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This is Undaunted Life, a man's podcast.
0:43
I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
0:45
Let's get into it.
0:46
In order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive, so that's a quote from
0:51
Jordan Peterson.
0:52
No, this is not going to turn into a Jordan Peterson fanboy podcast, but that was a quote
0:57
from the interview that he did with Channel 3 or Channel 4 news over in the UK, and that
1:02
was the one that kind of got him all this notoriety right before his book came out.
1:06
It's where, and I've suggested that you watch that interview before, but that was the center
1:11
point of that entire interview.
1:13
It was a very contentious interview, lasted about 20 or 30 minutes, something like that,
1:17
but that was the part where Jordan Peterson separated himself from this woman that was
1:20
asking him all these crazy questions and kind of twisting his words around.
1:24
And so we live right now, and perhaps the most easily offended time in human history.
1:31
I mean, people are so easily offended.
1:34
They don't even try to have thick skin in a lot of different ways, right?
1:38
People literally will seek out opportunities to be offended, right?
1:41
So there are people that will actually go on social media, right, and you all know this
1:44
to be true.
1:45
They will actually go to social media expecting to become outraged at a topic, and then they
1:51
strike, right, they'll, they'll like attack the person for whatever topic they're talking
1:54
about.
1:55
So, you know, after an election, they'll assume that somebody on the winning side is going
1:59
to post something, you know, congratulatory or excited, and they go on there because they
2:04
know they're going to be offended, or something happens in the news or Trump tweets something
2:08
or something goes down, and then they go there looking to be offended.
2:11
But also you have a lot of people that identify into these like tribes of offended people.
2:17
Like people kind of like to have a tribe.
2:18
Like it's this is my team, and we're going to be offended as a group.
2:21
So you'll have people that are more liberal on the political scale, and they'll be offended
2:25
by anyone that really doesn't think like them or vote like them.
2:28
You'll have conservatives that are offended by anyone that, you know, doesn't display
2:32
like fervent patriotism for the United States or something like that.
2:36
You have the social justice warrior types that are offended by anyone whose entire life
2:40
isn't about equality of outcome.
2:42
I mean, you have vegans that, you know, they'll attack people that eat meat or, you know,
2:46
drink milk or whatever they attack these days and even like, you know, CrossFit people.
2:50
You'll have CrossFit people that will attack anyone that thinks that another way of working
2:54
out is proper for them, right?
2:56
Like everyone's got this group that they want to identify with, and then they become offended
3:01
as a group, right?
3:02
And we live in this boycott culture as well, and we've seen a lot of that actually coming
3:05
up lately.
3:06
So if you have like a newscaster that says something that you don't like, then you announce a boycott,
3:11
which almost never really works, you kind of get the opposite reaction, people kind of like
3:16
stick to their guns and, you know, kind of support that individual.
3:19
But we see that a lot now to where it's like, somebody does something or an employee for
3:23
this large conglomeration or this large company makes a mistake.
3:27
And then people were like, well, I'm never going to eat there again, or I'm never going
3:29
to buy those products again because of this offensive thing, right?
3:32
I mean, even recently, we saw this with David Hogg and Laura Ingraham.
3:37
So Laura Ingraham is a she's an opinion host on Fox News.
3:41
And then David Hogg is one of the more outspoken students from the school shooting there in
3:46
Florida that happened just a couple of months ago.
3:49
And you know, she subtweeted him something that he said on Twitter.
3:53
People thought it was offensive, what she said.
3:54
And then so David Hogg announced that they were going to do a boycott of all of Laura
3:58
Ingraham's advertisers.
3:59
And so they did that and a lot of her advertisers dropped, but a lot of her advertisers stayed.
4:04
And then she came back from a vacation and all of her ratings went up, right?
4:08
So it was just kind of one of those deals where it's like, you know, we're going to
4:12
boycott stuff because we're so offended.
4:14
And being offended is like a new Olympic sport, right?
4:17
So so we've got to like look for these opportunities, like who can be the most offended?
4:21
Like we're always second guessing the motives of a speaker or some politician that says
4:25
something or maybe uses a common axiom, like, Oh, were they were they being sexist or were
4:29
they being racist?
4:30
Or was there, you know, some ulterior motive?
4:32
Are they white supremacists?
4:33
Or are they a black nationalist?
4:34
Like we always think in those terms, you know, everyone has some issue and some of those
4:39
issues are rather useless, but they treat this issue like it's life or death.
4:43
And here's the thing guys is I'll just kind of be honest with you.
4:46
Again, I'm 31 years old, but I used to offend people a lot and really for no reason.
4:52
It was just kind of a part of my past and part of not really my upbringing, but I just
4:56
I used to offend people and I kind of liked it, I guess.
4:59
Like I wanted to be brash.
5:01
I wanted to be abrasive, like I wanted to be seen as as tough or like the guy that's
5:07
going to have an opinion or something like that.
5:09
But it wasn't always very positive and in a lot of ways it wasn't really ever positive.
5:15
And so it wasn't really one of the best things that I could have done with my time was,
5:18
you know, trying to offend people and be offensive.
5:21
And the thing is, is I have a very straightforward personality, right?
5:24
So I don't just talk like I do right now in this podcast, just when I'm podcasting,
5:28
I mean, I talk like this a lot.
5:30
So it's just going to happen by virtue of the way my personality is and how I'm wired,
5:35
but I'm way more calculated now than I was when I was 18, you know, entering into college
5:40
and just saying and doing stupid things, right?
5:43
And so I think it's okay to be calculated in how you're offending people and I am going
5:48
to be talking a lot about that particular subject matter today in this podcast.
5:51
So with this podcast, I really want to talk about how there really is an art to being
5:57
offensive, right? And kind of when to use being offensive and how it can be used positively.
6:03
Okay.
6:04
And so in a lot of ways and you've seen me talk about this on other podcasts, like I want
6:08
this podcast to be relevant.
6:10
I want it to be time sensitive as well.
6:12
So if there's something that's in the news that's really important that I think you guys
6:15
would be interested in hearing my opinion on or just hearing a different opinion on, then
6:19
I try to, you know, I'll bump whatever episode I had for that week into a future episode
6:24
or something like that.
6:25
So we've seen that done with abortion and the abortion, you know, the March for Life
6:30
that was happening.
6:31
We saw it with the school shooting in Florida and, you know, I made an episode about guns
6:35
and violence, but something came up recently and this kind of helped me kind of think through
6:40
my philosophy on offending people and things like that.
6:44
And lo and behold, it was because, you know, I had offended some people.
6:46
So if you're not familiar with what's going on right now in the state of Oklahoma, which
6:50
is my home state where I'm born and raised and where I currently reside, there is a massive
6:55
teacher strike that just took place.
6:58
So it actually ended last Friday if you're listening to this on time.
7:01
So it would have, you know, ended basically mid April, but for two weeks legislators were
7:07
kind of bombarded down at the state Capitol by teachers and people that support teachers
7:11
and these teachers were demanding more funding for Oklahoma education and pay raises.
7:16
So just to kind of give you a little bit of background, the state of Oklahoma is really,
7:21
really low in terms of funding per student.
7:23
I think it's 48 out of 50 50 states in terms of state funding and also in terms of what's
7:30
what teachers are paid, right.
7:32
And so it's become a major issue in the state has done a lot of different things to try
7:37
and fix that or so we were told, right?
7:39
You know, we brought the lottery to this state that was supposed to fix education.
7:42
We brought casinos to the state that was supposed to fix education.
7:45
I think before that they had like a per glass liquor tax of some kind and it was always
7:50
supposed to fix education, it never really happened.
7:53
So what's happened is Oklahoma teachers are paid very, very poorly.
7:56
They don't make a whole lot of money and they're below the regional average.
8:00
And so they're they're trying to go out there and get this funding.
8:03
So there's all this outrage, right, and everyone supporting the teachers.
8:07
And if you just looked at Facebook and especially here in Oklahoma, you would think that every
8:12
kind of everybody kind of agreed that, you know, this should happen and, you know, let's
8:16
raise taxes and let's do what we need to do because we support our teachers.
8:20
But you know, what I encourage you all to do and what I do a lot myself is I try to
8:24
go at least one or two levels below whatever the thing is that we're talking about, right?
8:28
Because on a surface level, should teachers be paid more?
8:31
Obviously, like everyone would agree with that.
8:33
Our teachers important.
8:34
Yes.
8:35
Everyone agrees with that.
8:36
But then you go one step below that and you go, well, okay, what is the most prudent way
8:39
to fund that, you know, because we can't just, you know, pull a hundred dollar bills out
8:44
of our rear ends.
8:45
We've got to have a plan for that.
8:46
And so what I noticed when talking to people into the in the community and kind of getting
8:51
their opinions, a lot of people had the same opinions that I did, which is we love teachers.
8:57
We want teachers to be paid more.
8:59
We want them to stay in this state.
9:01
We don't want them going to other states so that they can, you know, be paid more to
9:05
teach in Texas or Arkansas or somewhere else in the country.
9:08
But you know, they also kind of shared some of my hesitations with, hey, the government
9:13
of the Oklahoma saying, hey, just give us some more money and we'll be able to fix this
9:16
teaching thing because because they've kind of done that before.
9:19
And so I put a post out there on Facebook, just basically summarizing some of the thoughts
9:24
that I had and also some of the, the things that came from the conversations I was having
9:28
with some other people.
9:29
And it's things that we should all be able to agree on because it's, it's very logic
9:34
based stuff.
9:35
So can we all agree that teachers in Oklahoma should be paid more?
9:38
Yes.
9:39
We all agree that no one is forcing a teacher to be a teacher.
9:43
Yes.
9:44
I mean, because obviously our teachers aren't going to school with some mob guy behind them
9:48
with a gun to their head saying, you will teach these kids.
9:50
You will keep your teaching contract.
9:52
Like it was basic logic things.
9:54
And then there were some opinion things in there as well.
9:57
But this post was met with unbelievable animus.
10:01
Like it was really kind of flabbergasting the, the type of comments that I received for putting
10:07
something out there that was again, intended to be like, Hey, we should all be able to
10:10
agree on these things.
10:12
And let's think a little deeper on this issue.
10:14
And I had a lot of people reach out to me and say, Oh man, I'm with you.
10:17
Like I'm, I'm completely with you on this.
10:19
But gosh, you know, it's just such a hot time to post something about that.
10:23
And so it was just a really, really interesting thing that happened.
10:26
And you know, I've, I've invited some people to, to try and chat with me about that and
10:30
to talk with me a little bit about their opinions and people really haven't taken me
10:34
up on that.
10:35
So it was just one of those times where there was truth somewhere and I was trying to help
10:40
people find it and I was trying to help people lead to a discussion that would be substantive
10:44
and then would actually kind of help all parties involved.
10:46
But it was just kind of met with this overwhelming sense of, Oh, well, you've offended me for
10:50
pointing something out that should have been obvious.
10:53
And there are some misconceptions about being offended overall.
10:58
So I just, as I was thinking through this, like one of the misconceptions about quote
11:01
unquote being offended is that people care that you're offended, right?
11:05
Like you're so offended and it's like literally crippling you at that moment.
11:09
Like this idea that all these other people should care about that is kind of silly.
11:13
And another misconception about being offended is that somehow the louder you scream, the
11:18
more we'll all care, right?
11:20
So we see that a lot with these movements where you have these people that'll, you know,
11:24
go out and, you know, ride in the streets or they'll go out and peaceably assemble in
11:27
the streets, but you know, block traffic or, you know, they'll go out and do these things
11:31
where they'll have these chants and they'll scream and they'll do these strikes and they'll
11:34
do all these things.
11:35
And it's just like, it's like they think the louder we can be, the louder I can yell
11:40
as an individual and the more people we can get to yell around us, that the more everybody
11:44
else will care about our plight and about our situation, which is pretty ridiculous as
11:48
well.
11:49
It's kind of kind of immature thinking, but, but kind of the last thing I thought about
11:52
in terms of a misconception about being offended is that, and then this was easily the most
11:56
important is that the level of your outrage somehow equals the level of your rightness.
12:02
I mean, I mean, just think about that.
12:04
A lot of people believe this, that the level of my personal outrage somehow equals my level
12:10
of rightness because here's the thing, guys, and I know there's some flat earthers out there.
12:14
If you're listening to this podcast, I'm probably going to offend you a bunch of different
12:16
times.
12:17
So you might hop on to another podcast.
12:19
But the thing about it is, is if I go outside or if I get on the news or if I get on social
12:22
media or something like that, and I just yell and scream and go crazy about how the earth
12:26
is definitely flat, then that the Illuminati has like tricked everybody into thinking that
12:31
the earth is round when it's actually flat.
12:35
Just because I'm outraged and just because I feel fervently about it and just because
12:38
I feel like I got to tell the world this and I got to do it at a high volume, that does
12:43
not mean I'm right.
12:45
Right?
12:46
I mean, that's kind of one of the things like I could go outside right now and, you know,
12:50
stand or climb a tree or something like that and scream, I'm in a tree, like I'm currently
12:54
in a tree.
12:55
This is a tree, like just because I'm yelling that doesn't mean I'm right, it's just clearly
13:00
a tree.
13:01
Like, I hope I'm being clear in this point, but it's just like so many people think that
13:04
because they're outraged and because they're offended, that means that they're correct.
13:08
Like that they're, they should be offended by something like that.
13:11
That's just kind of ridiculous.
13:12
And another thing that I think it's important to talk about here is there is really an important
13:17
distinction between opinions and truths or falsehoods.
13:21
Right?
13:22
So it's kind of a dichotomy there.
13:23
You have your opinions on one side and then you have truths or falsehoods over here.
13:27
And this is very, very important when you're thinking about through things, you know, through
13:31
like debate circumstances or where people might disagree with your point of view.
13:35
So what is an opinion?
13:36
An opinion is something that can't be proven true or false, right?
13:40
It just can't be done that way.
13:41
So your opinion is that LeBron James is the greatest basketball player of all time.
13:47
In my opinion, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time.
13:52
Who's right?
13:54
Some of you are like in your head saying, well, clearly this person, but it's not something
13:57
that can be proven one way or the other, right?
14:01
LeBron James is not the right answer.
14:03
And Michael Jordan is not the right answer.
14:04
And there's not another answer out there.
14:06
I mean, we could pull every basketball fan on the planet, billions of them.
14:10
And you know, 70% of them can agree with you and 30% of them can agree with me.
14:15
That doesn't make you right.
14:16
It just means that more people share your opinion.
14:19
So if in your opinion, blue is a superior color to red, that does not make it real.
14:24
It's an opinion, right?
14:25
I feel I feel like I'm in the Twilight zone having to even break it down to such an elementary
14:29
level.
14:30
But people actually conflate opinions and true or falsehoods, right?
14:35
So someone will say something ridiculous, like, well, in my opinion, the earth is flat.
14:39
Well, that's not an opinion that can either be proven true or proven false, right?
14:46
So in order for something to be a truth or falsehood, it has to be able to be studied
14:50
to be looked at and to be able to be proven one way or the other beyond a beyond a reasonable
14:54
doubt, you would think, right?
14:56
So again, something like red or blue or Michael Jordan or LeBron James or chocolate cake or
15:02
vanilla cake, like those are not things that can be proven one way or the other.
15:05
But you can say beyond a reasonable doubt, you can prove that LeBron James is a professional
15:10
basketball player.
15:12
You can prove that that cake in front of you is chocolate cake with chocolate icing.
15:15
Those are things that you can prove.
15:17
So I think that's a very important distinction for people to really think about as they're
15:20
going into these issues is like, is what this person is saying right now?
15:25
Is this an opinion or can this be proven true or false?
15:29
Because you have to be able to call people out when they say something will like, you
15:32
know, in my opinion, I just don't really think that you should be able to do that.
15:36
Okay.
15:37
Well, that that's an opinion.
15:38
Like you get, you're more than entitled to that, but it can't be an opinion, for instance,
15:42
but well, in my opinion, what's growing in that woman's stomach is not a baby.
15:46
Like it's not life.
15:47
It's not alive because that's ridiculous because science would, you know, prove you
15:50
otherwise.
15:51
So, um, and again, I'm going to go back to that quote from the very beginning, and that's
15:54
the Jordan Peterson quote that he used because I definitely want you all to kind of let that
15:57
sink in.
15:58
And that's this in order to be able to think you have to risk being offensive.
16:03
Okay.
16:04
So a really important thing for us to think about here is you have to risk offending people
16:08
if you ever want to find common ground.
16:10
So if you're entering into the fray into an argument or a discussion or a debate, whatever
16:14
you want to call it, you have to be able to risk offending people.
16:17
I mean, if you ever want to enter into the middle, you know, which is where understanding
16:21
is found between two sides or two people, you have to risk offending people.
16:26
And in a lot of ways, it's worth it.
16:28
Okay.
16:29
And so I was thinking through this and I wanted to give you all some practical questions that
16:33
you should ask yourself when considering whether or not you should do something offensive.
16:37
And for some of you guys, this is going to be old hat.
16:39
These are things that you just do is just kind of in your personality.
16:42
But also for some of you, you would never consider, you know, offending anybody.
16:46
That's not something you would ever consider doing.
16:47
So this may be helpful for you, but I think it's going to be helpful for all of us.
16:50
So these are the five questions I kind of thought through in terms of, okay, when you're
16:54
considering doing something offensive, here's what I should be thinking.
16:57
The first is, is this hill worth dying on?
17:01
So for me, guys, kind of, you know, life, I've talked about that a lot.
17:04
So the importance of life, the sanctity of human life abortion, that's, that's a hill
17:08
worth dying on for me, the, the, the gospel and the spreading of that message is worth
17:12
dying for my family's honor.
17:15
That's something that I think is, is a hill worth dying on.
17:18
And also truth, just truth in general, like if somebody is propagating something that
17:22
is clearly untrue, I think that's, you know, something you should consider trying to correct
17:27
in them.
17:28
Right.
17:29
A second question you should ask yourself is does what I'm planning to say need to be
17:33
said?
17:34
And, and guys, a lot of these questions are going to kind of flow in with one another.
17:37
So that's very relatable to the very first question I asked, but does what I'm planning
17:41
to say need to be said?
17:44
And here's the encouragement I would give to you all is don't ever assume that you're
17:48
the only one thinking what you're thinking.
17:50
Okay.
17:51
There are plenty of people out there that probably think the way you do and have the same opinion
17:55
and would like to say or do something, but there's too much of a pussy to do it.
17:58
Like, so don't always assume that you're, you're just on an island by yourself.
18:02
Now, every now and then you might be, you might have an opinion that is just literally
18:06
so off the wall that no one's really going to level with you.
18:08
But that was one of the thing with this whole teacher thing going on in Oklahoma.
18:10
I was surprised to hear so many people agree with me whenever I sat down with them and had
18:15
conversations with them because we were able to actually hammer this out and not just post
18:18
some stupid sign that I made and, you know, put it all up on our Facebook.
18:22
Third question you should ask yourself when considering doing something offensive is,
18:26
is there a chance that this will lead to something positive?
18:29
I think that's a really important question because sometimes, you know, it may be a hill
18:33
that's worth dying on and it is maybe something that needs to be said.
18:36
But gosh, there's just not really a positive outcome.
18:39
There's just not really a possibility of the positive outcome.
18:41
Now it could be the situation itself that kind of keeps that from being positive.
18:46
It could be the person that you would be saying it to.
18:48
Maybe they're an unschooled.
18:49
Maybe they're just someone that literally has a 0% chance of ever changing their mind
18:53
on a certain any issue, especially the issue you want to talk to them about.
18:56
So is there a chance that this will lead to something positive?
18:58
You should ask yourself that.
18:59
Another question you should ask yourself is, am I being needlessly abrasive?
19:04
So this is one I have to ask myself a lot like, okay, I need to be abrasive here in my opinion,
19:09
but am I being needlessly abrasive?
19:11
Am I being literally abrasive for no reason?
19:15
So that's an incredibly important thing for guys who do have that straightforward personality.
19:19
You know, if you ever took a leadership personality test and you came back like, you know, a buffalo
19:23
or rhinoceros or something like that, you know, those types of people really need to
19:27
think about that. And the last question that you need to ask yourself and probably the
19:30
most important one is, am I going to put out?
19:33
Am I going to put out and not say this or not bring this up, right?
19:37
So many men are, they're just afraid of coming off cough, coming off harshly.
19:42
Excuse me.
19:43
They just, they don't want to come off that way.
19:44
They don't want to seem like they're, they're being too judgmental or too harsh, right?
19:48
So many men are afraid of hurting people's feelings, right?
19:51
That's just kind of like, Oh gosh, I would bring this up.
19:53
But gosh, what's he going to say?
19:54
But here's the thing guys is, are you afraid of hurting, you know, your kids' feelings
19:59
when you snatch them up by their clothes to keep them from running into traffic?
20:02
Are you really concerned in that moment?
20:04
Are you like weighing out your options?
20:06
Like, are you afraid of hurting your hammered drunk buddy's feelings when you take his car
20:11
keys from him so he doesn't drive and kill himself or somebody else or both?
20:15
Right?
20:16
You're, you're not normally doing a Ben Franklin chart in your head of like, well, if I take
20:20
his keys and, you know, he might be mad, but gosh, you know, I might save his life, which
20:23
you know, that, that might be where two checks are like, you're not doing that, right?
20:27
There's so many times in our life where we're not concerned about offending people.
20:31
And then times when it actually matters, we, we just kind of climb up, right?
20:35
We push out.
20:36
So there's just no reason to do that.
20:38
So getting into kind of the meat here of the podcast, I want to talk about the art of
20:43
being offensive, okay?
20:45
Because there is an art to it, right?
20:46
So I just want you all to kind of follow me through this narrative and I'm going to give
20:49
you five always statements, right?
20:52
So these are things that you should always do.
20:55
And this is all part of the art of being offensive.
20:57
So the first statement is this, always be willing to cordially discuss the issue at hand, okay?
21:04
So and guys, this first one, this is the crux of all the rest of them.
21:07
The other four after this, right?
21:09
Because without a conversation with someone or a group of people, it's kind of useless.
21:14
So that's kind of the narrative that I'm spinning for is that you are entering into a conversation
21:18
with an actual person.
21:19
Because here's the thing, guys, most people on the offended side are completely content
21:24
with just getting mad or emotional and just kind of freaking out, right?
21:28
They're completely content with that.
21:30
And then on the offender side, most of those people are completely content with just kind
21:34
of, you know, pulling the pin on their grenade, dropping it and running away and hiding somewhere,
21:38
right?
21:39
But the thing is, is you always have to invite the people that you're potentially going to
21:44
offend to enter into a face to face discussion with you.
21:48
You have to do that, right?
21:50
Because it is so cowardly for people that are offended to just sit there and express
21:55
their outrage and rage and then not follow up and talk with you in person to see if they
22:00
even had your opinion right, if you express it in a way that they fully understood.
22:05
Same is true for for the offender, like if you're that person that just likes to jump
22:09
into conversations and, you know, set everything on fire and then take off running, like, don't
22:13
don't do that.
22:14
Like don't take the cowardly way out, like, and guys, I've really done this a bunch.
22:18
I've invited a lot of people to talk to me face to face about issues that could be potentially
22:24
very, you know, dramatic and very, you know, where I might offend them and they might
22:29
offend me.
22:30
I'm always asking people to do that.
22:31
So during the 2016 election, you know, I was supporting Senator Rubio for president.
22:36
I had a buddy who was supporting president Trump and neither one of us understood the
22:39
other person and where they came, where they were coming from.
22:42
And so me and this guy were able to kind of talk through that and we left still supporting
22:45
our guy, but, you know, it ended up, you know, having a deeper level of understanding from
22:49
one another.
22:50
But here's one thing that happened recently, you know, obviously I did that guns podcast.
22:54
I think it was episode number 10 on guns and the reality of evil.
22:58
So many people that I was around were saying we're just basically echoing and parroting
23:02
some of the anti gun arguments that were being made by people on the left or people on kind
23:07
of the mainstream media.
23:09
And so as opposed to just jumping down these people's throats and telling them how stupid
23:12
they are.
23:13
Hey, you know what, I'm going to send you this podcast episode.
23:16
I go into a lot of the myths around, you know, kind of gun violence and, you know, just some
23:22
of the things that people say on the left and the right that they, you know, kind of get
23:26
wrong on certain things and, you know, kind of will give you a primer as to my opinion
23:30
on some of these things.
23:31
And then I'd love to kind of just talk about that with you so that we could maybe find some
23:35
level of understanding.
23:36
You know, I could come your way a little bit or you can at least express your point of
23:39
view and I can do the same and I sent that podcast out to so many people and literally
23:43
had nobody follow up with me, right?
23:47
I basically threw down the gauntlet and said, Hey, I mean, you keep saying on social media
23:52
and on all these different things, how you just want to have a conversation with people
23:55
about quote unquote common sense gun control legislation.
23:59
That's what you want to talk about, right?
24:01
But the moment someone actually takes you up on the offer and says, yeah, let's have
24:04
a chat about it.
24:05
Like no one wants to do it.
24:06
I mean, same thing on this Oklahoma educational funding thing.
24:09
I invited scores of people to say, okay, it seems seems like you disagree with me on some
24:14
kind of core issues here.
24:15
And to be honest, I don't know that I fully understand your point of view because, you
24:19
know, it's just posted a few comments on Facebook.
24:21
How about we get together for coffee or for drinks on buying and let's have a chat about
24:25
it.
24:26
Nobody took me up on it.
24:27
I did have a couple of people reach out to me via text, which was nice.
24:30
We got to kind of express some of our opinions back and forth and we got to a level of understanding.
24:35
But again, you have to always be willing to discuss this cordially.
24:39
I know it's been a lot of time on this first point, but it's incredibly important.
24:42
Okay.
24:43
Always be willing to cordially discuss the issue at hand.
24:45
The second always statement is always ask good questions.
24:49
So again, assuming that you're in a conversation with these people, you have to ask good questions.
24:53
And so what are good questions?
24:54
Good questions are, you know, questions that keep the conversation moving forward.
24:57
Obviously, you want to keep the conversation on topic.
25:00
So questions that can help the conversation go in a direction and also keep both of the
25:04
parties on topic.
25:05
Those are effective.
25:06
You know, questions that allow you to gain some understanding of the other person's position.
25:11
Obviously, like if you're asking questions and the answers to those aren't really helping
25:15
you in any direction, that that's not really going to be useful.
25:18
And you know, questions that are that you're genuinely interested in the answers to, right?
25:23
So don't ask a bunch of questions that are off topic or on topic, but really not central
25:27
to what it is that you two are discussing.
25:29
So again, always ask good questions.
25:32
The third always statement is always summarize what the other person said.
25:36
So you're sitting in front of somebody, you ask them a question.
25:40
They're answering it for you.
25:42
Don't just blow into your next question, right?
25:44
Actually listen to what they're saying.
25:46
This will kind of keep you from, you know, just trying to go into the next question or
25:49
to the next point or something like that.
25:51
Repeat back to them what they said, but not verbatim obviously, but just kind of summarize
25:56
it just to make sure you're on the same page.
25:57
Because what you don't want to do is you don't want to go several steps down a useless rabbit
26:01
hole, because here you are, you know, assuming that you heard something that you didn't or
26:06
maybe they didn't communicate it very clearly.
26:09
Just, you know, parrot it back to them, say, well, you know, it would be fair to say that
26:12
your opinion is dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, and then get them to say yes or, well, no,
26:16
not exactly to kind of rephrase of my opinion on this and this or such and such.
26:22
That's going to be helpful for you.
26:23
Because again, you should be going in not trying to win an argument, but basically trying
26:27
to get some level of understanding, right?
26:29
So that's the third always statement.
26:31
The fourth always statement is always attack the dumb idea, not the dumb person, okay?
26:38
Always attack the dumb idea, not the dumb person.
26:40
Here's the thing, guys, in almost all cases of offense, right, someone is offended.
26:46
The person that's offended is operating off of emotion, not logic and reasoning.
26:51
Like that should be completely fair to say they're operating almost completely on emotion
26:55
and not logic and reasoning, right?
26:57
And I'm not saying that if you're ever offended that it's not justified, there are obviously
27:00
times where you can be justifiably offended by something.
27:04
But a lot of these things that are happening in culture right now, they're just not that
27:07
big a deal.
27:08
They seem like a big deal because somebody is, you know, operating off of, you know, basically
27:13
just emotions, just the things that are right in front of their face.
27:15
So the thing is is if their ideas are stupid, you should attack them.
27:20
The ideas to be clear attack the ideas, but don't attack the person.
27:25
So someone's like, yeah, man, you know, I just, you know, they're definitely flat, bro.
27:28
I think that there's flat.
27:29
They'll be like, Oh my gosh, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
27:32
And look, your haircut's stupid.
27:34
And how could anyone even think that that was like a good thing to do?
27:37
Like, why would you even say that?
27:38
Why did you open your face today?
27:39
And in fact, why did you even wake up?
27:40
Like, what is stupid thing to do to even wake up and come out here and spread your stupid
27:44
ignorant nonsense?
27:45
Right?
27:46
That's kind of an extreme thing.
27:47
But like, don't attack the person, right?
27:49
They have an honest reason for why they believe what they believe.
27:53
Maybe they've gotten bad advice.
27:54
Maybe they've been looking at the wrong news sources.
27:57
Maybe they've been looking at fake news sources.
27:59
You don't know.
28:00
Attack the dumb idea.
28:01
Because when you start attacking the person, you're never going to win them over and you're
28:04
certainly not going to win the argument about the idea, okay?
28:07
And the last always statement is always be willing to stand up for truth when truth is
28:12
able to be proven, okay?
28:14
We keep going back to this and I'm going to keep saying truth about a thousand times.
28:17
So play a drinking game with yourself, you know, drink every time I say the word truth.
28:21
Always be willing to stand up for truth, guys.
28:23
Because that's the thing is going back to the dumb idea concept, right?
28:27
Attack the dumb idea.
28:28
If truth can be determined, you have to fight for it.
28:32
If it's important, again, going back to this hill worth dying on.
28:35
If truth can be found, you have to fight for it, guys.
28:37
So again, the art of being offensive, there are five always statements that I think will
28:42
help you in your art to be offensive, right?
28:44
The first is always be willing to cordially discuss the issue at hand.
28:47
Second, always ask good questions.
28:50
Third, always summarize what the other person said.
28:53
Fourth, always attack the dumb idea, not the dumb person.
28:57
Fifth, always be willing to stand up for truth when truth is able to be proven.
29:02
Now there's a really important question that I think is really useful for all of us to
29:06
think about and that is when is it a good time to offend somebody, right?
29:11
When is it a good time?
29:12
When is it an appropriate time to offend someone, right?
29:14
And I think there are two answers to that question.
29:17
So I'm going to answer the question that I asked myself.
29:19
The first is when they need to be woken up, right?
29:22
And the second is when truth is on the line.
29:25
So when they need to be woken up and when truth is on the line, okay?
29:29
So many people are just content with being in the dark, guys.
29:33
They're just cool with it.
29:34
Like they don't want to be woken up.
29:36
I mean, guys, just look at this podcast has offended people.
29:40
Maybe not this particular episode, but maybe, but just look back on some of the episodes.
29:44
I mean, you know, I already mentioned the one about guns and the reality of evil.
29:47
Episode 10, the episode on abortion.
29:50
So that was episode number six.
29:51
If you want to go back and listen to that, obviously if you listen through that and you're
29:54
on the pro choice side of things, that's going to be very offensive.
29:57
And I hope it is because I described in detail what's happening in the womb and what happens
30:02
during abortions.
30:04
But also look at Pussy's and the pews.
30:06
That was episode number four.
30:07
And I said it in that episode, that's the line in the sand episode.
30:09
Like, if you can't be down with that episode in the philosophy they're in, you're not going
30:13
to make it very far.
30:15
You're just not going to like this.
30:16
Like why would I beg you to stay and listen to these types of things?
30:18
And the thing with that podcast is most of the people that were offended by it were church
30:22
people.
30:23
People that are in the church, people that like didn't like the fact that I was calling
30:25
them out.
30:26
That just wasn't very comfortable for them, right?
30:28
And some people are offended by my word choice.
30:30
And again, there might be some wisdom in that, but that's just kind of the thing is like,
30:33
this is how you guys talk.
30:36
So why in the world would I try to talk how I don't talk or talking away that doesn't
30:41
really make sense to you or is that is, you know, kind of bleached?
30:43
Why?
30:44
Like why would I do that?
30:45
But there's, there's always a good time to offend somebody and there's an appropriate
30:49
time to do that, right?
30:50
Because these people need to be woken up, try to wake them up, man.
30:53
Like if someone's walking around like, there was a kid that I'm mentoring.
30:56
He's a college student.
30:57
He's a, he's a freshman at a local university here in the Oakland city metro area.
31:01
And he's a, he's a devout Christian, but he also told me he's like, yeah, and I would
31:04
consider myself pro choice.
31:06
And so we got to have a discussion about that.
31:08
And so I entered into the fray with this young and just not to like prove him, like prove
31:13
him wrong and school him up.
31:14
But there were a lot of things he didn't understand that he was just basically spouting the same
31:18
nonsense that he had learned basically as a, as a freshman on campus and all these arguments
31:23
that people were saying about abortion and he didn't even know what an abortion was.
31:25
He didn't, like he knew what happened, but he didn't know in detail like what's happening
31:29
medically when, whenever that particular thing is going on.
31:32
So I had to be willing to offend him in order to go into that situation.
31:36
So yeah, he needed to be woken up and truth was on the line because he was saying some
31:39
really stupid things that weren't true.
31:42
And that was when I needed to get in there.
31:44
But here's the corollary for, for all of you guys.
31:46
So if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably a Christian male.
31:49
And even if you're not, I mean, thank you so much for listening in.
31:52
We're glad you're here.
31:54
But the most offensive thing in the history of mankind guys is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
31:59
Like what can you think of that would be more offensive than that?
32:04
So let's put it this way.
32:05
If you're a believer in another religion of some kind, or maybe you believe in another
32:08
God or gods or something like that, the gospel is really, really offensive, right?
32:14
I mean, if you worship yourself, like you worship at the altar of self, the gospel is
32:18
really offensive.
32:19
If you're a materialist or, you know, an evolutionary biologist, the gospel is very, very offensive.
32:24
I mean, if we're just highly evolved monkeys, I say that all the time, we're highly evolved
32:27
monkeys that wear pants.
32:29
That's what you think.
32:30
That's your paradigm in your brain.
32:31
The gospel is super offensive and it's offensive because it brings morality with it.
32:36
Like where did we get morality?
32:38
Where did we get moral law?
32:40
Where did we get truth, right?
32:43
And I just kind of go back to Matthew 10, 22.
32:45
I really loved what Jesus was saying here in this chapter.
32:49
There was a lot of great things that he said in this section, but specifically this one
32:53
on Matthew 10, 22 is, and you will be hated by all for my name's sake, but the one who
32:59
endures to the end will be saved, right?
33:01
I think that's an important thing.
33:02
Jesus was basically foreshadowing for us.
33:05
Guys, we're going to be hated for some of our positions.
33:08
And it's because those are my positions.
33:10
And if you say that you're a disciple of mine, this is how you need to act.
33:13
And these are the things that you need to believe because these are the things that
33:15
are true.
33:16
These are the things that are moral.
33:17
These are the things that you should do, right?
33:20
And guys, just to be honest with you, if you're in ministry and listening to this or even
33:23
if you're outside of vocational ministry, if the gospel that you present to people isn't
33:29
offensive, it's not the gospel.
33:32
It's just not.
33:34
The gospel in and of itself is an incredibly offensive thing because it goes directly
33:40
against our sin nature.
33:43
Everything in our nature wants to buck against that, right?
33:47
Like now, guys, don't, don't, don't misread me here.
33:50
Don't miss hear me.
33:51
This doesn't give you license to be a dick, like just present the gospel the way it is.
33:57
You don't need to add to it.
33:58
One of the most nefarious things I see in the modern day church is people try to like sprinkle
34:02
things onto the gospel as if it needed sprinkles.
34:04
It's like, guys, it's already sweet enough.
34:07
Like there's no sweeter news on the planet earth.
34:10
We don't need you to come up with some allegories or some sort of metaphor that helps us understand
34:15
it in a different way.
34:16
You're trying to change the gospel to make it more palatable for the rest of the public.
34:20
Why are you doing that?
34:22
And here's the thing, guys, with the gospel, when you're sharing it with people, when you're
34:26
trying to help them understand and see the good news, expect backlash, like expect hurt
34:30
feelings, you know, expect people to roll their eyes, expect nasty comments on social
34:35
media or, you know, text messages to you, and guys just deal with it.
34:40
I mean, life's tough.
34:41
Get a helmet.
34:42
Like this isn't about us.
34:44
It's about him.
34:45
It's about Jesus.
34:46
Like it's about the triune God.
34:48
So again, guys that are unwilling to enter into the fray and potentially offend somebody
34:55
on an important social issue, is that guy going to be more likely to offend people by
35:01
sharing the gospel, something that is infinitely more important than any social justice issue
35:06
that you could possibly imagine, someone's, you know, eternity and their rightness or
35:11
wrongness from God, their closeness or their distance from God.
35:15
I mean, we just got to think about that, guys.
35:17
So this is my encouragement to you.
35:19
And my encouragement is rock the boat, fellas.
35:22
I mean, rock the boat.
35:24
Look for opportunities to offend people in the direction of truth.
35:30
But that's one statement, guys, don't just take the first part of it.
35:33
Don't just look for opportunities to offend people, but look for opportunities to offend
35:36
people in the direction of truth, you know, offend them in the direction of the gospel,
35:42
using the gospel, defend them in the direction of wanting to protect the sanctity of human
35:47
life of what's growing inside of a woman's body.
35:50
You know, if you're in a situation where there's spousal abuse or child abuse happening, like
35:55
be able to enter in the fray and be offensive and to potentially protect somebody, you know,
36:00
Muslim fundamentalism and terrorism and jihad and things like that, you've got to be able
36:05
to potentially offend people to stand up for truth.
36:07
Hunger.
36:08
You have people that are not being fed well and not nourished in the right way.
36:12
And you know, I offend people by bringing up ways that they could help that they're not
36:16
doing right now.
36:17
Be willing to do that, like offend people that need to be woken up.
36:21
I mean, guys, what a sad, sad existence to be seen as, you know, the safe, nice guy, the
36:26
guy that never really rocked the boat, the guy just kind of putted his way through life,
36:30
right?
36:31
And that's what we're being told to do now, right?
36:33
Societally, that that's what they want men to be.
36:36
Just being a nice guy, you know, you know, wear your glasses and your sweater and, you
36:40
know, drive your minivan and I'm not hating on people that wear glasses and wear sweaters
36:44
and drive a minivan.
36:45
It's just kind of like, you know, you get this Mr. Rogers sense of who you're supposed
36:49
to be as a man.
36:50
And it's just like, dude, gosh, like rock.
36:52
You can't imagine Mr. Rogers rocking the boat and that's partially the point.
36:56
Like we want you guys to be able to enter the fray.
36:58
We want you to be tough.
36:59
We want you to be, you know, have resolved when you're going into these areas.
37:02
So allow this to be that encouragement to you.
37:04
And even if you would go so far as to say it, an inspiration for you to enter into those
37:08
situations, look for opportunities where you can do well and do good in this world.
37:13
And if you have to offend some people along the way, consider it a collateral damage that
37:18
you're okay with.
37:19
Okay.
37:20
So guys, as you know, by now, we are a men's ministry and our mission is cultivating manly
37:24
resilience.
37:25
We're going to move into the quick resilience boost here in the podcast.
37:29
And so one thing that we do in this ministry is that we provide content that for just spiritual,
37:33
mental and physical toughness.
37:34
So I don't normally talk about physical resilience on the podcast, but I do want to talk about
37:38
it today, just shifting gears just a little bit.
37:41
Please go to our Instagram page.
37:42
Okay.
37:43
So if you go to Instagram, if you're not on Instagram, you know, maybe get on it.
37:46
I mean, I'll provide the links for these videos to you anyway, but you can follow us there
37:50
at undaunted life.
37:51
So just search at undaunted life.
37:53
The last two Tuesdays, I posted a challenge, a workout challenge.
37:57
So every Tuesday morning, I post a workout of the week.
38:00
So I try to change up the body parts, change up what we're working on and all those different
38:03
things.
38:04
But last week, I did a burpee challenge.
38:07
And this week, I did a Hindu squat challenge.
38:09
Okay.
38:10
So burpee challenge was basically as many burpees as possible in one set, right?
38:15
So in by set, I mean, like, okay, you don't do like 50 burpees and then go, you know, chug
38:20
some Gatorade and then come back five minutes later and then start doing some more.
38:23
I mean, like the most amount of a break you're taking is, you know, standing up, putting
38:27
your hands on your hips and taking, you know, a few deep breaths and then just keep going.
38:31
So as many as you can, right?
38:33
And then the one that I just posted on Tuesday of this week was Hindu squats, right?
38:38
So I'll send out the link and they'll be attached to this podcast, these podcast notes as well.
38:44
But basically it shows you what a Hindu squat is.
38:47
And so it's just basically a body weight squat, but it's kind of one continuous motion.
38:52
So I just want to send you guys there.
38:54
So make sure that you follow us on Instagram so that you can see those workouts every single
38:57
week because I know a lot of guys are actually doing these and it's helping kind of get them
39:01
motivated and get them kind of jump started, especially if they're trying to work on their
39:04
physical resilience.
39:05
So and also posts in there, how many you did.
39:08
So on the burpee challenge, I had guys posting how many they did on the Hindu squat challenge,
39:12
they can do that as well.
39:13
So make sure you go over there and check that out, all right?
39:15
So guys, thank you again as always for listening into this podcast.
39:18
If you would, please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud or Google Play and refer your friends to listen
39:23
and share this on social media.
39:24
If you use the hashtag on Daunted Life, we'll find it and make sure that we like it.
39:28
Okay.
39:29
If we deserve a five star review, guys, please leave one.
39:31
We're currently five star reviewed on iTunes, which is fantastic.
39:34
So let's keep that going.
39:35
I am booking speaking engagements for 2018.
39:38
So if you're interested in having me come speak to your company or to your team or to
39:42
your school or to your men's group or your church or whatever, please send me an email
39:46
at info@undaunted.life, again, that's info@undaunted.life.
39:51
Our website is www.undaunted.life.
39:54
You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undaunted life and facebook.com backslash
39:58
undaunted life.
40:00
You can also check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible app.
40:03
Just search undaunted life under plans.
40:05
And as always, we want to thank the band, August Burns Red for allowing us to use their
40:08
music library for our content.
40:10
The intro outro track on this podcast is their song King of Sorrow, which is off their latest
40:14
record entitled Phantom Anthem.
40:16
Links to all this are in the description.
40:19
I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.
40:21
Remember, keep cultivating manly resilience, keep forging spiritual, mental and physical
40:26
toughness, keep seeking the lion a dream.