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035 - 6 Hard Truths That Will Make You A Better Person

August 9, 2018 43m 55s Full transcript available
035 - 6 Hard Truths That Will Make You A Better Person
0:00 / 43m 55s
In this episode, I tackle six hard truths that can transform you into a better man. It's time to stop relying on niceties and start producing real value in a world that only cares about what you can offer. Let's get real about what it means to be a man of action and purpose.
Transcript
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0:00 LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business.
0:03 We cannot stop your new clients from emailing you at 3 a.m.
0:07 We can help you sell, market, and hire in one place.
0:12 We cannot help you be in three places at once.
0:15 And while we can't help you organize your calendar,
0:19 LinkedIn can help you land more clients so you have a calendar to organize.
0:24 Grow your small business on LinkedIn.
0:26 Learn more at linkedin.com/smallbusiness.
0:30 [Music]
0:40 This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.
0:43 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.
0:44 Let's get into it.
0:45 All right, guys, you know what I tell you all the time.
0:47 If you see some cool, share it with me.
0:49 All right, I get guys that will email me stuff.
0:51 I'll get guys that will leave messages on Instagram or just text me stuff.
0:55 Because from time to time, when you share something with me,
0:57 I'll look at it.
0:58 I'll think it's really awesome and I'll think it's something that I need to share
1:00 with the rest of you all.
1:01 So that happened just a few weeks ago.
1:04 I had a buddy who, a buddy mine in Wichita, Kansas.
1:07 You know, I've known him for a while,
1:09 but he's only been listening to the podcast for a few weeks.
1:12 And he sent me this article.
1:13 And it was an article that was written on cracked.com.
1:16 That's cracked like C-R-A-C-K-E-D.
1:19 .com.
1:20 And I don't follow this website.
1:21 I don't know that I've ever even heard of this website,
1:23 but I guess it's getting a lot of play.
1:25 And a lot of people actually have went to this website for a while.
1:28 There's a lot of dudes that actually are into it.
1:30 And it's an article that apparently back in 2012,
1:34 it was shared a whole bunch of times that the guy even like re-released it
1:37 and kind of got it all going again back in like 2017 or something like that.
1:43 I can't really remember.
1:44 But the title of the article is six harsh truths that will make you a better person.
1:49 Okay.
1:50 And so the title itself was enough for me to be like,
1:53 "Ah, well, I don't know." It's just kind of like some self-help-y type thing.
1:56 But it was talking about harsh truths.
1:58 I was like, "Okay, maybe there's some sobering details in here."
2:00 And then like I do with a lot of articles,
2:02 sometimes if it's a really, really short article,
2:04 I was like, "Ah, there's not much here.
2:05 I'll just skim it."
2:06 But it's a fairly lengthy article.
2:08 And so I was like, "All right, there's enough here for me to go ahead and take a look."
2:11 But when my buddy Brian said in the text,
2:14 and this was what I read before I read the article was this,
2:16 he said, "Sure, it's secular,
2:18 but Protestant and capitalist in its message without realizing it."
2:22 Big takeaway.
2:23 The world only cares what it can get from you.
2:26 Ergo, what are you offering the world?
2:28 And so, I mean, with all that kind of going into it,
2:30 I was pretty excited about reading this article.
2:33 And once I was done reading it, like, yes, it is incredibly secular.
2:38 But you kind of know how things happen,
2:39 and you see this sometimes in movies,
2:41 or in literature, or in blogs, or tweets,
2:43 even like people will say something,
2:45 and they're accidentally making the point they're not thinking they're making.
2:48 And, you know, sometimes to be fair, you might take something out of context,
2:52 and that may lend you to think that they're saying something that they're not saying,
2:56 like you're inferring some sort of meaning that's not actually there.
2:59 But at the end of the day, this article really does do what I suggested earlier,
3:04 which is basically that it's not really meaning,
3:06 and really what my buddy suggested as well,
3:08 which is like, I don't think it had the intended message for the entire crowd,
3:12 but there was definitely a good message that people could take from it.
3:15 So what I'm going to do on this podcast is I'm going to go ahead and read this entire article to you,
3:20 because I know my audience, all right, I know that when I beg for you guys to read,
3:24 some of you guys just, you know, that's in one year and write out the other.
3:28 Like, I'm fully aware of kind of how that goes.
3:30 So what I'm going to do is I'm going to read this entire article to you,
3:33 but I will be making some edits.
3:36 And for any of you guys that have read this before,
3:37 because I know this has gotten the rounds, it just came to me.
3:40 I'm a little late to the party on this one.
3:42 But I will be making some edits because there's quite a bit of bad language in this.
3:48 And also, there's going to be some things that are, you know,
3:51 you kind of have to see it in the article to understand the context.
3:53 So every now and then I'm going to come out of, you know, reading mode,
3:56 and I'll explain kind of what's on the screen,
3:58 and I'll be kind of going back and forth a little bit.
4:00 But you should be able to at least catch on to what it is that I'm doing.
4:04 But I think the article is good enough to be read in its entirety.
4:08 You know, it's kind of, it sounds like it's one of your buddies saying these things.
4:12 It doesn't sound like someone from the New York Times or the Economist is,
4:15 you know, trying to impress you with, you know, their journalism degree
4:18 that they got from a really good school with all the writing.
4:20 So that's not something that you're going to run into.
4:22 And then when we get to the end, I want to have a little discussion,
4:26 I guess, with myself, I guess.
4:27 But I'm just going to talk a little bit about the points that were made
4:31 and kind of where I see it aligning with a modern Christian man
4:35 and kind of how this is all wrapped up in manhood.
4:37 So I'm just going to kind of flow with it.
4:39 Because, and this is, again, this is a good encouragement to you guys that share stuff with me.
4:43 Like I'm always down to take in more content.
4:45 And I've had people reach out to me before and send me content.
4:48 And it just wasn't a good fit for the podcast, what they were wanting me to say.
4:51 But, but you never know.
4:52 So go ahead and send me the stuff in.
4:54 So here we go, guys.
4:55 I'm going to start reading the six harsh truths that will make you a better person
4:58 written by David Wong on December 17th of 2012 on cracked.com.
5:04 2017, guys, yeah, let's do this. Do what, you ask? I don't know.
5:09 Let's figure that out together.
5:11 Feel free to stop reading this.
5:12 If your career is going great, you're thrilled with your life
5:14 and you're happy with your relationships.
5:16 Enjoy the rest of your day, friend.
5:18 This article is not for you.
5:19 You're doing a great job.
5:20 We're all proud of you.
5:21 So you don't feel like you wasted your click.
5:23 Here's a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing a gigantic scarf.
5:26 And there's literally a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing an unbelievably huge scarf.
5:30 So there we go back to the article.
5:32 For the rest of you, I want you to try something.
5:34 Name five impressive things about yourself.
5:37 Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room.
5:41 But here's the catch.
5:42 You're not allowed to list anything you are, i.e. I'm an ice guy.
5:47 I'm honest.
5:48 But instead can only list things that you do, i.e.
5:51 I just want a national chess tournament.
5:53 I make the best chili in Massachusetts.
5:55 If you found that difficult, well, this is for you.
5:59 And you're going to hate hearing it.
6:01 My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so.
6:06 Note, I originally posted this.
6:08 Sorry, I lost my place.
6:10 Doing it live.
6:12 Doing it live.
6:12 All right.
6:12 Note, I originally posted this in December of 2012.
6:15 And to date, it has drawn more than 20 million page views and been shared on Facebook
6:19 more than half a million times.
6:21 We decided to update it and post it again every year.
6:24 And by updated, I mean change the year in the intro.
6:27 All right.
6:28 Number six, the world only cares about what it can get from you.
6:32 Let's say that a person you love the most has just been shot.
6:35 He or she is lying in the street bleeding and screaming.
6:37 A guy rushes up to you and says, step aside.
6:40 He looks over your loved ones bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife.
6:43 He's going to operate right there in the street.
6:46 You ask, are you a doctor?
6:48 The guy says, no.
6:49 You say, but you know what you're doing, right?
6:52 You're an old army medic or at this point, the guy becomes annoyed.
6:56 He tells you that he's a nice guy.
6:57 He is honest.
6:58 He is always on time.
7:00 He tells you that he is a great son to his mother.
7:02 And he has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies.
7:05 And he boasts that he never uses foul language.
7:08 Confused, you say, how does any of that matter when my wife/husband/best friend/parent
7:13 is lying here bleeding?
7:15 I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds.
7:18 Can you do that or not?
7:19 Now the man becomes agitated.
7:22 Why are you being shallow and selfish?
7:24 Do you not care about any of his or other good qualities?
7:28 Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday?
7:31 In light of all the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?
7:35 In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulder, screaming,
7:40 yes, I'm saying that none of that other stuff matters.
7:43 Because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy blah blah blah.
7:49 So here's my terrible truth about the adult world.
7:52 You are in that very situation every single day.
7:56 Only you are the confused guy with a pocket knife.
7:59 All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.
8:02 If you want to know why society seems to shun you or why you seem to get no respect,
8:07 it's because society is full of people who need things.
8:10 They need houses built.
8:12 They need food to eat.
8:14 They need entertainment.
8:15 They need fulfillment.
8:16 It's fulfilling sexual relationships.
8:18 You arrived at the scene of that emergency holding your pocket knife by virtue of your birth.
8:23 The moment you came into the world, you became part of the system designed purely to see
8:28 two people's needs.
8:29 Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills
8:35 or the world will reject you.
8:37 No matter how kind, giving, and polite you are,
8:40 you will be poor, you will be alone, and you will be left out in the cold.
8:43 Does that seem mean or crass or materialistic?
8:47 What about love and kindness?
8:49 Don't those things matter?
8:50 Of course, as long as they result in you doing things for people,
8:54 that they can't get elsewhere.
8:56 For you to see, here we go.
8:58 Number five, the hippies were wrong.
9:00 So guys at the very beginning of this, there's YouTube clip and it's Alec Baldwin's very,
9:06 very famous scene in the movie Glingarry Glen Ross.
9:09 And so that's kind of the the coffee is for closers thing.
9:11 You know, winners get this trip and losers get these steak knives type of things.
9:16 So it's fairly famous scene.
9:18 If you haven't seen it before, you'll you'll look at it in the article later.
9:20 So here we go back to the article.
9:22 For those of you who can't watch videos,
9:24 it's the famous speech Alec Baldwin gives in the cinematic masterpiece Glingarry Glen Ross.
9:29 Baldwin's character, whom you assume is the villain,
9:31 addresses the room full of dudes and tears them a new behold,
9:35 telling them that they're all about to be fired unless they close the sales they've been assigned.
9:40 Nice guy, I don't give a crap.
9:42 Good father, screw you, go home and play with your kids.
9:45 If you want to work here, close. It's brutal, rude and borderline sociopathic.
9:51 And also, it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you.
9:56 The difference is that in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way,
10:01 and they decided it's better to simply let you keep failing.
10:04 That scene changed my life.
10:06 I'd program my alarm clock to play it for me every morning if I knew how.
10:10 Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for that movie, and that's the only scene he's in.
10:15 As smarter people pointed out, the genius of that speech is that half of the people who watch it
10:21 think that the point of the scene is, "Wow, what must it be like to have such a butthole boss?"
10:26 And the other half think, "Yeah, let's go out and sell some dang real estate."
10:31 Or, as the last psychiatrist blog put it, "If you were in that room, some of you would
10:36 understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway. Welcome, the coach is
10:41 cursing at you. This guy is awesome." While some of you would take it personally, this guy is a jerk,
10:46 you have no right to talk to me like that, or the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted
10:51 with a greater power. Quietly see and fantasize about finding information that will out him as a
10:57 hypocrite, so satisfying. That excerpt is from an insightful critique of hipsters and why they
11:04 seem to have so much trouble getting jobs. That doesn't begin to do it justice, go read the whole
11:09 thing. And the point is that the difference is, in those two attitudes, bitter versus motivated,
11:15 largely determines whether or not you'll succeed in the world. For instance, some people want to
11:19 respond to that speech with Tyler Durden's line from Fight Club, "You are not your job." But well,
11:24 actually, you totally are. Granted, your job and your means of employment might not be the same thing,
11:30 but in both cases, you are nothing more than the sum total of your useful skills. For instance,
11:35 being a good mother is a job that requires a skill. It's something a person can do that is useful to
11:40 other members of society, but make no mistake. Your job, the useful thing that you do for other
11:45 people, is all you are. There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers.
11:51 There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters. There is a reason why your
11:56 job will become your label if your death makes the news. NFL linebacker dies in murder/suicide.
12:02 Tyler said, "You are not your job." But he also founded and ran a successful soap company
12:07 and became the head of an international social and political movement.
12:11 He was totally his job. Or think of it this way. Remember when Chick-fil-A came out against gay
12:16 marriage? And despite the protests, the company continued to sell millions of sandwiches every day?
12:21 It's not because the country agrees with them. It's because they do their job of making delicious
12:25 sandwiches well. And that's all that matters. You don't have to like it. I don't like it when
12:30 it rains on my birthday. It rains anyway. Clouds form and precipitation happens. People have needs
12:35 and thus assign value to the people who meet them. These are simple mechanisms of the universe
12:40 and they do not respond to our wishes. If you protest that you're not a shallow capitalist
12:45 materialist and that you disagree that money is everything, I can only say, "Who said anything
12:49 about money? You're missing the larger point." Number four. What you produced is not have to make
12:55 money. But it does have to benefit people. Let's try a non-money example so you don't get hung up
13:00 on that. The demographic that cracked rights for is heavy on 20-something males. So on our message
13:06 boards and in my mini inboxes, I read several dozen stories a year from miserable lonely guys
13:11 who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest
13:15 guys in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better
13:19 if Alec Baldwin explained it. And then it shows that Alec Baldwin clip from the same movie again.
13:25 Back to the article. In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive woman in your
13:30 life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does. Society has trained us not to be this honest
13:35 with people, but the equation is the same. Nice guy? Who gives a crap? If you want to work here,
13:40 close. So what do you bring to the table? Because the Zoe Deschanel look alike in the bookstore
13:45 that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty
13:51 when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years.
13:56 What do you do? Well, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job
14:02 and make lots of money? No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write
14:07 off everyone who rejects you by something that you're just being shallow or selfish.
14:12 I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart, funny, interesting, talented, ambitious, creative?
14:18 Okay, now what do you do now? What do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world?
14:24 Don't say that you're a nice guy. That's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice
14:28 to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?
14:34 Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive. Not like those other [inaudible].
14:40 I'm sorry. I know that this is hard to hear. But if all you can do is list a bunch of faults
14:45 you don't have, then back away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising
14:50 career ready to step in and operate. Does that break your heart? Okay, so now what?
14:56 Are you going to mope about it? Are you going to learn or are you going to learn how to do
15:01 surgery? It's up to you. But don't complain about how girls fall for jerks. They fall for those jerks
15:07 because those jerks have other things they can offer. But I'm a great listener. Are you?
15:12 Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty
15:16 girl and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be? Well, guess what? There's another
15:22 guy in her life who also knows how to do that. And he can play guitar. Saying that you're a nice guy
15:27 is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like
15:31 a new movie whose title is the move. This movie is in English and it's tagline. The actors are
15:36 clearly visible. I think this is why you can be a nice guy and feel terrible about yourself.
15:41 Specifically, number three, you hate yourself because you don't do anything. So what? You're
15:48 saying I should pick up a book on how to get girls? Only if step one in the book is start making
15:52 yourself into the type of person girls want to be around because that's the step that gets skipped.
15:57 It's always how can I get a job and not how can I become the type of person employers want?
16:03 It's how can I get pretty girls to like me instead of how can I become the type of person that
16:07 pretty girls like? See, because that second one, you could very well require giving up many of
16:12 your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance. And God knows what else.
16:16 You might even have to change your personality. But why can't I find someone who just likes me
16:20 for me? You ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding and all you can do
16:27 is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that need fixed. All right, now
16:31 here's a video of a guy. It's kind of a weird dude. It's like a street performer doing a concert.
16:35 This guy's like in this crazy thong with an American flag and he's just just going crazy.
16:40 It's a horrible, horrible band, but it's just kind of like a ridiculous, ridiculous song. So
16:44 it's kind of funny. You should look at it, but we're going to go back in the article here.
16:47 Everyone who watched that video instantly became a little happier, although not all for the same
16:52 reasons. Can you do that for people? Why not? What's stopping you from strapping on your proverbial
16:58 thong and cape and taking your proverbial stage and flapping your proverbial penis at people?
17:03 That guy knows a secret to winning at human life. That doing whatever you call that was better
17:09 than not doing it. But I'm not good at anything. Well, I have good news. Throw enough hours of
17:14 repetition at it and you get some sort of good at anything. I was the world's crappiest writer
17:19 when I was an infant. I was only slightly better at the age of 25. But while I was failing miserably
17:25 at my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight straight years, an article a week before I ever
17:29 made real money off of it. It took 13 years for me to get good enough to make the New York Times
17:34 bestseller list. It took me probably 20,000 hours of practice to sand the edges off of my sucking.
17:39 Don't like the prospect of pouring all that time into a skill? Well, I have good news and bad news.
17:45 The good news is that the sheer act of practicing will help you come out of your shell.
17:48 I got through years of tedious office work because I knew that I was learning a unique skill on the
17:53 side. People quit because it takes too long to see results because they can't figure out that the
17:57 process is the result. The bad news is that you have no other choice. If you want to work here,
18:04 close because in my non-expert opinion, you don't hate yourself because you have low self-esteem
18:08 or because other people will mean to you. You hate yourself because you don't do anything.
18:13 Not even you can justify love you for you. That's why you're miserable in sending me private messages
18:18 asking me what I think I should do with my life. Do the math. How much of your time is spent
18:23 consuming things other people made. TV, music, video games, websites versus making your own.
18:29 Only one of those adds to your value as a human being. And if you hate hearing this and you're
18:34 responding with something you heard as a kid that sounds like it's what's on the inside that matters,
18:38 then I can only say number two. What you are inside only matters because of what it makes you do.
18:44 Being in the business I am in, I know dozens of aspiring writers. They think of themselves as
18:49 writers. They introduce themselves as writers at parties. They know that deep inside, they have
18:54 the heart of a writer. The only thing they're missing is that minor final step where they actually
18:59 write things. But really, does it matter? Is writing things all that important, all that important
19:05 when deciding who is and who is not truly a writer? For the love of God, yes. See, there's a common
19:10 defense to everything I've said so far and to every critical voice in your life. It's the thing
19:14 your ego is saying to you in order to prevent you from having to do the hard work of improving.
19:19 I know I'm a good person on the inside. It may also be phrased as I know who I am or I just have
19:24 to be me. Don't get me wrong. Who you are inside is everything. The guy who built a house for his
19:30 family from scratch did it because of who he was inside. Every bad thing you've ever done has
19:35 started with a bad impulse. Some thought ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on
19:40 it. And every good thing you've done is the same. Who you are inside is the metaphorical dirt from
19:45 which your fruit grows. But here's what everyone needs to know and what many of you can't accept.
19:50 You are nothing but the fruit. Nobody cares about your dirt. Who you are on the inside is
19:57 meaningless aside from what it produces for other people. Inside, you have great compassion for
20:03 four people. Great. Does that result in you doing anything about it? Do you hear about some terrible
20:07 tragedy in your community and say, Oh, those poor children? Let them know that they are in my thoughts
20:13 because screw you. If so, find out what they need and help provide it. A hundred million people
20:18 watch that Coney video virtually all of whom kept those poor African children in their thoughts.
20:24 What did the collective power those good thoughts provide? Jack Crap. Children die every day because
20:29 millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just about as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism
20:34 controlled by the lazy part of your brain to keep you from actually doing work. How many of you are
20:39 walking around right now saying he or she would love me if he or she only knew what an interesting
20:45 person I am? Really? How do all of your interesting thoughts and ideas manifest themselves in the
20:50 world? What do they cause you to do if your dream girl or guy has a hidden camera that follows you
20:55 around for a month? Would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they can't read your mind.
21:00 They can only observe. Would they want to be a part of that life? Because all I'm asking you to do
21:05 is apply the same standard to yourself that you apply to everyone else. Don't you have that annoying
21:09 Christian friend who's only offered to help anyone ever is to pray for them? Doesn't it drive you nuts?
21:14 I'm not even commenting on whether or not prayer works. It doesn't change the fact that they
21:19 chose the one type of help that doesn't require them to get off of the sofa. They abstain from
21:24 every vice. They think clean thoughts. Their internal dirt is as pure as can be. But what fruit grows
21:29 from it? And they should know this better than anybody. I stole the fruit metaphor from the bible.
21:34 Jesus said something to the effect of a tree is judged by its fruit over and over and over.
21:40 Granted, Jesus never said if you want to work here, close. No, he said every tree that does not
21:45 bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. The people didn't react well to being told
21:50 that just as the salesman didn't react well to Alec Baldwin telling them that they needed to
21:54 grow some balls or resign themselves to shining his shoes, which brings us to the final point.
22:00 Number one, everything inside you will fight improvement. The human mind is a miracle,
22:06 and you will never see it spring more beautifully into action than when it is fighting against
22:10 evidence that it needs to change. Your psyche is equipped with layer after layer of defense
22:15 mechanisms designed to shoot down anything that might keep things from staying exactly where they
22:19 are. Ask any addict. So even now, some of you reading this are feeling your brain bombard you
22:25 with the knee jerk reasons to reject it. From experience, I can say that these seem to come in
22:29 the form of intentionally interpreting any criticism as an insult. Who is he to call me lazy and worthless?
22:36 A good person would never ask me or talk to me like this. He wrote this whole thing just to feel
22:41 superior to me and make me feel bad about my life. I'm going to think up my own insult to even the
22:46 score, focusing on the messenger to avoid hearing the message. Who is this guy to tell me how to live?
22:52 Oh, like he's so high and mighty. It's just some dumb writer on the internet. I'm going to go dig
22:58 up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid and that everything he's saying is stupid.
23:02 This guy is so pretentious. It makes me puke. I watched his old rap video on YouTube and thought
23:07 his rhymes suck. Focus on focusing on the tone to avoid hearing the content. I'm going to dig
23:14 through here until I find a joke that is offensive when taken out of context and then talk and think
23:18 about that. I've heard that single offensive word can render an entire book invisible.
23:24 Revising your own history. Things are so bad. I know that I was threatening suicide last month,
23:28 but I'm feeling better now. It's entirely possible that if I just keep doing exactly what I'm doing,
23:33 eventually things will work out. I'll get my big break and if I keep doing favors for that pretty
23:37 girl, eventually she'll come around pretending that any self improvement would somehow be selling
23:42 out your true self. Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to get rid of all of my manga instead of go to the
23:48 gym for six hours a day and get a spray tan like those Jersey Shore [inaudible] because that is the
23:52 only other option and so on. Remember misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it.
23:59 Happiness takes effort. Also courage. It's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't
24:04 create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created. It's so much easier to
24:09 just sit back and criticize other people's creations. This movie is stupid. That couple's kids are
24:14 brats. The other couple's relationship is a mess. That rich guy is shallow. This restaurant sucks.
24:19 The internet writer is a butthole. I'm I'd better leave a mean comment demanding that the website
24:24 fire him. See, I created something. Oh wait, did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, whatever you
24:29 try to build or create, be it a poem or a skill or a new relationship, you will find yourself
24:34 immediately surrounded by non creators who trash it. Maybe not your face, or maybe not to your face,
24:39 but they'll do it. Your drunk friends don't want you to get sober. Your fat friends don't want you
24:43 to start a fitness regimen. Your jobless friends don't want you to see you don't want to see you
24:47 embark on a career. Just remember, they're only expressing their own fear. Since trashing other
24:52 people's work is another excuse to do nothing. Why should I create anything when things the other
24:57 people create suck? I would totally have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait for something
25:01 good. I don't want to write the next twilight. As long as they never produce anything, their
25:05 work will forever be perfect and beyond reproach. If they do produce something, they'll make sure
25:10 they do it with detached irony. They'll make it intentionally bad and make it clear to everyone
25:14 else that this isn't their real effort. The real effort would be just amazing, not like the crap
25:20 you made. Read our article comments. When they get nasty, it's always from the same angle.
25:25 Crack needs to fire this columnist. This butthole needs to stop writing. Don't make any more videos
25:30 and always boils down to stop creating. This is different from what I would have made and the
25:35 attention you're getting is making me feel bad about myself. Don't be that person. If you are
25:39 that person, don't be that person anymore. This is what's making people hate you. This is what's
25:44 making you hate yourself. So how about this? One year. By the end of 2016, again, this was written
25:51 back in the day. So by the end of 2016, that's our deadline or a year from whenever you read this.
25:56 While other people are telling you let's make a New Year's resolution to lose 15 pounds this year,
26:00 I'm going to say let's pledge to do anything at any skill, any improvement to your human tool set,
26:06 and get good enough at it to impress people. Don't ask me what? Hell, pick something at random if you
26:12 don't know. Take a class in karate or ballroom dancing or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse.
26:18 Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime.
26:23 Start a video vlog. Write for cracked. But the key is I don't want you to focus on something
26:28 great that you're going to make happen to you. I'm going to find a girlfriend. I'm going to make
26:32 lots of money. I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that will make you ever so
26:37 slightly more interesting and valuable to other people. I don't have the money to take the cooking
26:42 class. Then Google how to cook. They'd even filtered out different websites now and it's easier than
26:48 ever. You have to kill those excuses or they will kill you. If you want to make note of your project
26:54 in the forum thread or the comments and check in this time next year, not yourself out. I'll be
26:58 curious to see if even one person actually does this. But if so, we'll look back, not just with
27:03 whether or not we actually follow through. But why? You have nothing to lose and the world needs you.
27:08 Here's a video of a corgi rolling down some stairs. Okay. So that's just kind of an end to the
27:13 random thing. But I know that was fairly lengthy guys, but I wanted to read the entire thing. But
27:17 I do want to kind of go back and pull some things out and I'm going to go back and talk
27:22 about a few things on each one of these. So the very first one, and I'll make this somewhat brief,
27:27 it says the world only cares about what it can get from you. So all of us know that in the
27:31 sin nature of man, it's incredibly selfish, right? We know those different things. But I thought it
27:36 was an incredibly important distinction that this person made that a lot of us try to depend on how
27:42 good we are, right? So let's look at this in a Christian context. I know this is a very secular
27:46 article. It may be even offended you from time to time. But let's look at it from a Christian
27:50 perspective. We only look at other people. If we're non-Christians, we look at them as just, you know,
27:57 they're just monkeys, right? They're just highly evolved monkeys. They're stardust, you know,
28:01 bumping into other stardusts. But us as Christians, we look at them differently. We look at them like
28:05 they're inherently important. But in a post Genesis three world, which is exactly where we live,
28:10 yeah, if someone gets shot and they're on the street and they're bleeding and dying and someone
28:13 shows up with a pocket knife, but they're not a surgeon, then we just kind of look at that person
28:17 like, what exactly are you doing? The world is incredibly selfish. It is going to get something
28:22 out of you. So if you look at this in a business context, some people think of, you know, the one
28:26 percenters, the people, the evil people that are creating all these companies, right? They're
28:30 just seeing whatever they can get out of these different employees. But but again, I think it's
28:33 important to understand that this is the world that we live in, because if we are going to share
28:38 the gospel with people, if we are going to talk about Jesus with different people, then it makes
28:41 sense that we would understand the world that we live in. And this is exactly right. The world
28:44 only cares about what it can get from you. And then you go to the next one, the hippies were wrong.
28:48 So again, it's just, it's all this stuff about, you know, well, I'm a nice guy. And there are things
28:54 that I do that are really, really good. And it's just kind of one of those things that some people
28:58 try to just get by on who they are. So you've heard the concept of people, you know, they wake up on
29:02 third base and think they hit a triple. It's kind of what ends up here. You have these people that
29:06 just think, well, everything's just kind of kind of work out and everything's just going to be okay.
29:10 But I you just have to remember that that's not really a realistic viewpoint on the world that
29:16 we're looking at. Like it's just not something that we would we would necessarily want to do.
29:20 And you know, it talked about this thing that you are your job. Now, now again, as Christians,
29:25 we understand that we are worth more than that. But again, what you do at your job, maybe one of the
29:29 biggest things that you can do to point people to the gospel. And that doesn't necessarily mean
29:33 that you're going to be working in vocational ministry of any kind of could. But where you are
29:37 at your job is where you're going to spend an overwhelming majority of your time. And so that's
29:41 where people may get to meet Jesus is whenever they're seeing you in your normal day to day life.
29:45 And then when you go to number four, this one is what you produced does not have to make money,
29:48 but it does have to benefit people. Again, this is where it's kind of coming out this thing from,
29:52 you know, an almost oddly Christian perspective. Because a lot of things that we do, you know,
29:58 we watch an episode of Shark Tank, or we see someone in our life that's really a successful
30:01 entrepreneur. And we think, man, I mean, I got to do something cool, but it's also got to make me
30:06 money. And that's not necessarily the case. At the end of the day, what we have to do is we do have
30:11 to produce in life. Like that is our Christian obligation is to produce, you know, to work and
30:16 keep like those are the things that we are, we are set out here to do. But everything that we do
30:20 has to have some sort of benefit for people. And I know some of you guys that are listening to this,
30:24 you might be thinking to yourself, man, like, you know, I don't do important work, you know,
30:28 I just drive a truck or, you know, I just, you know, load boxes or I just do this or I just do that.
30:34 But everything you're doing is benefiting somebody else. If you go one or two degrees before you
30:38 or after you in the process, whatever it is that you're doing, there's going to be some sort of
30:42 effect on people. I mean, I can't really think of a job out there where people are not being
30:47 affected by what it is that you're doing, right? And so I think that's something that's really
30:50 important for all of us to think about. Now, when we go into number three, I think this one is
30:55 really, really important. The other three that I've already mentioned that those are good,
30:58 but I think this is where it's really starting to break down into things that I think are important
31:02 for us guys to think about. Number three is if you hate yourself or you hate yourself because you
31:06 don't do anything, I think this is incredibly, incredibly important because there's a lot of guys
31:11 out there that have have self loathing as a problem. Like they look at themselves and they
31:16 don't like themselves. And let's look at some examples. You know, I'm fat. So so I'm worthless.
31:22 But the thing about being fat is there's a very, very small percentage of the population that is
31:26 fat and can't help it. Most of the people that are fat are eating too much and moving too little,
31:32 right? Like that that's why they are that way. And they'd rather complain and spend energy and
31:37 time and effort complaining about who they are currently as opposed to trying to change that so
31:42 that they're a different person in the future. You know, people hate themselves because, you know,
31:46 they got a divorce. And so I'm not going to go into a big long explanation about what, you know,
31:50 God thinks about divorce and the standards they're in. I think you guys are fairly well versed in
31:54 that whether you actually act that way or not. But you hate yourself because your relationship
31:59 didn't work out. Well, if you think about it, you could have fixed that before then. Like there's
32:04 really no time whenever you can't go back and try and fix the things that were done. But but
32:09 you hate yourself because you made this mistake. But again, you're the biggest key inside of that.
32:13 You're a person that is actually inside of that situation. You're the one that did make that mistake.
32:17 And the thing about it is, I know this is kind of pushing people to try to
32:22 create something and do something to help the world. But the thing is, is all of us have something
32:28 that we can do that can provide benefit to people. And when we're not creating something,
32:34 then we're not really living up to what God's major calling is for our life. And when most
32:38 people think of creating, they do think about, well, I made a movie or I made music or I wrote this book.
32:43 And it may be one of those things for you. But what it might be as well is just you creating
32:47 capacity for someone else. Maybe you mow the lawn for someone down the road that has a bunch of kids
32:52 and the husband's gone on business a whole lot. Well, what you've done is you've created margin
32:56 for either the life that needs to spend time taking care of her kids, why her husband are gone,
33:01 or you're creating margin for the husband once he's got home, that things have kind of been taken
33:05 care of around the house. And you're not challenging his manhood. You're not doing any of those things.
33:09 And that's just an example off the top of my head. But it's something that you've done. It's
33:12 something that you've created. And the thing that you can see when you look at some psychological
33:17 research, and I know a lot of you guys out there are more vers in this and I am. But whenever you
33:21 start helping other people, you stop worrying about yourself as much. So there's a buddy of mine,
33:26 Jiu Jitsu buddy of mine who really, really struggles with depression and anxiety. And I mean, it's
33:31 you know, clinical, not like, Oh, I'm sad because my dog passed away, like it's like clinical type
33:35 stuff. And one day he's kind of telling me about these things. And I mean, he's, I mean, the dude's
33:40 balling on my couch. And it's just it's not really going well for him at the time. But the thing I
33:45 finally told him is I said, you know, he should do, you should go and talk to your friends and ask
33:50 them how they're doing and see if there's anything that you can do to help him. And he was like really
33:54 taken aback by like, dude, what are you talking about? I just poured my guts out and told you that
33:57 I'm thinking about committing suicide. And you know, I've got all these crazy thoughts. And what am I
34:01 going to do? And blah, blah, blah. And I just said, you know what, there's an interesting thing that
34:04 happens when you stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on others, you see yourself in their
34:08 story and you see yourself as a positive in someone else's life. Right. And so we actually went and
34:13 did that. I was like, Hey, just call up a friend and say, Hey, I know this isn't normally like me,
34:17 but I just wanted to call and say, is there anything I can do for you? Like, is there anything that I
34:20 can be praying for you for you about? Is there anything that we need to get together and maybe talk
34:24 about? I, you know, I'd like to be there for you if there's any way that I could do that. So the
34:28 thing is, is you have to do something. Like you have to make an impact in the world in some way.
34:34 And you're not going to do that by just sitting around doing nothing, of course. And then you get
34:37 to number two, which is what you are inside only matters because of what it makes you do. I really
34:42 like this as well, because a lot of people do want to rely on what they think they are.
34:47 Like this is who I am and who I am is all that matters. And I know in this section, it maybe got
34:52 a little bit of a little bit offensive for people. Because you know, it's that Christian that only
34:56 says, Oh, I'll pray for you or something like that. But the thing is, is if we're if we're really
35:00 filled with the Holy Spirit, and if those things are happened, then we're not just going to send
35:04 thoughts and prayers, we are going to do things that our gospel centered life will keep us from
35:09 sitting around doing nothing. And it'll actually launch us out into the world. It'll launch us out
35:13 in in between two rivaling crews or in between two people whose marriage is on the rocks. It's
35:19 going to launch you out in a direction that's going to actually help you assist somebody and
35:23 make them better and potentially lead them to Christ. Because again, it's kind of one of those
35:27 things like you go back to the salt and light scriptures. When Jesus talked about, you know,
35:31 the light can't be, you know, hidden, hidden under a dish. And it's got to like shine for the entire
35:36 world. Like the salt is only good if it is if it has its saltiness. And for us to be salt and
35:41 light, we have to be in the world and we have to be talking to people about different things.
35:44 We have to be in their lives with them. And so it's great that you feel bad for for this,
35:50 this cause or you feel bad for these people. But those feelings are kind of just headtrash
35:54 if you're not going to do anything about them. And I think the gospel centered parts of our lives
35:59 would would push us out into those areas. So I talk about this all the time with people that call
36:03 themselves pro pro life, they're pro life, but they haven't done a thing at all. Like to help out
36:09 women at like a crisis pregnancy center or a woman that's decided to give her baby up for adoption.
36:15 But she needs help in the meantime, maybe monetarily or with favors or different things like that.
36:19 You're not doing anything to actually help these things. I mean, I've called out pastors on this.
36:24 It's like, dude, you're up in the pulpit talking about how we should value life and all these
36:28 different things. But then your church does nothing with any pro life centers, like any
36:34 pregnancy resource centers, any group that helps these women that are single that are trying to
36:38 figure out what to do with this baby and trying to convince them not to murder it, right? So it's
36:42 like, yeah, it's great to say that up on the pulpit, but you're not really doing anything about it.
36:46 You're basically doing thoughts and prayers only, and you're not actually doing anything. And again,
36:51 don't don't misunderstand me because I know there's been a lot of people that have said
36:54 negative things about people that do thoughts and prayers. But at the end of the day, our prayers
36:59 should be, you know, asking God to help us in these situations because we're the ones here on
37:04 earth. He is in control and he can change everything with, you know, just a snap of his finger. But at
37:09 the end of the day, he's going to work through us. He's going to work through us a lot. And we have
37:14 to be willing to step up and do those different things. Okay. And then we get into the last thing
37:18 here. And it's the last thing that they talk about is that everything inside you will fight
37:22 improvement. So any of you guys that have, you know, lived, done anything or changed anything in your
37:29 life, you know, this to be true. So you were incredibly overweight. And you know, you're all
37:34 excited, you got new shoes, you got new clothes, you got your workout plan, you go to the gym that
37:38 first day, the workout is excuse me, unbelievably hard. And then you're, you're sore the next day.
37:45 And it's you're so sore, you can barely move. And then everything in you is telling you,
37:50 okay, maybe this isn't for me. Maybe I can get by being 100 pounds overweight. And it may shave a
37:54 couple of years off the end of my life, but I should be okay. Right. And the thing about it is,
37:59 everything inside you will fight improvement in a lot of ways. Like when you're trying to practice
38:03 that things, when you're trying to get better at things, there's going to be things inside of you,
38:07 you know, us as Christians, we might look at this as the influence of the devil, the influence of
38:10 his minions, right, is going to tell you not to do these things to make yourself better. You know,
38:14 it's the same pull like the Holy Spirit's pulling you towards the Triune God, but you know,
38:19 the devil's pulling you away trying to distract you. But another thing here that's incredibly
38:23 important is when you start making changes, so let's look at it from the Christian context again,
38:26 if you become a Christian, your non Christian friends may be more vocal than they've ever been
38:31 about their disdain that you decided to make that decision. Oh, you know, all Christians are just
38:34 hypocrites and bigots. I can't believe you would do that. You know, why do you think there's only one
38:38 God that's incredibly judgmental of you? Like, you know, it's those types of comments that are
38:42 going to like start making you question the direction that you're going. But let's look at it even as
38:46 a secular example, when people are maybe trying to go for a promotion. It's one of those things
38:50 where it's like, dude, why are you trying to do so much? Why are you trying to make all of us look
38:53 bad? Like, do you really want the promotion that bad? Look at it back in school. Most guys that have
38:59 this stupid idea that, you know, you know, cool dudes don't read or something like that. That goes
39:03 back all the way to like junior high and high school. The kid that like read the book and was
39:07 like asking the teacher questions and raising their hand during discussion. It was like, Oh,
39:10 look at this dude, what idiot and all the other different names that you would call them and
39:14 different things and you would bully that kid. Well, why? Because he was bettering himself,
39:18 but he because he actually studied for the test. Yeah, Moron, you didn't say for the test and you
39:22 got a D. Is that better than the kid who studied and got to be or an A? Like, like not at all. So,
39:27 again, guys, like this, this is a blog that has been passed around in a bunch of different circles
39:32 that eventually made its way to me. It's not going to ping true. It's not going to be a lot of
39:36 things that your pastor would say from the pulpit. But I think these things are really
39:39 important for us to think about because here's the thing, if you have a friend who's a non-Christian
39:44 who read this article and sent it over to you, you should be able to have a substantive person,
39:47 you know, conversation with this person and, you know, be able to potentially point to Christ or
39:53 point to the gospel in some way, because there's a lot of messages here that would kind of lend
39:57 itself to that. Now, there are some messages that are in stark contrast to what we would
40:01 learn in the gospel or through just a discipleship type of setup with Jesus. But again, I look at
40:06 this as an opportunity to kind of bridge the gap between the secular and the Christian because
40:10 this idea that we're just going to be outside of society and kind of do our own thing. I don't
40:15 really like that. I don't really like that view of Christianity. I thought that was talked about
40:18 in Matt Chandler's book, Take Heart, where he was just talking about, you know, how we act and
40:22 what we do in post-Christian them. And this is just one of those examples of, yeah, this is
40:27 something you should read this article. Yeah, there's a, there's a lot of bad language in it and
40:31 different things like that. But shoot it to some friends of yours and talk about it. Shoot it to
40:35 a secular friend of yours. They're going to be surprised that you even read it. And perhaps,
40:38 and again, that doesn't mean you endorse everything that said, but it's like, hey, this is a really
40:42 interesting article. I, you know, love to get together and have a whiskey and talk about it.
40:46 You know, it's just one of those opportunities that you should look for. So again, I want to thank
40:50 Brian, my buddy out in Wichita for for doing this shout out to him for sending this over to me.
40:55 And guys, this again, just let me encourage you one more time in this podcast. If you run across
40:59 things, whether it's a video on YouTube or a book or a blog or something like that, shoot it over
41:04 to me. I always like looking at different content. I'll try to work it in somehow if it makes sense,
41:08 but it's always a good deal. All right, guys, we're going to do a quick resilience boost before
41:11 we leave. As you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating mainly
41:15 resilience. Specifically, we do that by providing content that for just spiritual mental and physical
41:19 toughness. Today, we're just going with mental resilience and we're going to keep it simple.
41:23 I'm leaving a link to this article here in the show notes. So go ahead and click on that link,
41:28 because I want you to read it and go through it as it's written. Again, like I said, fair warning.
41:32 There's some bad language and there's a lot of things that I edited out, but I think it'd be
41:35 really important for you to do that. But this is my challenge to you. My challenge is to shoot
41:40 this out to a couple of guys and talk to them about it. And don't just send it to your guys from
41:43 Sunday school. You know what I mean? Send it to some guys that, you know, maybe your non-Christians
41:48 or secular people, atheists, whatever, and just kind of get their perspective on it. Like,
41:52 let this be a conversation point as you go through and talk to people. All right, thank you guys,
41:57 as always, we appreciate you listening to the podcast. Please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud,
42:01 or Google Play and refer your friends to listen and share this on social media. If you use the hashtag
42:05 on Daunted Life, we'll be sure to find it and give it a thumbs up. If we deserve a five-star review,
42:09 please leave us one and don't just hit the fifth star. Write a few sentences that let us know why
42:13 exactly you like what we're putting out. So we keep putting out good stuff. All right. I'm currently
42:17 booking speaking engagements for the remainder of 2018 and the beginning of 2019. So if you want me
42:23 to come speak to your church or your retreat or your Sunday school or anything like that,
42:26 hit me up at info at undaunted.life. Again, that's info at undaunted.life. Our website is www.undaunted.life.
42:34 You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undauntedlife or facebook.com/undauntedlife. Check
42:39 out our free devotionals on the U-version Bible app. Just search undaunted life under plants.
42:43 We also want to thank the band August Burns read for allowing us to use our music library for our
42:47 content. The intro outro track on this podcast is our song King of Sorrow, which is off their latest
42:52 record entitled Phantom Anthem. The links to all of this are in the description. I'm your host,
42:56 Kyle Thompson. Remember, keep cultivating manly resilience, keep forging spiritual, mental, and
43:02 physical toughness. Keep seeking the lion of Judah.
Key quotes
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Kyle Thompson
The world only cares about what it can get from you.
Kyle Thompson
You hate yourself because you don't do anything.
Kyle Thompson
What you are inside only matters because of what it makes you do.
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