011 - Q&A Vol. 1 | Undaunted.Life

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0:59 This is undaunted life of man's podcast.

1:13 I'm your host, Kyle Thompson.

1:14 Let's get into it.

1:15 All right.

1:15 A few weeks ago, I asked you guys on social media to go ahead and send me some

1:18 questions that we were going to be doing a Q&A podcast.

1:21 So this is our very first Q&A podcast.

1:23 So we're really, really excited to go through a bunch of different materials.

1:26 You guys definitely came through.

1:28 Some of these questions I got were just incredible.

1:31 Like I didn't get any throwaway questions.

1:33 And the crazy thing is, is I had a lot of different people send me questions.

1:37 And these are people from all over the country and all over all kinds of different

1:40 backgrounds and no two questions were the same.

1:43 Like it was really, really incredible.

1:45 And so you guys asked a lot of really good questions.

1:47 Went over a lot of different topics.

1:49 So we're going to go ahead and get into the first question here.

1:51 And is what made you start undaunted life?

1:54 OK, so if you go back to episode one of this podcast, I really go into really

1:58 a lot of detail as to where undaunted life came from.

2:01 So I would urge you if you haven't listened to episode one, go ahead and listen to

2:05 episode one, but, but really it's, it's just an outpouring of a desire in my heart

2:10 for men to be better and specifically Christian men within the church.

2:13 OK, and we've talked a lot about different things on this podcast with

2:17 the church has done well with the church has done poorly to kind of help in aid

2:21 this in different ways.

2:23 And so undaunted life was kind of the answer to the gap that I felt was in the,

2:28 you know, all the different modern Christian men's ministries that I've seen,

2:31 ones that I've even been a part of and even specifically just guys that those

2:36 ministries were not reaching.

2:37 OK, so there's a, there's just a certain, certain type of guy that most

2:41 church men's things don't really go after and they don't really look to find a way

2:46 to attract these men and invariably these men miss out on who Jesus is

2:50 because they don't like his followers, right?

2:52 And so that is really the main reason for undaunted was I'm just going

2:56 after the hearts of men that are just kind of you're not conventional.

2:59 Church men and that type of a thing.

3:01 But again, if you want a longer answer to that, go back to episode one of the podcast.

3:04 All right, next question.

3:06 How can we expand the reach of this men's ministry?

3:09 Is it something that can be brought to local churches throughout the world?

3:13 So this was a question that someone asked on Facebook.

3:15 And, you know, I've thought a lot about that, obviously, like for those of you

3:18 that know me personally, I'm not the type of guy that just does things to do them.

3:22 And obviously I want to do things that will grow and get better with time

3:26 and will help a lot of people.

3:27 And so at the end of the day, I've thought a lot about how this ministry can grow.

3:33 And I'll go ahead and answer, I guess, the second part of that question first,

3:36 which is I really don't think that this is going to grow through the local church.

3:41 I mean, church leaders won't really like a lot of the things that I'm saying.

3:46 I mean, go back to episode four of this podcast, Pussies and the Pews.

3:49 And obviously, just the fact that I named it that is going to turn a lot of people

3:52 in vocational ministry off, right?

3:55 But the thing about it, at the same time, this is definitely not a secular message.

3:59 I mean, I could I can make it secular and just make it just about masculinity

4:03 and, you know, going against the gender revolution or all those different things.

4:07 But it's not really meant for the secular crowd, either.

4:11 So it's it's a little bit frustrating on my end to even see where this is going

4:16 to grow, because I think it needs to happen the most in the church.

4:20 But really it's for me to be able to find advocates and people that like

4:24 undaunted life to find advocates within the church that can kind of champion

4:29 the type of thing that we're doing and the philosophy with which we're

4:32 espousing, I guess would be the best way to look at that.

4:34 And then to go back to the first part of your question, which is, you know,

4:36 how can we expand the reach of this ministry?

4:38 I think just for all of you listening to this is share it.

4:41 I know a lot of people, whenever you're on social media or on podcasters,

4:44 like, yeah, share this and share that and whoever shares this gets a blah, blah, blah,

4:47 or something like we're not going to do stuff like that.

4:50 If you like it, you'll share it.

4:51 Like at the end of the day, that's how it goes, like, whether it's a restaurant

4:55 or a podcast or a movie, like if you like it, you're going to share it with people.

4:59 So if the stuff that we do as a ministry is impacting you, this podcast,

5:04 our devotionals on you version, any of the things that we do on our website,

5:07 then share that around because most guys are not just going to happen

5:10 onto it and find it, we live in the most distracted culture ever.

5:14 I mean, TV ratings across the border going down just because Netflix, Hulu,

5:19 and all these different things, YouTube.

5:20 And so just share it, just share this stuff around if you enjoy it.

5:25 And then the second part is to live it.

5:26 I mean, you guys know how this goes, right?

5:28 You read a devotional, you read a book, you go to some sort of seminar,

5:33 you hear a guest speaker, a pastor or somebody speaking, you're super

5:36 jacked up and ready to go.

5:37 But then you don't make any changes in your life.

5:40 I mean, we've all done it to a certain degree, not every one of us

5:43 has put everything we've ever read or heard into action in our lives.

5:47 But if you start doing some of these things, if you really start focusing

5:51 on cultivating spiritual, mental and physical resilience on a daily basis,

5:55 people are going to notice people in your workplace, people that you grew up

5:58 with, people that you're around a lot, they're just going to end up noticing.

6:00 So yeah, I mean, I really appreciate that question and really just share

6:05 what we do and live it out.

6:06 Okay. Next question.

6:08 Do you want to be remembered for being tough or strong?

6:11 I really, really like this question.

6:14 So this question actually came from a buddy I went to high school with.

6:17 And so you hear a lot about those two things, right?

6:19 Like, you know, do you want to be tough or be strong?

6:21 And my answer 100% is I would rather be remembered for being tough

6:26 as opposed to strong because again, toughness, I feel like connects

6:31 to resilience more than strength does, right?

6:34 Because when you're resilient, it's your ability to bounce back.

6:37 Yes, strength is a component of that, but toughness is just something

6:41 that most of us do have to cultivate because you know this, right?

6:45 And you know this to be true.

6:47 A lot of people are just born normal, right?

6:51 But to be born tough, everyone knows someone who is just born tough.

6:56 They're like an old leather boot that's been sitting out in the sun for 40 years.

7:00 They just nothing really bothers them.

7:02 Nothing really hurts them.

7:03 They're just really, really gritty, resilient people.

7:06 But for the rest of us, and I certainly wouldn't put myself

7:09 in that category of super tough, for the rest of us, we do have to cultivate it.

7:13 There's this idea in modern culture that you're either tough or you're not.

7:16 Like, well, no, like you can be weak and then make yourself strong.

7:20 The same is true for toughness.

7:21 And here's the other thing about strength.

7:23 Strength isn't always going to be there, right?

7:25 I mean, just think about it.

7:27 We're in one of the worst flu seasons we've seen in a long time.

7:29 So there's a lot of really strong guys out there that just get KO'd by sickness.

7:34 And so for a week or two, they're not really strong.

7:36 Right, but you can still work on your toughness.

7:39 You can still work on your resilience, right?

7:40 And think about it even right now.

7:42 Like we got the Arnold Classic coming up, I think next week or something like that.

7:45 We're going to see displays of strength that, you know, the world has never seen

7:49 before, just the strongest men on the planet doing insane things.

7:52 But let's fast forward the clock 20 years.

7:55 Are those guys going to be pushing that same amount of weight?

7:57 Like there's no way.

7:58 There's a zero percent chance that any of those guys are going to be

8:01 pushing that same amount of weight.

8:02 But there could be a 100% chance those guys are still really, really tough dudes.

8:07 So again, if we're choosing and I guess this is Q&A podcast, so I do get to choose,

8:13 I would always rather have somebody look at me and think, man, Kyle, that's, that's

8:17 a tough guy as opposed to Kyle.

8:18 That's a strong guy.

8:19 So good question.

8:20 Next question.

8:21 What book are you reading right now?

8:22 Actually, I'm reading two books right now.

8:24 So I just did a podcast about Jordan Peterson.

8:26 I think that was two podcasts to go.

8:28 So I'm reading his book right now, the 12 rules for life and antidote to chaos.

8:32 So as of the recording of this podcast, that book is number one or number two on

8:35 pretty much every major, every major list of books and book sales around the world.

8:40 So just an incredible book that's having a large impact.

8:42 And I'm still about, I'm about a third of the way through that book right now.

8:46 And it is incredible.

8:48 Like I'm going to have to read some unbelievable books this year for this

8:52 not to make it on my best books of 2018 list for sure.

8:55 So in the other book I'm reading right now is The Great Divorce by CS Lewis.

8:59 So the both of those are the great divorces on our 100 books.

9:03 Every modern Christian man should read lists on our website.

9:05 If you just go to undaunted dot life backslash book list, you can find that there.

9:10 And I'm going to have to make room for the Jordan Peterson book because I'm

9:13 assuming that thing is going to sneak on there by the time I'm done reading it.

9:16 Okay.

9:16 Next question.

9:18 Worldwide, what are the best cultures at initiating boys into men?

9:23 This is probably one of the most important questions that I was sent.

9:26 So this one requires like a lot of thought and a lot of thinking, but the thing

9:30 about it is it's kind of simple when you break it down to its basic levels.

9:34 Okay.

9:35 So the best cultures and initiating boys into men are the ones with rituals.

9:40 Okay.

9:41 These are the ones that have rights of passage.

9:43 And so the thing about that that's unfortunate is this has almost been

9:48 stamped out completely in Western societies and really in culture overall.

9:53 So what we're left with, for the most part, is the more primitive kind of

9:57 tribal cultures.

9:58 Those are the ones that do these initiation rights of passage, right?

10:04 They do these rituals.

10:05 And here's an interesting thing whenever I was thinking through that because, you

10:08 know, I've read a lot over the years and did some more reading this week on

10:11 different rights of passage from around the world.

10:13 And none of these communities have any problems with a crisis of manhood, like

10:21 none of them. So we talk about a lot.

10:23 And I talk about a lot on this podcast about the crisis of masculinity in the

10:26 United States and also the crisis of fatherless homes, right?

10:30 We see all the time when, when dads there, things go better.

10:34 And I mean that within the household, but also within the community, when

10:37 there's more dads around, things are better.

10:39 But we don't hear about in these smaller cultures, having these issues of boys

10:43 staying boys until they're like 30 or 35 years old, like staying with the family

10:48 and not going out and starting their own thing, like we just don't hear about that.

10:52 And you know, we see a little bit with different cultures.

10:55 I mean, the Jewish community, obviously you can have your bar mitzvah and, you

10:59 know, at the age of 13, I believe.

11:00 And so at that point, you're, you are, I guess, liable for your sins and you're

11:06 responsible for your life as an adult.

11:08 But there's not really a lot of things in America that would lead to rights of

11:12 passage that are, and those are just incredibly important.

11:15 But I do want to share one thing with you because it was like horrifying.

11:18 Well, I was reading it, but basically I was doing some research on rights of

11:21 passage and I stumbled upon an article at Art of Manliness.

11:24 And it was talking about these eight, there were eight different ones that were

11:27 just crazy rights of passage.

11:29 And I had heard of some of them, but there was one in particular that I just,

11:33 I'm going to read it directly as the people over there at Art of Manliness,

11:36 Brett McKay as, as he wrote it.

11:37 And I, cause I just don't want to miss any of the details.

11:39 So just get ready for this one.

11:41 So here we go.

11:41 When an aborigini boy comes of age, usually around 15 or 16, the tribal elders

11:47 will lead the boy to a fire and have him lie down next to it.

11:50 Tribal members surround the boy while singing and dancing.

11:53 Another group of men called the mourners wail and cry while the circumcision is

11:58 performed.

11:58 Okay.

11:59 So guys, circumcision at the age of 15 or 16.

12:01 Here we go.

12:02 The tribal elder in charge of the circumcision sits on top of the boy's chest

12:07 facing his penis.

12:08 He pulls up the foreskin and twists it so that it can be cut off.

12:11 Two men take turns cutting away the foreskin with knives that are that they've

12:16 imbued with magical qualities.

12:18 Yeah, I'm sure the boy bites down on a boomerang as the operation takes place.

12:22 When the circumcision is complete, the boy kneels on a shield that's placed

12:27 over the fire so the smoke can rise up and purify his wound.

12:30 While the boy sits there, days and in pain, the tribal elders tell him to open his

12:35 mouth and swallow some quote, good meat, unquote, without chewing it.

12:40 The good meat is actually the boy's freshly removed foreskin.

12:44 After he swallowed a piece of his own wiener, the boy is told that he has eaten

12:49 his own boy and that it will now grow inside him and make him strong.

12:53 Now comes the second part of the initiation, the sub incision.

12:58 A few months after the circumcision, the tribal elders take the young men again to

13:02 the fire and elders sits on the boy's chest and takes a hold of the boy's penis.

13:06 Again, there are singers and men mourning at the ceremony.

13:09 A small wooden rod is inserted into the urethra to act as a backing for the knife.

13:15 The operator then takes a knife and makes a split on the underside of the penis

13:20 from the frinulum, which is underneath the head of the penis to near the scrotum.

13:24 After the sub incision, the boy stands above the fire and allows his blood to drip into it.

13:30 From now on, the boy will have to squat when he urinates, just like a woman.

13:34 In fact, some anthropologists posit that sub incision ceremony is done to stimulate

13:39 ministration, allowing men or assimilate ministration rather, allowing men to

13:45 sympathize with females of the tribe.

13:47 OK, so writes a passage, right?

13:52 There's kind of an extreme one and you would never hear me advocate for that type

13:57 of write a passage, but there are cultures out there.

14:00 And so the guy that sent me this message, thanks a lot for making me go down that rabbit hole.

14:04 Now I get to share that with all of you.

14:06 But I do remember while I was kind of thinking through how I would answer this

14:11 question, there's an excerpt from a book called play the man by Mark Batterson.

14:15 So a couple of weeks ago, I think that was our our book of the week that we posted

14:18 on Instagram, but he talks a lot in that book about writes a passage that he did

14:22 with with his son.

14:23 And so this was a really good quote from that book.

14:26 So I'm going to go into that now.

14:27 So here we go.

14:27 Quote, I believe in baptism by immersion, but not just with water.

14:31 I also believe in baptism by fire.

14:33 It's the baptism, John the Baptist prophetically pointed to a baptism in the spirit by the spirit.

14:39 Without it, we're below average with it.

14:42 It's game on.

14:43 There is also a third baptism, a baptism into manhood.

14:47 Just as water baptizes baptism symbolizes our death to self and new life in Christ.

14:53 The third baptism is a rite of passage from boyhood to manhood.

14:57 It's a proving ground where mental toughness and physical toughness are tested to their

15:02 limits without the test.

15:03 A man may never really know for sure if he's man enough.

15:06 This is what is lacking in our culture in our generation.

15:10 So that's just a great quote there from Mark Patterson.

15:13 And he's absolutely right.

15:14 I mean, if any of you guys did have rights of passage that you went through his

15:18 boys, I want to know about him.

15:19 So please email me at info at undaunted dot life.

15:23 Again, info at undaunted dot life because I certainly didn't.

15:27 And I don't know anybody in my circle of friends that went through a rite of passage.

15:31 And they're not insane, you know, because again, most of the time you get to just

15:34 make them up because in Christian communities, we don't have like that typical

15:37 rite of passage, but I've heard about people, um, you know, there were these

15:41 brothers that both had sons that were about the same age and they were at the

15:45 base of a mountain and at the base of the mountain, they taught these, these

15:48 young boys a whole bunch of things about camping.

15:50 So they taught them about how to set up their tent.

15:52 They taught them about how to start a fire, how to make sure they could find

15:55 fresh water and, you know, how to procure food if they ran out, just, just

15:59 different things, you know, just basic survivalist type stuff.

16:01 And then they went on hunting or not hunting trip rather, they went on hiking

16:05 trip. So they hiked all the way to the top of this mountain.

16:08 And again, if you've done any manner of hiking, normally when you get towards

16:11 the tops of different mountains, there's not as much coverage, right?

16:14 There's less trees, less bushes and things like that.

16:16 So they get all the way to the top and then they told these boys and these

16:19 boys are, I don't know, 13 or 14, something like that.

16:22 They said, well, boys, I hope you were paying attention to everything we

16:25 said at the base of the mountain because we're going to leave you here, you

16:29 know, we're going to go down.

16:30 So these are the dads are like, we're going to go back down to the vehicle.

16:33 And we expect to see you there by morning, but you have to stay out here all night.

16:37 And so they left the boys there and the dads went back down.

16:41 So the boys camped and did everything that that they did.

16:44 They worked together and kind of stayed there the entire night.

16:46 They packed up in the morning, came back down the mountain.

16:49 And if that's where the story ended, it'd be a good enough story.

16:51 But once they got to the bottom, they actually did a ritual where each

16:55 dad individually with, with their son, they, they talked to him about the

16:59 things that they loved about them, the things that were great within their

17:02 personality, the things that might be struggle points for them, some issues

17:07 that they're going to need to kind of really deal with and be very, very

17:09 intentional about and told them, you know, things about this is what a man does.

17:13 This is what a man doesn't do that type of thing.

17:16 So that's just one example that a guy just made up on his own.

17:19 I don't know if he got it from somewhere else, but that's just a great

17:22 idea for us with, with sons out there and I don't have any children at this

17:25 point. But if you have a son, just that is in that age range, can you imagine

17:29 the impact that would have on a young man that they know now that I am now a

17:35 man and I'm responsible for myself and I'm responsible for others.

17:39 And I need to live in a different way.

17:41 And that's not just something that happens on a weekend on a hiking trip.

17:44 That is the introduction point to the next several years of development.

17:49 So I would certainly encourage all of you to do that.

17:51 And I think I'm going to do a future podcast just on writes a passage total.

17:55 So again, if you have any rights of passage that you've heard of, it's

17:58 something that I'm incredibly interested in.

18:00 So, you know, you can tweet at me or send me something on Facebook or

18:03 just email me and let me know, send me articles, send me your experiences,

18:07 whatever. So there we go on that one.

18:09 Next question, how can my wife or girlfriend or how can a wife or girlfriend

18:15 help a man become more resilient?

18:16 And then in turn, how can a man help his woman?

18:20 So the first bit of advice is to the wife or the girlfriend.

18:23 OK, and I'm going to keep it as wives, right?

18:25 Because, you know, with girlfriends, it's, you know, not, you know, obviously,

18:28 it's not a arrangement that you have before God.

18:31 It could be important to you.

18:32 You could love them, but a little bit different than a wife.

18:34 So the first thing I would tell the wife is just be supportive.

18:37 And that sounds so ridiculous and so elementary, but it's, it's completely true.

18:40 Just be supportive of your husband because the last thing a man wants

18:45 is to be nagged all the time.

18:48 And so that's kind of the next bit of advice is just don't complain so much.

18:51 And again, you might be like, oh, you're assuming too many things about me.

18:54 How can you just assume that I complain?

18:56 Well, I've seen it, right?

18:59 I've experienced it myself and a lot of guys need to be complained at or nagged,

19:04 but you don't want that to continue for very long, right?

19:07 You want that to be an environment where you are lifting up your husband, right?

19:12 And I guarantee you, that's what your husband wants.

19:15 So again, try not to complain so much, there are battles that you should fight

19:19 with your husband and things that are important.

19:21 And I'll get into some of those here in a second, but really try, try your best

19:26 to be an encouragement.

19:27 And with that, encourage your husband to do manly things.

19:31 And I'll, I'll let you define what manly things are, right?

19:36 I'll let your husband define what that is, right?

19:38 You know, going to a titty bar, not manly.

19:40 Okay.

19:40 So don't, don't take it that far.

19:41 But if your husband wants to go on a weekend trip with a boy is a camping trip

19:45 or if he wants to start doing jujitsu or if he wants to, you know, start, start

19:49 lifting weights or wants to, you know, learn how to fix the sink or something

19:52 like that, don't tear him down because that is a moment where he's being fairly

19:57 open to you and you could wound him fairly easily.

20:01 One thing that I talk about a lot is we got a group of guys that get together

20:04 on Sunday nights at a local MMA school here in Edmond, Oklahoma.

20:07 And it's kind of like it's a group that gets together.

20:10 We're all reading a book at the same time.

20:12 That's the, that's why I'm reading the great divorce right now.

20:14 Cause that's the book we're going over and we get together and we talk about the

20:17 book, the section we were supposed to read for about 30 minutes or so.

20:20 Then we do kind of an interval workout, a fairly intensive interval workout.

20:24 And then we do some training.

20:26 We have a guy who's a purple belt and then we do some no gi jujitsu training.

20:29 And it's one of those things where you don't have to have any wrestling

20:32 background, but any grappling experience or any jujitsu experience.

20:35 So you can just come and get in the room.

20:37 And you would be astonished at the excuses men give for not coming to this, right?

20:44 Um, it's just you've heard every excuse for under all circumstances.

20:50 The guy that runs a class is a guy named Rush Sweatman.

20:52 And he, he's been doing this for like 10 years and he's heard every excuse on the book,

20:56 but it's incredible how guys could like not give a crap about their families.

20:59 But then when you ask them to come and work out and, you know, kind of learn

21:02 some martial arts of any kind, all of a sudden they get really, really dedicated

21:06 to their families, like, Oh, no, I got to be really specific about my family time.

21:10 Like I don't want to take the time away from the family.

21:12 And it's like, dude, I know for a fact you played golf twice this week already.

21:16 And you spent two hours this just today, you know, working on your fancy football roster.

21:20 Like, so it's just one of those times when if your husband brings it up, don't be a

21:25 wet blanket, don't be like, Oh my gosh, why would you want to do that?

21:29 What if you get hurt?

21:30 Like, you know, what am I going to do?

21:31 It's for dinner tonight.

21:32 Like, like, don't be that type of person.

21:34 OK, like just be a support to that person.

21:37 Now, if it becomes insane and that's all they want to do and they're going to

21:40 Jiu Jitsu, like 10 times a week, yeah, you know, then you can have a conversation.

21:43 But try your best to encourage your husband to do mainly things.

21:47 And here's the other part.

21:48 And this is probably the most, you know, specific and important advice I could give

21:52 to a woman is do not accept weakness or laziness in your husband.

21:56 Do not accept it.

21:58 OK, again, I'll echo what Matt Chandler says, but men were not made for comfort

22:03 and couches, but so many men in my life, a lot of my friends, that's what they

22:08 look forward to.

22:09 They look forward to, you know, that two or three days when they can go, go

22:12 take a trip somewhere, go to the lake or something like that and just sit around

22:16 and drink and do nothing.

22:17 It's just like, like, why would that be the number one thing you would

22:21 want to do in your life?

22:22 Sit around and do nothing.

22:23 It's insane.

22:24 It's insipid.

22:24 It's ridiculous.

22:25 Women, you have a lot of control over us.

22:28 I know that's not surprising.

22:30 Like, you can do a lot of things to get your man encouraged and ready to go.

22:34 And you know what I'm talking about.

22:35 But if you accept weakness in your man, he will continue to be weak.

22:40 It's literally a direct line of causation.

22:43 OK, if you allow your man to be lazy, he will continue to do things that make him

22:48 lazy, right?

22:49 And then it's going to be kind of a kind of a cyclical process for you.

22:53 Then you're just going to be mad at him all the time because he's not doing

22:56 things that he should be doing.

22:57 Do not accept weakness or laziness.

22:59 And if your man bucks at it, who cares?

23:02 Keep going after him.

23:03 You do not accept it, OK?

23:04 And now I'll get to the other part of the question, which was, you know, men,

23:07 how can you help your woman be more resilient?

23:09 And the very first thing I would say to you would be the same.

23:11 I would say to the ladies is be supportive.

23:13 Like, so many guys are just not supportive of the things that their their

23:17 ladies do.

23:17 They just they don't want to support them.

23:19 They don't want to give them the same amount of effort and intentionality.

23:22 So guys be supportive.

23:24 The other thing would be encouraged toughness without being domineering.

23:27 OK.

23:28 So yes, regardless of what, you know, modern gender studies professors would

23:32 tell you, there are major differences between men and women.

23:35 OK, there are major differences emotionally, physically, between men and women.

23:39 But that does not mean that men get to be tough and women get to be

23:43 whatever they get to be.

23:44 Women can be tough as well.

23:46 And we can encourage that.

23:47 So that's something that I do with my wife is my wife.

23:50 Obviously she does not take well to a domineering, do this right now

23:53 type of an environment she never has.

23:55 OK, but I can still encourage her to be tough.

23:58 I can still encourage her to be resilient in all different areas of her life.

24:01 So if she's if she's down in her business, you know, for a week or two

24:04 or something like that, I can be encouraging and be supportive of her,

24:07 but not let her wallow in it and be like, oh, my gosh, I understand.

24:10 It's like, no, I mean, you can fix this.

24:12 Like you can be tough.

24:13 You you'll get you'll get through.

24:14 This is just a bad week.

24:16 Don't make it a bad month because then it'll turn into a bad quarter,

24:18 which could turn into a bad year like we got this.

24:20 So encourage toughness without being domineering and then also set the standard.

24:24 Set the standard for your household and live the example.

24:28 Right.

24:28 So, you know, some people have gone through something called family ID.

24:32 That's where you kind of like make a mission and a vision statement for your

24:34 family and you kind of set up what your core values for your family are.

24:37 That's like setting a standard.

24:38 Like this is how the Tomsons are going to react in these situations.

24:42 OK, that's the standard you set up for the household.

24:45 But again, you can set it and you can put it up on the wall or you can have it

24:48 on the background of your of your phone or something like that.

24:51 But if you don't live out the example, it's just words, right?

24:54 So set the standard and live the example, right?

24:57 That's one of the greatest things that you could do for your wife.

24:59 And I mean, when you do that, you display how resilience helps the whole household.

25:04 Because again, you know, we hear this about, you know, modern

25:06 patriarchal Christianity and all this toxicity within masculinity, which, you

25:10 know, I'll clearly talk about it in future podcasts.

25:12 You hear about all those things, but have you ever been in a home where the

25:16 husband is really, really dutiful and really prudent with everybody?

25:19 And he's, he's invested in all the relationships within the household.

25:23 Did it feel like the wife was oppressed?

25:26 Did it feel like she couldn't operate within her normal self?

25:28 Do you feel like she was operating at less than what she was capable of?

25:31 No, that's not what happens again.

25:34 When the man is leading, when the man is providing headship in an appropriate

25:38 manner, everyone around them, everyone in the family unit tends to do better.

25:42 Like if you look at it statistically speaking, anthropologically, you know,

25:46 if you look at it anyway, it's always positive.

25:48 So there's just a little bit of advice for wives and for husbands.

25:52 Okay.

25:52 Moving on to the next question.

25:54 Regarding fitness, what are the top three mistakes you believe men make

25:58 in today's society?

25:59 Any suggestions or tricks you have insert here?

26:02 Okay.

26:02 So I, I mean, I'm going to do four.

26:04 Okay.

26:04 I tried to narrow it down to three, but there was really four I wanted to talk

26:07 about.

26:08 So the first thing is that men just don't exercise nearly enough.

26:11 Again, may seem really simple, but it is, you know, you'll have a guy who will

26:15 go to the gym once and then he'll find excuses for the next two weeks.

26:19 And then the next time he goes back, he's like, Oh my gosh, I'm so sore.

26:23 And gosh, I'm so tired and my cardio is so bad and blah, blah, blah.

26:26 Yeah, because you haven't gone to the gym in a week or two or a month or a year,

26:34 it's bound to happen.

26:35 So, so you just have these guys that will just do a little bit.

26:39 They'll do a little 30 minute workout once or twice a week.

26:41 And they're just astonished that they're not strong and that they don't have good

26:44 cardio and that they're not flexible or whatever the thing is.

26:46 It's because they're not working out nearly enough men.

26:49 You should literally at a minimum be working out four days a week.

26:52 And I mean, working out hard, right?

26:54 Like in four days a week is not that much.

26:57 Like on a normal week, I'm working out either six or seven days in a week.

27:00 OK, and you don't have to be extreme.

27:02 I know everyone's got a different schedule, but you need to get in more time.

27:06 OK, you in 30 minutes, you can get in an insane amount of work.

27:10 OK, so guys just don't exercise nearly enough.

27:12 Second problem I see is that we focus too much on one aspect of fitness.

27:18 Like I see that a lot.

27:19 So you got guys that are like, I'm a runner, so they just run.

27:24 They don't lift.

27:25 They don't really focus on flexibility.

27:27 They don't really do anything else.

27:28 They're a runner, so they're focused pretty much strictly on cardio.

27:31 And then you got your like, you know, Jim bros, right?

27:34 You know, traps that go up to their ears and like super chess and they

27:38 probably skip leg day two, but then you have those guys that they just focus on

27:42 strength, but they have no sprint ability.

27:45 They have no cardio ability.

27:47 They can't touch their toes.

27:49 Then you have, you know, your yogis, you know, those guys that are just

27:51 they stretch all the time, but then they don't focus on strength training.

27:54 They don't really get much cardio vascular from doing yoga.

27:56 If you focus too much on one aspect of fitness, you will pretty much

28:00 just be good at that one thing.

28:02 Like you cannot run your way to having a really, really strong chest.

28:06 You know what I mean?

28:07 Like you can't like bicycle your way to being like incredibly flexible

28:13 in your Achilles and your calves.

28:14 Like it's just not something that you can really do.

28:16 So again, we focus too much on one aspect of fitness.

28:19 Um, the third thing that I see as a problem is we don't really have anything

28:23 that we're exercising for, right?

28:26 A lot of men, they don't have something that they're exercising for.

28:29 They don't have a goal in mind, right?

28:31 Because you know how it goes.

28:32 You like, you have someone who's just kind of a couch potato and then all

28:34 some, someone's like, Hey, I need you to run a 5K.

28:37 And then all of a sudden it's couch to 5K, right?

28:39 Like within a month or something like that.

28:40 Cause they've got something to train for.

28:42 Maybe they've got a bunch of buddies that are getting together to do a

28:45 church league, you know, basketball league or something like that.

28:47 Uh, then they're getting in shape.

28:49 Cause they know they're going to have to run up and down the court for,

28:50 you know, 20 minutes at a time or something like that.

28:52 So have something that you're exercising for.

28:56 Like that's something that's very, very important for most people.

28:59 Because if you don't have something that you're exercising for, you may not exercise.

29:04 Now I'm, I'm a little bit different that I just exercise for life.

29:08 Like people ask me, you know, Kyle, why do you train so hard?

29:10 Even before I started doing Jiu Jitsu, I just trained for life.

29:12 Like I want to be ready to go in pretty much any situation.

29:15 So if someone asked me to play, you know, two games of basketball back to back today,

29:19 I can do that.

29:20 So I bought tomorrow.

29:20 Great.

29:21 Jiu Jitsu, the day after that wonderful.

29:22 If I need to run a 5K, the day after that, that's great.

29:24 But it's because for me, I focus on pretty much all areas of fitness.

29:28 So I do focus on my flexibility.

29:30 I do yoga.

29:30 I stretch before and after every, every lift.

29:32 I do lift for strength.

29:34 Uh, I do a lot of cardio.

29:36 I also do cardio for explosiveness.

29:38 So a lot of sprint work, those types of things.

29:40 So just make sure that you're set up in all different aspects.

29:44 And then the last thing that I've seen, I'm going to add a fourth one is guys just

29:47 don't focus enough on nutrition.

29:48 Like it's just not something that they do.

29:50 So you'll have these guys that work out a lot, they'll work out five or six days

29:54 a week, but they're just not hitting their goals, like physically, athletically,

29:58 like they're just not really hitting it in the way that they would really like to.

30:01 And it's because their diet is garbage.

30:03 So it's like for the most part, if you drink beer and eat nachos and chicken wings,

30:07 it's probably not going to be great for your output.

30:10 And it doesn't take a whole lot, guys, like develop whatever you need

30:14 for your macros, figure out how much protein you need for your body weight

30:17 and the things that you need to feel yourself and just go for it.

30:19 And here's the thing on nutrition.

30:20 I'll probably have to do a future episode just on nutrition.

30:23 There's so much misinformation out there and there's so much information

30:26 that changes by the year.

30:28 I mean, look at it.

30:28 One year egg yolks are good.

30:30 The next year egg yolks are bad.

30:32 The year after that egg yolks are good again, like it's just flips back and forth.

30:35 And there's a lot of trends that happen where like these things come and they're

30:39 really popular for a little bit, but then there's really no backing for it.

30:42 So I like, I got a lot of buddies that are doing keto right now.

30:45 And the evidence, like the, the lab based evidence on the effectiveness of keto

30:50 is really right now, it's anecdotal at best.

30:52 It's like, you know, people that have done it, they're like, oh, man,

30:56 I made this extreme life change when it came to my diet.

30:58 And this is how it's worked for me.

31:00 But in the lab, the results are not quite as convincing, right?

31:05 No matter if you listen to Joe Rogan or someone like that talks about it on

31:08 YouTube, you know, it does, it's not a fix all for everybody.

31:12 I'm not saying don't do keto.

31:13 I know people that do keto that do fine on it, like after their body

31:16 readjust, but everybody is different.

31:19 Every individual physical body is different, right?

31:22 So the big thing for all of you is find a diet that works for you.

31:26 That allows you to have the fuel you need to get through the other

31:29 developmental things within your fitness, right?

31:31 So again, most of the time, if you're doing a lot of working out, so

31:35 if you're working out five or six or seven days a week, you're

31:38 probably not going to eat a lot of Doritos.

31:40 Like it's just going to be something where your body is going

31:42 to be craving nutrition.

31:43 And so that's when you start getting into the lean red meat, you get

31:46 into, you know, other like healthy fats, avocados and coconut oil, and then

31:51 your body in you, you're going to throw spinach and broccoli in there

31:54 and your body's going to be like, yeah, I need more of that.

31:55 So again, people don't exercise nearly enough.

31:59 Dudes do not, they focus too much on one aspect of fitness.

32:01 They don't have anything, they're exercising four and the fourth thing.

32:05 They don't really focus enough on nutrition.

32:06 So good question there on fitness.

32:08 Next question.

32:09 Is the church detouring men from a discipleship relationship with Jesus?

32:14 Yes, yes, they are.

32:17 Again, go back to episode four of this podcast.

32:19 Just even in the question, when you say relationship, it causes an issue

32:25 in the guy's brain, okay, because you need to have a discipleship with Jesus,

32:30 not a relationship with Jesus, okay?

32:32 The modern church is on this, this weird job of turning God into a genie

32:37 and Jesus into like a boyfriend that will protect us as he cuddles us.

32:41 Like that's not the God that we serve.

32:43 That's not who Jesus was.

32:44 Again, go back to episode four.

32:46 Listen to that.

32:47 It's a great podcast that goes really deeper into that.

32:50 And again, I don't want to seem like an anti church guy.

32:52 I'm certainly not.

32:53 But a lot of modern day churches, a lot of this kind of, again, the

32:57 Ted talk with the Bible verse revolution and all the, the super worshipy places

33:03 that you can go and do non-denominational church.

33:05 They've kind of turned it into this type of thing.

33:07 Like what is your relationship with Jesus?

33:09 Like even old school churches still use that vernacular, the relationship

33:13 with Jesus part.

33:13 So yes, churches are detouring men specifically because one, they're not

33:18 attracting them and two, they're not keeping their attention.

33:20 And part of it because is because modern day church is seemingly made for women.

33:24 So great question.

33:26 They're moving on to the next one.

33:28 My pastor is a woman.

33:29 Should I change churches?

33:30 So thanks a lot to ever sent this question.

33:34 Obviously they're trying to get me in trouble, but I'm glad.

33:37 I'm glad you send questions like this because it causes me to think about

33:41 how I can specifically lead through that and think through all the different

33:45 possibilities of that.

33:46 And let's just, let's just go from the beginning here and say, there are so many

33:52 resources out there on this exact topic.

33:55 You know, you talk about these different churches that are ordaining female

33:58 ministers and female clergy and female pastors and all these different things.

34:02 And there's kind of a liberal and conservative view of that.

34:06 And there's like a biblical and non-biblical view of that.

34:09 And so the thing about it is, is it's not terribly black and white, but it

34:15 kind of is like, I hope I'm explaining this well and I haven't even gotten into

34:19 the explanation yet.

34:19 So I'm sure I'm not, but there are a few things that I've taken from scripture

34:24 that I don't feel like I'm taking out a context that would lead me to answer

34:28 this question that yes, you should change churches if your lead pastor is a woman.

34:33 Okay.

34:34 So I'm kind of specifically talking about like the lead pastor, the one

34:37 delivering the sermons.

34:39 Cause I know one thing that's interesting in modern churches is pretty much

34:42 everybody that has a job in the church has pastor in the title.

34:45 It's kind of a weird thing.

34:47 It's like, you are the, uh, you know, Sunday schools pastor.

34:51 You are the missions pastor.

34:54 You are the coffee and donut pastor.

34:56 Like it's just, it's kind of a weird deal, even though they're not really

34:59 part of the pastoral ministry part of the church.

35:01 Anyway, that's kind of a side deal, but there's a couple of verses that I

35:05 think speak to this directly.

35:07 And even within these verses, you find a bunch of different camps about what is

35:10 it actually saying and what do they mean?

35:12 But I'm just going to share those with you and then let you go down the rabbit

35:15 hole and tell me what you think after that.

35:16 So fair enough, let's just operate with that.

35:18 Okay.

35:19 The first is first Timothy two and we're going to go versus 11 through 14.

35:23 So here we go.

35:24 Let the world, let the woman learn in silence with all subjugation.

35:28 Or sorry, I'm going to start over, let the woman learn in silence with all

35:32 subjection rather, but I do not allow a woman to teach nor to usurp authority

35:37 over the man, but to be in silence for Adam was first formed, then Eve and Adam

35:43 was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

35:47 Okay.

35:47 So within that scripture, there's kind of two schools of thought, because

35:50 obviously the apostle Paul wrote that he wrote it to his mentee, Timothy.

35:53 And the two schools of thought is that number one, Paul was kind of making a

35:57 declaration forever, you know, that that women should not be able to teach.

36:01 Cause again, they was specifically talking about what was going on within

36:04 the churches.

36:05 And the second is that Paul was making a temporary declaration, because at this

36:09 time, Timothy was working in Ephesus.

36:10 Some of the women were kind of distracting things within within the service, the

36:15 different services that were going on down there.

36:17 So some think that Paul was just making a temporary suggestion to Timothy, like,

36:20 Hey, let's suspend their ability to talk within the service, um, you know,

36:25 just for the time being type of thing.

36:27 But then there's another passage that Paul wrote.

36:29 And this is in 1 Corinthians 14.

36:31 We're going to look at verses 33 through 35 here.

36:34 So here we go.

36:34 As it, as in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in

36:39 the churches for they are not permitted to speak, but should be in

36:42 submission as the law also says, if there is anything they desire to learn,

36:47 let them ask their husband at home for it is shameful for a woman to speak in

36:50 church.

36:50 Okay.

36:51 So that's obviously, that's very specific language.

36:53 And even if you go back and look at the Greek, which I cannot read Greek, but

36:56 I can read different commentaries of people that are like Greek experts.

36:59 It's, it's fairly straightforward.

37:01 The language being used here.

37:02 And then also, um, if you are familiar with some of the stuff we've done, we

37:07 do have a U version devotional on Daunted Life does, uh, and it's a five day

37:10 devotional on marriage.

37:12 It's called Undaunted Life and Undaunted Marriage.

37:14 So you can find that on the U version Bible app.

37:17 And on day one of the devotional, we kind of go into this exact subject because

37:20 the, the modern day church is kind of used.

37:22 They've used some things in this area incorrectly.

37:25 And so I wanted to kind of set the record straight and, you know, where it

37:28 would be more helpful for husbands and for wives.

37:31 And one of the first things that I looked at there was the scripture, first Corinthians

37:36 11, three.

37:37 So this is a few chapters before the last, uh, scripture that I read, but it says

37:42 this, but I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ.

37:47 The head of the wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God.

37:50 Okay.

37:51 So that kind of goes into my next scripture, which is again from Paul.

37:54 And this is in Ephesians five, uh, and this is verses 22 through 33.

37:58 So I'll go ahead and read that here as well.

38:00 Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the

38:05 head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is

38:09 himself, it's savior.

38:10 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything

38:15 to their husbands.

38:16 Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

38:21 that he might sanctify her, having cleans her by the washing of water with the

38:25 word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or

38:30 wrinkle or anything or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

38:35 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

38:39 He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but

38:44 nourished and cherished it just as Christ does the church because we are

38:48 members of his body.

38:49 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and

38:53 the two shall become one flesh.

38:54 This mystery, mystery is profound.

38:56 And I am saying that it refers to Christ in the church.

38:59 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that

39:04 she respects her husband.

39:05 Okay.

39:05 So the thing that's very interesting about all these different passages is Paul

39:10 seems to be fairly consistent in his ideology about the, the setup between man

39:15 and woman.

39:16 Okay.

39:16 And the two things that are consistent, number one, is that he sees them as being

39:20 equal because Jesus and God see them as being equal.

39:23 Okay.

39:24 There's not like Amago day, 1.0, and then Amago day, 1.1, and the 1.1 is the woman.

39:29 Like there's no, there's no subjective quality to saying something like that.

39:32 Okay.

39:33 So we're equally made in the Amago day, but we were given different roles.

39:39 Again, equal, but different roles.

39:42 Okay.

39:42 And again, when you use the word head in the Bible, so, you know, talking about,

39:48 you know, the head of the wife as her husband, we're talking about authority.

39:51 So you're, you have authority over that person.

39:53 But even if you have authority over someone does, that does not place you ahead

39:57 of them in the, in the pecking order with God.

39:59 So again, think about it in terms of your kids.

40:02 That's normally easier for people to think about.

40:03 Yes, you have authority over your children, but they're not any less created

40:07 in the image of God.

40:09 You know what I mean?

40:09 Just because they're your children, they're, they're the exact same as you, right?

40:13 But you are the head of them.

40:14 You have authority over them while they're under your care.

40:16 So again, when, when we look at this, and again, day one of our devotional,

40:20 the, the undaunted marriage devotional goes into this much, in much more detail,

40:24 but just because men have authority over women does not mean that they're not

40:29 important.

40:29 Okay.

40:29 I want to make sure I drive that home, but bring this back around to the original

40:32 point that in my opinion, with all the things that I've read and all the things

40:37 that I understand, you know, with the exegetical explanations of how all this

40:41 comes down within scripture, that I think isn't inappropriate for a woman to be

40:45 a lead pastor.

40:46 I do think that is absolutely inappropriate.

40:48 I'm open to being proved wrong.

40:51 Okay.

40:51 There's obviously a much more liberal, uh, you know, decision that is being made

40:57 by a lot of different, uh, organizations are looking at something and they're

41:00 getting a different explanation than the one that I just gave you.

41:04 And, you know, it's open for debate to a certain degree, um, but I tend to fall

41:08 on the other side of that issue.

41:09 I don't think that it is appropriate.

41:10 And so if you have a female that is the lead pastor at your church, I would just

41:14 ask, what else are they being fairly liberal on?

41:17 What else are they taking kind of poetic license with, uh, within the church?

41:21 I would be very, very concerned about that.

41:23 So I am in no way implying that if the woman is leading the church at the, the

41:27 church is going to be, you know, doing things incorrectly in all these other areas.

41:31 But again, if they're relaxed on their understanding of the scripture in one

41:34 area, it could very well lead to being relaxed in other areas as well.

41:37 So it's a tough question, but that's the answer I would give.

41:40 All right.

41:41 Next question.

41:42 What is your Christian's response to Trump's initiative on building a wall?

41:47 Okay.

41:48 So, uh, one thing that I will just go ahead and throw out there from the very

41:50 beginning is even as a registered Republican, I had two opportunities to vote

41:54 for Donald Trump.

41:55 I'm a registered Republican in Oklahoma.

41:56 So I had the primary and then the general general election.

41:59 I chose not to vote for Donald Trump two times.

42:01 Okay.

42:02 So in all honesty, I voted for, uh, Senator Rubio out of Florida.

42:05 I voted for him for president in the primary here in Oklahoma.

42:08 I encouraged everyone else to do so.

42:10 Uh, he did not take the state.

42:11 Obviously I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz took the state.

42:13 Um, but I didn't vote for Donald Trump in the, uh, general election either because

42:18 I did not feel like Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton met even my basic

42:21 standards of human decency and integrity.

42:23 So I just really could not see myself voting for either one of them.

42:26 But when people talk about the wall, it's always a very interesting

42:29 subject and it can really split people down two different areas.

42:32 But I would ask people that think that Trump's wall initiative is

42:37 anti-Christian.

42:38 I would ask them if they lock their doors at night.

42:40 Like, do you lock your doors?

42:43 If you have a gate on your backyard, backyard is that closed at night and even

42:47 during the day, do any of you live in a gated community?

42:50 Like it's kind of that type of mindset.

42:53 You know, is that unchristian then because of what if someone wants to come

42:57 into your house just to sleep, but they come in in the middle of the night or

43:00 even in the middle of the day, you know, are you trying to keep those people

43:04 out here?

43:04 I mean, here's the thing about America guys.

43:06 We were founded on Judeo Christian principles.

43:09 So there's kind of this revisionist history thing going on where it's like,

43:12 nah, the founders weren't Christians.

43:13 Uh, they believe this and they believe that.

43:15 And it's, it's really nonsense.

43:17 We were founded on Judeo Christian principles and it's still our foundation

43:21 as a country, but we're not that nation anymore.

43:23 Like what about our modern law and the modern way that we operate even

43:28 culturally would make you think that we still operate on Judeo Christian principles?

43:31 I mean, we're probably closer than any other nation on the planet, but

43:35 gosh, you just can't say that we're still that country, right?

43:37 But at the end of the day, a wall is for protection, right?

43:41 The walls of your home are for protection, protection from people, protection from

43:45 animals, protection from the elements, those types of things.

43:48 Legal immigration is for the betterment of quality of life.

43:52 Okay.

43:53 So if somebody wants to immigrate to another country, they're likely doing it

43:56 because they're not having a good go in their current country.

43:59 That, that's the main reason why people legally immigrate into different places.

44:02 So the wall that Donald Trump is wanting to build, again, I'm not going to get

44:06 into all the differences about, you know, the budget and how can it be built?

44:09 And is it even going to be effective?

44:10 Cause that's not what this podcast is for, but a wall is for protection.

44:13 If we feel like our American citizens are not being protected and that's what

44:18 the president wants to do, he's more than welcome to, to suggest that and

44:22 Congress can debate it and they either pass it or they don't.

44:24 They either fund it or they don't.

44:25 Okay.

44:25 I mean, again, this is kind of a render unto Caesar.

44:28 What is Caesar's and render under God to what, what is God's?

44:31 You know, this, this country is operating under the purview of God.

44:37 Like we're not doing things that are outside of his, his presence, but at

44:41 the end of the day, like we don't have to do things strictly from a, from a

44:44 Christian biblical standard.

44:45 And I think we can absolutely defend ourselves.

44:48 And that's what some people think is a way that we can defend ourselves is

44:51 to build a wall.

44:52 So there you go.

44:53 So next question, here we go.

44:56 Don't all roads lead to God.

44:58 And he was basically talking about, you know, the roads being different faiths.

45:02 So obviously this is an incredibly ridiculous statement, but this is a

45:06 statement that a lot of us have heard, you know, Hey, you know, all

45:08 religions are pretty much the same.

45:10 I mean, we've all heard that, but there's kind of an easy proof that makes

45:14 that statement ridiculous.

45:16 And the proof is, is just take, take two religions that you've heard of

45:20 before, and then just ask one central question and see where they fall on it.

45:23 Well, let's just do an example.

45:25 So let's look at Christianity and Judaism.

45:27 Okay.

45:27 And let's just compare the two on their thoughts on Jesus only.

45:31 Okay.

45:32 So Christians obviously think Jesus is the Messiah.

45:36 He's the savior.

45:36 He's the son of God.

45:37 Jews do not.

45:40 They saw Jesus as a rabbi, a prophet.

45:43 And then they also saw him as a heretic.

45:46 And they pretty much got him killed.

45:48 Right.

45:49 So even on one particular subject, even though that subject is gigantic in being

45:54 Jesus, Jews and Christians can't seem to, you know, see eye to eye on that.

45:58 Jews think that the Messiah has not come yet.

46:00 So do all roads lead to the same place?

46:03 I mean, Judaism and Christianity certainly don't lead to the same place.

46:06 But let's look at Christianity and Islam and let's keep it on the same thing.

46:10 Let's keep it on the subject of Jesus.

46:11 We know how Christians feel about Jesus within Islam.

46:14 Jesus is in the Quran.

46:15 I don't know if you knew that, but Jesus is described in the Quran as a prophet.

46:19 But people within the Muslim religion, they believe that Jesus didn't die on

46:24 the cross.

46:25 I think it's called a swoon theory or something like that.

46:28 They don't believe Jesus actually died on the cross.

46:29 Right.

46:30 And some of them think that, you know, his body was, you know, transfixed with

46:34 someone else's body.

46:35 It's kind of a complicated thing, but they do not think Jesus is the Messiah at all.

46:40 So if you look at Islam and Christianity, do both of those roads lead to the same

46:44 place?

46:44 No, not at all.

46:46 Look, look at Buddhism and Christianity. Well, look at Buddhism and Christianity.

46:49 So we obviously know about Christianity, but let's look at being and the afterlife.

46:53 So just the state of being in the afterlife.

46:55 Buddhism basically thinks that the mind is an illusion, right?

47:00 That we're not actually here.

47:01 We're not actually operating.

47:02 And that the ultimate thing that you can do with your mind is to just completely

47:06 unplug and disconnect, right?

47:09 That, and there, there is no afterlife.

47:11 Like you can, you can seek for Nirvana and get there, but then that's pretty much

47:15 where it ends.

47:16 How in the world does that relate with in any way to Christianity?

47:19 And guys, I've just named it four of the major religions.

47:23 We haven't talked about Hinduism, Sikhism, like any of those different things.

47:26 So this all roads lead to faith thing is just nonsense.

47:29 There was a buddy of mine recently that he and I were doing lunch and I was kind

47:33 of walking him through some things because he's kind of stuck somewhere

47:35 between being an atheist and an agnostic.

47:37 And he was like, you know, I feel like you've given me a really good idea of what

47:41 Christianity is all about.

47:42 Now I feel like I need to go learn about everything else.

47:44 And I said, you know, I understand why you would think that way.

47:46 But I said, basically, if the central figure of my religion, Christianity

47:50 is BS, if the whole story of Jesus is not real, if the gospels are fabricated and

47:56 fable, then yeah, after you figure that out, then go look at everything else.

48:01 And then you can kind of compare and contrast.

48:03 But if it's not, like, if it's real, if it actually happened, if it's historically

48:09 significant, and if you believe in it, then that's where you start.

48:13 It's okay to learn about other religions and hear about how other people

48:16 think because that allows you kind of an in road into speaking to them and

48:19 evangelizing to them.

48:20 But you start where you need to start.

48:22 And really it's, you know, who is the person of Jesus?

48:24 So no, all roads not lead to God, not all different faiths lead to the same place.

48:28 Okay.

48:29 Next question.

48:30 Is there ever a time God would want us to kill another human?

48:34 Again, very tough question, very interesting question.

48:37 And my initial reaction is that no, I don't think there is ever a time when

48:42 God would want us to kill another human.

48:45 And I guess I explained that that God still has a perfectionist, or I guess

48:50 a perfection mindset, right?

48:52 Cause God created the world that we lived in in Genesis one and two, right?

48:56 That's the world that God created.

48:58 Everything was in perfect balance and perfect order.

49:00 But where we live now is post Genesis three.

49:04 We live in a world where sin has entered and that's all there is to it, right?

49:09 But I think there are some hints in scripture as to what God and what Jesus

49:13 would say about self-defense.

49:14 Okay.

49:15 I want to make sure I make that declaration clear that I want to talk about self-defense.

49:18 So in Exodus 22, and I'm going to be looking at verses two and three, it says

49:24 this, if a thief is caught breaking in at night and is struck a fatal blow, the

49:28 defender is not guilty of bloodshed.

49:30 But if it happens after sunrise, the defender is guilty of bloodshed.

49:34 Okay.

49:35 So what this is basically looking at is it's looking at two things.

49:38 It's our basic right as humans to have property to own property and also to

49:43 defend it.

49:43 Those are the two things to own property and to defend it.

49:45 But it's also telling us about the, the need to not be so quick to end the life.

49:50 Right.

49:51 So, uh, I don't know that you could take this specifically literally, but if

49:54 someone broke into your house during the day, they're probably not surprising.

49:58 You probably heard them breaking in.

50:01 So it's kind of instructing you not to take a fatal blow.

50:04 If it's not really necessary.

50:05 Okay. Um, and usually around this point of the argument, someone will say, well,

50:09 didn't Jesus say to turn the other cheek?

50:11 And they're obviously referring to Matthew five.

50:13 Um, but when Jesus was talking about turning the other cheek, he was talking

50:17 about that in, in terms of kind of like personal offenses or someone like sliding

50:21 you or slandering you, something like that.

50:23 He wasn't talking about self-defense because the same Jesus in Luke 22 was

50:28 talking about, if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.

50:31 Okay.

50:32 So Jesus kind of knew that there would be a time that his followers would need

50:36 to, to defend themselves, that they would be under threat of some kind.

50:39 And he was upholding their right to self-defense.

50:42 And so I just want us to make sure that we're being very specific.

50:46 And, and I talked to people about like this, because they asked me, you know,

50:49 how does, how does you being a concealed carry guy?

50:51 How does that, you know, align with what, what God says and those types of things.

50:54 The thing is, um, if you're defending yourself, that's very different than if

50:58 you're being the aggressor against someone else, you know what I mean?

51:01 Like if you're being aggressive towards someone and you hurt them, uh, that,

51:04 that becomes a much larger issue than if someone is attacking you or your

51:09 family or your property or something like that.

51:12 And you defending yourself and defending that.

51:14 And sometimes that defense comes with lethal, lethal force.

51:17 It's just kind of the way it is.

51:18 All right.

51:21 Next question.

51:21 What are the best resources for at home or garage workouts, mixing strength,

51:27 training and cardio?

51:28 Okay.

51:29 So I'm obviously a huge advocate of at home gyms.

51:32 I have a home gym.

51:33 Um, and I'll, I guess I'll kind of describe you what I have in my home gym.

51:36 So I've got, uh, some of the essentials of what I would call home gym essentials.

51:41 So I've got a power rack and on that power rack, I've got two different pull up bars.

51:45 There's a, just a regular pull up bar and then I've kind of got a fat bar.

51:48 So it kind of works your forearms and hands a lot more.

51:51 I've got some adjustable dumbbells.

51:53 So it's kind of those, uh, I don't forget what brand they are, but basically you can

51:56 adjust them. There's some that go from like five pounds to 90 pounds.

52:00 And then there's some that go from like five pounds to like 52 and a half pounds.

52:03 Those are fantastic.

52:04 It keeps you from having to have a whole big rack of dumbbells and taking up all

52:08 that space in your garage.

52:09 And then, uh, I have a barbell and rubber weights.

52:12 So, uh, whatever amount of weight that you would need to where you can still do a

52:16 good workout, whatever it is that you're needing to do and then a bench.

52:19 So you can use the bench for a lot of different ways and make sure it's an

52:21 adjustable bench.

52:22 So you can do an incline or maybe even a decline if you want to do it.

52:26 So those, those are what I have in my home gym and those are what I would

52:29 think would be essentials and some other just extra things.

52:31 I've got a heavy bag in there.

52:32 So sometimes my cardio, I'll do a heavy bag workout.

52:35 So I'll do 20, 25 minutes on a heavy bag.

52:37 Um, so I'll do just like kickboxing on that.

52:39 I've got, you know, I've got dip bars that I can put on the power rack.

52:44 I've got a jump rope, different things like that.

52:46 Um, but here's the thing guys is YouTube is like an incredible resource for this.

52:51 So let's say you're like, okay, I want to get in an insane core workout.

52:56 And at home core workout, literally go to YouTube and type in insane at home core

53:00 workout and probably like the first five or six videos are all going to be super

53:04 intense, like really, really good stuff.

53:06 And a lot of these people are professionals.

53:07 They, they train athletes.

53:08 So YouTube's a great thing.

53:10 Um, if you want to pay for some different things, a lot of the beach body things

53:14 are a really, really fantastic P 90 X three, all those are 30 minute workout.

53:19 So it kind of takes away the excuses that a lot of guys have in terms of, uh,

53:22 they don't have enough time to do different workouts in sanity is a good one.

53:26 That one's basically strictly focused on cardio.

53:28 But the thing about a home gym guys is you do not need an elliptical machine

53:33 or a treadmill to get your cardio in it.

53:35 Like we do not have that in my house and especially during the winter.

53:39 Or if it's like, you know, going crazy outside, like I don't do a lot of cardio

53:43 outside, but you can just do a hundred burpees on the floor of your house and get

53:47 a lot of cardio.

53:48 Like you can do videos online.

53:50 You can do, um, you know, like I said, different burpee workouts or different

53:54 like just run in place type workouts to get a really, really good workout.

53:58 And that's another reason why I have a jump rope, like a jump rope is a really

54:01 good way that, you know, you do 15 minutes on a jump rope, like you're really

54:04 going to be sweating.

54:05 So those are some really good things for you all, you all to do.

54:08 And then also on Instagram, uh, every Tuesday we post a workout in the morning.

54:12 It's kind of the workout of the week and every single one of those, uh, pretty

54:16 much you just use what you have in your house.

54:18 Like I don't think I've had a single weight that I've used in any of those

54:21 videos yet.

54:22 It's just like, these are things that you can do in and around your home.

54:24 You might be running on the street or in the backyard or you might be doing

54:27 things in the garage or in, you know, a spare bedroom or something like that.

54:30 But there are so many resources out there.

54:33 And again, for you guys, just go out and search for them.

54:36 Like you have super computers in your pockets, right?

54:38 Like just get on Google and get on YouTube and you can find some really,

54:40 really good stuff.

54:41 All right.

54:41 Next question.

54:42 What are the top three things at home that keep your marriage healthy and happy?

54:47 Fantastic question.

54:48 So these are the three things that came to mind first.

54:50 And the first is that you have to communicate even when you don't want to.

54:53 Like you just have to.

54:54 And I know most guys don't want to sit in chat about their feelings or about how

54:57 things are going, but communication really is the key for what your wife needs.

55:02 She needs to know where you're at mentally, like she needs to know where you feel

55:06 like you're at on your finances on, on your relationship overall on your job.

55:11 Like, and when you communicate about those things, you're able to kind of take

55:13 charge of the conversation and really help send your, your life in a certain

55:18 direction, right?

55:19 And in your marriage in a certain direction.

55:20 Like I've never really seen a great marriage.

55:23 And you know, when you see one, right?

55:24 You know those people in your life, like, man, they got a great marriage.

55:27 All those people communicate.

55:28 They communicate really, really well with one another.

55:31 That doesn't mean they communicate perfectly, but they do communicate very, very

55:34 well.

55:35 So you have to communicate even when you don't want to.

55:37 The second is you have to make sex a priority.

55:39 Okay.

55:40 And again, I know I got a lot of how Lou is out there from the guys, especially

55:43 if you're listening to this with your wife, you're like, yeah, so you see, so

55:45 don't elbow your wife, guys.

55:46 But if sex isn't a priority, the stupid monkey brain that most men have, we'll

55:52 send them in the other directions of the things that you don't want them to go

55:55 into.

55:55 So pornography, just, you know, voyeurism, you know, having affairs, those types of

56:02 things.

56:03 So no, but I'm not saying those are the woman's fault.

56:05 But when sex isn't a priority at home, men will tend to kind of slake their

56:08 lust with other things.

56:10 So, um, normally people that have the most healthy sex lives are the ones that

56:15 have, have sex often with their spouse.

56:18 Okay.

56:18 And this is kind of a weird subject because most guys don't even talk about

56:21 this with other guys.

56:22 Like, you know, some women, I guess they talk about this a little bit with one

56:25 another, but dudes aren't just sitting around going like, Oh, well, you know,

56:28 and I'm not talking about like dude, bro.

56:29 So like guys like, Oh man, I slayed so many chicks last weekend.

56:32 Like not those dudes, like real dudes, like your foxhole guys.

56:35 Like most guys don't sit around and talk about how healthy their sex lives are

56:38 because, you know, if it's not going well, they don't want to seem like less of a

56:41 man.

56:41 But again, if you want to have a happy and healthy marriage at home, make

56:45 sex a priority.

56:46 And the third thing I would tell you is you have to deliver love in the right

56:50 language.

56:50 So obviously I'm talking about the five love language is type of thing.

56:54 And so I'll see if I can say these off top of my head, but it's physical

56:57 touch, acts of service.

56:59 Oh, shoot.

57:02 This is embarrassing physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation.

57:05 You know what?

57:06 I'm going to Google this while you're sitting here, that's embarrassing.

57:08 That book is on the the the 100 books at every modern Christian

57:13 managed to read list, but so please hold five love languages.

57:17 Boom.

57:18 There's seriously people like screaming at me right now.

57:22 Like you moron, why didn't you just look this up before?

57:25 I know.

57:26 Let's see.

57:27 Wikipedia, you are not helping.

57:30 All right, here we go.

57:30 Uh, physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service.

57:36 Good grief.

57:37 That was ridiculous.

57:38 Anyway, so if you have not heard of the five love languages, I just did a very

57:42 [inaudible] poor job of selling it to you.

57:43 But essentially the thing is is how you receive love is not necessarily how

57:48 your spouse receives love.

57:49 Okay.

57:49 So let's say for you, you are a words of affirmation person.

57:53 So you love the attaboys.

57:55 You love people patting on the back or patting on the butt saying, man, you

57:57 did a really good job.

57:58 Or gosh, you're just, you're so good at that or something like that.

58:01 Like that's what you want.

58:02 And let's say that's how you communicate love to your wife.

58:05 Gosh, babe, you're just so great.

58:07 That meal was wonderful and blah, blah, blah.

58:08 It could work out if that's her primary love language.

58:12 But what if her primary love language is quality time?

58:15 So you're thinking that you can just do a little quick drive by Attagirl.

58:19 Like, Oh, great job, great job with dinner.

58:21 But she just wants to sit and chat with you for about a half hour, about

58:24 nothing in particular, right?

58:25 So if you're not delivering the right kind of love and the right type of language,

58:30 it's going to be an issue.

58:31 And for a lot of guys, like it's like a major explosion in their brain,

58:35 whenever they finally figure this out, that crap, this whole time, I've been

58:39 loving my wife by giving her gifts.

58:41 And all she's wanted is, you know, a physical touch and not always sexual

58:46 touch, right?

58:47 Just, you know, caressing her back as you're walking by her or, you know,

58:50 rubbing her shoulders or, you know, touching her feet or something like that.

58:53 Like it's just different for every couple.

58:55 And if you haven't taken the five love languages quiz, you guys have to do it.

59:00 Again, the book's kind of dopey, but the concept is rock solid guys.

59:04 So there's plenty of resources out there for you to be able to take that test

59:07 and take it with your spouse as well.

59:09 And then you'll be able to love each other better.

59:10 So again, you have to communicate, you have to make sex a priority.

59:13 And you make sure that you're delivering love in the right language.

59:16 Okay.

59:16 Well, guys, here we go.

59:17 We got our last question here.

59:18 So let's get into it here.

59:20 What mindset would you suggest the college student have who is about to

59:25 embark upon his journey, both as a professional and as a man?

59:29 Obviously it's a very well thought out question.

59:31 I'm assuming this guy has a guy in his life or maybe he himself is about to embark on that.

59:35 And so I did a lot of thinking there.

59:37 And there were three things I came up with.

59:38 And the first thing is that the dumbest advice you could ever get is to, quote,

59:43 follow your heart, unquote.

59:45 Like when I hear people say that, I was like, do you have any idea about the heart

59:50 of man?

59:51 Like we talked about that a little bit on the gun podcast, you know, one episode

59:54 ago on episode 10.

59:55 But if you follow your heart, it's going to lead you in some very wicked

59:59 and depraved areas, like it's just going to lead you down those paths, right?

1:00:03 And so when you tell an 18 year old whose prefrontal cortex or their brain is

1:00:08 like seven years away from being fully developed, just follow your heart.

1:00:12 It's like what kind of a moron would say that?

1:00:14 Like that's really, really dumb advice.

1:00:16 And the second bit of advice that I would give is pretty much the second dumbest

1:00:21 advice you could ever get is to, quote, do what makes you happy, unquote.

1:00:25 And I deal with this as a professional.

1:00:28 So I'm 31 years old.

1:00:29 And I deal with this with other professionals that I'm kind of helping them

1:00:31 with their career paths and things like that.

1:00:33 Is they're like, yeah, I'm just not really happy in my current job.

1:00:36 And I think doing something like this would make me more happy.

1:00:38 And I'm like, happy.

1:00:40 When the world do you mean by that?

1:00:41 So happy kind of runs the same gamut.

1:00:45 Happy like, Oh, I found 20 bucks in my pocket.

1:00:47 Happy.

1:00:48 Oh, my wife's pregnant with our second child and the, you know, everybody's

1:00:51 healthy, happy.

1:00:52 It's all kind of the same continuum.

1:00:54 And I wonder why people look for happiness.

1:00:56 Happiness is so fleeting.

1:00:58 So I don't really understand why people seek for that so much.

1:01:01 I would tell you, seek fulfillment.

1:01:04 Like don't don't do the do what makes you happy thing.

1:01:08 Seek fulfillment.

1:01:09 Because there are days where you are fulfilling your, your duty to society

1:01:13 and humanity and to God by doing something that doesn't necessarily make you happy.

1:01:18 Maybe it's just a duty that you're having to do, right?

1:01:21 So again, do what makes you happy is really, really stupid advice.

1:01:24 And the last thing I would say to this person is choose substance.

1:01:27 Like always choose substance.

1:01:30 OK, there's so much bad advice out there on pretty much every subject on the planet.

1:01:36 And most of these things are not substantive.

1:01:38 OK, so even look at modern arguments where people are like picketing and, you know,

1:01:42 doing these things on social media and they're not using logic or reason.

1:01:45 It's just like most of the things that they're saying are based on memes or

1:01:49 based on feelings or based on emotions.

1:01:51 And they're not really based in any type of reality.

1:01:53 They're not substantive.

1:01:55 So the temptation for someone going into college is to go in all these different

1:01:58 directions that are not going to lead to a positive outcome, OK?

1:02:01 Whether that's personal, you know, outside the classroom or inside the classroom, OK?

1:02:05 So for someone who about to embark on that journey as a professional and as a man,

1:02:10 don't follow your heart.

1:02:12 That's ridiculous.

1:02:13 Don't do what makes you happy.

1:02:14 That's equally as ridiculous and choose substance.

1:02:17 Always, always choose substance, OK?

1:02:19 So guys, before I let you go, we're going to do a quick resilience boost.

1:02:22 Again, as you know, by now, we are a men's ministry. Our mission is cultivating

1:02:25 mainly resilience and specifically by providing content that for just spiritual,

1:02:30 mental and physical toughness.

1:02:31 So today we're going to do a couple of little mental resilience things.

1:02:34 I got a couple of articles I'd like for you to read.

1:02:36 Again, I all these questions made me think about a lot of different subjects,

1:02:40 but it made me really, really think about these rights of passage thing.

1:02:42 And I just want to encourage you again, if you have any information on rights of

1:02:45 passage, please send it over to me info at undaunted.life.

1:02:48 But there's two articles I'd like for you to read.

1:02:50 The first one is where I read that insane thing about the Aborigines.

1:02:54 But it's the eight interesting and insane male rights of passage from around the world.

1:02:58 So a link to that is in the in the description of this episode, rather.

1:03:02 And also, there's a National Geographic article that I wanted to share with you.

1:03:07 It's called The Many Ways Society Makes a Man.

1:03:09 So I very much so disagree with a lot of the things the National Geographic has said

1:03:14 and done about its kind of gender studies and the gender revolution.

1:03:17 But I thought that this article is pretty fantastic

1:03:19 in looking at how different things are going on around the world on that subject.

1:03:23 Guys, thank you so much for sending in all these questions.

1:03:26 And you can send these in at any time.

1:03:28 OK, so again, the guys that sent these in, thank you so, so very much for sending

1:03:33 these in and these guys text these to me.

1:03:35 They put them on Facebook.

1:03:37 They put them on Instagram and they emailed them to me.

1:03:40 I've got a lot of different questions in a lot of different ways.

1:03:41 So if you have any questions that you want me to answer on future podcasts,

1:03:45 because I'm probably going to do a Q&A podcast every five or 10 episodes or so,

1:03:49 just go ahead and email them to me.

1:03:50 That's probably the best way to do it.

1:03:52 So just info at undaunted.life, info at undaunted.life.

1:03:56 And we'll try to get your questions answered.

1:03:57 OK, please subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud or Google Play to this podcast

1:04:02 and refer your friend's solution and share on social media.

1:04:05 If you use the hashtag on Daunted Life, we will definitely find you.

1:04:08 If we deserve a five-star review for this podcast, please leave us one as the ratings

1:04:12 grow. So will the reach of this podcast?

1:04:14 OK, you can visit our website at www.undaunted.life.

1:04:18 And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at undauntedlife and on Facebook.com/undauntedlife.

1:04:24 You can check out our free devotionals on the U version Bible app.

1:04:26 Just search undaunted life under plans.

1:04:29 We also want to thank the band August Burns Red for allowing us to use their music

1:04:32 library for our content.

1:04:34 The intro outro track on this podcast is their song King of Sorrow,

1:04:37 which is off their latest record entitled Phantom Anthem.

1:04:40 The links to all this are in the description.

1:04:42 I'm your host Kyle Thompson.

1:04:44 Remember, keep cultivating manly resilience.

1:04:47 Keep forging spiritual, mental and physical toughness.

1:04:50 Keep seeking the lion of Judah.