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018 - The Art of Being Offensive

April 17, 2018 41m 19s Full transcript available
018 - The Art of Being Offensive
0:00 / 41m 19s
In this episode, I tackle the art of being offensive and why it's necessary in today's easily offended culture. If you want to think critically and engage in meaningful discussions, you have to risk offending people along the way.
Transcript
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0:30 This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.
0:43 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
0:45 Let's get into it.
0:46 In order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive, so that's a quote from
0:51 Jordan Peterson.
0:52 No, this is not going to turn into a Jordan Peterson fanboy podcast, but that was a quote
0:57 from the interview that he did with Channel 3 or Channel 4 news over in the UK, and that
1:02 was the one that kind of got him all this notoriety right before his book came out.
1:06 It's where, and I've suggested that you watch that interview before, but that was the center
1:11 point of that entire interview.
1:13 It was a very contentious interview, lasted about 20 or 30 minutes, something like that,
1:17 but that was the part where Jordan Peterson separated himself from this woman that was
1:20 asking him all these crazy questions and kind of twisting his words around.
1:24 And so we live right now, and perhaps the most easily offended time in human history.
1:31 I mean, people are so easily offended.
1:34 They don't even try to have thick skin in a lot of different ways, right?
1:38 People literally will seek out opportunities to be offended, right?
1:41 So there are people that will actually go on social media, right, and you all know this
1:44 to be true.
1:45 They will actually go to social media expecting to become outraged at a topic, and then they
1:51 strike, right, they'll, they'll like attack the person for whatever topic they're talking
1:54 about.
1:55 So, you know, after an election, they'll assume that somebody on the winning side is going
1:59 to post something, you know, congratulatory or excited, and they go on there because they
2:04 know they're going to be offended, or something happens in the news or Trump tweets something
2:08 or something goes down, and then they go there looking to be offended.
2:11 But also you have a lot of people that identify into these like tribes of offended people.
2:17 Like people kind of like to have a tribe.
2:18 Like it's this is my team, and we're going to be offended as a group.
2:21 So you'll have people that are more liberal on the political scale, and they'll be offended
2:25 by anyone that really doesn't think like them or vote like them.
2:28 You'll have conservatives that are offended by anyone that, you know, doesn't display
2:32 like fervent patriotism for the United States or something like that.
2:36 You have the social justice warrior types that are offended by anyone whose entire life
2:40 isn't about equality of outcome.
2:42 I mean, you have vegans that, you know, they'll attack people that eat meat or, you know,
2:46 drink milk or whatever they attack these days and even like, you know, CrossFit people.
2:50 You'll have CrossFit people that will attack anyone that thinks that another way of working
2:54 out is proper for them, right?
2:56 Like everyone's got this group that they want to identify with, and then they become offended
3:01 as a group, right?
3:02 And we live in this boycott culture as well, and we've seen a lot of that actually coming
3:05 up lately.
3:06 So if you have like a newscaster that says something that you don't like, then you announce a boycott,
3:11 which almost never really works, you kind of get the opposite reaction, people kind of like
3:16 stick to their guns and, you know, kind of support that individual.
3:19 But we see that a lot now to where it's like, somebody does something or an employee for
3:23 this large conglomeration or this large company makes a mistake.
3:27 And then people were like, well, I'm never going to eat there again, or I'm never going
3:29 to buy those products again because of this offensive thing, right?
3:32 I mean, even recently, we saw this with David Hogg and Laura Ingraham.
3:37 So Laura Ingraham is a she's an opinion host on Fox News.
3:41 And then David Hogg is one of the more outspoken students from the school shooting there in
3:46 Florida that happened just a couple of months ago.
3:49 And you know, she subtweeted him something that he said on Twitter.
3:53 People thought it was offensive, what she said.
3:54 And then so David Hogg announced that they were going to do a boycott of all of Laura
3:58 Ingraham's advertisers.
3:59 And so they did that and a lot of her advertisers dropped, but a lot of her advertisers stayed.
4:04 And then she came back from a vacation and all of her ratings went up, right?
4:08 So it was just kind of one of those deals where it's like, you know, we're going to
4:12 boycott stuff because we're so offended.
4:14 And being offended is like a new Olympic sport, right?
4:17 So so we've got to like look for these opportunities, like who can be the most offended?
4:21 Like we're always second guessing the motives of a speaker or some politician that says
4:25 something or maybe uses a common axiom, like, Oh, were they were they being sexist or were
4:29 they being racist?
4:30 Or was there, you know, some ulterior motive?
4:32 Are they white supremacists?
4:33 Or are they a black nationalist?
4:34 Like we always think in those terms, you know, everyone has some issue and some of those
4:39 issues are rather useless, but they treat this issue like it's life or death.
4:43 And here's the thing guys is I'll just kind of be honest with you.
4:46 Again, I'm 31 years old, but I used to offend people a lot and really for no reason.
4:52 It was just kind of a part of my past and part of not really my upbringing, but I just
4:56 I used to offend people and I kind of liked it, I guess.
4:59 Like I wanted to be brash.
5:01 I wanted to be abrasive, like I wanted to be seen as as tough or like the guy that's
5:07 going to have an opinion or something like that.
5:09 But it wasn't always very positive and in a lot of ways it wasn't really ever positive.
5:15 And so it wasn't really one of the best things that I could have done with my time was,
5:18 you know, trying to offend people and be offensive.
5:21 And the thing is, is I have a very straightforward personality, right?
5:24 So I don't just talk like I do right now in this podcast, just when I'm podcasting,
5:28 I mean, I talk like this a lot.
5:30 So it's just going to happen by virtue of the way my personality is and how I'm wired,
5:35 but I'm way more calculated now than I was when I was 18, you know, entering into college
5:40 and just saying and doing stupid things, right?
5:43 And so I think it's okay to be calculated in how you're offending people and I am going
5:48 to be talking a lot about that particular subject matter today in this podcast.
5:51 So with this podcast, I really want to talk about how there really is an art to being
5:57 offensive, right? And kind of when to use being offensive and how it can be used positively.
6:03 Okay.
6:04 And so in a lot of ways and you've seen me talk about this on other podcasts, like I want
6:08 this podcast to be relevant.
6:10 I want it to be time sensitive as well.
6:12 So if there's something that's in the news that's really important that I think you guys
6:15 would be interested in hearing my opinion on or just hearing a different opinion on, then
6:19 I try to, you know, I'll bump whatever episode I had for that week into a future episode
6:24 or something like that.
6:25 So we've seen that done with abortion and the abortion, you know, the March for Life
6:30 that was happening.
6:31 We saw it with the school shooting in Florida and, you know, I made an episode about guns
6:35 and violence, but something came up recently and this kind of helped me kind of think through
6:40 my philosophy on offending people and things like that.
6:44 And lo and behold, it was because, you know, I had offended some people.
6:46 So if you're not familiar with what's going on right now in the state of Oklahoma, which
6:50 is my home state where I'm born and raised and where I currently reside, there is a massive
6:55 teacher strike that just took place.
6:58 So it actually ended last Friday if you're listening to this on time.
7:01 So it would have, you know, ended basically mid April, but for two weeks legislators were
7:07 kind of bombarded down at the state Capitol by teachers and people that support teachers
7:11 and these teachers were demanding more funding for Oklahoma education and pay raises.
7:16 So just to kind of give you a little bit of background, the state of Oklahoma is really,
7:21 really low in terms of funding per student.
7:23 I think it's 48 out of 50 50 states in terms of state funding and also in terms of what's
7:30 what teachers are paid, right.
7:32 And so it's become a major issue in the state has done a lot of different things to try
7:37 and fix that or so we were told, right?
7:39 You know, we brought the lottery to this state that was supposed to fix education.
7:42 We brought casinos to the state that was supposed to fix education.
7:45 I think before that they had like a per glass liquor tax of some kind and it was always
7:50 supposed to fix education, it never really happened.
7:53 So what's happened is Oklahoma teachers are paid very, very poorly.
7:56 They don't make a whole lot of money and they're below the regional average.
8:00 And so they're they're trying to go out there and get this funding.
8:03 So there's all this outrage, right, and everyone supporting the teachers.
8:07 And if you just looked at Facebook and especially here in Oklahoma, you would think that every
8:12 kind of everybody kind of agreed that, you know, this should happen and, you know, let's
8:16 raise taxes and let's do what we need to do because we support our teachers.
8:20 But you know, what I encourage you all to do and what I do a lot myself is I try to
8:24 go at least one or two levels below whatever the thing is that we're talking about, right?
8:28 Because on a surface level, should teachers be paid more?
8:31 Obviously, like everyone would agree with that.
8:33 Our teachers important.
8:34 Yes.
8:35 Everyone agrees with that.
8:36 But then you go one step below that and you go, well, okay, what is the most prudent way
8:39 to fund that, you know, because we can't just, you know, pull a hundred dollar bills out
8:44 of our rear ends.
8:45 We've got to have a plan for that.
8:46 And so what I noticed when talking to people into the in the community and kind of getting
8:51 their opinions, a lot of people had the same opinions that I did, which is we love teachers.
8:57 We want teachers to be paid more.
8:59 We want them to stay in this state.
9:01 We don't want them going to other states so that they can, you know, be paid more to
9:05 teach in Texas or Arkansas or somewhere else in the country.
9:08 But you know, they also kind of shared some of my hesitations with, hey, the government
9:13 of the Oklahoma saying, hey, just give us some more money and we'll be able to fix this
9:16 teaching thing because because they've kind of done that before.
9:19 And so I put a post out there on Facebook, just basically summarizing some of the thoughts
9:24 that I had and also some of the, the things that came from the conversations I was having
9:28 with some other people.
9:29 And it's things that we should all be able to agree on because it's, it's very logic
9:34 based stuff.
9:35 So can we all agree that teachers in Oklahoma should be paid more?
9:38 Yes.
9:39 We all agree that no one is forcing a teacher to be a teacher.
9:43 Yes.
9:44 I mean, because obviously our teachers aren't going to school with some mob guy behind them
9:48 with a gun to their head saying, you will teach these kids.
9:50 You will keep your teaching contract.
9:52 Like it was basic logic things.
9:54 And then there were some opinion things in there as well.
9:57 But this post was met with unbelievable animus.
10:01 Like it was really kind of flabbergasting the, the type of comments that I received for putting
10:07 something out there that was again, intended to be like, Hey, we should all be able to
10:10 agree on these things.
10:12 And let's think a little deeper on this issue.
10:14 And I had a lot of people reach out to me and say, Oh man, I'm with you.
10:17 Like I'm, I'm completely with you on this.
10:19 But gosh, you know, it's just such a hot time to post something about that.
10:23 And so it was just a really, really interesting thing that happened.
10:26 And you know, I've, I've invited some people to, to try and chat with me about that and
10:30 to talk with me a little bit about their opinions and people really haven't taken me
10:34 up on that.
10:35 So it was just one of those times where there was truth somewhere and I was trying to help
10:40 people find it and I was trying to help people lead to a discussion that would be substantive
10:44 and then would actually kind of help all parties involved.
10:46 But it was just kind of met with this overwhelming sense of, Oh, well, you've offended me for
10:50 pointing something out that should have been obvious.
10:53 And there are some misconceptions about being offended overall.
10:58 So I just, as I was thinking through this, like one of the misconceptions about quote
11:01 unquote being offended is that people care that you're offended, right?
11:05 Like you're so offended and it's like literally crippling you at that moment.
11:09 Like this idea that all these other people should care about that is kind of silly.
11:13 And another misconception about being offended is that somehow the louder you scream, the
11:18 more we'll all care, right?
11:20 So we see that a lot with these movements where you have these people that'll, you know,
11:24 go out and, you know, ride in the streets or they'll go out and peaceably assemble in
11:27 the streets, but you know, block traffic or, you know, they'll go out and do these things
11:31 where they'll have these chants and they'll scream and they'll do these strikes and they'll
11:34 do all these things.
11:35 And it's just like, it's like they think the louder we can be, the louder I can yell
11:40 as an individual and the more people we can get to yell around us, that the more everybody
11:44 else will care about our plight and about our situation, which is pretty ridiculous as
11:48 well.
11:49 It's kind of kind of immature thinking, but, but kind of the last thing I thought about
11:52 in terms of a misconception about being offended is that, and then this was easily the most
11:56 important is that the level of your outrage somehow equals the level of your rightness.
12:02 I mean, I mean, just think about that.
12:04 A lot of people believe this, that the level of my personal outrage somehow equals my level
12:10 of rightness because here's the thing, guys, and I know there's some flat earthers out there.
12:14 If you're listening to this podcast, I'm probably going to offend you a bunch of different
12:16 times.
12:17 So you might hop on to another podcast.
12:19 But the thing about it is, is if I go outside or if I get on the news or if I get on social
12:22 media or something like that, and I just yell and scream and go crazy about how the earth
12:26 is definitely flat, then that the Illuminati has like tricked everybody into thinking that
12:31 the earth is round when it's actually flat.
12:35 Just because I'm outraged and just because I feel fervently about it and just because
12:38 I feel like I got to tell the world this and I got to do it at a high volume, that does
12:43 not mean I'm right.
12:45 Right?
12:46 I mean, that's kind of one of the things like I could go outside right now and, you know,
12:50 stand or climb a tree or something like that and scream, I'm in a tree, like I'm currently
12:54 in a tree.
12:55 This is a tree, like just because I'm yelling that doesn't mean I'm right, it's just clearly
13:00 a tree.
13:01 Like, I hope I'm being clear in this point, but it's just like so many people think that
13:04 because they're outraged and because they're offended, that means that they're correct.
13:08 Like that they're, they should be offended by something like that.
13:11 That's just kind of ridiculous.
13:12 And another thing that I think it's important to talk about here is there is really an important
13:17 distinction between opinions and truths or falsehoods.
13:21 Right?
13:22 So it's kind of a dichotomy there.
13:23 You have your opinions on one side and then you have truths or falsehoods over here.
13:27 And this is very, very important when you're thinking about through things, you know, through
13:31 like debate circumstances or where people might disagree with your point of view.
13:35 So what is an opinion?
13:36 An opinion is something that can't be proven true or false, right?
13:40 It just can't be done that way.
13:41 So your opinion is that LeBron James is the greatest basketball player of all time.
13:47 In my opinion, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time.
13:52 Who's right?
13:54 Some of you are like in your head saying, well, clearly this person, but it's not something
13:57 that can be proven one way or the other, right?
14:01 LeBron James is not the right answer.
14:03 And Michael Jordan is not the right answer.
14:04 And there's not another answer out there.
14:06 I mean, we could pull every basketball fan on the planet, billions of them.
14:10 And you know, 70% of them can agree with you and 30% of them can agree with me.
14:15 That doesn't make you right.
14:16 It just means that more people share your opinion.
14:19 So if in your opinion, blue is a superior color to red, that does not make it real.
14:24 It's an opinion, right?
14:25 I feel I feel like I'm in the Twilight zone having to even break it down to such an elementary
14:29 level.
14:30 But people actually conflate opinions and true or falsehoods, right?
14:35 So someone will say something ridiculous, like, well, in my opinion, the earth is flat.
14:39 Well, that's not an opinion that can either be proven true or proven false, right?
14:46 So in order for something to be a truth or falsehood, it has to be able to be studied
14:50 to be looked at and to be able to be proven one way or the other beyond a beyond a reasonable
14:54 doubt, you would think, right?
14:56 So again, something like red or blue or Michael Jordan or LeBron James or chocolate cake or
15:02 vanilla cake, like those are not things that can be proven one way or the other.
15:05 But you can say beyond a reasonable doubt, you can prove that LeBron James is a professional
15:10 basketball player.
15:12 You can prove that that cake in front of you is chocolate cake with chocolate icing.
15:15 Those are things that you can prove.
15:17 So I think that's a very important distinction for people to really think about as they're
15:20 going into these issues is like, is what this person is saying right now?
15:25 Is this an opinion or can this be proven true or false?
15:29 Because you have to be able to call people out when they say something will like, you
15:32 know, in my opinion, I just don't really think that you should be able to do that.
15:36 Okay.
15:37 Well, that that's an opinion.
15:38 Like you get, you're more than entitled to that, but it can't be an opinion, for instance,
15:42 but well, in my opinion, what's growing in that woman's stomach is not a baby.
15:46 Like it's not life.
15:47 It's not alive because that's ridiculous because science would, you know, prove you
15:50 otherwise.
15:51 So, um, and again, I'm going to go back to that quote from the very beginning, and that's
15:54 the Jordan Peterson quote that he used because I definitely want you all to kind of let that
15:57 sink in.
15:58 And that's this in order to be able to think you have to risk being offensive.
16:03 Okay.
16:04 So a really important thing for us to think about here is you have to risk offending people
16:08 if you ever want to find common ground.
16:10 So if you're entering into the fray into an argument or a discussion or a debate, whatever
16:14 you want to call it, you have to be able to risk offending people.
16:17 I mean, if you ever want to enter into the middle, you know, which is where understanding
16:21 is found between two sides or two people, you have to risk offending people.
16:26 And in a lot of ways, it's worth it.
16:28 Okay.
16:29 And so I was thinking through this and I wanted to give you all some practical questions that
16:33 you should ask yourself when considering whether or not you should do something offensive.
16:37 And for some of you guys, this is going to be old hat.
16:39 These are things that you just do is just kind of in your personality.
16:42 But also for some of you, you would never consider, you know, offending anybody.
16:46 That's not something you would ever consider doing.
16:47 So this may be helpful for you, but I think it's going to be helpful for all of us.
16:50 So these are the five questions I kind of thought through in terms of, okay, when you're
16:54 considering doing something offensive, here's what I should be thinking.
16:57 The first is, is this hill worth dying on?
17:01 So for me, guys, kind of, you know, life, I've talked about that a lot.
17:04 So the importance of life, the sanctity of human life abortion, that's, that's a hill
17:08 worth dying on for me, the, the, the gospel and the spreading of that message is worth
17:12 dying for my family's honor.
17:15 That's something that I think is, is a hill worth dying on.
17:18 And also truth, just truth in general, like if somebody is propagating something that
17:22 is clearly untrue, I think that's, you know, something you should consider trying to correct
17:27 in them.
17:28 Right.
17:29 A second question you should ask yourself is does what I'm planning to say need to be
17:33 said?
17:34 And, and guys, a lot of these questions are going to kind of flow in with one another.
17:37 So that's very relatable to the very first question I asked, but does what I'm planning
17:41 to say need to be said?
17:44 And here's the encouragement I would give to you all is don't ever assume that you're
17:48 the only one thinking what you're thinking.
17:50 Okay.
17:51 There are plenty of people out there that probably think the way you do and have the same opinion
17:55 and would like to say or do something, but there's too much of a pussy to do it.
17:58 Like, so don't always assume that you're, you're just on an island by yourself.
18:02 Now, every now and then you might be, you might have an opinion that is just literally
18:06 so off the wall that no one's really going to level with you.
18:08 But that was one of the thing with this whole teacher thing going on in Oklahoma.
18:10 I was surprised to hear so many people agree with me whenever I sat down with them and had
18:15 conversations with them because we were able to actually hammer this out and not just post
18:18 some stupid sign that I made and, you know, put it all up on our Facebook.
18:22 Third question you should ask yourself when considering doing something offensive is,
18:26 is there a chance that this will lead to something positive?
18:29 I think that's a really important question because sometimes, you know, it may be a hill
18:33 that's worth dying on and it is maybe something that needs to be said.
18:36 But gosh, there's just not really a positive outcome.
18:39 There's just not really a possibility of the positive outcome.
18:41 Now it could be the situation itself that kind of keeps that from being positive.
18:46 It could be the person that you would be saying it to.
18:48 Maybe they're an unschooled.
18:49 Maybe they're just someone that literally has a 0% chance of ever changing their mind
18:53 on a certain any issue, especially the issue you want to talk to them about.
18:56 So is there a chance that this will lead to something positive?
18:58 You should ask yourself that.
18:59 Another question you should ask yourself is, am I being needlessly abrasive?
19:04 So this is one I have to ask myself a lot like, okay, I need to be abrasive here in my opinion,
19:09 but am I being needlessly abrasive?
19:11 Am I being literally abrasive for no reason?
19:15 So that's an incredibly important thing for guys who do have that straightforward personality.
19:19 You know, if you ever took a leadership personality test and you came back like, you know, a buffalo
19:23 or rhinoceros or something like that, you know, those types of people really need to
19:27 think about that. And the last question that you need to ask yourself and probably the
19:30 most important one is, am I going to put out?
19:33 Am I going to put out and not say this or not bring this up, right?
19:37 So many men are, they're just afraid of coming off cough, coming off harshly.
19:42 Excuse me.
19:43 They just, they don't want to come off that way.
19:44 They don't want to seem like they're, they're being too judgmental or too harsh, right?
19:48 So many men are afraid of hurting people's feelings, right?
19:51 That's just kind of like, Oh gosh, I would bring this up.
19:53 But gosh, what's he going to say?
19:54 But here's the thing guys is, are you afraid of hurting, you know, your kids' feelings
19:59 when you snatch them up by their clothes to keep them from running into traffic?
20:02 Are you really concerned in that moment?
20:04 Are you like weighing out your options?
20:06 Like, are you afraid of hurting your hammered drunk buddy's feelings when you take his car
20:11 keys from him so he doesn't drive and kill himself or somebody else or both?
20:15 Right?
20:16 You're, you're not normally doing a Ben Franklin chart in your head of like, well, if I take
20:20 his keys and, you know, he might be mad, but gosh, you know, I might save his life, which
20:23 you know, that, that might be where two checks are like, you're not doing that, right?
20:27 There's so many times in our life where we're not concerned about offending people.
20:31 And then times when it actually matters, we, we just kind of climb up, right?
20:35 We push out.
20:36 So there's just no reason to do that.
20:38 So getting into kind of the meat here of the podcast, I want to talk about the art of
20:43 being offensive, okay?
20:45 Because there is an art to it, right?
20:46 So I just want you all to kind of follow me through this narrative and I'm going to give
20:49 you five always statements, right?
20:52 So these are things that you should always do.
20:55 And this is all part of the art of being offensive.
20:57 So the first statement is this, always be willing to cordially discuss the issue at hand, okay?
21:04 So and guys, this first one, this is the crux of all the rest of them.
21:07 The other four after this, right?
21:09 Because without a conversation with someone or a group of people, it's kind of useless.
21:14 So that's kind of the narrative that I'm spinning for is that you are entering into a conversation
21:18 with an actual person.
21:19 Because here's the thing, guys, most people on the offended side are completely content
21:24 with just getting mad or emotional and just kind of freaking out, right?
21:28 They're completely content with that.
21:30 And then on the offender side, most of those people are completely content with just kind
21:34 of, you know, pulling the pin on their grenade, dropping it and running away and hiding somewhere,
21:38 right?
21:39 But the thing is, is you always have to invite the people that you're potentially going to
21:44 offend to enter into a face to face discussion with you.
21:48 You have to do that, right?
21:50 Because it is so cowardly for people that are offended to just sit there and express
21:55 their outrage and rage and then not follow up and talk with you in person to see if they
22:00 even had your opinion right, if you express it in a way that they fully understood.
22:05 Same is true for for the offender, like if you're that person that just likes to jump
22:09 into conversations and, you know, set everything on fire and then take off running, like, don't
22:13 don't do that.
22:14 Like don't take the cowardly way out, like, and guys, I've really done this a bunch.
22:18 I've invited a lot of people to talk to me face to face about issues that could be potentially
22:24 very, you know, dramatic and very, you know, where I might offend them and they might
22:29 offend me.
22:30 I'm always asking people to do that.
22:31 So during the 2016 election, you know, I was supporting Senator Rubio for president.
22:36 I had a buddy who was supporting president Trump and neither one of us understood the
22:39 other person and where they came, where they were coming from.
22:42 And so me and this guy were able to kind of talk through that and we left still supporting
22:45 our guy, but, you know, it ended up, you know, having a deeper level of understanding from
22:49 one another.
22:50 But here's one thing that happened recently, you know, obviously I did that guns podcast.
22:54 I think it was episode number 10 on guns and the reality of evil.
22:58 So many people that I was around were saying we're just basically echoing and parroting
23:02 some of the anti gun arguments that were being made by people on the left or people on kind
23:07 of the mainstream media.
23:09 And so as opposed to just jumping down these people's throats and telling them how stupid
23:12 they are.
23:13 Hey, you know what, I'm going to send you this podcast episode.
23:16 I go into a lot of the myths around, you know, kind of gun violence and, you know, just some
23:22 of the things that people say on the left and the right that they, you know, kind of get
23:26 wrong on certain things and, you know, kind of will give you a primer as to my opinion
23:30 on some of these things.
23:31 And then I'd love to kind of just talk about that with you so that we could maybe find some
23:35 level of understanding.
23:36 You know, I could come your way a little bit or you can at least express your point of
23:39 view and I can do the same and I sent that podcast out to so many people and literally
23:43 had nobody follow up with me, right?
23:47 I basically threw down the gauntlet and said, Hey, I mean, you keep saying on social media
23:52 and on all these different things, how you just want to have a conversation with people
23:55 about quote unquote common sense gun control legislation.
23:59 That's what you want to talk about, right?
24:01 But the moment someone actually takes you up on the offer and says, yeah, let's have
24:04 a chat about it.
24:05 Like no one wants to do it.
24:06 I mean, same thing on this Oklahoma educational funding thing.
24:09 I invited scores of people to say, okay, it seems seems like you disagree with me on some
24:14 kind of core issues here.
24:15 And to be honest, I don't know that I fully understand your point of view because, you
24:19 know, it's just posted a few comments on Facebook.
24:21 How about we get together for coffee or for drinks on buying and let's have a chat about
24:25 it.
24:26 Nobody took me up on it.
24:27 I did have a couple of people reach out to me via text, which was nice.
24:30 We got to kind of express some of our opinions back and forth and we got to a level of understanding.
24:35 But again, you have to always be willing to discuss this cordially.
24:39 I know it's been a lot of time on this first point, but it's incredibly important.
24:42 Okay.
24:43 Always be willing to cordially discuss the issue at hand.
24:45 The second always statement is always ask good questions.
24:49 So again, assuming that you're in a conversation with these people, you have to ask good questions.
24:53 And so what are good questions?
24:54 Good questions are, you know, questions that keep the conversation moving forward.
24:57 Obviously, you want to keep the conversation on topic.
25:00 So questions that can help the conversation go in a direction and also keep both of the
25:04 parties on topic.
25:05 Those are effective.
25:06 You know, questions that allow you to gain some understanding of the other person's position.
25:11 Obviously, like if you're asking questions and the answers to those aren't really helping
25:15 you in any direction, that that's not really going to be useful.
25:18 And you know, questions that are that you're genuinely interested in the answers to, right?
25:23 So don't ask a bunch of questions that are off topic or on topic, but really not central
25:27 to what it is that you two are discussing.
25:29 So again, always ask good questions.
25:32 The third always statement is always summarize what the other person said.
25:36 So you're sitting in front of somebody, you ask them a question.
25:40 They're answering it for you.
25:42 Don't just blow into your next question, right?
25:44 Actually listen to what they're saying.
25:46 This will kind of keep you from, you know, just trying to go into the next question or
25:49 to the next point or something like that.
25:51 Repeat back to them what they said, but not verbatim obviously, but just kind of summarize
25:56 it just to make sure you're on the same page.
25:57 Because what you don't want to do is you don't want to go several steps down a useless rabbit
26:01 hole, because here you are, you know, assuming that you heard something that you didn't or
26:06 maybe they didn't communicate it very clearly.
26:09 Just, you know, parrot it back to them, say, well, you know, it would be fair to say that
26:12 your opinion is dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, and then get them to say yes or, well, no,
26:16 not exactly to kind of rephrase of my opinion on this and this or such and such.
26:22 That's going to be helpful for you.
26:23 Because again, you should be going in not trying to win an argument, but basically trying
26:27 to get some level of understanding, right?
26:29 So that's the third always statement.
26:31 The fourth always statement is always attack the dumb idea, not the dumb person, okay?
26:38 Always attack the dumb idea, not the dumb person.
26:40 Here's the thing, guys, in almost all cases of offense, right, someone is offended.
26:46 The person that's offended is operating off of emotion, not logic and reasoning.
26:51 Like that should be completely fair to say they're operating almost completely on emotion
26:55 and not logic and reasoning, right?
26:57 And I'm not saying that if you're ever offended that it's not justified, there are obviously
27:00 times where you can be justifiably offended by something.
27:04 But a lot of these things that are happening in culture right now, they're just not that
27:07 big a deal.
27:08 They seem like a big deal because somebody is, you know, operating off of, you know, basically
27:13 just emotions, just the things that are right in front of their face.
27:15 So the thing is is if their ideas are stupid, you should attack them.
27:20 The ideas to be clear attack the ideas, but don't attack the person.
27:25 So someone's like, yeah, man, you know, I just, you know, they're definitely flat, bro.
27:28 I think that there's flat.
27:29 They'll be like, Oh my gosh, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
27:32 And look, your haircut's stupid.
27:34 And how could anyone even think that that was like a good thing to do?
27:37 Like, why would you even say that?
27:38 Why did you open your face today?
27:39 And in fact, why did you even wake up?
27:40 Like, what is stupid thing to do to even wake up and come out here and spread your stupid
27:44 ignorant nonsense?
27:45 Right?
27:46 That's kind of an extreme thing.
27:47 But like, don't attack the person, right?
27:49 They have an honest reason for why they believe what they believe.
27:53 Maybe they've gotten bad advice.
27:54 Maybe they've been looking at the wrong news sources.
27:57 Maybe they've been looking at fake news sources.
27:59 You don't know.
28:00 Attack the dumb idea.
28:01 Because when you start attacking the person, you're never going to win them over and you're
28:04 certainly not going to win the argument about the idea, okay?
28:07 And the last always statement is always be willing to stand up for truth when truth is
28:12 able to be proven, okay?
28:14 We keep going back to this and I'm going to keep saying truth about a thousand times.
28:17 So play a drinking game with yourself, you know, drink every time I say the word truth.
28:21 Always be willing to stand up for truth, guys.
28:23 Because that's the thing is going back to the dumb idea concept, right?
28:27 Attack the dumb idea.
28:28 If truth can be determined, you have to fight for it.
28:32 If it's important, again, going back to this hill worth dying on.
28:35 If truth can be found, you have to fight for it, guys.
28:37 So again, the art of being offensive, there are five always statements that I think will
28:42 help you in your art to be offensive, right?
28:44 The first is always be willing to cordially discuss the issue at hand.
28:47 Second, always ask good questions.
28:50 Third, always summarize what the other person said.
28:53 Fourth, always attack the dumb idea, not the dumb person.
28:57 Fifth, always be willing to stand up for truth when truth is able to be proven.
29:02 Now there's a really important question that I think is really useful for all of us to
29:06 think about and that is when is it a good time to offend somebody, right?
29:11 When is it a good time?
29:12 When is it an appropriate time to offend someone, right?
29:14 And I think there are two answers to that question.
29:17 So I'm going to answer the question that I asked myself.
29:19 The first is when they need to be woken up, right?
29:22 And the second is when truth is on the line.
29:25 So when they need to be woken up and when truth is on the line, okay?
29:29 So many people are just content with being in the dark, guys.
29:33 They're just cool with it.
29:34 Like they don't want to be woken up.
29:36 I mean, guys, just look at this podcast has offended people.
29:40 Maybe not this particular episode, but maybe, but just look back on some of the episodes.
29:44 I mean, you know, I already mentioned the one about guns and the reality of evil.
29:47 Episode 10, the episode on abortion.
29:50 So that was episode number six.
29:51 If you want to go back and listen to that, obviously if you listen through that and you're
29:54 on the pro choice side of things, that's going to be very offensive.
29:57 And I hope it is because I described in detail what's happening in the womb and what happens
30:02 during abortions.
30:04 But also look at Pussy's and the pews.
30:06 That was episode number four.
30:07 And I said it in that episode, that's the line in the sand episode.
30:09 Like, if you can't be down with that episode in the philosophy they're in, you're not going
30:13 to make it very far.
30:15 You're just not going to like this.
30:16 Like why would I beg you to stay and listen to these types of things?
30:18 And the thing with that podcast is most of the people that were offended by it were church
30:22 people.
30:23 People that are in the church, people that like didn't like the fact that I was calling
30:25 them out.
30:26 That just wasn't very comfortable for them, right?
30:28 And some people are offended by my word choice.
30:30 And again, there might be some wisdom in that, but that's just kind of the thing is like,
30:33 this is how you guys talk.
30:36 So why in the world would I try to talk how I don't talk or talking away that doesn't
30:41 really make sense to you or is that is, you know, kind of bleached?
30:43 Why?
30:44 Like why would I do that?
30:45 But there's, there's always a good time to offend somebody and there's an appropriate
30:49 time to do that, right?
30:50 Because these people need to be woken up, try to wake them up, man.
30:53 Like if someone's walking around like, there was a kid that I'm mentoring.
30:56 He's a college student.
30:57 He's a, he's a freshman at a local university here in the Oakland city metro area.
31:01 And he's a, he's a devout Christian, but he also told me he's like, yeah, and I would
31:04 consider myself pro choice.
31:06 And so we got to have a discussion about that.
31:08 And so I entered into the fray with this young and just not to like prove him, like prove
31:13 him wrong and school him up.
31:14 But there were a lot of things he didn't understand that he was just basically spouting the same
31:18 nonsense that he had learned basically as a, as a freshman on campus and all these arguments
31:23 that people were saying about abortion and he didn't even know what an abortion was.
31:25 He didn't, like he knew what happened, but he didn't know in detail like what's happening
31:29 medically when, whenever that particular thing is going on.
31:32 So I had to be willing to offend him in order to go into that situation.
31:36 So yeah, he needed to be woken up and truth was on the line because he was saying some
31:39 really stupid things that weren't true.
31:42 And that was when I needed to get in there.
31:44 But here's the corollary for, for all of you guys.
31:46 So if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably a Christian male.
31:49 And even if you're not, I mean, thank you so much for listening in.
31:52 We're glad you're here.
31:54 But the most offensive thing in the history of mankind guys is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
31:59 Like what can you think of that would be more offensive than that?
32:04 So let's put it this way.
32:05 If you're a believer in another religion of some kind, or maybe you believe in another
32:08 God or gods or something like that, the gospel is really, really offensive, right?
32:14 I mean, if you worship yourself, like you worship at the altar of self, the gospel is
32:18 really offensive.
32:19 If you're a materialist or, you know, an evolutionary biologist, the gospel is very, very offensive.
32:24 I mean, if we're just highly evolved monkeys, I say that all the time, we're highly evolved
32:27 monkeys that wear pants.
32:29 That's what you think.
32:30 That's your paradigm in your brain.
32:31 The gospel is super offensive and it's offensive because it brings morality with it.
32:36 Like where did we get morality?
32:38 Where did we get moral law?
32:40 Where did we get truth, right?
32:43 And I just kind of go back to Matthew 10, 22.
32:45 I really loved what Jesus was saying here in this chapter.
32:49 There was a lot of great things that he said in this section, but specifically this one
32:53 on Matthew 10, 22 is, and you will be hated by all for my name's sake, but the one who
32:59 endures to the end will be saved, right?
33:01 I think that's an important thing.
33:02 Jesus was basically foreshadowing for us.
33:05 Guys, we're going to be hated for some of our positions.
33:08 And it's because those are my positions.
33:10 And if you say that you're a disciple of mine, this is how you need to act.
33:13 And these are the things that you need to believe because these are the things that
33:15 are true.
33:16 These are the things that are moral.
33:17 These are the things that you should do, right?
33:20 And guys, just to be honest with you, if you're in ministry and listening to this or even
33:23 if you're outside of vocational ministry, if the gospel that you present to people isn't
33:29 offensive, it's not the gospel.
33:32 It's just not.
33:34 The gospel in and of itself is an incredibly offensive thing because it goes directly
33:40 against our sin nature.
33:43 Everything in our nature wants to buck against that, right?
33:47 Like now, guys, don't, don't, don't misread me here.
33:50 Don't miss hear me.
33:51 This doesn't give you license to be a dick, like just present the gospel the way it is.
33:57 You don't need to add to it.
33:58 One of the most nefarious things I see in the modern day church is people try to like sprinkle
34:02 things onto the gospel as if it needed sprinkles.
34:04 It's like, guys, it's already sweet enough.
34:07 Like there's no sweeter news on the planet earth.
34:10 We don't need you to come up with some allegories or some sort of metaphor that helps us understand
34:15 it in a different way.
34:16 You're trying to change the gospel to make it more palatable for the rest of the public.
34:20 Why are you doing that?
34:22 And here's the thing, guys, with the gospel, when you're sharing it with people, when you're
34:26 trying to help them understand and see the good news, expect backlash, like expect hurt
34:30 feelings, you know, expect people to roll their eyes, expect nasty comments on social
34:35 media or, you know, text messages to you, and guys just deal with it.
34:40 I mean, life's tough.
34:41 Get a helmet.
34:42 Like this isn't about us.
34:44 It's about him.
34:45 It's about Jesus.
34:46 Like it's about the triune God.
34:48 So again, guys that are unwilling to enter into the fray and potentially offend somebody
34:55 on an important social issue, is that guy going to be more likely to offend people by
35:01 sharing the gospel, something that is infinitely more important than any social justice issue
35:06 that you could possibly imagine, someone's, you know, eternity and their rightness or
35:11 wrongness from God, their closeness or their distance from God.
35:15 I mean, we just got to think about that, guys.
35:17 So this is my encouragement to you.
35:19 And my encouragement is rock the boat, fellas.
35:22 I mean, rock the boat.
35:24 Look for opportunities to offend people in the direction of truth.
35:30 But that's one statement, guys, don't just take the first part of it.
35:33 Don't just look for opportunities to offend people, but look for opportunities to offend
35:36 people in the direction of truth, you know, offend them in the direction of the gospel,
35:42 using the gospel, defend them in the direction of wanting to protect the sanctity of human
35:47 life of what's growing inside of a woman's body.
35:50 You know, if you're in a situation where there's spousal abuse or child abuse happening, like
35:55 be able to enter in the fray and be offensive and to potentially protect somebody, you know,
36:00 Muslim fundamentalism and terrorism and jihad and things like that, you've got to be able
36:05 to potentially offend people to stand up for truth.
36:07 Hunger.
36:08 You have people that are not being fed well and not nourished in the right way.
36:12 And you know, I offend people by bringing up ways that they could help that they're not
36:16 doing right now.
36:17 Be willing to do that, like offend people that need to be woken up.
36:21 I mean, guys, what a sad, sad existence to be seen as, you know, the safe, nice guy, the
36:26 guy that never really rocked the boat, the guy just kind of putted his way through life,
36:30 right?
36:31 And that's what we're being told to do now, right?
36:33 Societally, that that's what they want men to be.
36:36 Just being a nice guy, you know, you know, wear your glasses and your sweater and, you
36:40 know, drive your minivan and I'm not hating on people that wear glasses and wear sweaters
36:44 and drive a minivan.
36:45 It's just kind of like, you know, you get this Mr. Rogers sense of who you're supposed
36:49 to be as a man.
36:50 And it's just like, dude, gosh, like rock.
36:52 You can't imagine Mr. Rogers rocking the boat and that's partially the point.
36:56 Like we want you guys to be able to enter the fray.
36:58 We want you to be tough.
36:59 We want you to be, you know, have resolved when you're going into these areas.
37:02 So allow this to be that encouragement to you.
37:04 And even if you would go so far as to say it, an inspiration for you to enter into those
37:08 situations, look for opportunities where you can do well and do good in this world.
37:13 And if you have to offend some people along the way, consider it a collateral damage that
37:18 you're okay with.
37:19 Okay.
37:20 So guys, as you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating manly
37:24 resilience.
37:25 We're going to move into the quick resilience boost here in the podcast.
37:29 And so one thing that we do in this ministry is that we provide content that for just spiritual,
37:33 mental and physical toughness.
37:34 So I don't normally talk about physical resilience on the podcast, but I do want to talk about
37:38 it today, just shifting gears just a little bit.
37:41 Please go to our Instagram page.
37:42 Okay.
37:43 So if you go to Instagram, if you're not on Instagram, you know, maybe get on it.
37:46 I mean, I'll provide the links for these videos to you anyway, but you can follow us there
37:50 at undaunted life.
37:51 So just search at undaunted life.
37:53 The last two Tuesdays, I posted a challenge, a workout challenge.
37:57 So every Tuesday morning, I post a workout of the week.
38:00 So I try to change up the body parts, change up what we're working on and all those different
38:03 things.
38:04 But last week, I did a burpee challenge.
38:07 And this week, I did a Hindu squat challenge.
38:09 Okay.
38:10 So burpee challenge was basically as many burpees as possible in one set, right?
38:15 So in by set, I mean, like, okay, you don't do like 50 burpees and then go, you know, chug
38:20 some Gatorade and then come back five minutes later and then start doing some more.
38:23 I mean, like the most amount of a break you're taking is, you know, standing up, putting
38:27 your hands on your hips and taking, you know, a few deep breaths and then just keep going.
38:31 So as many as you can, right?
38:33 And then the one that I just posted on Tuesday of this week was Hindu squats, right?
38:38 So I'll send out the link and they'll be attached to this podcast, these podcast notes as well.
38:44 But basically it shows you what a Hindu squat is.
38:47 And so it's just basically a body weight squat, but it's kind of one continuous motion.
38:52 So I just want to send you guys there.
38:54 So make sure that you follow us on Instagram so that you can see those workouts every single
38:57 week because I know a lot of guys are actually doing these and it's helping kind of get them
39:01 motivated and get them kind of jump started, especially if they're trying to work on their
39:04 physical resilience.
39:05 So and also posts in there, how many you did.
39:08 So on the burpee challenge, I had guys posting how many they did on the Hindu squat challenge,
39:12 they can do that as well.
39:13 So make sure you go over there and check that out, all right?
39:15 So guys, thank you again as always for listening into this podcast.
39:18 If you would, please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud or Google Play and refer your friends to listen
39:23 and share this on social media.
39:24 If you use the hashtag on Daunted Life, we'll find it and make sure that we like it.
39:28 Okay.
39:29 If we deserve a five star review, guys, please leave one.
39:31 We're currently five star reviewed on iTunes, which is fantastic.
39:34 So let's keep that going.
39:35 I am booking speaking engagements for 2018.
39:38 So if you're interested in having me come speak to your company or to your team or to
39:42 your school or to your men's group or your church or whatever, please send me an email
39:46 at info@undaunted.life, again, that's info@undaunted.life.
39:51 Our website is www.undaunted.life.
39:54 You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undaunted life and facebook.com backslash
39:58 undaunted life.
40:00 You can also check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible app.
40:03 Just search undaunted life under plans.
40:05 And as always, we want to thank the band, August Burns Red for allowing us to use their
40:08 music library for our content.
40:10 The intro outro track on this podcast is their song King of Sorrow, which is off their latest
40:14 record entitled Phantom Anthem.
40:16 Links to all this are in the description.
40:19 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
40:21 Remember, keep cultivating manly resilience, keep forging spiritual, mental and physical
40:26 toughness, keep seeking the lion a dream.
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