's definitely a tone setter. And then he the last scripture he mentions was Romans 8
17:39
28 and so this I felt like was the thematic scripture that he used really for the totality of the things
17:44
that he was talking about. And so this was the exact quote as he presented it. Romans 8 28 says
17:50
and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God to those
17:56
who are called according to his purpose. All of this will work out as hard as this is for me and
18:03
my family and for you this will work out. I remember the first time I heard that like when the first
18:12
time I heard him say it the first time I saw this video and that's all I could remember. Like there's
18:17
so many things to remember and I'm going to talk about even more of them here in just a second but
18:21
all of this will work out. This isn't the first couple of minutes of his comments you know at his
18:27
wife's funeral the wife of his five children. All of this will work out. This will work out. I mean
18:34
just just incredible that that you have a guy that's experienced this that has seen some of the worst
18:40
parts of humanity and how it can directly affect him and all he can come down to if you had to
18:46
break down this entire thing into into really one sentence about how he thinks about God it's this
18:52
this will work out. I mean it's super encouraging that had to just be amazingly encouraging
18:58
to a room full of people that were in mourning and I'm going to another quote here that he had so
19:04
here we go back to a quote from his commentary. I don't care what you're going through this is
19:09
hard for my family but this will work out and my wife would punch me if I were to sit up here and
19:15
whine about what's going on. That doesn't take away the pain but it will work out because God
19:21
causes all things to work out. You just can't quit. You can't give in. You see the Bible says Satan
19:28
comes to steal kill and destroy and America teaches us to just numb that and it's not true
19:34
but it is. All you've got to do is look around you get outside these walls and you know it's true.
19:40
This will work out. It doesn't mean it's not hard. It doesn't mean it's not painful. It doesn't
19:48
mean we don't have tough times and we're going to have tough times. What we need is the Lord
19:53
and that's what my wife tried to exhibit every single day. I mean again guys just super super
20:00
powerful stuff there again driving home his main point about this will work out. This is hard but
20:05
this will work out. We're not going to complain because this will work out. God causes all things
20:10
to work out but he kind of throws one thing in there where he's talking about you know how America
20:15
teaches us to just numb that right. So he was basically making reference to how Satan is prowling
20:21
all the time. Yes he is our enemy. He's the father of lies and he's coming basically to still kill
20:27
and destroy and he's not just coming to steal kill and destroy just random things. He's coming to
20:33
do those things to us directly but we do live in a country right now. We're kind of in this
20:38
postmodern world and we're in this post-Christian world which we've talked about a lot here on this
20:42
podcast where we we're just going to ignore that. I mean if we're going to ignore the Bible wholesale
20:47
we're certainly not going to talk about angels and demons right. We're not going to talk about God
20:52
and Satan that's not really going to work out and so that's the thing that I think is important that
20:57
he talks about here is in America now it's just teaching us to numb the idea that Satan is out here
21:04
trying to destroy us and look Satan's all over the situation guys. Satan was in that woman's life
21:12
who was abusing drugs and then decided to get into a car. Satan was all over that. Satan was all over
21:19
the the things that were happened with the first responders that had to see that and experience that
21:24
with the people that heard the story inside the family the Williams family. Satan's at work looking
21:30
for that opening that small opening to work its way in and the thing about it is is the greatest
21:35
slide the devil ever told is that he doesn't exist but he does exist and he's powerful and he's got a
21:41
lot of things that he can do to you and things that he can that he can do to really change the
21:46
trajectory of your entire life and I like how he puts that in there but he doesn't sit there and
21:52
dwell on it he just basically comes right for it and is like look guys that this is the way that
21:57
it is and Satan's real and Satan's here right now but we're not going to let him will and we're not
22:02
going to let him win. Like we are going to have tough times but God's still here God is still good
22:08
and God is still love. I thought that was great that that he kind of just slid that in there and
22:12
it was really important that he did that but one of the the craziest parts of this entire thing and
22:19
certainly as you're as you're listening to this it's like it's kind of a twist right right there
22:25
in the middle or actually more towards the end he says he's going to close but he implored everybody
22:30
everybody certainly in the room but the the guy knew that this was being videotaped and it was
22:35
probably going to be shown to to people around around the country and sort maybe even around the
22:38
world but he implored everyone to pray for the perpetrator of the hit and run. I mean it was
22:46
shocking. I'm like go back to the first time you heard that if it wasn't today and just think about
22:51
that. Two people died that day. There are two families in mourning. Here he is sitting in a
22:59
room full of people and if you want to judge things right you in this situation you had a righteous
23:04
person and you had an unrighteous person but you've got a good person and a bad person in terms of
23:09
how we normally constitute good and bad and how we categorize it but he he made sure
23:16
and he and he mentioned it again at the end he made sure that everybody was thinking about the
23:21
other person that had passed away and praying for that that person's family because even if they were
23:28
definably on on two opposite sides. Ingrid being good and Susanna being bad even if they were like
23:34
that. Can we assume that everyone in the perpetrator's family is bad as well? I don't think you can do
23:39
that. And there are people that are in pain and you know if this person was a methodic or something
23:46
like that the family may have been in pain for a really really long time. They just didn't think
23:51
they would lose their daughter or their or their aunt or or their sister to a car accident. They
23:57
figured it was going to be something else I had to do with the drug and they probably couldn't
24:01
have imagined that you know she was going to take another life in the process but just how powerful
24:06
is that? How amazing of Monty to point that out in that moment when he could have made some you know
24:14
very very very demonstrable negative comments about this woman and about methamphetamine and about all
24:22
the different things that are going on in the community with that and you know he could have just
24:27
crushed this woman in her entire family and everyone would have been like yeah you know it's a grieving
24:32
a grieving widow widower and you know it's just man it's tough but I can understand why I would
24:37
say that and he's like no I am a grieving grieving widower but no I'm not going to do that to that
24:43
family. He gave that family honor just incredible but really the the main quote really to me the best
24:50
quote of the entire speech and again you'll see it as the you know title of this podcast episode
24:56
but I'll go into the quote here God will work this out my wife is in heaven God loves us God is love
25:05
and when we walk away from this place today let's celebrate because my wife is where we all need to
25:10
be and I'm envious of that we didn't lose her when you lose something you can't find it I know
25:18
exactly where my wife is just I mean just outstanding I mean even listen into it again as I was preparing
25:26
for this podcast I listened to it a few times over even recording you know I went ahead and listened
25:30
to it again before I got into the second part of the commentary I know exactly where my wife is
25:36
that is a man who has a tremendous amount of faith and knowledge and knows he can feel it in his soul
25:44
that she's in heaven and he's going to see her again one day and again I know there's guys out there
25:50
that you know that are debating left and right about whether we will see each other in heaven
25:54
and I've heard compelling arguments on both sides but this is a guy that that's pretty sure of it
25:59
and I certainly would not want to be the guy that would claim otherwise but I mean really just a
26:06
fantastic way of doing things it wasn't over long you know it wasn't super preachy but it was
26:12
very very direct you know he didn't want anyone walking out there that day without knowing that
26:17
the gospel was real that the good news of Jesus Christ and the work that was done on the cross
26:21
was a real thing but as I kind of stepped away from listening to this and I've had a couple of years
26:28
even to digest it from whenever this first happened there's a lot of takeaways that that I've gotten
26:34
from the short little speech and the thing is as guys as I've gotten amazing amounts of information
26:40
and good things from you know three plus hour long podcast episodes and you know 20 minute Ted
26:47
talks and you know hour long presentations by a teacher or a professor or you know a 30 minute
26:55
sermon and all these different things but the seven minute little snippet of this guy's brain
26:59
while he was going through something as crazy as this I feel like I've learned a whole whole lot and
27:04
so I just wanted to distill that down to basically the five takeaways that I think would be most
27:09
beneficial for all the men that are listening to this podcast and the first one is this is that I
27:14
can't think of a more potent example of spiritual and mental resilience in the face of grief I mean
27:20
guys we talk about it all the time is you know a man is someone that cultivates spiritual mental
27:25
and physical resilience daily and just think to yourself could this guy have done this could Monte
27:32
have delivered the words that he delivered if he was not spiritually mentally resilient
27:38
the answer is no and guys I've read war memoirs and these biographies of these guys that have
27:44
overcome these crazy things and shown just an unbelievable amount of grit and resilience
27:48
but I'd never seen something like this in the face of grief this this was on another level
27:54
you know we've seen emotional please at at different funeral ceremonies and we've seen
28:00
the grieving widow you know standing in the rain whenever her husband's body's being taken off of
28:06
an airplane after being killed over in Iraq or Afghanistan like we've seen those incredibly
28:11
moving and emotional images but just the resilience that this man showed at that moment was absolutely
28:18
outstanding absolutely incredible the second takeaway that I want to talk about here is that
28:23
Monty Williams sets a new standard for empathy I mean no ill will towards that family I can understand
28:31
saying that but there's part of me that can't understand like thinking that even like I don't
28:38
know that I could do that I don't know that I could sit there and actually wish no ill will on
28:43
something like that if a tragedy took something that important away from me I'm just being honest
28:48
maybe you guys maybe you guys are better than I am but when it comes to me that would be a really
28:53
really hard thing for me to do and so it really is a new standard for empathy so when I think of
28:59
someone being empathetic and I mean in extreme scenarios this has to be up there as one of the
29:05
the the keystone examples that you would be able to use guys the third main takeaway that I want
29:11
to talk about is this is what true leadership is I mean you could go to Barnes and Noble or
29:17
at Amazon right now and you can just drown yourself in self-help leadership books and oh look at this
29:24
leadership example and look at that type of thing and I'm not knocking all those things there's
29:27
certainly a lot of great things you can learn from leadership you know we we talk about several
29:31
leadership books here on this podcast we've suggested some on our website like I get it but this is
29:37
leadership and action all five of his kids are sitting in the front row guys and think about the
29:44
things that he's talking about he could have been [inaudible] off he could have been you know railing on
29:50
the world and on everything and I don't even know if God exists anymore and blah blah and all that
29:54
and he was he was stoic he was a rock he was forceful in his language he was not going to allow
30:03
Satan to get a foothold in that room he showed as we've already talked about tremendous tremendous
30:10
empathy spiritual and mental resilience grit to a degree that is so hard to even fathom that's
30:17
leadership man like that is it's just so incredible like if that guy does nothing important for the
30:23
rest of his life this is literally his gift to humanity the words that he spoke on this day
30:28
just incredible the the for takeaway I want to go over is guys this is a gut check
30:34
and the gut check here is could you do that could you have done what Monty Williams did
30:42
during this speech and here's the thing guys is I've had to look at look at myself here
30:48
and you know we always want to put ourselves in the scenario so if we're reading a book or
30:52
we're watching a movie or you know someone's given a story or something like that you kind of put
30:56
yourself in that situation you're like what would I have done if the flood rises floods were rising
31:00
or what would I have done if you know my car was stuck in that mud I need to get out what would I
31:04
have done if the bulls were flying we always put ourselves there and I definitely do that like I
31:09
use my imagination a lot and sometimes it gets me in trouble and you know I'm sure we'll talk
31:14
about that someday but the thing about it is is I'm always going through different scenarios in my
31:19
head I'm the weirdo that the reason why it's hard for me to sleep sometimes or to fall asleep
31:24
is because the moment my head hits the pillow I start running scenarios in my head like okay
31:28
if someone breaks in through this door or this window I'll grab this gun or I'll go to this side
31:33
of the house or I'll blah blah I'll do that like I'm always thinking through that and I can't just
31:38
rest and let my my brain turn off it takes forever that for that to happen and I just dream of all
31:43
these crazy scenarios but I got to be honest and this may seem a little bit morbid but I'm sure
31:48
some of y'all can kind of level with me here I've thought a lot about what if my wife passed away
31:52
like like what if she got in a car accident or was murdered or you know just got sick
32:00
and passed away and in all those scenarios that I've drawn up in my my crazy ridiculous brain
32:07
I've never been happy and I've never been stoic and I've never been a rock in those scenarios I am
32:14
at the base level of instinct of how I would act just angry and bitter and shutting people out
32:24
and stopping taking care of myself and not taking care of anybody else and
32:28
that's what comes to my brain and it's because I know who I am you know there's people in the
32:37
public that see me and you know they see all the positives and all the optimism and the things
32:42
that you do but then you also know yourself and you know that when the chips are down you know how
32:47
you act and you know how you think but could y'all have done what this guy did I mean it didn't cry
32:56
didn't crack I mean it's not as if like crying would have been the worst thing to do there or that
33:02
you know it wouldn't have been totally acceptable but the dude's voice didn't even crack I mean I'm
33:09
sitting here and I got a frog in my throat right now just thinking about this you know what I mean
33:13
just thinking about the words that that guy said and applying it onto my life this actually happened
33:18
to him this actually happened to his family like his wife of his five kids like was taken away
33:25
from him his college sweetheart you know what I mean like that's crazy not didn't even crack
33:30
not even for a second and I just got to be honest if I'm ever in that kind of a situation
33:38
whether it's my wife or someone else that I love where where I've been entrusted to get up there
33:43
and say a few words I would hope that I could be that strong you know a year a year ago or so I
33:50
lost my great-grandmother and you know how that goes she was in her 90s and and she had been sick
33:55
for a while and you know she had lived a long life and had a lot of love and a lot of experiences
34:00
and when she passed my family you know asked me if I would deliver the eulogy and to me I'm like
34:07
jeez there's so many other people in the family that could have done that but you know my grandparents
34:13
and and all the other people they thought it would be good for me to do that and I was I was
34:17
absolutely honored to do that and I went up there and I did I did that um and as much as I love my
34:23
grandmother I can't imagine doing that with someone as close as my wife like don't get me wrong guys
34:32
I was really sad when my grandmother passed away she was the matriarch of our family for a very
34:36
very long time she was the rock that the rest of the family you know anchored themselves too you
34:41
know what I mean but even as close as we were there's there's no on this planet I am closer to
34:47
than my life and it'll always be that way and how would I handle that and and for you guys I want
34:54
you to kind of think about the same thing and that's where I'm I've spent a lot of time on this one
34:58
thing is it's that gut check what would you do how would you act because because you know how it is
35:04
guys a lot of life is preparation you know whether you're in ministry or in sales or
35:09
uh you know whether you play to sport a lot a lot of is that mental preparation like you're thinking
35:14
about what's going to happen if that deal doesn't close and what you're going to need to do to save
35:18
it you're thinking about that that person that is you know teetering between agnosticism and
35:24
Christianity and what you can do to help open up the Holy Spirit even more to them and you're thinking
35:29
about that scenario where you're tired in in the bottom of the ninth inning but the balls hit in
35:33
the gap and you need to run it down and go catch it like you think through those scenarios so that
35:37
when those things happen that your brain already has a you know a shorter circuit to get to the
35:42
solution to make you act to get you to go towards action so I would encourage you guys to really
35:48
think about how you would handle yourself in this situation I challenge you to do that right before
35:53
we listen to this and as even now as we're talking through it some more but guys the the last takeaway
36:00
I really wanted to go through here and this is probably the most important thing that that I could
36:06
I could possibly give you after hearing such incredible words and it's cherish your wives
36:10
I mean to you individually cherish your wife cherish your wife
36:16
I mean guys Proverbs 1822 you've all heard it and it's completely true he who finds a wife
36:24
finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord he who finds a wife finds a good thing
36:30
I mean guys I listen to guys complain about their wives all the time so much so that I have to say
36:37
hey is there can you tell me two nice things in a row about your wife oh she nags me and she
36:42
does this and she will can you say two things that you adore about her can you say five things in a
36:48
row that you would miss about her if she wasn't here anymore and guys for me it's situations like
36:54
this where I've been married nine years it'll be ten years next May and my wife she is my best
37:01
friend like I've got a lot of good friends but she's my best friend like she is literally incredible
37:08
she is so incredible to put up with me and my craziness and and my my insanity over the years
37:18
and the things I've done wrong to be there to help assist me as I'm trying to traverse through life
37:24
whether that's in business or in ministry or in personal growth like she's just there and that's
37:31
the thing that I never have to wonder about and I'm just like every single one of you there are
37:37
those times where I just don't cherish her the way that I should that I don't think of her in the
37:42
manner that she is that I don't treat her in the way that Christ you know thought about the church
37:48
and treated the church right you know that's his bride well I've been given one bride to which I
37:54
can become one flesh with and guys again I've done you know a lot of talking on this subject and if
38:03
any of y'all have talked with me individually I obviously talk about this a lot you have to fight
38:08
for your marriages you have to fight for the heart of your wife you have to protect her in the
38:12
spiritual realm from dark forces like you have to do all those things I understand that your wife's
38:18
not perfect would you look at yourself I mean I understand that she doesn't do all the things
38:24
that you would prefer I understand that you know the secretary at the office that you visit on sales
38:29
calls is cute and I understand that you feel stronger and better whenever you flirt with that
38:35
other chick at the restaurant and I and I understand all those things and I understand that your wife's
38:39
not nearly as hot as she was whenever you met her and that you know her body's gone down
38:43
downhill since she gave you a couple of children and all these different things all these stupid
38:47
things that I've heard people say you get one wife and guys I know I'm going to an area here
38:55
that's going to be uncomfortable because some of you listen to this are divorced and that's not
38:59
what this podcast is about but for a lot of you guys you know this you get one wife till you single
39:04
guys you young guys and I know they're they're out here listening so I appreciate you guys tuning in
39:09
you get one and that's how you should think about it you have to cherish them because what if they're
39:15
not there what if they're not there what if you don't have that rock anymore what if you don't
39:22
have that person to love it in an extreme way that's more extreme than we can even experience on this
39:27
earth other than the love of god right we have to cherish our wives guys and so I know it's it's
39:34
kind of a different tone for this podcast but I just couldn't think of a better scenario for
39:40
all this to think about our relationships with our wives and those that are most important to us
39:45
there there's so many lessons to learn here and guys I would if I were you I would go back and
39:51
listen to his words again you can skip me talking at the beginning skip me talking after but go back
39:56
to to the early part of this podcast and listen these words one more time or watch the video here
40:01
at the end in the in the show notes or whatever but you got to listen to it share this around
40:06
talk about this with some other guys but but really use this as an opportunity to think through what
40:11
you would have done in that scenario because you know you might have to someday so guys we're gonna
40:16
do a quick resilience boost before we get out of here as you know by now we are men's ministry
40:20
and our mission is cultivating mainly resilience and specifically we do that by providing content
40:25
that forges spiritual mental and physical toughness so today we're just going to keep the mental
40:30
resilience stuff going and so I put in the link here like I told you guys for him the speech that
40:36
he delivered I also put a link in here to another YouTube video where Monty Williams was presented
40:41
with the very first Sager Strong award and so Craig Sager was obviously obviously the guy who
40:47
who passed away he was a long time TNT basketball commentator he had the crazy jackets and ties
40:54
and all those types of things well when he died of cancer they created this new Sager Strong award
40:59
and Monty Williams won the very first one ever presented so it's his acceptance speech of that
41:04
award and then also there was a really really well done sports illustrated article called You Can't
41:10
Give In Monty Williams On Life After Tragedy and so that's a pretty good somewhat lengthy article
41:16
that will kind of give you a little bit more understanding of where Monty Williams was because
41:21
this just goes a little bit deeper deeper that kind of gives you some more insight to how this guy
41:26
has gone through grief and the stages that he's gone through to help protect his family and to
41:31
keep his five kids going so it's absolutely fantastic stuff all right guys thank you as always for
41:36
listening in this far into the podcast we really really do appreciate it if you would please subscribe
41:40
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41:45
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41:59
to get this podcast out to more people so please do that if you would I'm currently booking speaking
42:04
engagements for 2018 and the beginning of 2019 so if you want me to come speak to your company
42:10
to your church gathering to your Sunday school to your event please hit me up at info at undaunted.life
42:16
again that's info at undaunted.life our website is www.undaunted.life and you can follow us on
42:22
Instagram and Twitter @undauntedlife or facebook.com/undauntedlife you can check out our free devotionals
42:29
on the U-version Bible app just search the phrase undaunted life under plans and as always we want
42:34
to thank the band August Burns Red for allowing us to use their music library for our content the
42:39
intro outro track on this podcast is our song King of Sorrow which is off their latest record
42:43
entitled Phantom Anthem the links to all of this are in the description. I'm your host Kyle Thompson
42:49
remember keep cultivating manly resilience keep forging spiritual mental and physical toughness
42:56
keep seeking the Lion of Judah